Anyone Who's Good Enough For Middlesbrough Won't Be On Dis Ting: SPL 2010/11

http://images.football.co.uk/Dynamic/News/400x400/1215884415_spt_ai_aberdeenvmanutd_27.jpg

HE'S READY (to spend the year under the sunbed).

no better way to start the SPL topic than with cumbersome, third rate takes on its big brother's tricks.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/48017000/jpg/_48017945_lennon_snsb466.jpg

HE'S READY (to realise St Mirren's ambition to finish in round about the same place as last year)

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/48357000/jpg/_48357259_juarez_282i.jpg

HE'S READY (subject to a medical)

http://celticfcminded.footballunited.com/files/2010/05/Neil-Lennon-001.jpg

THEY'RE NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT READY (but at least they're laughing about it)

Morton are ready!

(im sure its only a matter of time before they're in the spl lol)

Celtic got Braga of Portugal in their first CL qualifier - away on 27/28 July then home on 3/4 August.

Great stadium iirc

http://www.mimoa.eu/images/2518_l.jpg

Dressing rooms out of shot on the right, players abseil onto the pitch.

that is awesome, although I wouldn't like to be the ballboy.

Braga seems pretty tough. Who else could they have drawn?

Spurs played Braga two or three years ago, they weren't very good, although I accept they may have improved.

Celtic, having fallen spectacularly from their last 16 adventures of a few years ago, were unseeded and could have faced Ajax, Braga, Fenerbahce, Dynamo Kiev or Zenit St Petersburg.

Braga looks the best option out of that lot.

Spurs played Braga two or three years ago, they weren't very good, although I accept they may have improved.

They scored 4 goals though - Spurs won each leg 3-2.

Spurs played Braga two or three years ago, they weren't very good, although I accept they may have improved.

― Matt DC, 16 July 2010 10:50 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

Aw, cmon, we've definitely improved

Stadium set up for headline: CELTIC EURO CAMPAIGN ON THE ROCKS

The fans of Braga are known as Arsenalistas due to their teams uniforms that resemble that of English club Arsenal.

You can never get enough Arsenalistas in the Champions League :(

Braga beat Portsmouth 3-0 in 'arry's last match.

if we get past braga do we face auxerre, sevilla, spurs, samp, or werder bremen? draws are ~confusing~

Spurs please

Haven't even looked at the next round, might not be worth bothering tbh.

Braga's home league record last season W14 D1 L0 - with 10 clean sheets - giving them their best ever league finish.

Have we got a CL/Europa 09/10 thread yet?

Would prefer Celtic to most of that lot as well.

Don't blame you

(If I understand it correctly) You don't get any of that lot - they're on Spurs' side of the draw. xpost

The Eagles Has Not Landed

Winners of
AFC Ajax (NED) v PAOK FC (GRE)
FC Dynamo Kyiv (UKR) v KAA Gent (BEL)
BSC Young Boys (SUI) v Fenerbahçe SK (TUR)
SC Braga (POR) v Celtic FC (SCO)
FC Unirea Urziceni (ROU) v FC Zenit St Petersburg (RUS)

go into a draw with AJ Auxerre, Sevilla FC, Tottenham Hotspur FC, UC Sampdoria and Werder Bremen into the play-off round. I assume the five teams already in that round are automatically seeded high than the teams in Celtic's round but I might be wrong.

next round draw

Celtic OR Braga
Fenerbache OR Young Boys
Kiev OR Gent
Unirea OR Zenit*
PAOK OR Ajax*
Sampdoria
Auxerre
Sevilla*
Werder Bermen*

*spurs can't play these

happy with missing out on those 3 tbh

Is it me or does the new ICT strip
http://www.ictfc.co.uk/javaImages/8d/4/0,,10447~8848525,00.jpg
look a hell of a lot like Sandy Jardine should be wearing it?
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2723/4258421351_5b5b999616_m.jpg

Not just you. It hurts me in my heart that they still get to use the Thistle name :-/

Hibs to play Videotron, or, even better for Irvine Welsh fans, Maribor Stork Nightmares. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/8829217.stm

In other news, Celtic's underwhelming spending spree continues with the capture of Daryl Murphy. Lenny selling it to the fans big style "I think he'd do all right"

btw, there was a competition on the SPL's official facebook page to win two season tickets to a club of your choice by nominating the funniest moment in the history of the SPL (was coming here to alert peeps due to paucity of entries not of the "lol Celtic getting thumping off St Mirren/Huns/Caley Thistle" variety, but it closed five minutes ago, sorry).

Anyway, was quietly confident with my entry of "Michael Stewart falling over in the tunnel", but think I have been pwned by "Billy Reid swinging on the dugout and falling over" :-(

Also won't be saddened to be beaten by Jim McLean's square go with John Barnes (BBC reporter version).

I think I prefer this manager vs reporter spat to the McLean vs Barnes one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naOTHAAIb4c

Never seen this one before. I'm no fan of Smith but I'm loving the complete disdain he has for wee Chick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtMl_X4n7FA

Thing is though, how many hacks have criticised Gordon Strachan's habit of treating stupid questions with contempt while praising Walter's quiet dignity?

Aye, more people should get it right up Chick, the self-important wee bawbag. I can't imagine that wouldn't be splashed all over the back of the chip wrappers to a huge fuckwit-driven outcry if it was MON/Gogs/Lenny giving Chico grief.

Usual places have the Celtic v Man Utd friendly up, if anyone's still awake and fancies watching Mark Wilson being shit.

Charlie Mulgrew = fearbringer.

btw, Shaun Maloney exists. 21 minutes in and his legs are still intact.

(see also: Thomas Rogne)

Looking not bad so far but I can't really be arsed watching it all.

two huge chances for Man U after I posted that :)

looks like they've got quite the good crowd there. This has been pretty decent but gosh I'm tired.

Aye. Crosas looking useful. Also <3 Shaun Maloney.

Oh, here's a good idea. Let's leave Berbatov standing on his own.

ah that was nice, probably a mistake to not bother marking Berbatov though.

Good goal from Berb. Giggs & Scholes, with a combined aged of Davie Weir, are bossing this.

OK, the dude whose stream I'm watching on Justin is about to lose his copy of the Man Utd POTY Awards 09/10 off his Sky+ box.

Decent shot by Mulgrew. now learn to defend please...

Hey Fortune we've signed a bigger non-scoring forward than you, time you looked half-interested!

Half time coverage on Man U telly makes ITV look positively professional. Is C67 this bad?

MUTV now conducting interviews with women about which shirts they like best. Fascinating stuff.

haha, xpost

oh look, it's Sami on for Fortune. One non-scorer for another non-scorer. Whoo.

"Celtic should be ahead in the their fitness as they've already played a game" - aye two days ago! Plus we've got half a team of permabroken guys. Hard to believe they're managed to get Rogne, Maloney and Wilson all running at the same time.

Sami on oh joy...

Darren O'Dea is a Bad Defender. It worries me that no-one on the staff seems to have noticed.

Yay - oh, no, offside Sami ya clown :-/

btw, link from some fud in a justin.tv chatroom:

http://www.setanta.com/ien/Articles/2010/07/15/Bullard-set-for-Rangers/gnid-72703/

You get rid of Darren O'Dea, you are left with Glenn Loovens, who is also a Bad Defender. Does Jos Hooiveld exist still?

Loovens > O'Dea imo.

Then again Caldwell > McManus > Loovens but what do I know?

Obertan has Mulgrew on toast here. Whole defence is running away from him. Thank fuck there's no-one in the SPL who can run with a ball.

114 shots in 2 minutes for Man U.

More than Tony Mowbray, imo (xpost). You're aware I'm not a huge fan of Darren O'Dea, but he never used to give me the fear this badly before he went away on loan. Loovens has less bombscarey moments, but I'm never wholly comfortable with him either. Would rate any of them over World's Slowest Man Josh Thompson though.

Saying that, comedy defence and THG 2.0 keeping Man Utd at bay there.

ooh, penalty. Who takes them now that Robbie's away?

pen!

Should have been red card tbh

nice! Bring on the new Sami, better than the old Sami!

Sami! Never in doubt (apart from the doubt written all over his face) :)

Go Sami! (don't actually go, like, not if yuo're going to run past people and cross balls in and stuff. that's useful!)

Hang on, who went off for Sami? Shaun?

Here come the Koreans (noticed a lot of Korean-based advertising hoardings, so presumably this is where they are brilliant and sell lots of jerseys)

Aye I think so. Crosas off now - we'll not bother passing it any more then...

Cha Du Ri = blimey, a speedy full back!

Hang on, what, this might have to go to penalties because Canadians don't understand the concept of draws? Madness!

Hang on pt 2 - Ben Hutchison?

Hang on pt 3 - Maloney was still on?

Shop window performance from Sami here - might be the last time we see him.

Aye Cha looked fast + good there.

Maloney just coming off now - no idea who disappeared for Sami then :)

So who went off for Sami? Is James Forrest still there?

Actually, is Scott Brown still on?

Ben Hutchison wtf

Aye I think Forest's on the right, can't really see much through the pixelation. Brown maybe? xpost aye I think so

Oh look, comedy defending :-(

Hey Darren, get the right side of your man for once, eh?

pfft total pish at the back there, you can't even call that defending.

pfft what I just said

This is better than last year when we were romping the Wembley Cup and dreaming of glory though, eh? Least this way we have no expectations to be crapped upon.

^ do not necessarily believe this

Hooray, we're still crap. Bring on teh Portugeezers :-/

+ves: Sami, Forest, Crosas, Ledley, Zaluska (though I think he could maybe have saved the 2nd one)
-ves: Fortune, O'Dea, Fortune, Wilson, Brown, Fortune

Jury out on the rest. Liked what little I saw of Cha and Ki. Where is Morten Rasmussen?

Fortune OK then (two negatives make a positive!)?

Thought Brown did OK first half, but then again, it took about 20 minutes before I noticed he wasn't even there in the second :-o

Think Sami's doing a Donati; as you said, I don't expect him to be there at the end of the window but he's doing everything to make it look like he should be.

Facebook has just suggested Jimmy Bullard to me. "Many who like Jeff Stelling also like Jimmy Bullard". :-(

Fortune OK then (two negatives make a positive!)?

Three negatives make a very negative in my scoring system.

I'd be surprised at the Huns taking Bullard if they can't afford Eagles. Bullard being touted for Celtic and Rangers but no-one in the English Premier makes me think no-one wants to touch him. I think he's averaging about 12 games a season uninjured - can't see anyone taking a £40k a week punt on that.

Where is Morten Rasmussen?

Oh aye, still asleep, didn't see the extra negative Fortune in the middle (lol Fortune in the middle, etc).

