Enough already here's the 2016-2017 Champions League thread

Are Barcelona that good or are Citeh that bad? 4 soft goals conceded tonight

rodgers oot

a bad night for kolo toure

he was p great again citeh so i'll give the big man a break

Lovely Griezmann finish vs Rostov but Azmoun, who I think will definitely be playing somewhere other than Russia next season, equalised about a minute later.

city suddenly looking v confident against barca after equalising

Stunning De Bruyne free kick.

Or bad keeping.

city running wild

they've dominated barcelona this half, been great to watch

yeah this has been a hugely impressive half. Absolutely battered them

Ozil goal was pretty spesh

https://twitter.com/FutbolNetwork/status/793566807755984896

Spurs have been terrible.

Should have had a penalty just then, though.

there's a moment of utter brainlessness about once every sixty seconds atm

There it is.

Shocking.

Still, Harry Winks off the bench will turn this around.

walker you fucking cunt

stunning return to form for this moronic piece of shit tonight

1-0 with 15 mins to go and their heads have dropped, Alli and I think before that Sissoko ceded possession and just instantly gave up. pisspoor

Legia are beating Real Madrid 3-2. Should have watched that instead.

totally going to lose to arsenal

I'm on the way back from the game and that was probably the worst Spurs performance I've ever watched in the flesh. It was fairly obvious from the team sheet that it was going to be a disjointed, unbalanced second string performance but fucking he'll.

Given the obvious deficiencies in wide areas, why the hell was Danny Rose on the bench?

It's hard to think of any moments of quality from anyone but the withdrawal of every creative player after the goal made me leave before the final whistle for the first time in my life.

you otm

have felt for a while that poch spurs are kind essentially a reactive side, with even the strikers effectively defending and stifling, closing down space and hoping to scuffle an opening from the opposition. against more expansive teams this can be v good, but otherwise there's not much creation of space, it's often very narrow, and there are not many runners. really feel like the team needs one or two decadent creative players with no defensive duties to lurk and provide sudden bursts of incision because everyone is a scrapper atm

...poch spurs are kind essentially a...

yeah. total lack of incision or will to risk the ball.

except for son to ill effect and walker in his own fucking box.

the other trend noticeable without alderweireld is that we defend appallingly. the opposition need only have the ball for a fraction of the time and show nothing more than competence in order to destroy us.

poch out

really feel like the team needs one or two decadent creative players with no defensive duties to lurk and provide sudden bursts of incision because everyone is a scrapper atm

On paper the obvious candidates are Eriksen and Son. Son is completely ill-suited to the CF role - we briefly looked much more balanced when he switched to the left and Janssen came on. Previously there were so many moments when Alli would play a ball through that he failed to anticipate in the way that a proper CF would - unsurprisingly really as Son should be one of the people playing that ball rather than receiving it. Kane's movement off the ball is often excellent and compensates for his lack of pace.

Eriksen has been playing inside himself all season and has had fewer decisive moments than I've ever seen from him. Something's not right there.

We were right in front of Walker for most of the second half and it was really obvious how he would prefer to negotiate some kind of painfully awkward comedy turn with an attacker bearing down on him rather than just put the ball onto his left foot.

Sissoko is powerful but his decision-making is execrable. Consistently.

Dier is a much better DM than a CB and looks very nervous at this level, as does Vertonghen without Toby alongside him.

Pretty much the only new signing to have settled properly is Wanyama, who was also the only Spurs player to have a half-decent game yesterday. Maybe Lloris as well but Leverkusen didn't seem too bothered about scoring until it actually happened.

Speaking as a Leverkusen supporter we more or less just lucked out (for once, given the last weeks) in eventually taking one of the many chances forced on us by Spurs regularly dropping the ball in a hair-rising situation. Nothing of interest in terms of offensive accomplishment coming from our side as well, but this is most probably just Roger Schmidt's ideal of a perfectly executed game.

Dier is abysmal as a CB. Enormously lucky.

commentator here described his challenge as 'rudimentary' and then 'agricultural' (?)

score?

0-0. Spurs are poor tho Monaco extremely lucky not to have a man sent off at the end of 1st half

Borussia Dortmund 5 Legia Warsaw 2 - after 32 minutes.

This is an absolute joke.

lol

I hope CSKA win at Wembley. Spurs don't even deserve be in the Europa League.

The Dortmund match is now 7-4.

Good riddance to Spurs. Theyve been atrocious

I’d like to say Spurs are going out with a bong. But given the slackness of their performance, it would almost be more appropriate to say going out with a bong. But let’s not.

put down the bong

Dortmund 8 Legia 4

presume that's a record?

Feyenoord beat KR Reykjavík 12–2 in the first round in 1969–70. This is the overall record for all European Cup/Champions League matches.
Borussia Dortmund beat Legia Warsaw 8–4 in the group stage in 2016–17. This is the record for the Champions League era.

Barcelona have a shot of beating it tomorrow night though.

luckily for me i have a day from hell in work tomorrow and won't have the time or inclination to follow how many goals the famous glasgow celtic are shipping

two maybe three decent performances since late April is the kind of thing that generated non-whimsical '[Spurs manager] out' talk back in the day, just sayin

I didn't watch the game but the expanded squad options have really fucked us. Even without injuries Poch has been rotating into systems for which we are manifestly unsuited. Also I miss Toby. When is he coming back?

I've been pochouttino for months but let's be serious here he's earned a lot of goodwill and he's not near spent it all

The Lamela injury hasn't exactly helped either - he's had some subpar performances this season but he's a sorely missed creative spark with Eriksen so out of sorts.

Guessing we'll deliberately tank the third Wembley game in order to try and avoid the Europa now. Hardly £150 well spent in any case. There's a lot to be said for reverting to last year's XI (give or take a Wanyama) as soon as we can.

