"We've got bucketfuls of agents throwing players at us. We'll trawl through it." - The PL/CL/EL/world off-season transfer thread '17-'18

Might as well kick this one off now that there's a holy trinity of ilx footblols (JT, Arry 'n Brum) all in one report:

John Terry: Birmingham City offer ex-Chelsea & England captain contract

that's one less to worry about

hoping Fosun decide to act like proper entitled billionaires and bring us Assombalonga

Only just got over the shock we have smashed our humble transfer record into pieces + paid £8m for Mooy and now we are trying to raid FC candy crush for Ince (7.2m). I quite like Ince as a player, but there is a bad smell around that squad of overpaid flops.

I am enjoying us being the predatory dick club for once tho. In your fucking face Candy Crush!

FC candy crush :D

Meanwhile:
- Ajax' captain Klaassen supposedly being scooped up by Everton for 25m or so
- Can't help but feel ManU's signings are either not good enough (Lindelöf) or both not good enough and way too expensive (Morata). He's alright but can he do it on a rainy Tuesday night etc. Just like previous season no idea what Mou wants, how he wants to play etc.

wait, the Carabao Cup ????

lmao

The Carabao Cup first round draw, the first event for the new sponsor of the League Cup, descended into farce when its live Facebook video commenced with no sound and then crashed immediately after the first club, Birmingham City, were drawn out of the hat.

This has to go down as one of the most embarrassing sponsorship launches in living memory.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2017/06/16/league-cup-first-round-draw-live-thailand-carabao-cup-ties/

😡 When your Sunday League manager WhatApps the group saying you have to play a double header... #CarabaoCup pic.twitter.com/FTl8jUG3at

— The Sportsman (@TheSportsman) June 16, 2017

Alves to Manchester City looks like it might happen, which in turn probably makes it more likely Walker stays at Spurs.

Would be good to have Pandemic's view on the Gnabry to Munich - Costa to Juve chain.

It seems like it would be a really good signing. I thought Alves kind of lost his spark but his move to Juve did him a world of good, he had a great season. Didn't City express they want to get two left and two right backs though (Alves, Walker, Mendy, Bertrand)?

Echoing your sentiment on Pandemic; sadly, he's still MIA.

Tired already of Cron dominating the transfer news cuz he's "upset" and then staying at Madrid anyway. I need some good Terry to Brum news tbh.

Mendes is gonna bring Cron to Wolves, banking on it

he can still do a job at our level imo

Wouldn't wish that on your team tbh.

Yes I hate is guts, but if I set that aside for a mo', and he truly is thinking of leaving Team Franco, I would genuinely like to see him at PSG. Going back to ManU can only end in tears tbh. PSG seems a very good fit. Though of course he's not going anywhere, and my dream of him disappearing forever into China, drowning in the Yangtze because his pockets are too full of yen, is probably dead.

Palace apparently in for Frank de Boer as new manager. Good luck with that.

Salah to Liverpool seems like an exciting prospect tbh.

How on earth is Xherdan Shaqiri still only 25?

Spurs are being strongly linked with Matías Vecino of Fiorentina - who is a fairly solid DM iirc.

rumours going around that liverpool might go back in for vvd, or he might put in a transfer request. seems a risky enough game, they'd prob have to pay an extra wedge of money to stop southampton reporting them. but if he decides he wants to leave maybe there's a chance.

some talk of aubameyang too but i can't see that happening.

Wouldn't it be lovely to see a player like that opt for first team at lfc or spurs rather than higher salary and bench at Madrid or wherever

Don't subscribe as a rule to complaints about modern game but the waste of talent in the top squads irks

most important off-season development: neymar's new do

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/06/23/11/41A87D4100000578-0-image-a-62_1498213944215.jpg

he must be the youngest guy yet to qualify for Show me some men who look like old lesbians!

http://i.imgur.com/ErvvCV6.jpg

someone missed the u20 world cup

We just signed a Porto player who looks like Belguim's own Grant Holt and has a degree in civil engineering. We are already planning for the Championship '18-'19. Nah like fuck .. we have also allegedly a very sexy incoming signing: Mounie from Montpellier for £11.5 m, and we beat off West Ham for his signature.

beatin off ham

well some of us are getting a bit carried away at the moment, but hopefully practising some tasteful restraint amidst the excitement of uncharted territory :p

Matic

really

Really expensive but I mean what's even expensive anymore

Ian Stringer‏ @StringerSport 5h
Would you be happy for #LCFC to pay £40m for Gylfi Sigurdsson? (merely a question, as ever, I know nothing)

big lee lee‏ @tubbytriathlete 5h
Replying to @StringerSport
On the basis we paid around 46m for Musa and Slimani then it's a huge yes compared to them its massive value for money

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/jun/29/steven-caulker-mental-illness-addictions-gambling-drinking-qpr

good to read this and get a little taste of the misery that runs through football

Just reading this. A great read. I'd always wondered why this guy didn't make it, because he was a genuinely exciting prospect when he broke through

"Money covers the cracks. It can be evil. It prolongs the agony."

Otm. Very good story, good for him to speak up. Hope he'll find a good club.

i mentioned this on the reading thread but has anyone read "living on the volcano" by michael calvin? it's a series of interviews with managerial football men from up and down the leagues. like sean derry, ian holloway, brendan rodgers, many others. written about 2015 i think. it plumbs a lot of the same depths and maybe is even darker in parts than the caulker article above. martin ling had a long stint of electroshock therapy to get over delusions and depression after getting sacked from a job. having said that it's also got some of the most ridiculous "wisdom of gaffers" speak i've ever read.

the book generally takes you down the well-travelled path of clubs gone mad, crazy chairman, no respect for the manger, all managers needing more time etc etc, but really as i read it it just tends to confirm my feeling that managers are the biggest fucking frauds in the game. the training, at least in the uk, seems to be dire, many of them still gravitate to their jobs based on playing careers despite there being barely any provable link between success in one and the other. they make a shit ton of money despite failing repeatedly and in absence of any skills they try whatever they can, blindly latching onto ideas from other sports or areas of life like enchanted rabbits' feet. it's like the only way they can survive the pressure, which i accept is extreme, is by defying logic and sense and rationality for huge portions of their working lives. 95 per cent of them fail and 2 or 3 per cent are a mixed bag, xanaxing themselves with bizarre narratives about past jobs etc.

if i had to pick one quote that sums up the illogical and mad philosophies of these poor bastards, it'd be from joe dunne, a manager i'd never heard of before who had a few months at colchester before getting sacked:

"top managers adapt and move, i like to think i'm a forward-thinking young manager, but some people, in their ignorance, will argue i can't be, because i've operated in the bottom half of league one. we have to get them to open their minds a bit more. don't judge people based on who or what they are, or where they've been."

like i think we need a new philosophy about managers in the uk - we shouldn't be discussing how often they get sacked, we should be discussing how often they get hired.

The last brit manager we had used to give the players a day off training while he went back down London every saturday night. Before every game he would talk up the opposition in terms of how much they pay their players and how impossible it is to compete with them. After he had talked himself out of a job and bored the team through 5 wins in 28 or something we got a German manager and everything was fucking great, The End!

I should have said Everything changed baby, everything changed.

Portuguese media claiming we've agreed a deal for Ruben Neves, i am not gonna stop grinning until August if this is true

Our transfer action has been so headspinningly sexy in the last 48 hours, it is too much to process. Some Danish int keeper, Tom Ince, Steve Mounie, Mooy, Oliver Burke 4 times 10 mill players and these aren't fanciful rumours, but actually really happening as I type! Brighton fans getting jealous that we have stole their "progressive-club" cache and getting all the condescending attention they feel should be going their way. The chairman trolling bitter Leeds Utd fans with commercial department's The Yorkshire Club branding, which I used to think was nauseating as well tbh - but now it has become useful!

.. and the Derby fans are naturally inconsolable that we have nicked their most consistent and creative player, nice karmic fuck-you revenge for when they tapped up Butterfield 2 games into the season.

You are going to be a valuable addition to the EPL threads imo calz

We've frankly needed a bit of spice, "that type of poster"

I'm a self-confessed shit poster tbh. You probably need Nachk back more than a artless monosyllabic fule like me!

I was talking to a taxi driver t'other day and explaining I could have actually got a free carer's season ticket this season but declined because the full capacity noise of prem fixtures will be too much for the kid. You fucking idiot, you could have sold it to me! was his response. I've definitely missed a trick there!

OMFG NEVES IS GONNA HAPPEN

"i am not gonna stop grinning until August if this is true"

I am totally down with £10m+ spends on shit hot players and the feelgood factor it brings these days, NV. But have never experienced the horror of such a big money signing turning out totally dud yet!

anything's possible but the sheer unbelievability of nipping in ahead of the Prem teams and buying a lad this highly rated is worth a long honeymoon anyhow

Some on our lot seem to think cos we have signed a striker who scored only one less goal than Mbappe in Ligue 1 last season, then QED He deffo as good as Mbappe! We top 6!

it's nice when your board has the vision and guts to actually invest properly for the Prem. now you just need to offload Nakhi to some promotion-hungry Champo team *cough*

there is talk that Burnley want him as a replacement for when Gray (another of yours that got away) is sold. He is a really tidy player is Nakhi, but only has a year left on his contract and has not committed previously to remaining here, so his exit might be inevitable. I'd personally rather see him stay tbh.

Neves to Wolves is a Mascherano & Tevez to West Ham reboot.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻📞Welcome JT to Birmingham city...Aston Villa🌈!#UTV! @AVFCOfficial Announcement shortly!

— Dr. Tony Xia (@Dr_TonyXia) July 3, 2017

I offered my commiserations on t'other thread, Windsor. At least I'm assuming you aren't quite feeling those hand-clap emoticons today!

dear Santa please can we have Vincent Aboubakar and i promise not to ask for anything at christmas

and Willy Boly too apparently! i wholeheartedly endorse this bizarre turn of events

thanks calz. tooooooo many cretins on my fb feed talking about how this is gonna be just the spur we need to fire us towards promotion. i'm pretty much in it for the lolz at this point

25m for Micheal Keane to Everton... They're really spending all the money they haven't got from Lukaku's transfer yet aren't they?

