Fake breasts: Classic or dud?

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There you go. Discuss.

― Ally, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dud. There's something to be said for body parts that OBEY the laws of gravity.

― David Raposa, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If they were made of chrome or titanium, I would totally get them because then you could deflect bullets with them, headbutt people with them, etc.

Otherwise, dud.

― Nicole, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think they are more or less a dud...they aren't very healthy either, I mean Jordan looks terrible...

― james e l, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They're a complete dud, have any of you felt them? E.W.W. Gross. It's like you stuck balls in your chest, very attractive.

Still, better than the girls who wear those silicone gel things that look like implants but they go OUTSIDE your body - I mean, what the hell? How do you explain that? You're going at it with this guy, take off your bra, AND YOUR BOOBS FALL OFF. Talk about total mood killer.

If fake breasts came with guns a la the Fem Bots, I'd pay any amount of money to get them, though.

― Ally, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Breasts with guns in them are ALWAYS good. Breasts with silicon/saline in them are almost always silly-looking.

On the other hand, implants which are of a normal size (ie, C cup or smaller) can look really nice. It's when you get to the D range that you start going, "Um, okay. Nothing that large should ride that high." The problem is that a lot of the women who show off their implants have the ones that you could fit Rhode Island into. So, DUD.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, I say if you're gonna get them get them so huge that at least you can make some money off them. I'm talking humungous. Gigantic. I'm talkin' using letters at the far end of the alphabet multiple times to describe cup size.

Not that this in any way appeals to me, no siree.

― Steven James, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fake breasts are like, so 80's. Not that I wouldnt be agianst feeling them either. As for Jordan, she suffers from a severe case of Lolaitis. She just got that collegen thingie in her lips as well. She got a glass of wine thrown in her face from some woman who was chatting up her ex-boyfriend. She's nuttier than monkey shit.

― Michael, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Didnt one of Toni Braxton's boob implants explode on a plane cos it was flying at a certain altitude. I mean, how embarrasing is that?

― , Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what was the lou reed line again? something like

"she gets cancer from silicone in her tit and i'm supposed to feel sorry? health tip #1 from lou reed: don't put silicone in your fucking tit."

i in no way endorse this sentiment.

― sundar subramanian, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'm guessing it's not, but it would be so cool if that line were actually from one of his songs.

― ethan, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This question is so two weeks ago. Get with it, a way better thread would be Shaving Your Ass: Classic or Dud? Cameron Diaz is so cool.

― Otis Wheeler, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

We have so already played out the shaving thing, like a month ago, discussing my coworkers and their boyfriends. Hello?

― Ally, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, but shaving of the ass hadn't even occurred to me until Diaz mentioned it. Brilliant, completely brilliant.

― Otis Wheeler, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't even want to know what that means, but I TOLD you about all this like three weeks ago. Were you not listening? You specifically said you wanted to DESTROY a friend of mine over it.

― Ally, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't remember that at all. I just think that Natalie saying she shaves her ass on the MTV Awards is totally hot.

― Otis Wheeler, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Uh, how is that hot? SHE'S A CHICK WHO NEEDS TO SHAVE HER ASS, hello.

― Ally, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ethan: well it sort of is. it's from the monologue in the middle of the extended version of "walk on the wild side" on take no prisoners.

― sundar subramanian, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Who said anything about her needing to shave her ass? I just figured she was into gratuitous, unnecessary hair removal. You should be down with that, don't you shave your arms?

― Otis Wheeler, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I shave everything, because I like playing with razors. That's neither here nor there, I don't shave my ass cos I realize there's no hair there and it wouldn't be fun to cut my butt, unlike arms. Arms are fun to scratch up. Unfortunately your, ahem, lower regions besides your ass aren't, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Being a chick totally blows, I wish I was a guy so I could just never shower or shave and wear the same clothes for 4 days straight.

― Ally, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You just said you wished you could be Ramon, what is wrong with you?

― Otis Wheeler, Friday, 8 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I do wish I could be Ramon. People inexplicably "lend"/give him money, he does whatever he feels like, and he doesn't even have to shave, hello. That'd be the most awesome life ever. Fuck this job shit. I wish my job title was "Ramon".

― Ally, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

really i do not understand the whole tit thing.
they seem cumbersome and absurd .
i much before things that engorge

― anthony, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"cumbersome and absurd" is possibly the best description I've ever heard for breasts!

― Dan Perry, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fake/silicon breasts? MY A$$ l@m3rz!!!

F0r th3 w3althy s0rt 0v b0y, wh0 !s s0m3what lack!ng !n 31337 s0c!al !nteraction sk!llz, what c0uld be b3tt3r than a c0mpl3t3 fak3 g!rlfr!3nd?????

Belt down a stiff one before U click on that link, and do not view @ work!!!!!

check the price...(spits milk out of nose)

x0x0

― /<-r/-\/>-31337, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cumbersome? HONESTLY!!! Yes! I would like to *reduce* my swollen and annoying mammary glands right now. I haven't been able to sleep on my stomch in... well, ages. Do you think I could donate the excess tissue to some anorexic playboy bunny who would like a softer D-cup?

― masonic boom, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"i much before things that engorge":
This should be the title for something...

― mark s, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lolo Ferrari!

― tarden, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Did anyone see the programme about her after she died? It was quite sad, I thought.

― DG, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They severely impede a decent golf swing. Big boobs in general that is - though I'd imagine having balooney and hard fake ones would make it close to impossible. like *WHOMP* "Dude, the recoil on these things is a BITCH!"

― Kim, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When I was at school — admittedly this was a very long time ago — I got into a screaming match with someone who claimed that being a woman made it *physically* impossibly for you to play the guitar well. (By well, he meant Wishbone Ash...) (That's how long ago it was...)

― mark s, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wonder if having a penis makes it "physically impossible" to be a great pole dancer. Certain moves would seem to be just too tricky...

― Kim, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But that's crap, I mean, unless we're all in agreement that the definition of playing a guitar "well" = the unique tone created by whacking (pun!) the strings with an erection (and I do mean *with* an erection), and even then, modern science has provided women with absolutely realistic replicas if we so chose to use them, so I can't even fathom how that arguement might have gone. No clue who/what Wishbone Ash is by the way.

― Kim, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was quite a strange C4 documentary series, not so long ago, part gameshow, part semi-irresponsible social experiment: a group of "just-ordinary" people — as advised by costume experts, make-up artists and psychologists — kitted out to "pass" as the opposite sex in various situations (applying for a job, pulling in a club etc). I didn't see much of it, but I seem to recall the winner's winning "experiment" was to have to pole- dance, in a proper stripclub, in front of a hooting (but not in on the game) crowd of his own sex. It involved a lot of strapping down, certainly. He was no good, but that was more stage-fright and untrained leg muscles than intrusive build.

― mark s, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wishbone Ash! Only one of my mum's favourite bands! Never heard anything by them though. They played the Walthamstow Standard a while back.

― DG, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"I can't even fathom how that argument might have gone":
Well, we were both like 15, so I doubt that even my side of it was exactly Socratic. My guess:
Him: "It's physically impossible [blah blah blah]
Me: "That's just silly"
Him; [starts yelling insults, throwing tantrums]
As I recall *he* was a total plank... (Wishbone Ash were a vaguely bluesy Prog- Lite group big in the 70s, "famous" for their twin guitar attack...)

