Thread of random football team formations you just invented

         lloris
        lucio          pique
rafinha                           zhirkov
               banega
       essien             anderson
               iniesta
      
          messi     villa

               Robinson
Stalteri    Gardner    Rocha     Lee
Ghaly    Zokora     Jenas      
      Keane        Doherty    
Manager: M Jol
Defensive Coach: C Armstrong
Transfers: D Commolli

Hilariously, I cannot think of a left midfielder that I wouldn't want back at the club- or maybe it's just that we haven't actually had one since Andy Sinton (who, frankly, I didn't mind)

                   Zaluska
Wilson  Thompson   O'Dea   McGeady
              N'Guemo
Keane Fortune Rasmussen McGowan Samaras

Oh wait, no, that's a Tony Mowbray invention, my bad.

^ actual finishing lineup against St Mirren, with Aiden McGeady at left back and FIVE centre forwards on the pitch.

                   Bonner
                   McGrath
                   Keane
                   Quinn

Play for a draw, maybe scrape a long ball in off quinny's head imo

    Boruc
nine other people
     Keane

^ Celtic from now until end of season

Seriously, the 9-1 formation might just work against SPL midfields.

Non-Arsenal Arsenal XI:

         David James
Bentley   Rio   thudd   Taylor
       Rafael da Silva
   Yossi    Gamst    Joe Cole
       Berbatov
                 Ngog

Not getting the resonance tbh

Bonner

McGrath

Keane

Quinn

Christ, that's beautiful.

i debated putting in the filler, but i mean rly it would have diluted the greatness

needs 1 more for the greatest 5-a-side team ever ( ignoring the head height rule of course)

Bonner, McGrath, Keane, Quinn, Cruyff

yes.

Team talk from Big Jack- "Johann, we all know you're only here to make up the numbers, so none of your fancy shit"

                    jasskelainen
           bramble     zayatte       cahill
n'zogbia          diame          bullard            belhadj
                        j mccarthy
                 utaka
                                elmander

 
                   James
G Johnson   R Ferdinand  A Ferdinand  P Konchesky
       N Reo-Coker      M Carrick
                F Lampard
                 J Cole
       J Defoe           C Cole

(If anyone could recommend viable alternatives for James (but not S Bywater, be serious) Konchesky and C Cole, then feel free.

what funny games you people play

ey submit a formation or gtfo imo

^^^^

btw came close to SBannin u 4 submission of a midfield of iniesta, essien and fuckin anderson, regardless of context.

don't be a twat

anderson is a great fkn player and you are all idiots (as alex ferguson said about veron)

if utd or brazil played that formation, he wd start for both

eh,

you're forgetting two things-

d gibson

l leiva

trying to do an alcoholic XI, thinking of mcgrath, adams, adriano, ortega.....

man u team sheet, october 86

disciplinary nightmare XI would sweep all before them, that's why it's the best sport in the world.

You'd have to have Merse just in case it goes to penalties.

shit yeah, robson and whiteside midfield, ortega amid and adriano waddling dolefully about upfront

need flanks and gk tho

unsubstantiated rumours one would be good. although probs just be the current england XI

paul robinson undoubtedly drinks to excess, surely you can't be such a pie-deomlisher and suddenly get all disciplined on a friday night.

need garrinca rw obv

pobinson possibly not in that class

*garrincha

nev southall always looked like he'd had a few

robinson was in a special class at school because all the other children starved or were eaten

and duh, bestie obviously.

best was a drinker?

that was quite an oversight xp

suppose he could cut in from lw as is the current fad....

afaik miguel might qualify for rb

Gazza?

displaces ortega at amid

need lb

alan ball?

Kenny Sansom for lb

emlyn hughes?

Paddy Kenny

poor paddy kenny has been humiliated enough imo

 L Messi 

^ shitty goalie tbh

                gomes
          vidic       gallas
behrami                         cole
         cana           song
               lampard
n'zogbia                     malouda
               torres

               handanovič
        ivanović       vidić
srna                           pranjić
               stanković
  krasić        modrić     rakitić
        vučinić       jovetić

The No-Thudd FC

                          Cesar

Rooney         Song                    Pique

                   Cesc           Xavi

                        Messi                      Iniesta

                             Totti

             Zlatan                      Berbatov

         Buffon
Sagna     Pepe    Vermaelan   Clichy
         Essien     Cesc
Messi           Kaka         Ronaldo
               Drogba

The 'sure i could have spent an extra 500k, but i'm arsene fucking wenger' xi.

Still don't think i'm ever going to forgive him for cocking up the Cristiano transfer and spending the next couple years fucking around with Reyes, Baptista, Eduardo etc.

         Buffon
Sagna     Pepe    Vermaelan   Clichy
         Essien - just remembered Chelsea outbid us by 6m     Cesc
Messi           Kaka         Ronaldo
       Drogba        Zlatan

messi wd never have joined you

the big teams all have huge scouting systems and wd have files on these players

the difference is that wenger talks all the time about his near misses whereas other ppl keep schtum

                          Lloris
Santon            Pique              Song           Bale
      how old is Modric?/Pjanic  Barca's Fabregas
Messi                     Wilshere               Di Maria
      tbh most young strikers suck, Higuain maybe?
Subs: Hart, some dude, Gibbs, Busquiets or whatever, Gourcuff, Super Mario, Neymar.

I dunno, we were negotiating with him as Cesc and Clichy really started to get into the first team and if Barca didn't fast track him, it could have happened.

no it wouldn't

agents flash their skirts for other teams at contract renewal/selling time

see also kenyon, p & ronaldinho's shyster elder brother, manchester 2003

never wd have

                   Buffon
Cassani Nesta-out-of-retirement Chiellini Criscito
                 De Rossi
                             Pirlo
          hey aquliani got six assists this season!
  bring back Cassano               Di Natale
                   the american Rossi

that team can still win a world cup, right? right?

meh, a bunch of great barca products got ignored and fucked off the first half of the decade - cesc, reina, arteta, pique, lols santos

Italy could field a team made of Dolmio grandmothers, and still inexplicably find themselves in the final.

arteta and ipswich town's finest gio dos santos def belong in the same category as messi

tbh most young strikers suck; pato and aguero are huge talents! not playing for good teams this year but at 20/21 have already done great things

italy; yeah they probably are, the cunts

             alnwick
         rocha     gardner
hutton                       gilberto
bentley    ghaly  boateng  dos santos
          taarabt
                    mido

Near-death experience XI is strong:

                 Cech
Battiston  Woodgate  Davenport  Panucci
    Gascoigne  Souness  Maradona
      Hartson  Adebayor  Lentini

you fucker, I was just researching that one. what happened to Woodgate, Davenport and Panucci then?

ok Davenport I know. Was thinking of Peter, forgot Calum.

Haha. Panucci missed a plane that crashed out of JFK in 98 or so. Woodgate = not his own.

Any number of ex-Newcastle managers to take charge. Cudicini still can't get a game.

Too lazy to look into it but I'm pretty sure you could have a great sex scandal team (Terry, Ribery, Benzema among recent ones).

Also, a hoy hoy, your young team is quite nice except I hope Fabregas is damn good at defensive midfield because Pjanic sure isn't.

defending is for public school nancy boys who like long words :D

(I couldn't think of a terrific young centre half/defensive midfielder other than Song. I don't really see the appeal of Busquiets whenever I watch him, and other than that there is what... Mikel? Gago? Banega? Meh.)

alex song isn't a terrific young centre half, at dmid he's probably as good as anyone that age - moussa sissoko looks more gifted but less proven

the hyped cb's right now are kjaer and sahko arent't they?

but these aren't positions for kids, generally speaking

josh thompson & darren o'dea.

jk

              alnwick         
hutton  rocha     gardner    gilberto
bentley    ghaly  boateng  dos santos          
        taarabt                
                   mido

harsh on mido, taarabt (idiot though) and dos santos, but jesus christ yeah my eyes hurt just looking.

alnwick >>>>>> robinson

                          julio cesar
maicon    samuel    lucio   cambiasso   zanetti    chivu  eto'o
             motta (:X)                         
                    sneijder    
                  
                         milito

that kenyan dude was a superb RWB in the closing stages

supremely impressive stuff from mourinho

with a bit of karma as the 12th man w/ disallowed goal

karma for two penalties not given and one offside goal in the first leg?

                    valdes
alves      milito      pique      abidal
               fabregas       
           xavi       iniesta
  
     messi                    pedro
       
                 villa 

supposedly....

pedro just hasn't convinced me yet if i'm honest. then, neither has bojan. it's probably tough to catch the eye on the opposite flank to messi.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEjI7_BKU9s

pedro just hasn't convinced me yet if i'm honest. then, neither has bojan. it's probably tough to catch the eye on the opposite flank to messi.

they're still kids but pedro has an amazing shots conversion ratio, near inzaghi levels this season (23 goals)

yeah that's why i feel p dumb having a go (which i'm not)- more of a striker than a LW/RW.

they have too many good players already

never fuckin satisfied

well i'm more than happy to take their rejects and loan them to ipswich, it's working out well so far.