Can't see any truth in the Bullard to Huns rumour either, but googling for Bullard Rangers last night brought to light the revelation that the person he turned to for advice* as to whether he should go to Celtic was, um, Lee McCulloch. That's surely on a par with "hey Artur, should I sign for Rangers?"

* talking of which, have we scrapped this Lenny mentor idea now, btw?

Whoo, we have an early contender for false headline of the year:

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/sport/spl/3058288/Neil-offers-MoJo-a-job.html

(Neil Lennon does not meet Maurice Johnston, does not offer him a job)

Still, Dario Franchitti is going to end bigotry by being the 8 zillionth Celtic fan to be on friendly terms with Rangers fans. Clue: it's not these people who are the bigots.

Latest Facebook update:

Recommended Pages
.Steven Gerrard
959,482 people like this.

It's like they don't even know me :-(

I'm being recommended the Liberal Democrats because I like The Thick Of It :/

I've stopped getting football recommendations since I unliked Robbie Keane.

how'd cervi do?

Didn't play. Was at fault for goal against Union iirc.

I'd like to thank Neil Lennon for signing Daryl Murphy. After Keane wouldn't take him to Ipswich, I thought we were never going to get rid of him.

The notion of DM providing a "physical presence" is very funny. For a big bloke, he gets pushed off the ball all the time. He's hopeless in the air, and I've watched him out-jumped and out-muscled by, err, Shaun Wright-Phillips.

He can run, but his control is poor and his vision is woeful, and his crossing (on the rare occasion he beats a full-back) consists of a blind hoof in the vague direction of the penalty spot.

His total ineptitude as both a centre-forward and a winger have seen him recast in the role of a "striker-winger".

He's rubbish.

Aye he's pish. Juarez and ledley signings really pleased me. This has brought me back to earth. Another useless "striker".

as good a player as Juarez seems to be I'd be wary, he must be an idiot to leave behind a club with this kit:

http://www.uksoccershop.com/images/pumas_away_0708.jpg

Banamex: racist.

blind hoof in the vague direction of the penalty spot.

>>>> Lee Naylor then

Forgot about tonight's friendly (not forgot so much as assumed it was going to be on a lot later than it was).

Which means I missed a Paddy McCourt goal, and the WTF sight of Cillian Sheridan at left back. Anyone got Lee Naylor's phone number?

Cervi made an arse of it for their goal apparently. Sammy scored a goal that was chopped off in order to give a penalty and send off the keeper :/ sounds like woeful refereeing.

Yesterday's NOTW had Celtic back in for Bullard and also after Speroni.

No to Bullard and mibbes aye to Speroni.

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/48402000/jpg/_48402491_miller-alexander_466b.jpg

didn't realise the Nacho Novo to Sporting Gijon move was a straight swap with their home kit going the other way.

Actually, that's an old Rangers change strip from the 60s or 70s

Possibly blue stripes rather than red though

Also heard David James as potential new keeper. Wouldn't say no to Speroni though.

Gordon Strachan's importing of the SPL player-by-player to the Championship continues apace, looks like Craig Conway's going next.

dinnae be mibbying speroni, he's been the top keeper in the championship for a good few years now - flaps like a tart at crosses but his shot-stopping is so unbelievable it hardly matters.

long-term though kieran westwood is really good if you can afford the £2-3m.

flaps like a tart at crosses but his shot-stopping is so unbelievable it hardly matters.

We just got rid of one of them :-)

We're routinely chucking in excess of a million quid at strikers who can't score, so chucking in excess of a million at a keeper who might compensate for their shortcomings sounds like a no-brainer. Unfortunately, no-brainers seem to be running tings at Celtic just now, so we'll probably end up with, I dunno, Jamie Langfield or something.

How old is Speroni now? It seems like a million years since he was at Dundee. I did get a good few points out of him in Fantasy Football when CryPal were Prem, right enough.

He's 31 - another good few years in him.

Cheers - is hard enough sneaking about on interwebs at work without trying to check two pages at a time :-)

Clocked a bloke in town today with a Rangers shirt with "Drogba 9" on the back of it. Quality amounts of wishful thinking going on there.

make a change from the one i saw with
July
12
FTP

on the back

File Transfer Protocol?

One? They're everywhere.

feel the pain

Andy Goram still struggling with his issues, I see, claiming Vile Laughatme can be a 25 goals a season striker. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/r/rangers/8838632.stm

Also nice to see the BBC tradition of illustrating stories mentioning Kris Boyd with really REALLY bad photos of him (even by his standards) continues even though he's away.

Best Celtic shirt I saw was the

Albert Kidd
86

one I saw a few years back.

I've only seen one, was a wee while ago when I was coming out of the chippy, a guy early 20s. Seen plenty of the july 12 tops over the years but not with FTP on it.
I dont suppose the polis would do anything if one of them saw it even if they know fine well what it stands for.
xp

fight the power

fight the police, surely?

fuck tha police was going to be my next effort

(deep) Fry The Pizza is more apt as it's Scotland.

I expect there will be an accies fan somewhere with FTW on it. (fuck the well, incase you need to ask)

the initials thing must be taking off, the salvation army building got IRA graffiti on it the other week and one of the spraypainted things was FTQ.
I blame texting, when I was a lad sectarian graffiti had the full words on it. Those kids today..

Shortening FTP/Q has been a thing for as long as I can remember.

xposts, it was never going to be "for the win", was it?

btw, the guy who suggested Billy Reid falling over won the SPL competition. Bah, that's so passe it's even been a what happened next on Question of Sport. Mickey Stewart falling over way better, as any fule kno.

xpost, yes, but Lanarkshire's more civilised, innit? oh, wait...

rangers just got £2m rising to £5m from Liverpool apparently. Maybe they can get Eagles now.

First beer opportunity home game of the season is the Braga game two weeks today. Onimo, do the wee yins get that one on their season books too, or are we going to drink beer and whinge about left backs? (Jim, let us know if you're ever around for pre-match beering and moaning as well)

For Wilson, or just as a generous gesture from a kindly stranger?

*googles*

ah, OK? pfunkboy, as someone who thought Liverpool offering £3m for McGeady would be a waste of money, I assume you're apopleptic with rage at paying that for a guy with virtually no experience who makes David Weir look quite good?

Two weeks tomorrow is it not? Aye the boys will be getting their first taste of European football.

Ive not seen him tbh, so I dont really know much about him. But if he makes weir look good, oh dear.

Oh, I thought it was the Tuesday. You can see I'm excitedly counting down the days.

lol, I've just read the BBC report about Danny Wilson. "Ibrox chief executive Martin Bain insists the move will net the Glasgow club £2million". Good old Martin Bain, you keep telling it like you think it is, doesn't mean even the BBC believe you.

I don't imagine anyone here is a baseball fan, but Celtic is set to play Sporting Lisbon (instead of Rangers) at Fenway Park in Boston, and this is what it looks like:

http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/5503/fenway597x447.jpg

haha some shitty seats there for watching football. Perfect for baseball obviously.

Agreed. I've been to a couple of MLS matches in converted baseball stadia, and it basically doesn't work at all.

Plenty of exercise for the ballboys running behind the goals to retrieve the latest MAF attempt at worrying the keeper.

rumours on the accies msg board yesterday says james mcarthur is off to wigan

That's one of the longest standing rumours in history surely?

I know what you mean but it's supposedly happening on thursday.

There's nothing on the bbc yet but the msg board says its happening.

and the club are to issue a statement

statements up actually
http://www.acciesfc.co.uk/

i presume he gets a medical and signs tomorrow

So Wigan have James McArthur and James McCarthy, is there a James McCartney at Hamilton at all?

im sure theres deed poll to be used if needed

btw david james to Celtic: want or do not want?

Sure, we'll have him. Any more English OAPs avaiable?

Sol Campbell? David Beckham? Jamie Carragher? Paul Scholes? Nicky Butt?

Heskey...

Would be better surely to bring young guys through, there must be some good young players at Celtic & Rangers. Typical of Rangers to punt theirs though.

Would prefer an experienced goalie to a young guy at this stage.

There are good young players at Celtic, always have been. Some don't make it but do OK elsewhere where the competition isn't so fierce, some (Aiden McGeady, Steven McManus for recent examples) do. Whether or not they do a Ryan Giggs and stay forever, or whether they go for money because money is needed and these players are replaceable, doesn't make Celtic any different from, say Hamilton punting McArthur, or in fact Celtic punting a bought-in player, say Caldwell or MacDonald, when the time/money is right.#

I can't believe this has to be explained every sodding transfer window.

Also, why so surprised at young players being punted for money by a club who need money? They're punting everything they can get a price for.

I'm not surprised, I just said it was typical.

It's typical of every club (and business) ever, to be quite honest (need money, have an asset, realise that asset). So typical in fact that singling Rangers out for doing it seems like you're setting them apart for some reason, which I misinterpreted as surprise.

I think any club that bins more than 20 players in two years and signs no-one is pretty much singling itself out.

Rangers more in need of asset realisation than most. Hey, they're skint, stop the presses, drudge sirens, etc.

The obvious must never be stated on a football thread.

Tru dat. case in point:

Other bits of the internet just now: "Oh God, not David James, he's rubbish, let's stick with Zaluska and Cervi". Same other bits of the internet a couple of months ago "Oh God, not Steve McClaren, he's rubbish, let's stick with Neil Lennon".

Blinkers*, don't ya just love them? Why let actual fact get in the way of received wisdom and revisionist bullshit**?

* not Regi

** should be the board description when we finally get I Love Football

Apparently Big Fat Sol to Celtic is a thing.

I thought it wasn't a thing any more, or does he come as a BOGOF old English blokes deal with David James? I can't keep up. If he's anything like every other centre half we've tried since the loss of the godlike Gary Caldwell, his hamstrings will be borked within 25 minutes of his first game.

Campbell should switch to Rangers after a season just to make himself as popular in Glasgow as he is in London.

He'd be just about old enough by then, so why not?

Oh, and as an addendum to the FTP discussion upthread, I noticed this morning that someone had sprayed FTP at on the wall of the shop at the end of my road. Someone else has now added "olis" at the end. So, um, there you go.