― mark s, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, but it was about the UNHELPFUL PRESENCE of BREASTS, rather than the DISASTROUS ABSENCE of a PENIS...

Tho of course it was in those days considered essential to screw up your features in quasi-orgasmic grimace at climactic moments during the, er, "solo", so maybe both aspects came into play somehow, and he just never got round to elaborating the penis aspect. It was an all-boys school.

― mark s, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My mommy was a pretty mean bluesy guitar player in her day (minus the facial grimaces though) and she had at least a C-cup going on.

― Kim, Saturday, 9 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mmmm. Twin guitar attacks.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Sunday, 10 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You know, someday someone will answer my prayers, and make a combination bra/guitar which has great action, a warm tone *and* amazing underwire support. I mean, how convenient would that be? No more uncomfortably trying to hitch your boobs into the indent when you sit down to play your acoustic guitar. Fantastic!

― masonic boom, Sunday, 10 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I reckon you shouldn't play acoustic at all. You should sit down like you're going to, shout out, "Argh, my boobs won't fit!" then smash the thing. That'd be very rock.

― Ally, Monday, 11 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, normally, acoustic guitars are total bollocks which encourage hippie noodling and the eating of wheatgerm. But acoustic *12-string* guitars, often run through a delay pedal, are the very backbone of shoegazing and psychedelia. However, I had one of those horrible Ovations with the rounded back, which just did not sit comfortably on your lap even if you *don't* have tits.

― masonic boom, Monday, 11 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

See, I could never play guitar for those reasons, my dad's acoustic was huge and tit-smashing. Plus, blisters on my fingers, ugh. I'd much rather play something unblistering, like the drums. Or bongos even, cos that takes less talent.

― Ally, Monday, 11 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ovations are terrible terrible guitars. Proof: Melissa Etheridge plays nothing but.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 11 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

definite dud. i have found it quite interesting that many here have answered in terms of whether or not they are attractive. once again it comes down to what breast implants do for MEN, instead of what they do for the WOMEN who get them. no-one has discussed the political reasons why breast implants suck. breast implants suck because women should not feel obligated to alter their bodies to fit some male-defined norm of female beauty, and implants are obviously a tool here.

― lady die, Monday, 11 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lady Die you are surely on crack. 1: Serious answers above re is-this-attractive = abt two, anyway, if that. 2: Like all gurly things gurlies do, alleged pretext What the Guys Fink, total purpose is to please or piss off other gurlies. As in, next time you take you new cool 'do into work, the boys will not at all notice until the chix all ooh! (or mutter darkly...) QED

― mark s, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's extraordinarily disingenuous to scold men for saying, "I don't like the way breast implants look" when the number one reason I've heard for getting breast implants is, "I want men to look at me." I do not buy the statement that men are solely to blame for societal problems with the female image of perfection.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't really buy it either. Of the two people I know who have had cosmetic surgery, both have done so because they have screwed up self- esteem -- no matter what other people told them (including men), they had it in their head that they needed surgery. Society's obsession with beauty and perfection has a lot more to do with it than simply wanting to please men.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nicole and I in happy synchronicity...

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have no interest in pleasing men at all, I hate them. And I was going to spend my bonus this year on fake boobs. Until I realized I also hated fake boobs and surgery, and that I sorely needed to, like, you know, rent hotel rooms for no reason and buy shoes with the money.

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You could have bought the fake boobs but, instead of having the surgery, walked around the streets of NYC with them falling out of the bottom of your shirt and tape-recorded the screams of disgust/horror/outrage. (Liberal doses of ketchup would probably have to accompany them to maintain authenticity.)

Alternately, you could have just thrown them at people who came to your apartment. How great would that be? "Yeah, I'm only in town for the weekend. I'll catch you later; gotta go over to Ally's for a boob fight."

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dude, then Otis and Ramon would never leave my apartment.

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The more I learn about Otis and Ramon, the more they remind me of my best friends from high school. Hell, Ramon kind of looks like one of my best friends from high school, only less ferret-y.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think everybody had friends like that in high school.

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, somewhere one of them is saying, "Oh yeah, I had a friend almost exactly like that, only he was black. And a screaming turbo- nerd. Sexier than Denzel Washington, too."

Okay, maybe not that exactly. I don't think any of my high school friends would call me a screaming turbo-nerd.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

a throbbing hunk of turbo nerd, maybe?

― Nicole, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think if you're gonna be a turbo-nerd, you might as well be screaming. But what you should really be is a turbo-negro.

Sorry.

Dan, your psychotic fake boobs & ketchup idea makes me think that meeting you is definitely a good idea.

― Otis Wheeler, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

CLEARLY I'm already a turbo-negro!

Otis, I've wanted to meet you since hearing the story about driving several hours specifically to go naked hot-tubbing. I thought, "Oh, YES. A man whose priorities mirror mine!"

I have horrible (possibly a melodramatic use of the word "horrible") news, BTW; I now have a wedding I absolutely MUST go to on August 11, so Joei and I can't come to NYC. I'm trying to see if we can come down some time in July, but it's not looking good. Speculation about Ned and I being the same person will continue unabated.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I forgot this:

Nicole, the phrase "screaming hunk of turbo nerd" is now firmly ingrained in my personal lexicon.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why don't you try coming in October? Screw Ned, it should be all about meeeeee.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Plus, Tom will probably try to pick you up with those Crazy Town lyrics.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, Dan it's a good thing I'm going to BE IN BOSTON this weekend, meaning Otis and Ramon will be there too since they're my groupies.

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

October might work. It could turn into Joei's birthday trip.

"Happy birthday, honey! I'm taking you to New York so that I can drink heavily with people you've never spoken to." Hmm, better think of a different spin...

Ally, are you gonna be at the Boston Ritz? Because that would be HELL YEAH great.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do I stay in any hotel besides the Boston Ritz? HELL NO.

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have to see pictures of this one -- fake breasts and ketchup galore, I imagine.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hang on, are we talking comedy latex breasts here or silicone 'enhanced' ones?

― DG, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Are you implying, DG, that it would make a difference to your answer?

― Tom, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They make comedy breasts???

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think they have those looks-like-chicken-meat plastic breasts you can strap on @ your local comedy doodad store. Or the saggy-Grandma- meets-gravity breasts.

Just buying those chicken-cutlet inserts, though, would work just fine, I think.

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was just wondering how you're supposed to throw silicone-implant- containing breasts around. Surely they're not detachable? (This seems to me to be a real Pinefox moment)

― DG, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DG, you can apparently get inserts that go in the bra but outside the breast if you see what I mean. So no gore need be necessary.

I've just realised I have someone who went to your school snoozing behind me. Should I tell him you're here or not?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Who is it?

― DG, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Geoff Sheridan, friend of Matt Powell. Geoff's 26ish and Matt's about 23, if that's any help.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nope, never heard of them. They both would have been 3 or 6 years above me, and I didn't know anyone that far up the school. Ask them about Mr 'Bod' Harrison though, and see how they react.