Was gonna try and say something at least half thought through about a squad containing so many new signings and dealing with that prob not being Koeman's strength, but fortunately realized just in time stuff like that doesn't matter any more nowadays *ascii shrug*

Everton bought by Megabucks owners lately tho

Frankly quite chuffed to see them go for it and get plenty of decent not spectacular business done so early. The figures are the figures #shrug #2017

I'm fine with them going for it, no mistake, just don't think Koeman is good at making a cohesive team of it in a very short time. But then, that doesn't matter anymore. If he ends in sixth place: praise be. If he stinks: fired.

"I was lucky enough to play with some of the best players in the world and managed to win the odd trophy but the important thing now is that I’m very happy to be signing for Everton.”

I like Sandro already.

Also if Carragher thinks that Michael Keane wouldn't get in the current Liverpool XI then he's dumber than Klopp's hat.

“Playing against Chelsea just doesn’t sit right with me, to be honest,” said Terry.

“Whether that’s different in a year’s time, I don’t know. The raw emotion of leaving the club after so long there just didn’t sit right with me."

If Villa do go up this season, they might need to consult with the 37 yr old talisman who heroically carried them to promotion on his 60 grand a week knackered old jitters, if he has yet worked through his raw emotions and is ready to play against his old club:p

I feel a third round FA Cup clash is on the cards

https://epeak.info/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/steve-bruce-wooed-john-terry-by-text-heres-what-the-aston-villa-boss-wrote-750x430.jpg

"Steve Bruce wooed John Terry by text – here's what the Aston Villa boss wrote"

No! not clicking any further!

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/06/12/16/415DC9EC00000578-0-image-a-39_1497283105247.jpg

EBJT's hard nipples. Thanks Calzino :-(

It looks like Brucie is having problems with them as well!

The Sun say Everton are signing Rooney AND Giroud lol

Bruce is completely smitten, off into dreamland, mistakenly thinking this signing will lift the summation of his managerial career, his legacy, from dull so-so mediocrity to somewhat ok.
Meanwhile EBJT is like: "Is that where you want my wife and kids to sit on a Tuesday night against Stoke? For real? Needs some work, Steve, really needs some work." And hard nipples, sadly.

xp lol

Giroo

jesus, I thought Rooney to Everton was a joke rumour. More like Woeman, innit?

Bruce a mere patsy in Dr Tony Xia's latest supervillain scheme, which i would hope involves luring JT into the secret lab under Bodymoor Heath so that his brain can be transplanted into a healthier host. James Bree or something

I'm not sure who Rooney to Everton for free triggering Barkley to Spurs for north of £40m would work out worse for, tbh.

Lots of questions about Wayne Rooney back to Everton. Is he a better option than Arouna Kone & Enner Valencia? Definitely.

— Phil McNulty (@philmcnulty) July 4, 2017

Lmao.

Just when I needed a pick me up

what the fuck is wrong with these people?

liability
lʌɪəˈbɪlɪti/Submit
noun
1.
the state of being legally responsible for something.
"once you contact the card protection scheme your liability for any loss ends"
synonyms: accountability, responsibility, legal responsibility, answerability; More
2.
a person or thing whose presence or behaviour is likely to put one at a disadvantage.
"she said the party had become a liability to green politics"
synonyms: hindrance, encumbrance, burden, handicap, nuisance, inconvenience; More

Tick

Tick

Thick as fuck

We've finally got the striker Mounie for 11.5 mill, probably about the most wowsome signing in our history. There were lots of rumours someone else had hijacked the deal, but it turns out the announcement was delayed because he was attending the Montpelier chairman's (Louis Nicollin) funeral. I seem remember a piece in WSC about the late chairman when Montpelier won ligue 1 about 10 years back. And he was a wealthy scrap merchant with rep for being a loudmouthed bigot, or maybe a "colourful character" for French people who like old bigots.

"I don't care about the other, these big teams, Huddersfield is a big team".

I like the cut of his jib already.

HTFC already looking like they'll bring value imo

I don't there is any danger of sanctions for not spending enough, because there are more to come!

*think

From what I've seen of Mounie, he will bring the aerial presence we have have completely lacked last season and much more.

say what you like about rooney, he definitely is white and english.

I've never had a doubt in my head at any stage in his United career that the only team Rooney would leave them for was Everton.

Well his contract kinda locked that down

Novel approach for Everton to chase someone else's bad money with their good tho

i guess sunderland had already been relegated

Yeah, to his fucking level

this thread's just getting good now but don't think we've gone deep enough into the terry/bruce homoeroticism.

Terry explained: “Honestly, the way Steve dealt with me as a person. Giving me a lot of time and constant texting reminders, saying: 'I want you, I'll give you time. But just to let you know I'm here, thinking about you. I'd love to see you at our place next season.'

“And those things as a player made me wake up and go: 'Cor, he wants me.'

I read that yesterday, showered, moved on with my life and I'll thank you to respect the progress I've made and presume we're all trying to make

"i want you. i'll give you time. but just to let you know, i'm here, thinking about you..."

bruce is a good fit for a lurking, creepy, 80s soul figure in the lionel richie "hello" mould.

Ah there was serious talk of Man City at one stage, and there was the lingering possibility that Moyes/Woodward would not hand him a ridiculous bumper contract as he started to obviously wane. But he was always destined for this third act back at Goodison... get sent off at Anfield or something.

we've been away to crewe inside my mind... and in my dreams we've trained some kids, a thousand times

xpost sorry still musing on bruce

I'm intrigued as to how this deal is supposed to work with wages, etc. I can't imagine a scenario where Utd actually make money. Not that I care at this point. Whatever it takes

I think he's taking a paycut in return for a free transfer

Never mind making money, not paying him the guts of 100 million or whatever for the benefit of his brooding presence around Carrington is a great deal

Just imagining Bruce sticking some Marvin Gaye on just as Terry's Lambo pulls into the Villa Park car park.

Would pay to see JT's loving sculpture of Brucie's head, rendering of squashy nose particularly anticipated.

hahaha

Wayne Rooney is in advanced talks with Everton about rejoining his boyhood team with the potential move centring on the Merseyside club matching the £250,000-a-week basic salary he earns at Manchester United.

he might need to bring a glossy brochure to the negotiations, with his stats and McNulty testimonials etc. That might get him up to national minimum wage. Where the rest of this 250k is coming from is a mystery. Image rights? He looks more Alternative Drainage Solutions than Nike these days.

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/cc0d7799b38a3ed2fe5a47fee6801d5a1a0d6e28/0_51_2560_1536/master/2560.jpg

good image in the guardian

Well fuck me.

Best swap deal ever.

penny for Morata's thoughts...

He's pushing for 5p and a buyback clause

Very strange deal

Not least because, not trolling here, Everton a better team than utd as of this window

show your workings...

Difference at end of last season, +/- transfers, momentum of coaching efforts.

If proposed Rooney/lukaku moves happen then all that is cancelled and Everton will go down like the titanic

Ironically as a result of the impact of a similar tonnage of impeccable whiteness

all will be fine when they sign josh king for 20 million

Trying to work out if our signings from last year stepping up (as in fairness has been somewhat of a pattern recently) would mean that our squad would be ready for this season.

Speaking of Josh king, like

Difference at end of last season, +/- transfers, momentum of coaching efforts.

If proposed Rooney/lukaku moves happen then all that is cancelled and Everton will go down like the titanic

― quet inn tarnation (darraghmac), donderdag 6 juli 2017 10:34 (forty minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Otm. Everton are building a really fine squad it seems, but if Teh Roo is indeed returning, it will be sad trombone.

obv they may well not have been able to hold onto Lukaku, but swapping him out for Rooney is straight sabotage

75m is low taking into account that this is for all intents and purposes a proposed swap, and therefore the difference in wages over what, three years? is likely to run to something like 3x52xc.100k

That's not even taking into account that lukaka will be worth something in three years and be worth something ito onpitch in the interim whereas Rooney has been worthless for ten years and in three years will only be of interest to Japanese fishermen

I'd imagine they'd see Giroud as closer to a direct replacement and Rooney as more of a stand-in for Barkley, but idk. They can probably still shift him to China or the MLS for a few mil at the end of the season however badly he performs.

Rooshi roll xp

Rooney being transported on tarpaulin spread between two flatbeds constantly doused with lard this summer will certainly be the last move of his career and Everton must know that, SV

Giroud makes total sense for them, Rooney at this stage is not just the answer to a question nobody is asking but he's a tetsuo in waiting

Everton have been busy in the market, dunno if they're pulling up any trees exactly. Pickford and Keane are solid signings (but Utd have better) Klaasen is quality (but Utd have better) and then the two young forwards could go either way (Utd have a few of those too)

Regardless, there was no scenario in which Lukaku stayed at Everton this season anyway

The latter is true the "betters" are up for discussion as is the question of what exactly the riddler mourinho will attempt to confound us with next tbh

If Koeman brought a contagious disease into the dressing room, it wouldn't do as much harm as Ronney's presence will. And would also be a man sight cheaper.

Freudian typos ahoy!

Selling your best player/attacking threat for crazy money and spending the money on seven or eight new signings at once. That always works.

Ha

I like to think that purchasing seven or eight good players might've made a difference but the point certainly is well made

Rooney gone on a free!

and somehow they're still getting shafted

Selling your best player/attacking threat for crazy money and spending the money on seven or eight new signings at once. That always works.

everton have sold michael jackson but signed blazing squad

You guys are cheering me up! You have to laugh, or you'd choke on yr own vomit.

it's a vile swindle.

i'm mildly worried about how effective united's premium pulisball could become with lukaku the target man.

Shame I've got work to do because the lure of visiting EFC fan forums is nigh on impossible to ignore:

So did everyone forget when he kissed the United badge? Or spouted a load of shite in his book about Moyes?

6 months ago (when the possibility of him returning was shy) half of the people on this forum didnt want him at Everton. He was "past it" and not the right choice to take us forward.

As soon as he's potentially going to sign people all of a sudden want him to "come home". Get a grip fickle fans.

I certainly won't be supporting him, blue shirt or not. I've got too much integrity to.

Id like to think any real fans of the club wouldn't disrespect the club like he did if they moved on to develop their career.