Penalty shootout from friendly against Sporting Lisbon last night (lol Americans need a winner in a friendly). WTF is Mark Wilson doing being our first guy up in the shootout?

http://www.nesn.com/2010/07/celtic-fc-sporting-cp-settle-tie-with-penalty-kicks.html

So, our record of scoring goals in pre-season friendlies thus far: Sami is quite good at penalties now. Everyone from open play, cow's arse, banjo. GET ONE ROBBIE KEANE (or Scott MacDonald or something) BACK PLEASE KTHANXBYE.

xp

lol thats a good un

Yeah, graffiting shop walls is brilliant :-/

FTQueensofthestoneage-Kyuss4ever

Neil Lennon playing right into your hands here re Efrain Juarez:

He's young too and if he does well there will be a re-sale value

any hibs players to replace him with?

someone had sprayed FTP at on the wall of the shop at the end of my road. Someone else has now added "olis" at the end

one of my earliest memories is of seeing 'fuck the polis' spraypainted on a railway bridge in my hometown and wondering why they had misspelled 'police'. The last time I passed by it was still there, gallantly hanging over the main road into the town centre for at least twenty years and counting.

which town?

Port Glasgow.

jeez what is it with ILX and that area

we did nothing wrong :'(

who else is from around there?

Is the Motherwell game not on telly anywhere?

dont think so

Someone on justin claims to have it on Icelandic telly, but I think they're telling fibs, can't find a link anywhere.

Was looking to half-watch it while watching something else on the telly - will have to make do with live updates via the BBC website, can't be arsed with Radio Scotland.

(Mother)Well done, chaps. Up the coefficient!

Neil Lennon: "Bedlam will start when we return."

Who is this Bedlam and can he play left back?

Strange to have a manager talking up his transfer activity instead of playing it quiet - especially after already signing 5 or 6 players.

Mad Martin's being talking up McGeady, hopefully we'll get a sizeable chunk of the Milner money for him.

Fuck a Sol Bamba, tbh.

He was tired after all those games he didn't play in the World Cup!

Maybe Gordon Strachan will take him off your hands?

lol Jamie "new Kirk Broadfoot" Langfield.

The 30-year-old spilled boiling water over his right foot during the bus journey south after the bus jerked while he was attempting to pour water from a small kettle while making himself a cup of coffee.

http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/Article.aspx/1841338?UserKey=#ixzz0ucguNJW7

For the love of god, stop it with the madness:

http://www.heraldscotland.com/sport/spl/celtic/william-gallas-is-interested-in-a-move-to-celtic-1.1043487

So this Hooper guy then - any good?

what division is he coming from?

The English Championship - scored more than a goal every two games with a struggling Scunthorpe side.

Seems decent enough from what I've read. Possibly worth asking on the lower leagues thread?

Scunthorpe fans on the BBC message boards seem gutted to be losing him, but convinced he's destined for better things. Also his nickname is Hoops, so Hoops on the Hoops seems to be a no-brainer for marketing purposes :-)

btw, not looking forward to having to listen to our European adventures on the radio. Cheers for not wanting any TV money, Portugeezers :-/

cough

"A station is available and will appear here from 16:00 on the day of the event."

:-) But from where? Some dude with a camcorder on top of the rockface stand?

I am informed by regular web watching colleagues that vipstand dot net could be the place to be tonight, if that other one doesn't work.

Look, it's our new non-Smudger-shaped 12 foot lizard. A cricket bloke.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/scotland/8863484.stm

Bricking it for the game tonight. Off for a wee nervous nap.

Anyone able to get to Paisley, Borgia on New Street have their Portuguese telly on, apparently. Unfortunately I have zero cash money so can't go myself. Stupid UEFA and their stupid timing of putting games on two days before payday :-(

Oh, and Paul Hartley has signed for Aberdeen.

Oh I should have given yous the scoop on that yesterday morning - he was sitting with one of my colleagues on a flight to Bristol and told him Aberdeen was pretty much a done deal.

Other linky here if anyone needs it

oops, here

Looks like

-------------------Zaluska-----------------------
Cha ---- Loovens ---- Hooiveld ---- Mulgrew
Juarez --- Brown --- Ki --- Ledley -- Maloney
-----------------Sami---------------------------

Scary defence + midfield who'll meet each other for the first time at kick-off + Sami. What could possibly go wrong?

haha, shit.

Just looking at the team sheet makes me miss Lee Naylor :(

Lineup confirmed, wine going down at great rate of knots already. Split screen game + ILX on the laptop. Going to be a long night...

trying to drag words out of the Portuguese commentary, all I have so far is 'George Lucas'.

McGeady not even on the bench? That's the end of him, then.

14000 viewers on my stream and rising - and it's only one of five on this site.

Aye, that's what I figured as well.

orange ball? What madness is this.

Keep us updated with links if any of them go down, that one I linked to is off already.

(what I figured was about McGeady being off, not that there were 14000 people watching the same channel as onimo)

Oh brilliant, Charlie Mulgrew booked already :-/

Back four giving me the fear. Ki and Sami looking good.

Sami doing his usual "spotted in midfield surrounded by people zillions of miles from goal" lone striker routine, but that's OK for now. Ledley unafraid to go forward (hi dere Scott Brown, you used to be able to do that)

orange ball?!

Mulgrew's gash so far.

what did he get booked for? I missed it

Spot the superfluous "so far" in the above sentence...

Eek, fear! bring back Paul Telfer and Lee Naylor! Take it Andy Hinkel's for the off as well, btw?

(joking about Telfer, not so much about Nayls)

irrational football beliefs: it's impossible to play good football w/a coloured ball

fuck sake

^ this

thought stop start penalty runs were banned?

What is Shaun Maloney supposed to be doing? Has anyone noticed that unless it's "nothing" he isn't doing it?

Daft pen for Ki to give away, we were looking ok for a while :(

Forgot he was playing, tbh. I think he has an' all.

Some Portuguese dude's just tried to wake him up by chopping him in half. Let's see if that works (or breaks him again).

Portuguese dude won the ball imo.

wasn't being entirely serious. am not enjoying this at all now.

what is the deal with stop start penalties

Wiki says (citation needed) that you can slow down but can't stop once you start your run-up

noticed ajax are playing stekelenburg, van der wiel and suarez

cup-tie-a-rific

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/SPORT/football/05/19/football.penalty.FIFA.WorldCup/index.html

(CNN) -- Footballers taking penalties at next month's World Cup finals in South Africa will no longer be able to stop at the end of their run up to try and trick the goalkeeper.

The rule change is a reaction to the growing number of players, particularly in South America, now using so-called feints to deceive the opposition.

In an announcement made at a meeting of the International Football Association Board (IFAB), chaired by FIFA president Sepp Blatter on Tuesday, those who halt just before kicking the ball will receive a yellow card for "unsporting behavior".

"Feinting in the run-up to take a penalty kick to confuse opponents is permitted, however feinting to kick the ball once the player has completed his run-up is now considered an infringement," FIFA secretary general Jerome Valcke told a press conference held at the organizations headquarters in Switzerland.

Players may also be forced to retake the penalty if the ball goes into the net.

This is all assuming it was a deliberate handball in the first place, which wee pixelly screen isn't convincing me of at all.

Is good that it took me half an hour of the season to start moaning about refereeing mistakes. Where's Kerr when you need him? :-)

Oh dear God, can we not just get Mjallby out of the dugout and into the middle of that defence?

I thought it was a pen. Ref's a fussy prick all the same, giving fouls for every wee nudge..

I love* how we have 8 million midfielders and have already resorted to the big pointless hoof up the park to the no-one up front. And seriously, how is it possible to keep finding even worse left backs every single time?

* not really

Mulgrew looking every inch the player you give away to get a Lee Naylor from Wolves.

can we give him away again and get Lee Naylor back from Shettleston Jobcentre?

look everyone, the season is an hour old and my knee is jerking already. It's good to be back.

ah being reasonable is no fun, if somethings going to make me care about Scottish football this season I'm pretty sure it won't be the football itself.

I can't work out what kind of football Neil Lennon wants his team to play here. I know it's early days and all that but they seem directionless.

Murphy on now for Maloney - expect more hoofing of long balls.

Dear TV peeps, stop showing Lenny + Thommo + Dolph, it's like the "here's what you could have won" bit when you win fuck all at the end of Bullseye and they wave a fucking speedboat in your face when you're standing there with a bendy Bully and your bus fare home.

Oh, here comes Darryl Murphy.

First time ever any of those three have been compared to anything speedy.

Right, time to get positive and get this away goal.

of my fucking god celtic that's shocking

lol. I was going for vaguely classy and of value compared to what you actually have.

Oh shite. FFS.

Did that actually come off Glenn Loovens?

ah jeezo guys you're supposed to defend corners.

Loovens out.

It's bouncing at his feet wtf is he doing?

At least we have another few weeks to sign another new team.

Make room in the taxi for Mulgrew as well. I will be positive here and say I like the look* of Juarez when the game's not passing over the top of his head

* not his actual looks. Saw him described somewhere else as just a car crash away from being Carlos Tevez, which is o_0 but lol

Oh, here comes James Forrest. Teeny hero time! (who went off, was it Sami?)

Just think, I have only 24 hours before I have the same reaction.

No. not Sami, just seen him.

MARIBOR STORK NIGHTMARES already copyrighted by me. You're welcome.

fuck off!

Oh ffs

Zaluska out

Going to need a bigger taxi...

Forrest out for that fucking dive as well - put us from a good position straight back into the shit.

well hey, at least a Europa League playoff tie with Man City will be fun, right?

What Europa League play off tie? Thought there was only a parachute from the next round, which we won't be in?

No, this *is* the round with the parachute.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010%E2%80%9311_UEFA_Champions_League#Third_qualifying_round

Not looking forward to seeing Aston Villa's Aiden McGeady ripping Charlie Mulgrew a new one :-(

(can that happen? Haven't bothered looking at seedings, but it seems crushingly inevitable)

Rangers edging closer out of debt then with all champions league cash again then.

Watching us vs Holland in 78 on ESPN classic. Fuck me we were awesome.

and still losers at the same time.

i could watch *that* goal another million times though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8uchI1g3tM

Can he play left back?

I would imagine, at whatever age he is now, he will still be a better left back than Danny Fox!!

Would take Danny Fox back right now, tbh.

http://celticfc.net/news/stories/news_280710221413.aspx

Man of the Match: Glenn Loovens

World officially gone mad.

Andreas Hinkel omission explained:

Although Lennon indicated McGeady still had a future at Parkhead, the same cannot be said for right-back Andreas Hinkel, who was also not in the squad - because he was not registered.

"He's got a year left on his contract and we can't afford to let that run down," Lennon said.

http://www.sportinglife.com/football/news/story_get.cgi?STORY_NAME=soccer/10/07/28/SOCCER_Celtic_Quotes.html

you also can't afford to let two inexperienced fullbacks try to get you the European big bucks, but whatevs, you're the boss.

Season over then?

