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Bait My Clickhole

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http://www.clickhole.com/video/moment-courage-30-seconds-327

― 龜, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:05 (eleven years ago)

Thread title is an unfortunate development.

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:09 (eleven years ago)

haven't really found any of these that funny tbh

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:12 (eleven years ago)

condolences

― Kevin from Blechgium (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:13 (eleven years ago)

Thread title is an unfortunate development.

Will have no complaints from the fella who shared the Calvin and Hobbes clickhole on facebook

― 龜, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:14 (eleven years ago)

touche

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:16 (eleven years ago)

Legal analysis: http://comicsbeat.com/is-the-clickhole-calvin-and-hobbes-cartoon-illegal-child-porn

― WilliamC, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:17 (eleven years ago)

haven't really found any of these that funny tbh

How much time do you spend looking at things people link from Upworthy or Buzzfeed? Half the enjoyment of Clickhole is the skewering of the "feel-good" and "fun" nature of those sites. The jokes are a bonus.

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:18 (eleven years ago)

I wonder if this site will help destroy social clickbait or just reinforce it

― Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:19 (eleven years ago)

99.99999 sure neither

― rap is afraid of me (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:22 (eleven years ago)

Clickbait will keep morphing from lists to quizzes to gifs to something else. It's kind of hard to kill.

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:22 (eleven years ago)

I just I had the "hide all from whatever.com" on my phone rather than just on the desktop version

― Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 21:02 (eleven years ago)

I wish I had

― Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 21:02 (eleven years ago)

How much time do you spend looking at things people link from Upworthy or Buzzfeed?

About 3 minutes a year, when there's a really good gallery of 100 cat photos on Buzzfeed. So 3/525600 of the time?

― rage against martin sheen (sic), Thursday, 19 June 2014 00:18 (eleven years ago)

how do you know which cat photos are the best unless you look at all of themmmmm

― write 500 words of song (sleepingbag), Thursday, 19 June 2014 00:23 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-classic-90s-toys-werent-fun-anymore-after-911-333

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 19 June 2014 17:56 (eleven years ago)

damn

― mattresslessness, Thursday, 19 June 2014 20:24 (eleven years ago)

haven't really found any of these that funny tbh

bingo, these are such an easy thing to lampoon and yet they do it so poorly, even feedbuzz was better than this

― Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Thursday, 19 June 2014 20:42 (eleven years ago)

though I do have some hope for the future of clickhole

― Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Thursday, 19 June 2014 20:42 (eleven years ago)

clickhole's main joke seems to be that other things are vacant and unfunny. well sure, but it's not a very good joke.

― Pew Nornographers (contenderizer), Thursday, 19 June 2014 20:56 (eleven years ago)

it's made me laugh harder than the new season of Louie

― macklemorange is the new wack (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 June 2014 20:59 (eleven years ago)

bingo, these are such an easy thing to lampoon and yet they do it so poorly, even feedbuzz was better than this

― Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Thursday, June 19, 2014 4:42 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

don't you talk about feedbuzz like that

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:06 (eleven years ago)

clickhole's main joke seems to be that other things are vacant and unfunny. well sure, but it's not a very good joke.

― Pew Nornographers (contenderizer), Thursday, June 19, 2014 4:56 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

we are all vacant and unfunny and that's the only joke there ever was

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:07 (eleven years ago)

even feedbuzz was better than this

― Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Thursday, June 19, 2014 4:42 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark

Wow this is probably the most offensive thing you have ever posted

― 龜, Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:07 (eleven years ago)

They've already been doing this for a little while with their slideshows on the onion. I'm not really ready (or cool enough) to write off clickhole after a few days. There have already been a couple of things that have made me laugh pretty hard.

― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:16 (eleven years ago)

i'm cool enough to write off clickhole, but i'm not, i'm laughing off of it

― mattresslessness, Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:19 (eleven years ago)

the best part of clickhole is the fact they have actual bullshit click-bait ads at the bottom that I keep thinking are satire

― mh, Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:23 (eleven years ago)

such a great part of it.

― socki (s1ocki), Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:32 (eleven years ago)

on their first day, I clicked on one thinking it'd be another satirical article, and it took several moments for me to realize I had gone to another site

― mh, Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:38 (eleven years ago)

i mean, i think a huge part of my enjoyment of clickhole is working in the media industry for 12 years and slowly watching the media outlets I love move from

http://www.villagevoice.com/2003-04-15/music/mr-and-mrs-used-to-be/

to

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/2013/04/hottest_dancing_coachella_gifs.php

Since the Onion itself has moved from making weekly satire to hourly clickbait, I'm guessing a lot of veterans of the staff are feeling the fatigue, and I imagine clickhole is coming from a very real place

― macklemorange is the new wack (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:38 (eleven years ago)

the hate is palpable

― mh, Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:39 (eleven years ago)

that's a fair point actually. i shd probably revisit it in a week or so.

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:40 (eleven years ago)

I can imagine some humor writers who've finessed their craft for a decade could probably get a little bent out of shape at the Buzzfeeds, Crackeds, Chives, &c getting monster traffic by gaming the system as opposed to actually making better material.

Its something that a lot of music writers have been going through for the last few years (paging @maura)

― macklemorange is the new wack (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 June 2014 21:45 (eleven years ago)

Whiney otm

― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Friday, 20 June 2014 08:29 (eleven years ago)

the best part of clickhole is the fact they have actual bullshit click-bait ads at the bottom that I keep thinking are satire

― mh, Thursday, June 19, 2014 9:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

UK posters may be reminded of the terrible 'improve your memory' type ads in Viz (which I think they still run)

― Kiss Screaming Seagull Her Seagull Her (DJ Mencap), Friday, 20 June 2014 08:49 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-classic-90s-toys-werent-fun-anymore-after-911-333

― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Friday, 20 June 2014 12:00 (eleven years ago)

hi guys

― maura, Friday, 20 June 2014 13:05 (eleven years ago)

so - youtube has pulled the calvin and hobbes vid

― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Friday, 20 June 2014 13:11 (eleven years ago)

Probably sensible given the potential legal issues.

― Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Friday, 20 June 2014 13:17 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-classic-90s-toys-werent-fun-anymore-after-911-333

― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Friday, June 20, 2014 8:00 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this one is the best, dont really care about the rest of the site tho

― ciderpress, Friday, 20 June 2014 13:38 (eleven years ago)

Jesus Christ that village voice coachella thing is so dour

― Now I Am Become Dracula (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 20 June 2014 14:07 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/woman-takes-one-photo-herself-every-day-week-337

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Friday, 20 June 2014 14:26 (eleven years ago)

Yeah the Voice in the last several years is like a debauched, strung-out junkie version of its former self.

― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Friday, 20 June 2014 14:32 (eleven years ago)

the Voice is soon going to be a single guy in his underwear posting clickporn photo sets of sex events

― THIS IS NOT A BENGHAZI T-SHIRT (Hurting 2), Thursday, May 9, 2013 12:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Friday, 20 June 2014 14:36 (eleven years ago)

I like cracked in that they'll put at least a modicum of actual research into their bits.

Also their ed-in-chief has admitted to writing some Clickhole jokes. I wonder how many AV Club/Dissolve writers have done the same.

― Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Friday, 20 June 2014 17:54 (eleven years ago)

I can imagine some humor writers who've finessed their craft for a decade could probably get a little bent out of shape at the Buzzfeeds, Crackeds, Chives, &c getting monster traffic by gaming the system as opposed to actually making better material.

and the onion kind of depends on the existence of normal news to acclimatize people! what must young buzzfeed hedz even think about all those worrrrds

― j., Friday, 20 June 2014 22:26 (eleven years ago)

Area man ponders current state of online journalism.

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Friday, 20 June 2014 23:36 (eleven years ago)

tbh i sort of felt bad for cracked once buzzfeed and upworthy usurped facebook, they sucked but at least they put some time in

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 21 June 2014 00:01 (eleven years ago)

yeah i checked cracked just now and they've gone way more upworthy and less gonzo

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Saturday, 21 June 2014 00:20 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-noir-films-have-you-seen-331

― scott seward, Saturday, 21 June 2014 01:25 (eleven years ago)

(That image is from bela tarr's 'man from London', from the long 13 minute opening shot)

― koogs, Saturday, 21 June 2014 05:15 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/bop-it-350

― What Is It Like To Be A HOOS? (silby), Saturday, 21 June 2014 05:21 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-things-only-people-who-went-sleepaway-camp-will--344

― socki (s1ocki), Saturday, 21 June 2014 13:49 (eleven years ago)

i mean, i think a huge part of my enjoyment of clickhole is working in the media industry for 12 years and slowly watching the media outlets I love move from

http://www.villagevoice.com/2003-04-15/music/mr-and-mrs-used-to-be/

to

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/2013/04/hottest_dancing_coachella_gifs.php

Since the Onion itself has moved from making weekly satire to hourly clickbait, I'm guessing a lot of veterans of the staff are feeling the fatigue, and I imagine clickhole is coming from a very real place

― macklemorange is the new wack (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, June 19, 2014 4:38 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god, this resonates so much. i guess i didn't realize how much i missed even halfway decent journalism when i compared those two VV links. oy vey.

― I dunno. (amateurist), Sunday, 22 June 2014 01:43 (eleven years ago)

the Voice is soon going to be a single guy in his underwear posting clickporn photo sets of sex events

― THIS IS NOT A BENGHAZI T-SHIRT (Hurting 2), Thursday, May 9, 2013 12:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― patron sailor, Sunday, 22 June 2014 20:54 (eleven years ago)

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2014/06/sucked-into-the-clickhole.html?utm_source=tny&utm_campaign=generalsocial&utm_medium=twitter&mbid=social_twitter

― global tetrahedron, Monday, 23 June 2014 14:23 (eleven years ago)

actually kinda disappointed that it's jokey, i've found 'straight' coverage of the onion to be pretty interesting

― global tetrahedron, Monday, 23 June 2014 14:25 (eleven years ago)

I don't believe

― Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 23 June 2014 14:39 (eleven years ago)

actually kinda disappointed that it's jokey, i've found 'straight' coverage of the onion to be pretty interesting

― global tetrahedron, Monday, June 23, 2014 10:25 AM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah me too

― socki (s1ocki), Monday, 23 June 2014 14:42 (eleven years ago)

Who is the ideal ClickHole reader?

J. A.: I think we see the ideal ClickHole reader as a hollow shell who exists purely to click on our content and then share that content with other hollow shells.

― Evan, Monday, 23 June 2014 15:43 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/every-way-us-can-advance-world-cup-359?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Monday, 23 June 2014 19:16 (eleven years ago)

the clearest breakdown yet

― Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 23 June 2014 20:12 (eleven years ago)

#6

― balls, Monday, 23 June 2014 23:40 (eleven years ago)

Has anyone else noticed that buzzfeed started posting its own hamfisted clickbait parodies?

― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 00:56 (eleven years ago)

BobWyman3 hours ago
I went, I clicked a couple, I thought "Very funny". Not the site but that you tricked me. Trust has taken a hit. When trust is gone then we will probably break up. Bad enough that the Onion went from funny to opinionated just like the TV show M*A*S*H did (Die Alan Alda, die). I blame Baby-Boomers (stupid name). Acting all hip then becoming their parents. Now listen up: Children are not cute or adorable, especially yours. Your children now in their 20's or so are insipid morons. Totally clueless and smug. It is because you called your son "Sport" and made him smoke dope with you. Lame. How many episodes of "Friends" did I watch? Can "Sport" count to "zero"?
How bad is it? I will tell you. I saw some "true crime" show recently. The show needed a young female author to fill the viewers in on nuances we may have missed due to bad acting. She had written a book about the Manson Family (look out Bugliosi) and stated to the viewers, "The Manson Family were at the core of the hippie movement in the 1960's. What???? What???? What????

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 04:59 (eleven years ago)

Wot

― Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 06:35 (eleven years ago)

today a buzzfeed writer was fooled by a clickhole article on twitter XD

― some dude, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 19:38 (eleven years ago)

link???

― le goon (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 19:41 (eleven years ago)

https://twitter.com/brokeymcpoverty/status/481510630080647168

tried to play it off later ("im not unaware that the article was lighthearted guys") but i doubt you'd have that initial reaction without being fooled/confused

― some dude, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 19:55 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/stick-butter-left-out-room-temperature-you-wont-be-368

― 龜, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 19:58 (eleven years ago)

haha it's a 3 hour video

― some dude, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 20:03 (eleven years ago)

this is still the best take on the form imo
http://f.eed.bz/5-ways-to-respond-to-do-you-like-malcolm-in-the-middle/

― ciderpress, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 20:04 (eleven years ago)

^ I like that one but Feedbuzz suffers from the same problem that made 99% of SA unreadable which was EVERYTHING WAS TOO FUCKING LONG

― 龜, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 20:08 (eleven years ago)

yeah agreed, i just like that one post individually

― ciderpress, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 20:09 (eleven years ago)

lol at the Buzzfeed staffer getting taken.

― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 20:13 (eleven years ago)

i think what feedbuzz didnt get but what clickhole does is it's not enough to make fun of the form, which is very easy and simple and which basically anyone can do (see every bad "You Won't Believe What Happens Next!" Upworthy joke on twitter), but the content actually has to be funny to

― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 03:54 (eleven years ago)

o

― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 03:55 (eleven years ago)

loved feedbuzz and it was kinda a lark anyway so don't think it's a real slam to say that this thing one of the more consistent comedy institutions of the past twenty years has come out w/ betters it

― balls, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 04:06 (eleven years ago)

pretty much the hole fake onion sites fall into where they don't understand humor and think the formula is fake news (wish fulfillment) plus words means funny

― mh, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 04:15 (eleven years ago)

There was an article somewhere about how some of those sites may not actually be trying that hard to be funny, just going for clicks based on confused shares.

― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 04:18 (eleven years ago)

Good for them, I have heard uploading lots of shit to the web gets you clicks

― mh, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 04:20 (eleven years ago)

loved feedbuzz and it was kinda a lark anyway so don't think it's a real slam to say that this thing one of the more consistent comedy institutions of the past twenty years has come out w/ betters it

― balls, Wednesday, June 25, 2014 12:06 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

feedbuzz was way more variable, but that was part of the fun. it had lower lows but it aimed for the bleachers sometimes.

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 04:29 (eleven years ago)

the daily currant is the one that poses as unfunny satire to confuse people

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 04:40 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/these-plus-size-models-are-beautiful-no-matter-wha-376

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 16:52 (eleven years ago)

irl lol at this:

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-beach-boys-songs-have-you-heard-379

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 16:54 (eleven years ago)

"In Defense of Beach Culture"

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 16:57 (eleven years ago)

a missed ilm precovers opportunity

― lauded at conferences of deluded psychopaths (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 17:06 (eleven years ago)

dying at 'Driving Is Like Surfing With Cars'

― iatee, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 17:08 (eleven years ago)

I AM ALL THAT IS
SUZETTE

― lauded at conferences of deluded psychopaths (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 17:14 (eleven years ago)

i liked this quiz!
http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-future-us-president-are-you-378

― Mordy, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 17:18 (eleven years ago)

The plus-size models one - remove the bits about the word balloon and they are almost exactly the Dove ads from a few years ago. "What’s the matter? Do you think there’s something wrong with this picture? Well we’ve got news for you: That’s your problem, because she is a stunningly desirable woman, no matter what Hollywood says she’s supposed to look like"

― kinder, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 17:25 (eleven years ago)

A Sand Is A Tiny Tiny Rock

― hug niceman (psychgawsple), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 18:34 (eleven years ago)

hard to tell if that's mock love or mock wilson song title

― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 18:50 (eleven years ago)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Palm_Beach_Band_Boys#The_Palm_Beach_Band_Boys_Strike_Again

― Rrrhhhh (abanana), Wednesday, 25 June 2014 19:48 (eleven years ago)

I just assume most websites are long-running meta jokes.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 20:27 (eleven years ago)

waiting for a literally unebelievable spinoff to show up

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 26 June 2014 03:01 (eleven years ago)

Those Beach Boys songs are spot-on.

― 3kDk (dog latin), Thursday, 26 June 2014 13:19 (eleven years ago)

i like that they go to the trouble of having a functional quiz and have different blurbs depending on how many you get right.

the friends episodes one also funny. as is the 'which lion from the lion the witch and the wardrobe are you?'