6 months ago (when the possibility of him returning was shy) half of the people on this forum didnt want him at Everton. He was "past it" and not the right choice to take us forward.

As soon as he's potentially going to sign people all of a sudden want him to "come home". Get a grip fickle fans.

i love this sort of rhetoric - it's very common. like "some people said different things yet in my mind every person except me is just one huge person, and therefore a hypocrite."

Yeah I love that. Sticking up for Moyes and saying 'get a grip fickle fans' is just the icing on the cake.

i'm mildly worried about how effective united's premium pulisball could become with lukaku the target man.

If Raiola or Jorge Mendes can unearth the Portuguese Rory Delap then the title is theirs.

Nothing to suggest that the original delap couldn't still perform at exactly the same level he always did rly

which reminds me, walters>burnley and whelan>villa - stoke seem to be selling all their most stoke players :'(

hopefully a £12m bid for jack rodwell or darron gibson is on the cards

stoke just shipping out the irish post-brexit

Kelechi talking to @LCFC. Looks like he will leave @ManCity, which is a shame given form in 2015-16 if inevitable given circumstances.

— Simon Stone (@sistoney67) July 6, 2017

Charlie Taylor to Burnley might seem like small beer in the scheme of things, but is has got all the Leeds fans bawling louder than when the Bremner statue was vandalised. He was already a hate figure for refusing to play the last game of the season!

Just bought him in FM, every good boy deserves to leave Leeds

new upgrade to FM'18 - Quotes from 30 odd page Charlie Taylor thread on WACCOE.

"Said on radio lancs he delighted to join a club with the stature of burnley.
thick fuk they r a micky mouse club with micky mouse support."

Logic's never stopped a Leeds fan

Zanka to Huddersfield... He was a big flop at PSV. Hope he finally learned how to defend at Kopenhagen.

well if he isn't good enough to force his way past Hefe or Schindler, he can at least chat about Scandinavian matters with Billing + Lossl on the bench!

It's ok I have done some due diligence youtube scouting on him and he gave an impressive interview, so obv a shit hot signing!

I don't mind a maverick, but he better not try any of this shit:

He likes to leave it late before passing back to his goalkeeper, a trick he uses to draw in a striker and then complain to the referee when the inevitable contact is made.

This didn’t work too well in 2014 when a misplaced back-pass to his goalkeeper let Son Heung-Min pounce and score for Bayer Leverkusen three minutes into a Champions League qualifier. Copenhagen lost that match 4-0.

It's stuff like that he's most remembered for here. But this is the PL we're talking about, I'm sure he'll be fine.

Reports this morning that Chelsea were so confident Lukaku was signing that they never actually got around to making an offer

This kinda puts the van Dijk fiasco in the shade

wouldn't be surprised if liverpool still signed vvd

Naby Keita the latest Liverpool transfer saga. Saw some YouTube highlights he looks all right. Anyone got any inside scoop on his prowess?

Keïta would be a saga if there was anything to report on it but Pool seem to be keeping a bit more schtung since Virgil's Blackpool escapade got publicised.

Reports this morning that Chelsea were so confident Lukaku was signing that they never actually got around to making an offer

lol

My teenage years all over again

But with United poised to sign the Everton striker Romelu Lukaku from under Chelsea’s noses for about £75m, it is unlikely they would sanction Matic’s move to Old Trafford. As a result United are considering a further push for Dier, who has always been Mourinho’s No1 target in the position, and a bid of about £50m may change Spurs’ thinking.

why tf would spurs sell dier to some shitheads who finished 6th?

Selling someone who isn't good enough to start ahead of Wanyama and Dembele in midfield and should probably, by rights, be behind Wimmer as a CB option for £50m would possibly make sense if you were looking to bring in dedicated DM and CBs. He spent about two thirds of his time in the back four, rather than midfield, last season and was constantly making mistakes.

He does offer the opportunity to change formations mid-game, which is obviously useful, but depending on who they brought in, I wouldn't mind if he did go.

#MUFC is delighted to announce a fee has been agreed with Everton for the transfer of Romelu Lukaku, subject to a medical & personal terms. pic.twitter.com/O7oQJWzYHo

— Manchester United (@ManUtd) July 8, 2017

✍️ We are delighted to confirm the arrival of Rúben Neves who joins from @FCPorto on a five-year-deal. #WelcomeRuben pic.twitter.com/zjcQbv0z4N

— Wolves (@Wolves) July 8, 2017

Congrats!

I don't think anyone else in the Champo will lick the Neves signing in this window, even if it is more money it will probably be some last minute panic-buy purchase of whoever has become the new Jordan Rhodes.

i guess here is vaguely the place for it but i find this bradley lowery stuff pretty weird. it is obv horrible that a child dies so young but the amount of publicity is strange, and the weird fusion of sport and fame and celebrity culture attached to society's obsession with misfortune befalling children.

xpost

On our football messageboard a lot of the sensitive UKIP thugs who start threads about deporting terrorists and how race is a social construct and racism doesn't really exist, they all agree that a child dying of a terminal illness is very sad.

If we sent child soldiers to Afghan, and one of them became terminally ill - that would be a Princess Diana level event in football grounds.

The fact that much is being made of a black footballer's goodness and humanity offsets a little of the people's princess* posturing for me

*jade goody obvs

social media and its influence on traditional media tends to increasingly reify the most uncomplicated human emotions i guess - innocent sanctity of the children, hatred of The Other, proving you're not a bigot by singling out "the good ones" for praise

Otm x 1000. Plus the fact that if one club tweets its condolences, every one else will have to follow. You can't even say you had no idea who the boy in question was. Dutch copy paste football news sites (who are extremely popular) are treating the death of the boy as a major event too. Which isn't wrong in itself, but the endless stream of 'rips' from people who most certainly had never even heard of the poor boy leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's a way of bonding between supporters of rival clubs too, which seems to be something people yearn for. Wish we'd arrive at this point when it comes to racism.

It's happened. It's actually happened

📝 | We're delighted to bring @WayneRooney back to #EFC! He signs from @ManUtd, 2 year deal. #WelcomeHomeWayne

👉🏻 https://t.co/mHFaK7eQA9 pic.twitter.com/8N5nYvnezU

— Everton (@Everton) July 9, 2017

i-is that duncan ferguson

he's so soft now

“As I spoke to Ronald and saw it in his eyes that he wanted me to be part of his team, it was a no-brainer for me and the only place I was going to go.”

*_*

call the polis Dunc, this burglar is stealing all the wages!

I think I may be more concerned that our new shirt sponsor appears to be a bloody betting firm. It's a bad look.

I'm not too bothered about bookies, it isn't exactly classy but definitely preferable to payday loan sharks. Although I would accept that when people have serious gambling problems, sometimes they will go to the latter to feed the monkey. Nobody has even heard of 90% of the new betting companies with shit names these days. Our new kit sponsor is (abandon all) OPE!

Buried in one of the many articles on Lukaku on the beeb, this was news to me:

Chelsea tried to re-sign the Belgium international but were not willing to match the fees Lukaku's agent, Mino Raiola, would earn if the forward moved to Old Trafford.

that seems like spin from the Chelsea side tbh. Although Mino is essentially a salaried employee at Utd now

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEXc-FBXUAAHCXg.jpg
lol! Ireland's Evening Herald have got Lukaku mixed up with Stormzy.

In fairness tho

his next album title and cover is sorted: Ready For Work.

At what stage do we start wondering whether lamela is just a crack addict or w/e

Bayern are getting James Rodriguez on loan, for two seasons, with an option to buy him after that.

That seems like a pretty good deal

Bit of an understatement actually

The @jamesdrodriguez Deal. Loan: 5 Million Euros per year. @FCBayern can buy him 2019 for 35,2 Million Euros @SPORTBILD @real

— Christian Falk (@cfbayern) July 11, 2017

Ffs

So if he's shit they'll send him back, if he's great he's only 35,5 million. Real Umadrid.

It's a weird one, seeing as the price being thrown around for a permanent deal was 70m-ish. Bayern always seem to get good deals but I can't imagine there was any other teams in for him based on this outcome

Douglas Costa also leaving on a similar deal to Juve apparently

he must be on some fucking ludicrous wages or something...

I don't get why they wouldn't just sell him otherwise? I mean surely Mourinho could have been persuaded to lob £50m or so in their direction?

well obviously he couldn't

I said when the rumours first surfaced linking him to Utd that it made no sense

he's on 120k a week apparently

less than half a Rooney, seems fair

Dani Alves to #PSG, not #MCFC. Unexpected blow for Guardiola, who had big plans for him. Also increases City desperation to get Kyle Walker

— Oliver Kay (@OliverKayTimes) July 11, 2017

Rumours of Iheanacho going the other way as part of any deal, which would be pretty good business all round I guess.

my brother tells me there's a rumour we're after loaning Negredo for the season. This shit is bananas tbh

thought Iheanacho had more or less signed for Leicester?

although it does seem to be the season of the snub

City should try and buy PSG's right back now, Thomas Meunier. Great player and only 25.

my brother tells me there's a rumour we're after loaning Negredo for the season. This shit is bananas tbh

― ramen play on 10 (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, July 11, 2017 6:20 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Negredo is one of Jorge Mendes' players as well, isn't he? That could make sense.

Scratch that, he's not

No I already checked, not directly a Mendes client anyhow

Have you seen this Independent article about the Neves deal "sitting uncomfortable" with the author? I get the reservations but it's very poorly argued tbh

I saw the headline but I'm bored of this Mendes = Blofeld shit already. Yeah agents are bad and work in their own interests, no this isn't unique to Mendes or Wolves but it obviously really boils some Brit journos' piss. Tough shit guys, we're in the Great Game now and it's hilarious, go fuck yourselves

Otm x 1000. Somewhat related, I had to laugh reading Benitez is frustrated with the transfer market. Poor Rafa. If you can't stand the heat etc.

We are being linked with Chelsea's expensive flop Abdul Baba Rahman. We already have two quality leftbacks, so I'd assume Wagner would fancy utilising him in a more advanced role.

Januzaj put out of his misery with a transfer to Real Sociedad. Hope he fares better there than Moyes did.