Poch out is premature but starting a must-win game with Derby, Wimmer and Trippier at the back is straight up negligence. The whole CL campaign has been an embarrassment. It has been the holy grail for years and when achieved taken with the same seriousness as a Europa away leg vs Qarabag. It hasn't just been inept, it has been pathetic.

Dier*

I'm starting to wonder how bad his falling out with Vertonghen was, and whether something escalated ahead of the game. Vertonghen has been poor in the CL but that back line was a disaster even on paper. His selections haven't made much sense throughout the tournament and it has looked like he's been resting players for Premier League ties the following weekend.

Yep, that's the assumption the TV commentators were working on as well - Vertonghen and Walker were being rested for the Chelsea game at the weekend.

Amazing early games - my boy Azmoun inspired Rostov to a 3-2 win over Bayern, Besiktas came back from 3-0 down at half time to draw.

Rte showing celtic AGAIN. game prob picked at start of the group tbf

SV, did Bayern just throw the game or? They sank us to fourth. Which is probably for the best, to be out of Europe entirely. Already cant wait for this dreadful season to be over for us tbh

(Not taking anything away from Rostov btw, they have been impressive against Ajax earlier, just a bit uneven at times)

No, Bayern were on top for most of the game and Rostov scored with pretty much all of their shots on target. It's a bit of a fluke but Bayern were ok.

Good on Rostov though, they've made their mark and won't be a one day fly I think.

Benficas third goal was hilarious: they hit the crossbar, right post, left post and then scored.

I just came here to post that Benfica goal.

look good here fwtw, eriksen in partic looks all sparkly.

lol dele windup

lol dele windup x3 in five mins

That was offside but w/e

fuckin clowns

dier at cb ffs

That's better.

Though arguably also offside.

theirs wasnt off afaict

that were right good were that were

yeah thats clearly off

poch working on walkers possession game if tonights any evidence

tbf i only saw it once - the Russian commentators were saying Dzagoev was offside xp

How are they getting this much space on the break? Should be 1-2.

weve no fullbacks defending, one cb and hes not really too bothered and wanyama isnt even covering very well.

Leicester throwing a CL match. Fuck 2016.

been ok so far but the lack of any option for walker to pop a quick ball to feet in to son, alli or kane seems a glaring flaw

oh thats rather lovely

bizarre og but really good and varied buildup play tonight. kane makes everything else work.

Enjoyed that a lot more than the two games that actually meant something.

I remembered within about 20 seconds of his having come on that Alderweireld is our main playmaker.

Manchester City v Monaco
Real Madrid v Napoli
Benfica v Borussia Dortmund
Bayern Munich v Arsenal
FC Porto v Juventus
Bayer Leverkusen v Atletico Madrid
Paris St-Germain v Barcelona
Sevilla v Leicester

Nult:

"There will be guarded optimism surrounding the prospect of facing Bayern Munich, Sevilla and Monaco..."

Thinks that's a cracking draw. Aside from Juve and Atleti who I expect to progress and PSG vs Barcelona for what seems like the fourth year in a row the other 5 ties actually have me interested.

Draxler 2-0!

Barca haven't turned up at all

pretty sure Stevie G referred to yon Barca right back as 'Zé Roberto' pre-match, so I guess 'Sergio Roberto' is a step in the right direction but nevertheless

Barca being destroyed, 3-0 Di Maria. Loving this tbph

Every second ball is for PSG. Barca look... drugged.

Cavani 4-0

edinsonned

bummed to have missed out on this

It could have been 7-0. Quite amazing.

It was amazing. PSG out-Barca'd Barca. What a game from Veratti

PSG not even that good Imo, RIP Barca

PSG were not only that good but that's one of the most complete performances I've ever seen tbh

I traded a lot to watch that tonight and it turned out a bargain

barca still had 57% possession, they just . . . never went anywhere

Tackling tonight alone from PSG was of an incredible standard.

With D on this one, I though PSG were magnificent. And they kept at it! Even for PSG that takes some doing being 2-0 up. Every ball, every tackle was theirs, clinical finishing. Within their capablities it was a near perfect match for PSG.

PSG were great, i'm not diminishing that performance, but there are easily a minimum of 3 teams still in the competition that will not let them play like that.

the headline story here is that old school Barca are done: Piqué, Busquets, Iniesta, Messi - even the relatively non-Alzheimer's Neymar & Suarez looked fucked

Neymar was good. Pique was ok. The rest, eesh. Never thought I'd see messi play like that, iniesta missing passes from ten yards. Bizarre.

correct me if i'm wrong but didn't Pique's lumpen positioning play Draxler on for PSG's second?

Look man what's yr angle here anyway Madrid were the fascists remember

my angle is jesus christ it was like watching a puppy get run over by a steamroller for 2 hours

It was much more like Godzilla getting smashed about by the undercard tbh and noteworthy for that alone

That was terrific. Rabiot was so so good and Draxler has woken from his Wolfsburg slumber. Emery the European master.

Rabiot was good, but Verratti was motm for me. What a game he played.

Yeah but I expect that from verratti.

That was magnificent. And even more considering most, if not all, parisians thought there was no way we could beat Barca (I expected us to get whipped to be frank), especially this season as we're weaker than last year...
All the team (except maybe Kurzawa) was fantastic. And what to say about Kimpembe who was last minute replacement to Silva and had never played a CL game in his life !?
Most of our players were around 20-25yo. A team of children against men !

Kimpembe was motm

Meunier imo. Seems like a sensible lad too:

"I’ve always said that one day, I would like to play in the Premier League.On the other side of the channel, there are the stadiums, the fans, and I’ve never hidden that I’m a big fan of Manchester United, which remains, in my eyes, the real reference in the world of football."