― koogs, Thursday, 26 June 2014 13:30 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/got-three-minutes-video-will-confirm-380

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 26 June 2014 19:54 (eleven years ago)

cthulols

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-long-will-you-survive-chamber-388

― goole, Thursday, 26 June 2014 20:51 (eleven years ago)

Worth it just for #4:

http://www.clickhole.com/slideshow/5-things-you-didnt-know-about-transformers-402

― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Friday, 27 June 2014 15:00 (eleven years ago)

Literally Unbelievable has decided to absorb Clickhole into its regular Onion content I guess.

https://38.media.tumblr.com/444827e15f2e82887c743437569fd436/tumblr_n7tbeecJvX1qkt6yoo1_500.png

― Johnny Fever, Friday, 27 June 2014 17:28 (eleven years ago)

Awesome- given the fact that it's pretty indistinguishable from the actual clickbait shit on any given facebook feed I'm not surprised to see a lot of confusion.

― Evan, Friday, 27 June 2014 17:37 (eleven years ago)

stars cream

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 27 June 2014 23:19 (eleven years ago)

shared the beach boys thing on my facebook, an earnest discussion of the beach boys has begun between friends who have clearly not clicked on/read the link.

― The Littlest Boho (stevie), Saturday, 28 June 2014 17:23 (eleven years ago)

ask what their score was

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 28 June 2014 17:33 (eleven years ago)

I like how they kept calling Dennis 'Denny'

― lauded at conferences of deluded psychopaths (Sparkle Motion), Saturday, 28 June 2014 17:47 (eleven years ago)

Real-Life Transformer? This Man Turned His Car Into A Killing Machine

― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Monday, 30 June 2014 12:15 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/video-will-make-you-rethink-way-you-think-about-pi-427?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

http://www.clickhole.com/video/video-will-make-you-go-back-original-way-you-thoug-437?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

― how's life, Monday, 30 June 2014 17:17 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/video-will-drastically-change-way-pitbulls-think-a-431

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Monday, 30 June 2014 17:19 (eleven years ago)

heh

― how's life, Monday, 30 June 2014 17:23 (eleven years ago)

loll

― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 30 June 2014 17:29 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/video-will-not-play-way-you-think-about-pitbulls-w-429?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Monday, 30 June 2014 17:36 (eleven years ago)

Have almost bought jack link beef jerky on two occasions now because of how much I love Clickhole

― 龜, Monday, 30 June 2014 17:54 (eleven years ago)

This one killed me...

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/when-i-started-writing-game-thrones-i-didnt-know-w-292

― Evan, Monday, 30 June 2014 18:14 (eleven years ago)

omg the pitbull series

― poop will eat itself (S-), Tuesday, 1 July 2014 02:42 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/are-we-setting-unrealistic-standards-beauty-our-fe-371

― poop will eat itself (S-), Tuesday, 1 July 2014 02:46 (eleven years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bq78YUNCMAEhyi1.png

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 2 July 2014 19:04 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/11-microbrews-you-have-try-summer-423 if only for 7

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 3 July 2014 00:37 (eleven years ago)

also

Joey Maqueda It would be nice if you mentioned where these breweries are located. Luckily I know where Odell is because I live in Colorado, but I'm guessing most of these aren't distributed very widely.

Rob Bledsoe I might actually take this article seriously if the writer had bothered to point out what brewery made each beer. Kinda hard to find a craft beer by its name alone since you don't even know if it's distributed in your area.

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 3 July 2014 00:38 (eleven years ago)

great punchline

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-things-you-didnt-know-siri-could-do-418

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Thursday, 3 July 2014 01:28 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-founding-father-are-you-424

― 龜, Thursday, 3 July 2014 15:32 (eleven years ago)

hahahahahahahahasobhahahahahaha

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Thursday, 3 July 2014 15:40 (eleven years ago)

i did lol

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 3 July 2014 15:57 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-seinfeld-character-are-you-446

― Barry Gordy (Neil S), Tuesday, 8 July 2014 15:25 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-classic-dad-texts-483

― Evan, Friday, 11 July 2014 19:51 (eleven years ago)

3. LOL! This one just screams ‘Dad!’
http://chimg.onionstatic.com/1299/original/480.jpg

― Evan, Friday, 11 July 2014 19:52 (eleven years ago)

Ha! all six of those are genius.

― Johnny Fever, Friday, 11 July 2014 19:59 (eleven years ago)

lol that one is so good

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Friday, 11 July 2014 20:15 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/did-you-know-todays-standards-marilyn-monroe-would-498

― guwop (crüt), Monday, 14 July 2014 16:12 (eleven years ago)

very obvious but I lolled: http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-introvert-extrovert-or-sea-monster-501?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Monday, 14 July 2014 17:24 (eleven years ago)

typical headline-funnier-than-article, but http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/what-your-teen-really-doing-when-she-says-shes-goi-467

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 14 July 2014 20:25 (eleven years ago)

haha

http://www.clickhole.com/article/people-are-finding-suits-armor-washed-beach-heres--381

― cardamon, Monday, 14 July 2014 21:30 (eleven years ago)

saw this one passed around twitter very credulously today: http://www.clickhole.com/article/grading-lebron-james-essay-485

― some dude, Monday, 14 July 2014 22:12 (eleven years ago)

^^^I loved that soooo much.

― when you call my name it's like a prickly pear (Crabbits), Tuesday, 15 July 2014 01:47 (eleven years ago)

I know literally fuck all about basketball but it spoke way too much about the passion and banality of grading essays.

― when you call my name it's like a prickly pear (Crabbits), Tuesday, 15 July 2014 01:48 (eleven years ago)

the question marks for 'old head' and 'word choice' for 'varejao' are great

― balls, Tuesday, 15 July 2014 03:43 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/youll-never-look-twinkie-same-way-again-519

― Queef Latina (Phil D.), Tuesday, 15 July 2014 18:12 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-cats-who-are-getting-their-summer-dedicated-memo-523

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Thursday, 17 July 2014 16:26 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-coolest-creatures-brought-life-andy-serkis-503

― gbx, Thursday, 17 July 2014 16:41 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-supercut-every-time-harrison-ford-says-harri-553

so dumb but i laughed v hard at this

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 17 July 2014 19:07 (eleven years ago)

lol i just noticed this above the ads

http://i.imgur.com/mYPcx7K.png

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 17 July 2014 19:22 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/OFuzyC5.jpg

i lold

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 18 July 2014 14:35 (eleven years ago)

i always suspected

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Friday, 18 July 2014 21:57 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/you-can-write-whatever-you-want-babyand-heres-proo-580

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 21 July 2014 18:17 (eleven years ago)

Haha! Bring me a baby and a marker!

― Johnny Fever, Monday, 21 July 2014 18:20 (eleven years ago)

this one is a bit woah http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/check-out-my-cool-new-desk-583

― NI, Monday, 21 July 2014 23:51 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-man-sees-his-family-first-time-after-27-year-594

― 龜, Tuesday, 22 July 2014 20:20 (eleven years ago)

Dying...

― Plasmon, Tuesday, 22 July 2014 21:29 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-you-should-never-say-pregnant-woman-586

― Evan, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 13:41 (eleven years ago)

yesss

― mh, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 13:47 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-most-beautiful-beaches-america-and-people-whove--561

― how's life, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 13:48 (eleven years ago)

i've been to 2 of those! (cape hatteras and grayton beach)

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 13:50 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-you-should-never-say-pregnant-woman-586

― Evan, Wednesday, July 23, 2014 1:41 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

plenty of potential for overlap I know but this seems more like an Onion thing

― Kiss Screaming Seagull Her Seagull Her (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 14:10 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-nsfw-pics-halle-berry-579

― not pop, shambhala, where to buy weed (some dude), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 14:15 (eleven years ago)

Yeah, I liked that one I must admit.

― Alex In Complete Agreement (aldo), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 14:17 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/beyonce-makes-susan-b-anthony-look-shit-sucking-gu-569

― scott seward, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 15:46 (eleven years ago)

damn

― mattresslessness, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:29 (eleven years ago)

Clickhole seven days ago
http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-real-names-rappers-theyd-rather-you-didnt-know-545

Guardian today
http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/quiz/2014/jul/23/can-you-guess-rappers-real-names

― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:33 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-you-should-never-say-pregnant-woman-586

― Evan, Wednesday, July 23, 2014 1:41 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

plenty of potential for overlap I know but this seems more like an Onion thing

― Kiss Screaming Seagull Her Seagull Her (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, July 23, 2014 10:10 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I like to think they decide based on how incognito the headline looks once posted on facebook.

― Evan, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:34 (eleven years ago)

DL posts another perfect example. It's like trying to write a parody Weezer song that can be distinguished from a real Weezer song they wrote with a straight face.

― Evan, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:40 (eleven years ago)

Poe's Law

― Mordy, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:49 (eleven years ago)

there are definitely articles on clickhole that seem like they should just be on the onion, especially a lot of the op eds the onion's been doing for years, they usually don't seem to fit into the clickbait mold

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 17:09 (eleven years ago)

lol

http://www.clickhole.com/video/whats-happening-gaza-will-shock-you-so-watch-inste-604?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― global tetrahedron, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 17:51 (eleven years ago)

thread is just becoming an RSS feed but

http://www.clickhole.com/article/4-famous-movie-lines-were-improvised-set-570

“No, my sled...” made me actuallol

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 18:08 (eleven years ago)

The movie’s directors agreed, and after two weeks of frantic rewrites, Garland’s off script moment had resulted in an entire fictional realm called Oz as the new setting for the all-time classic flick, which was renamed from After The Tornado to The Wizard Of Oz.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 18:09 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/beyonce-makes-susan-b-anthony-look-shit-sucking-gu-569

ha - I saw this in my FB feed this morning and thought it was a real Jezebel article

― Darin, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 18:26 (eleven years ago)

Susan Beyoncény

― kinder, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 18:29 (eleven years ago)

I really think this one is perfect because it angrily captures the mindlessness of clickbait garbage:

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-bing-bong-theory-are-you-524

The writer was probably at that same breaking point I'm at. I use the chat feature with a few people on facebook but it's tough to ignore the "feed" in the process and the content enrages me.

― Evan, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 19:20 (eleven years ago)

I completely lost my shit at that one. It's so stupid but so perfect.

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 19:31 (eleven years ago)

For real.

― Evan, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 19:54 (eleven years ago)

best yet

― chikungunya manatee (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 19:56 (eleven years ago)

man, i'd seen the word clickhole floating around but just thought it was another upstart clickbait site.

that Harrison Ford supercut made me tear up a little...

― alpine static, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 20:10 (eleven years ago)

Did anybody get through all the Youtube links on the Youtube url one yet? I made it about halfway through before realizing that they weren't all lols

― 龜, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 20:22 (eleven years ago)

i didn't bother checking them, assuming they were the subject viral videos reshuffled. no?

― alpine static, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 20:26 (eleven years ago)

Think they literally may have been collected from a random Youtube url generator

― 龜, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 20:28 (eleven years ago)

well shit, now i wanna go look at them all

― alpine static, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 20:32 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-one-those-shape-guys-are-you-hats-607

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 24 July 2014 18:31 (eleven years ago)

“Face Folk”
“Mighty Guys”
“Emotion Town”

― not pop, shambhala, where to buy weed (some dude), Thursday, 24 July 2014 18:33 (eleven years ago)

thread is just becoming an RSS feed but

http://www.clickhole.com/article/4-famous-movie-lines-were-improvised-set-570

“No, my sled...” made me actuallol

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, July 23, 2014 2:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This one just got me. Star Wars I was like, "huh, I don't remember reading that anywhere." Terminator I thought to remind myself to go check the wikipedia article later. Citizen Kane and Wizard of Oz seemed pretty plausible up until the renaming thing. I feel like a rube.

― how's life, Thursday, 24 July 2014 19:45 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/15-pets-you-didnt-know-it-was-legal-own-575

this was the first time ive ever been like "i want to see the real article"

― rap steve gadd (D-40), Thursday, 24 July 2014 20:46 (eleven years ago)

KIDS SHAPES SHAPE GUYS? ROUND PEOPLE CIRCLES LITTLE PEOPLE HATS COLORS OVALS SQUARES BANDAGES SMILEY GUYS CHILDREN'S BOOKS

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 25 July 2014 00:43 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/know-your-rights-things-keep-mind-when-dealing-pol-616

2. If you challenge a cop to a race, he legally has to race you. If you beat him, you are the cop.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 25 July 2014 17:53 (eleven years ago)

That's a four year old joke

1266d Jackson @tree_bro
if you can steal a cop's badge you become the cop #LittleKnownLaws

― 龜, Friday, 25 July 2014 18:56 (eleven years ago)

still great tho

― gbx, Friday, 25 July 2014 19:39 (eleven years ago)

Oh sweet I got an achievement

http://i.imgur.com/7NorrYp.jpg

― polyphonic, Monday, 28 July 2014 18:33 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-camp-songs-do-you-know-638

― scott seward, Monday, 28 July 2014 20:43 (eleven years ago)

Matthew Broderick Ran Over A Lady

wow

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 28 July 2014 21:00 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/1300/original/480.jpg

― ⓢⓗⓘⓣ (am0n), Monday, 28 July 2014 21:19 (eleven years ago)

Ignition (Remix)

― dilligaf escape plan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 29 July 2014 03:48 (eleven years ago)

that campfire thing.. not even a titter missus.

― piscesx, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 06:25 (eleven years ago)

lol http://www.clickhole.com/article/you-asked-it-and-you-got-it-hulu-bringing-back-cir-593

You Asked For It And You Got It! Hulu Is Bringing Back Circuit City

― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 15:47 (eleven years ago)

good to see that "literally unbelievable" is bringing clickhole in to the mix

http://i.imgur.com/IhJI7cX.png

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 29 July 2014 16:17 (eleven years ago)

I did not want to say it, but yeah.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 16:27 (eleven years ago)

You’ll have to use Google to find them all, but even a quick search for “Ben Affleck” turned up hundreds, if not thousands, of images of Affleck dressed EXACTLY like a muscular, dapper millionaire. We are officially geeking out.

― socki (s1ocki), Tuesday, 29 July 2014 16:52 (eleven years ago)

people on FB taking clickhole articles seriously is even better than people on FB taking Onion articles seriously

― Now I Am Become Dracula (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 29 July 2014 17:21 (eleven years ago)

do we think clickhole links are more or less 'believable' than onion stories?

― The beer was cold, but so was the glass, which drives me crazy. (stevie), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 10:17 (eleven years ago)

The thing they're parodying is less trustworthy to begin with, so there's not as much of a stretch to make?

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 10:19 (eleven years ago)

that's true. also people have had like 15 years to figure out what The Onion is.

― some dude, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 11:17 (eleven years ago)

People don't actually read enough of the article to get that it's a joke. I posted the one about craft beers and everyone who responded was all like "Can't wait to try them!" "Not all at once though!", "want to get together this week to try a couple of these" etc. It was pretty disappointing. Now everyone thinks I give a shit about craft beers.

― everything, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 16:46 (eleven years ago)

ahaha yeah that happened to me with the Game of Thrones baby names http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-colbert.gif

― kinder, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 16:50 (eleven years ago)

what if people are pretending to respond as if they think the piece is sincere in the name of meta-satire?

― why you gotta be Joe Root? (Daphnis Celesta), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 16:54 (eleven years ago)

that is pretty much the best response, people responding as if they think it's a legit list

― mh, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 16:56 (eleven years ago)

I'll ask my auntie if she was doing that

― kinder, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 16:57 (eleven years ago)

the secret is to pretend you believe it's real at all times

― why you gotta be Joe Root? (Daphnis Celesta), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 16:59 (eleven years ago)

otm

― mh, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 18:09 (eleven years ago)

OTOH Drake's real name actually is Dracula

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 18:23 (eleven years ago)

for some reason the Snoop Dogg reveal kills me every time

― mh, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 18:29 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-sloths-will-get-you-through-day-and-we-think-kur-659

― scott seward, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 19:33 (eleven years ago)

what if people are pretending to respond as if they think the piece is sincere in the name of meta-satire?

― why you gotta be Joe Root? (Daphnis Celesta), Wednesday, July 30, 2014 12:54 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this happened recently and tons of media outlets (including Buzzfeed) believed that most people really did think Steven Spielberg killed a dinosaur:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/no-internet-steven-spielberg-does-not-hunt-dinosaurs

― some dude, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 19:37 (eleven years ago)

lol that whole thing reminded me of this - https://screen.yahoo.com/jeff-goldblum-monologue-jurassic-park-000000618.html

― balls, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 19:40 (eleven years ago)

Wow that Kurt Cobain Sloth list.

― Evan, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 19:51 (eleven years ago)

Oops didn't mean to capitalize sloth.