              Buffon
Sagna        Caceres      Vermaelan     Clichy
              Song           Yaya
                    Nasri
van Injury                          Arshavin
                 Ibrahamovic

Zlatan, Cacares and Yaya being the three names I've seen as a swap, Buffon just for wet dreams.

^ that could actually be brilliant

               Green
Johnson  Ferdinand  Terry   Cole
               Barry
     Gerrard          Lampard
Lennon                       J Cole
               Rooney

hmmm.

insufficently random, but yeah w/ king instead of terry that's about as good as could be

but personally:

                  James
Johnson      King        Ferdinand      A Cole
Lennon      Barry        Lampard       Gerrard
           Crouch         Rooney

xp was considering King ahead of one of the central midfielders, actually

352? HE'S TALKING 352!

the second one just screams courageous rearguard action as they chase shadows vs [latin team] 2-0 up with 76% possession

midfield is too ...... cloggy.

thudd/modric works because modric unclogs the englishman.

joe cole as the stinging wasp to free things up?

                 casillas
            pepe         vidic
maicon                            kolarov
         alonso          gerrard
                  kaka
  
   c ronaldo                   di maria
                 higuain

giving up on a cole so easily?

as in ashley to madrid? they'll probably table an offer which abramovich will refuse, it wd depend upon ashley kicking up an unholy fuss to get his way, maybe even threatening to score an own goal or something

would he be capable of that? need i ask?

BYE ASHLEY

miss u boo

Former Yugoslavia XI

Stojkavic
Ivanovic Lukovic Vidic Kolarov
Srna Modric Stankovic Vucinic
Dzeko Pandev (Olic?)

wanted to include a slovenian player, but don't know anything about any of them.

did one of those

Thread of random football team formations you just invented

handanovič is slovene

they'd have one the best squads in the world pretty much, only spain, brazil and maybe france cld compare

I was trying to compile a Commonwealth XI but it's really just an England XI with Essien and Samuel Eto'o, and he only gets in on a technicality.

World Cup Star Chris Killen Overlooked in Commonwealth XI Shocker

on the other hand, the Commonwealth cricket XI would be hard to beat

yeah the all-ireland hurling team would be fucking killer too, for much the same reason

             King
Rooney   King   King    King
King     King   King    King
       King        King

             pfunkboy
James Mitchell   Matt DC  Swygart   Ismael
            MPx4a    darraghmac
                 Suedey
nakhchavin                           lj
                Jibe

?

lj ain't gonna thank you for putting him on my left side, i gotta be honest with you.

left out a couple of major names there, the press ain't gonna like that

yeah once i started doing it i started to regret it.

also surprising how nearly no ilxers scream 'centre forward'

most prob should have just been 11 full backs

graft graft graft, that's us.

Local Garda as the occasionally-appearing sub to bollock the team into action

I think of Jibe as an artful, Berbatov style striker.

diving foreigner imo

slowest left back ever I warn you - I bomb forward like the kitty hawk

still not happy about Carragher as cover though

Ha! last time I played forward in a team, I was 10 I think. Will do my best tho for the ilx team. I'm more of a tall and kinda slow guy in defense, with ok placement.

Is the poster known as 'Local Garda' from Lake Garda in Italy?

so who are the big hitters I missed? noodle (heskey-esque), ailsa (tricky winger bought on to mess up tired wingers), myself and ronan (def mid?)... anyone else?

I am more Gattuso without the speed or finesse tbh

also winger bought on to mess up wingers? gah my tired typing.

Is the poster known as 'Local Garda' from Lake Garda in Italy?

― Chris, 26 May 2010 12:38 (25 minutes ago) Bookmark

Most assuredly not. Irish dude iirc.

Onimo, Pete_W, Tom D., Blueski, r|t|c, michael jones, loadsa others (apologies to those i missed off top of head)

I'm kind of like the tabloid media - I hold up the words that actually come out of Rafa's mouth for public scrutiny, and Liverpool fans call me biased and accuse of making it up.

don't think i've played football since i was about 13 but yeah probably not rw, given that i used to be more of a lazy goalhanging cunt, think van basten size but w/out the supreme skill, deftness of touch, imagination, workrate or commitment

that wd be klaas-jan huntelaar i guess

Lol Heskey

Laying the ball off to more talented players

Remeber when Heskey was a genuinely exciting powerful runner beast?

not sure there wd be many of those round here

i'm powerful, in a quiet way.

i'm a beast tbf

i'm exciting

extra "c" there

full disclosure- i'm running a bit this weather too.

ok, between three of us we're as good as the joek heskey. humbling.

i'm powerful, in a quiet way

maybe if yr catatonically slow, 6'3, 220lb and can hit a few 80 yard crossfield passes and thunderous half-volleys from 25 yards, you could be.....

no i shan't say it

also i'm a fairly good goalkeeper at amateur parks-football level. no lie. much as i am indeed left-footed and fancy myself a tricksy WF with a half-decent shot and an eye for a pass, i'm best deployed betwixt the stixts

nakhchivan i imagine to be a studious full-back, although as he's so damn secretive i have no idea really. if only dom were around to unearth him eh

that's about as wrong as cld be, see above

...you're playing full-back then. next!

i can't work out if this is about metaphorical positions or real ones any more

would the metaphorical XI beat the real XI i wonder

anyway as nakhchivan's revealed himself as being tall but bereft of the more refined footballing talents, full-back it is. or maybe midfield 'spoiler'. god knows we need a michael brown. it's ok dude, you can have a shower afterwards

how wd an ilx fav xi look, considering good rather than 'cult' players?

                        friedel
            king                     vermaelen
rooney                                                bale
          huddlestone              essien
 
                        iniesta
messi                                             arshavin
                       berbatov

no Kitson no credibility.

Jol to manage

dude you have GOT to have bullard and kitson in there

bullard instead of essien, kitson instead of messi

maybe if yr catatonically slow, 6'3, 220lb and can hit a few 80 yard crossfield passes and thunderous half-volleys from 25 yards, you could be.....

i was 210 lbs three months ago, but unfortunately i'm near half a foot short of the lofty male ideal as personified by thudd

rafa to manage, surely

then do the xi of crap 'lol legend' players

Not sure if even Messi is good enough to carry Arshavin AND Berbatov when they're in a huff (ie 80% of the time).

playing next to messi and not nani/diaby would surely make some difference

tbh at u-13 level i was pretty technical but lazy to the nth degree, so it was almost completely devoted to finishing skills, a much larger post-injury michael owen iykwim

if forced to play in another position i'd probably let them pay out my contract and go home

essien, bale and rooney do enough running to retrieve possession when arshavin and berbabtov lose it

i don't think berbatov has ever lost possession?

KERLON cult never caught on :(

two dudes who rattle him at 0.23 need to play right back and right back alongside Rooney
KERLON

oops
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Yj7GoXPZw

kerlon is owned by inter iirc and has been loaned out w/out success

There was an actual ILx side once - and they lost 7 or 8 nil to a bunch of Belle and Sebastian fans: Anoraks for goalposts

I'd sign Kerlon for the lols before the talent tbh "lol seal dribble OOOOOH he's been hammered again!" - it would infuriate the fuck out of every opposing team week in week out. You can't tackle a guy doing that so you just *have* to hit him.

