agüero vs rooney

ha you fuckin clown what whimsy takes you?

talking points or stfu

rooney is powerful

Rooney runs all over the pitch. I've seen him clear off the line and still be part of a counter.

Right now Aguerro is golden.

career g/g 0.44 vs 0.45

'Mark' would be an improvement on any/all of Rooney's nicknames

sort of wanted to poll silva vs rooney for is always polemic to compare differents

instead u get this

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_is_Wayne_Rooney_so_fat

rooney has great aggression and desire, you can see it in this next clip

if you post CCTV footage from a brothel i'm hitting the SB

look at how hard he's hit that, trevor! He just gives you that every time, he wallops it. Incredible stuff.

"wayne rooney" "deceptively fast"
About 692 results (0.10 seconds)

from this it will have been gleaned that wayne rooney is white

look at rooney tracking back here, brian. He gives away the foul, but he's everywhere, driving his teammates on. Fantastic stuff.

"sergio aguero" "deceptively fast"
About 50 results (0.14 seconds)

Talking point: if Agüero had been dropped into the Utd team as a starter before the CL final, with minimal acclimation time, would the result have been any different? Would the match at least have played out differently?

no, tbf

the worst thing about wayne rooney is the way guy mowbray says his name with markedly different intonation for each syllable, raising the disturbing possibility that he does the same with his own name

No, the worst thing about Wayne Rooney is that he is Wayne Rooney. Voting Aguero.

yes well why does he cause such excitement for the execrable mowbray? because he is wayne rooney

QFD

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

what the hell

always one troll

You are probably all bald and jealous

I missed this poll so chalk another vote up to... Agüero, of course. He wins every category except hard working powerful Englishness.

Still think Rooney's much better than his detractors would have you believe, but not as good as the absolute shite that pours out of every English commentator's mouth about him.

Agüero also wins the scandalous relatives category

yeah agree with all of that

yep.

I don't think rooney's any better than his detractors would have you believe, it's just that his detractors are trying to provide a balance to the hyperbole from everywhere else. He's a form-dependent unpositionable powerhouse with flashes of brilliance and flashes of awfulness.

ppl hate him cuz he is white

they see him and they think no, i'm not having that, where's that foreign lad what plays for city

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akjGyPK92b4&feature=related

rooney's whiteness i think i don't let affect my judgement, i don't say i don't know it's there cos it's always there obviously, but i try to make a clear judgement on him as if he weren't white, iykwim?

indeed, in one sense, i suppose one can almost be thankful for his unfortunate pallor, in that one could scarce distinguish between him and the non-white pele otherwise

I voted SA but Capello is currently fronting imo b/c what nakhchivan said - WR still better 300% than any other cunt capello is likely to field - is otm.

look forward to 433 with in-form bent tho, maybe even a two with defoe if he continues fine

naah - try Young at CF w/ le numéro 10 de Lille behind him, Albrighton on the left.

young on left works
zamora middle, go with form agbonlahor right

Or, again on form, a two with defoe and bent with young lm

Sturridge motherfuckers.

sturridge/wellbeck is a good and true point

Have now caught up on most recent round of intl matches and Spain, Italy, France all looked v impressive, assume Germany was too, think England should just take an U21 squad for the experience.

u-27, maybe

No other England forward is anywhere near as good as Rooney, but that one person who voted for him over Aguero is the most digusting savage in the world.

good concise summation imo

rooney's whiteness i think i don't let affect my judgement, i don't say i don't know it's there cos it's always there obviously, but i try to make a clear judgement on him as if he weren't white, iykwim?

― at-zing-two-boards (darraghmac), Monday, 10 October 2011 02:06 (17 hours ago)

^^^^^^

Sorry but I have no idea what that even means.

- You signal he's white
- You don't want that to affect your judgement
- Yet you are aware that he is white
- But you try to make a clear judgement "as if he weren't white"?

???

deems is basically saying that when we discuss rooney's popular soubriquet 'the white pele', we refer largely to the pele element -- how does rooney relate to pele, his mythos, his technical ability, how does rooney improve upon his prototype?

however, what is missed is exactly the meaning of rooney's whiteness -- why he is white? did he become white? does his whiteness derive from or merely perpetuate the tabloid rooccult?

ya

but without making it 'a thing' y'know

I don't think the tabloids made him white.

I'll back off now, I'm afraid all this is too meta for me.

the rooniversity of ilx: ROO 101 -- introduction to roonology

just enough pigmentation to perform

06/07 through 10/11, Rooney was ___ in league goals and ___ in assists.