I was so worried about Silva last minute's replacement, although Kimpembe has been great every game he's played this year, but wow, what a performance from him yesterday.
he single-handedly shut Messi and Suarez (I don't think I've noticed anything by Suarez, except his fail in the wall on Di Maria's freekick !)

not sure what to go with tonight. haven't found bayern that enjoyable to watch this season but think it might be an okay game tonight. only real madrid game i've seen is their loss to dortmund. let's face it neither is likely to live up to last night's psg masterclass.

also i somehow managed to completely miss the stormzy 'shut up' inspired mesut ozil track until last week. lol.

Robben robbening

great goal

everyone in the world knew what was coming except cocquelin

he actually stepped out of his way!

oh i see that napoli have got an away goal. need 2 screens now.

remembering watching alonso for spain against chile in 2014 world cup and thinking that was him pretty much done as a top tier player and yet 3 years later he's swanning about without a care in the world. that either says a lot about vidal and tiago or about arsenal.

can't watch either, but sounds like the madrid-napoli match is the one to see.

neuer gets away with some p bad keeping there.

oh shit, that was before i saw that madrid equalized.
xp

probably right mizzell but i don't think i've enjoyed watching madrid play since the zidane (as player) era
xp

arsenal pen. lol they've been getting caned.

misses then scores rebound.

great finish in the end

lol at the commentators thinking that arsenal will keep a clean sheet at the emirates.

great chance for arsenal 2-1. straight at neuer from xhaka. started by an ozil tackle no less.

ooh that would have been a great goal if lewandowski had kept that down!

sanchez' creepy relationship w/ his big lovely dogs is much funnier now he's become permanently fucking sick of everything and everyone else

yeah he hates his teammates so much! also you've reminded me that i think i read somewhere that lamela is depressed by the death of his dog and it's hampering his recovery from injury or something? will have to poll all these at the end of the season along with mccormack electric gate-gate and beharini mdma for stories of the year. not forgetting pulis loserville.

gabriel on for ospina

no he's not?

unless that was a suggestion?

ha sorry was a joke, ospina was down injured and they had gabriel on the side lines
he came on for koscielny

beautiful easy goal for lewandowski

lamb must be retiring just because he's bored yeah?

arsenal have been pretty good for the last 30 mins tbh

Casemiro stunner!

think bayern should bring kimmich on if he's even on the bench

lol there's another one. lovely stuff.

lewandowski flick heart emoji

welp

ohhh lewa you god

xp damn was hoping just one goal in it for the leg at napoli.

fallen apart since koscielny went off.

lol owen hargreaves thinks losing 3-1 is a decent result. chances of arsenal winning 2-0 at home seem remote to me.

pen surely?

i think i read somewhere that lamela is depressed by the death of his dog and it's hampering his recovery from injury

i read that his injury keeps recurring because he is addicted to video games and sits in certain way while playing that is damaging his hip.

that's a pen for sure

lol assistant 2 yards away doesn't give it.

and another. cue ronan's mate claude on arsnal tv.

waiting for the press to blame this on ospina starting over cech, or ozil.

lmao i only just noticed gibbs is captain

waiting for this game to finish so i can reflect on this tweet in silence

Michael Caley ‏@MC_of_A 19m
I am in love with Real Madrid's normcore brilliance. Their football is like Zac Efron in loose fit dockers.

damn son

left side of arsenal's defence is a shambles

ah proper foul by lamb

sanchez sulking instead of getting to the far post there, don't blame him tbh

embarrasing

OxLOLde-Chamberlain

ian wright bigging him up on MOTD at the weekend iirc

still they'll finish top 4 and do it all again next season at least.

Lol at all these replies, heartening to see ilx still cares :)

5-1 completely logical and just outcome imho.

Crazy to think Lahm will retire after this season, he played a great game.

Whatd I miss

same old

they'll give it a right plucky go in the second leg as ever too

or maybe they wont and that'll be when to fire wenger

Otm. 5-1 groundhog day. Ancelloti's Bayern starting to function properly tho.

Xxp

didn't think bayern were all that tbh

or maybe they wont and that'll be when to fire wenger

No, I think you were right first time, they'll probably win 3-1 @ the Emirates, fam.

wenger won't be fired. ever.

Otm.

LOL @ succession of Arsenal fans saying Ancelotti should be their new manager. Has anyone asked him what he thinks of that idea?

not a lotti amirite?

https://youtu.be/NeM4c7lTeMY

My favourite bit is the part where he rages about his kid being bullied for supporting Arsenal. I mean yeah there might be an indirect link there mate.

https://twitter.com/Reventon_17/status/831980182294650893?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

disappointed sanchez still isnt on aftv yet

i dont want my dogs going kennels and getting cussed blud are u mad

a friend is claiming that claude was taken ill during the match yesternight

blud clot

Silva and Mbappe are pretty good eh

Sane also quite good tbf

This is good so far

yeah good

Oh I miss players who can cross like that

Wwwwwoooooaahhhh

Great call

Amazing

Caballero, son

Mbappe is a superstar

...

Stones...

the combination of a reborn Falcao and all these outrageously skilful pacy young players is pleasing to me

Chris Waddle, "Otamendi, not the quickest. Stones not the quickest... (then remembering he's one of the great white hopes of English football) at times".

one of the best refereeing decisions of all time imo

https://streamable.com/e/ftf6i

Otm

best cos lol @ man city or do you actually think that wasn't a pen, because...

Mbappe is the real deal isn't he? That goal, such confidence.

Wasn't a pen imho. Aguero was already flying. He touched the keepers leg, not the other way around.

lol cudda done with an aguero pen for fanduel £££

but agree no pen dang it

Wasn't a pen.

Mbappe is giving me the real ronaldo feels

Greatest ref

I mean this is how it is done take note all other men that call us refs

hahaha

Amazing #2

Gahhhh

no red? bad pen tho

ffs falcao

Takes some doing giving Caballero his confidence back tbf

What a game tho

knew he'd miss that

Yeah called that well in advance

He waited an absolute eternity.