Carlos Cuellar needs to be in the Legends XI. Player of the year iirc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBXv5FISzjg

Contrary to the expectations of many, Kerlon has failed to make an impression. According to BBC Sport journalist Tim Vickery, Kerlon's inexperience and injuries have impeded his ability to make a strong showing at the bigger football clubs.[5] On 31 August, AFC Ajax signed the Brazilian forward from Inter on loan with an option to buy him.

and he's 5'5

there's a disney melodrama in there somewhere about the little kid with the mad skilzzz who gets the shit kicked out of him every week, but i'm not sure what the redemption phase wd look like and what counts as success for kerlon

not getting the shit kicked out of him every week would do for a start

true

Kerlon: The Little Boy Who Lived

Seals Can Dribble Too, Momma- The inspiring tale of one boy's fight to survive

He was born to have the shit kicked out of him every week. When Ajax fails I want to see the guy in a Hibs jersey attempting to skip through a pack of Kilmarnock cloggers.

I dunno, he survived Italy.

It's like when people say 'Yeah, but fing is, right, can Modric REEEALLY take the physical challenge of the Premiership, innit?" when the guy had to play against Serbian Mentalists from age 5 or w/e

I like how Rooney automatically gets the right-back slot in all these formations and it isn't even a joke anymore

so when's the next ILX kickabout

as the probably origin of the meme, let me assure you it's not a joke.

apologies in advance for rinsing y'all

if that's a bodily fluids reference then an irl meeting with the famous lj is clearly still something never to be forgotten

i've met probably about 50 ilxors and none of them have been quite the same since

threat

We're gonna be in Loldon over the weekend but sadly I don't think I'll have time for fappage or soccerball :(

LEAVE YOUR FAMILY GOING ROUND THE LONDON EYE FOR AN AFTERNOON AND HAVE A PINT WITH THE LADS OF ILX

if we were staying longer but I fear it won't happen this go round

daniel sturridge just joined chelsea

                       kameni
 
            touré k               diakhaté
eboué                                         taiwo
                             touré y
            essien      
                                         s keita
odemwingie
              drogba       eto'o

              Buffon
           Vidic             Pique
Ramos                                 Chiellini
                             Pirlo
           Xavi
                   Lampard
Ronaldo                              Sneijder
                    Villa

?

which team wd win?

imma do europe and s america teams too but they're a bit harder

well there's always a question mark over the african goalkeepers for me /bigron

lampard gtfo with all due

chiellini at lb and over evra/cole/lahm? this formation wd work better imho

               pirlo
xavi                       lampard
             sneijder
      c ronaldo
                    villa

you have tried to insert a duplicate message

lampard gtfo with all due

amirite

sayin

nobody watching playoff?

millwall looking good value.

i am but it was a shit, shit goal

who is better than lamps tho? iniesta maybe? cesc isn't there yet? can't with all seriousness consider someone scottish so...?

ok yeah i guess evra over chiellini, just wanted lol italian defending

lol the offside goal was 'a grey area' because the offside player 'didn't score the goal'

they should have a dunce hat on hand in these studios.

who is better than lampard in a three man centre?

personally i'd have 5 or 6 playing in england alone ahead of him

chelsea have been set up to benefit lampard for a long time, and it works and all that but imo he should be happy with england starting place and a place in the premier league XI and not go pushing his luck

in nakhchivan's forward VI above, frinstance, i'd definitely have iniesta in there for movement. pirlo, xavi and sneijder are all godlike threaders of the ball, but there nobody to pull defenders around to make the space. and frank can only run in straight lines, momentum being the immutable force it is.

                         julio cesar
  
                lucio                  samuel
maicon                                              vargas
  
              mascherano
                                  lucho gonzalez
                        
                          kaká
    
     messi                                 ronaldinho
                        higuaín

lucho before cambiasso though? suppose mascherano does most of the same job.

controversial inclusion of lazy ron A+ imo

that was another option but yeah i think you'd need a more advanced cmid otherwise mascherano and cambiasso wd get isolated from the very attack-minded kaká

i'm not sure how coherent that team wd be, but i think you'd need a rly good playmaker for a s/american team and diego, riquelme etc don't convince for various reasons - there's enough quick, direct players to compensate for ronnie

shd rly have zanetti over vargas to cover the huge gaps he'd leave in defence tho

ronnie before tevez?

surely in terms of playmaking - especially from the wing - there's no comparison

tevez' 29 goals this season have troubled me hugely, because in all aspects other than stamina and directness he's pretty average

totally agree

same conundrum for 22 goal lampard

am a big lampard fan personally but also a mentalist so disregard

would maybe want a more physical presence than higuain on his own up front, would plump for milito myself i think

xp i don't think lampard is average, but i must admit it took 4 or 5 15+ goal seasons for me to change my mind.

his positioning/timing, ball striking and consistency are all world class.

and y'know, maybe that's enough in this crazy world where you get ballack and essien to babysit you for everything else

consummate lampard moment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b9UboMvy2E

his strike against everton in the same game as the goal drogba took all the plaudits for is one of my faves

srsly considering gerrard as cmid for the europe team

i know i know he's better playing off the cf etc, but if you have xavi and iniesta to do the complex stuff, gerrard can do the running around and kicking ppl stuff

the other names aren't all that imo, there's no cambiasso or essien

the Famous December '06 GOTM innit xp

at least i think it was the same game, but anyway:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6xI9cGwhUs&feature=related

yeah gerrard would be a v good presence in that midfield i think, but you need to have players around him that won't be put off by his playground level of positioning and teamplay.

which is where england are in trouble when they treat him as a reliable central pillar imo.

OH WHAT A MISS

A MISS OF CLASS AND GUILE

he's gonna deny to his grandkids that he was ever a footballer imo

this is just adding hilarious pathos to the massive mark clemmit interview with his entire extended family on R5 earlier, saying how joyful they'd be if he scored the goal to send them up

all speaking with awed tones of his fairytale ascent from Poole Town FC

“When I was director of football at Real Madrid I had to evaluate the players coming through the youth ranks. We had some who were very good footballers. They had technique, they had athleticism, they had drive, they were hungry.

"But they lacked what I call knowing-how-to-play-football. They lacked decision making. They lacked positioning. They didn't have the subtle sensitivity of football: how a player should move within the collective. And for many, I wasn't sure they were going to learn".

“You see, strength, passion, technique, athleticism, all of these are very important. But they are a means to an end, not an end in itself. They help you reach your goal, which is putting your talent at the service of the team and, by doing this, making both of you and the team greater.

"In situations like that, I just have to say, Gerrard's a great footballer, but perhaps not a great player."

(arrigo sacchi)

arrigo saachi doesn't need me to say arrigo saachi otm but arrigo saachi otm

football's loss was marketing's gain, truly

whereas lampard pwns all of that shit, really. maybe he'd be a good shout in the european XI with those players, but it irks a little.

                        casillas
             ferdinand            piqué               
srna                                            cole
               xavi           gerrard
   iniesta
                                           c ronaldo
               villa         torres           

that fucking idiot ronaldo needs to be accomodated somewhere i guess

kinda unbalances the team tho.....

^ weak manager imo

in that particular team, agree that you wouldn't have him, unless you called a spade a spade and went 433

c ronaldo out, huddlestone in behind the three in midfield. the legend grows

the simple solution wd be to do 4-3-3 and have villa on one side, which wd probably be how that team wd actually play

can't abide the idea of david villa (the best cf in the world) being shunted to the wings to make room for fake ronaldo tho

torres coming in from the left of a three, villa central, ronaldo right?

he's not actually all that as a winger is the problem.

torres no good on the wings, villa is useful there (kinda like henry)

rly the issue is ronaldo, i don't think anyone has fully integrated him into their team since he became insanely prolific, he completely disrupts the shape of the team

ferguson's concession that he couldn't turn ronaldo into a winger and turnign the team inside out to suit him gave him three titles and left him with the current shambles + 3 years of rooney p much wasted.

i recognise that i'm a naive purist, but still think it was the wrong call by fergie.

the last time he was played in a ~vaguely~ coherent attacking unit was in 06/07 where he, rooney and giggs played in a kinda fluid 4-2-3-1 behind saha, w/ scholes and carrick cm

that was a great team imo

then it was rooney and tevez playing virtually as decoys/worker bee drones whilst ronaldo did all the high-value stuff

hate to contradict u man, but p sure rooney was deployed a little further back than that in 06/07, alternating with g neville iirc

haha

can't for the life of me put a time on when that started, but it retrospectively applies in any case

        Given
Corluka   Toure   King   Bale
Modric   Barry   Palacios Johnson
        Tevez   Adebayor

if man city bought spurs.

                  given
            king      kompany
corluka                            bridge
               huddlestone
lennon                              bale
                 modric
         adebayor       tevez

The Prince/Boateng XI (1-4-2-3 formation, Princes and Boatengs don't do defending)

				Osei Boateng
				Jerome Boateng 
Derek Boateng		Kevin-Prince Boateng		George Boateng			Luke Prince		
		Prince Buaben		Prince Koranteng Amoako
				
	Robert Boateng 			Prince Tagoe			Prince Nana Takyi

Got to get Paul and Ozwald involved too somehwo

xpost to different thread's conversation last night, feel free to fill in the gaps:

France at 2014:

      Lloris
Sagna   Sakho    ????  Evra
Nasri   Lass   Gourcuff Ribery
      Benzema  Remy

???

boumsong, rafa

Ciani, Rami, Koscielny (if he doesn't decide to play for Poland before) to fill in that blank. Would rather Toulalan than Lass. And in the strikers, instead of Rémy you've also got Gameiro and Gignac will still be there.