:(

his post-2013 career has been a major bummer. Still think he can be a quality player but he clearly needs a major attitude adjustment

Don't read f365 for the insight but their piece today on why Dier is worth 50m to spurs but not to united is entirely correct

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YNSUTqEssg

Noodle Vague & Calzino | Welcome to the Big Time | Goals Skills Assists | HD 2017

ha ha! now we have become the very shameless parvenu vulgarians, chucking wheelbarrows of money in all directions, that I used to jealously diss all the time. I think it is fucking great fun as well tbh. I'm corrupt 4 life now and will probably start smouldering into a pile of ashes if I ever enter into Park Avenue's ground again! And will forever be underwhelmed by sub 10 mill signings!

it is kind of amazing that an agent is allowed to get involved with a club to such an extent. it's essentially printing money, even moreso than just being an agent is in general.

not claiming the rest of the game is any better, just saying.

i think the extent to which this becomes sinister depends on how the Wolves get on over the next couple of seasons. top 6 finish this season is still a big ask i think, and god knows there's enough of our own fans praying that we fail so they can be right about the uselessness of players and managers who "don't know the Championship" and try to play "fancy Dan football" - which i think means trying to keep possession and play with a shape or something. if we can get up in the next couple of years and establish ourselves even as a mid-table Prem team i think a lot of the attention on Mendes and Fosun drifts away, or becomes acceptable because that's the Prem and everybody expects you to be corrupt, cash-splurging dicks in the Prem. i think the negative journalism now is largely about us as mid-Champo chancers having the temerity to behave like this.

"i think" getting a bit of overuse there i think

i feel like it's more because he's the world's most famous/successful agent and the relationship almost seems formal.

and it was then mendes says "sign that guy" when he pockets millions each time that happens. i mean to an extent this goes on everywhere, mino raiola has a close relationship with diff clubs obv... i suppose as long as it's not a formal relationship there's nothing against the rules. i think people have been trying to establish the extent to which mendes is actually running things.

like eg mino raiola doesn't have a coach installed anywhere, afaik

haha v good

well maybe he does, but i've not heard about it. it doesn't take much investigation to say "a mendes client is the manager", ergo an easy story.

the club's official position is that Mendes doesn't dictate transfer policy, he's an advisor. well, we would say that, but it feels reasonably true. we still have a (imo pretty useless) recruiting team run by Kevin Thelwell and John Marshall. one reason i'm not that fussed about Mendes at the moment is that even the failures he's suggested/negotiated have been more exciting than the low-budget dross that the official team have brought in over the last few years - illustrated by us having almost nobody that we've been able to move on even at break even prices.

i'm pretty sure that Lambert wasn't a Mendes appointment, and he was shit enough to confirm all my prejudices about the Champo manager merry-go-round. we'll see whether Mendes/Fosun is a shocking breach of the rules, a taste of football clubs to come or something that will diminish if the project succeeds or fails badly. right now there's just no incentive for me to pine for the 1950s hoofball we've been stuck with for decades or to listen to media that regularly fawn all over the Scarface-esque shenanigans of the Prem deciding to go on a "this is taking things too far" steez because they think Mendes is a wrong'un. it's just fun and hilarious and i'll take whatever consequences ensue.

yeah not trying to neg you or wolves - as i say i'm sure it's all rotten, just felt like i can see why it's a sort of juicy story.

Wasn't Allardyce at this same carry on, getting players to sign for his agent

oh yeah i can too, i'm not defensive, i'm not suddenly "yay Prem mega-dickery", it's just a spectacular change in fortunes with a lot of juicy infighting between anti-football luddites in our own fanbase. the very real possibility of it crashing and burning isn't even a negative to me at the moment, just a possible outcome of this craziness.

xp i was gonna mention Sam, 'Arry, Ferguson, Mou. Obv the latter has his own Mendes connection.

railo and man u at the moment is p lucrative.

"it's just fun and hilarious and i'll take whatever consequences ensue."

To totally misquote the Simpsoms Movie: you ever tried a fun transfer window without millions of quids. It's boring. Nobody notices you.

like eg mino raiola doesn't have a coach installed anywhere, afaik

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), woensdag 12 juli 2017 10:51 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article8213014.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Mourinho-main.jpg

Challops obv but he sure knows how to make buckets of cash off ManU.

It’s reported Ranocchia would like a return to the Premier League, but prefers a more prestigious club.

He had also been targeted by West Bromwich Albion.

Good luck with that "more prestigious" club route, pal!

Lol! Grayson bidding 900k for Vaughany is insanity! He's lost his fucking mind already!

Are there any inklings of Spurs signing anyone?

All it seems to be rumour wise is which players of ours other clubs are targeting

Juan Foyth from Estudientes seems likely - though they clearly missed a trick by not having that in place by June 4th.

They were heavily linked with Sebastian Driussi for a while but he went to Zenit.

Janssen, sissoko, lamela gonna be like three new signings

I've seen Josh King mentioned

Sigurdsson to Everton seems to be somewhat closer

Ajax' Abdelhak Nouri won't ever play again :( He was player of the year of the Dutch championship last year. Very sad news.

Walker to City for £50m looks like it's happening.

LEVY

Worlds most expensive defender, Tottenham second choice rightback Kyle walker

woah

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/jul/13/juventus-leonardo-bonucci-set-to-join-milan-shock-move

Wow... Did not see that coming. Calling AC Milan Juve's "rivals" seems moot at this point, with Milan not even in competition for a CL spot for what, the last five years? Seems like a huge step backwards, despite Milan's "project" (ie. Asian money pouring in) as of late.

Last note on Januzaj: ManU sold him to La Real, but there's a buy back clause apparently. Rip big clause, heaven need etc. Can't see it happening but it's nice they added it to the sale.

Memphis has one too. Keeping our options open!

:)

Seriously though, would a cap on the numbers of contracted players per club not be a good idea? The top English clubs are loaning out dozens of players every season. The adagium is: hit and miss. If they manage to sell one out of ten half decent players to some dumb club financially it's ok for them, and screw the other nine. Players who'll never make the first squad in the PL, but they keep them on because financially it pays off.

NAC Breda, promoted to the Dutch Eredivisie, have secured the loan of five Man City players for the coming season. FIVE. PSV are desperately trying to sign Van Ginkel from Chelsea - who was here on loan for two seasons - but Chelsea refuse to sell, yet again, because the loan construction makes them more money. So it will probably be a third season on loan for him (we can use him, Chelsea sure as hell can't, and won't). It's ridiculous, football clubs turning into trade businesses this way.

LEVY

yeah incredible stuff, managed to sell a player to a rival having signed nobody. what a summer.

Heh

By the time we replace our reserve tantrum RB I feel that we can look forward to some other business using that money

that stadium won't fund itself!!

Yeah £50m for a 27-year old right-back who is maybe our eighth or ninth best player when we already have a ready-made replacement. The money should go on someone that isn't a fullback though, and we need Danny Rose back quickly.

The likelihood of Pep bringing out the worst in Walker seems fairly high fwiw. It took maybe two years of Poch waterboarding to get him to cut out all the stupid mistakes.

Otm. Walker will be walker without poch.

XP lol if that is actual criticism of paying for a stadium.

Hah! Man City pay £50m for a so so RB and they let us have Tommy Smith on a free. After one season in the prem he will be worth at least £20 m at the current crazy rates. And he is developing into a shit hot RB, believe me he won't disgrace himself in the prem.

I'm a big fan of Chelsea, united, city wasting their money on established shite (or at best, overpriced) and allowing exactly that to happen to their untested youth.

Still a little gutted about Charlie Daniels tbh

Got to give it to the very generous and carelessly profligate youth systems of City and especially Chelsea, it saves a lot of FL clubs the expense of developing them. And sometimes I think the experience of failure/rejection makes them stronger players.

There are rumours that Ricardo has been earmarked as a replacement for Walker. He has been on loan at Nice for the last two seasons and done very well. He'd pose a similar kind of attacking threat .

His contract is owned by Porto, though, and they want €25m for him.

IMHO Guardiola is making a rod for his own back with that price-tag on Walker. I wonder if Sheffield Utd had some kind of sell-on fee when they sold him to Spurs.

Levy's there now in a room just affixing '-Peters' to every 'Kyle Walker' on that City contract.

Happier as is tbph

Welcome to Chelsea, @TimoeB08!

👉 https://t.co/XA1aBMBFU8#BakasBlue pic.twitter.com/IlrH2bIBlC

— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) July 15, 2017

don't think he's that good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

rogue question mark there for some reason

this is a weird one

Tottenham ramp up Ross Barkley interest with Everton ready to compromise on £50m price tag https://t.co/3EWV1S2K5A #coys #efc

— Indy Football (@IndyFootball) July 16, 2017

£30m is apparently Levy's target price. Doesn't make any sense to me.

is he even good?

He's ok, but not 50m ok

he's like a young Wayne Rooney

with about an eight of the talent and a significantly lower footballing IQ

The latter is up for scientists to decide when they dissect both Roo and Ross' brains, but you're not far off.

Most certainly do not see what he'd add to Spurs tbh.

that is literally the end for spurs

I have faith but....this is a very weird one. Poch must really believe he can harness Barkley's talents, I'd be gobsmacked.

Anyway, fazio, njie and bentaleb all sold today.

i think poch is good at reigning in impetuous types and we do need an attacking midfielder but please no

Good job Zidane isn't still playing, they'd* run out of abacuses to even quantify him in the current market.

*they as in The motherfucking Man, in all his current guises!

Trenchant!

Self trenched, what a world

Real ronaldo worth a minor bin Laden at current rates

Arnautovic to West Ham for £24m!

Six league goals last season.

Hart, Arnautovic and likely Chicharito. Seems they're aiming for "proven" but shopping in the damaged goods aisle

That's a lot of money for Arnautovic.

Pretty consistent rumors that PSG are willing to pay the transfer clause of 222m for Neymar, and that he'd be up for it. It's probably not going to happen is it?

We got a player in Mounie, who scored 15 in a struggling Montpelier side, and helped them win a relegation battle, his aerial prowess was statistically the best (or 2nd best- i cant remember) in all of Europe last season. For less than half that price. And he chose us over West Ham who were also in for him [sorry, tedious and smug brag post here].