This game tho otm

willy won't he

Good pun that

Shady caballero

there was a bit of gamesmanship from de Bruyne to put him off too

If this ref can use either hand to card then he's my player of the year

i presumed kdb was warming up for the second half

Mon dieu

Dodgy keeper

Sterling did everything right there

God worse again on replay

i would have had that

hope pep has the gk scouts here

*orgasms*

hahaha

ffs falcao

Ignore this.

I can't just rn

this has been amazing

Ridiculous

Trying to remember a time when the most expensive defender in the world hasn't been pure shite.

Ferdinand?

Centre halves only please we're all gentlemen here

Stones embarrassed by ould fella. Some game this

mangala maybe

No, pure shite iirc

This is relative to the price too btw

Other rules to follow as I disagree with further noms

Cannavaro iirc

He go for more than Ferdinand? Him so.

23m in 2002 to Inter

Ah nm

Ferdinand was 30m around then no?

Yeah something like that. Cant remember a dece after that tho. And you cant possibly count someone like Dani Alves imho.

Na man defenders

Arguably therefore stones neither

Ha. Want this to go to 5-5

Level again. Almost got boring there for a sec

more goals pls

Great finish very me

3-2 in the Atleti game too.

A mere re-run of the Celtic v Man City game

Ref is amaaaaZing

Yeah ref rules. Loved his "What? You want another yellow? Eh?" at Zaba there

Monaco starting to look tired.

(We're at ten yellows now and all were good calls)

Stones. Of course.

Shit game

lol 13 mins of monaco attack should be sweet

let's get this down to 9 v 9

John Terry vibes

There two more goals a peno and a sending off yet in this one

That not fabinhos second yellow no?

throw a quid on a glik red

Smdh

Everyone offside

Ref's getting tired.

Lol or not

The fuck is this batshittery?

i like that goal

except sterling

Good save tbh

4-2 Atleti.

Great save

Caballero the difference in the end ffs

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C5OBiIWWcAYoLvR.jpg:small

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z1kRhiPE0E

Xp lol at Liam refs-a-cunting

more like losster amirite

o rly

the dreaded away goal

enjoying this american-only commentary, kiu

^^^cynical challenge

srs! i didn't even know this was happening until seeing it here

srs! i didn't even know this was happening until seeing it here

j/k!

it's like that bit when The Fiery Furnaces list the European Cup fixtures

Listening to that album right now in fact. Previous track mentioned Seville. This track is the one where they literally undo the curse of the White Sox (they won the World Series for the first time in nearly 90 years the year after it was released, lamenting just how long it had been). It's a great sporting album

one down, three to go

Decent game this. Napoli really going for it.

2 Ramos headers from corners in the space of a few minutes have finished them off now tho

Stupid Koscielny red and penalty have killed the other game too.

Arsenal getting murdered now, aptly enough.

yikes

yeesh. wenger is a good man he doesn't deserve this.

Arsenal haven't deserved him for ten years now

that decision was ridiculous though

Fams and bluds not happy.

It was a shit call alright

How come Arsenal fans can't pronounce Wenger?

The w is too hard for em

no reus, injured again. no gotze, injured again. dortmund looked good in the first leg even though they lost so should go through tonight, but clean sheets aren't really their thing. ousmane dembele has been class this season.

only just seen last night's goals. bayern's last 3 kinda hilarious.

commentator just said dortmund looking to go through to the "elite 8". march madness comes to the champions league!!!

aubameyang! 1-0!

maybe try marking one of the best strikers in the world from the corner.

1-0 Barca too.

by choosing to watch this i'll no doubt end up missing an epic barca comeback or something.

lol xpost

well dembele should have had his 2nd yellow there. luckily martin atkinson bottled it.

game on in catalonia

dortmund kinda losing their way here at the moment.

Bizarre goal for Barca.

Bizzarça

turn over and WTF HAS RAKITIC DONE TO HIS HAIR??

3-0 Barca

This is amazing. PSG have to attack I guess. I can't see Barca scoring six.

Mounting a somewhat more convincing comeback than Arsenal so far.

cavani post!!

psg blow it, monaco win the league, emery sacked...goes to arsenal. would be p good for the gunners.

3-0 Dortmund.

man timing my channel hopping with the same precision of a granit xhaka tackle :(

CAVANI!!!!!

ahh look at emery!

barca goal before say the 80th minute and things could get really crazy

ooh barca going with the arsenal defensive scheme now.

ah luis never change

aubameyang hat-trick.

lol di maria

one of the funniest misses I've ever seen

lovely

6 or 7 mins to get 2 goals

penalty barca!!!!

dive again

good old luis

Entirely possible still

5mins extra

5-1

omg

never a pen in a billion years obvs

i blame di maria

barca putting it in the fackin mixer

lol this is so stupid

Omggggggggggggg

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg

Insane

well, I watched this

starting to think mou has a point about barca and uefa

what a bed-shitting performance by psg

don't really believe what i've just seen tbh

amazing

a bigger bottle performance than either of arsenal's and that's saying something.

di maria will never sleep again

barca goal before say the 80th minute and things could get really crazy

― pandemic, Wednesday, March 8, 2017 9:12 PM (thirty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

8 mins out!!!

Absolutely incredible.

Also I took Barca to qualify at 4/1 when the were two up!

looking frwd to juve trashing them in the next round tbh

neymar was p great tonight

ya except he could have easily been sent off

That free kick!

Jaysus wha

yeah the free kick was incredible, had to be perfect

that free kick was the best ive seen

and ive seen loads

i wonder what the odds were on this when psg scored

Neymar goal
Neymar penalty
Neymar assist

In the space of six, seven mins. Incredible.

lol at the bt sports guys going nuts

I love football

which of local garda or rtc will be the first to denounce this as a lame narrative and/or a victory for evil

Why are men angry? [Started by BIG CHARLIE aka the sheendriver (San Te) in March 2011, last updated fifteen minutes ago by hhoffman on I Love Everything] 19 new answers

so beautiflol

Both penalties weren't penalties tbh. Yet it doesn't matter. PSG bottled it.