Still find it hard to believe that gouffran isn't tearing it up at RW/CF tbh

(i'm still playing pro evo 2010, yes)

how Mexes, manager who doesn't inexplicably never pick Mexes?

I just assumed that if Mexes isn't being picked in his prime then as he will be post-30 it'll be even less likely. In a Carragher role maybe.

Is (Arsenal's?) Koscielny any good btw?

Talked quickly about him on the offseason transfer thread. Don't have too much to say, haven't seen much of him. Quick, not a big and strong type. Still not ready to believe that Arsenal are buying him, he only played for one season in Ligue 1, the previous years he was in Ligue 2. Also willing to believe that Lorient might not sell him (unless you say the sale is official).

                   romero
            samuel       otamendi        heinze
tevez       
                  mascherano
   pastore
                                     di maria
                    messi
           aguero
                           higuain

srsly

that wd be my favourite team from the strange set of players maradona has selected

http://u.goal.com/34500/34586_news.jpg

been having fun h8ing this guy

what's not to like?

his birdy face, his gestures, his haircuts, his histrionic jump up in in the air contort snap str8 dives. good player tho.

good player tho.

― Gohamist (zvookster), Saturday, 19 June 2010 01:05 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeh i like the team as a whole too so far. will not be mad when they do well.

The 'If I was Capello, my team for the next England match + subs':

        Hart
Clyne?  Dawson   Cahill  Gibbs
       Rodwell   THUDD
           Arteta
Theo                    Johnson
          Gabby?
Bring back Shilton?, Bramble, Mancienne, Wilshere, Young, Cole, Delfonso

"can rodwell and thudd play together?"

^ this is your next decade, england fans

micah richards the forgotten man at rb. there's a player of note in there somewhere

Thudd's not going to ever sniff the England team imo. Unless Harry gets the job I guess.

Lennon and Rooney to eventually get their place back, the rest of 'em can get tae fuck. Oh and it turns out Hargreaves is still alive, making thudd lose his place. England win the next two competitions, The Sun still wants Capello dead.

when england can build a team around huddlestone, you'll have passed footballing adolescence again.

he is your generation's le tissier.

p certain we didn't build a team around le tissier either ;_;

that's what i'm saying. it's a hurdle you must o'erleap or at which fore'er fall

srsly huddlestone is good but no le tissier

agbonlahor is so far below top level it's untrue

high hopes for adam johnson, rodwell &wilshere but england are fucked basically

ashley young is a prospect,

agbonlahor > heskey imo, could tick a lot of boxes re: pace, directness, strength.

huddlestone's good, no le tissier, but easier to incorporate into a team framework too

having gabby was just a lol who the fuck you pick?

just think he should drop EVERYONE except dawson, hart, mebbe lennon and make everyone play their way back into HIS team and until then we are stuck with gabby or darren

certainly the promise that players would need form and to fight for their places was proven to be a bit of a joke in the end.

can't understand how coaches

great brazil goal

don't have that as an immutable pre-requisite for running their teams

need a team of premier league players who haven't been total shit in the world cup

PRINCE will play #10

             Kingson
Jonas  
       
         Prince Rogers Nelson

can't be bothered with the rest.

Michael Dawson
Peter Crouch

robinho

kuyt (/dies a little inside)
de jong

dos santos

Heitinga's at Everton.

Cashley, sadly.

Was sure I'd typed Cashley but yeah, absolutely

Tevez, Dempsey, Park, Lee, Nelsen - Best League In The World XI would have a fighting chance of getting through the group stages

Can we claim donovan for this?

Yeah, I reckon so.

Should we ostracise / terrorise (Scottish) David Moyes for bringing American spies into our midst, which allowed the USA to manage a draw against us?

You go ahead, i'm sure the rest of us will be cowering somewhere in a bunker behind you.

            Torres
      Babel           Kuyt
             Maxi
 J.Cole                  G.Johnson
             Lucas
     Agger   Skrtl   Carragher
          
             Reina

I guess no-one does that flying wingback thing anymore for a reason, right?

in what league would a team need three centre halves?

idk.

agger comfortable enough on the ball to play advancing into midfield imo, tho i'm not gonna be convinced about j cole there sorry

^

visionary insight tbh

joe cole is alright i spose

not very clever but better than the sort of attacking mids the top pl teams usually favour (dull hard-working types like park, swp, jovanovic etc)

eh that's stretching 'usually' tbh. park, swp barely get/got games, jovanovic has never played for a top 4 team

                pletikosa(?)
reid       boateng   koscielny        kolarov
      ramires                touré
                  silva
  balotelli                   fernandez  
                 chamakh

Interesting comparison between Cole and Nasri from yesterday's game showing how ineffective Cole was:
http://www.zonalmarking.net/2010/08/15/liverpool-arsenal-reina-error/

reid?

as i said chris, i only saw the first half, and i didn't think anyone was particularly great in it (gerrard and jovacevic showed up, i guess)

not that impressive compared to the likes of c ronaldo, essien, drogba, carvalho, cech, robben, makélélé, crespo, torres that moved from 2003-2007

if barcelona bought silva or arsenal bought balotelli then they'd be first rate prospects, but the chances of them living up to their promise at city are significantlyy diminished

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Reid_%28footballer%29

who's getting reid?

uhm

He made his Premier League debut, on 14 August, in a 3-0 loss to Aston Villa. [8]

£4m supposedly

i'm lost. still playing for midgetland in that profile?

not very clever but better than the sort of attacking mids the top pl teams usually favour (dull hard-working types like park, swpgerrard, jovanovicballack when he was bought etc)

― nakhchivan, Monday, 16 August 2010 16:09 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i think balotelli would be lost on arsenal tbh. if he was at spurs next to pav then they'd be the shit but alas...

yeah gerrard's the dullest......

                 Jussi
              Samba           Agger? TBD
Ivanovic                                   Konchesky
              Essien            Etuhu
                      Modric
         Cahill
                     Berbatov                    Lee
Gomes, Bramble, Corluka, THUDD, Rodwell, Malouda, Gyan

team of the week or what? hardly (gomes?)

fav non arsenal players team.

modric an honorary arsenal player at this stage

No, this one will do actually

352 is the new 442, or at the very least it's back.

full backs are integral to the attacking moves & patterns of most top teams, 451 had taken over as the containing formation of choice for conservative managers into posession in england (mourinho from allardyce, ferguson followed, now even spurs do it ff) but now that mid/lower table teams are starting to play football again, i reckon we'll start to see a lot more of the three centre back setup everyone loved so much in 1996

with a cole and g johnson as pretty undisputed first choices and no way to fit his best players into the centre effectively, it's a wonder that capello hasn't tried this out extensively already imo

Thanks for this, Craig Levein:

http://i51.tinypic.com/2zoby45.jpg

Problems: a lot of teams at the moment seem to me to lack reliable, consistent centre half pairings, throwing another central defender into the mix might make that worse rather than better. Central centre back needs to be comfortable enough on the ball to act as a link man with the mids? Old-fashioned sweepers don't seem to be due for a comeback.

Full backs have been becoming more and more of an attacking outlet for the last decade or more, but in a 3-5-2 you've got more space behind them to exploit - no corresponding wide midfielders to cover. Against a counter-attacking 451 you've still got every chance of being murdered down the wings.

(There still look like a lot of not-good-enough full backs in the Prem to make this system common. Opinion poisoned by the two clowns we've been starting tho.)