Everton midfielder Ross Barkley wants £150,000 a week to join Tottenham

lol

xxposts
yeah the Neymar rumour has gone crazy in Paris since... yesterday !
now apparently he has told his brasilian friends in PSG that he's coming...
the whole thing seems dubious though, especially after the fiasco of last year's negotiations but I think both ways are fine with me : either he's coming, whatever the price (not my money !) and that's great cos he would be perfect for Paris or he's not and he's only doing the same thing as last year to get even more money from FCB and I'm glad that annoys Barca after all their nonsense regarding Verratti (and THAT remuntada too...).

and the other good thing about this rumour is that could help in the negotiations with Sanchez since that would be the same position.

That Arno transfer suggests that either scouting networks are complete shit these days, or even middle-ranking clubs like Stoke are so flush that they don't need to sell except for crazy money. Or both.

Arnautovic ain't been bad for Stoke.

It's merely a lithmus test of value for buying from an epl club this summer.

ie dont

Yeah he's been a good player for them and has been excellent in a few games, but Stoke have better attacking players than West Ham which will limit his impact.

But he therefore improves west ham, tbf

Again, it's only the nuts fee that raises an eyebrow I think

And I mean, it's no walker

Nuts fee and that, though he seems to have mellowed a bit, he's still a liability when it comes to shenanigans etc. But that might as well 'improve' WHU.

Morata to Chelsea confirmed

Would dearly love to know what really went on behind the scenes with this whole situation

more than ever we're in a time where the value of a player bought by a prem team is entirely dependent on the set of circumstances and the deal itself, how badly they want the player etc. they're all loaded but discovering money isn't really opening every door for them.

Otm. Keïta good case in point as well if rumors are to be believed.

Still highly doubt Morata is a good match with Chelsea (couldn't see him do well at ManU either).

Pogba looks like pretty value at this point tbh (although you could argue that transfer was something of a catalyst for the insanity we're seeing this summer)

better to spend almost anything on a great player than 20/30m on some shithead

tho maybe we're now in the era of the 60m shithead

The rumoured fee for Morata is 70m and he's never been first choice for any club he's played for. He's certainly not a shithead, but it's fairly unprecedented

15-20m is a real netherzone at the moment. like even last year jordan ibe for 15m etc.

Would get you Kingsley Coman, Ricardo Rodriguez or Britt Assombalonga!

Couldn't even get 10 for Januzaj which says something lol

Bentaleb 16m

Better RB than walker like

Lucas for 5m pretty good. He's only 30, great servant etc

5m is a good price for him, and is a good price to get for him. In many ways it is a price reflective of the man's values rather than his value, an understated fraction of consideration but when you think about it, really worth rather a lot

Kevin Stewart 8m, Lucas Leiva 5m...

Morata is only 24 and if they get 6-8 years out of him (on the assumption he's about to hit his peak) then that's not awful in today's market. But strikes me as the kind of player who's more about intelligent approach play and contribution to the team, whereas in this environment and with that price tag he'll get hammered if he doesn't start scoring goals almost immediately.

Otm. He also strikes me as not an asshole, which is to his disadvantage, as being an asshole will always carry you a bit further when playing for Chelsea despite not being great (Lamps, Terry, fucking Costa).

Danilo to City seems like a thing, meaning that City will have spent £76.5m on right-backs this summer.

Presumably Pep is going to play one of them at LB? If he tries that with Walker even once then that's a sacking offence.

lest ye forget kdb at full back last year

What price morata

Hearing Chicarito to West Ham for abt 15m, from Leverkusen.

This was back in February. Our net spend is negative now

http://e1.365dm.com/17/02/16-9/20/skysports-tottenham-spend-net_3890509.jpg?20170213201725

Villa going for some kind of hughesian ideal

Supposedly Pep reckons Danilo can play in midfield too (course he does)

They're still in for Mendy as well

looking forward to pep getting sacked next season

come on, admit it

They bought six players last season of whom you can only say Jesus and Sane were a success, and they could be buying 6-7 this year for 300m odd. He's not exactly looking like the coaching genius of lore

the goalkeeper stuff is ridiculous.

Tend to agree

Think he is a great coach but could not have put himself in a less suitable context.

He seems to be bad at buying the right players.

Brucey knows the Championship, knows you need players who can do it on a freezing Tuesday night in Barnsley, knows you need fans who don't mind being bored shitless

He seems to be bad at buying the right players.

You mean the right players for City, right, because this is complete insanity otherwise.

They bought six players last season of whom you can only say Jesus and Sane were a success

Gabriel Jesus has made 10 appearances, he could still be in his Robinho phase for all we know. You might as well include Gundogan in there who has been similarly unlucky with injuries. Bernardo Silva looks an excellent signing, but no new CB means no title however well anyone else does.

Yeah it's all covered by the 'in this context' bracket there, the city project seems to be impeding his usual effectiveness

You mean the right players for City, right, because this is complete insanity otherwise.

is it? The best players at both his previous teams weren't his signings. He bought loads of flops for Barca. He had a few good signings for Bayern (Thiago and Vidal most notably) but you can't really argue that he improved on what was already there

Hear me out, now

Just......look, hear me out

Sissoko......right back

?\('-')/?

Swansea are going to bid £10 m for Billing. Oddly for such a quality prospect he hasn't made much of an impact so far. Mainly because of Mooy's awesomeness and injury problems tho. Wagner has previously said he has the most potential he has ever seen in one of his own players. He showed it against Man City as well, he seems to totally shine in high tempo prem style games against quality opposition with less time on the ball, than he does against lower league riff-raff like Leeds or Wednesday. They ought to say £20m or get fucked imo.

As someone one the lookout for fantasy league deep cuts which Huddersfield players do you reckon will make an impact this season?

Mooy was our consistently best player last season, and even when he was completely drained after travelling to southern hemisphere international games he was still delivering (hence his extended break this summer). He is the best player I have ever seen playing for Town in the flesh. A quality driving force of a midfield player. The £8m and add ons we paid is a bargain for sure.

If he gets back from injury right-back Tommy Smith could be a good under the radar deep-cut.

Center back Schindler is so solid and has a great football brain, if a bit one-paced. But he has this Germanic (never less than a 7.5 consistency) to him.

http://www.htfc-world.com/reports/Bury2/bury160717_r28_c1.jpg

There is a downside to life in the premiership though:p

in a shockingly unprecedented move we're signing a Portuguese lad who's represented by Gestifute

Virgil van Dijk training alone at Southampton after saying he wants to leave

Time to put in a bid lads

Danilo officially takes Man City's spending on full-backs to £132.5m this window.

"Kevin de Bruyne insists Manchester City must buy 'a lot' more defenders if they are to challenge for the title"

Mistranslation

He said a lot better defenders

According to Marca, Real Madrid has agreed a 180m fee for Mbappé.

I know it sounds like a lot of money, but when you realize it's about six Arnautovices that puts it into perspective again.

Euros or pounds

Also is it what real ronaldo would be worth at 18 today

If so, then it's a valid fee

€€€

Ronaldo went for a world record £13.2m fee in 1996. The previous record holder, Lentini, went for £13m four years previously. The current record free is £89m for Paul Pogba one year ago.

When Ronaldo went to Barcelona he'd scored 50 something goals in around the same number of games for PSV, as well as tearing it up for Cruizeiro. Mbappe has scored 16 goals in 40 games for Monaco

Sorry, Mbappe stat was league only. It's 27 in 58

Ronaldo scored 44 in 47 for Cruizeiro

Yep, Ronaldo made 54 goals in 57 games for PSV. xp

Our "bargain buy" man Mounie only scored one less Ligue 1 goal than Mbappe, and this was in a struggling Montpelier side last season. But he possibly isn't a potential global superstar in the making, but you never know! He did a nice Pulisball-style lob the keeper straight from the goal kick against Barnsley on Sunday, that put an extra tenner onto his value.

are huddersfield still favoured by bookies to finish bottom 3? you'd have thought they'd have wised up by now

they're odds-on with all bookies to go down, the only team to be so

if i was a betting man i'd put quite a lot on their survival tbh, this is complete madness

I don't think Wagner could get a team relegated if he tried. He has an uncanny ability of instilling belief + getting a few extra percent out of players, and then some. No new signings this week, but just as importantly new contracts offered to all the vital promotion squad players, to create wage parity with new mega-bucks in-comings. Wagner has said he hasn't spending finished yet as well.

I haven't been studying the relegation because I don't believe it will happen tbh. But I'm sure someone said we had gone odds against to stay up, might be wrong.

A coupla missing words there!

yeah you're odds-on to go down

burnley, swansea, brighton won't get within ten points of you?

*Historical note

*Hans Frank also had an assistant named Bühler

Brighton just signed Izzy Brown on loan from Chelsea. We already have Kasey Palmer on loan, so we had the option to buy him for £8m if we wanted him, and I think the club rightly decided the price was a pisstake. Our 3-1 against Brighton last season flattered the hell out of them, it was a comprehensive fucking. I respect Burnley, and don't fa about Swansea.

Think Swansea will be alright, the manager seems to know what he's doing. One of Palace or Leicester to start the season in a tailspin and never really recover. Would have said Watford on last season's form but Silva makes them much more of an unknown quantity.

I've missed hoping Newcastle go down last year, so them. Plus Palace/Burnley? Stoke?

Mbappe is worth 180m euros idk what else to say.

I read somewhere that Wenger sees the young Henry in him.

i feel like Stoke are due for the traditional Mark Hughes crash but maybe that's just wishful thinking

nice early start to next season's gaslighting as boss of the richest club in the world:

Asked how he assessed his chances of making United champions again, Mourinho said: “I don’t think we are big candidates for the title but we are candidates. Everybody speaks about the dimension of the investment at Man City but there is another team that I feel the dimension of their investment is also phenomenal – Tottenham. Until now they spent zero pounds, right? They keep everybody they want to keep. They keep Dele Alli, Kane and Alderweireld, they keep Eric Dier, they keep everyone they want to keep.

We had the same budget as Rotherham last season, so perhaps our manager's lack of gaslighting is the reason he is a good fucking manager. Cos he didn't do any of that type of fucking worthless whinging.