― DG, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

RE: fake boobs and women's self-esteem issues. YAY! good to see you guys discussing this issue. i do agree that i may have put my view across somewhat simplistically. it is true that men are not solely to blame for (many) women's body-image problems. Women can be just as judgmental as men. however, i would like to ask everyone why society seems more obsessed with the way women look than the way men look. (do not read this as: society does not care how men look, as there is more and more pressure on men to look a particular way.) afterall, it is women who predominantly get boob jobs and eating disorders. i believe that one reason for this is the unrealistic images circulating in the mainstream media. and who owns the media? mostly white heterosexual men. (again, this is put a bit simplistically, but i've forgotten how to have a proper intellectual discussion as i haven't been reading much theory lately.)what do you people think about this?

― lady die, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, I'm firmly in the camp that thinks the media isn't as huge an influence as people think...I don't know, all the men I know fancy women that don't look anything like, say, Jennifer Aniston, so I don't know who is controlling the media anymore. TV shows have the most awful looking women, gaunt and flat with these ridiculously out of the cuff fake boobs going, they always look miserably unhappy too. I don't know what it is, it's almost like sexuality has become a cartoon of itself because does anyone really fancy the people we're told to find attractive?

I'm sorry if this is random rambling, but I have had a little to drink tonight. It's just something that has weighed heavily upon my mind lately, the societal expectations of men and women. I have gotten very upset lately over these things. It's a long convoluted story, but the thing I think about Hollywood actresses is similar to what I have slowly come to realize I am putting myself through. You suddenly become the pretty girl out of the blue for no apparent reason, be it thru fame or money or actually becoming attractive, who cares? It's all the same. But you suddenly become it and it's not good enough, you feel the pressure to be MORE than that and suddenly you start dieting when you have absolutely no need to, getting your hair done every month when it's unnecessary, wearing more makeup than normal, buying stupid clothes all the live long day (corsets, wtf am I doing?). That's why they all look gaunt and unhappy and have bad plastic surgery - that pressure to be better than attractive. I can't quite put it into words really, it's just there, you realize you are what you want to be but that's not going to ever make you happy, you want to have something to aspire to so suddenly you have to be more than that.

I don't know if it has anything to do with the media or anything other than just good old fashioned horrible societal values - I'm sure women in the 1800s or whenever did the same thing, prior to the advent of the information superhighway - they laced themselves into REAL corsets, not these stupid things I keep buying, they powdered their faces bright white, whatever.

I mean I personally don't need breast implants and I always act all "Ew, god, gross, BREAST IMPLANTS, they're HARD" but I secretly want them and keep planning, "THIS year is the one I'll get them with my christmas bonus". Because then I'd have something more than anyone else.

It's a lack of control, and that IS the fault of male dominant society. Women are not in control. To be in control, you must have sex or exude sex or both. Then you have what you want. That's a destructive idea to have in your head, and one I've had since I was like 5. Looking like a model will get you further faster than looking like, say, Kathy Bates, because that's what men want to hire.

I mean, just a personal example, I was told point blank one night by our former HR director at work that the physical attractiveness of female employees was a deciding factor in hiring at my company. It's disenheartening and suddenly I was really doing myself up for work - I mean, I would rather show up a half hour late than show up without makeup.

So yeah, this is all rambling. I don't believe it's the media that does it, though it's part of it. It's the patriarchy in general and it DOES exist, though it's fading. I mean, as you said, men do have these problems in increasing abundance - I mean, I guess an intriguing counter thing is that this has been a phenomenon for ages in the gay community (or the gay community as I know it, which is my personal circle and their friends), and why? BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO IMPRESS OTHER MEN. *shrugs* That's how I see it.

Yeah, this is rambling. Sorry. I'd be more lucid if it was noon and I hadn't drank anything and I wasn't dead tired and hot :)

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm going to sound a bit idealistic & naive in this response, but reading the sort of stuff that Ally just typed really gets my Righteous Liberal Rhetoric bubbling.

As much as society is to blame for setting these standards, there comes a point where an individual (getting fed up with this BS) steels themselves and shuns those norms for what is right for the individual. Yes, to succeed in some fashion in the Real World, compromise is inherent. But the individual draws the lines they personally don't cross - where you put your lines delineates the amount of BS you're willing to put up with.

Wasting the energy to rage against this hypocrisy when you're inadvertently buying into it is pointless. Accept the compromise, or fight against it.

Yeah. THAT'S real easy, isn't it?

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's liberal rhetoric?

Yes, of course the individual makes the choice to do whatever they want to do. The point is that an individual's choice might contradict the societal "ideal" of what one is and one isn't supposed to do, and that will hinder you in furthering yourself in the world. What's difficult to understand about that? What's bullshit about that? It's not bullshit, it's just fact of life.

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Can't believe anyone even idly entertains the thought after seeing the genuinely shocking MTV doc about breast implants. Best thing MTV's ever done. Graphic operating table detail. Testimonial from girl who came close to dying/suffering severe mental damage from silicone leakage. Best thing besides the 100 Most Outrageous MTV Moments show of course.

Was a revelation when a high school friend told me she shaved her legs because she liked it. Suddenly the world wasn't "us" (authentic, proud) vs. "them" (fake, shamed) - it was all us, and all much more complicated than yr Tracer had imagined. Obviously my high school friend, if raised from birth on desert island by pack of wolves, would not have developed this particular "like". But the fact remains: it made her feel good about herself and the way she looked. How could I argue? Fuck it. Real Politik.

I think anorexia is different. Its consequences fall in a similar area - physical appearance - but froom what I can tell anorexia is a very deep and complicated syndrome that does not lie on a continuum with eyebrow plucking. If women's beauty standards were the same as men's, anorexics would find other ways to exhibit their symptoms.

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dan-- if you think that the only reason that women get implants is because they want men to look at them, then don't you feel that men commenting on whether they are attractive or not perpetuates the whole lookist cycle?

Ally-- i must reiterate that i never said that the media was the only problem, but one reason for it. i do agree that you can't just shut off from the rest of society, you sometimes DO have to make compromises. hells bells i still wear a bra cos i couldn't bear the thought of people seeing my breasts submitting to the laws of gravity. its not that i hate my breasts or anything, i love them. but everyone makes these compromises, if you didn't you'd be a complete recluse/outider/reject.

― lady die, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

dave-- i've misinterpretted what you've said. but in any case, do you truly feel its impossible to "rage against" something while buying into it at the same time? isn't that dichotomising things a bit? it may not set the best example to live by, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you're a hypocrite. just a realist.

― lady die, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, I do agree. Hence the word "solely" in my post. The entire thing is a vicious cycle perpetuated by both men and women.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, I shave because I like it too, lotion doesn't stick over hair! I mean, yeah, if I was personally raised by a pack of wolves, I'd probably wish I had more hair to fit in with my wolf family, but that's niggling really. If I hated shaving, I wouldn't do it. If I don't feel like shaving my legs on any given night, I won't do it. *shrugs* Who the hell sees my legs bare anyways?

Anorexia is....well. It has nothing to do with like or dislike or aspirations really, what I said rather poorly about control and needing to be more than what you are is what it's about. If it was about male or female beauty standards, then I think you'd stop once you got to the point where you fit in with the standard - I mean look at girls like Kate Moss (who doesn't even look remotely anorexic) or, better example, Calista Flockheart - they get blasted for being skinny, that it's "gross" and "unattractive" because they're past the point of the societal standard. Ummm...I'm not explaining this well at all, sorry.