On the plus side teams are realising that not scoring enough will get you relegated and looking to find ways to get 2 up front. I think that's more likely to result in narrowish diamond-y looking formations (lack of genuine left wingers also comes into this) or 4231 with a really advanced central AM or essentially withdrawn second forward.

That Scotland line-up looks more like a 4150 tbf

Wasn't how it panned out, Caldwell ended up back in defence a lot so it was alternating between a 5-5-0 and a 4-6-0. I think it was technically a 10-0, but they couldn't fit all the names along in a line.

Can't decide whether we call this the Rangers formation or the Scotland formation from now on.

i think throwing another centre back in there would help in a lot of cases. for teams with two attack minded full backs, you're actually adding one more dedicated member, and you're also leaving a structured defensive unit in place when those guys go and attack (like they do more and more often, it seems). Yeha you'll want one member of those three to be more comfortable on the ball to link with the midfield, but isn't that as true under 442/451 anyway?

I take your point about the lack of corresponding midfielders to cover from a counter under 352- maybe it's the spurs fan coming through here but i'm not sure a dedicated defender with responsibility to watch for this very thing on each side is in any way an inferior option to trusting david bentley to do it.

Definitely Scotland, NV, Rangers at least leave one guy forward in front of their wall of doom.

Struggling to think of any current English players who cd do the libero thing.

Agreed that Cole could do this for England btw, but have a sneaking suspicion Johnson wd disappear somewhere up the right wing like Glenn Miller.

ffs at Darren Fletcher as the deepest-lying centre-forward of all time there

i'd be of the opinion that capello, if he's going to continue picking johnson, needs to accept thats what he's getting regardless, and acknowledge that with his formations/plans

besides, the midfield of barry lampard gerrard should also provide a little more coverthan the 442 does anyway? again, a dedicated sitter (barry) dictating play from deep, but also watching for the counter.

tbh, it's really spurs that need to make this move, otherwise we're looking at dropping modric, palacios or thudd but keeping assou ekotto.

which is just unthinkable. unthinkable

None of those 3 have been any use as holding mids.

Barry Lampard Gerrard I mean.

not in a 442, certainly. barry the best of them under capello by some distance though?

could point out that not many of your strikers have been any good in their positions lately either, and likewise goalies, centre halves and probably wingers and central attackers too.

Man I got enough worries with the Wolves without hurting over them other losers.

wolves need to go through the painful yet rewarding 442 phase before anything else is possible, but i'm preaching to the converted there right?

did anyone read that article about busquiets as the modern sweeper? england need to use rodwell that way imo.

rodwell hasnt happened yet imo. anyway, spain's defensive midfielder is the exception and not the rule as a template, because of the xaviesta axis.

but i do think that england need to develop another type of holding midfielder role. thudd, if you're asking, and gerrard can screen him from in front, seeing as he likes running around so much- like the line protects a quarterback

but xabi alonso is their holding midfielder. busquiets is their fletcher/mikel/palacios to alonso's carrick/essien/huddlestone - he just drops so deep that he becomes a 3rd centre half at times.

carrick/huddlestone v diff players to essien/busquets i think, but essentially yeah he's a 'defensive' defensive midfielder. think rodwell is meant to have bit more about him than that footballing-wise, tbh

ok every1 itt knows more abt formations, so scuse a possible noob/ill-formed question, but let me try:

3-5-2

ok, u have your three across the back. they were described upthread as three center backs. are the wingers expected to track back to cover overlapping fulbacks/opposing wingers? or is that a centerback's coverage area? and if it's a centerback's coverage area, doesn't that stretch the middle? does a deep-lying midfielder come back further? (deep-lying and defensive midfielder, are those generally the same thing?)

guys it's all about freaking 3-4-3

what happens is:

if a team is attacking down the left, you have yr lch move over to lb, middlech to lch, and rw to rb, the same for the other side and if a team comes through the middle your mch goes into a anchor man role with both wb moving to fb roles, spreading the rest of yr midfield out

http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn116/imagoodone4sure/smileys/cheers.gif

ok every1 itt knows more abt formations

well, that's not exactly a given tbh, but we sure love talkin bout them

in my 352 the wide players aren't all out wingers, they'd have a specific off the ball function to track opposition wide players in much the same way a full back under 442 would

(deep-lying and defensive midfielder, are those generally the same thing?)

deep lying midfielder can be a playmaker with vision/an eye for a long pass a la alonso, huddlestone, archetype in recent years is pirlo in italy. defensive midfielder is the more typical, a destructive physical presence like palacios at spurs, the makelele role of note- to destroy opposition attacks and pass short to start your own

I think we should start using Milan for descriptive purposes here - the 'gattuso' (anchor man), the 'pirlo' (registri, deep lying playmaker type) and the ambrosini (the 'hoarder')

gattuso more mobile than yr average anchor man imo.

all in the details

Yeah, and also the fact that you can still anchor in the other team's half if you're keeping possession well enough.

Like we think of these positions roughly where you'd start them or place them on the chart but you've got to account for whereabouts on the pitch the team is keeping the ball.

very true. busquets as anchor man probably sees more ball in opponents half than rooney, for a start

anyway, 442 was well and good, but yknow giggs scholes keane and beckham are a long time gone as a unit

451- chelsea rock this to great effect right now (433 most of the time tbh?) but i feel a sea change a comin

remember, this is the dude that predicted that last season to a t iirc

Chelsea of all teams don't look like needing 2 out and out forwards just yet tho.

they got 2 in drogba tbf

never thought that guy would still be going strong this time three four years back, when his head was all over the place. does it even need saying these days how far ahead of the rest he is

depressing thing about drogba is he's 32 and not lost any pace. and when does start to, he's still going to be a terrific strong arm target man.

yeah he's peak right now and untouchable, but when he loses that yard he's still going to be a top-class player for some time with his touch and strength.

He's a prodigy no doubt. Anyway as I say upthread the main reason I can see for teams going to 3 centre backs is to get more firepower up front. If this is gonna happen any time soon I reckon it's more likely to be some team out of left field. Can imagine someone like Houllier trying it but Villa's first choice back 4 is pretty imposing imo.

Personally think it is going to come from the fact that teams use less forwards actually, meaning full backs aren't so important as part of the backline when they could be a part of winning the midfield battle.

6 in the middle somehow?

spurs will go for it, definitely.

we just need to get some centre backs fit first, then you're picking three from king, woodgate, corluka, gallas, kaboul, dawson, bassong. much better strength in depth there than we have for full backs anyway, and a 5 man midfield will allow big man/defoe bale/lennon/modric/vdv/palacios.

mfit, that's a top 4 team imo, once they get the finer details right.

xpost

3-3-3-1 Come to think of it isn't that close to how Chile set up in the WC?

361 is worth a try, but you'd want some serious width in your wingers, and the 1 one want to be a god the likes of drogba or doyle

three banks of three? wd take a south american team tbh

also darragh is this partly cos you assume/hope Arry hates Assou-Ekotto as much as you do?

at least partly

http://i51.tinypic.com/2zoby45.jpg

this is so great

Am kinda tempted to try a season at FM playing nothing but 0 striker formations and see what happens.

irish equivalent would read:

                             Given
O'Shea       Dunne              St Leder (disregard position for set pieces)    Kilbane (arrows running in circles here somewhere)
   ^ 
   ¦ 
Lawrence   Green (3D effect to show him out of his depth)    Whelan (arrows to signify him searching for his arrows)    McGeady
                                                                                                                           ¦
                                                                                                                           v
                                                                                                                 x
                                                                                                   McGeady's final ^ ball
                                
                 Keane (can we get a graphic here to show him horizontal? Check with technical guys)
                                 Doyle (RIP killed by repeated direct hits with Given through balls)

6 in the middle somehow?

― away from football we're perfectly nice gentlemen (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 October 2010 21:37 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Roma have played this way for the past five years?

               van der sar  
bosingwa   touré   vermaelen  zhirkov
               scholes touré
nasri              silva            arshavin
                 van persie

= xi of ~technical~ players in england

anyone want to help me do a 'team sam allardyce could rule the world with on a sam allardyce budget'?

          jaaskalinen
????       samba      ????     ????
dioufy     ????       ????     ????
          carroll     ????

Campo? Okocha? N'Gotty?