Nah we've got a realistic shot of running Rangers' 4 remaining players really close this year.

http://sport.stv.tv/football/scottish-premier/celtic/189011-lennon-mcgeady-injury-ruled-him-out-against-braga/

After the final whistle, he insisted injury and not a potential transfer had caused him to leave McGeady out.

"He was complaining of a chronic back injury last night," the Celtic manager said.

If you're going to talk about player injuries and still want to sell them please don't use the word "chronic" as it tends to knock zeros off the end of the price!

Received txt last night, in a desperate display of straw clutching, reminding me that we went on to win the title after Artmedia mugged us. Still would rather not have lost 5-0 to Artmedia tho.

We won the home tie 4-0 against Artmedia (& probably should have scored more) - can't see Braga letting one in never mind four.

maybe he just meant chronic as in stocious?

"Fuckin' chronic" about describes that result last night

Maybe he was carrying too many Dr Dre albums in his bag.

Hey, Lenny, thanks for another midfielder. Going to teach your defenders to involve them rather than punting the ball right over their heads, kthanxbye

He spent years looking up at long punts when he was playing for Martin O'Neill, he thinks that's what midfielders do.

jeez i only saw this result now

Was a bit of a doing considering Braga weren't that great and didn't do much. Soft (though file under "seen them given") penalty that should maybe have been retaken, the shittiest defending from a corner ever and a weird long range free kick that seemed to take a deflection against fresh air, jubilani style, and made an arse of the keeper.

Not very much to report in front of goal apart from that. It's telling that Celtic's best chance was Daryl Murphy trying a cheeky goal from his own half when pretending to give them the ball back following an injury.

the shittiest defending from a corner ever

Keen students of the Celtic defence will know that this is a bold claim, but I tend to agree we've got ourselves a winner. You know it's bad when you find yourself wishing for Steven McManus not to have left :-/

Reporting Scotland unable to get footage to show the Braga goals, so they've wheeled out "highlights" of the Artmedia Bratislava game from five fucking years ago. Cheers.

Motherwell 1-0 up with ten minutes to go. Not all disastrous in Europe this week for teh coefficient.

btw, I really hate the wee flash of Jimmy Calderwood's creosoted mug every time I load this thread. Cheers, Merdeyeux :-(

I should've thought through the effects of multiple viewings, it's true. Consider it encouragement to take up bookmarking.

That's what I was going to suggest.

I use bookmarking but sometimes there's been so many posts since the last bookmark they don't work and then you're stuck looking at jc's mug ; )

Poor the Well.

what is that expression he's got on anyway?

Essence of creosote.

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.

That's yr comedy defending, right there.

Hooray, the women's athletics is back on justin.tv

did motherwell get knocked out?

Gave away a penalty with the last kick of the ball for a draw. Away goal will come in handy for the return leg though.

Boo, the football's back.

ahh ok, first leg.

It's a two-legged tie, Kerr. I realise European football is of no interest to a Hamilton fan at this stage, but Lolverpool are playing the same competition tonight (in fact, they are 1-0 up on Metal Mickey even as we speak).

xpost

Poor the Hibs. Get on with it, coefficient-restorers!

I do use bookmarks, but occasional refreshing of thread leads to a momentary flash of Calderwood, like when you blink and have an image frozen on the eyelids. An image of Jimmy fecking Calderwood.

to a Hamilton fan at this stage

Should say "at any stage", really.

We get a whole three more games this season before you can zing right back...

when I'm in charge we'll all have images of Jimmy Calderwood tattooed onto the insides of our eyelids...

^ Needs to go on this thread: invent a terrifying scenario in 10 words or less

Why is it always Martina Ratej throwing the javelin?

Bring back Martina. Although I think there was a foul in the buildup to that.

UTTER PISH

Welcome to our world. It's shite, isn't it?

At least yours was against a side somebody had actually heard of.

oh dear. Slavoj Zizek, uuuuh some other Slovenian, some other Slovenian, your boys have handed out one hell of a beating.

Hibs fucked. Motherwell carrying the flag. Gonna be a long fucking season.

Oh, Die Hard's on Film4 - fuck a shitty Hibs stream.

Yogi out

david james has gone to a bigger club then after all.

Better, not bigger

Midfielders signed by Celtic in since Gordon Strachan arrived in 2005, with apologies if I've missed any or if anyone thinks Gary Caldwell, Georgios Samaras or Adam Fucking Virgo should count as a midfielder.

Shinsuke Nakamura, Roy Keane, Jiri Jarosik, Evander Sno, Thomas Gravesen, Paul Hartley, Scott Brown, Massimo Donati, Barry Robson, Koki Mizuno, Paddy McCourt, Marc Crosas, Shaun Maloney, Niall McGinn, Willo Flood, Landry N'Guemo, Zheng Zhi, Ki Sung Yueng, Diomancy Kamara, Joe Ledley, Efrain Juarez, Beram Kayal

I make that 22 in 5 years. Given that we've pretty much played a rigid 4-4-2 in that time that's five and a half teams worth of midfielders!

bloody hell

Bearing in mind that Scott Brown is immovable from the midfield unless suspended and that Aiden McGeady isn't even on that list since we didn't buy him, that's a *lot* of guys into not very much space (team sheet wise, like, there's always loads and loads of actual space in the middle of the park when you play with two blokes stapled to the touchlines).

There's some good players on that list (but a decided lack of steel since Hartley and Robson went away), btw.

not only is it 22 in 5 years, it's 14 since 2008! Should really be going with the classic 0-10-0 formation.

We tried that against St Mirren last season, didn't we?

did sny of you guys see this? https://pub.needlebase.com/actions/visualizer/V2Visualizer.do?domain=World-Cup-History

I dont know if it was posted on the world cup thread or not

So McGeady's chronic back injury isn't really that chronic. He misses a crucial champs league game then plays in a nonsense friendly :/

'tic fans have taken over my neighbourhood this ar'ternoon

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/h/heart_of_midlothian/8873858.stm

Hearts have been hit with a record £60,000 fine after a sixth successive season of poor discipline.

The Scottish Football Association have ordered the Tynecastle club to pay £50,000 within 30 days, with £10,000 suspended until January.

The SFA have penalised Hearts every year since the 2004-05 campaign.

And the Edinburgh outfit were again the worst offenders in the Scottish Premier League last term, with 10 red cards and 89 cautions.

You really can't argue with Hearts clogging record. Motherwell ran them close for a few years but the class always comes through.

More shit defending then a good fightback from 2-0 for the draw. Forest & Hooper looked good. Mulgrew with a few deadly crosses, he's still not a left-back.

McGeady's chronic back has mutated into a knacked calf now. Hmmmmmm.

Didn't see yesterday's game at all due to Sky+ error (OK, human error of forgetting to set Sky+, whatever). Settling down for today's ill-timed meaningless shitfest right now.

Kilmarnock manager Mixu Paatelainen has made his first signing since taking over at Rugby Park, snapping up [...] winger David Silva.

good signing, that.

ha, I totally had to double-take on that when I read it earlier.

Neil Lennon gives his new mentor the vote of confidence:

"He doesn't need to be my pal, we're just going to talk football,"

Hey, I'm not Neil Lennon's pal, I'll talk football to him. "Charlie Mulgrew's no' that good, mate". There you go, simple, I'll take cash or a cheque, ta. I sort of really don't quite understand what Baxter's actual job is going to be. It doesn't appear to have been mentioned on the club site yet, so I don't even know if it's an actual job, or if he's just someone Neil Lennon isn't necessarily pals with but might phone up if he remembers he hasn't got a clue what he's doing.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/celtic/8877120.stm

Oh, and the Scotland squad's announced. I remained underwhelmed.

Better quotes in the Evening Times:

http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/sport/stuart-baxter-my-role-at-celtic-1.1045256

putting the "he doesn't need to be my pal" in context. Doesn't Neil Lennon have people like, ooh, I dunno, Martin O'Neill, that he can ring up for a chat, rather than having an officially-sanctioned ear to bend?

I still don't know if he's actually *employed* by Celtic to be Lenny's personal advice line. " I am in contact with them as a consultant, in inverted commas" doesn't sound very official to me. Is he paid by the minute? By the good idea?

Ah, seems he's not a thing. As you were.

I am watching last Friday's "The Football Years". Here's Jim McLean mumping about overpriced foreign footballers infiltrating Scottish football on the back of Rangers buying the league in 1998/99: "we were bringing players from all over Europe to try and stay in the league. Some of them were good and some of them were DUMPLINGS!. We had enough of them here already without bringing in more from overseas". <3

Hey, look what I found on the old thread:

The international, who has 32 international caps, could play in centre midfield, on the left hand side or even fill in at left-back as he has done on occasion for Cardiff.

^ about Joe Ledley, who played the second half at left back tonight. Still, at least it only took Lenny 135 minutes of competitive football to realise what we've all been saying for ages, that Chuckie Mulgrew is crap.

Still, a win's a win, even when it's an overall loss. Up teh coefficient!

(Zaluska + Loovens = fear, btw)

lol why did no-one tell me about neil lennon's twitter

Bugger!
32 minutes ago via TweetCaster

Still, we're going to rip The erse out of this Europa league!
30 minutes ago via TweetCaster

Oh, fucking wank-socks!
2:31 PM Jul 28th via TweetCaster

mulgrew is even worse than i had previously thought.

Agreed, and I had previously thought he was fucking gash and shouldn't be seen anywhere near a Celtic team.

he is terribad no doubt

rofl
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-10881566

Ras fails to turn up shocker

"his present whereabouts are unknown."

Can't the police work out where Celtic train?

maybe that's why the game wasn't on the telly last night http://www.smileyslord.com/smileys/ninja-disappearing-smiley.gif

Mr Rasmussen is charged with driving in his Audi car at 43mph in a 30mph area...

This passes for Wild Man behaviour in Denmark

http://www.transfermarkt.de/de/celtic-glasgow-an-werder-profi-niemeyer-interessiert/news/anzeigen_43850.html

Google tells me that says
"Celtic has an eye on Peter Niemeyer by Bundesliga Werder Bremen thrown. The Scottish first division looks after the departure of the last borrowed Cameroonian Landry N'Guemo (AS Nancy) action at the six position. Niemeyer could occupy the position in defensive midfield. "Yes, there is contact with Celtic," Niemeyer's advisers acknowledge Gerd Merheim on demand from Transfermarkt.de."

I thought Biram Kayal was the new improved N'Guemo?

no sure about this
http://celticsuperstore.co.uk/product_images/maxzoom/prd_maxzoom_celtic-69865.jpg

             Boruc
Hinkel  Caldwell  McManus  Naylor

vs

           Zaluska 
Cha  Loovens  Hooiveld  Mulgrew

I choose last year :(

looks like the snp logo on the left hand side just below the T

It's '1888' in squinty futuristic writing from 1974, it looks like shit. I like the colour though.

yeah calculator writing.