It is about societal beauty standards in that dieting is a socially accepted thing, even in people who aren't really particularly heavy. How many thin girls do you know who just want to lose five pounds for an event? It's common, so if you need something to control in your life, something to prove you can do it better than everyone else, then it's an easy thing to "pick" (as if mental disorders are something you pick, yes, I realize) because no one raises an eyebrow until you've gone way too far with it. Eating disorders aren't about the beauty myth at all. They just take the weakness of the beauty myth and use it for completely different, much more tragic purposes than just wanting to look like a model.

As for breast implants...I saw that documentary. I don't particularly care though. Don't get silicone implants. Surgery of any type is going to be a graphic thing, I don't know what anyone was expecting when they watched the show :)

― Ally, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is it a compromise to do something because you WANT to do it? Ladydie - you're wearing a bra because YOU want to, not because the rest of the world says you should (if I understand you correctly). If your decision happens to fall in line with the societal norm (norm != morally right, by the way), then how is that a compromise? (Unless you want to start talking about learned behaviors and atavistic traits & such tricky subjects. That's a whole different enchilada.)

And I understand what you & Ally were saying about being a realist. It's true, I know. I just get chafed sometimes by all this garbage, and I lash out in half-sensical rant form. (And thank you, Ally, for catching my sloppy use of the word "liberal". I shouldn't post to public forums past a certain hour without relying on my trusted dictionary.)

I do believe, however, that societal norms can favorably erode through insistence, perseverance and time (the Great Equalizer). Well, maybe just erode, for good & bad. And I still don't necessarily believe that bucking these imposed restraints (you must wear this, say this, etc.) precludes a lack of success, though it does make things more difficult, given what arena you're currently pursuing success in. (Obvious Statement #45 from yours truly.)

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, yes, if my job description was, say, "pop star" instead of "luxury real estate finance", I could probably buck the societal norms and get ahead far more easily ;)

It's not as if I don't still do what I want to do. I mean, I wear the clothes I wear because I like them - I rarely wear suits to work because I can't find any I like, which is a bit of something that the corporate office isn't fond of, but hey. The bottom line is though, if I showed up to work makeup free, haggard haired, wearing jeans, I'd get in serious trouble. Now, mind you, I will point out once again that I won't even go get the newspaper on Sunday (like I wake up early enough to do that, jesus) without being done up, because I like it, so I don't know if this is considered a compromise or my decision or both - I just know that I am blatantly aware that this is what I'm expected to do, and if there came a day where I just didn't feel like it, I'd still have to do it because looks ARE a deciding factor in my industry. Image is everything when you're trying to sell $8m apartments to rich foreign idiots (I hope they aren't reading this).

It's just been a tiresome subject on my mind lately, really. You CAN change societal norms, but the easiest way to do that is to play the game until you're high up enough to change it. For women, that means playing into your "assets", which to a lot of employers means physical. And it's worth noting that even in more "outrageous" fields you don't see that many "ugly" (in quotes because we're talking societal here, not actually my opinion or necessarily yours) women in the leaderboard position.

I mean, it's just a fact. I'm going through several personal problems recently that just seem to revolve around the fact that I am the girl in the middle and therefore I'm somehow at fault for events that have occurred (long story, there's no need for me to get into it, just trust me on this one), so I've been a little overaware of this lately. It's usually not something I mind - I like playing the game, because I'm trying to beat guys at their own game.

― Ally, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

David: the problem is that when you look at the societal norms which *have* changed in the last 40 years - relaxed attitudes to language/sex/even violence to an extent - a lot of that is driven by a demographic and economic swing towards youth, (youth and media being in a feedback loop). Young people being 'prettier' than older ones in general this means that norms based on looks are likely to be much much harder to shift.

In other words, it is cool to say 'fuck' because somebody made it cool to say 'fuck': being cool to be chubby or not shave your legs is not likely to become catalysed in the same way. Except perhaps on the 'underground' or 'alternative' scenes but I doubt it - all the people I know with the most crippling self-image problems and self- doubts (m'self included) are more linked to those subcultures than they are to the mainstream.

― Tom, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ah, Tom. Once again, hitting the nail square on the head with efficiency & aplomb.

It wouldn't be a stretch to extend this idea to other cliques - doesn't every demographic have its "guidelines"? Middle aged people, older people, people from different cultures, people from different geographic locales. Of course, we focus on the guideposts set up for the younger generation because we're (sort of?) part of it.

Ah, and then there are the contradictory signals (from TV, from peers, from parents, from the wind, from exhaust fumes):

"You're looking kind of chubby - you should eat better." "You're wasting away! Eat something!" "You should go to school & learn something useful." "Follow your dreams." "Live life while you can!" "Be responsible!"

Ah, this world. If you don't know yourself well enough, you're going to get bounced around a lot. (Obvious Statement #623 AKA A Whole Lot Of Nothing.)

I'm going to get off my soapbox now.

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

[...] you're going to get bounced around a lot.

Thus the fake boob conversation comes full circle.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They make comedy breasts???

Ally, a comedy fake breast can be found in the Lady Marmalade video. It's on the wall behind Pink's bed, and is first visible just after she sings "magnolia wine".

(Alright, so it isn't. But it sure looks like one)

― Graham, Wednesday, 4 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...

So, I'm going to get them done.

― Ally, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't believe you, glitter gurl.

― DG, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why not?

― Ally, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

these fake breasts keep bouncing up again

― Geoff, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's an important topic.

― Ally, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Comedy fake breasts = cover of "Devo Hardcore" album (on devo, not girl)

― 1 1 2 3 5, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cos Ally, I think you're trying to shock us and divert attention away from the fact you are GLITTER GURL WHO STILL THINKS NICKY WIRE IS FIT AS PROVEN BY SCIENCE.

― DG, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But I never thought Nicky Wire was fit! This is slander.

― Ally, Wednesday, 15 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally's breasts = quite respectably sized. I see no need for enhancement.

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, when you met me they were enhanced by big giant rhinestones spelling STARLET on bright red shirt, so it's all deceptive. But thank you. I don't have the money to do it right now anyhow, what with my unerring need to constantly buy new jeans that look exactly like the last pair I bought.

― Ally, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Pair of jeans?

― Nick, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's the way we say it in America, you know. I don't know why, it doesn't make sense. It's only one thing, but it's a "pair of jeans". Like, what, "jeans" by itself implies that you only bought a leg or something?

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY BREAST IMPLANTS.

― Ally, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ally - i want bigger breasts, what do i do?

― Geoff, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Smoke marijuana. LOTS of marijuana.

― David Raposa, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ha ha Ally. I love the idea of you (no the sentence doesn't end there) thinking 'pair of jeans' was a peculiarly American phrase. I was just making a cheap joke re: breasts/jeans clarification.

― Nick, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Having, through my dayjob, been sent several copies of Penthouse and a distinct lack of interest in breasts, I decided to look at them nonobjectively. Goodness, those things are huge--like cantaloupes dangling off of a woman's chest. A friend's friend's job is to airbrush breast surgery scars off photos for Playboy. (I swear I work in a respectable place BTW).