= xi of ~technical~ players in england

― Rockcrit from the Tuoms (nakhchivan)

gtfo no modric or berbatov

scholes has better touch than modric

rvp/berbatov is a close run thing but i) rvp is better as a lone forward ii) his dribbling is a little better

i think rvp is the most technically gifted #9 after villa, if he plays there, or messi if u insist on playing him there

no tottenham players tho, glad u noticed

bale vdv too tbph

xp fu

for full backs, are we talking technical attacking skills, or have we defined some sort of technical defensive stat set?

a cole in any case

ferdinand ahead of toure

arteta ahead of arshavin for 75% of every game

do rate van persie v highly tbf, but fitness innit

i don't think bale is a full-back

zhirkov is better as lw but he's played lb to a high level with russia

probably has slightly better control and dribbling than bale, go check his cska highlights before u kill yrself

dont think bale's a fullback either, as ur well aware

we've had ur concerns about bale's dribbling ability before, duly noted now kfo.

touré is technically better than ferdinand, whose credentials in that respect have been somewhat hyped (his more conventional skills being perhaps unfairly deprecated too -- i don't think he really is that atypical an english defender, he's far closer to someone like woodgate than piqué or lúcio)

touré, whilst far from amazing, can dribble properly, has surer first touch and finer weight of passing -- he was moved to centre back because wenger didn't think he had the endurance for midfield

there is an argument for agger as well, but vermaelen is the most skilful central defender in england (not a huge accolade) and is also predominantly left-sided

arteta is not as technically gifted as arshavin, hence his justifiable lack of playing time for spain who have at least half a dozen better technical players in his position(s)

if u don't consider bale as a full-back then he has to contest lw with arshavin, which the latter wins easily -- he is probably the most technically gifted player in that floating lw/am role after ronaldinho & robinho

bale has many great skills, as does arteta and ferdinand but lol at them being the highest technical players in their position in england.

it's like you're out to make an enemy of every right thinking follower of the Greatest League in the World

Think Arteta is def on a lower level technically than the Spanish national team superstars, but his end product is as good as anyone below that level- set plays, shooting, crossing- which makes 'half a dozen' a little harsh?

Plain disagree with you on Ferdinand technically.

well i mean if we're tied to the lm/am then bale's not in the contest.

but then y'know that position really only exists to indulge players like arshavin that don't really want to do all that much during a game.

if it's LW then bale all day. technically, consistencywise and taking into account end product

i would have modric, not vdv or bale.

most prob gallas over toure.

cole or figueroa over zhirkov but then i don't know enough about zhirkov.

surely there is a better choice than bosiwnga? corluka? sagna? rafael?

drogba/anelka - although their great technique is often forgotten in light of their strength and pace.

only silva stops hleb being the greatest technique player in the league. and the fact that technique is all hleb has. see also: rosicky.

future possibilities def. incl. balotelli and dembele.

if it's LW then bale all day. technically, consistencywise and taking into account end product

fyi arshavin has scored more and got more assists this season.

if it's LW then bale all day. technically, consistencywise and taking into account end product

― all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Monday, 27 December 2010 16:40 (4 minutes ago)

thanks for being the nudnik who had to evaluate nontechnical aspects in a context where they weren't being considered ;)

didn't consider hleb because he isn't owned by birmingham but he would be a near miss

cole/figueroa aren't even close to zhirkov technically

fyi he's not had crouch as an input into one of those results

lampard?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhjJuc2Qxek

honourable mention to maynor vs stoke tho

lol fuck off. love franky lamps baby but he plays next to essien and malouda, he is not the most technical player in that midfield let alone the league.

darragh srs are you trolling right now?

he is being vmic

szchesney

sagna koscielny vermaelen clichy

eboue lampard wilshere arshavin

nasri
chamakh

:)

ha maybe a little, but tbf he started it.

also am a little hampered by having to play with a scooby doo pirate castle to a satisfactory level while formulating my arguments

have same reservations as sam about bosingwa.

bale as a lw has amazing technical chops, touch, dribbling, crossing and shots all present and correct.

lol fenerbahce scrap

also, rugby fan who won 250k hitting the crossbar last night- better technical chops that alex fuckign hlep, unless the only technical characteristic is 'moving sideways'

maybe yall have forgotten bosingwa since his long injury, but he is basically a winger turned fullback

i'm not sure he's that great a player but technically he is way above average for england

rafael has an argument, corluka is a neat player too

a hoy u may be right about gallas, tho i think he is also left footed?

balotelli is probably in the berbatov/rvp class technically, there is some distance between those and the rooney-anelka-torres-tevez level

I dunno is Gallas all that great technically, maybe he's dropped a notch since I started really paying attetion to him? Would definitely have him below ferdinand, maybe even king if injuries aren't included

never noticed that bosingwa's touch etc were all that. always figured that, like hutton, just because he ran forward a lot he got the name as a more technically-gifted player than he was. but maybe not. in bosingwa's case, obv, hutton's for shit.

drogba def deserves mention up front

drogba isn't close, he has improved his first touch and can kill a ball quite effectively, he has a good striking technique, but he can't really dribble

technically he's not unlike gerrard, ie has as much as you need to be extremely dangerous in the pl as long as you are fast, aggresive and powerful

some of the shit rvp/berbatov/balotelli can do is nother lev tho....

haven't seen enough of balotelli tbh.

drogba doesn't dribble, but some of his first touch passing/shooting/trickery means he can't be counted as level with rooney. maybe he's on a half tier btwn those vaunted lumpers and the truly top tops

he may not be able to dribble but i don't know of another striker who has such technique in shooting, iykwim?

drogba's shooting technique is quite unorthodox but rvp has similar power with better accuracy

ur face has similar accuracy

imo

rmde

r ur de all u like they're still in that face

take yr drunken fuckin culchie cant out of this fine thread

:x

sober as

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ue8tda5cPZg/SVpHeteepLI/AAAAAAAAAFo/VNLFOAD8F3E/s320/Judge_Reinhold_from_Fast_Times.jpg

                 Gomes
Corluka      King      Woodgate        Ekotto
               Huddlestone
Lennon          Modric             Bale
                      Van der Vaart
          Defoe            

^ not sure about maybe the mix of midfield with Huddlestone/Modric, but other than that I'd say that's about right

yuh

u need to buy a good forward tho

defoe is alright

defoe has gone backwards since his much-praised efforts to bulk up. he might well have been good enough to be an option for a title winning team before that. he's certainly good enough to be an option for us. defoe and pav as bench strikers or sometime starters, definitely.

so yeah, we need a centre forward of the same standard as our creators.

elmander tbrr

well, you know i'm gonna have to put k davies into the mix now you said that

centre forwards that get it, in a way crouch never will

http://porraeurocopa.blogspot.es/img/modric.jpg

sayin

diego milito is the spit of enzo francescoli but isn't fit to shine his boots. just saying.

yeah hence why nobody posts jpg's of milito just sayin

http://www.boxofficefootball.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/football-hot-lookalikes-susan-boyle.jpg

still tho

house much more moyes than brown

shug ramos = keanu reeves crossed with a horse.

young anthony hopkins- ringer for keano

                      cesar
chimbonda   zokora   campbell  gilberto
              carrick       boateng
malbranque                             taarabt
                 berbatov   bent

would have 5 or 6 of those lads back tbr

the front six would be competitive with yr current lot

three good squad options and berbatov, yeah sure. malbranque isn't as good a benchwarmer as kranjcar tho

half of them are playing for considerably bigger teams than tottenham, and the other half are solid premier leaugue players

i'd take your current lot, but there's not a huge difference

who on the first team would you displace with his competitor?

front two, argument, yeah. the others, i don't know it's that close.

i don't care enough to think abt yr team any more sorry

miss u already

;_;

self imposed embargo, no tears 4u

rooney, berbatov, nani- can these dudes play together?

anderson- united's best central option?

'rooney back to his best' - pshaw score some fuckin goals son

united are walking this, and tbh they're looking like a bit more of a football team this past few weeks than they've done in quite a while imo

          Freidal
Boswinga  Collins   Lescott  Gibbs
         Makoun   Holden
              Adams
Gabby v. Young fite      Kranjcar
             Adebayor

Subs: Guzan, Dunne, Cueller, Albrighton, Delph, Pienaar, Delfounso

24m to turn Villa into a team to go up against Spurs.