God, I hate the premiership already :p

it can't be gaslighting when it's true

Mourinho is an unprecedented nihilistic force in English football. Him joining ManU is the PL's 9/11. Though in a world where Trump is president of the USA, austerity thrives and West Ham pays 28m for Arnautovic, it seems to make perfect sense. We'll regret it when we're burning in hell tho.

Watford, Brighton, Burnley, Stoke, Palace, Swansea(?), West Brom, Newcastle and possibly Leicester could all be in the mix to go down.

Huddersfield 2000-1 to win it is probably a better bet.

Always better wasting a quid on a longshot, than putting a grands onto a bad odds-on bet, I say. Never forget the punter who tried to buy some money with 50 grand on Man Utd at h/t when they were 3-0 up against Spurs, and they lost 4-3.

.....

5-3

oh yeah it was 5-3, it must have been at least 15 years ago that - I was still working in a betting shop at the time.

and it was a reverse, my memory is fucked these days!

We're quite good at blowing 3-0 HT leads. We also managed to do it against a Man City side reduced to 10 men at the stroke of HT.

We once squandered a 5-1 lead against 10 men with 29 minutes to go, and lost 7-6. And that was with the great Shankly in charge!

Tbf we at least signed defoe the day we fucked it to man city

And I was in Paris at the time whereas we were three up against united as I entered the no-phone zone of my grandmother's funeral

To think, she was anointed and consecrated at the very moment the dockyard lizard king hissed "ladssszzzszz itszszszsz Tottenham

It is strange how bad results get weaved into your memories, like yeah that day so and so died, and we lost 4-0 etc...

technically, "lads, it's tottenham" was a pre-game exhortation

sorry for your loss

spurs fans weren't the only disappointed ones that day against man u

please dont go coutinho

if liverpool can't force other teams to sell i don't imagine they'll do the same, unless he's desperate to leave. 80m feels almost worthless to a liverpool who can't even sign players by bidding 80m

Kondogbia lobs his own keeper from the middle of the pitch

https://streamable.com/3io27

Oh wow

lol great touch

Were getting killed out here should be five or six down

just beat full-strength ipswich 6-1

We lost a not very friendly against Udinese, 2-1. It is immoral charging people to watch a disjointed training session type game with a different XI each half imo. But it was live-streamed on the Udinese web site, so they were fully committed to getting a result, if not so much to staying on their feet. MOM was Kevin Lasagna, cue a load of our easily impressed fuckwits googling hilarious pasta puns!

Matic appears to be a done deal

well, it's a midfielder

surprised chelsea would sell to a rival

Conte's making some risky moves this summer. He's moving on two of his most experienced players and replacing them with younger, inferior (right now, anyway) models

Can't say I'm massively enthused by this transfer, mind. But it does give us a very balanced midfield trio

it won't be pretty but he really is building a mourinho team now, between this and lukaku.

I think we can field an entire XI of players over 6ft tall now

surprised chelsea would sell to a rival

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 30 July 2017 15:13 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Meow

Inconceivable that Matic wouldn't immediately improve United's first XI, not just adding a degree of defensive solidity and dynamism that's obviously been missing there but also allowing Pogba to play further forward in a position where he might start justifying his price tag.

Re: selling to a rival, by all accounts Matic and Abramovich get on well which might have smoothed the path somewhat.

posted it on the FW thread but this is the biggest move of the summer, imo
http://www.football365.com/news/exclusive-james-richardson-to-leave-guardian-football-weekly

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/jul/31/darron-gibson-disciplinary-proceedings-sunderland-video-comments

When Gibson’s decision to be out in a bar soon after the Celtic loss was raised, he replied: “I might be off my face in here but I still want to play for Sunderland.”

didn't even notice gibson moved to sunderland, could anything be more inevitable?

The outcome

ok new contender for the non-Prem thread title

darron gibson is off his ting

Understand fee for Matic is actually £35m plus £5m add ons. #mufc #cfc

— Mike Keegan (@MikeKeegan_DM) July 31, 2017

that's actually...not bad

In context it's not

Sturridge scores a beautiful chipped goal against Bayern and injures himself in the process...

that must have pissed on his chip

^^ underrated expressions I have loved.

Despite ManC, and the staggering amount paid for Arnautovic, this transfer period so far is a tad disappointing. Are we waiting for the Neymarapocalypse for things to unfold? And where's 'Arry? Thought I saw him at the airport today etc.

Early days but Bayern and Real have lost nearly every match so far. Esp seeing how Bayern is squandering the ball and being scored against (AC Milan, Pool) is... unusual.

The goal is here: https://streamable.com/r3745

Absolutely sensational. The most Daniel Sturridge thing that has ever happened.

Apparently tomorrow's Racing Post football guide, which is quite respected amongst seasoned idiotic fules that are born to loose! football punters, has predicted Town to finish rock bottom. And to go down with 2 of Burnley, West-Brom and Stoke. I think they have taken note that many of our fringe players are indeed very shit, and despite the new influx - there is still a glaring lack of depth. But fatally, just like last season they haven't factored in David Wagner into their calculations. I might be reading this from a shit source, but no way are Brighton finishing above Town this time. And also not considered a part of the potential relegation dogfight mix.

Absolutely sensational. The most Daniel Sturridge thing that has ever happened.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, August 1, 2017 3:58 PM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jesus g-d christ

3-0 win against bayern - obv gonna win the league.

what's doubly annoying about sturridge is adam lallana did an interview this week saying he was fit and firing and like a new signing. shouldn't have let myself hope.

It looks like Aurier is likely to go to United, which pretty much leaves Toljan as the only FB linked with Spurs who might still be on.

Still very odd to be eleven days away from the start of the season, with Poch talking about the importance of bringing in more players, and only really being linked with Ross Barkley (who has already turned down £20k a week more than Spurs are willing to offer him) and Riyad Mahrez - who apparently wants to go to Roma instead.

Janssen and sissoko season 2 boost tho

I'm guessing we're going to promote Walker-Peters and stick with Trippier as first choice. If we're going to spend that money it should really go on a CB or a striker though, but I don't think major surgery is needed.

I'd be sceptical about reports of a fee being agreed for Aurier given his legal situation

I'm surprised ManC didn't go for Aurier. I rate him higher than Danilo. Maybe said legal stuff scared them off?

not sure many teams have ever gotten away with not buying anyone at all.

Neymar to PSG signing seems to be in the bag

I dunno how I'd feel of a fan of another team itt took this position, but:

We're way ahead of schedule.

Frankly, unsustainably so.

The investment needed to 'definitely' (lol) maintain a challenge for second /third at this stage and given the activity of manchesters would be too risky.

Stadium move is a big unknown.

Difficult to source players to improve first team for a number of reasons beyond budget -settled team, dynamics, wage bill control- and Poch has practically made a speciality out of bolstering the squad with youth players- which seems like the way to go tbh?

Keeping everyone and keeping everyone happy is as valid a priority at this stage than bursting ourselves keeping up with transfer activity that sees Kyle walker valued at 50m

yeah that's fair enough. i think in the current climate finishing top four every year is no longer to be expected. and the prices are so crazy it'd be v easy to waste a pile of cash.

not to say i definitely think spurs will have a bad season or something, just that it seems like teams usually need a player or two even to stay at the level they were at the previous season.

Additional- firmly believe that there is plenty of further potential in the first team to improve, they haven't filled out yet.

Obv this can always go the other way

XP received wisdom, which isn't always to be discounted out of hand, says you need a few in every season even if (especially if?) you've achieved your goals the year before. It's down to nothing more than trust in the manager and the group that has me relaxed at this stage that they are motivated as things stand.

not sure many teams have ever gotten away with not buying anyone at all.

United in 95 is the only one I can think of, and there was a similar reliance on a talented crop of kids there. Not to say we're going to win the league next season but the philosophy seems to be similar.

In any case I'm sure we'll sign at least a couple of players, even if it's in the usual deadline day supermarket sweep way.

xps all depends if spurs decide to not bother with the champions league again this season

Spurs, arsenal, Liverpool, Everton in a proper tranche of quality teams this year

Add in one of the three big lads (most likely utd imo) who will be closer to that chasing pack than they will to a title challenge and you're looking at a very high standard to get third/fourth place

Are we predicting yet. Chelsea in a walk obv.

City second pep out

United third Mou feted lol

Liverpool fourth

Spurs. Poch in.

Everton

Do think, I know I'm repeating myself here, the very real trend of poch signings only kicking on in year two might be a factor here

Deems otm. It's funny how nowadays a club not bringing in huge signings is the 'experimental' one in some way. Think Spurs' path of carefully crafting a XI, bringing in young players and ultimately selling them for way more, in the long run is the only way to go. Ajax and Monaco are v good examples imho.

Shit I genuinely didn't mean to leave arsenal out there

Arsenal fifth spurs sixth

Poch out

Shit now I'm worried

lol

Spending big on Barkley or another player who would demand first-team football has the potential to unbalance an otherwise excellent attacking unit, as Van der Vaart did in 2010, so they need to be obviously better than what we have and that may be very difficult under our current financial constraints. We do need squad depth though and certainly a couple at Son's level who can provide more tactical flexibility.

1 Chelsea
2 Man C (pep indeed out)
3 Man Utd
4 Spurs
5 Liverpool
6 Arse
7 Everton

Man C
Spurs
Chelsea
Liverpool

Son is a great example of a player that came in, struggled, was improved hugely by the crucible of my personal disapproval on www.ilxor.com and is now perfectly situated as 'important first team squad member' which we need more than 'undroppable'

Lamela.....I mean if he comes back in the decent form he was in before his......hip injury..................then we only need janssen to take up ten games or so worth of slack a season. I'd back him to do that.

Right back, keep the joblot of centre backs and boom

Chelsea
Man U
Man C
Arsenal
???

dependent on United keeping key players fit, just have this horrible feeling

Think Spurs' path of carefully crafting a XI, bringing in young players and ultimately selling them for way more, in the long run is the only way to go. Ajax and Monaco are v good examples imho.

This is right, imo, but Spurs have been missing out on opportunities to bring talented young players they've been linked with in. Driussi went to Zenit, Foyth has gone to PSG, etc. The lack of activity in going after the next generation has been more disappointing than failing to sign an established superstar.