― matthew, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love the idea of you (no the sentence doesn't end there)

Now it does, loverboy.

I love the idea of a respectable place getting free issues of porn mags.

― Ally, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two months pass...

I love the idea of a respectable place getting free issues of porn mags.

Stop by my workplace. You should see the 'protected collection.'

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The bigger, the better
The tighter the sweater,
Us boys like 'em better!

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

me and sundar talking about lou reed is the best part of this thread.

― ethan, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nah, the bit in the title where it says ...breasts: Classic... is the best bit.

― toraneko, Monday, 22 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

no, the lou reed part is tied for best with:

I don't shave my ass cos I realize there's no hair there and it wouldn't be fun to cut my butt, unlike arms.

and the link to the 6,000 dollar girlie dolls

― ron (ron), Sunday, 5 January 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the torsos found in the bins camden was identified by the serial numbers on the bum and boob implants. So classic if you with to be identified after you've been chopped up.

― Ed (dali), Sunday, 5 January 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the thread where Nick said he loved the idea of me and Sterling admitted to ogling my tits! Classic!

I'm still going to get them done.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 6 January 2003 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a little bit disturbed by Ed's new favourite factoid.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 6 January 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, don't! If you do your ass won't seem so special anymore!

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 6 January 2003 02:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't you think the main reason for the increasing popularity of breast implants is the advertising industry? I mean, advertising culture revolves around making people feel like they're inferior in order to get them to buy things. Not breast implants, but the perceived need to be a particular shape is a spill-over effect of wanting to be like the girls on the jean/car/toilet paper poster.

Mass visual culture has existed for less than a hundred years, and I think humans are inexperienced at using it, but eventually they'll determine rules that allow them to use it for happiness.

This isn't to say that Ally's wrong about it being easier to find employment if you're attractive - that's absolutely correct. But that's because it's almost 'polite' to look a certain way because we haven't invented better rules of politeness yet.

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 6 January 2003 08:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Advertisers, they have no manners! ?

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 6 January 2003 08:54 (twenty-two years ago)

When the rest of your body starts to sag and whither and grow wrinkly and od, won't your fake tits look unnatural, all perky and bouncy and stuff, or do they wrinkle and whither too ?

Ally, if u do this, can u include it in the next group of xXx pics 4 me ? just asking

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 6 January 2003 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...

This is still the best thread ever, the shaving the ass!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 04:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm guessing it's not, but it would be so cool if that line were actually from one of his songs.

it's from the live version of walk on the wild side on take no prisoners ('78)

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

DUD

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Al you keep reviving threadz that involve you somehow...

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Specifically, this one... You've done it twice...

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Has anyone had fake breasts installed since the thread began? Can they give us an update?

Also, women who've been through pregnancy - how has your experience of considerably bigger chestage changed your feelings about breasts?

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

MEN Have your breasts grown considerably since this thread started? How's that working out for you?

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 10:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Do love handles, spare tyres and/or jowls count as breasts? If so, yes and depressingly in answer to your questions.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

major dud

― dleone (dleone), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Fake = dud. Big floppy jugs of any sort = dud.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Al you keep reviving threadz that involve you somehow...
-- jm (jimmythemo...), May 21st, 2003. (jtm) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Specifically, this one... You've done it twice...

Fake breasts != involve me! I revive this thread cos I like the posts about Lou Reed and Cameron Diaz, it's the greatest thread ever.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally... (sitting her down and taking her hand)... you don't need to do this. You're beautiful just as you are. Any man that can't see that is a fool.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to feel some, just once...

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

When did this become serious hour? My chest grew a size by itself for no reason about two months ago, I don't need them anymore. But if I got them, I'd get DDD cup.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

They feel kinda like those old Nerf soccer balls when they've dried out after splashing into a puddle. Too firm.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

the ol lady has 36 dd, i don't need no fakie titties.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

When did this become serious hour?

Why can't anyone tell when I'm kidding?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

For the same reason you can't, apparently. Posts that state you're going to put DDD implants in your tits=generally non-serious.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I reiterate: Big floppy jugs of any sort = dud.

However, I'm willing to give nipple implants a chance.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

On your mark.... Get set... RUN FOR THE HILLS!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm already there.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

In my part of the world they're called pancake titties, Kenan

My chest grew a size by itself for no reason about two months ago

Issat right?

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, that's what I told everyone at work after my three week hospitalization for "exhaustion" at least.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha!

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

brilliant.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Fake jubblies don't bounce. They feel funny in yr hand. Like groping a volleyball. Ew.

Sometimes, when lactating women are gettin' it on, their breasteses will squirt milk across the room. This is like one of the coolest things evah; this happening while getting it on = makes you feel like a REAL man.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

That never happened to me.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

preceding sentence may or may not contain an untruth

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

It's more brilliant than you think, or perhaps I just know many stupid people?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd go for the latter, really. I mean, look at us.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally 0, JtM 1.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

If that's the lifetime score so far we really need to get to work.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

worst come on ever?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I've used much worse.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

the "get to work" bit i like tho

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh my god, will you two GET A ROOM???!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

second worst come on ever?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

You think I'm going in there with you? You got another thin(g/k) coming.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yanc3y started it.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

someone's in the kitchen with dinah!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Yanc3y, can you please stop ruining me and JtM's really lame discussion of my fake implants? Jesus, some people.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Now then, where were we?

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we were getting to work on scoring.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Correct. Shall we just say I'm up 1-0 for now?

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

If that's the euphemism you want to use, be my guest.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

You have something better?

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not really quite sure what we're euphemising at this point, so no. It'd probably involve a terrible joke anyway.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

: (

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

That sad face is the most heartbreaking thing I've seen today!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I was having a good time... and... now... this...

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Would it help if I called you Mr. Anderson?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

As in Louie?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

INFIDELS!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Only if I get to call you whenever I want!!

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally 0 - JtM 2

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Dayumn. You wouldn't call me anyway. You don't even show up at FAPs anymore. Typical man! Love 'em and leave 'em.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh get a closet you two

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Woman, I don't show up at FAPs because I want you all to myself -- with none of THOSE people around!

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, get a subway car you two

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Pff, it's not like you invite me out anywhere, shit. Excuses, excuses.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Boo, I'm up on the West Side all the time these days... Sometimes I think you love your job more than you love me. Don't front.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't see you hittin' me when you come up to the West Side! Trust me, there are few things that I don't love more than my job--you, however, I love more than soccer! WTFE!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

So where does soccer rate in a field that also contains your job?

In fact, rate the following, from 1 - 10, 1 being the most loved thingie.

1 JtM
2 Yr Job
3 Soccer
4 Marmosets
5 Mesh John Deere Hats
6 Carl McCall
7 Fake Boobs
8 Real Boobs
9 The 1969 NY Mets
10 Hitler

Begin.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahem.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

1. the 1969 NY Mets
2. JtM
3. Soccer
4. Marmosets
5. Fake Boobs
6. Carl McCall
7. Mesh John Deere Hats
8. Real Boobs
9. Hitler
10. My job

Sorry, you should've picked like the 1973 Mets or something, then you'd totally win.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If I had one your world would have been Officially Rocked, baby. But at the same time, I was beaten in a field of my own design. Curses.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Come on, wouldn't you pick the 1969 Mets? They're the Amazins for christ's sake!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I would have picked the 1986 Mets over me no problem.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

For now, anyway...