                  Reina
        Thiago Silva  Vermaelan
Ivanovic                       Santon
          Busquiets   Wilshere
     Pastore   Van der Vaart  Silva
                 Tevez

A BEAST OF A TEAM

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/07/15/arts/Port1650.jpg

the busc of disquiets

24m to turn Villa into a team to go up against Spurs.

― "jobs" (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 18 January 2011 11:57 (2 days ago) Bookmark

uh can you show your maths for this please.

http://abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread649091/pg1

101greatalternatedimensions.com

Darren Bent will be sold for £50m in six months so it's all net spend innit.

if mauro boselli is £5500000
then transfer to tottenham increases transfer value to $40000000000000000000034.45
notwithstanding hugo rodallega
therefore ballon d'or

if ivanovic is right wing back
then banega plays left inside forward, angle of trajectory 43 degrees in hyperbpoloid space
therefore carlos vela

idgi

someone on the internet is rewriting a hoy hoy posts in the style of paranoid schizophrenic and sometime spree killer jared lee 'chung yong' loughner

oh yeah sure that's sound, but banega inside left? Cant see it tbh

if you want to play quick, passing football based on movement then you need a few small lads able to pass and move.

                   vds
maicon    lúcio    piqué       taiwo
       busquets     touré
muller            kaká          ronaldo
                van persie

what u did i see it

Would you so easily drop the barca genius midget trio tho

could drop them all p easily, messi would put up a lil resistance but nothing some viking brutality wouldn't see paid to #varg

it's an interesting thought tho....there are a number of reasons smallish players are so well adapted to technical football, but then you have zidane, berbatov, laudrup, balotelli, riquelme, rivaldo, van basten etc

wow ur blowin minds out there maaayne

zlatan berbatov k davies fwd line

yeaaaaaah i think i was kinda inviting u to have a think rather than me doing all the work

this is all leading back to Crouchie having good touch for a big man

no he doesn't

he doesn't have a good touch even by the standard of inainmate objects

conversely tevez, dickov, ????

                handanovic
criscito    zapata     bonucci     santon
             illičić          hamsik
sanchez         pastore            menez
                    cavani

sort of dispels received wisdom about serie a being a bad league for young prospects to cut their teeth? traditionally a lot of italian managers have been reluctant to give kids a chance, as evidenced by the gerontocracy of milan and to a lesser extent inter, roma, juve in recent years

             Goycochea
Zanetti    Ayala    Passarella    ???
Messi   Maradona   Simeone  Di Stefano
       Batistuta   Kempes

Argentina has prudced the best footballers ever, right? Like other than maybe in goal and at lb, not even Brazil fucks with that XI, especially the attacking front five.

"the state of emergency": 9-1-1

thudd's back soon

Feel like thread could be revitalised in honour

Dude is the neo to england's shitty earthwarrior ravecave

Give up on Lampard & Stevie Me, play Parker as Gattuso, THUDD as Pirlo and Wilshere as Kaka. Young/Milner and Theo on the wings. Find a less shitty defence. Slap Rooney about if he's not in form.

jasskelainen

bramble zayatte cahill

n'zogbia diame bullard belhadj

j mccarthy

utaka
elmander

― nakhchivan, Friday, 23 April 2010 13:51 (11 months ago) Bookmark

what is that?

bolton wigan pompey hybrid monster

Agree with you on three man midfield, while parker lasts. No rooney, i'm coming round on walcott but left wing belongs to lennon tbh

Too soon to definitively say carroll, so like parker go for the short term player that best fits.

K davies.

tell you what brian i would do absolutely everything to the sugababes

This is why mourinho wont work in a room with a telly

fuck england 4eva

that team was sposed to be a relegation candidate combined xi iirc

could do a better one this year

any team with parker in the middle and fit stays up, so he's out.

how to rebuild utd on a budget lol 2011/12:

            Enyeama
Rafael  Vidic   Evans  Evra
      Fletcher Parker
Valencia  lolKaka      Nani
         Hernandez
Subs: Kusz, Fabio, Smalling, Carrick, Park, Welbeck, Macheda

Carroll is no way good enough to be in the England team atm, and the formation should be changed to fit where we have quality. forgot lennon.

Full name Vincent Enyeama
Date of birth 29 August 1982 (1982-08-29) (age 28)
Place of birth Kaduna, Nigeria
Height 1.80 m (5 ft 11 in)[1]
Playing position Goalkeeper
Club information
Current club Hapoel Tel Aviv

Was just trying to think of a cheap but exciting keeper tbh.

Lehmann was a substitute in Arsenal's match against West Bromwich Albion on 19 March 2011, but despite newspaper reports that he might replace goalkeeper Manuel Almunia, due to the latter's poor performances,[23] Arsène Wenger admitted that Lehmann is not match fit.[24]

carroll 'atm' is coming back from injury in a new team

btw utd's striker next year, were they serious about rebuilding on the cheap, is k doyle.

oh ok sorry forgot carroll was a world beater before his injuries.

elmander on a free xp

elmander has gone back to being totally pointless post-sturridge from city, right?

doyle > carroll > pav > rvp over a full season

elmander is currently the world's largest winger afaik

i know you are baiting me but i wouldn't be surprised if i googled it and found out that rvp was the highest scorer this season out of those four.

season not over yet

Also, level of service a factor

                begovic
shittu   shawcross   van buyten  huth
elmander      diop   huggel      delap
        harewood         carew 

big xi right

hybrid of bigness and stokeness

thought of doing a lickle one but starting with a keeper makes it hard

between the two, a veritable gorta mor lucha

haha i was doing the same

seem to remem there was a 5'7 keeper linked to y'nahtid a while back

'little' paul robinson

Shay given, i guess?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%93scar_P%C3%A9rez_Rojas

conflicting opinions on wiki but i'd guess he's the smallest gk to play at that level in recent times

1.61 m (5 ft 3 1⁄2 in) [1] ickle diego buananotte will be playing in yurp for malaga next season

I've heard his name a few times. Supposedly mental and also v. talented?

p much

i know the lol debate on whether a small player will be able to adapt to the premiership but that dude would get slaughtered

stoked for the deadness

it't the extra inch and half that allows lennon to play?
xp

that kid isn't as fast as lennon to run away from 'big' x or y stoke player either

wait is he a gk or not

lol

no proper fitba for a fortnight and we're left compiling imaginary teams that would have mcnulty trawling out the 'there may not be seven of them but dwarves they most certainly are'

whatever formation you had for spurs, you can add gallas to it for another two years

Aha! I was watching Buonanotte just this Saturday night against Newell's, his name caught my ear nicely. Didn't realise he was only a little 'un, he was holding his own down the channel well enough. Very erratic shooting though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Aeol18vhpw&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wtJCRL_nes

'Mediocre Premier League winners' XI' by Zonal_Marking
4-4-2: Stuart Taylor; R Garde, P Cygan, T Gale, M Phelan; L Chadwick, R Wallwork, M Atkins, R Slater; J Aliadiere, C Wreh / M Kezman
4 minutes ago

rooney o shea carrick

a current technical england xi (must have played proper premiership football to stop me picking the arsenal u18s):

                Hart
Johnson?   Ferdinand  Tomkins?  Cole
           Wilshere  Murphy?
      Scholes    Noble?  A Johnson
               Sturridge

fucking hell that was hard.

even though i knew it wasn't true, i looked up ricardo fuller's nationality. talk about plumming the depths.

Defoe, Barton, thudd, J Cole, maybe some West Brom players, Rooney tbf. JT was putting together a dribble or two last night as well.

king, thudd, zamora

oh shit i forgot thudd. other than "mayve some West Brom players" though, the rest are smh. Thought about King, the same way I considered Hargreaves but you know, I also didn't include Ashton.

Terry technically as good as Rio. Sturridge not really all that. Not sure about Noble or Glen Johnson.

http://cms.442.haymarketnetwork.com/contentimages/blog/LaLigaLoca/Owen.jpg

is he? i always thought terry was king of the hoofs. glen johnson there just because i genuinely couldn't think of another name? richards... maybe? noble to now be replaced by thudd.

it's ok sam, terry is in no way technically close to rio he's only kidding

dawson the best ballplaying cb tho

they're all shit except adam johnson and scholes

Bollocks to that, watch him play properly. He rarely lifts the ball (Rio, elegant though he is, is actually far more likely to hoof), good with two feet, excellent touch and control, moves comfortably into midfield with the ball regularly (I;m thinking of a goal he set up against Arsenal last year at the Emirates, with a pass made with the outside of his left foot from the inside left channel; and that great goal Ashley Cole score last year where he controlled a chip came from a perfectly weighted Terry pass).