― Evan, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 19:51 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/why-your-mother-and-i-are-getting-divorced-explain-598

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 20:04 (eleven years ago)

a lot of this is very Viz-ish

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 31 July 2014 10:36 (eleven years ago)

what if people are pretending to respond as if they think the piece is sincere in the name of meta-satire?

― why you gotta be Joe Root? (Daphnis Celesta), Wednesday, July 30, 2014 12:54 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this happened recently and tons of media outlets (including Buzzfeed) believed that most people really did think Steven Spielberg killed a dinosaur:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/no-internet-steven-spielberg-does-not-hunt-dinosaurs

― some dude, Wednesday, July 30, 2014 7:37 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hot off the presses on this theme http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2710645/What-Gazza-freegaza-campaign-confuses-football-fans-fear-Paul-Gascoigne-trouble-again.html

― for sale: Bebe's boots, never worn (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 31 July 2014 14:02 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/you-609

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 31 July 2014 14:03 (eleven years ago)

I love this: http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-20-year-old-experience-exact-moment-mcdonald-643

― dilligaf escape plan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 31 July 2014 14:14 (eleven years ago)

Watch A 20-Year-Old Experience The Exact Moment That Subway Stops Being A Treat

― socki (s1ocki), Thursday, 31 July 2014 14:28 (eleven years ago)

Damn

― 龜, Thursday, 31 July 2014 14:31 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-crazy-street-fight-warning-violence-665

― dilligaf escape plan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 1 August 2014 18:31 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/best-last-lines-famous-novels-677

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Saturday, 2 August 2014 05:26 (eleven years ago)

and this one ahaah http://www.clickhole.com/article/new-sky-circle-perfect-625

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Saturday, 2 August 2014 05:29 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/amazing-watch-how-one-startup-changing-way-we-get--683

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 03:44 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/faith-humanity-restored-these-reddit-users-came-to-725

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Monday, 11 August 2014 01:54 (eleven years ago)

i saw that on my twitter feed earlier and thought "no way am i clicking that", not noticing it was clickhole. i'm as stupid as all of the other stupid people on the internet.

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 11 August 2014 02:15 (eleven years ago)

Wow.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-more-unarmed-teens-still-large-731

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 11 August 2014 19:07 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-robin-williams-gifs-imperfectly-sum-his-life-and-742

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Tuesday, 12 August 2014 20:17 (eleven years ago)

Oscar V********* "Genie, you're free."

ALL the feels.

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 12 August 2014 21:55 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/lets-have-open-dialogue-about-sexuality-completely-738

― crüt, Thursday, 14 August 2014 13:46 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/time-i-spent-commercial-whaling-ship-totally-chang-768

― Matt DC, Thursday, 14 August 2014 16:00 (eleven years ago)

page is shorter than I would've thought. spectacular though

― heck (silby), Thursday, 14 August 2014 16:08 (eleven years ago)

no joke moby dick has been towards the top of my reading list lately, shld just use that page to finally do it

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Thursday, 14 August 2014 16:13 (eleven years ago)

nah don't read that shit

― markers, Thursday, 14 August 2014 16:20 (eleven years ago)

yeah that one is A+

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 14 August 2014 16:44 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/how-many-more-black-teenagers-have-die-racism-just-774

this is another one that seems more appropriate for regular onion. in fact, it is kind of the quintessential onion piece.

How many more stories like Michael Brown’s or Trayvon Martin’s must we hear before racism just kind of fizzles out without me having to do anything about it?

it's funny because it's horribly painful

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 14 August 2014 19:37 (eleven years ago)

clickholes been really on point lately

― dude (Lamp), Friday, 15 August 2014 12:46 (eleven years ago)

With all of the Clickhole articles that read more and more like actual Onion features, I get this unfounded fear that the satire stuff is all going to migrate over there and the Onion proper is just going to be fully turned over to the A/V Club nerds.

*shudder*

― Bus Sex Teen Busted After Queef Beef (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 15 August 2014 14:29 (eleven years ago)

But then we can burn it to the ground without regret

― i was a downy lad, and twee (stevie), Friday, 15 August 2014 15:05 (eleven years ago)

true

― Bus Sex Teen Busted After Queef Beef (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 15 August 2014 15:08 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-beautiful-interracial-arrests-798

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 19 August 2014 19:35 (eleven years ago)

From http://www.clickhole.com/article/2014-primetime-emmys-our-predictions-836 . They're apparently going to make this a thing, based on the quiz that ran previously.

What Will Win: The Bing Bang Theory Show

This is the year for John Parsons, Shelton, and the whole long bong gang! This year saw many episodes where the whole bang crew couldn’t stop binging. Special kudos to Jimperson in a bangworthy turn as Shammon.

What Should Win: The Bing Bong Brothers Show

Jim Sherlman, wow, what can you say: riveting every time with big theories about the one and only Bing Bros. Band. Can’t make enough antics to satisfy. Don’t sleep on Shelley, bangers! Won’t bang, can’t bang, bangalangalang.

― Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Monday, 25 August 2014 20:10 (eleven years ago)

I can't stop laughing at that; it's so stupid but so perfect

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Monday, 25 August 2014 20:12 (eleven years ago)

i lol'd hard at this one:
http://clickhole.com/quiz/which-disney-prince-are-you-675

― Mordy, Monday, 25 August 2014 20:16 (eleven years ago)

Mind blwon. http://www.clickhole.com/article/23-insanely-mind-blowing-facts-about-class-2018-831

― Scary Darey (dog latin), Tuesday, 26 August 2014 15:23 (eleven years ago)

the 'NSync one is wonderful

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Tuesday, 26 August 2014 15:25 (eleven years ago)

Um, do you guys also have that picture of a guy in a sweater with a dog? That's the former Danish prime minister, and I'm confused as to what he's doing there.

― Frederik B, Tuesday, 26 August 2014 15:34 (eleven years ago)

omg

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Tuesday, 26 August 2014 15:34 (eleven years ago)

IRL LOL at the Matthew McConnaughey one.

― Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 26 August 2014 15:38 (eleven years ago)

lol @ Frederik's revelation about that picture

― mh, Tuesday, 26 August 2014 16:21 (eleven years ago)

yeah no kidding!

― goole, Tuesday, 26 August 2014 16:44 (eleven years ago)

17. Most have never owned intelligent emeralds, terminated a Deviant, or merged their neural architecture with WatchNet.

― socki (s1ocki), Tuesday, 26 August 2014 19:11 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-tips-fuck-good-823

― Untitled Female Spiderverse (silverfish), Friday, 29 August 2014 17:33 (eleven years ago)

I especially like:

Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches: Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches around your mattress to encircle your fuck-chamber with a sensual flame while you fuck like a master. Fuck-Torches are not expensive and they make you fuck good, so just buy so many of them. Then while you are fucking, your sexual lover might say, “I like your Fuck-Torches,” and you can say, “Thank you. They were not expensive.”

― Untitled Female Spiderverse (silverfish), Friday, 29 August 2014 17:34 (eleven years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BwOVjrvCAAEywjE.jpg

― lag∞n, Friday, 29 August 2014 17:51 (eleven years ago)

haha

― mattresslessness, Friday, 29 August 2014 17:52 (eleven years ago)

sweat wine has rick ross vibe

― schlump, Friday, 29 August 2014 18:47 (eleven years ago)

i wish they'd do something on those buzzfeed "12 people discuss what types of people names have attached to them"

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 29 August 2014 22:00 (eleven years ago)

ie

“Is there anyone worse than a Conner?”
“Fucking Conner/Conors.”
“Yeah, fuck a Connor. NOT literally.”
“Self-righteous.”

“Craigs are trouble.”
“Craigs are the worst.”

“You know what could go either way? Dans.”
“Yes, Dans can be whiny but also really loyal and awesome.”
“Wow, I agree. Dans are whiny and loyal and attentive.”

“David = annoying and clingy and insecure.”
“I found Davids to be hot and kind of douchey.”
“Davids have the best butts now.”

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 29 August 2014 22:04 (eleven years ago)

it's been like three months and i'm still recovering from “Davids have the best butts now.”

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 29 August 2014 22:04 (eleven years ago)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/medieval-beasts-that-cannot-even-handle-it-right-now#22qrema

clickbait satire didn't take long to eat itself huh

― intelligent, expressive males within the greater metropolitan (Bananaman Begins), Saturday, 30 August 2014 10:45 (eleven years ago)

as we approach the singularity everything will eat itself faster and faster, the true ouroboros is an invisible point, lol @ davids have the best butts "now", demand an annual reinvestigation

― difficult listening hour, Saturday, 30 August 2014 11:19 (eleven years ago)

david's my middle name, does that effect my butt or maybe just my anus

― birdman junior dad (some dude), Saturday, 30 August 2014 11:22 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/wedding-bells-bradgelinad-angebrajolitt-officially-872

― 龜, Monday, 1 September 2014 12:47 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/you-would-think-all-90s-nostalgia-would-mean-more--858

― bozack horseman (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 1 September 2014 15:11 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/his-classmates-have-always-bullied-him-wait-till-t-863

― scott seward, Monday, 1 September 2014 15:46 (eleven years ago)

this made me laugh: http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-reasons-why-cheese-better-boyfriend-though-eithe-816 (sorry if it's already been posted)

― alpine static, Monday, 1 September 2014 18:47 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/loyal-dog-refuses-leave-grave-has-peanut-butter-it-901

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 21:16 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/how-get-nude-pics-absolutely-any-celebrity-907

― 龜, Wednesday, 3 September 2014 15:29 (eleven years ago)

Omg that last one.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 3 September 2014 20:18 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-classic-posters-do-you-have-your-do-945

Many lols, but man, someone really needs to make that Miles poster.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 5 September 2014 20:48 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-musicians-who-wed-definitely-bathe-their-twiligh-929?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

I am beside myself here

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Monday, 8 September 2014 15:23 (eleven years ago)

lol 8. The Drummer From Foo Fighters

― lag∞n, Monday, 8 September 2014 16:03 (eleven years ago)

haha

― Johnny Fever, Monday, 8 September 2014 16:35 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/my-defense-i-am-monster-957?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

omg again

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Monday, 8 September 2014 19:24 (eleven years ago)

"Much like a businessman who finds time for his career, a student who manages to simultaneously study and attend college, or a basketball player who is also an athlete, I wear many hats."

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/im-mother-im-also-parent-897

― scott seward, Monday, 8 September 2014 19:33 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/6-year-old-guitarist-adorable-my-solos-are-amazing-980

I can't

― 龜, Thursday, 11 September 2014 17:31 (eleven years ago)

omg can't breathe

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Thursday, 11 September 2014 17:34 (eleven years ago)

genius

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 11 September 2014 17:36 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/woman-tried-put-chapstick-cat-and-its-definitely-n-922

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 11 September 2014 17:57 (eleven years ago)

Love this one:

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-iraq-war-are-you-985

― Evan, Thursday, 11 September 2014 18:59 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/stunning-map-shows-just-how-much-iraq-and-syria-vi-924

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Friday, 12 September 2014 15:31 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/conflict-gaza-explained-one-long-noise-978

― Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Friday, 12 September 2014 15:46 (eleven years ago)

3. What is your favorite Star Wars trilogy?
The original
The second, terrible one
The third one, where we don’t really know what’s going to happen

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 12 September 2014 16:57 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/7hdNv4q.png

― lag∞n, Monday, 15 September 2014 14:46 (eleven years ago)

i have been v much enjoying that feature

― Lamp, Monday, 15 September 2014 15:10 (eleven years ago)

it's pretty much the best

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Monday, 15 September 2014 15:14 (eleven years ago)

otm

― lag∞n, Monday, 15 September 2014 15:15 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/just-thinking-out-loud-here-what-if-lana-del-rey-w-939

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Monday, 15 September 2014 16:27 (eleven years ago)

hahahaha

― Doctor Casino, Monday, 15 September 2014 18:31 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-secret-mcdonalds-menu-items-you-have-order-888

― lag∞n, Monday, 15 September 2014 21:01 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com

― evangelos (am0n), Monday, 15 September 2014 21:13 (eleven years ago)

am0n OTM

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Monday, 15 September 2014 21:20 (eleven years ago)

If you like them on Facebook they basically take over your FB feed which imo is a major improvement

― 龜, Monday, 15 September 2014 21:23 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/you-dont-have-agree-my-choice-breastfeed-your-baby-1005

seriously dying over this

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 15:48 (eleven years ago)

rip djp

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 15:50 (eleven years ago)

it's realy sad, I was dying

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 15:53 (eleven years ago)

You got better!

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 15:54 (eleven years ago)

the secret menu one is magnificent

― Number None, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 16:35 (eleven years ago)

i was waiting for them to do a secret menu gag

― example (crüt), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 16:36 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/4-genius-rest-these-pictures-latte-art-are-okay-to-949

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 16:42 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-stars-who-died-exactly-their-appointed-times-970

― scott seward, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 17:01 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/3302/original/640.jpg

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 17:06 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-we-hope-george-takei-likes-enough-share--866

Damn no punches withheld

― 龜, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 17:11 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-video-man-being-reunited-guy-he-kind-knew-hi-1007

Ran into a guy from my high school a few weeks ago and it was exactly like this

― 龜, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 17:25 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/YnP3PUR.png

lol

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 18:06 (eleven years ago)

tbh if I saw a keith haring-esque little dude in my latte foam I'd be pretty pleased with my day

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 18:17 (eleven years ago)

It doesn't get any better.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 18:36 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/adorable-watch-8-year-old-slowly-realize-his-dads--1021

― scott seward, Wednesday, 17 September 2014 23:55 (eleven years ago)

Trying to figure out whether the fact that all Clickhole videos play a Jack Links jerky ad that continues playing after I click "skip", gets to the end, and then doesn't load the actual video (or alternatively, if I don't click "skip", plays to the end and then doesn't load the actual video), forcing me to click play on the player or reload the page, whereupon in either case I end up back at the beginning of the Jack Links jerky ad, in an eternal loop of wolf growls, is some kind of meta-Clickhole joke about the pointlessness of the modern online experience. Maybe the actual videos don't even exist.

Whole thing's making me a little hangry.

― Plasmon, Thursday, 18 September 2014 00:48 (eleven years ago)

how does jack links have the budget to fund this whole site? do people really eat that much beef jerky? I think I have seen someone eat beef jerky like once in my life

― iatee, Thursday, 18 September 2014 03:15 (eleven years ago)

i love beef jerky

― lag∞n, Thursday, 18 September 2014 03:24 (eleven years ago)

prob become more popular in our current low-carb climate

― lag∞n, Thursday, 18 September 2014 03:25 (eleven years ago)

jack links is prob nast tho

― lag∞n, Thursday, 18 September 2014 03:25 (eleven years ago)

I feel like beef just isn't very snacky in nature

― iatee, Thursday, 18 September 2014 03:30 (eleven years ago)

not usually its true

― lag∞n, Thursday, 18 September 2014 03:33 (eleven years ago)

but what about if we dried it out for u

― lag∞n, Thursday, 18 September 2014 03:34 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-summer-sequels-are-you-most-excited-see-thea-489

― Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Thursday, 18 September 2014 20:10 (eleven years ago)

United 94

guilty lol

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 18 September 2014 20:14 (eleven years ago)

I had some jack links turkey product today

― ⌘-B (mh), Thursday, 18 September 2014 21:05 (eleven years ago)

beef jerky is great, turkey jerky is a thought i wish i never had

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 18 September 2014 21:19 (eleven years ago)

I strictly fux with Oh Boy! Oberto

― The Reverend, Friday, 19 September 2014 08:59 (eleven years ago)

(fun fact: I live pretty much down the street from their factory)

― The Reverend, Friday, 19 September 2014 08:59 (eleven years ago)

does it smell like beef?

― ⌘-B (mh), Friday, 19 September 2014 13:15 (eleven years ago)

bravo...

http://www.clickhole.com/video/if-you-dont-think-you-have-any-racial-prejudices-y-1026

― scott seward, Friday, 19 September 2014 15:56 (eleven years ago)

Wow. Very Tim & Eric.

― Evan, Friday, 19 September 2014 16:04 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-summer-sequels-are-you-most-excited-see-thea-489

― Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Thursday, September 18, 2014 4:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This started out as the kind of thing that seemed like anyone could write, but got way funnier than I expected.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 19 September 2014 16:18 (eleven years ago)

Yeah, by the time it got to "U2 3D 2: U3 4D" I knew it was worth reading to the bottom.

― Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Friday, 19 September 2014 16:35 (eleven years ago)

There Will Be Blood 2: There Is Currently Blood

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 19 September 2014 16:44 (eleven years ago)

mmm

― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 19 September 2014 17:03 (eleven years ago)

most of the time when i try to watch a Clickhole video, it ends up showing me the ad twice and never gets to the actual video. very deep satire.

― some dude, Friday, 19 September 2014 17:32 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/internet-theory-suggests-all-pixar-fans-live-same--1015

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 18:34 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-reasons-we-love-scandal-not-we-need-justify-our--617

― Mordy, Tuesday, 23 September 2014 18:42 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/3302/original/640.jpg
I don't know why I love this one so much but I do

― Dokken played here for a Ribfest and people were total assholes (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 18:42 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-pure-are-you-take-our-purity-test-1059
http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-ridiculous-historical-stories-you-think-are-true-1052

successful day

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 20:46 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-women-what-bats-taste-and-most-them-di-1011

― 💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 20:47 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/can-you-complete-classic-movie-quote-952

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 20:51 (eleven years ago)

I could just become a Clickhole aggregator and die a happy man

― 💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 20:51 (eleven years ago)

nobody puts baby in a blender

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 20:53 (eleven years ago)

here's looking at you, shrek from shrek

― Mordy, Tuesday, 23 September 2014 21:00 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-had-put-end-it-how-one-college-lowered-its-sexu-753

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Wednesday, 24 September 2014 03:42 (eleven years ago)

ouch

― ⌘-B (mh), Wednesday, 24 September 2014 13:56 (eleven years ago)

xxp I actually chose correctly on the Casablanca one.

― bippity bup at the hotel california (Phil D.), Wednesday, 24 September 2014 14:08 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-deliberate-misspellings-1041

― lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 05:04 (eleven years ago)

its like theyre actually really funny

― lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 05:05 (eleven years ago)

Correct! Who could forget, in Taxi Driver, when De Niro looks at himself in the mirror and asks his reflection, “You talking to Sharby?” referring to a character who never actually appears in the film but is nonetheless referenced in this iconic scene.

dying

― lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 05:11 (eleven years ago)

actually laughed out loud at "Larminard Darzingargle"

― Untitled Female Spiderverse (silverfish), Thursday, 25 September 2014 12:11 (eleven years ago)

that is such a perfect string of syllables

― Untitled Female Spiderverse (silverfish), Thursday, 25 September 2014 12:12 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-ways-isis-can-reduce-its-carbon-footprint-1053

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:53 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-am-everywhere-1028

― 💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Thursday, 25 September 2014 16:04 (eleven years ago)

6. Too Many Phones: There’s one iPhone 6 in each box, prompting some people to complain that this is too many phones. But what was Apple supposed to do? Put zero phones in each box? That’s definitely not enough phones.

― lag∞n, Friday, 26 September 2014 03:33 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-dads-friends-you-should-drop-line-995

― schlump, Friday, 26 September 2014 05:27 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/you-dont-eat-coffee-heres-why-i-think-you-meant-sa-1089

― lag∞n, Friday, 26 September 2014 17:44 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-things-only-world-travelers-understand-1040

― hug niceman (psychgawsple), Friday, 26 September 2014 17:46 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-big-jazz-boy-or-little-jazz-boy-1081

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 26 September 2014 17:52 (eleven years ago)

3. How big does your body grow when you hear the Jazz unfolding?

lmao

― lag∞n, Friday, 26 September 2014 17:53 (eleven years ago)

all wonderful

― GhostTunes on my Pono (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 26 September 2014 18:14 (eleven years ago)

yeah that one is super good

― lag∞n, Friday, 26 September 2014 18:25 (eleven years ago)

that was definitely one of the more out things I have ever read on a brand-name internet site

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 26 September 2014 18:39 (eleven years ago)

It's a lot like the Big Bang Theory quiz. Yet another Tim & Eric style entry.

― Evan, Friday, 26 September 2014 18:49 (eleven years ago)

You love the sounds of Jazz! The oboes howling, “Yorb-yorb-yorb! Yorb-yorb-yorb!” The trumpets weeping, “Tursk! Tursk!”

― example (crüt), Friday, 26 September 2014 19:00 (eleven years ago)

Oh god, I actually died at that jazz one.

― emil.y, Friday, 26 September 2014 19:13 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/slideshow/quincy-jones-sometimes-989

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Friday, 26 September 2014 19:33 (eleven years ago)

I really loved the one about asking women what bat tasted like.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 26 September 2014 20:02 (eleven years ago)

Oh god, I actually died at that jazz one.

― emil.y, Friday, September 26, 2014 2:13 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

then you rose from the dead, to post to ILX.

― I dunno. (amateurist), Friday, 26 September 2014 20:26 (eleven years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ByfIOAACMAAQNQf.jpg

oh wow

― controversial but fabulous (I DIED), Friday, 26 September 2014 20:47 (eleven years ago)

lol

― Matt Armstrong, Friday, 26 September 2014 23:12 (eleven years ago)

I think that's Clickhole's second reference to Broderick having killed people.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 26 September 2014 23:38 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-famous-dogs-90s-are-definitely-dead-now-1080

― bippity bup at the hotel california (Phil D.), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 18:34 (eleven years ago)

i laughed at the '9 things only world travelers understand' one

but i laugh at all of them

clickhole.com so good

― ≖_≖ (Lamp), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 18:50 (eleven years ago)

Cruella de Vil isn’t the real villain of this movie—it’s time. Dalmatian inbreeding has left the entire species almost 30 percent deaf, along with genetic predispositions toward urinary stones and epilepsy. Combine that with the sheer number of dogs that appear in the film and the continuity requirements of replacing the rapidly maturing puppies with smaller newborns, and it’s likely that this film contains more dead dogs than any other from your childhood.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 18:58 (eleven years ago)

Fans knew the day would eventually come, and luckily, the show handled the finale with great care and thoughtfulness. After 365 days, Jack Bauer finally turned 25 in a small ceremony with his family and friends. The cake was delicious, and Jack closed the book on one hell of a year.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 21:10 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-perfect-series-finales-got-it-absolutely-right-1109

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 21:10 (eleven years ago)

jazz one is a masterpiece

― mattresslessness, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 21:59 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/we-get-some-kids-riled-pizza-and-then-leave-1091

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 22:14 (eleven years ago)

had to do the jazz one twice.

― Non-Stop Hongrotic Cabaret (dog latin), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 09:25 (eleven years ago)

Sometimes I wish I could hear some jazz that actually sounded like the descriptions in the poll.

― Larbo-larbo-larbo! (dog latin), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 10:09 (eleven years ago)

u can if u believe hard enough in jazz

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 20:25 (eleven years ago)

my glistening wife

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 20:54 (eleven years ago)

OMG:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/miracle-nature-meet-gorilla-who-keeps-declaring-i--933

― Darin, Thursday, 2 October 2014 16:39 (eleven years ago)

loll

― lag∞n, Thursday, 2 October 2014 16:42 (eleven years ago)

That one's the best.

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 2 October 2014 17:05 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-big-bang-theory-more-laughter-added-1132

This site is way more consistently good than I could have imagined

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 October 2014 17:13 (eleven years ago)

I think that's Clickhole's second reference to Broderick having killed people.

Considering that fact has been basically written out of his history for anyone under the age of 30, I applaud Clickhole for making sure it stays out there.

― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 2 October 2014 17:19 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-people-spider-their-face-are-tired-heari-809

nailed the use of gifs

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Thursday, 2 October 2014 17:19 (eleven years ago)

kinda beautiful...

http://www.clickhole.com/article/cast-cosby-show-then-now-and-forward-unto-eternity-1117

― scott seward, Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:12 (eleven years ago)

no raven simone no cred

― lag∞n, Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:13 (eleven years ago)

You probably thought Oliver was integral to The Brady Bunch too.

― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:14 (eleven years ago)

hey man oliver is good people

― lag∞n, Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:14 (eleven years ago)

omg no

― 💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:22 (eleven years ago)

I think that's Clickhole's second reference to Broderick having killed people.

Considering that fact has been basically written out of his history for anyone under the age of 30, I applaud Clickhole for making sure it stays out there.

― Johnny Fever, Thursday, October 2, 2014 10:19 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wait, that's not just a weird joke?

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:34 (eleven years ago)

only if u consider death a weird joke (it is)

― lag∞n, Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:35 (eleven years ago)

I see we have a Broderick denier in our midst

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:45 (eleven years ago)

oh wait nm it's true, damn

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:46 (eleven years ago)

I wonder if, when they go to sleep at night, SJP looks into his eyes and says "I love you" and he smiles and wistfully replies "I killed two people in a car accident in Ireland" and then they have sex.

― 💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:47 (eleven years ago)

that is making one part of my mind direct a scene the other part doesn't want to watch

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:48 (eleven years ago)

neigh

― i blow goat farts, aka garts for a living (waterface), Thursday, 2 October 2014 18:59 (eleven years ago)

Yeah, that it's true, I think, makes it funnier (if it can be funny) that they continue to mention it.

― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 2 October 2014 19:17 (eleven years ago)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jpmoore/12-celebrities-who-have-killed-people
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jpmoore/12-more-celebrities-who-have-killed-people

― kinder, Saturday, 4 October 2014 08:36 (eleven years ago)

Lesson learned: if you want to murder someone and get away with it, make it look like a car accident.

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Saturday, 4 October 2014 16:31 (eleven years ago)

also be famous

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 4 October 2014 20:12 (eleven years ago)

fwiw, some investigative work done by the daughter of Neil Boland, the chauffeur/bodyguard run over by Keith Moon:
http://del_pasado.tripod.com/keithmoonwasnotdriving/

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Saturday, 4 October 2014 20:25 (eleven years ago)

Is landis on that list

― lool at the herrlich (wins), Saturday, 4 October 2014 20:28 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-things-arthur-neglected-teach-us-about-life-1131

― the late great, Tuesday, 7 October 2014 05:42 (eleven years ago)

" We can’t rest until we see Damon as an alligator, tapir, and maybe even some kind of sentient moss."

― King Clone (Crabbits), Tuesday, 7 October 2014 16:15 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-things-only-people-your-state-understand-1126

Love this one as it touches on tier 2 small talk that pressures you to agree with bullshit that you know is interchangeable with almost any other human yet if you call it out you look like an ass. Not only in this sense but also when people say stuff like "I'm the kind of person that..." which usually follows with some extremely common preference / quirk / other cliche that makes them come off as dull when they're hoping to sound unique.

― Evan, Tuesday, 7 October 2014 17:06 (eleven years ago)

(that picture for #6 is Westfields in london. (or is it? that support tree with all the lights on it is identical, the things with maps on them are, the wallpaper by the lifts is, but somehow there's nothing that definitively nails it as the one in W12))

― koogs, Tuesday, 7 October 2014 17:39 (eleven years ago)

that article was inevitable

tbh i'm amazed at how many buzzfeed/upworthy/etc standards they haven't attempted yet

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 7 October 2014 19:46 (eleven years ago)

That one was an instant classic.

― Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 15:30 (eleven years ago)

you wonder if they're gonna run out of jokes since there's only so many things that these clickbait sites do

― iatee, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 15:40 (eleven years ago)

I feel like there are a lot of huffpo-baiting ones that they're working into now

― ⌘-B (mh), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 15:50 (eleven years ago)

the clickbait medium is always undergoing innovation

those horrible buzzfeed videos were huge

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 16:15 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/if-you-dont-think-you-have-any-racial-prejudices-y-1026

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 16:18 (eleven years ago)

lol. worth watching the video all the way through. they really nail the aesthetic of those kinds of youtube:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/chilling-did-singer-montell-jordan-predict-rise-is-1124?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― global tetrahedron, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 17:19 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-think-ive-gone-long-enough-without-looking-those-1069

there seems to be something very ilx about the interesection of subject matter and logical gymnastics on this one

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 17:33 (eleven years ago)

if clickhole decides to cannibalize the avclub style then it will have material for years to come

― Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 8 October 2014 17:39 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/when-fourth-grader-was-diagnosed-leukemia-he-never-1071

god help me but i did laugh out loud

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 10 October 2014 18:00 (eleven years ago)

lol

― lag∞n, Saturday, 11 October 2014 03:32 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-signs-hes-cheating-723

― sleepingbag, Monday, 13 October 2014 17:07 (eleven years ago)

looool

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 13 October 2014 17:26 (eleven years ago)

They are almost too good too often, like I feel dumb even sharing them since there are at least several great things every week.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 13 October 2014 17:26 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/post/definitive-ranking-us-presidents-how-many-their-bo-1179

― bippity bup at the hotel california (Phil D.), Monday, 13 October 2014 17:27 (eleven years ago)

“It’s the greatest moment in life when you hold that little bundle in your hands and think, ‘I made this!’”

—Ashton Kutcher

On bundling sticks

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 13 October 2014 17:29 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/just-tags-894

― koogs, Monday, 13 October 2014 17:34 (eleven years ago)

“Everywhere I go, people come up to me on the street and ask me if there’s going to be another one!”

—Mike Myers
On 9/11

They Said What? is consistently good.

― Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Monday, 13 October 2014 19:00 (eleven years ago)

The cheating one is briiiiiiilliant.

― Doctor Casino, Monday, 13 October 2014 22:19 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/drastic-times-man-never-makes-political-posts-face-1137

― scott seward, Monday, 13 October 2014 23:37 (eleven years ago)

man it's hard to not share that on fb

― chinavision!, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 01:21 (eleven years ago)

^This Man Never Makes Clickhole Posts On Facebook But He’s Making An Exception Just This Once

― anonanon, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 01:32 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/man-accidentally-took-photo-inside-his-pocket-ever-1199

― sweet lids of the stars (seandalai), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 19:16 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/literally-amazing-incredible-dad-loved-his-family--769

― cardamon, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 20:35 (eleven years ago)

deeply unsettling

― example (crüt), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 20:39 (eleven years ago)

man the pocket photo one is so good

― anonanon, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 20:45 (eleven years ago)

epic http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/big-red-horizon-my-journey-through-american-justic-938

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 21:23 (eleven years ago)

i know half of everything they post ends up itt but i appreciate the celebration anyway

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 22:28 (eleven years ago)

yeah i mean theyre doin good work, kudos

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 23:38 (eleven years ago)

last line of big red horizon is gold

― GhostTunes on my Pono (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 15 October 2014 00:18 (eleven years ago)

When I was finished with the free lobster, they offered me a wet napkin. I waved it away. I wanted to smell like free lobster forever.

― I dunno. (amateurist), Wednesday, 15 October 2014 04:30 (eleven years ago)

I liked that one but is it referencing a certain genre of clickbait I'm not familiar with or is it just a ridiculous, Jack Handey-esque story?

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 15 October 2014 16:16 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-things-everyone-experiences-when-they-go-through-1186

― Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 15 October 2014 16:22 (eleven years ago)

has anything on the internet had the quality + consistency of clickhole so far?

― Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 15 October 2014 16:23 (eleven years ago)

black anus

― example (crüt), Wednesday, 15 October 2014 16:26 (eleven years ago)

JUSTICE WOW LAW INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM FREE LOBSTER INSPIRING

― am0n, Wednesday, 15 October 2014 19:02 (eleven years ago)

It happens to everyone, and there is no escaping it. This is normal. Your body is a beautiful protean cage that transforms endlessly without your consent and renders you unrecognizable to yourself. Your body is a demented stranger who smothers you until you die. And this is perfectly natural.

fuck

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 15 October 2014 19:29 (eleven years ago)

1. What’s your perfect Friday night?

Dance club with my friends
Movie with my romantic partner
Anthill with my parents
Home with my ants

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 16 October 2014 17:26 (eleven years ago)

3. Your ideal romantic partner is...

...energetic, outgoing
...sedentary, teeming with ants
...intense, competitive
...antlike in appearance and demeanor

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 16 October 2014 17:26 (eleven years ago)

One of those that almost doesn't need anything but the headline: Meet The Puppeteer Behind Blue Ivy

― bippity bup at the hotel california (Phil D.), Thursday, 16 October 2014 17:47 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/finally-social-media-site-no-ads-pictures-words-co-1170

― polyphonic, Thursday, 16 October 2014 22:31 (eleven years ago)

nnngh is an all sonic, non-verbal social media site. It has no graphical interface.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, September 30, 2014 12:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 October 2014 13:51 (eleven years ago)

oh cmon

― lag∞n, Friday, 17 October 2014 15:51 (eleven years ago)

yeah my friend came up with the second puberty thing years ago as well.