Shirt says "boobs" if you hold it upside dwon

5537637 amirite

yeah tis a nice shade of green

am no a 317718 am a Tim

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/scot_prem/8889822.stm

Interesting wee dilemma for Gers fans:
If Rangers sign Jelavic and Celtic are drawn against Rapid Vienna in the Europa qualifier, Rangers would need Celtic to go through to avoid Jelavic being cup-tied for the Champion's League.

Surely we can't play Rapid Vienna again

If they go through tonight it's possible :(

Actually their game was on Tuesday so they're already through to tomorrow's draw.

surely no chance they're buying him? they couldn't afford to give eagles £15k a week - allegedly.

I like the new away strip and think i might buy it. i concede that it is sort of ganting.

Aye I don't get how they can let Boyd go rather than pay him £20k a week then sign a (reportedly) £3.5m striker when they can't afford Eagles.

Then again, Celtic going out last night = £2m extra for Rangers from UEFA.

Down to minus £78 million then, surely they can afford to go daft now!

Cannot agree with "Charlie Mulgrew is pure gash and then some" comments enough.

Also, stop it with the fecking midfielder, OK? Though if we're going to turn Joe Ledley into a left back, then maybe another one wouldn't go amiss, especially since we seem to have broken Shaun again.

Maribor score. Nightmare.

shaun has been diabolical since he came back, give or take a couple of games, get him to fuck.

Maribor score. Nightmare.

20th minute as well, Hibs mirroring Celtic again, get your dough on 2-1.

I am not that stupid, we'll never score twice. Or once.

Oh well, that was RONGOPEDIA.

Didn't want to play in europe anyway.

:( i feel your pain.

i wish there was an i love football just because then i would get away with starting a thread called CELTIC and populating it with responses that were just CELTIC CELTIC CELTIC in bold letters.

Yogi out

― Hey Jabulani! Pope of four four two. (aldo), Thursday, 29 July 2010 21:13 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://www.rickey.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Yogi-Bear-3D.jpg

(stolen from 'up the arse corner')

Was just reading about about the Europa League draw and came across this:

Liverpool FC and Juventus sealed their passage when the second legs concluded on Thursday evening and are not the only former European Champion Clubs' Cup winners in the Friday's draw, with six holders of the continent's biggest prize preparing to make their bows. Porto are chief among them, with PSV, FC Steaua Bucureşti, Aston Villa FC, Feyenoord and BV Borussia Dortmund completing a stellar lineup.

THEY FORGOT ABOUT US!?!?

http://www.uefa.com/uefaeuropaleague/news/newsid=1510070.html

Possible ties that might mess up the old coefficient:

Juventus vs Dundee United
Man City vs Motherwell
Celtic vs anyone from Grasshopper, Trabzonspor, Utrecht, AIK, Qarabağ

Carrier Bag? They're no Robotnik.

what's this thing about an appeal re Villareal?

Do we have to get someone from our group then? I couldn't even actually work out their explanation. Ah well. Celtic v anyone anywhere in Europe will mess up the coefficient. I wasn't even joking about hoping we wouldn't get Motherwell (even though I know we can't)

I think that's how it works, otherwise why are there groups at all?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FK_Qaraba%C4%9F

The club was the first club outside Baku to have won the Azerbaijan Premier League. They are also the most successful Azerbaijani football team in European competition (with 3 continuous wins)

better than us then

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/70/Karab8.jpg
A fan with FK Qarabağ bandage.

New merchandising opportunity for Celtic Superstore, a Hoops jakey bandage :)

o jeez. That ball where the mouth should be is srsly distressing.

Celtic vs Utrecht

Dundee United vs AEK Athens

Odense vs Motherwell

Interesting ties. What I mean, I've heard of all of those teams... even Motherwell

hm, three ties in which it's vaguely conceivable that the Scottish team wins. By which I mean they'll run em close, by which I mean they'll get hammered.

You think Dundee Utd have a chance against AEK? Are they not quite good (by which I mean I have vague memories of them being good an unspecified number of years ago)?

iirc it was AEK knocking Rangers out of the Champs League that prompted the infamous Chick vs Wattie spat.

I have a vague sense that they've gotten significantly rubbisher in the past few years, but I don't really know what my basis for that is. It seems they finished their league last season in 4th, 17 points behind winners Panathinaikos, so I guess that sense has some place in reality? My half-memories are most likely still exaggerating in thinking that Utd have a chance, though.

Just checked - that was 16 years ago o_O

1994/1995
European Cup	Rangers		0-1	AEK Athens	24-08-1994
European Cup	AEK Athens	2-0	Rangers		10-08-1994

Ah, happy days

Aye the only thing that helped with the endless gloom of the 90s was seeing Rangers come up short in Europe.

1995/1996
European Cup	Rangers		0-4	Juventus	01-11-1995
European Cup	Juventus	4-1	Rangers		18-10-1995

o_O

http://www.scotsman.com/celticfc/Carluke-man-jailed-for-making.6461950.jp?
Carluke man jailed for making Cheryl Cole death threats and threatening to blow up Celtic Park

Aye, I remember reading about that at the time when he made the threats, and wondering why it wasn't really a thing (you'd think NUTTER THREATENS TO BLOW UP CELTIC might be right up the Record's over-reacting street, tbh). Might have been here, might have been on another popular but now-rubbish Celtic-based website though.

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11661_6297979,00.html

"Celtic are stepping up their interest in Birmingham forward James McFadden, skysports.com understands."

Not keen on that one, much as I love his occasional heroics for Scotland.

Least he's not a midfielder, though don't we have enough non-prolific strikers? Can he play left-back, etc?

I'd say he's closer to midfielder than centre-forward tbh.

This is all smoke and mirrors of course, we'll unveil 1 x goalie, 1 x left back, 1 x centre half, 1 x Robbie Keane and 1 x Craig Bellamy just in time for the Europa deadline :)

retroactive swap deal with Fiorentina with Frey, hijack Real's bid for Cole and Arsenal's bid for Mertesacker, and DONE.

Don't see why not - we only had 10,000 empty seat for the champs league qualifier so the cash must be flying in. 1000 kid's season tickets will pay Robbie Keane's wages, for a week.

What with all the money they're saving by cutting back on minimum wage piestand assistants*, we'll be laughing all the way to the pound shop :-)

* don't even know if they pay the one at our bit of the north stand, as I believe it's Lukas Zaluska's kid. No idea how many pies have been dropped.

ooh look, Rangers players be pulling out of the Scotland squad (Elbows and Webster).

And it looks like Aiden's off to Moscow for reals (and £9.5 million). Cheers for a few good goals, a lot of unrealised potential and the opportunity to yell "OH FFS PASS THE FECKING BALL TO SOMEONE" 8000 times a season. Hopefully the money will go to 1 x left back, 1 x goalie and 1 x Craig Bellamy/Robbie Keane

and 1 x centre half. Hearing rumours that someone (else) might be stupid enough to part with cash money for Glenn Loovens. Hopefully cheerio and thanks for, er, I'll get back to you on that.

I remembered that he went kung fu on a Rangers player's knee once, but looking it up I see it was Edu rather than anyone deserving. Half marks?

Oh, was in the shop earlier and clocked a "Rangers knock back Eidur Gudjohnsen" headline. As in "Rangers can't afford Eidur Gudjohnsen's wages, but let's pretend they had an option of saying yes rather than embarrassingly shuffling outof the list of clubs he's being hawked round places on loan". Sunday Mail, obv.

Um, should have maybe finished rewriting that before hitting submit, eh?

I hear that we've also pulled out of the race for Ibrahimovic. Wouldn't be able to hack it in the physical SPL, innit.

Fake Paddy McCourt might be onto something.

PaddyMcCourt20

Zaluska's in pieces wondering if he'll ever save a free-kick again. Told him to crack out Boruc's Pope t-shirt to buy himself time! #Celtic about 1 hour ago via Echofon

Fake Paddy McCourt underestimating the tolerance factor of yr average Celtic fan (well, taking me as yr average Celtic fan).

It's nice to be top of the division - even if it is only for one week.

Frances says Dumbarton are performing like she expected.

Dear the internet: Neil Lennon will not be sacked and replaced by Martin O'Neill. Large amounts of you are mental.

lol

O'neill is a money manager, there's more chance of him being the next Boro manager than Celtic.

there's more chance of the ailsa/onimo dream team!

Which left back would be your first signing btw? ;)

Lee Naylor.

just reliving the horror of the end of the 2004-5 season on that year's SPL thread, and departure of MON not exactly lamented. Saying that, I'm also getting all excited at the prospects afforded by the brilliant Maciej Zurawski on same thread and bigging up Craig Beattie, so was evidently under influence of drugs for the year.

Predictor's back up and running, folks. Will try and get a mini-league sorted, unless someone (or general apathy) beats me to it.

Farewell then, at last, Aiden. I've moaned at your final ball/shot/inability to look up as much as the next entitled season-book waving arsehole but on your day you were an absolute joy to behold. Good luck, and we'll maybe see you again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN-nGDRIduE

I bet during the season plenty of you will realise what you're missing now he's off.
You better hope Lennon spends wisely.

Assuming the biscuit tin doesn't get it.

Good luck, and we'll maybe see you again.

But hopefully not Maloney-style

Keep Maloney fit and Celtic & Scotland have a really good player.

I bet during the season plenty of you will realise what you're missing now he's off.

I already noted his absence (or the absence of anyone holding the ball) vs FC Braga. Dunno why you'd make that bet though, given that you rated him worth about a quarter of what Spartak paid.

Keep Maloney fit and Celtic & Scotland have a really good player.

By "keep" you mean "get" - he's already limped off this season and we've hardly kicked a ball. At least he made it to October last year.

oh don't get me wrong, i like mcgeady as a player, i just don't think he was worth £9.5m . He still was the most talented player in Scotland, despite his inconsistencies

I bet during the season plenty of you will realise what you're missing now he's off.

S'alright, we've got plenty other players unwilling or incapable of making the crucial pass at the right time 9 times out of 10.

Pretty much what onimo said generally though. Frustating, but occasionally (too occasionally for my liking) brilliant. I hope Moscow treats him well (I suspect less chance of being beaten up in the street, for starters).

Would give Sami or MAF a go on the wing for now.

really? can you loan us paddy mccourt then?