He's slow, sure, and doesn't cover the ground as sleekly, but his actual use of the ball is excellent. He's scored three or four goals of superb quality with his feet that i can't think any other centre-back in the league bar Luiz could match.

Wenger wanted to sign him in 2003 for precisely these reasons.

any other cente-back?

http://www.quizblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Thomas-Vermaelen-001.jpg

He can hoof a few from long range, that's not the same thing.

yeah rio, who has done all that but more regularly imo

Can't think of much, if anything, Rio does in the attacking half of the pitch. He rarely carries the ball any distance at all. Not saying Rio isn't very good, but technically there's little between them.

can dribble, good finisher, consistently good touch/pass

No ledley obv

That we can agree on.

basically england sucks at technical football.

/preaching to choir.

Competent defenders, workhorse midfielders, shit strikers.

With Pete re. Terry. I think his quality on the ball is vastly underrated.

i'm reading the ilx speculative fiction poll atm, there's a whole load of books there about imaginary phenomena that are also vastly underrated

                                   almunia
elokobi                   djourou              huth             traoré
wilshere        felipe melo                    song            emanuel thomas   
                                         diaby
                                   
                             bendtner

i can't figure that out.

wenger has a massive coronary, pat rice oversees the summer transfer window

                 VdS
               Rio             Evra			          
                      Vidic
          Fletcher   Carrick     Giggs       
 Valencia                           Park
                        Rooney
              Hernandez

Except for the wandering GK, this is Jonathan Wilson's idea for stifling Barcelona in midfield, with Hernandez nicking a goal somewhere for the win.

Another writer suggested that the plan for United should be Rooney sticking close to Piqué and pressing him immediately when Barca gain possession in their own half, because Mascherano (the other CB if Puyol unfit, I guess) and the full-backs aren't nearly as composed in distribution/linking defense to attack.

yall

try and make a team to defeat barcelona

oh, why not

              casillas
maicon        lúcio         thiago silva      cole
            essien             modric
                   
krasic               sneijder
                                     ronaldo
                     drogba

i don't think you could make a team capable of ~playing~ them so it's pretty much just a counterattacking side

maybe central defence is an area for innovation, since size is unnecessary couldn't you just play some quick fullbacks or defensive mids who could at least try to keep up with the speed and balance of their forwards?

# 53 Szczesny
# 06 Koscielny
# 20 Djourou
# 22 Clichy
# 27 Eboue
# 04 Fabregas
# 08 Nasri yellow card
# 14 Walcott (Bendtner 77)
# 17 A Song yellow card (Arshavin 68 yellow card)
# 19 Wilshere
# 10 Van Persie

boom boom

ha

ya the real key is mobility at cb and dm tbh, if you can handle the movement up front and your midfielders don't dive if you've a chance.

                   Gomes
Corluka  Dawson  Gallas    Ekotto ffs
Lennon   Sandro    Thudd     Bale
        Berbatov    Van Der Vaart

plus 20m if you felt gomes/gallas/whoever weren't up to scratch or w/e

what's that?

starting xi when modric/ berba deal happens, obv

almunia

elokobi djourou huth traoré

wilshere felipe melo song emanuel thomas

diaby

bendtner

― the hauntologico-ballardian aporiae of the defunct myspace profile (nakhchivan), Tuesday, May 17, 2011 1:39 PM (1 month ago)

nearly there

JET not really cut out for footballing

Would Downing get in that team?

downing and wilshere would be looking for a move from that team to sunderland

reina
arbeloa    piqué     cuellar  enrique
         alonso       arteta
              
              fabregas
               
mata                         silva
              torres

this is probably better than any team of english EPL players from the last few years, slight weakness in central defence tho

I was going to propose a reserve XI built around a Campo-Hierro partnership and Borja Valero as playmaker, but there were too many options at LW, couldn't choose between Riera, Luque and Jose Reyes.

luque was more of a forward

I had Morientes slotted in there, wouldn't want to give him up either.

Man Utd XI from last season who didn't feature against a weakened Arsenal yesterday.

           Van Der Sar
Rafael     Ferdinand     Vidic     Fabio
         Carrick    Fletcher    
             Scholes    
Valencia                      Obertan
             Berbatov     

no bebe no credibility

 
                 Howard
Sagna   Cahill    Jagielka    Baines
                   Palacios
Bentley        Wilshere       Arshavin
     Walcott       Van Persie 
  

80m well spent

well alright say 60m

no bebe no credibility

Shit! I was really struggling to think of someone to put in place of Obertan and forgot all about Bebe :(

ok so someone got talking w/ me about what england should take next summer, my answer was rougly:

            Hart
Johnson  Jones Terry   Cole
           THUDD
      Cleverley  Wilshere
Young         Rooney
         Sturridge
              Foster?
Smalling? Cahill  Dawson  Gibbs
       Rodwell? Henderson?
            Downing
Lennon              Welbeck
            Carroll

I mean Theo is more liable to do something amazing than Lennon or Downing (or Henderson) but they are much more reliable. Maybe still take him because he could be a 4th striker option. But then you can argue that Welbeck could work as the same.

Yes, I just don't get Parker's popularity. Dude always looks like a liability who has one great game every 15 to make people keep talking about him. I would def. pick Barry over him, although not Carrick.

There are better players who I didn't name (Rio, Baines, Jagielka maybe, Lampard, Gerrard, Parker etc.) but they are a lot less 'fluid' than this next generation looks. Between Wilshere, Young, Rooney, Henderson and Downing you can mix the centre, wings and forwards in a way that messes with an oppositions marking, which you don't get with Lampard. He may be a hard player to man mark but at least you can know to stick one guy on him and know where he'll be. Downing meanwhile will be all over the shop, with intent, and that messes with the previous amounts of predictability regarding England.

This is a ridiculously young team and when it comes to the likes of Gibbs and Rodwell, I picked players who haven't yet really proved themselves (playing in teams where the opportunity has opened up to do that, now Clichy and Arteta have gone.)

If Bale and Ramsey were English, this team would be so much better in the next 10 years but I guess that has always been that way.

cleverly's done nothing.

He had 1 really good season and now looks like the most dynamic midfielder in the country and looks like he will continue picking up steam.

Otoh just read that he got Davies'd this weekend.

i don't think looking good in wigan's midfield is an automatic england callup

A Thudd, Cleverley, Wilshere centre midfield would have 2 players who aren't great at winning the ball back (wilshere's okay i guess) and one who can't run.

what's barry 'great' at?

i'd never argue for thudd as a makalele, you have to see him as a thudd.

lol i had wilshere as the fast dm and thudd as the smart one in my head. if rodwell or the 'pong turns out to be a good player then we can have a dece midfield

what's barry 'great' at?

Barry really impressed me in a recent game. Can't remember which one though. He was winning the ball back and keeping it simple n stuff.

thudd worth anchor spot vs smaller teams- better than barry wasting a spot like he did at the wc

im not saying this team would win anything, i dont think any combo at this stage would. its just what i'd like to see tried 2 years before the real tourno. (unfortunately the wc will be wasted by having 'arry 'ave a go.)

capello's whittling of 30 or w/e down to 22 before the wc was a sackable call imo

doubt the rodwell thing's ever going to happen tbh

yugoslavia xi would pwn, right?

                    handanovic
Srna       ivanovic     vidic     kolarov
Krasic    stankovic     modric    kranjcar
             vucinic     dzeko

Per f365 mailbox today

kolarov/kranjcar wing a liability defensively, krasic is rubbish, stankovic is old. The rest is p good.

no jovetic no cred

i'll still take krasic based on his looking so much like nedved.

Bale/bae is a defensive liability too, as are many left sided combos

Stankovic is 33

i was only tryin to start discussion youse fucks

handanovic

------------ ivanovic vidic subotic --------

----srna--------modric--kranjcar-----kolarov

---------------------jovetic----------------

---------------vucinic-------dzeko-----------

the goalie appears to be stationed by the corner flag for some reason. Let Jonathon Wilson work out why.

Shaqiri on the left imo

ooh didn't think of him.
boban as manager cos he's boban.

shaqiri is swiss no?

Born in Kosovo

Capped for Switzerland tho.

Didn't realise Subotic played for U.S at youth level.