― Shepard Toney Album (dog latin), Friday, 17 October 2014 15:53 (eleven years ago)

i invented the cloud

― lag∞n, Friday, 17 October 2014 15:53 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-know-sounds-spam-i-really-did-double-my-mass-two-1158

― sktsh, Friday, 17 October 2014 16:03 (eleven years ago)

Love this one

― Re-Make/Re-Model, Friday, 17 October 2014 16:05 (eleven years ago)

I only needed to do three 15-minute workouts a week in order to grow TOO LARGE for my own PARENTS TO RECOGNIZE ME. I think I MIGHT be DYING.

― lag∞n, Friday, 17 October 2014 17:04 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/mother-somehow-just-knows-when-her-child-fire-1175

I love these

― 💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Friday, 17 October 2014 17:10 (eleven years ago)

#children #moms #intuition #fire

― example (crüt), Friday, 17 October 2014 17:12 (eleven years ago)

They kinda ruined it by explicitly providing an example where the mother isn't in the same place as the son. I was enjoying the idea that her intuition was seeing/smelling her son on fire in plain sight.

― Evan, Friday, 17 October 2014 18:18 (eleven years ago)

yeah I agree that was a misfire but the kicker made me lol

― 💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Friday, 17 October 2014 18:33 (eleven years ago)

Article

This Woman Is Strong, Sexy, And Brave—Even If She Does Have Both Legs

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 October 2014 18:33 (eleven years ago)

the payoff at the end lol

http://www.clickhole.com/article/read-word-glen-200-times-row-and-youll-slowly-begi-1135

― am0n, Friday, 17 October 2014 18:54 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-dog-person-or-ant-person-1214

really love this one for some reason

― iatee, Friday, 17 October 2014 18:57 (eleven years ago)

cause it's hilarious

― Evan, Friday, 17 October 2014 19:04 (eleven years ago)

We’ve all been there—you’re watching a movie, and all of a sudden, you’re blindsided with an unbelievable plot twist. Here are the movies that had the most mind-blowing plot twists ever.

sometimes I think writing for this site might be pretty depressing

― rob, Friday, 17 October 2014 19:07 (eleven years ago)

omg can't stop laughing, ty iatee

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Friday, 17 October 2014 20:15 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/4583/16x9/800.jpg

JFC, just link everything.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 October 2014 20:29 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com

― evangelos (am0n), Monday, September 15, 2014 5:13 PM (1 month ago)

― am0n, Friday, 17 October 2014 20:42 (eleven years ago)

We’ll never forget this Christmas tale’s stunning and ironic twist, when Haley Joel Osment gives Bruce Willis the realization he is dead just as Willis gives Osment cufflinks emblazoned with “We’re Two Friends Who Are Both Alive.”

― you little affront to god (reddening), Friday, 17 October 2014 20:48 (eleven years ago)

2. Se7en
You could hear a pin drop in the theater during this thriller’s finale, when Brad Pitt’s character frantically opens the box he’s been given and inside finds a cake with a big number “7” written on it in frosting.

― lag∞n, Friday, 17 October 2014 22:12 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/here-are-finalists-our-caption-contest-1212

― lag∞n, Friday, 17 October 2014 22:15 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-know-sounds-spam-i-really-did-double-my-mass-two-1158

― sktsh, Friday, October 17, 2014 12:03 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

Very Good

― 龜, Saturday, 18 October 2014 01:24 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/teen-has-inspiring-message-his-bully-then-gets-tot-1236

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 20 October 2014 19:45 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-saved-bell-1215

This one is fun because you can link it on facebook and pick out who exactly hits "like" without clicking the link.

― Evan, Monday, 20 October 2014 20:10 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-signs-leah-remini-hiding-around-corner-waiting-t-893

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Monday, 20 October 2014 22:12 (eleven years ago)

Love the bully one.

― jmm, Monday, 20 October 2014 22:14 (eleven years ago)

“I’ve been really lucky.”
—Laura Linney
On why she’s still alive after a ghoul cursed her for touching an ancient locket

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 03:00 (eleven years ago)

irl lol

http://i.imgur.com/LKftKgX.png

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 03:46 (eleven years ago)

palestine usa

― schlump, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 03:48 (eleven years ago)

5. In the second Halloween episode, Slater teases Zack about his costume, saying he looks like…
Weird wind
Mark-Paul Gosselaar
A shame farmer
The real Mark-Paul Gosselaar

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 03:51 (eleven years ago)

What is Slater’s nickname for Zack?
Father
Son of Gosselaar
Other Shriek
The Bell
Correct! Slater calls Zack “The Bell,” because only he knows that Zack is secretly the man inside the bell.

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 03:51 (eleven years ago)

def calling someone a shame farmer as soon as the opportunity presents itself

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 03:53 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/terminally-ill-child-whatever-reason-wanted-be-vis-1110

― bippity bup at the hotel california (Phil D.), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 19:14 (eleven years ago)

Very funny but should have been Onion instead.

― Evan, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 19:16 (eleven years ago)

“It could definitely help the frogs. Or possibly hurt the frogs. Listen, I’m in a weird place right now.”
—Nate Silver
On a potential Jeb Bush presidential run

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 20:45 (eleven years ago)

1. We’ll start off with an easy one: What was the original title of the show before it became Saved By The Bell?
School Fuckers
Frasier
Up Late With Mark-Paul Gosselaar
There Is A Man In The Bell And It Hurts Him When It Rings

― scott seward, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 21:44 (eleven years ago)

that whole thing is great though.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 21:50 (eleven years ago)

scott!

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 22:53 (eleven years ago)

There Is A Man In The Bell And It Hurts Him When It Rings

this and like the jazz boy and the big bang bong stuff really seems...singular in its voice maybe? like possibly the work of one writer idk

― gbx, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 14:51 (eleven years ago)

^ melt banana song title

― koogs, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 14:52 (eleven years ago)

This one kind of nails it

http://www.clickhole.com/article/they-said-8-pictures-karl-malone-wouldnt-get-click-1225

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 14:57 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-female-ceos-who-inspire-us-all-be-cogs-capitalis-1242

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 16:34 (eleven years ago)

wow the gamergate piece

― caek, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 16:35 (eleven years ago)

i retook the SBTB quiz like 7 times to get all the different results

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 17:21 (eleven years ago)

they're really good at getting clicks

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 17:22 (eleven years ago)

They have different results?!

― Evan, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 17:26 (eleven years ago)

i mean letter grades?

sometimes the quizzes stick a lot of actual content in each answer blurb and that's when i get frustrated you can't change answers

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 17:45 (eleven years ago)

you can do a hard refresh of the page and take it again

― you little affront to god (reddening), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 17:55 (eleven years ago)

i know that's the frustrating part look i remember the internet 15 years ago i remember 56k i remember aol but I'M A BUSY MAN i have places to be

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 18:03 (eleven years ago)

do you actually

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 18:05 (eleven years ago)

no i'm unemployed

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 18:05 (eleven years ago)

man the expression on wite princess jasmine's face still cracks me up every time i scroll past

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 20:00 (eleven years ago)

(bagsy that for ilx avatar btw)

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 20:02 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/XFX3RWs.png

― lag∞n, Friday, 24 October 2014 14:46 (eleven years ago)

man the expression on wite princess jasmine's face still cracks me up every time i scroll past

― r|t|c, Wednesday, October 22, 2014 4:00 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes. Should be some kind of site mascot/avatar imo.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 24 October 2014 14:49 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/what-were-really-saying-when-we-make-fun-julia-rob-1270

fgfgjalfjaiojfda I'm crying

― 龜, Friday, 24 October 2014 21:19 (eleven years ago)

YES

― Pentenema Karten, Friday, 24 October 2014 21:21 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/classic-rock-without-all-talk-impossible-right-wro-810

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 24 October 2014 21:24 (eleven years ago)

Whoa! Just got cross-posted! That one is awesome.

― schwantz, Friday, 24 October 2014 21:25 (eleven years ago)

I mean, jeez, this site:

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-burrito-unboxing-1255

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 24 October 2014 21:26 (eleven years ago)

^Worth watching the whole thing.

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 24 October 2014 21:27 (eleven years ago)

i went to the avclub earlier and saw the Q&A piece "do you have anybody's autograph?" and i thought it was a clickhole quiz for a second.

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Friday, 24 October 2014 21:29 (eleven years ago)

"looked this up later: it's rice! :pp" haha

― prince moth mothy moth moth (cajunsunday), Friday, 24 October 2014 21:31 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/cry-1264

BREAK UR
DUCTS

― Walter MIDI (Crabbits), Saturday, 25 October 2014 15:47 (eleven years ago)

the sylvester stallone quote above kevin kline is my fav

― schlump, Saturday, 25 October 2014 17:23 (eleven years ago)

been thinking about "my velvets!" all day.

― you little affront to god (reddening), Sunday, 26 October 2014 03:31 (eleven years ago)

“It’s returning, stronger than ever…the craving to leak…!”
—Edward Snowden
On his leaking

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 27 October 2014 15:48 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/can-you-solve-these-4-brain-busting-riddles-1276

― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Monday, 27 October 2014 19:30 (eleven years ago)

This team of archaeologists gave us yet another reason to fucking love science when they made the ultimate discovery at a dig site in Tanzania’s Olduvai Gorge—their own fossilized remains!

― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 27 October 2014 22:39 (eleven years ago)

OMG I finally understand what all the panic is about now

http://www.clickhole.com/article/ebola-written-12-times-red-font-over-pictures-peop-1275

― StanM, Monday, 27 October 2014 23:01 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-surprising-origins-popular-sayings-1220

not their subtlest by any means but #3 did make me irl lol embarrassingly loud on the train recently

― r|t|c, Monday, 27 October 2014 23:19 (eleven years ago)

wheels w/in wheels

http://www.clickhole.com/article/fighting-back-cia-has-launched-brutal-isis-parody--1267

― sktsh, Tuesday, 28 October 2014 10:09 (eleven years ago)

I'm assuming it's the same person but whoever devised the Maze of Terror and the Jazz quizzes needs some sort of prize.

― Shepard Toney Album (dog latin), Tuesday, 28 October 2014 10:25 (eleven years ago)

http://www.abola.pt/

― intelligent, expressive males within the greater metropolitan (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 28 October 2014 10:38 (eleven years ago)

xp yes, I love how it's not only mocking US govt media psy-ops attempts, but also bad internet parodies and also bad internet writing COVERING bad internet parodies

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 28 October 2014 11:20 (eleven years ago)

That one (fake ISIS twitter) is amazing.

― schwantz, Tuesday, 28 October 2014 15:55 (eleven years ago)

alfredo sauce

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 28 October 2014 16:00 (eleven years ago)

ah fuck, dying again:
http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-struggles-only-people-resting-shriek-face-under-1185

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 28 October 2014 16:00 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-white-building-closely-1290

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 29 October 2014 22:14 (eleven years ago)

I've randomly started laughing about resting shriek face today 3-4 times. Probably need more sleep.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 29 October 2014 22:17 (eleven years ago)

I once saw a python unhinge its jaw and slowly swallow a New York City taxi whole. The taxi driver looked at me through the windshield and tearfully begged me to help him before the snake consumed him entirely, but I just stood where I was, looked him dead in the eyes, and shouted, “Hey, I’m walkin’ here!”

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 30 October 2014 19:08 (eleven years ago)

hahaha I can kind of guess what the article probably is without having seen it

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 October 2014 19:16 (eleven years ago)

hahaha yup

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 October 2014 19:16 (eleven years ago)

That quiz is KILLING me

― Evan, Thursday, 30 October 2014 19:19 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/all-time-best-college-fight-songs-1307

Dying at "Penn."

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 30 October 2014 19:21 (eleven years ago)

xpost

I'm trying to work out in my head what makes it so funny. Like if I were to attempt to explain why to my dad or something.

― Evan, Thursday, 30 October 2014 19:22 (eleven years ago)

You know all the subways, and you’ve drowned in all the rivers.

― you little affront to god (reddening), Thursday, 30 October 2014 19:53 (eleven years ago)

A scale replica of the Empire State Building once burst out of my father’s chest without warning, and the sound of me cheering drowned out the sound of him screaming.

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Thursday, 30 October 2014 19:56 (eleven years ago)

i think the mike myers one here might be the funniest thing they've ever done

http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/find-out-what-sigourney-weaver-dr-drew-and-mike-my-1125

― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Thursday, 30 October 2014 20:00 (eleven years ago)

I'm afraid to even listen to those fight songs right now at work

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 October 2014 20:01 (eleven years ago)

xp yes, I posted the mike myers one to my facebook

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 October 2014 20:02 (eleven years ago)

Mike Myers gag is amazing but I'm also a big fan of the Kevin Kline one

http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/find-out-what-sylvester-stallone-kevin-kline-and-s-1269

― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Thursday, 30 October 2014 20:20 (eleven years ago)

yeah, mike myers, kevin kline and breckin meyer are my favourites

― socki (s1ocki), Thursday, 30 October 2014 20:24 (eleven years ago)

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/366364/Screenshots/qqnz.png

― socki (s1ocki), Thursday, 30 October 2014 20:25 (eleven years ago)

My velvets!

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Thursday, 30 October 2014 20:27 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/find-out-what-kristen-stewart-stephen-king-and-j-c-1312

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 31 October 2014 15:03 (eleven years ago)

Clickhole really has a thing for skeletons

― Dokken played here for a Ribfest and people were total assholes (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 31 October 2014 16:02 (eleven years ago)

"Normal Catcher’s Mitt, Right? Wrong! It’s Cursed"

― koogs, Friday, 31 October 2014 16:21 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/what-celebrities-who-died-young-would-look-today-1306

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 31 October 2014 18:56 (eleven years ago)

Halloween Mode

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Friday, 31 October 2014 18:58 (eleven years ago)

these boo sounds are legitimately freaking out my cat

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 31 October 2014 19:08 (eleven years ago)

boo sounds are great when you play as many of them simultaneously as you can

― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Friday, 31 October 2014 19:09 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-famous-cats-1-selfie-you-must-see-pic-s-breaking-1273
and yes, it's being picked up by other clickholes http://www.mtv.com/news/1978542/cat-selfie/

― StanM, Saturday, 1 November 2014 12:32 (eleven years ago)

yeah i'm spending my saturday reading old They Said Whats shut up and i found this

http://s27.postimg.org/v1jp5ce4j/johngreeen.png

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 1 November 2014 22:40 (eleven years ago)

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/mikes-harder-and-clickhole-try-to-break-the-internet-with-celebri-cat-selfie-280677512.html

― GYBE ALFOTHAD download from mediafire - Type: .rar Size: 53.25 MB (unregistered), Saturday, 1 November 2014 22:58 (eleven years ago)

i'm a little horrified to learn that those are "real" "celebrity cats" that actually have been the subject of Buzzfeed articles like "The Future Is Here And Her Name Is Princess Monster Truck"

― some dude, Saturday, 1 November 2014 23:07 (eleven years ago)

Best quiz ever.

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/who-gives-fuck-1318

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 4 November 2014 00:12 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-incredible-stories-behind-your-favorite-beatles--1334

7. “I’ve Got A Feeling”: This song’s title is said to have come from a premonition the band had regarding Let It Be producer Phil Spector. Even more eerie is the song’s full working title, “I’ve Got A Feeling (That Phil Is Going To Kill A Woman)."

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 4 November 2014 18:53 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/its-weirdly-mesmerizing-watch-these-people-try-cat-1332

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 5 November 2014 14:53 (eleven years ago)

enjoyed this on halloween

http://www.clickhole.com/article/best-two-sentence-horror-stories-all-time-1314

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn. They were yours, you ghost baby."

― koogs, Wednesday, 5 November 2014 15:02 (eleven years ago)

and the fake Goosebumps books

"Normal Catcher’s Mitt, Right? Wrong! It’s Cursed"

― koogs, Wednesday, 5 November 2014 15:03 (eleven years ago)

yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-nihilistic-quotes-only-brilliant-misunderstood-y-1324

― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Wednesday, 5 November 2014 21:12 (eleven years ago)

i answered every qn as honestly as possible and was delighted to find out i was jenna's secret crush

― ≖_≖ (Lamp), Wednesday, 5 November 2014 21:29 (eleven years ago)

my guess is that answer is based solely on the cargo shorts

― caucasity and the sundance kid (goole), Wednesday, 5 November 2014 21:34 (eleven years ago)

haha no i picked the plaid skirt for that one

― ≖_≖ (Lamp), Wednesday, 5 November 2014 21:47 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/90s-kids-rejoice-spider-eggs-they-used-fill-beanie-1209

erleisjfleigelirj

― deej loaf (D-40), Wednesday, 5 November 2014 23:40 (eleven years ago)

you know what's weird about the '7 nihilistic quotes' one, is that i definitely always attributed No. 1 to DMX

― deej loaf (D-40), Wednesday, 5 November 2014 23:41 (eleven years ago)

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/beaniebabyspiders.asp

lol

― deej loaf (D-40), Thursday, 6 November 2014 00:02 (eleven years ago)

oh man Snopes finally abandoned their ridiculous JavaScript anti-copy-paste "security"

― Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Thursday, 6 November 2014 01:24 (eleven years ago)

Good catch. Thank freaking god.