Seen a few pundits say that despite their signings, United are actually behind where they were last season due to departures and players like Carrick being a year older

I can't see mourinhos dark magic failing this season and I can't see it failing to see him sacked before December the season after

basing a lot on the idea that Pogba steps up in a role that suits him better tbh

but broadly their squad-building seems to be working to a (albeit Mourinhoesque) plan in a way that most of the other big dogs haven't this summer imo

plus where's the fun in just expecting everything to shake down like last season redux?

Signs of progress in my life I'm sure but I haven't a fucking clue where other squads are tbh

my observations are strictly casual tbf, much more focused on us becoming Watford Remix or crashing ignominiously

I wouldn't say we're behind last season but on a player by player basis it's hard to say we've significantly improved. Lukaku should match (and will probably exceed) Zlatan's tally but unless the rest of the squad significantly increase their goal production we'll be in bother

Rooney leaving alone improves ManU as a whole tbf

The problem now is I think the slightly incoherent set of players behind Lukaku. Successful Mourinho teams, no matter how defensive, have always had strong and lethally effective players in wide forward and attacking midfield positions. Mata has been good for United but doesn't appear to have his full trust and Mkhitaryan, Martial etc are a couple of levels below the likes of Hazard, Sneijder, Robben, Ozil, Di Maria etc let alone Ronaldo.

LBI nails it

Stick Lampard in there as well b/c I don't see any scenario in which Pogba chips in with 20 or so goals next year.

Yeah it's 100% dependant on Martial, Rashford and Mkhitaryan (and Lingard…I guess) stepping up. I expect Rashford to improve this season but he's still pretty callow. Mkhitaryan should do better as well but he seems worryingly unsuited to the PL at times (he was like a different player in the Europa last year). Martial is the big question mark. He’s got more ability than anyone in the squad bar Pogba but he doesn’t seem to have developed his game at all since he arrived and possibly has a bit of an attitude problem.

We completely lack an orthodox wide player which is why Mourinho was seemingly so keen on Perisic but that deal appears to be dead now. Couple that with the fact that our full-backs, Valencia aside, are on the conservative (read: shite) side and it’s makes us annoyingly narrow and predictable

i think if liverpool get vvd that could make a big difference. either way i'm looking forward to another season of us playing largely entertaining football.

If Neymar leaves though does that make it odds on that Coutinho will be off to Barca?

Think it goes:

Neymar psg coutinho Barca keita vvd lfc *breakdown of civil society* rooney

Rooney shuffling into Carrington asking gotta light, gotta light

i doubt liverpool will sell coutinho. they would be mad to do so. and they won't get keita, maybe not even vvd. money is of almost no worth to liverpool this summer, plainly.

If Neymar leaves though does that make it odds on that Coutinho will be off to Barca?

― groovypanda, Wednesday, August 2, 2017 11:36 AM (two hours ago)

then again I read somewhere that Coutinho would only go to Barca if Neymar was there which sounds like bollocks tbh argh i dunno what to believe anymore

If neymar is worth 200m I can only imagine what Levy's internal ticker for Alli goes to

Spurs currently being linked to Giovanni Simeone, who ticks a lot of boxes, but the move would potentially hinge on whether Milan are willing to pay €30m for Nikola Kalinic, which isn't a sentence anyone would have imagined typing five years ago. If they buy Kalinic, Fiorentina would go after Simeone.

assuming Diego Costa does axctually leave this month, Chelsea have only got about 15 usable players in their squad. nowhere near enough now they're back in the Champs League. barring some pretty big investment before the window shuts I don't see them retaining. an awful lot hinging on how good Morata actually is, it's always been kinda difficult to judge before now. i'm looking forward to seeing him as the undisputed first choice striker for a top team for the first time.

i'd also be worried if i was a Man City fan - when Kompany gets crocked they're gonna be stuck with Stones, Otamendi and Mangala as their only centre backs and apparently Pep isn't interested in signing any more. seems a bit daft really considering the amount of money they're spending everywhere else

share the sinking feeling expressed upthread about Man Utd. it doesn't feel like the Matic transfer been greeted with any particular enthusiasm by the United fans but that Matic-Pogba-Herrera midfield combo just screams smothering, bullying efficiency. gonna be a lot of 1-0 set-piece-goal wins for them this season

Look this neymar thing for this neymar price is actually happening

i think if liverpool get vvd that could make a big difference. either way i'm looking forward to another season of us playing largely entertaining football.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, August 2, 2017 6:30 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ cosign

“Morata talked about myself, in the media – he said: ‘Mauricio called me,’” Pochettino said. “That was from the beginning, two years ago or more. He said to me: ‘Why do you want me if you have Harry Kane?’ You know, if you go to try to sign a striker, they will say: ‘Eh, gaffer, you want me for what? To be on the bench?”

I like the idea of Morata using the word 'gaffer' two years before coming to England.

El Gafferino

i think the implication there is Poch using it, not saying Morata did. i know that's not as good.

Even Conte said he'd prefer Kane :(

Chelsea will actually be starting the season with Fabregas and Kante as their midfielders

*only midfielders

presumably we're talking central mids, they got bakayoko too

Bakayoko is recovering from injury.

ah

Look this neymar thing for this neymar price is actually happening

― jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Wednesday, August 2, 2017 8:54 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this price makes complete sense to me when you consider that the last time a similarly feted player (and lets be honest a similarly commercially marketable player) playing for a similarly big club was bought by a club with almost unlimited resources it was Cristiano being signed by Real in 2009 for over 80m

There's possibly something to be gained by playing David Luiz as a stopgap defensive midfielder but that relies on Rudiger settling quickly.

Lol I didn't realise Hazard and Pedro were injured as well. How does a club with a basically limitless pile of money get its squad into this kind of threadbare state?

yeah it's mad right. fuck em, i really hope it bites them in the ass this season. Nathan Ake, Kurt Zouma, Nat Chalobah, Dominic Solanke, Ruben Loftus-Cheek, Bertrand Traore, Tammy Abraham - they have/had ridiculous young talent on the books but clearly no one in the hierarchy is interested. the most hateful aspect of a thoroughly hateful club.

also speaks pretty badly of Conte imo that he's not interested in making any use of any of those players. pretty striking compared with what has been achieved at Spurs under Poch. i guess it's fine though, they'll probably be buying Cuadrado back next summer at four times the price they sold him. wankers

What's been achieved with Conte is a league title but yeah id take our top fours the way we're doing it every time

eh sure, and credit to Conte for having turned the team round so spectacularly last season. when they only had 38 matches to worry about all year. Spurs are proof that you can compete in the Premier League by giving your young players a chance, provided the manager knows what he's about. all this "wahhhhhh how can we be expected to compete when we're not buying up all the top-level talent" bullshit that Conte and Mourinho (amongst others) indulge in just makes them look incompetent

Neymar's lawyer apparently turned up at the headquarters of La Liga with a cheque for €222m and they told him to get lost.

Reportedly some dodgy stuff going on around Neymar's role in the Qatar World Cup as well.

Bastillons of morality huh

Whole business is a bit ironic considering Barca suckled at the Qatari teat for years

Como le encanta la Gazzaniga? Dame mas Gazzaniga.

http://www.hitc.com/en-gb/2017/08/03/report-spurs-close-to-first-summer-signing-pochettino-lines-up-r/

Max Meyer rumour a bit more exciting.

Reportedly some dodgy stuff going on around Neymar's role in the Qatar World Cup as well.

― Matt DC, Thursday, August 3, 2017 11:19 AM (fifty minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Afaik he will be 'employed' by the WC Qatar organisation who are loaning him the 222m. That seems dodgy for Neymar himself first and foremost.

Whole business is a bit ironic considering Barca suckled at the Qatari teat for years

― Number None, Thursday, August 3, 2017 12:04 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The fact that Barca chose a different sponsor actively made the Qatari go the extra mile for this one iirc

did bbc.com/football get a new font or are my settings messed up?

Paid in full. Neymar's a free agent.

New font - Reith Sans, apparently.

That is some quality big baby giving himself a wedgy picture editing from the guardian

Neymar thing actually happened then.

wtf was the point of all that then? even if they win the champioons league (they wont) how does this possibly make financial sense for them? idgi

It doesn't have to make financial sense. PSG, Man City and Chelsea are vanity projects.

This is the same amount of money Qatar is allegedly spending every three days on World Cup construction, to contextualise it.

Money is anxumb way to keep score these days. Take it where you can, use it better than the gas giants. Outraged at fees, wages is an irritant.

United are going to be insufferable this season.

Ever

City and Chelsea have appeared weirdly reluctant to spunk crazy money on attacking talent, given they have just two senior strikers apiece at the moment.

On the assumption that Costa leaves, obviously.

Bale to United for £90m is a bit closer now apparently

hoffenheim prob the toughest draw liverpool could have got of the five possible ones. eek.

idk if Nice or Basaksehir would have been any better, tbh.

essentially the idea of a game liverpool should win is terrifying. they'd be better off if they had napoli or someone.

Napoli - Nice is a nice tie for mid-August

Basaksehir - Sevilla should be fun as well.

was hoping for Nice - Young Boys

Just taking in a stream of a friendly against a very good Torino side (1-1) in the blistering heat of Austria. Can't fucking wait for the real stuff to start!

Barca reportedly in for Ousmane Dembele to replace Neymar.

Feel like Hoffenheim is a better draw than Nice at this point, and Klopp will be familiar with them to an extent. The whole point is that it isn't easy to get into this thing though.

So

Should we be circling pay or what

brighton break their transfer record to sign davy pröpper

Good riddens imo. He had a great first season with us, but turned into a lazy, uninterested sack o' potatoes last season. He just wasn't motivated any more. Fair enough. Still rate him, he's intelligent and has a good pass, and can gear up when play is slow. Wish he'd done that for us more often.

If the reported 6m pounds is true there'll be riots in the streets of Eindhoven tonight iirc, should at least be double that.

circling psg xxp

god Coutinho is going isn't he

Yep

Think he's been overrated at Liverpool and as well sold if the money is good.

VvD has handed in a transfer request. He'll be about 2/3rd of a Coutinho right?