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Where do bears fit into the list, Ally?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I don't have the pleasure often enough of the JtM Experience, obviously, otherwise perhaps you'd win over the Mets. Really, it's your own fault for avoiding me.

Bears were not part of the original question! Everyone knows that bears improve everything!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Me? Avoid you? Surely you have it all backwards.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Lies, damned lies, and statistics. That's all propaganda. It's all down to that horrible night where Dave Popshots kept interjecting "SWEET!" into all conversations, isn't it?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Now, now. Don't bring Dave Popshots into this. Unless he is your secret lover, in which case I must "write him out" as the scriptwriters like to say...

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I blame Ramon? Surely there is someone to blame besides myself.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Sure, why not. But that means you need to choo-choo-choose the new thread direction.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I choose to discuss when are you taking me out to dinner.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

how about on soccer night . . . OVER MY DEAD BODY

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo, hold up, it definitely wouldn't be on soccer night, that'd be hella lame.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

phew.

Ok, I think JtM should take Ally to dinner at Daniel.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes! And he should bring his business card and $20 to impress the maitre d'.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

You should go to the Rocking Horse Cafe.

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I now regret leaving this thread. Others have chosen my path. I leave the hows and wheres to you, my ILX matchmakers.

Find me a find, etc.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

If only my roommate had not challenged me to a best of 3 sports video game series. He beat me in baseball, but I beat him in basketball and soccer. Juventus (w) v. Celtic. (l)

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:21 (twenty-two years ago)

uncle buck liked them.

― kephm, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I was playing sports video games. SIGH.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

scratch uncle buck, john candy was jack chester in Summer Rental

― kephm, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

the only sports video game one i play is GOLDEN TEE

― kephm, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

John Madden kicks that game's ass.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

but you cant play golden tee at a bar!!

― kephm, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

YES YOU CAN!! i am a big liar!
Ace is the place. guys i work with talk about jmadden football as if it is cocaine

― kephm, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

What do you think it comes with?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

oh i loved her but she had fake breasts so i had to leave her
oh i hated her but she had big fake breats so i had to kiss her
i need to spend somemore time in california

don't these girls usually go out with big burly dumb jock types? so they cancel it out-right? they weer made for eachother, very nice.

big dumb jock to thread?

― kephm, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Our football game was stolen from us.

We used to play Lee Travino's Fighting Golf for NES

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

++Lee Travino's Fighting Golf for NES

as i recall, that game wasn't much fun. no bludgeonings with the 8iron.

― kephm, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I don{t think fake breasts are that great but IU do not necessarily consider them a deal killer when it comes to fucking a chick.

― robert canon, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

WHEW!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Well said Robert.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

is robert canon anything like Bob Log?

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Meh.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 01:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Daniel is a fantastic room where you spend large sums of money to eat not especially inspired food.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 22 May 2003 03:15 (twenty-two years ago)

In the East 60s? I had my graduation dinner there. Nice desserts.

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 22 May 2003 03:26 (twenty-two years ago)

guys i work with talk about jmadden football as if it is cocaine

At once place I worked we had monthly tournaments. 10-12 guys pitch in $50, get a couple of kegs and spend one entire day just playing Madden.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 22 May 2003 03:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Large sums of money are right out.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 03:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, we're gonna go to Gray's Papaya, people.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry to all those expecting dashing, exotic and romantic New Yorker escapades.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

STFU, you know after we do that, we're going to go firebomb Jersey.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:19 (twenty-two years ago)

That would be a dangerous, daring and adventureous New Yorker escapade.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

...then we all lez up?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

You can lez up. I'll watch until I'm invited to join.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

...and we're back on the NYC track! Yes!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

And we can have an interlude on the train like Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint in North By Northwest

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll wear a trenchcoat, with only a push up bra, panties and thigh highs underneath. That's what the readers want.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:29 (twenty-two years ago)

And I will be waiting for you at a subway kiosk with the key to our ~~Motel~~ Hotel room...

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Shh, don't tell none of these scrubs, but I gots mad hotel connections.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Then we shall have an afternoon of power sausages and fruit beverages followed by a sacking of a minor American State after which we will return, by train, to our illicit den of forbidden desire which we have procured through your... connections?

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

This just sounds like every FAP now, we need to spice it up, let's invite Momus.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Are my sausages and I not spicy enough for you?

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I was just kidding. But I think we should sack Connecticut as well.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Anything the lady in panties and heels desires.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh right, I forgot I was wearing that. Dude, it's gonna be so easy to take these states in that case!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Traveling light makes things easier.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Get the feeling that we hijacked the hell out of this thread?

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Hijacking is such an overused word...

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Especially in this Post-9-11 world.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Can a person really hijack a thread they started?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

On June 8th, 2001 I started this thread. Now I'm taking it back

--Ally Bono (mlescaut@...), May 22nd, 2003.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

How come no one's talking about breasts in here anymore??

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Because I'm too busy laughing at the "Ally Bono" post. *does Jesus Christ Pose, puts on sunglasses, flashes breasts, etc*

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

More to the point, how come no one noticed that WAAAAAAY up thread, Nicole said she wanted to use metal breasts to head-butt someone? How do you do that? Would the breasts be attached to your forehead?

"Don't piss me off, I'll mess you up with my noggin rack!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Brother, if you have to ask...

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe she's 7 feet tall.

― NA. (Nick A.), Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

john madden needs breast reduction

― kephm, Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

So does Meatloaf.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

And John Goodman.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Ooh, and Tom Arnold.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

ugh, much bio-hazards!

― ke[hm, Thursday, 22 May 2003 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

It's so salty and warm...

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 22 May 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that shirt felt?

.
.
.
.
.

Would you like it to be?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i think i just vomited

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Sterling reveals himself to be my mom!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

asian women love velour. my dad told me this.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

My dad told me that Dan Marino is made out of playdoh.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

for serious? that rox! no wonder isotoners fit him so well!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo, listen, my dad also told me he's 673 years old! Fo' serious.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i met dan marino in a bar once. he was sitting at a table with: lawrence taylor, bruce smith and bruce hornsby. talk about a celeb sighting!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo, Bruce Smith! That shit is fat, I fucking love Bruce Smith. I wish Jim Kelly was there though. That'd be hella someting.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll wear a trenchcoat, with only a push up bra, panties and thigh highs underneath. That's what the readers want.

Note to Ally: Push-up bras don't come in DDD-cup. Does that affect your interest in implants any?

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce is my hometown boi! so's the other bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce, actually.

jim kelly was probably too busy wiping up his kid's drool.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

ouch

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 May 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, that ain't cool, Yancemo.

Implants don't really need push ups, do they?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

You might as well put the damned things on your shoulders.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 22 May 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, i feel guilty for mocking his sick kid. oh well. maybe if he could WIN A FUCKING SUPER BOWL i wouldn't have to.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

ouch

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yanc3y went all Howard Stern on us there.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not buying Electric 6 tickets for you anymore, asshole.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

When do I get to give away fake tits?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

So Ally, have fun at the Electric Six show, even though I refuse to call them anything but the Wildbunch. Corey the drummer is my favorite one and that Tyler kid who sings was always walking around my neighborhood when I lived in Detroit like he had to be somewhere urgently... It was pretty funny. We used to say, "I wonder where he really has to be?" I have other funny stories about him too. Like ALL Detroit garage rockers mahahahaha... ha.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Believe me, Yancemo, you already have with that Jim Kelly comment.