― how's life, Thursday, 6 November 2014 10:23 (eleven years ago)

The beanie baby one caused much hilarity between me and my housemate last night because just that morning we'd opened one of the boxes of stuff my parents had brought round after 15 years in their attic (they're moving house and need to reunite me with my teenage junk-hoarding tendencies) and it contained a selection of beanie babies

the timing was just perfect, thank u clickhole

also this is a series of sweet life hacks which I must remember http://www.clickhole.com/article/what-do-after-job-interview-when-youre-standing-cl-1298

― club mate martyr (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 6 November 2014 11:29 (eleven years ago)

the photos for that one are so great

― john mortimer impression (soref), Thursday, 6 November 2014 11:36 (eleven years ago)

i loled at #7

― Neckbread (Will M.), Thursday, 6 November 2014 15:15 (eleven years ago)

I love the photo of him discovering the other interviewee in the closet

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 6 November 2014 15:16 (eleven years ago)

I wonder if photos on the site are posed by clickhole staff or by actors/models? or if a lot of the writers are ppl who do stand-up/improv/acting stuff anyway

― john mortimer impression (soref), Thursday, 6 November 2014 15:23 (eleven years ago)

Yeah I was wondering that too -- the bag-of-cheetos video was shot in a lot of different locations (including at least one international), don't know whether they just like get staffers who happen to be in different places to do it or what

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 6 November 2014 15:24 (eleven years ago)

http://www.fastcodesign.com/welcome.html?destination=http://www.fastcodesign.com/3033865/the-look-of-funny-how-the-onions-art-department-work

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Thursday, 6 November 2014 15:28 (eleven years ago)

You did bad

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/5272/1x1/200.jpg

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 November 2014 18:26 (eleven years ago)

ha i lol'd at that too

― you little affront to god (reddening), Thursday, 6 November 2014 18:30 (eleven years ago)

Only just noticed The Onion is behind Clickhole. There is something of a quality disparity between the two.

― the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Thursday, 6 November 2014 19:21 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/17-nom-nom-nom-nom-1337

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 6 November 2014 22:59 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/ready-feel-old-lunch-was-over-hour-ago-1350

Ugh, all the feels.

― ljubljana, Friday, 7 November 2014 00:07 (eleven years ago)

also 'too much time on ILX'

― kinder, Friday, 7 November 2014 00:08 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/90s-kids-rejoice-spider-eggs-they-used-fill-beanie-1209

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 7 November 2014 14:20 (eleven years ago)

Oh, posted already. Still funny!

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 7 November 2014 14:20 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-lyrics-hey-ya-1340

― kissaroo and Tyler, too (DJP), Friday, 7 November 2014 14:22 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/lies-all-couples-tell-each-other-1362 a+

― adam, Friday, 7 November 2014 14:29 (eleven years ago)

There are six of me

― 龜, Friday, 7 November 2014 14:32 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/5-foods-youve-been-eating-completely-wrong-1358

― scott seward, Friday, 7 November 2014 15:39 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-child-stars-who-grew-be-acclaimed-novelist-salma-1351

― lag∞n, Friday, 7 November 2014 16:34 (eleven years ago)

is the horse quiet?

― lag∞n, Friday, 7 November 2014 16:34 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/incredible-sleep-system-has-maximized-my-efficienc-1371

― sktsh, Friday, 7 November 2014 20:38 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/inspiring-teen-only-masturbates-pre-photoshopped-i-928

They shoulda posted this one on the Onion

But the headline/photo pairing is just too good

― 龜, Friday, 7 November 2014 20:41 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/anthropologists-are-verge-figuring-out-how-youre-supposed-to-read-tumblr-comments-1299

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Saturday, 8 November 2014 01:38 (eleven years ago)

so i shared the sleep system article with a friend of mine known for his odd complex sleep/exercise systems, and he posted it straight-faced to fb as "my sleep system" and lots of our mutual friends all apparently don't know a clickhole and were very confused

― everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Saturday, 8 November 2014 04:54 (eleven years ago)

I'm going to be laughing about Dr. Mundt for the rest of my life

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Saturday, 8 November 2014 05:36 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/toy-story-coming-back-and-time-andy-toy-1374

― example (crüt), Saturday, 8 November 2014 15:19 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/anthropologists-are-verge-figuring-out-how-youre-s-1299

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/5355/original/480.jpg

"She wants the h"

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Saturday, 8 November 2014 16:47 (eleven years ago)

Wondering if this is the inspiration for the ISIS Twitter article:

http://www.vocativ.com/world/isis-2/isis-jokes/?utm_campaign=November&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=outbrain

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 10 November 2014 20:39 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/37-dogs-guaranteed-brighten-your-day-1384

"This dog is making a total fool of himself."

― Walter MIDI (Crabbits), Monday, 10 November 2014 20:45 (eleven years ago)

FOR THE WIN!

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-photos-oppressed-people-striking-eyes-will-chang-1360

― scott seward, Monday, 10 November 2014 22:02 (eleven years ago)

I don't get the eyes one at all.

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 11 November 2014 12:36 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-pictures-french-stewart-will-leave-your-gash-sop-883

my god

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Tuesday, 11 November 2014 18:47 (eleven years ago)

holy fuck

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 11 November 2014 18:51 (eleven years ago)

lmao always love it when they go gross

― goole, Tuesday, 11 November 2014 19:06 (eleven years ago)

I don't get the eyes one at all.

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, November 11, 2014

it's exactly what it claims to be. and also a commentary. on something else.

― resulting post (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 12 November 2014 01:17 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/it-happened-me-i-was-howie-mandel-1363

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 12 November 2014 02:13 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-wu-tang-affiliated-rappers-are-you--1402

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 12 November 2014 20:17 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/fall-love-sam-smiths-stay-me-all-over-again-beauti-1400

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 12 November 2014 21:04 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/might-not-be-politically-correct-enough-you-overly-1411

― ciderpress, Thursday, 13 November 2014 16:41 (eleven years ago)

^^^ soooooooooo good

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, 13 November 2014 16:44 (eleven years ago)

heh, that one's definitely by the jazz-boy guy.

― joni mitchell jarre (dog latin), Thursday, 13 November 2014 16:59 (eleven years ago)

ha I was just coming here with that

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Thursday, 13 November 2014 16:59 (eleven years ago)

heh, that one's definitely by the jazz-boy guy.

― joni mitchell jarre (dog latin), Thursday, November 13, 2014 10:59 AM (1 minute ago)

dog latin 100% certain the author is a man

― ✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Thursday, 13 November 2014 17:01 (eleven years ago)

that article was written by Uranus

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Thursday, 13 November 2014 17:03 (eleven years ago)

so good

― goole, Thursday, 13 November 2014 17:12 (eleven years ago)

someone just asked on Facebook "I'm not sure what Clickhole is but is this article supposed to be stupid?"

I fucking love this site

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Thursday, 13 November 2014 17:17 (eleven years ago)

This supposed "jazz-boy guy" is likely an Eric Wareheim fan if it is indeed the same writer.

― Evan, Thursday, 13 November 2014 17:33 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-kittens-god-forbid-could-be-used-prop-wobbly-tab-1364

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Thursday, 13 November 2014 17:41 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/dog-time-traveler-1359

so dumb and so great

― anonanon, Thursday, 13 November 2014 21:30 (eleven years ago)

dying @ this
http://www.clickhole.com/video/if-black-people-said-things-my-doctor-says-1414

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 13 November 2014 21:31 (eleven years ago)

God-defying stunts performed ceaselessly for your amazement, the likes of which have never been attempted on the World Wide Web!

― sktsh, Friday, 14 November 2014 14:17 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/lips-1405

― scott seward, Friday, 14 November 2014 18:49 (eleven years ago)

demented:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-reasons-we-are-excited-dad-come-back-life-1408

― scott seward, Friday, 14 November 2014 18:51 (eleven years ago)

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Friday, 14 November 2014 18:52 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-astronomy-nerd-1407

this doesn't feel like the jazz quiz person so i guess "be real weird about space" was one of clickhole's weekly objectives.

― you little affront to god (reddening), Friday, 14 November 2014 21:35 (eleven years ago)

Keep studying the stars, and one day you might become a real starfucker.

― r|t|c, Saturday, 15 November 2014 19:24 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/when-familys-dog-went-missing-they-didnt-know-what-1375

dayumn

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:14 (eleven years ago)

“The Hulk could beat up Iron Man, but Superman could beat up the Hulk.”
—Joan Didion On her most deeply held belief

― cerebral caustic window (cajunsunday), Monday, 17 November 2014 18:41 (eleven years ago)

www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-dont-see-minorities-1429

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 17 November 2014 21:56 (eleven years ago)

“Okay guys, you’ve made your point. You can let me out now.”
—Jerry Sandusky
On redemption

― never say goodbye before leaving chat room (Crabbits), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 01:03 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/1nGUUq6.png

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 18:06 (eleven years ago)

This one's for Morbs: http://www.clickhole.com/article/goodnight-sweet-prince-beloved-baseball-monster-mr-1419

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 18:56 (eleven years ago)

"You're shooting T-Shirts at God now" yesssssss

― Abstinence Hawk (frogbs), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 19:00 (eleven years ago)

5. Cliffs, cliffs, cliffs!: Cliffs are in right now, so make sure to get married on a cliff and snap up one of those in-demand cliff preachers (if you can!).

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 20:15 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/5686/original/640.jpg

http://www.clickhole.com/article/finally-emoji-expresses-pain-getting-older-and-rea-1406

― Plasmon, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 22:42 (eleven years ago)

That's actually a useful emoticon!

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 22:53 (eleven years ago)

me irl

― ✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Thursday, 20 November 2014 15:39 (eleven years ago)

died @ this one

http://www.clickhole.com/article/why-we-yawn-1208

Research has also provided answers to many other questions pertaining to yawns. For instance, if you’ve ever wondered why yawns are so contagious, it’s because ghosts have two hands and will stick their hands in multiple mouths at the same time whenever possible.

― k3vin k., Thursday, 20 November 2014 17:35 (eleven years ago)

generally p good but #1 is a bomb

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-awesomely-offbeat-ideas-your-nontraditional-wed-1442

1. Make your wedding all about you: Why invite a bunch of worthless guests when it’s supposed to be your day? Get married in front of row after row of mannequins that look like you, and play videos of you saying how beautiful you look.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 November 2014 17:41 (eleven years ago)

"When Peter Jackson gets that crazed look in his eyes and starts stomping his feet, you know you’re about to be transported to a world of pain"

could be easily applied to the Hobbit thread

― Dokken played here for a Ribfest and people were total assholes (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:07 (eleven years ago)

When Lance And Blake was born, I wanted to name him Ryan and my huge beautiful wife wanted to name him Kyle, so we compromised by giving him two names that neither of us liked. Now, he makes our days sour and our nights rancid. He is a True Nightmare of a garbage son.

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:38 (eleven years ago)

Invited your nice dad to Career Day at your school, where you told your classmates that his job was “trying to bring Osama bin Laden back to life” and that he did that job for free because he was “in it for the love of the game,” even though your nice dad’s real job is “air traffic controller”

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:42 (eleven years ago)

What did you get your nice dad for his worst, most recent birthday?
A T-shirt with your nice dad’s face on the front and the words “Saab Owners Die Angry” on the back

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:43 (eleven years ago)

dying... irl

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:45 (eleven years ago)

Lmao

Who is this mysterious CH writer who penned the jazz, space SJW aarticle and now this one? Free her

― 龜, Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:48 (eleven years ago)

i have an idea ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Saunders

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:51 (eleven years ago)

You love doing terrible things to my wonderful car and you wear shirts with curse words on them.

Guilty... as... charged...

― 龜, Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:52 (eleven years ago)

That "Which One Of My Garbage Sons Are You?" poll is like something the National Lampoon would have run in its glory days. Amazing.

― Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:52 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/what-does-it-mean-be-man-1460

I can't

― 龜, Thursday, 20 November 2014 19:21 (eleven years ago)

this website is impossibly good

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 19:26 (eleven years ago)

yeah it's just instant classics every day, can imagine that having a totally new game to play unleashed a lot of great stuff for the writers

― ambergris shmambergris (silby), Thursday, 20 November 2014 19:29 (eleven years ago)

You know that "would you click this pic even if we tell you its only nature footage" ?

I thought, hellyeah I like nature footage.

I didn't have the sound on, something suitably satirical, I'm guessing.

― Mark G, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:07 (eleven years ago)

It feels like a real antidote to the awfulness and insanity of all the *new* sub-mediums and sub-genres that the internet has wrought on us, very cathartic, like finally acknowledging something crazy about your parents with your sibling as adults

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:09 (eleven years ago)

the biblical repetition in the garbage son one is so good

― goole, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:10 (eleven years ago)

new dn to celebrate my quiz result, though honestly i find myself relating more to Lance And Blake and their penchant for bone crimes.

― the dreaded Laramie (reddening), Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:11 (eleven years ago)

hurting that 'lies couples tell each other' video reminds me of your exorcist thread. first too many cooks and now this

― imago, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:17 (eleven years ago)

oh man, forgot about that. She rarely does stuff like that anymore -- she'll occasionally say stuff in her sleep but it's much more benign.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:22 (eleven years ago)

Who is this mysterious CH writer who penned the jazz, space SJW aarticle and now this one? Free her

― 龜, Thursday, November 20, 2014 1:48 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

new theory its @dril, reason why @dril is bad now is cause they took a job at clickhole and turned the twitter over to someone else

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:41 (eleven years ago)

95% sure this is correct

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:42 (eleven years ago)

lol K asked be the other day "Are you a big boy daddy?" and my mind inserted the word "jazz" into the question.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:45 (eleven years ago)

Where?

― Mark G, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:47 (eleven years ago)

dril is still good!

― goole, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:58 (eleven years ago)

no dril is bad now

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:59 (eleven years ago)

Where?

― Mark G, Thursday, November 20, 2014 3:47 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Are you a big boy daddy jazz?"

― Evan, Thursday, 20 November 2014 21:02 (eleven years ago)

I only read the dril tweets that make it to tumblr so he's still good imo

― 龜, Thursday, 20 November 2014 21:03 (eleven years ago)

def a different writer than before tho regardless, tho its possible dril has been a team all along and just some of the team turned over

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 21:05 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/DBIyWAP.gif

― ✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Thursday, 20 November 2014 21:11 (eleven years ago)

evidence

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 21:11 (eleven years ago)

Whew!

― Mark G, Thursday, 20 November 2014 21:14 (eleven years ago)

The garbage sons thing is fucking amazing

― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 20 November 2014 21:45 (eleven years ago)

my huge beautiful wife

― ✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Thursday, 20 November 2014 21:47 (eleven years ago)

lord grummond

― am0n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 22:02 (eleven years ago)

“If you can hear this, you’re telepathic.”

― am0n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 22:16 (eleven years ago)

Lance And Blake and their penchant for bone crimes.

"their"?

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 20 November 2014 22:16 (eleven years ago)

dril is so excellent lagoon please

― schlump, Thursday, 20 November 2014 22:17 (eleven years ago)

Truly, Preston is the Gutter Prince and knowing about him makes me tired.