No. There are two wings, and often substitutions. Sorry. Go find your own cheap prodigies in cheap leagues.

james beattie will score many many fine goals imo

Who for though? Cannot see them being able to afford him since they couldn't afford Chris Eagles' mighty wage demands.

signed for rangers?

http://www.football365.com/story/0,17033,8652_6310179,00.html

soz 2 brake hart

We'll survive

Oh, OK, didn't realise it was a done deal now (BBC not so quick off the mark). First signing for two years. No pressure then.

he'll do it. would take him ahead of crouch tbrr

though he's no kevin davies

Kevin Davies has been linked with a move to Rangers every year since records began. Though I doubt Kevin Davies is aware of this though.

which one was the giant guy?

Andre

lol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Majstorovi%C4%87

^latest rumoured Celtic signing - wiki already says he's at Celtic.

Jolly good. Can we have a left-back and a goalie now please?

Almunia for Celtic - heard it all now

http://blogs.dailyrecord.co.uk/tamcowan/jumpers.jpg

beattie should score a ween of goals up here

One good season in the Championship and another umpteen years ago aside he's hardly been prolific. 2 league goals last year and 7 the year before, 13 in three seasons with Everton. Even if he doubles his scoring rate he won't come close to Boyd's level. I think he'll do well for Rangers but won't be a 25 a season striker.

Didn't know whether to be more embarrassed for him or the laptop loyal at his press conference:
Hack: "So is this the biggest club you've ever played for" ("please please give me a Bigger Than Celtic quote")
Beattie: "uh... well I got a lot of texts from people telling me I'd just signed for the biggest club in the world"
Hack: "hahaha" (scribble scribble)
(something about the challenge of playing for the mighty Gers)
Beattie: "Yes, stepping out for the Biggest Club In Scotland, maybe in Europe..."
Hack: "BINGO YA FUCKIN BEAUTY GET IT RIGHT UP YEES" (scribble scribble wank wank)

spl tho innit

How many 5-15 goals a season past their best strikers have actually come up from the Premier League and scored for fun in the SPL? It doesn't really happen nearly as often as people think.

football is still ~voodoo~ to me tho after 20+ years so whudoIkno

xp

don't think there's any are there

sutton/hartson/(keane?) did well enough but didn't score for fun, really, flo/bellamy's records good but a little worse

Sutton was never *that* prolific in England or Scotland and wasn't past his best (£10m move then one bad season at Chelsea before coming to Celtic)
Hartson improved a good bit - from one every two games for Wimbledon & Coventry to two every three for Celtic or thereabouts.
Keane is the best example probably, and even he was still getting a goal every three games for Spurs.

The only player I can think of who better than doubled his scoring record coming to Scotland is Henrik Larsson - who was often played out wide for Feyenoord.

Oh wait, Marco Negri probably had a tenfold increase in goals for the five minutes he could be arsed scoring them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Negri

More than a goal a game but only made 30 appearances in 4 years lol

Negri scored 23 goals in his first ten league games.

o_O

didn't he score 27 before christmas? then give up

ridic

from youtube

Ive known marco and his wife monica for 10 years he did get an eye injury playing squash but thats not what kept him out so long he got an injury in training and picked up a flesh eating bug on his calf and when dick advocat came in he was frozen out he loved scotland and rangers

I always thought "eye injury playing squash" was code for "punched by team-mate/manager".

xp

also yeah fairly sure henrik was a winger (or outside forward) at feyenoord and sutton's record was better than I remember, looking over the wiki page, but granted he was always more the heel in the SAS

watching a negri compilation right now btw

so many hateful cnuts: durie, cleland, albertz etc

think that's the last time I properly cared about scottish football. rip

His low-key celebrations were noteworthy - often he felt the need only to exchange a handshake with other players and showed little in the way of facial expressions.

Has anyone ever looked more gutted to score five goals?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8DquCot2ss

(lovely Bergkampesque third btw)

(first sentence there was a wikipedia quote)

oleg didn't look exactly ecstatic against cameroon, maybe it's a rangers thing

did at least crack a celebration tho

I do believe Christian Dailly just got shown two reds for the one incident.

WTF @ BBC Scotland tonight - preview of the season ahead from... the Ibrox trophy room! Also "Rangers have signed England internationalist James Beattie" - he hasn't been capped for six years! Why did they ever let England internationalist Francis Jeffers go?

Minileague name: ILX SPL league 2010
Password: g8gssjb8

a Paul Hartley hat trick! Has everyone been out enjoying the games or do we really care so little this season?

I was away all day at Blair Drummond with a shitty mobile signal - occasional texts from Ailsa let me know we were top of the league teatime.

Congratulations to Paul Hartley on his stunning etc. Aberdeen have as many new players as Celtic, looks like they're gelling a bit quicker.

*until* teatime

This is going to end up 6 each again, isn't it...

There have been enough chances for it but Well's poor finishing and great goalkeeping have kept it to just the five goals so far. Bamba's taking persistent to a whole new level without being booked for it - just runs into the back of anyone with the ball over and over.

Deek's been rubbish. Might explain why he's been making public noises about a new contract.

Miller and Stokes will win most of Hibs points this season - Miller on his game can run a midfield & Stokes is always in the right place. Deek was poor but set up two goals with great crosses - I'd rather have that than e.g. McGeady being great and setting up no goals with no great crosses.

Motherwell looked very good yet contrived to lose a game they controlled for large periods. Still fancy them to make the top six again.

Fair point on Deek. Well should comfortably make the top 6, I reckon top 4.

Has everyone been out enjoying the games or do we really care so little this season?

Sorry, have been in That London, where I watched the Celtic game in a pub with three people (including me!) dancing ecstatically round one tiny telly going "OMG PADDY McCOURT WE LOVE YOU", occasionally remembering to text onimo to remind him that Charlie Mulgrew is still gash, while the rest of the 87 squillion people in the pub got all excited about some London team or other not scoring against some guy that won a stand-off with Shay Given. Or something.

Also, still traumatised from a Scotland team with two ex-St Midden players in it.

Aldo, yr ILX minileague appears to be adding on points from last year an' all.

Which is fine, because I appear to have one single solitary point for this weekend.

Oh, and I saw Murdo McLeod at the airport tonight, he appeared to be waving his family off on holiday or welcoming them back, or something. There was hugging anyway.

Thought celtic played alright yesterday. Clean sheet away is always nice. Mccourt is an enigma wrapped in a celtic tap wrapped in a beard. I think I'm getting his name on the back of my shirt. Something I never even did when I was a wean.

Clean sheet away is always nice.

You say that like it's almost a regular occurrence. Clean sheets away are a 2004 kind of thing, but I'm all for their comeback.

Inverness is always a terrible place to go (for Celtic, like, I quite like it myself, what with being from there and everything), so clean sheet good, but we did still look like we were doing that giving-teams-a-headstart thing, even if they didn't capitalise on it. We could also have done with an actual centre forward at some point.

I love Paddy McCourt though. I don't wear Celtic shirts, but I would have his name on one if I did.

Not sure it does, as mine looks right. But if it's fucked up then it's the BBC's fault and I'm sure they'll notice think about fixing it puppies at some point.

hi dere big beastie centre half!

http://www.dn.se/polopoly_fs/1.833136.1238355480!image/2565877685.jpg_gen/derivatives/article-landscape/2565877685.jpg

http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/sport/editor-s-picks/nikica-jelavic-could-go-on-work-to-rule-1.1049022

"Nikica Jelavic could go on work to rule"

"Nikica Jelavic could be ready to down tools"

"Jelavic could “pick up an injury”"

So which is it? Doesn't "working to rule" mean training and playing if selected?

A Go Slow then - he'd fit in a Rangers for sure then

http://www.sportinglife.com/football/scottishpremier/news/story_get.cgi?STORY_NAME=soccer/10/08/18/SOCCER_Celtic_Izaguirre.html&TEAMHD=scotspremiership

Celtic manager Neil Lennon has confirmed Honduras left-back Emilio Izaguirre has signed for the club.

A LEFT BACK!

We said that about Danny Fox! And Edson Bawheid! (I don't remember saying it about Charlie Mulgrew, right enough...)

I hope it's pronounced like "Es are good" so he has an instant song if he's not rubbish.

'Spose too much to expect "Izaguirre - Wrath of God" headlines from Daily Record subeditors?

Izaguirre = Ees-ah-gear-eh.

Sorry to disappoint :)

'E's a geezer, then?

kinda fear for celtic this season, beattie and weiss seem like much better signings than your lot already :/

do rate hooper though

They've got Vladimir Weiss? Bastards.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vladimir_Weiss

this is one of my favourite wiki pages

WAS VERY IMPRESSED BY Weiss's performance against the Kiwis in the World Cup, looks like it'll be a good signing for Rangers

Beattie's 2 goals a season for Stoke have certainly got me scared. I know little about Weiss other than that he's a promising talent who graced the Bolton bench. His comments about wanting to follow in Lubo Moravcik's footsteps and play for Celtic will endear him to all of his new supporters.

If they sign Jelavic I'd imagine Kenny Miller and/or Kevin Davis and/or Madjid Bougherra won't see the end of the transfer window at Rangers.

would imagine it's pretty hard to improve on your goal tally if you're injured half the season then the manager nuts you and banishes you from the first team. was very effective for them the previous season - arguably the main reason they stayed up - and was way too good for the championship before that. if he hasn't let himself go recently beattie will do well in scotland imo.

22 starts last season despite injuries and headbutts.

13 goals in 76 starts over three seasons with Everton when he was in his prime.

I think he's a handful of a player to mark and he'll get his share of goals but he won't match Boyd's tally.

Jelavic looks like going to Rangers btw - omitted from the Rapid team for tonight. He looked a handy player last season against Celtic and Villa (scored in all four games iirc).

Will be very happy if Steven Davis and/or Kenny Miller and/or Madjid Bougherra go before the end of August.

Am hoping that Weiss is like every other player that euphemistically snubbed a Celtic approach to go to Rangers instead (Adamzcyk, Petric), or indeed the other way round (Loovens, Gravesen). Basically, we all need new scouting policies that aren't "nab whoever the other guy is after". Think John Hartson might be the only decent guy ever to come out of this scenario, tbh.

xpost Jelavic looks a decent signing for them, aye.

kinda fear for celtic this season, beattie and weiss seem like much better signings than your lot already

I would like to suggest that, based on tonight's evidence, they will not be better than Efrain Juarez and Beram Kayal. Juarez was immense first half, and the presence of actual midfielders had a very positive effect on Scott Brown. Now if we can actually get a real left back playing at left back rather than Joe Ledley, and a centre half that isn't Glenn Loovens, and a goalie that doesn't give me the fear, we might be on to something.