Nah, good deal less should think.

http://www.espnfc.us/story/3174603/liverpool-reach-agreement-to-sell-philippe-coutinho-to-barcelona-sources

god dammit

Oog

Mortified for Barca tbh

Yeah this is like swapping bake for paulinho

86m bake sale

They're actually signing Paulinho too. You couldn't make it up

Well he has the consistency coutinho lacks

barca in for dembele, too?

Fucks sake man my heart

Lingard is starting for Utd against Real. It's all pointless isn't it?

xp other dembele

Any title suggestions for the new PL thread?

Lingard is starting for Utd against Real. It's all pointless isn't it?

― Number None, Tuesday, August 8, 2017 6:59 PM (thirty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ehhhh look you're the ones that hired Jose Mourinho, you knew what you were getting. hard worker with tactical discipline for the big games, right?

also not convinced that it makes a blind bit of difference whether Lingard starts ahead of Martial and Rashford when this Man Utd side play this Real Madrid side

but I didn't hire him :(

anyway, the larger point is that it's an indictment of our recruitment policy that Jose still considers Lingard to be a viable starter in that position. You can be a hard worker with tactical discipline and still be productive in the final third. Lingard doesn't score or create goals, which is a fairly important quality for a winger/forward

United played puke players from from late fergie on

Real passed the ball around unhindered for what, three minutes straight there?

Roscommon united

Modric like "somebody skopme"

ref's seen enough

Gonna be too depressing when these bastards win the premier league this season

best league in the British isles

turns out Matic is our best player

by far

Can't wait for 3 more decades of steve gerrard criticising dynamic no. 8s of the day for their decision making abilities

the man knows an ineffectual Hollywood pass when he sees one

Isco doing for 6 Utd players at once with a fuckin 1-2, Jose sends on fellaini 🙂

Omg Lukaku chokes

Fuck sake

I'm gonna grow old and die waiting for mourinhos rumplestiltskin moment amnt i

turns out Fellaini is our best player

by far

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGvEEr6XcAQtU8a.jpg

find it hard to believe liverpool would sell coutinho for 1m more than the bid they refused a few weeks ago - or tbh at all, given the 120m or so they have been trying to spend on other players is worthless. not that hard to hold onto him for 3 weeks.

but if they do, it is one of the single stupidest fucking decisions they've done in a long history of such decisions. not because he's like the best player in the world, but because plainly they can't even sign eg naby keita for the same price.

Puts us in the running for bale tho!

ye

Autocorrect now.just flat contradictory

Sounds like Danny Rose is pretty keen on a move.

I'm not sure he'll get one, he'd be worth a lot more than Kyle Walker in today's market and I dunno who'd pay that. Levy is experienced enough at player standoffs to be able to deal with this one but I suspect this is the last season we'll get out of him.

If even a mild mannered player like Danny Rose is shooting his mouth off and acting like a pissy baby then you know things are fucked. The general level of whining and agitating this summer has been off the scale.

He very publicly backed walker a few months back, I dunno he's always had a beeline for the press ready going back to when he was a midfielder on loan at Sunderland.

50m and Luke Shaw, no bother.

"i want to play up north before the end of my career" has to be the worst excuse for wanting to sign for city ever

"i've been reading the comments on the food pages of the guardian and it sounds like paradise up there"

He must mean United rather than City at this stage, right?

Poch doesn't usually take any shit from his players so idk what happens next, but selling him would be taking his shit compared to forcing him to knuckle down and play another season. In any case, Poch is the main reason he's the Premiership's best LB in the first place.

i think rose's desire to return to the north is sincere

the north will rose again

confusingly, well for me anyway, there are 2 other lower league Danny Rose's who are roughly the same age. But anyways, once you've experienced the sun rising over a flat landscape with nothing but pylons + multiple coal burning power stations from the M1, it instils in you a lifelong yearning for Doncaster!

"i've been reading the comments on the food pages of the guardian and it sounds like paradise up there"
lol! You fookin irrepressible Londiniums!

feeling good about coutinho staying now.

touch wood

He doesn't strike me as the type of player who'll kick up a right stir in order to leave. Then again I though the same abt VvD.

it's prob similar to suarez, i mean apart from the biting, he'll be allowed to go next summer.

roy hodgson wouldn't even have tried this shit so early:

United won last season’s Europa League but Mourinho admits it is a challenge to try to catch Real, Barça and other continental heavyweights. He said: “Manchester United are one of the top three football clubs in the world, no doubt about it, but the football club is one thing and the team’s credentials going into a competition are another thing entirely. We have a giant on our chest, which is really heavy, but we don’t compare our potential to the biggest clubs in Europe right now.

“We’ll take it step by step and be humble. The first step is to try to finish in the top three. If we manage that, we’ll try to finish in the top two. Then, when you’re in the Champions League last 16 draw, anything can happen.”

Despite Forbes naming United in June as the world’s richest club, worth $3.69bn (£2.79bn), Mourinho claimed other teams have the finance to compete, again making his task harder.

“Because Manchester United is a real giant, it doesn’t matter if the club is somewhat far away from that level for three, four, five or 10 years. It doesn’t matter: the club will always be a giant. But our job is to try to bring the football club back to that stature. That’s really difficult these days,” he said.

"Ousmane Dembele was not in training. We do not know why. We tried to reach him but were unable to," Bosz said.

"I talked to Dembele yesterday. He told me he was in Paris with his friends. He did not say anything about a transfer."

"There was no sign that he would not be here. We hope nothing terrible has happened."

Dortmund got ghosted

"I have asked the chairman to stop trying to call him as it occurred to me he could be trying to call us."

The general level of whining and agitating this summer has been off the scale.

The tabloids are reporting that the Spurs squad is fully behind Rose, which shouldn't really come as a surprise when Harry Kane earns £30k a week less than Sead Kolasinac. I can't see the current wage structure being remotely sustainable.

Spurs are currently being linked to Davinson Sanchez, who was excellent for Ajax last year at CB, but Levy is apparently offering £10m below their valuation and Barca are also interested.

Is there a new PL thread yet?

Didn't realise there was a game tonight.

Sanchez will no doubt move on to great things, no idea how much Ajax will want for him in this market. 40m?

No new thread yet. C'mon people, we need title suggestions.

'Tottenham are still a big club' is sadly starting to feel relevant again

"Liverpool won't tap up the Premiership"

"Marouane Fellaini is our best player actually"

"The Best Sports Entertainment League in the World"

"We’ll take it step by step and be humble."

"It doesn’t matter: the club will always be a giant."

there haven't been enough standout terrible quotes.

"I'd love us to sign some players you don't have to Google"

Meanwhile:

BREAKING: @Phil_Coutinho hands @LFC an official transfer request - Sky sources. #SSN pic.twitter.com/Ju1vtSwKLJ

— Sky Sports News (@SkySportsNews) August 11, 2017

Already denied by Liverpool

denial is my approach too

Apparently they'll be after Eriksen if they can't get Coutinho so I'm kind of hoping you're disappointed.

See you next season, mate.

— Spurs In The Blood (@SpursInTheBlood) August 11, 2017

as i already said the money is essentially worthless to liverpool - they were trying to buy ketia and vvd for a combined total of 120m or more, so not sure what an extra 80m will do. i would imagine they can tough it out and keep him.

there haven't been enough standout terrible quotes.

I blame this entirely on the decline of Real Football Men managing in the Premiership.

The Real Football Men will be finding Championship jobs hard to get next and going to L1/L2, these oligarchs know they are all mainly duds, and the British club-owners all also catching on.

Money means nothing and no kicks for free

Newcastle fans pissing and moaning about TV fixtures on the radio. they shd boycott telly.

these Geordies don't half love to lay it on about how hard their lot is, even when they were top of the table last season ffs!

lol arsenal

on pace for a high-scoring season

the arsenal lineup in "defence' is a tragedy

and i say that as a liverpool fan

lol, this game looks like Coritiba vs Atletico Goianiense in the brazilian league

in the end WEnger will put Giroud and cross balls into the box

Wenger out, blud

Arsenal: still hilarious.

Think they will win this though.

they're creating enough to do so

Fam out

Wenger back in.

awww, where's the fun in that?

i'm sure TV football pundits will respond to this game in a measured and thoughtful manner and not use it as a bellwether for the quality of the coming season

Two defensively shite teams. Lacazette looks handy

Tony Pulis has signed a one-year contract extension to keep him at West Brom until 2019.

Pulis is joined on the bench this year by new assistant manager and former Hawthorns boss Gary Megson.

Wow, one can't imagine the excitement and romance of being a WBA fan right now. I'm so jealous.

they get really pissy when you laugh about it

Stoke fan @DRK_Jacob asked Shawcross: "What was it like seeing Pulis headbutt James Beattie naked?"
To which, the official account responded "It was a spectacle."

The charming dressing room etiquette of the Real Football Man.

They are the Co-op of the prem. "our insipid ready-meals only use meat derivatives scraped off the floor of British knacker's yards".

I assume we're still using this thread as some sort of protest against the league starting on Friday night?

Gonna go with 'Thread of real players you don't have to Google - EPL 2017/18' unless anyone has any better ideas.

OMG.

‘I can just about remember Trevor Francis becoming the first £1m footballer in Britain in 1979. Even allowing for inflation over the last 38 years, Neymar is not worth 198 Trevor Francises, nor 100, nor a dozen. I’m not even sure he’s a better player, full stop.’

This is some real cometh the hour cometh the man shit from Robbie Savage here.

RS has done more to bring 606 down to the level of Talksport than anyone else imo. I'm not saying it was ever a great show in my lifetime. But I find it completely un-listenable since he has been on board.

An old friend of mine who had a fairly boring non-league career, once stayed at the RS mansion while he was having a Leicester trial. Even though he is a pretty diabolical person himself, he was pretty shocked at how arrogant and full of shit some of the young prem "stars" were.

"Neymar is not worth 198 Terry Francises"

Even allowing for inflation!

198 Terry Francises wouldn't be worth much on the pitch, you need 11 Terry Francises at most. Any more would result in an oversupply of Terry Francises, crashing the Terry Francis price overnight. This is basic economics.

aye you have to be careful with that genetic replication QE game.

I like how he says 'even allowing for inflation' and then immediately compares costs not allowing for inflation.

'Even allowing for inflation, this thread is not worth 198 Terry Francises' - Liverpool won't win the Premiership 2017-18