Just saw the highlights of BVB vs Benfica. That Dembele is pretty something.

nah the 1st one was a defo pen

every dodgy pen is usually a pen. every dodgy comeback is usually a fix. PSG: nobody's fault but mine

Second penalty was a penalty

I'm a PSG supporter. Tonight is the night I give up on football I think. Un-fucking-believable. Never seen a team bottling it so hard and so spectacularly. I can't see that team / management / owners ever recover from this.

Feeling u man. Di Maria deserved a pen in the second half as well. Commiserations.

There have been 185 4-0 first legs in European football and till today no team managed to come back from that. Crazy.

Barca played open enough that a confident PSG should've had them more than once on the break. No mystery, just mentality

No mystery indeed. PSG strangely terrified at the beginning of the game, like they had lost any confidence that they could play at Barca's level. The three goals in the last 8 minutes were in a way more typical of a team bottling it completely because of pure fear.

the freekick definitely left them with brown shorts. They just didn't believe again after that.

Wes Morgan!

Not sure I can see them keeping a clean sheet in the second half.

Two nil!

Nasri sent off after some good honest English football from Jamie Vardy.

didn't Vardy dive for the free kick leading to their first goal?

wonder what Vardy said to him...

bob mortimer‏Verified account @RealBobMortimer 49s50 seconds ago

Another quick cheat there... And it's a sending off #ModernFootball

trenchant Bob

lol

forgive Bob Mortimer anything for the Athletico Mince podcast

ooooh extra time then?

Ah fuck it.

Souness reliving some ghosts of seasons past by dismissing the leicester players for turning on ranieri

lol bet so much on seville getting through before the first leg, Craig Shakespeare 4 Barcelona right

This should be interesting. 1-0 Monaco.

Torn between election night and Monaco vs City

city getting battered but they'll still get a couple of one-on-ones with the keeper before half-time.

could be another 8 goal thriller, no team has a clue how to defend

Two!

very nice

well well

Harsh assessment on Stones by Dunphy

https://www.facebook.com/rtesoccer/videos/1275668359187486/

Falcao had an indifferent spell in the Leinster Senior League tbf

Monaco utterly hopeless in the 2nd half.

balls

lololololol

ok n/m i meant to say "nice"

A free header ffs city

Thank fuck those wankers are out.

that was fun

PEP OUT

Well, why not?

some fun games in that round of 16

I like man city well enough but Monaco were beautiful to watch in that first half. Rio Ferdinand saying that an English team shouldn't concede a goal from a set piece against this sort of team was bizarre. What? A team taller and stronger than them?

Think I'll dream of an LFC team with either Mendy or Alex Sandro at left back.

goal didn't have anything to do with height or strength but

Dunphy completely lost the plot over it though. Start ranting about how Newcastle or Brighton would never have conceded like that. Also that Rafa would sort this City defence out

Monaco were beautiful to watch in that first half.

Amen, but I'll also say that they returned to that form as soon as City got that goal. Great game.

Dunphy completely lost the plot over it though. Start ranting about how Newcastle or Brighton would never have conceded like that. Also that Rafa would sort this City defence out

― Number None, Wednesday, March 15, 2017 3:48 PM (fifteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god love him

Yeah Dunphy went over the top as per. All the same I'm thinking Pep is probably a spoofer

the Stones abuse got a bit creepy by the end tbh

Bayern Real and Barca Juve should be pretty tasty

dortmund monaco should be entertaining too, lots of goals to be expected

hi jibe! how's fekir been since coming back from his major injury this season? saw the sweet goal he scored in the first leg vs roma and was encouraged. both legs of the roma tie were really fun to watch.

hi ! fékir hasn't been great since coming back, mostly ok-ish with occasional flashes of genius. tbh lyon isn't really being helped by the coach, who mostly looks like he doesn't really know what he's doing... yet for some reason here they are in the qf of the europa league. v much looking forward to the matches against besiktas

i've only watched a few lyon games this year though, mostly going by what iread here and there

Reports of an explosion in front of the Borussia Dortmund bus, one player taken to hospital.

Yes, wtf?

Marc Bartra taken to hospital. Appears to have been a firecracker which shattered a window injuring his arm?

Relax, pandemic will be here any second with a proposed Bartra-less formation

Three explosions went off near the bus. The game's off.

Delayed til tomorrow apparently? Which is convenient, because I couldn't decide which one to watch

Who's putting up all those Monaco fans tonight then?

They'll have spent their life savings on getting there the poor lambs

Sweet goal.

And again.

fun game. the finish for the second was pretty authoritative

getting slightly peeved by the commentators no-selling the two goal deficit with an airy "well look what happened to PSG!" as if this Juve team didn't have the greatest defensive unit of the decade

^^ that sure would annoy me, too.

Barca defense is a shambles.

And another.

Juventus !

dortmund v monaco followed by bayern v real is a p sweet double bill.

watch fackin leicester you slaaag

no mendy :(

dortmund have been crap whenever i've seen them play a back 3 under tuchel. actually they may have played 3 at the back when they beat bayern 1-0 but that was a weirdly scrappy game.

trying to remember the last time marco reus played 80% of a season, seems like it's been a long time.

softish pen for monaco. wide!!

flukey goal

great chance for kagawa, finished like he was still playing for utd

Social media videos from Plaza Mayor, where Leicester fans had been told they could gather, show a group of police being targeted with missiles and fans chanting "Gibraltar is ours".

the fairytale continues

hard to assess how tuchel's done this season, they're miles behind bayern despite buying some v good players, then again they had to sell 3 of their best 5 players which is impossible to overcome

diving header og from bender. 0-2

would have struggled with monaco over 2 legs anyway but not sure how i'd be the day after someone tried to kill me tbh.

dortmund's defending so last ditch

not sure how i'd be the day after someone tried to kill me tbh.