― 龜, Thursday, 20 November 2014 22:17 (eleven years ago)

https://twitter.com/dril/status/515471055587405824

― schlump, Thursday, 20 November 2014 22:18 (eleven years ago)

“Ideally, I’d end the conference, people would go home, and then that night, I’d show up in their dreams to introduce our new helmet or glove or whatever it is.”
—Tim Cook
On the perfect announcement

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 November 2014 22:19 (eleven years ago)

nu dril is mediocre at best a shadow of his former self disappointed in u guys for not noticing

― lag∞n, Thursday, 20 November 2014 22:33 (eleven years ago)

"their"?

i am ashamed by my error, truly i am the most garbage of sons

― the dreaded Laramie (reddening), Friday, 21 November 2014 00:58 (eleven years ago)

Can't explain why this is so good

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/where-did-these-daddies-go-1474

― I am using your worlds, Friday, 21 November 2014 21:54 (eleven years ago)

hahaha omg

― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 21 November 2014 21:59 (eleven years ago)

wow grow up guys

― lag∞n, Friday, 21 November 2014 22:01 (eleven years ago)

can't get over THE DREADED LARAMIE

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 21 November 2014 22:10 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/my-double-life-internet-comment-1472

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 21 November 2014 22:51 (eleven years ago)

can't get over THE DREADED LARAMIE

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, November 21, 2014 3:10 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― mattresslessness, Friday, 21 November 2014 23:14 (eleven years ago)

i took that quiz just now and my wife was like "you're taking that one?" and i was like well i have to know if i'm the dreaded Laramie

― nakhchi little van (some dude), Friday, 21 November 2014 23:46 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/5767/16x9/640.jpg

― schlump, Sunday, 23 November 2014 17:59 (eleven years ago)

shades of falconhoof to this one
http://f.cl.ly/items/0W2Q003H160w1q363r0d/clickhole.png

― sktsh, Tuesday, 25 November 2014 12:13 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/it-happened-me-nick-took-over-my-school-and-wouldn-1490?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

Soon, kids were eating Gak and Floam. We were only allowed to bathe in orange soda or chocolate sauce. Everyone was getting sick. We thought it would never end. We thought Nick had taken over our lives. We didn’t know how long we would last. And, finally, we gave up hope.

Then on June 12, 1998, eight months and 17 days later, the National Guard stormed our elementary school and removed Nickelodeon from the premises. It was over. The government killed all of the Nickelodeon characters with guns and grenades, but their stain would forever discolor the minds of all who lived in Morning Day Elementary under their despotic reign.

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 18:21 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/5832/1x1/200.jpg

― the dreaded Laramie (reddening), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 18:49 (eleven years ago)

this had me crying with laughter: http://www.clickhole.com/video/inspirational-deaf-woman-hears-music-first-time-1491

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 19:21 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-12-vegetarians-draw-picture-turkey-and-wh-1488

― scott seward, Friday, 28 November 2014 19:52 (eleven years ago)

http://www.poynter.org/news/mediawire/305021/buzzfeed-hires-clickholes-daniel-kibblesmith/

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 1 December 2014 22:38 (eleven years ago)

internet eats itself

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 1 December 2014 22:39 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/oh-man-10-full-minutes-kissing-nice-1444

― Kooki-Wan Tanooki (Hurting 2), Monday, 1 December 2014 22:47 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/and-now-starting-lineup-your-chicago-bulls-1355

the song is a nice touch

― never say goodbye before leaving chat room (Crabbits), Tuesday, 2 December 2014 02:50 (eleven years ago)

The Mario is the vector and you are a dream forever enclosed!

― the dreaded Laramie (reddening), Tuesday, 2 December 2014 04:59 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/daily-habits-5-highly-successful-people-1506

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 2 December 2014 06:28 (eleven years ago)

jazzboy author sighting? http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-deep-your-love-beautiful-super-mario-how-endle-1455

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Tuesday, 2 December 2014 22:23 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/weird-things-all-guys-do-when-women-arent-around-1478

― lag∞n, Thursday, 4 December 2014 22:08 (eleven years ago)

maleness

― gr8080, Thursday, 4 December 2014 22:22 (eleven years ago)

Watch the stone. Protect the stone. Never let the stone out of sight.

― Bro With Extensive Taint (some dude), Thursday, 4 December 2014 22:30 (eleven years ago)

omg of course

https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/photos_stream

― gr8080, Thursday, 4 December 2014 22:31 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-lyrics-fresh-prince-bel-air-t-1537

i love the little alternate universes conjured up by these dumb quizzes.

― the dreaded Laramie (reddening), Thursday, 4 December 2014 22:36 (eleven years ago)

That one has me cracking up! What's with all of the long teeth material?!

― schwantz, Friday, 5 December 2014 05:53 (eleven years ago)

@dril

― lag∞n, Friday, 5 December 2014 19:35 (eleven years ago)

dying at "I got in one little fight/And my mom got in one little fight"

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Friday, 5 December 2014 19:39 (eleven years ago)

Clickhole's loving embrace of non sequitur is quickly propelling it ahead of the Onion proper in my esteem.

― Hamhole and Fly Eyes (Old Lunch), Friday, 5 December 2014 19:45 (eleven years ago)

Is it definitely dril?

― sktsh, Friday, 5 December 2014 20:56 (eleven years ago)

according to me

― lag∞n, Friday, 5 December 2014 20:57 (eleven years ago)

sold!

― sktsh, Friday, 5 December 2014 20:57 (eleven years ago)

lag∞n definitely keeps saying it's dril

― goole, Friday, 5 December 2014 20:58 (eleven years ago)

if u dont believe me just check this thread

― lag∞n, Friday, 5 December 2014 20:59 (eleven years ago)

"My eyes fill with my own blood as cash pours from the brick". shit. never gonna be able to play a mario game again

― Merdeyeux, Friday, 5 December 2014 21:08 (eleven years ago)

xp tbh in my head you are ilx ambassador to weird twitter. not inconceivable to me that dril confessed all over a tray of rochers at a reception in tashkent

― sktsh, Friday, 5 December 2014 21:09 (eleven years ago)

Still laughing at that "fiddle-dee-dee" quizmaster one. "I have defeated you with riddle magic!"

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Friday, 5 December 2014 21:10 (eleven years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B4HmK2aIAAA9206.jpg

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 5 December 2014 22:24 (eleven years ago)

“Stop trying to make me feel shame for my pride,” Cheryl says. “I’m proud of this pride, and I’m not going to feel ashamed of my pride. Shaming me isn’t going to shame the proud pride of which I am so proud. The only shame I feel about my pride is that I don’t take more proud pride in my pride. And I’m proud of that pride because I’m proud that I’m so proud of my pride that I can feel ashamed that my pride pride isn’t more proud than it could be. Shame on you if you shame my proud shame-pride. Maybe if you had proud pride you wouldn’t pride-shame my shame-pride.”

― scott seward, Friday, 5 December 2014 23:10 (eleven years ago)

^this seems of a piece with the Incredible Sleep System one. I feel like there are at least two really distinctive writers on CH staff. The person who wrote these mazes of nonsense imo could be behind the syntactical frenzy of the jazz poll/the bong bong theory/"There is a Man in the Bell" & even all the planets are bouncing boys. Whereas I feel like there's an altogether different sensibility behinf garbage sons, second puberty, how new york are you, Beyonce/Susan B Anthony and even maybe one weird trick to doubling my body mass...

― aenaon genesis aevangelist (Drugs A. Money), Saturday, 6 December 2014 22:58 (eleven years ago)

(Note: I just binge-read a bunch of these...)

― aenaon genesis aevangelist (Drugs A. Money), Saturday, 6 December 2014 22:59 (eleven years ago)

Maybe both George Saunders and @dril are on staff...?

― aenaon genesis aevangelist (Drugs A. Money), Saturday, 6 December 2014 23:13 (eleven years ago)

Well this made me curious about how many writers there actually are. Quite a few!
http://www.theonion.com/contact/

― Øystein, Saturday, 6 December 2014 23:26 (eleven years ago)

Editorial Coordinator Anthony Easton

wait

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Sunday, 7 December 2014 00:39 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/0G1gvve.png

― gr8080, Sunday, 7 December 2014 02:16 (eleven years ago)

Confident in saying that I think Clickhole has peaked and there are some bad articles on the site now

This one is good and recent though http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-common-fears-haunt-you-constantly-1515

― 龜, Sunday, 7 December 2014 02:49 (eleven years ago)

the "quizmaster" one is kind of a misfire

― goole, Monday, 8 December 2014 23:09 (eleven years ago)

fucking died at "Drinking even one tea that doesn’t soothe you"

― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 8 December 2014 23:20 (eleven years ago)

irl

Giving up a grand slam to John Wayne Gacy Jr.

― lag∞n, Monday, 8 December 2014 23:24 (eleven years ago)

lol that one also hit

― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 9 December 2014 00:00 (eleven years ago)

Watching the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume at Disney World take his head off and seeing a smaller Mickey Mouse head underneath

^^legit terrifying

― gr8080, Tuesday, 9 December 2014 00:20 (eleven years ago)

Several of these I found nightmarish.

― Frederik B, Tuesday, 9 December 2014 00:40 (eleven years ago)

the content of the quizmaster one isn't my favorite, but the picture + headline makes me laugh every time it shows up in the sidebar.

― the dreaded Laramie (reddening), Tuesday, 9 December 2014 01:42 (eleven years ago)

Confident in saying that I think Clickhole has peaked and there are some bad articles on the site now

This one is good and recent though http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-common-fears-haunt-you-constantly-1515

ok some of those were hilarious

― gbx, Tuesday, 9 December 2014 05:27 (eleven years ago)

you are a slave to fear. Awesome!

― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 9 December 2014 06:18 (eleven years ago)

the super mario

― (曇り) (clouds), Tuesday, 9 December 2014 07:02 (eleven years ago)

DO NOT PUB

― the dreaded Laramie (reddening), Thursday, 11 December 2014 13:51 (eleven years ago)

feel like they could've done a lot more than that. like, a bieber obit at least. maybe something messed up like 'hitler: a new perspective' except not lame.

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 11 December 2014 13:57 (eleven years ago)

that was perfect

Read this: don’t pub. Read instead of pub. Anything but pub.

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 11 December 2014 14:16 (eleven years ago)

kept waiting for the lovecraftian twist

― Mordy, Thursday, 11 December 2014 14:21 (eleven years ago)

It's now the monster mash..

― Mark G, Thursday, 11 December 2014 14:45 (eleven years ago)

do not pub works like a seinfeld episode: keep repeating the phrase until it wears you down and just gets funnier

― Evan, Thursday, 11 December 2014 15:19 (eleven years ago)

TKTKTK

― (曇り) (clouds), Thursday, 11 December 2014 15:30 (eleven years ago)

NOT READY FOR FAMOUS

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 11 December 2014 15:42 (eleven years ago)

Amazing! TKTK proves there’s still good in the world.

― lag∞n, Thursday, 11 December 2014 15:44 (eleven years ago)

that's hilarious.

― cerebral caustic window (cajunsunday), Thursday, 11 December 2014 16:22 (eleven years ago)

best one so far for me
http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-american-television-shows-started-england-1559

― jamiesummerz, Thursday, 11 December 2014 16:52 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/beautiful-heres-what-muppets-would-look-women-colo-1577

― salthigh, Thursday, 11 December 2014 16:59 (eleven years ago)

I really shouldn't read this site at work.

6. Modern Family

Based on the British sitcom And Jeffrey Makes Eleven.

The Emmy-winning American sitcom can trace its origins back to the hallowed British comedy And Jeffrey Makes Eleven, a show about an unconventional family consisting of eight parents and three children. Every member of the family was 45 years old. The show ran for one episode, which was 23 seconds long. It is generally considered one of the greatest programs in the history of British television.

The show returned briefly for an hour-long Christmas special titled “And Eight More Jeffries Make Nineteen,” in which the eight parents all become pregnant via Immaculate Conception and give virgin births at the same time to eight grown men named Jeffrey. They are all 45 years old.

― Monarch of the Murder Chair (Old Lunch), Thursday, 11 December 2014 17:08 (eleven years ago)

It's a little "big-bottomed birds" but funny in places. Does also make me thank god that our series lengths aren't as fucking interminable as American ones, and yet you all think it's not just normal but desirable to have 365 24-hour long episodes in a season.

This, to be fair, is pretty much the pinnacle of British television:

Fans of the show also got to enjoy an hour-long Christmas special in which Santa Claus sits silently in the pub and gets drunk alone.

― emil.y, Thursday, 11 December 2014 17:19 (eleven years ago)

watching an ad on hulu for x-files and realizing that it was NINE seasons long....ugh...over 200 episodes. unreal.

― scott seward, Thursday, 11 December 2014 18:04 (eleven years ago)

Might need to make this my new desktop.

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/6293/original/640.jpg

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Thursday, 11 December 2014 18:09 (eleven years ago)

I would def watch The Marvelous Mr. Pemberton

― Merdeyeux, Thursday, 11 December 2014 19:13 (eleven years ago)

https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/t31.0-8/10818403_1528801730693421_670143135257202706_o.jpg

― lag∞n, Friday, 12 December 2014 00:25 (eleven years ago)

4. Cheers

The popular American sitcom was an adaptation of the British show If It’s Not Custard, It’s Mustard, which takes place entirely in a run-down London pub and is set during World War I and World War II at the same time. The name of the show is a popular British proverb that essentially means, “If it’s not one thing, then it’s a different thing that rhymes with the first thing.”

― lag∞n, Friday, 12 December 2014 00:30 (eleven years ago)

This Prescription Should Have Lasted You Two More Weeks, Charlie Brown

― gr8080, Friday, 12 December 2014 00:39 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/5967/original/640.jpg

― Plasmon, Friday, 12 December 2014 07:02 (eleven years ago)

oh man oh man...

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/will-hanukkah-consume-you-1600

― scott seward, Friday, 12 December 2014 22:25 (eleven years ago)

Yes, all deep into the history of my bones, Candle Fever has made my ancestors go bonkers and do Candle Mischief all throughout the black night of Hanukkah for centuries, and the movie Bonkers Candle Ancestors is about them.

― scott seward, Friday, 12 December 2014 22:26 (eleven years ago)

The Grand Pancake, the endless sizzling nightmare who comes from the dirt and was born before God.

― scott seward, Friday, 12 December 2014 22:27 (eleven years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/6364/1x1/300.jpg

Tornado Queen. The bonkers asshole who spins.

― scott seward, Friday, 12 December 2014 22:27 (eleven years ago)

lool

― lag∞n, Friday, 12 December 2014 22:37 (eleven years ago)

Yes

― 龜, Friday, 12 December 2014 23:02 (eleven years ago)

so consistently good

― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 12 December 2014 23:19 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/CLPFbRY.png

― lag∞n, Friday, 12 December 2014 23:29 (eleven years ago)

hahaha yes

― gbx, Saturday, 13 December 2014 03:16 (eleven years ago)

I really shouldn't read this site at work.

6. Modern Family

Based on the British sitcom And Jeffrey Makes Eleven.

The Emmy-winning American sitcom can trace its origins back to the hallowed British comedy And Jeffrey Makes Eleven, a show about an unconventional family consisting of eight parents and three children. Every member of the family was 45 years old. The show ran for one episode, which was 23 seconds long. It is generally considered one of the greatest programs in the history of British television.

The show returned briefly for an hour-long Christmas special titled “And Eight More Jeffries Make Nineteen,” in which the eight parents all become pregnant via Immaculate Conception and give virgin births at the same time to eight grown men named Jeffrey. They are all 45 years old.

― Monarch of the Murder Chair (Old Lunch), Thursday, December 11, 2014 12:08 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok i can't breathe

― k3vin k., Saturday, 13 December 2014 18:34 (eleven years ago)

Every member of the family was 45 years old.

have always thought this about Mama's Family

― (曇り) (clouds), Saturday, 13 December 2014 18:39 (eleven years ago)

that one is great

don't see it as mocking uk series lengths so much as bores who go on about how the british model is CLEARLY SUPERIOR to american seasons (because some hallowed piece of shit only ran for 12 eps + oblig xmas spesh)

― tl:dr, gukbar, morbis detrius (wins), Saturday, 13 December 2014 18:45 (eleven years ago)

I was surprised to learn that these xmas specials actually air on xmas day. But I guess that's what makes them special and not just an xmas themed ep.

― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 13 December 2014 19:15 (eleven years ago)

I thought only the Office had an xmas special

― 龜, Saturday, 13 December 2014 19:17 (eleven years ago)

Downton Abbey is most popular xmas special as far as I can tell

― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 13 December 2014 19:21 (eleven years ago)

xp the gervais sitcoms were what I was thinking of when I said that but there are plenty of others

― tl:dr, gukbar, morbis detrius (wins), Saturday, 13 December 2014 19:42 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-dumbest-criminals-all-time-1532

― cardamon, Saturday, 13 December 2014 19:44 (eleven years ago)

Hanukkah one has made me retract my multiple-authir theory

― wonderful about a proletariat-Vorticist version of James Brown (Drugs A. Money), Sunday, 14 December 2014 03:11 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-actors-who-were-discovered-chance-1594

the first time I looked at this they had the harrison ford and jon hamm picures switched. I assumed it was on purpose, but I guess not since they fixed it. I think they should have just kept it.

also:

Steven Spielberg was attempting to shoot his first documentary, Jade Mysteries: Our Planet’s Jungles, when an unknown man carrying a whip ran on set, grabbing as many things as he could find and screaming, “These belong in a museum!” Spielberg saw something special, and spliced all his jungle footage together with the stranger’s screaming in order to transform Jade Mysteries into Raiders Of The Lost Ark.