I guessed 2nd and 6th before looking it up, wrong on both.

He's well up there in terms of assists. 2nd behind Fabregas maybe?

1st in league goals.

Fabregas, Lampard, maybe Gerrard ahead of him in assists
(with usual query re how assists are defined & counted)

No wait Cronaldo would have been banging them in for half of that. I'll go for 2nd and 4th.

pretty sure darren bent is the answer to every question about epl scoring recorde

for english players

I dunno, tho- purely on stats rooney looks pretty good. Thirty tapins from ronaldo runs/deflections doesn't hurt, being the focal point of united's attack doesn't hurt, y'know? Keane/berbatov got 20+ each one season without a midfield behind them, just sayin

clearly you haven't been paying attention to Utd's midfield in recent years

young may be up there for assists but it wouldn't surprise me to see rooney one and one tbh, these are the effects of unwarranted pandering

You have to wonder what Rooney has on Ferguson though, when he could get the same return from Bent or Zamora

utd's midfield? I'd be the biggest critic of it on ilx tbh, but if you had to describe it you could use 'inexorable' or, indeed 'unstoppable like a sneeze rather than a boulder'

maybe hes just a nice person to have around carrington, offsetting the negative juju impact of darron gibson loitering about stomping pigeons and being surly

It was 1st and 3rd actually - Fabregas and Young ahead in assists.

rooney is powerful

― at-zing-two-boards (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 22:48 (1 week ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a powerful man, surely

take cron assists to rooney and rooney assists to cron out of those tallies i'd say he'd struggle fatly to make top ten in either

lol @ 'same' return from d bent, if a man u team including cron was bent wholly on getting our benty to the top of the asian market then he'd get fifty a season and he wouldn't need to fuck any magic grannies to do it

I don't think you "get" Ronaldo

I'm not sure I do either, but I'd like to.

Rooney is 1st for goals and 1st for assists, is my guess.

oooo get u

Assuming we're talking Prem only I've got Rooney > Drogba > Bent > Lampard > Ronaldo

Hah, I didn't see Boxall's post. Only semi-misplaced faith.

rooney- pandered to, top team throughout, also hateful, disloyal & fat
Drogba- injured, shunted around, noble
Bent- unplayed, unloved, underrated, unlucky. Midtable teams supplying him
Lampard- a fucking midfielder, somewhat pandered to, constant in top team, somewhat hateful, corpulent
Ronaldo- hasn't been around for a while, constant in top four before that, somewhat hateful, not fat, a fucking midfielder, somewhat pandered to?

real life lols at drogba being categorized as noble.

i would seriously pay money for a dmac rothman's guide to prem footballers presented in such a fashion tbh.
Bent- unplayed, unloved, underrated, unlucky amazing.

Rooney 75
Bent, Drogba 73
Tevez 69
Berbatov 68
Ronaldo, Torres 66
Lampard 65

obv Ronaldo had the best goals/season. Torres prob would've been top as well if he'd come over a season earlier.

not totally sure it applies to Drogba but injured, shunted around, noble could absolutely describe some if not most of my fave all-time players

man i'm bored/unproductive/unloved at work today

i would seriously pay money for a dmac rothman's guide to prem footballers presented in such a fashion tbh.

― pandemic, Wednesday, 12 October 2011 17:55 (45 minutes ago)

can't decide if a 4.4bn budget adjustment in december will leave me with less time for this stuff or leave me fulltime at this stuff, otherwise i'd be tempted tbph

I think the lack of consistent 15-20 goal scorers is interesting ... Rooney's 75 goals would put him behind Messi, Villa, Forlan and Kanoute in Spain, Di Natale and Totti in Italy, Gomez in the Bundesliga. Injuries probably a factor - maybe Prem managers also more likely to bench apparently out-of-form strikers?

Aguero is only one goal behind Rooney despite being 18 in 2006.

Cristiano scored the exact same number of goals 09-11 in Spain as 06-09 in England.