― pandemic, Wednesday, 12 April 2017 18:21 Bookmark

diving away from an phantom explosive makes more sense than whatever tf bender was thinking for that og

Think it's a disgrace they had to play today. Tuchel has said he'd rather not and would've liked more time. Surely it could have waited a week.

think both clubs agreed their schedule couldn't allow that to happen

Meh.

is this what palace - arsenal was like monday night? pass, pass, pass lose ball, dangerous counter attack. wide CB's getting pulled all over the shop by mbappe and falcao.

monaco going for the league and dortmund for 4th doubt either wanted to jam a game in that might mean playing on 1 or 2 days rest. dortmund in german cup semi as well.

Yeah no, I know. It's just a shame.

looking at that sven bender o.g if he didn't head it he was going to handball it! laughable

even if dortmund were unperturbed this wouldve been a fairly predictable scoreline no?

can see why they don't love tuchel

pulisic and sahin on. have no idea who's joining ginter and sokratis at the back, if anyone.

definitely flaky under tuchel esp. when playing 3 at the back but they haven't lost at home for nigh on 2 years so i'd have fancied a score draw tonight at least tbh.

but wouldn't have fancied them in monaco, no.

you can kinda tell why tuchel and pep have such a mutual love in though.

like he did a terrific job at mainz and in year one at dortmund, the improvement in form of mkhitaryan, gundogan back to his best etc but still give me allegri any day of the week.

this is more like it since pulisic came on

much more of this from him and lfc will have to accept they can't afford him and settle on spunking £30m on the ox.

do monaco not do 2nd halfs or what?

game on almost

wtf was sokratis doing on the rw there? btw expecting him to get a red card when monaco break on them this half.

sahin has made a difference since he came on. ah i remember the days when i used to love him and was so excited when he came to liverpool...

well that was an obvious 2nd yellow ignored by the ref.

falcao on utd/chelsea vintage there, phew.

some finish that from mbappe.

Mbappe surely playing in the PL next season right?

Real Madrid might have something to say about that.

Can still get 20/1 on Jardim as next Arsenal manager.

ooooh shinji

what odds allegri? especially if juve win the CL this season.

tuchel's stupid over long coat makes him the favourite for the arsenal job surely?

pulisic reaching navas levels of final ball unfortunately.

ah well. p cool 2nd half.

don't think i've seen madrid play this season?? modric/kroos/casemiro vs alonso/thiago/vidal should be interesting.

The defending in champions league was never as poor

generally i'd except atleti and juve from that.

oof excellent header from benzema

wow neuer got his fingertips to that

i hadn't really considered it but a little amazing that a team as rich as bayern happily goes into and through an entire season with only 2 CF's in the entire squad, one of which is muller who is a kinda hybrid CF.

oof vidal bullet header!

Atleti penalty.

Scored.

9 more of those please

oh will you just shut up

Bad call on that penalty. Clearly outside the box.

I KNOW GERMAN FOOTBALL I'M A FOOTBALL EXPERT LOOK AT ME WOW DID YOU SEE THAT BORUSSIA MONCHENGLADBACH HAVE A DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER WITH A SWEET LEFT PEG WOW NICE FROM THE BAYERN WUNDERKIND THERE HE JUST PICKED HIS NOSE

Are Bale and Ornadlo even playing? Bayern ruling this (though Lewa's absence is noticable)

Vidal you twat lol

Vidal's penalty might just have hit BVB's bus it was that high over the bar

too soon

I KNOW GERMAN FOOTBALL I'M A FOOTBALL EXPERT LOOK AT ME WOW DID YOU SEE THAT BORUSSIA MONCHENGLADBACH HAVE A DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER WITH A SWEET LEFT PEG WOW NICE FROM THE BAYERN WUNDERKIND THERE HE JUST PICKED HIS NOSE

this is wildly disproportionate - give it a rest, not just this post either. calm down.

Not sure why '9 more please' prompted that.

vintage torres... then... other vintage torres

Don't get it either. People on a msg board know more about German football than LJ, which causes LJ to explode with rage? Anyway idc.

So Ronaldo is playing after all. Suddenly not so sure BM will walk this...

Oh dear... Red card for Martinez.

Boy did I pick the wrong night for my Unibet bonus dough riding on a BM win :-/

Could be worse. I bet on Leicester to score.

Griezmann's pen won me 3 quid. There's that, but BM winning is the big one tonight.

I can see LCFC sneaking in a goal once they're 3 or 4-0 behind tbh.

doesn't look like any more goals in it tbh. or certainly not many more. imo.

LJ dyou wanna explain that was an elaborate prank before ilf bans you or what

p much the first time, or maybe second at most, that i've ever flagged a post

:(

sorry that was total end-of-long-day arsehole move, feel v bad that pandemic didn't come back either, was completely misjudged, no need to take one's grumpiness out on someone for being enthusiastic and knowledgeable, don't want to alienate ppl and ruin ilx further, please pandemic if you're reading, come back, i won't snipe again, ur sports knowledge is actually p useful to have around

& that's not even for me to say - just do your thing and i won't be a dick, promise. i don't even dislike you. i just lost the plot.

Well after that rather pregnant pause

I don't believe that ilf is a safe space or any of that shit but at the same time i think we've got a fairly nice vibe in here that allows for us to abuse lfc fans without the rage bleeding out into the rest of ile and for ppl to interact around football where they wouldn't normally be able to pass each other without hissing in a politics thread or etc

The above isn't even related in any way i can define but seriously that episode above is fuckin ridiculous. Your days are no longer than anyone elses but regardless there wasn't actually any reason whatsoever for that rather typically self indulgent attack and frankly rather typically self indulgent apology.