Dude, Aaron, that whole Wildbunch/Electric Six thing drives me crazy too, particularly since it makes it EXTRA SPECIAL HARD to download their music.

― Ally (AKA #12) (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

No. 12 it is!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally did I tell you the E6 gossip Aaron told me? You'll love it!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah! Tell her (not online though).

You can blame Massive Attack for the name change. How funny is that?? I watched the video for "Gay Bar" today. That song sure has gone thru a lot of changes since I first heard it 5 years ago.

I can't fucking wait to move out of this town! (and have stories about NYC bands instead! maaahhhhahahahd,hfam,wf;jfefeeeeeeee)

But I'm just gonna hang out at the Motor City Bar anyway. Heh.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Johnny Knoxville and Heather Graham were hanging out at Welcome to the Johnson's the other night. No real reason to note that here.

I think I told her, but if not I'll email her about it.

I can't wait for you to move here either, doodman!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

You didn't fucking tell me anything, you dick. I don't want to hear it anyway, your bizarre Jim Kelly hatred has turned me off justifying yr love FOREVAH.

My roommate fell asleep in Motor City Bar once, and she wasn't even drinking.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Yanc3y-- It's gonna happen very soon.... My lease is up on August 24. I'll prolly be there by the end of the month.

Maybe there needs to be a Birthday FAP at the Motor City Bar on September 6? Oh wait... x-post. No falling asleep. Oh, and the bartenders were bitches. F that.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo I'm in at Motor City, let's go. Bartenders are bitches everywhere, you fool.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Motor City Bar fucking blows. I have no idea why people go there. I just took you there Aaron cuz I thought you wuz homesick.

And I fucking LIKE Jim Kelly! (even tho Thurman Thomas was the key to those teams)

I'll tell you the story, Ally. It's a doozy!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Thurman Thomas ain't SHIT next to Bruce Smith and Jim Kelly and perhaps even Andre Reed, you dick.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait. We should go somewhere NOT Detroit for my birthday... do they have a Big Apple Bar?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Andre Reed was fucking rad. As was Don Beebe! Donnie B! But the Thurmanator was such a powerhouse both running and receiving. And he took the pressure off Jimmy Boi cuz that draw play ALWAYS worked so fucking well. So Kelly got to sit back there behind a not-great offensive line with tons of time to Run and Shoot (themselves in the foot come Super Bowl time).

And I love Bruce Smith too! I never liked the Bills though. I was a Bears fan.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

You're only saying you're a fan of bears to get back on my good side, you Jim Kelly-slandering ASSHOLE. Fuck you, and a pox on your future children.

We could go to Rise and make fun of New Jersey, that's pretty NYC, Aaron.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Awesome! Man, I can't to move.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I LURV the Bears. Walter Payton is my all-time favorite athlete. And NO ONE rocked the headband like my boi Jim McMahon!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

What's Rise? A Bridge & Tunnel bar?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Jim McMahon is a fucking asswipe. What is even up with his look? God, get out of the '80s, Yanc3y. ATHLETES HAVE EXISTED SINCE THE SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE!

Rise is in BPC, it's gots mad martinis yo.

― Ally #12 FUCK YOU JIM KELLY ROXOR (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

This is where I say... I get to go home now! I expect more fake breasts talk when I return to this thread!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Jim McMahon is a fucking asswipe

Ally = OTM

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course he's an asswipe! That's the charm!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Say one thing bad about Walter tho and I will string yr ovaries up on a telephone pole.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

& Dan Hampton, now there's a man!

Coolest modern-day footballer: Terrell Owens

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Like I'd let you near my ovaries. Anyway, I dig Payton.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not what you said before... (please, make me stop!)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I ain't see him got a movie made after him like Brian's Song though, shit.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

No, but he's got Lucas!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck that, fucko.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I heart this thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 May 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyways, yo, for Aaron, fake tits:

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/images/irishdrunks.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 22 May 2003 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

You all forgot the most popular kind of fake tit among preteens: Baseballs, with Nerf balls running a close second. Or was it only the people I hung out with that were always shoving them under their shirts and showing them off?

My life has been so weird so far.

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Friday, 23 May 2003 03:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Max cleavage you got there, hunnybunny.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

it is touching to read the early posts on this thread. everyone is so earnest.

― amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 23 May 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I not earnest?

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay! I can't wait for my bithday party!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 23 May 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

IT'LL INVOLVE BOOBS, I PROMISE! VOTE FOR ME!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

YAAAAY!!! BOOBS!!!!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 23 May 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG, we have totally become AOL, haven't we?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

SHOW ME YUR BOOBS!!!

Wait, what did you just ask, Ally?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 23 May 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

What what? Ally cuts herself? Man that is just not cool. You should stop that - it's nothing to tell people about.

As for fake breasts - Jenny McCarthy's look good. She's probably an exception. I don't think they look good personally.

― Calz (Calz), Friday, 23 May 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

If you build it, he will come. Bad touch, Calum! Bad touch!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

and No means No.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't understand what he meant by his comment about me! I only cut myself to put in the fake tits, yo

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

We should start a thread welcoming Ca11um to ILE

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's not and say we did.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Why not just rename the place Calz' Super Fantastic Titty Talk? I think that would be certain to up the level ov conversation on all those other boring threadz.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Boo, you're happy he's here coz now you have another dude to oogle your boobies. Admit it.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo we don't need the other threads, we gots this one! I ain't needing MORE dudes to ogle my boobies, that's being the entire point of me for fuck's sake. It's getting to be too time consuming!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Popularity: Your blessing. Your curse.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh the tragedy! I am much like Kirsten Dunst in Bring It On!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Or like Spider-Man, which also featured Kirsten Dunst, only you are without the powers of web slinging and tenacious grip.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Ok, in what way am I similar to Spiderman then?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

You have a blessing and a curse.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the most tenuous comparison to Spiderman that I have ever seen. You could've at least mentioned my resemblance to Tobey Maguire.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Toby has boobs?

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Big 'uns.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 23 May 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Besides that. We're like twins.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

im not a fan of boobs. the ass is where its at.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 23 May 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally got that too. She has something for everyone.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

ALly, in that photo, whats up with the matrix-y looking dots on your blonde friends arm?

― kephm, Friday, 23 May 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

We're replicants.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally also looks like she's attracted the attentions of a Predator. An Oirish Predator.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 23 May 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

He doesn't look too dangerous, I mean just look at him.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

replicants, as i thought. then isn't everything already fake?

― kephm, Friday, 23 May 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

STOP REVEALING TRADE SECRETS!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

We could go to Rise and make fun of New Jersey, that's pretty NYC, Aaron.

Is that the agenda for the NYCMEGAFAP?

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

That's for Aaron's special day!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

The agenda for the MEGAFAP is for me to set fire to a car somewhere.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha! There was a party in DUMBO a few months ago where they had junked up cars for people to destroy at will! We need another one of those.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

DUMBO reminds me of Detroit!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

What doesn't remind you of Detroit?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

That guy underneath the blonde girl in that pic has a look on his face like he's ready to KILL. The part of his face you can see anyway.