My office is very slow today.

playing for a much better attacking team in spain tbf

Also englishes defenders allowed kick fuck out of more skillful players innit

yakubu scored 69 goals in five seasons to 2k8

black rooney

fat white yak

http://www.mfc.co.uk/javaImages/3/d0/0,,1~2805763,00.jpg

rip

A list of all 100/5 scorers would be interesting. Hasselbaink had 104 from '97 to '02 despite changing clubs twice.

yeah 100/5 club poll imo

There can't be very many. Loads of guys like Viduka or Heskey get there through longevity. Shearer, Andy Cole, Henry are my guesses. Fowler might've got there in four.

rvn in three and a week

Overestimated Fowler - 94 in 5.

not exhaustive but

Shearer 92-97 137
C Ronaldo 06-11 132
Henry 01-06 130
Messi 06-11 112
Villa 05-10 108
Eto'o 04-09 107
Hasselbaink 97-02 104
Forlan 04-09 102

Van Nistelrooy's injury came in the very middle of all those 20+ seasons so he missed out.

makaay 99-04

Les Ferdinand! 92-97. Wasn't expecting that one.

Kluivert 98-03 110

oh shit, is it league only? or all appearances?

league only, Kluivert OUT

also no second-tier leagues, I guess Makaay's OK despite one of those seasons at Bayern

Luca Toni (04-09) in, Batistuta, Rivaldo and Ronaldo out: not the best way to assess goalscorers.

Yeah maybe use no of games?

Di Natale needs twelve this season to do it (he already has four). I can't find Signori's career stats but he was capocannoniere in 93, 94 and 96; he must have done it.

http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giuseppe_Signori#Presenze_e_reti_nei_club

and let's not forget Jardel doing it in three (97-00)

Boško Balaban 
1995–2000 	Rijeka 	97 	(31)

RIP

"gayne rooney"
About 40 results (0.21 seconds)

The Wayne Rooneys of this world

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ugszgd7BdUM

there are four people called wayne rooney in the uk

hard to say but you'd guess one or two are less than say eight years old? bless

dunno if we can de-index this or w/e but i heard that balotelli racially abused twp for the fraction of a second when they occupied the same dimension of ability yesterday

what does google know?

http://i51.tinypic.com/t9a2hk.jpg

I like that Google chose Matt DC's post to summarise this thread

http://i54.tinypic.com/156zjew.jpg

(we're on page 2 of thousands of agüero vs rooney discussions)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Q6MkmonoaSw

^that (awful) ad led me to this awful ad, which I'd completely forgotten

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB_9H4kSxws

Messi was on the ground after being fouled by José Callejón when Pepe appeared to deliberately tread on the left hand of the world player of the year. The referee booked Callejón but took no action against Pepe, who was on a yellow card.

The Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney, who had been following the match on television, tweeted: "Pepe. What an idiot."

That drew a response from the retired former Real Madrid player Guti, who wrote: "I laugh at Rooney. There are plenty of saints – in heaven. If he wants to be a saint, he should set an example. Making mistakes is human."

twp....otm

guti also otm

Why does Agüero have a ü in his name, is it some sort of Motörhead thang?

ü is not Spanish?

U-diaeresis

Several languages use diaeresis over the letter U to show that the letter is pronounced in its regular way, without dropping out, building diphthongs with neighbours etc.

In Spanish it is used to distinguish between "gue"/"güe" and "gui"/"güi": antigüedad (antiquity), pingüino (penguin). This is also the case for the Nicaraguan demonym, Nicaragüense. Similarly in Catalan language,

"gue~güe" are [ɡe]~[ɡwe],
"gui~güi" are [ɡi]~[ɡwi],
"que~qüe" [ke]~[kwe],
"qui~qüi" [ki]~[kwi],

as in aigües, pingüins, qüestió, adeqüi. Also ü is used to mark that vowel pairs that normally would form a diphthong must be pronounced as separate syllables, examples: Raül, diürn.

That's me learned

guti also otm

― (govtname)mac (darraghmac), Thursday, January 19, 2012 3:33 PM (8 minutes ago)

obv

Guti really should have played in the Prem at some point. I know it was mooted

bolton and blackburn were in for him, and us a few years before that

otm

think we know the real answer to this now eh?

lol

i think both of these players are kind of disappointing given they were the best teenage players (messi excepted) ive seen

twp we know abt but aguero has developed as a predatory forward without quite becoming the allround player suggested by his destruction of barcelona in 2008

hes still pretty great tho and he could get there

twp is still prone to patchy form but now he at least converts chances during times when his general play is lacking

I wonder how Aguero'd look in a tactically looser side, where he could be the fulcrum of the attack. Like Spurs this season, in the role VDV tries to play or a little higher, with Adebayor and Bale pulling defenders wide. I expect he could be individually great like that.