Pandemic if u dont login and tell me who spurs should sign to replace janssen by midday Dublin time I'm fping lj oh yeah i said it. I might even launch one of my famous ban campaigns and i warn u I've a p good success rate (in fairness most have been rooneyesque tapins)

have felt over the past couple of years that bas dost is the perfect striker to lose form for spurs

midday Dublin time

I thought we'd sorted this "time" thing out.

Didn't i just beg for ile beef not to be taken on to the pitch ffs

ice cold from nxd btw

frankly rather typically self indulgent apology.

You noticed too. But today is another day.

Booming post deems. Hope Pandemic isn't disheartened, he's a v enjoyable and knowledgeable ilf assett imho.

have felt over the past couple of years that bas dost is the perfect striker to lose form for spurs

Ya this is ice cold but rings true. I have no idea what happened to Jansen other than that he's just not cut out for the pl? The gap between Eredivisie and PL is getting too big. See Depay, Jansen, Afonso Alves lol. The Dutchies who do get along (Wijnaldum best recent example) all had a stop at a lesser team before going to he big boys.

Dost, though: I'd take a gamble if I were Spurs. He was good at Wolfsburg, and is killing it in Portugal rn.

Ach Portugal I'm not over helder postiga yet

It'd be interesting to see Anthony Modeste back in the PL. He has been phenomenal this season and i am not sure Koln will be able to hold on to him.

On 8 August 2013 Postiga joined Valencia CF for a fee of £2.6 million replacing Tottenham bound Roberto Sold- ah stop, stop I'm already dead

Craig Shakespeare all over your *sound of clock breaking*

Lewa scores a penalty.

ah bollocks Cron

Ronaldo scores and Ramos knocks in a terrible OG so all square.

oh lol excellent

LOL Ramos

Harsh red.

Or second yellow.

welp

welp

think he was offside there too...

geezum crow lady

that second yellow wasn't even a foul

Dembele and Pulisic both on the bench,

i've the afternoon off and the bar is only showing the dang barca/juve game, which i suspect is the least interesting of the two games

Took Mbappe three minutes to score.

Falcao!

Dortmund awful at the back.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/apr/21/dortmund-bus-attack-suspect-arrested-as-police-allege-share-dealing-plot?CMP=share_btn_tw

A man has been arrested for the Dortmund bus bombing - apparently motivated by a plot to short their shares.

dammit these terrorists are getting more devious

That's p bizarre

worst die hard sequel yet

that seems to be the most convoluted way of making a quick buck

Real v Atletico
Monaco v Juventus

Juve - Atletico final should be good

still feel shitty + want pandemic back, both for my conscience and for ilf

even if there are no german teams left ;)

atletico excite me the least out the teams left here i guess, hope monaco can edge each game

monaco's subsequent performance makes me feel a little less bad about spurs, would love them to do it

yeah, def pulling for monaco at this point

Have a lot of sympathy for both Monaco and Juve.

EL fixtures:

Ajax v Lyon
Celta v ManU

Ajax v Celta would be sweet.

this is smooth and brutal pressure from rm

who's the fellow wearing 7, pretty good player

that was v v unreal like

Ajax seem to be punishing Lyon atm, 4-1 up.

matthijs de ligts does it take to get to the centre forward
oh, oh

That's that then.

wooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooooooooooooo

f

2-0 to atletico, tasty

:[

the savic defectives

― The term “hipster racism” from Carmen Van Kerckhove at Racialicious (nakhchivan), Sunday, 22 January 2012

gahhh for some incomprehensible reason the place has chosen to show the frikkin arsenal/southampton game instead

Looool. Ajax get two goals slapped around their heads in 1 minute, twice Lacazette. Game v much on.

Pandemic, if you are reading, please celebrate Lyon's resurrection with me

Celta equalizer. Almsot immediately the goalscorer and Bailly are sent off. All the while Rooney standing at the side of the pitch waiting to come on, then Mourinho sends on Smalling instead.

6 minutes added time. Come on you Celts.

Thought Rooney was already on but I don't know wtf was happening really in those few minutes - chaos

You're right, Rooney is on.

Ajax through the eye of the needle merde

Guidetti, fucking useless cunt.

lol jesus christ

absolutely shameful stuff from Mourinho tonight

gonna be even worse in the final without Bailly too

Guidetti you tool

Was it guidetti that was rolling round on the floor holding his face faking injury after that whole big incident earlier? If so then I'm even more glad he missed that chance tbh

did guidetti not put the ball in the netty?

I kept thinking the commentator was saying Cadete too :-O

Whilst it would be amusing to see United lose in the final, is it better for the coefficient thing (that determines how many Premier League teams enter the Champions​ League) if they win?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okMN4A6FnA8

When you fart BT graphics: pic.twitter.com/VW5EMBDwwr

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) May 24, 2017

should've known noone here prob watches this lol

time to rip ajax to shreds i say

i would love it if ajax wins this tbh

Ajax have been terrible but Utd are just hoofing it at every opportunity

Mkhitaryan looks like he has ME or something

My hate for Ajax is well documented, but even I have to agree they have been playing really fresh, attacking football this season. Football wise, it would be nice. I'm not hugely invested either way (and I say that as a ManU "fan", but ehh everything about them is terrible under Mou)

i was gonna watch it until i found out BT have taken their channel off Freeview

I'd like an ajax win too but the Manchester bus is a large and well organised one now that it is a goal to the good.

free BT live stream on youtube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9sH2U_8QQ4

xp

Noodle it's free on YouTube

I really wouldn't bother as a neutral

Flukey goal and hang on for the next 75 minutes, it's inspiring stuff. Ajax are, kind of, not very good though.