As a great man once said, you can prove anything with facts:

Nikica Jelavić					Georgios Samaras 
Age 24 						Age 25
Career: 159 Apps, 51 Goals (0.32gpg) 		Career: 253 Apps, 79 Goals (0.31gpg)
Cost: £4.1 million				Cost: £1.5 million
Caps: 6 					Caps: 38

(also worthy of note is that Sami's spent a lot of time playing wide)

sami's goal was really well taken last night

Didn't stop today's Record hotline being full of idiots wanting to sell him and Fortune :-(

Good luck Lee Naylor, who has just signed for Cardiff.

I would like to suggest that, based on tonight's evidence, they will not be better than Efrain Juarez and Beram Kayal.

gonna resist the temptation to scream LOL DARYL MURPHY at full blast and instead say yeah perhaps i did put that a bit strongly. but i dunno, from afar i'm still getting the cadete-hooijdonk-di canio era good players but rangers will brutally turn them over vibe. do very much hope i'll be proved wrong cos i am no fan of rangers.

I am pretending Darryl Murphy doesn't really exist, and is merely a "oh aye, him" replacement for Chris Killen/Ben Hutchinson.

Am hoping Dan Majstorovic is the answer to Rangers' brutal overturning of everything in their wake, and look forward to him punting Kyle Lafferty into row Z first opportunity he gets.

was checking pierre's career stats lately

dude could score a goal

I am pretending Darryl Murphy doesn't really exist, and is merely a "oh aye, him" replacement for Chris Killen/Ben Hutchinson.

― ailsa

This seems to be Neil Lennon's strategy too :)

Yeah, playing with no actual centre forwards in the absence of Gary Hooper seems to be paying off (for now). Who needs them anyway?

ESPN pulling in the crowds with Hamilton v Hearts.

I'm not getting how Rangers minus Boyd, Thompson, Novo, Beasley, Wilson plus Beattie, Jelovic, Weiss makes them a better prospect for the league this season.

For me it's a question of whether or not Celtic are better than they were under Mowbray - early days yet but I'm tentatively thinking they might be. Juarez and Kayal look like the actual proper passing, running, shooting & tackling midfielders we've been missing for a long time. I still think we've got a striker, a keeper and maybe a centre half to come in.

First my first prediction of the season already :(

*Missed* my first

Yeah, losing Wilson means they are a late-bid-for-Bougherra away from playing with a pensioner and Kirk Broadfoot at the back. Not that I quite ever got the Wilson love, but having NO backup at all (given that Broadfoot also backup for Whittaker, so break anyone and they basically have no defence) doesn't scream title assault to me.

Cracking goal from Templeton for Hearts there, btw. Comedy defence and keeper action as well.

Aye, I missed it by about 30 seconds an' all. Fuck a noon kick-off, really.

xpost

I got mine in with about 30 seconds to spare, but I might as well not have bothered. Hamilton are never going to get a consolation goal out of this, are they?

No. Is that Scott Booth on the punditry panel (have the sound off)? He looks like someone else that I can't quite place (possibly Austin Healy?) His hair looks fake and his face is orange (though that might be my computer, to be fair).

lol, just turned the sound on to hear commentator accidentally claim that Dougie Imrie cost £25m.

yeah i just think it will come down to mentality rather than simply talent and celtic seem like they might be brittle in comparison. on paper you were better than them last season too.

also disagree that rangers are significantly weaker - weiss is better than beasley, beattie & jelovic look like an upgrade from boyd and novo to me. true enough about any injuries though.

4-0 Hearts, both teams down to ten men (no-one will be at all surprised to find out that the two sent off were Palazuelos and Canning!), Hamilton looking like relegation fodder already.

The Hamilton Hearts game was so entertaining I fell asleep before half time...

Celtic weren't actually that brittle last season, but they failed because trying to play two lightweight midfielders and two wingers stapled to the byline against five SPL cloggers was never going to work as a game-bossing tactic, especially with no settled defence behind them. The addition/retention of a Hartley or a Robson or similar would have made a massive difference. This idea of playing non-wingy wingers who are actually strikers with three midfielders, one of whom has a licence to go forward at will, seems much more suited.

beattie & jelovic look like an upgrade from boyd and novo to me

Don't know enough about Jelavic, but Boyd and Novo pretty much knew what the SPL was about and how to play in it. I think losing both of them will be a huge blow to Rangers. I think they'll miss Kevin Thompson massively, and if they lose Steven Davis as well then a midfield of McCulloch (actually forgot about him as a stand-in centre half, and also forgot they've got Andy Webster back from Dundee United as well), Weiss, Fleckaldinho and Edu isn't going to cause me many sleepless nights (apart from McCulloch-induced nightmares)

Hamilton looking like relegation fodder already.

― ailsa

They'll be ok if they bring their promising youths through
http://videocelts.com/2010/08/blogs/five-goal-james-keatings-on-fire-for-youths

"James Keatings made his first youth team appearance of the season as Celtic’s youth side demolished Hamilton Accies at 8-0 at the Barrafield."

:)

Think Hamilton will probably be ok tbh - didn't they have a similarly shit start last year?

Can't remember, tbh. I hope they stay up, because that means more likely that ICT will go straight back down again. I would fear for a Mixu-helmed Killie though.

They had a shocking start

Hamilton 2009/2010 results and fixtures
Scottish Premier 	Kilmarnock 	3-0 	Hamilton 	15-08-2009 
Scottish Premier 	Hamilton 	0-3 	Aberdeen 	22-08-2009 
Scottish League Cup 	Ross County 	2-1 	Hamilton 	25-08-2009 
Scottish Premier 	Rangers 	4-1 	Hamilton 	29-08-2009 
Scottish Premier 	Hamilton 	2-0 	Hibernian 	13-09-2009 

I would fear for a Mixu-helmed piss-up in a brewery.

Only putting 2 past Hibs, that *is* shocking (sorry aldo!)

First Celtic player on the scoresheet as Graham Carey scores for Huddersfield.

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/sport/spl/3105632/Arsenal-eye-Juarez-after-four-games.html

(journo seems to think we're playing St Mirren today, so A+ research and journalistic credentials)

I suppose Arsene forgot to watch Mexico when he was at the World Cup.

Load of old bollocks - still World Cup 'star' + long contract + Champs League goals = £wonga. We are all about the resale value these days but it would be nice to get a couple of seasons out of them first.

Internet also rumouring that Glenn Loovens is going away back to Wales to shore up the Cardiff defence alongside Nayls. Bye! Hopefully someone else coming in because thus far Jos Hooiveld doesn't walk it like he talks it at all, Rogne is good but perma-knacked, and Josh Thompson, if he still exists, makes Gary Caldwell look like Usain Bolt.

Allan McGregor been taking cheating lessons from Vile Lafferty as he attempts to get Derek Riordan sent off.

Jesus, the is one bad-tempered game. Lafferty is a pure arsehole.

I was just coming on to post that. xpost about Scotland's Top Stopper.

Hibs red card a bit soft, tbh (see also Derek Riordan booking for making Allan McGregor feign injury)

Rewatching the red cards, there's no way McBride should have gone. On the other hand, Lafferty is pure mental ned violence on stupid gangly legs.

I'm pretty happy with the start to the season for Raith.
Of course going it alone at top of the table after beating your biggest derby rivals and scoring 8 goals in the first three matches is about as good a start to a season as I can remember!
I think it should be an interesting game midweek against Hamilton.

Well done Raith. treefell, when was it you were planning over to Glasgow again? we should definitely try and arrange to have an Scottish Football thread FAP.

I am more than happy with Celtic over the last couple of games. Is weird having nothing to moan about (we've just dispensed with the idea of fullbacks all together). Couldn't even choose a man of the match today out of a good six or seven front runners! (fwiw, I think I've decided it would have been Scott Brown just over MAF.) This new-found optimism is a bit unsettling.

I'm tempering my enthusiasm with the knowledge that we'll need actual full-backs against teams that can keep the ball & we've got a really nervous looking goalkeeper. Everything from midfield forwards is looking pretty good and we seem to have found the centre half pairing that makes the fewest mistakes.

Neil Lennon told Radio Scotland they're close to signing a keeper and that it's not Shay Given, that should put that rumour to bed.

I'm through for the the Wilco gig on the 16th September and I'm staying overnight after the gig so I might be able to hang around town on the Friday too.

Keeper is Fraser Forster, Newcastle's third-choice keeper. He's 6'7". And he isn't Lukas Zaluska.

Teams won't get to keep the ball because our new winning midfield will never let them have it for long enough. Keep the faith, man!

Hearing that bobby zamora may be our new number 7.
about 5 hours ago via TweetDeck

I should really stop fishing around the net for rumours and just wait and see what happens.

Oh man, stop it! I'm trying not to believe the theory that we've signed a cheapo left back and a cheapo goalie because we're saving all the money for a shiny exciting #7, but then people keep flinging vaguely credible theories as to who they might be saving the jersey for and I get all excited again. Will be glad when it's next Tuesday night, tbh, and James McFadden is not our new number 7 the madness ends until January.

forster's meant to be excellent by all accounts. if i was in charge i'd plonk the ~£3m down for keiren westwood and be sorted for the next four + years though - is there some sort of young goalkeeping megatalent celtic are keeping the gloves warm for or is it just short-term thinking?

If there is megatalent around, they're hiding him behind Dominic Cervi, so assume it is short-termism enough to win the league and get back into the Champions League again and allow us a bit more spending power to improve. Neil Lennon spent his career at Celtic with Rab Douglas standing behind him and they did alright, so I'm guessing he's working on the assumption that if the ten guys in front of him are great, the keeper just needs to be OK. Still doesn't stop the involuntary shudders whenever the ball goes near Zaluska though...

As I think I said to Ailsa at the game, Zaluska's no worse a keeper than Rab Douglas, but his belief in his own ability to deal with back passes bears no resemblance to the reality. The defenders need to be told to use the back pass as a last resort rather than treating him as a fellow footballer.

Forster looks a prospect and I'm happy he's coming but I'd much rather have a permanent first choice goalie the manager believes in.

The defenders need to be told to use the back pass as a last resort rather than treating him as a fellow footballer.

Truthiest of truthbombs. I believe I may have suggested the excessive use of the Loovens/Zaluska one-two as an effective laxative.

hamilton sign jimmy floyd hasselbaink's nephew

haha, OMG, there are people on the internet who want us to sell MAF and replace him with Chris Eagles. Transfer window needs slamming shut ASAP.

So the Rovers beat Hamilton - I did say I thought it would be an interesting match.

Ooh, congratulations! (and commiserations to pfunk, obv)

Stokes to Celtic done and dusted according to some Internet rumour-mongers.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Cheaper than what we paid for Daryl Murphy, to basically be Daryl Murphy when we already have a Daryl Murphy that we paid a Daryl Murphy sized fee for. Yippee.