If he were something other than Argentine he might get to try it at int'l level. But at least he and Messi seem to combine well.

think we know the real answer to this now eh?

― Number None, Sunday, 11 March 2012 18:45 (1 month ago) Bookmark

twp vs ska

I was thinking about this thread at 4:45 yesterday as it looked like TWP's goal would secure the title, then again 5 minutes later :)

otm xxp

twp, tbfttfl, put in a great shift yesterday

to be fair to the fucker like
?

he missed about 4 tap ins if he had put them away (and then others magic another 3 goals) maybe their team could have won on goal difference.

xp fat lad

Pig Foetus had a surprisingly good season but not voting for Aguero here would be such disgusting savagery.

He took that goal extraordinarily well yesterday, it kind of got lost in amongst everything.

his mediocrities are lauded as brilliance, so tbh it's fair

yr thoughts

it's been a week for the twp debate.

there are those will point to his status as the main/consistent goal threat for the champions/runners up for the past how long, but i mean the alternative view could ask whether that omnipresence as focal point is not typical ferguson fuckyousery and that omnipresence explains the stats rather more than his performance explains the omnipresence. So it is, and has been, since maybe 2005ish.

That he has declined dreadfully in technical derringdo and competence is, we hope, not in question, nor that he has perhaps consciously (word loosely utilised tbh) reined in street striker wayne in order to bulk up the stats already referred to. benefit of doubt accrues to twp here, but it feels like the subjugation of a leviathan talent in the service of an unworthy cause, darth vader or w/e, rooney's comfort eating, opponent mangling and contract wrangles are akin to the fallen anakin's mindchoking of deathstar planning officials, a manifestation of protest from a trapped and frustrated former prodigy freak beast genius.

Moot as fuck, of course. Nobody would pay what utd would have to charge.

In the meantime, berbatov slinks off towards fulham and the sinister bearhug of a jol previously wronged. What smooth beast slouches toward futhlaham to be born? Strange days.

Anyway, aguero.

of course this is how you announce your return

anyway you're right, no one's going to pay the required price at the moment so there's probably going to be at least another couple of seasons of under performance

welcome back though!

i wasnt holdin that in i promise u, it is a topic atm

My thoughts on spurs upheaval are not sufficient collected is all

And fuck contributin to the fat thread

Tho there's obv an overlap there now i say it

we need to get him fatter, that's the only option now

or perhaps a swap deal with Carroll?

carroll in same boat in that no feasible deal can be worked out btwn what any suitor would bid vs politically acceptable to club hierarchy

doesn't help that his manager has basically repeatedly been saying he's shit

weeellll, tbf, not just his manager

15m back to newkie really is the best solution there tbh

so twp hasnt played every game cos he's scored and assisted loads, he's scored and assisted loads cos he's played every game

you never know how much you miss someone until etc

street striker stuff bang otm tho

inner joe coles in a mourinho reality the story of pro football if not life itself

'stats don't lie' is a fair position to take, a safe position

'i've been watchin the cunt ten years and he's been shite most of that'

is the other, more daring stance

fyi i voted politically in this poll

fyi i voted politically in this poll

^ technical glitch just gave me twp's new sobriquet, 'the two roonies'

wayne rooney's gash

otm x 3

i like how twp tried to use twitter to pish-posh the rumours about him leaving, even though this time the paper talk was of ferguson getting shot of HIM rather than the other way round

don't really see it happening unless rvp properly bosses the #9, kagawa the #10 and ferguson wants to stay with a 4-3-3 & prefers welbeck in reserve/waiting

i'm sure he'd love to get shot of twp after the contract blackmail but he's too valuable atm

Dreaming longingly of the day that Fernandes and Hughes turn up at Carrington in matching sheepskin coats with big smiles and a shoulder-bag of used notes on the backseat. If only. I would love to see the kind of transfer policy those guys would pursue if they were a few rungs higher on the spending-power / prestige ladder.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2196938/Alex-Ferguson-warns-Wayne-Rooney-faces-career-long-battle-weight.html

'As a striker I need to work hard all the time. I need to be sharp, which means my fitness has to be right to play well. If it isn't, it shows,' he said in an extract of his new book 'Wayne Rooney: My decade in the Premier League' in the Mirror, who are serialising his latest autobiography.

'It would probably be different if I were a full-back. I could hide a bit, make fewer runs into the opposition half and get away with it.'

oh god, he's played right into your hands

"Early July: The first day back at pre-season training.

I’m like most blokes, I put on a few pounds after a holiday.