― Calz' Super Fantastic Titty Talk (nickalicious), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

He's like our Harrison Ford.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 23 May 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

What? So Ally has fake tits? Man, that is so pathetic. You should be happy with what you've got. Lots of people are born blind or deaf or without legs and today's society turns to little things and tells people "guys will like you more with fake tits". It's the American dream gone a whole new level of stupidity.

― Calz (Calz), Friday, 23 May 2003 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

The agenda for the MEGAFAP is for me to set fire to a car somewhere.

Just the one?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 May 2003 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum shut the fuck up.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 23 May 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, we like Al's falsies just fine.

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

That girl on the right is cute. Who is she? Does she like A Tribe Called Quest and/or The Police? How about Echo & The Bunnymen? What does she do for a living? Really? Is her daddy rich? I see she likes men with short hair. I HAVE AN ANGLE.

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 23 May 2003 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Is her daddy rich... like me?

― jm (jtm), Friday, 23 May 2003 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think she'd be familiar with any of those acts, but her boyfriend is a hitman so I don't think you wanna mess with it, Millar.

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 25 May 2003 01:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Military vs. Mafia FITE

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 25 May 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

That is a battle I do not think that you can win.

― jm (jtm), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:20 (twenty-two years ago)

She's never heard the Police?

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Beyond Every Breath You Take, probably not.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

That's pretty cool.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:48 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

RANDOM THREAD I KISS YOU

so I still think I should get this done. but what happens when you have a baby?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:19 (twenty years ago)

not good things.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:21 (twenty years ago)

Your baby comes out all plasticy like a baby doll and then it nurses on the silicone and it grows up to be a mannequin, but this might have just been an opium dream I had.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:22 (twenty years ago)

your boobs get MONSTROUSLY HUGE OH NO LOOK OUT!!!

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:23 (twenty years ago)

Your baby comes out all plasticy like a baby doll and then it nurses on the silicone and it grows up to be a mannequin, but this might have just been an opium dream I had.

Actually I think this was the lost pilot episode of "Today's Special."

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:26 (twenty years ago)

You see, there's this magic bra, and when you wear it...

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:28 (twenty years ago)

...your nipples vanish.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:29 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.megsplace.com/TimeWarp/tsssong.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:31 (twenty years ago)

I just parsed that as http : // www . megsplace / TomWaits /titsong.mpg and was really, really excited.

― Remy Snush (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:35 (twenty years ago)

That's very indie of you.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:15 (twenty years ago)

Fake breasts, classic in p0rns, dud in hands.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:18 (twenty years ago)

If you get the wrong doctor, your nipple might end up like Tara Reid's - http://thatsjustnotright.com/movies/hires/tarareid/image-html/Tara_Reid_P_Diddys_Ball_19.html

NSFW, also huge but I'm too frightened/lazy to look for a smaller one.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:20 (twenty years ago)

blargh

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:28 (twenty years ago)

now imagine it with an MP3 of "Scar Tissue" embedded.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:36 (twenty years ago)

I just don't understand why any doctor would go through the nipple for this surgery.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:48 (twenty years ago)

They like to pretend they're popping open a bottle of champagne?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:49 (twenty years ago)

yeah, i thought they made the cuts underneath? that's disgusting, tara reid.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:49 (twenty years ago)

Wow, that picture is ginormous. And wrong.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:49 (twenty years ago)

More pictures of this at awfulplasticsurgery dot com. And they really are awful. It looks like she did it herself with an exacto knife.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:50 (twenty years ago)

Going through the nipple supposedly leaves less of a scar. They do it on Nip/Tuck all the time.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:53 (twenty years ago)

Don't you lose a lot of sensation when they go through the nipple? NOT WORTH IT.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:54 (twenty years ago)

They're a huge (har har) dud in porn, for me. Why don't you just get some digitally created cyberchick in there with a robopussy while you're at it.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:54 (twenty years ago)

Okay, as long as I'm at it.

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:55 (twenty years ago)

It seems to me that going through the nipple is the option for women who hate having sensation in their nipples. (HA XPOST)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:59 (twenty years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00064VQWQ.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

LOOK @ URL

― TITS.JPG (ex machina), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 22:00 (twenty years ago)

I thought the point of going through the nipple was that, you know, there's already stuff going on there anyway, skin-wise, and so if you don't want a visible scar it makes sense to hide it there in the let's say oasis as opposed to leaving it out plain as day on the sand dunes.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 22:01 (twenty years ago)

(I feel compelled to point out that if I every find some porn that features women with women implanted in their chests, I will be honor-bound to drive to oops's locale and kick him in the nuts.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 22:07 (twenty years ago)

I think the nipple disappears because the breast skin is stretched soooo much when a woman gets implants, and the nipple itself gets stretched (thus near-collapsing) as a result.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 22:34 (twenty years ago)

You're like the Stephen Hawking of breasts!

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago)

'collapsing nipple'

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 23:01 (twenty years ago)

"Here we see Tara Reid's nipple slowly slipping into the event horizon. Soon, it will no longer be part of the visible universe."

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 23:17 (twenty years ago)

*rereads start of thread* Wow, almost a different universe up there.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 23:33 (twenty years ago)

i met dan marino in a bar once. he was sitting at a table with: lawrence taylor, bruce smith and bruce hornsby. talk about a celeb sighting!!!

I always meant to ask, but...Bruce Hornsby? Why was he there?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 23:40 (twenty years ago)

Aesthetically, I always think dud to the original question when it's obvious that someone has had them done, but then I think, well what if it's not obvious and they're "fooling" everyone?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 23:43 (twenty years ago)

I would like to take this time to direct people's attention to:

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com

A gem in the internet crown.

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 23:47 (twenty years ago)

I dunno. Some of that site is kind of funny but some of it is kind of bullshit. Though Kate Beckinsale's stretch marks kind of frightened me.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 00:04 (twenty years ago)

I'm with Marshall Mathers

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:00 (twenty years ago)

I'm ready to call 75% of that site good/bad lighting 101

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:03 (twenty years ago)

wrt teh tittehs, anyway...

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:03 (twenty years ago)

Or their photos of Sarah Jessica Parker and Madonna.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:06 (twenty years ago)

Kate Beckinsale has a child so perhaps the stretch marks were a result of that?

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:14 (twenty years ago)

I just like to believe all the gossip I read on the intarweb.

see: the a-list.

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:17 (twenty years ago)

I just thought the stretch marks looked k-gross in that dress, not saying either way about any surgery she might or might not have had.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:29 (twenty years ago)

Yes yes, I know, I was just going along with the "75% of that site good/bad lighting 101" stuff. Someone should've told her there are creams for that kind of thing. Ccccrrrrrrreeeeammmssss.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:36 (twenty years ago)

dolladollabill y'all

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago)

She's still hot.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago)

Who, K-Becks?

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:45 (twenty years ago)

i've met the father of kate beckinsale's kid. nice guy!

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 01:53 (twenty years ago)

K-Becks, yes. Hottest scientist ever in Laurel Canyon.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 2 December 2004 02:30 (twenty years ago)

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