Otm, it's a bore so far. Ajax can't, ManU won't.

yeah, i'd have it on the TV in the background but i'm not turning off Football Manager just to watch the livestream

That's the spirit :D

Too easy. Happy for Mhiki

Game over. Unfortunately I'm stuck in a pub with some London Reds, generally some of the most obnoxious fans in world football. Another thing, tonight I'm wearing a Dutch Army combat jacket, completely inadvertently, but thankfully none of these twunts know what the Dutch flag looks like.

Jolly Dutchman in pub, "10 minutesh to go, we musht shcore two goalsh".

Why a Dutch army jacket tho? It certainly can't be because it's a good army iirc

What do we reckon?

a) A humiliating substitution of bringing Roo in the 91st minute?
b) Not bring him in, keep him out of the bus, never heard of ever again

It's a nice jacket!

lol ok, 89th minute is close enough

what a moment for twp

xp I believe you Tom!

xxp lmao

Hardly a 26th minute Guard of Honour.

Jolly Dutchman trying a congratulations with London Reds - completely blanked

huzzah

fuck united, fuck every united fan, fuck every trite media cocksucker peddling this ghoulish official busby babe tragedy noodle partner narrative tonight

.. oh... oh... he's trying again, he's tried the friendly slap on the back this time... gets some acknowledgment.

.. an especially drunk London Red has just spilled his beer down the Jolly Dutchman's trousers. He is still jolly.

... now loudly talking to someone else about how he is "... shurprished to find Mancheshter United fansh from London."

... Ajax go up to collect their runners-up medals, the Jolly Dutchman to the London Reds, "Applaud them please!". Some do.

There is something especially horrible about Cockney Man Utd fans.

The dressing room.
"Why don't City fuck off home" 😂pic.twitter.com/qHoehSYrFc

— @ManUtd_HQ 🔴 (@ManUtd_HQ) May 24, 2017

sorry that'll teach me for looking at twitter at 7am

still these jose post match comments are nice though eh

rtc otm. BT last night was milking it horrendously. "The biggest game of the season, nothing could be bigger for all of us here in the studio" or "the goal the whole country wanted to see" etc. Sport has almost nothing to do with an atrocity like the bombing this week.

It was fairly grotesque, yeah. Not really the club's fault though

football chant being abusive towards local rivals / jesse lingard is world's highest earning twelve year old shocker, but yes, not very classy really. still isn't even the most embarrassing part of the evening though - that was scowling zlatan pushing rojo out of his selfie with the trophy, then posing in front of the 'stay and shag my wife' banner.

terrible football too - win a scrappy early goal, then defend the lead like a bunch of teens trying to keep zombies out of the cabin

It wasn't great, no, but the much vaunted Ajax side were absolutely rubbish

not very effective zombies it's true

not like yer southamptons or whatever

those two sanchez tackles though, wow

Sanchez was impressive but he did literally push Lingard over when he broke through. I actually thought De Ligt looked the better defender

can't read his name without getting groove in is the heart stuck in my head

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZ1r1ZOTo_8

twat

"There are many poets in football, but poets, they don't win many titles [...] The kids were amazing, with the help they gave us in the last match... we managed to finish with some dignity, which is important in this club..."

The Zlatan thing is pretty funny tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

mourinho was so obviously knackered and ready for the beach, making it clear how much he's hated this season

itll all be fine by august

when we get spanked 5-0 by cron & his chums in the super cup

The Zlatan thing is pretty funny tbh

sorry, it's my inner keano being triggered by the bantz

Sanchez was impressive but he did literally push Lingard over when he broke through. I actually thought De Ligt looked the better defender

― Number None, Thursday, May 25, 2017 7:58 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

can't read his name without getting groove in is the heart stuck in my head

― del esdichado (NickB), Thursday, May 25, 2017 8:04 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Heh. The BT commentator repeatedly pronounced his first name as Matísse, which I thought was a nice touch. De Ligt (17) is an amazing talent and I think he did well last night. Ajax were disappointingly rubbish. Playing both Traoré and Younes more or less set this up, as both excel in missing opportunities.

The Zlatan thing annoyed me, but not as much as BT dragging the terror attack into it. I'm sure those who lost a loved one will feel way better when they can see Mou lifting a fucking trophy in the city tomorrow.

Noodle Vague:
i was gonna watch it until i found out BT have taken their channel off Freeview

Really? Hasn't it just switched to 115 this season (in HD?). Does that mean you can't see it? Supposedly both this and CL final are on that Freeview HD channel. I saw the match in a pub in Fitzrovia; I never get home for more than the last 20min of a 7:45 k/o these days :/

This is driving me nuts, Sky keep saying Cardiff is not only the smallest city to host a Champions League final but that it is by far the smallest city to host a Champions League final - it was repeated three times in the report I just watched. The population of Cardiff is 341,000, the population of Gelsenkirchen is 260,368.

very very excited for this. forzaaaaa Juve

Got a good BT stream up and running. Forza Juve indeed.

Oh fuck off.

Fuck everything

whaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Omg

LOLz get it up ye, Cron

:D

Ooh la la!

disappointed when either team scores. what a festival of football

LOLz get it up ye, Cron x2

ok those were two of the most beautiful goals i've ever seen and they've both come in the first 20 mins of a CL final!

Lol Tom

Ramos surely not playing 90 mins here tonight

tear in my eye imagining how amazing that goal wouldve been without dour cunt bt sport commentary acting like mandz scuffed it and the keeper went with the wrong hand etc

idk I feel like there was an element of hit and hope to it

the build up was class though

Madrid are so fucking insufferable to watch. Every single decision against them and it's shenanigans. I would've sent off five of them already.

Rtc: commentary is dire indeed.

ref is having a mare tbf

the despicable ian darke and hargreaves are only on the youtube stream apparently?

Oh ay?

Tbh goalies feet a disgrace for huge goal

"Tony Cruise"

Was that Harvey Keitel in an effing car insurance commercial? Is nothing sacred etc

yeah the bt sport commentators on my stream had nothing but effusive praise for the goal