Even if I don’t train for a week, I put on two or three, but when I get back to Carrington for the first day of work, I’m in for a shock.

The scales in the club gym tell me I’ve put on a few more pounds than expected – seven. Seven!

Then I remember – I drank a few bevvies while I was away."

Extracted from My Decade in the Premier League by Wayne Rooney with a foreword by Sir Alex Ferguson. To be published by HarperSport on 13th Sept @ £20 ©Wayne Rooney 2012.

i do particularly like the Guardian sub-headlines

• Manchester United striker blames 'summer holiday bevvies'
• 'I struggle to walk for first half an hour the day after games'

which make it sound like he may be drunk the morning after games.

"When I’m out injured I know I can’t train or help the lads prepare for the next match so, typically, I get grumpy, a bit like someone would when they have to give up smoking or coffee, I’d imagine."

I'd imagine

he's not quitting his fags so he wouldn't know.

Have the guardian quoted the entire serialisation in their piece btw?

good material, good material

said his barber approvingly

Some people are lucky. I have had nights out with the jockey Mick Kinane, we've had three bottles of wine and he's still the same weight

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2012/9/5/1346844874745/Manchester-Uniteds-Wayne--001.jpg

Didn't realise someone had turned Wayne into an evil enchanted gnome during the summer.

"I'm a fidgety patient. I get snappy. I go quiet. I don't get fed up with the treatment or the physios and club doctors, I just want to get out there and play in the practice games like everyone else. The worst thing is that the rehab process messes around with my head. I feel left out at the club. I miss the banter and the crack in the dressing-room. As I'm not fit enough to play, I don't even get to spend the night in the team hotel with the rest of the lads before the next game. I have to stay at home, then drive into the training ground the following morning for some more boring recovery work.

The word has an unusual history; the English crack was borrowed into Irish as craic in the mid-20th century and the Irish spelling was then reborrowed into English.[1] Under either spelling, the term has great cultural currency and significance in Ireland.

ok then

yeah, no Irish person will believe that though

yeah irish hip hop basically depends on the punning capacity of the gaelic spelling

great techniq

um (continues)

ue from Rooney on the run there

why bump this of all the hundred or so twp threads

I had it bookmarked and couldn't be arsed searching and hadn't noticed the International friendlies thread had been bumped.

fair enough

i was just concerned you were trying to reopen this question, which is no more a question than champagne or turps

"That he has declined dreadfully in technical derringdo and competence is, we hope, not in question, nor that he has perhaps consciously (word loosely utilised tbh) reined in street striker wayne in order to bulk up the stats already referred to. benefit of doubt accrues to twp here, but it feels like the subjugation of a leviathan talent in the service of an unworthy cause, darth vader or w/e, rooney's comfort eating, opponent mangling and contract wrangles are akin to the fallen anakin's mindchoking of deathstar planning officials, a manifestation of protest from a trapped and frustrated former prodigy freak beast genius."

Don't remember reading this before, but fuck me - this is a hell of a paragraph.

i had planned a bump before Aguero scored on the weekend

that's what kolo toure said

No doubting the boy's effectiveness in the utd team, no doubting the team's effectiveness and the boy's role in that.

idk why the opportunity cost seems so high. it's haunting.

2:21 am. darragh's eyes flick open. beside him his missus lies still fast asleep. he'd had the dream again. he reaches for the smartphone.

Searingly accurate tbh

deems why the fuck are you expending psychic energy on mangy tato boy

Surplus

convinced irish ppl (real irish ppl) have a deep spiritual investment in twp as some sort of culchie noble savage wrested from his natural home in a gaeltacht hovel and thrust into a limelight that sears his skin and corrupts his soul

why do we all despise him then?

in him we see ourselves?

cast into some procrustean defensive winger archetype for a thousand years until the original sin is expiated and he is allowed to become the maradona we all know him to be

He's got a lumpen bestiality that screams formorian alright

Rooney has held the one ring of english footballing hope for too long, his lungs foam with a yellow cud and his eyes peer out wizenedly from cronish (no not that way) sockets. Gerrard and j cole (oddly) have dwindled in thrall and wilshere is not long for this darkling world.

bump

still wondering

TWP imploding is a big deal. To explain why would require a bit of a dive into internal far-right drama that you probably are better off not knowing, but I'll try to summarize.

— Emily G, Cville. (@EmilyGorcenski) March 14, 2018

you discern the prompt for the bump correctly