He's almost a goal a game in Scotland but was nearer a goal a team in England. I'd happily put him in front of Murphy in the queue of bench warmers.

OK, so he's Chris Killen then :-)

This is more a criticism of Daryl Murphy (well, of his signing) than of Stokes, btw.

ooft
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-11084526

Fortune picked last night then sold this morning wtf is going on?

Waah. RIP big man, heaven (well, West Brom) needed someone to squish wee dudes just by leaning in their direction. Like Lee Naylor, I liked you even when no-one else did (except when you were rubbish).

This had better not be leading up to the unveiing of Anthony bloody Stokes, btw.

Just read in the Herald about Craig Brown punching someone last night. Way to go, old man!

Stokes is coming, as far as anyone anywhere on the Internet and seemingly in the know knows.

Aye heard on the radio that Brown punched someone in retaliation to a shove - hopefully it's on youtube. More fight in him than our lot that's for sure.

Stokes is coming

Whoo and indeed hoo. lol at everyone who thought the removal of Strachan and Mowbray would stop the procession of Hibees in the Celtic Park revolving door (me included, btw).

New left back looks happy :-/

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/48903000/jpg/_48903361_emilio466.jpg

Also this: "I will put the effort in during training every day and play each match with Celtic as if it's the last game of my life."

Carry on like the last few incumbents of the left back slot and we'll all be wishing it is the last game of your life, mate :-)

btw, I've worked out what is creepy about Joe Ledley. He looks like *that* picture of Anthony Hutton from Big Brother.

Seriously, that photo's great. It's almost like he KNOWS that jersey is cursed.

Oh, and for fellow lazy predictors:

Due to technical problems with our log-in system for The Predictor, the game is unavailable this week.

Some players had entered scores before the system locked everyone out. So that no-one has an unfair advantage, no points will be awarded this week. We are extremely sorry to interrupt your enjoyment of the game. Please come back next week when the new log-in system will be in place

Saves me having to try and muster some enthusiasm for Celtic's defensive capabilities and zero strikers :-)

Hamilton 1-0 up on Caley after 40 seconds, Dougie Imrie scoring before Caley even touched the ball :-O

Some players had entered scores before the system locked everyone out. So that no-one has an unfair advantage, no points will be awarded this week.

Fuckers, I got mine on on Monday. What about the unfair advantage everyone else gets when I forget to put mine on?

Accies on a charge. Fastest goal of the season.

Probably been watching that fastest-spl-goal-ever Anthony Stokes clip some clowns are wheeling out on the internet to justify his imminent arrival as Celtic's saviour :-(

You're not stoked for his arrival then?

I'm of the opinion he'll score lots of goals for us and that that is a good thing.

Still pondering over the wisdom of this whole Fortune thing. Lennon's moaning about guys not throwing their bodies on the line for the team then selecting a guy who obviously won't do so as he's leaving in the morning and doesn't want e.g. a broken leg to prevent the move.

Not exactly, no. I don't get the MAF thing either. Bit of an eff-you to Darryl Murphy an' all, if Lenny'll let a guy with his feet out the door on in front of a guy he actually paid cash money for. I was all for MAF starting, he was part of the in-form team from the weekend, after all, but when he's rolling up in the Midlands 12 hours later, then not so sure it was a good idea.

Morten Rasmussen's just scored again for Mainz, btw.

lol 1-0 to Super Saintee Johnstones at Ipox :-)

celticrumours Samaras looking likely to be playing in Spain as of Wednesday.
7 minutes ago via web

Is "no strikers" the Glasgow Celtic way?

Ah well, Sasa Papac ruins the dream, for now. 1-1.

Stokes is a striker iirc

Stokes and Daryl murphy as our only available frontmen come Wednesday if we're daft enough to part with a reported 4 million for the former by then? God give me strength.

1 million is a more likely figure

We haven't signed him yet (haven't sold Sami either, tbf). Could do with some more back-up as well as hoofing everyone out the door.

Anthony Stokes, aged 18:

"Anthony didn't sleep the night after learning that Celtic had an offer accepted [last week]. We thought it was a done deal," the player's father and advisor, John, said on Sunday. "He loves Celtic and was prepared to accept less money to play for them. When he gets up in the morning he listens to Celtic songs and by the time he goes to bed at night he's watched Celtic videos." Yet there was only so much less money he was willing to accept. It is understood Celtic offered a deal worth " only" £8,000 a week.

None of your crawling-over-broken-glass nonsense here, eh?

xposts

Ryan Conroy, who was on our bench on Thursday, has just scored for Queen of the South. Squad depth, hurrah!

No Juarez or Kayal. Murphy up front. Long day expected, should have gone to the boozer.

Bench:
Zaluska Kayal Juarez McCourt Ki Towell Hooiveld

^I'd fancy that lot vs our starting XI dunno wtf Lennie's thinking with this selection.

arrgh, was just about to switch on. Have massive fear (and no booze in the house).

Do not need to see semi-naked Motherwell players, kthanxbye

"It's as simple as that"

GET ONE NEW PHRASE BURLEY YOU COCK

Maloney misses (another) sitter :(

Oh, OK, I'll stop giving Darryl Murphy a hard time based on reputation (and Lennon's reluctance to play him), that was a decent move and effort.

wtf with the Craig Brown love-in, "one of Scotland's most prominent septuagenarians* now that Sean Connery is an octogenarian" also "lololol you prankster, you punched a man in the face lololol".

* alongside Davie Weir, obv

Majstorovic is struggling to mark Motherwell + Glenn Loovens. Good luck big man.

wtf with the Craig Brown love-in, "one of Scotland's most prominent septuagenarians* now that Sean Connery is an octogenarian" also "lololol you prankster, you punched a man in the face lololol".

Just read in the Herald about Craig Brown punching someone last night. Way to go, old man!

― ailsa, Friday, 27 August 2010

FITE

I'm not supposed to be an impartial broadcaster. But whatever.

Do not want manager interviews mid-match. Would like to see them being all "lolol you punched someone" if Johann does it to their trackside reporter.

Hey, commentators, can you maybe mention 2005 some more?

Saunders off, straight red, penalty. Who takes them now Sami's off?

Oh, OK, Murphy. Nice one (bit stoppy-starty, cheers for momentary fear, mate...)

dear ESPN, there is a game on. I would like to watch it. Cheers.

God, the size of the gap that opened up round Paddy there...let's exploit that man advantage, aye?

Three points and a clean sheet. I'll take that after Thursday, ta.

Have just flicked over to Sky Sports 4 to see our new saviour of the forward line (what forward line?) against St Mirren.

Thought Murphy and Maloney were decent (and Paddy when he got one) but were playing like they had a player in the middle to knock their hard worked efforts into the net for them, except there wasn't one. Several chances went a-begging. An actual centre-forward would be ace. Would have preferred one while we were still in Europe, but since we aren't and all we have to win is the SPL, Stokes'll do me for now (if he's not bought with big visible Scott-Brown-esque pricetag to hang him with if it doesn't work out). Would have settled for Sandaza or Cadamarteri, both available on frees from Dundee Utd at the moment - cheaper and also able to score in the SPL, since I'm guessing Hooper is going to be the main guy when he comes back.

God, Sky are in on this interviewing managers during the game thing as well. Stop it!

"I'm not supposed to be an impartial broadcaster. But whatever.

― ailsa, Sunday, 29 August 2010 12:23 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink"

Is this the exact opposite of "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"? If you agree with them and think it's funny (like me, I mean come on: 70 year-old manager punching random foreign dignitary is up there with Jim McLean whacking random journo) why can they not say it out loud?

That said, I'm fairly sure Neil Lennon punching an oppo's director of football wouldn't have brought the same reaction.

Precisely because they wouldn't think it was funny if it was Neil Lennon, it was annoying me same as the elevation of Craig Brown to national treasure status was annoying me. Because trivial things annoy me when I'm hungover on a Sunday morning. Also I am occasionally paranoid, and frequently hypocritical, and like to use this thread as an outlet for my random illogical thoughts, which vary according to all manner of circumstance.

That's all.

oh look I posted here last night o_O

Think I better keep away from the "My recent posts" button.

Stokes reportedly having a medical and set to complete his switch to Celtic for something more than the £800k we initially offered, presumably not much above £1m.

I'm coming round to the view of the 'Sami Out' campaigners.

Oh well, hi dere Anthony Stokes. Bucketloads of goals, plz.

I like Sami, but would like him better if he would turn it on more often. Also if someone could work out what to do with him and where to play him. "Somewhere that isn't Celtic" possibly the answer, which is a shame, because on his game, he's brilliant. Which is, regrettably, about twice a season (and usually only against Kilmarnock).

In a rare moment of OTMness (even a broken clock etc) Craig Burley described Sami as being all "smoke and mirrors" - coming deep and looking involved and keen and full of effort etc but not actually achieving anything at the business end of the pitch. The more I think about it the more I agree, even if Sami has chipped in a couple of goals and assists recently.

Burley's still a dick though, it's as simple as that.

Hearts vs Hibernian just listed as a world famous football derby on Only Connect. 'Old Firm' didn't make the cut.

no one told me Only Connect was back!!!!

Me neither!

I keep thinking these are my posts in here, onimo u berk, and I'm like wait was I drunk last night and didn't know it and then posted lots in the spl thread?

I keep thinking it's you as well, tbh.

haven't ~properly~ cared abt football since 97/98 I don't think

Yeah, not on this thread :-)

Players' Player of the Year Jackie McNamara Celtic
Young Player of the Year Gary Naysmith Heart of Midlothian

sounds about right

ha I don't even care abt the EPL/serie A/la liga/etc, still follow but just barely and not w/any intent

sorry :)

(it was this Only Connect on BBC4 - repeat of last year's semi-final http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00lskhg )

New series starts on next Monday.

ha np, only ever watched one only connect (the first one) and was so bamboozled I never watched another

is it actually worth watching? do like a good quiz show obv (eggheads/uni challi)

Goody good. Something to warm the brains up before watching University Challenge.

xpost, is annoyingly smart-arsed. Eggheads is *not* a good quiz show.

that's my level :'''(

I like the format of Eggheads but frequently want to inflict violence on the smug bastards.

Only Connect is quite hard & also v satisfying when you do well.

Uni challenge is mostly too hard though I got four in a row correct tonight, on Dr Who themes :)

I watch University Challenge and Only Connect with a friend and we are so sad that we compete and keep scores. I'm three in a row on University Challenge! But I don't think I've ever won Only Connect due to her crazy linguistic skills meaning when it comes to the final round she gets every answer immediately. :'(

aye but what's ur eggheads head-to-head