― iatee, Sunday, 14 December 2014 07:35 (eleven years ago)

seems crazy that Fawlty had no Xmas spesh.

― piscesx, Sunday, 14 December 2014 10:47 (eleven years ago)

fawlty is where the 12 eps meme originates but it is not a piece of shit it is a v good situation comedy but it would have been better if they'd made more eps but I guess they just weren't up to it

― tl:dr, gukbar, morbis detrius (wins), Sunday, 14 December 2014 11:35 (eleven years ago)

sorry for OT

― tl:dr, gukbar, morbis detrius (wins), Sunday, 14 December 2014 11:35 (eleven years ago)

the "12 eps and a christmas special" thing is just Gervais repeating over and over that what he does is the perfect way of doing things, and Americans listening to the narcissistic awareness-vortex

see the Talking Funny special where the four comics are talking about how long their sets are and how they work them up gradually in clubs in front of audiences and he's all "UGH how could you possibly go in front of people who won't think your jokes are good before you say them?" and Louis CK says "I do about an hour and a half" and Gervais goes "what??" and Rock says "I can go two hours if the crowd's good" and Gervais goes "are you mental?" and Seinfeld says "I guess I do about 70 minutes" and Gervais explodes "EXACTLY! Exactly! That's what I do, yes"

― Gland Of Horses (sic), Sunday, 14 December 2014 11:50 (eleven years ago)

I can't watch those things, he's just unbearable. And doesn't know shit about comedy!

Sorry I'm preaching to the choir & shitting up thread I'll shut up

― tl:dr, gukbar, morbis detrius (wins), Sunday, 14 December 2014 12:58 (eleven years ago)

im sure their must be some thread where u all can talk about how many episodes there are in a season of tv shows

― lag∞n, Sunday, 14 December 2014 15:40 (eleven years ago)


seems crazy that Fawlty had no Xmas spesh.

― piscesx, Sunday, 14 December 2014 10:47 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fawlty is where the 12 eps meme originates but it is not a piece of shit it is a v good situation comedy but it would have been better if they'd made more eps but I guess they just weren't up to it

― tl:dr, gukbar, morbis detrius (wins), Sunday, 14 December 2014 11:35 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A couple of the episodes aren't that great - they have their moments, but.

― Mark G, Monday, 15 December 2014 14:40 (eleven years ago)

2. What Christmas mantra do you say over and over every day at sundown until you are dismissed?

“Follow the star, retrieve the baby. Follow the star, retrieve the baby.”
“The breath of Donner sustains me; I breathe it every day.”
“No Enemy shall prosper; my Christmas is too strong.”
“I’m a good little Christmas slut; I live in a good little Christmas hut.”

― scott seward, Tuesday, 16 December 2014 16:27 (eleven years ago)

I like that the Christmas one doesn't just feel like an attempt to exactly replicate the Hannukah one's vibe, it sort of has its own Christmasy feel to it.

― man alive, Tuesday, 16 December 2014 16:57 (eleven years ago)

"the omelet stuffed with Mentos" just made me lose my shit

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 17:04 (eleven years ago)

yeah that

― man alive, Tuesday, 16 December 2014 17:13 (eleven years ago)

Weird that this one ends with a serious message

Luck is not a health plan. It’s time to get real, quality health coverage you can actually afford with GetCovered Illinois.

― Je55e, Tuesday, 16 December 2014 19:07 (eleven years ago)

PRESENTED BY
Get Covered Illinois

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 22:02 (eleven years ago)

Well that's still kind of weird. They're partnering w/ humor sites?

― Je55e, Tuesday, 16 December 2014 22:35 (eleven years ago)

well now you and i both know about get covered illinois

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 22:37 (eleven years ago)

maryland health connection's fucking me over so maybe i'll move and give it a try

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 22:37 (eleven years ago)

i think part of the whole raison d'etre of Clickhole is that they can go ahead and work any kind of advertisement or mention of sponsors into the site and it just kind of enhances the verisimilitude instead of detracting from it like it often does on The Onion.

― some dude, Wednesday, 17 December 2014 03:39 (eleven years ago)

All those "Lesser sites" are real, even though they look like parodies also.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 17 December 2014 07:10 (eleven years ago)

that's what i mean. the whole genre their parodying constantly looks like a self-parody, so they can make easy revenue off of filling the page with ads/links that make it look more 'real.'

― christmas with the canks (some dude), Thursday, 18 December 2014 17:23 (eleven years ago)

i think part of the whole raison d'etre of Clickhole is that they can go ahead and work any kind of advertisement or mention of sponsors into the site and it just kind of enhances the verisimilitude instead of detracting from it like it often does on The Onion.

― some dude, Tuesday, December 16, 2014 10:39 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I said that since day one, but the only sponsor I ever see is Jack Links jerky

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:04 (eleven years ago)

Well, something similar to that, not that exactly, obv

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:05 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/home-holidays-8-high-school-friends-you-always-run-1635

― lag∞n, Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:10 (eleven years ago)

haha was just about to post that

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:11 (eleven years ago)

irl lolz

― lag∞n, Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:13 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/aKeGwzQ.png

― gr8080, Friday, 19 December 2014 15:32 (eleven years ago)

THE BEST

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Friday, 19 December 2014 15:41 (eleven years ago)

myrrh

― 龜, Friday, 19 December 2014 15:43 (eleven years ago)

ALSO THE BEST

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Friday, 19 December 2014 15:45 (eleven years ago)

the velvets are back!

― lag∞n, Friday, 19 December 2014 15:53 (eleven years ago)

:D

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 19 December 2014 16:07 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/cosby-fans-rejoice-heres-way-enjoy-cosby-show-with-1613

― scott seward, Friday, 19 December 2014 16:50 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/everything-you-need-know-about-dangerous-teen-tren-1138

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/6549/original/640.jpg

― scott seward, Friday, 19 December 2014 16:53 (eleven years ago)

man there really need to be more "wodehousing" photos in that.

― man alive, Friday, 19 December 2014 16:55 (eleven years ago)

hah, video in The C̶͞͠͝͏̳̝̟͖o̡͡͏͕͙̖̮̤͙̯̙̯͓̦̞͖̗̦s҉̷҉͎͚̲̞̳̩̙͍b̷̢̛̤͓̫̲̳͚̻͉͉̲̜̝̯̭̦̗̀y͕̞͚̭̰͖͍͍̰͕̜̜̖̮̺̞̝̰͘ Show one is pretty amazing. Particularly the second scene.

― Øystein, Friday, 19 December 2014 17:13 (eleven years ago)

How the heck does that weird, obscured text work? Did I miss something?

― schwantz, Friday, 19 December 2014 19:26 (eleven years ago)

oystein is supergenius

― scott seward, Friday, 19 December 2014 19:29 (eleven years ago)

Z̖͇ͅA̗̰͍̲̹͢L̪̖͞G͖̫̲͖̫Ǫ͔̜̦͚̖̳

― emil.y, Friday, 19 December 2014 19:43 (eleven years ago)

T͈̙͖ͣ̋̄͠h̯̀͂̎͂̽̑͟ͅaͯ̆҉̹̳͇̫ṇ͒ͬͪͨk̩͚ ̘̩͙̱̄̓͘y͉̒̈́͆͛ͪ̆o͌͊̈́ͬ̈́̆̑ǘ͖̻̼̤̈̔̊͑ͧ̏!̣͕́́

― schwantz, Friday, 19 December 2014 21:27 (eleven years ago)

missed this one the first time round http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/darkness-we-are-all-kim-possible-749

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Sunday, 28 December 2014 05:56 (eleven years ago)

this is one of the more shameless things I've seen of late https://medium.com/@aaaaaaaaaandrew/today-i-learned-something-about-my-boyfriend-that-no-girl-should-ever-have-to-discover-7799910315af

― ganglier than the Pantilimon statue (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 31 December 2014 10:25 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/mI8P7XB.png

― gr8080, Wednesday, 31 December 2014 13:29 (eleven years ago)

this had me crying with laughter: http://www.clickhole.com/video/inspirational-deaf-woman-hears-music-first-time-1491

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Tuesday, November 25, 2014 12:21 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

still the funniest thing on this site

― and I explained the Bechdel Test to her (sleepingbag), Friday, 2 January 2015 04:33 (eleven years ago)

#6 & 7

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-most-badass-eating-challenges-america-1525

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Monday, 5 January 2015 18:00 (eleven years ago)

Also:

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/2946/1x1/300.jpg

“I am particularly fond of squee-deeee, but I have to admit chung-ka-chung is also a favorite.”
—Eric Clapton
On his guitar playing style

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Monday, 5 January 2015 18:02 (eleven years ago)

I think Clickhole has fallen off a steep cliff but they still make some gems http://www.clickhole.com/video/wow-only-knowing-few-words-song-didnt-stop-him-sin-1651

― 龜, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 18:38 (eleven years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/benjamin-franklins-daily-schedule-will-make-you-fe-1655

― Merdeyeux, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 19:03 (eleven years ago)

is that one offered up in defense of dayos thesis?

― wizaerd (Lamp), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 19:05 (eleven years ago)

i agree re the decline but i thought that was a good one :'(

― Merdeyeux, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 19:07 (eleven years ago)

this had me crying with laughter: http://www.clickhole.com/video/inspirational-deaf-woman-hears-music-first-time-1491

― the farakhan of gg (DJP), Tuesday, November 25, 2014 12:21 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

still the funniest thing on this site

― and I explained the Bechdel Test to her (sleepingbag), Thursday, January 1, 2015 11:33 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Shared this on facebook and just got a replies from a couple of olds:

R______________ WTH? That wasn't music...and waaaaaay too loud!! DUMB!!!
Yesterday at 1:30pm · Like · 1
M______________ No hearing professional would have recommended that. Pah!
23 hrs · Like · 1

Don't know if I won or lost.

― how's life, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 19:10 (eleven years ago)

unfriend

― The Understated Twee Hotel On A Mountain (silby), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 01:43 (eleven years ago)

i havent noticed a fall off but ive never been into all of the stuff they published, just here & there

this made me laugh more than the big bang theory one

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-hobbett-1599

― deej loaf (D-40), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 01:47 (eleven years ago)

charting the "fall off" of site that's existed for like seven months is the type of obsessive tv-recapper generation overanalyzation that clickhole would make fun of

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 02:37 (eleven years ago)

clickhole probably would have made a mixtape of non-witch house music for witch house fans too

― gr8080, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 03:35 (eleven years ago)

Not every website can have the longevity and cultivated brand recognition of a SPIN

― 龜, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 04:03 (eleven years ago)

that doesn't really contradict his point, SPIN was around for 2 decades plus

― deej loaf (D-40), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 04:21 (eleven years ago)

he had a point?

― wizaerd (Lamp), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 04:27 (eleven years ago)

Lmao deej never change

― 龜, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 12:41 (eleven years ago)

"charting"

― bife claro (wins), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 14:19 (eleven years ago)

Whiney is OTM, the rise of social internet has revealed that most people think it's glamorous as fuck to be the party guest with an opinion about which episode of the Brady Bunch was the one where the seams started to show

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 18:41 (eleven years ago)

I didn't really get the joke of this one (and it genuinely made me a little sad!):

http://www.clickhole.com/post/7-celebs-who-were-awkward-teens-1669?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― Your Ribs are My Ladder, Thursday, 8 January 2015 18:31 (eleven years ago)

they are all dead. i think that's the joke.

― scott seward, Thursday, 8 January 2015 18:36 (eleven years ago)

the onion has always had a fair volume pieces that don't quite hit a target but are generally in the area of one and that will have to do. in this case: celebrity fixation + celebrities are people too + ???? + death is sad = satire

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 8 January 2015 18:44 (eleven years ago)

o god that teens one is dark

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Thursday, 8 January 2015 18:46 (eleven years ago)

its a pretty straight up juxtaposition of not just death but dark depressing death with celeb-media celebration of youth and potential. the execution is like some minimalist composition, melody not in the notes themselves but in the hidden notes hovering between the overtones of the notes you hear.

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Thursday, 8 January 2015 18:48 (eleven years ago)

it also kinda feels like they're pushing a "generate article" button and it randomly rolled 7 celebs-as-teens pictures where they're all dead -- especially the hyper-generic last comment... "Just goes to show you: The grass is always greener. Amazing!" (i assume this is generic?)

dark as fuck for sure

― Francis Björk Morgan (Will M.), Thursday, 8 January 2015 18:53 (eleven years ago)

yeah i didn't think that was very amusing
i don't really like this site tbh

― vigetable (La Lechera), Thursday, 8 January 2015 18:56 (eleven years ago)

people really like to smooth over unfunny & cruel Onion bits by calling them "dark"

― example (crüt), Thursday, 8 January 2015 18:59 (eleven years ago)

eye of the beholder tbf

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 8 January 2015 19:01 (eleven years ago)

is that actually yr take crut - people are "smoothing over" these things by calling them "dark"? what's their purported motivation for smoothing them over?

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:05 (eleven years ago)

it's just something i see happen a lot: the onion posts something legitimately fucked up, and people go "oooh, that's some dark humor there!"

― example (crüt), Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:09 (eleven years ago)

...ok? this seems like a genuinely darkly comic piece about how celebrity discourse is kinda dehumanizing and gross

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:12 (eleven years ago)

it's a things that make you go hmmmm... moment.

― scott seward, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:14 (eleven years ago)

isn't one of the defining characteristics of "dark humor" being really fucked up?

― Let me help you out Charlie XCX fan (DJP), Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:16 (eleven years ago)

Yeah when something is offensive/fucked up it doesn't mean that was the only intention behind it.

― Evan, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:17 (eleven years ago)

may favorite onion things have been the ones that are dark beyond belief -- porkin across america most of all i think

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:25 (eleven years ago)

lots of humor is at once funny and misery inducing, or funny because misery inducing

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:26 (eleven years ago)

no see what i'm saying is everything should be censored and nobody should be allowed to be funny

― example (crüt), Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:28 (eleven years ago)

a-ha!

― Let me help you out Charlie XCX fan (DJP), Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:32 (eleven years ago)

finally the truth

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:38 (eleven years ago)

i mean nobody thinks the deceased are the targets of disrespect and/or 'the gag' right or

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:41 (eleven years ago)

Yeah, this is like Sex House, the joke is on the tone-deaf autopilot voice of the people who write real articles like this all the time.

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:44 (eleven years ago)

"this seems like a genuinely darkly comic piece about how celebrity discourse is kinda dehumanizing and gross"

people are kinda dehumanizing and gross. obviously celebrities are under a microscope more. but the clickhole thing to me is just about the banality of everything and how petty everyone is and what's the point and we make fun of people's hair and then they die. more sad than dark. or nihilistic? what's the thing called where nothing really matters and people are petty and then you die? the nails had a song about it. christianity? not the nails, the fools!

― scott seward, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:45 (eleven years ago)

Whiney is OTM, the rise of social internet has revealed that most people think it's glamorous as fuck to be the party guest with an opinion about which episode of the Brady Bunch was the one where the seams started to show

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Wednesday, January 7, 2015 1:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

Lol

See ILX is actually the one place I feel where I can challop without feeling like I'm challoping cause it's so accepted and unremarkable aruond here

You're not gonna catch me on facebook saying clickhole sucks now

― 龜, Thursday, 8 January 2015 20:59 (eleven years ago)

clickhole's main joke seems to be that other things are vacant and unfunny. well sure, but it's not a very good joke.

― Pew Nornographers (contenderizer), Thursday, June 19, 2014 1:56 PM (6 months ago)

― contenderizer, Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:01 (eleven years ago)

Like, point me to the last time an ilxor was truly knocked on their ass by another ilxor's CHALLENGING OPINION

― 龜, Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:01 (eleven years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oiBSCypUYY

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:04 (eleven years ago)

Like, point me to the last time an ilxor was truly knocked on their ass by another ilxor's CHALLENGING OPINION

What happened to socially/politically concious rappers

― Let me help you out Charlie XCX fan (DJP), Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:08 (eleven years ago)

You're not gonna catch me on facebook

shoulda stopped right here

― wizaerd (Lamp), Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:08 (eleven years ago)

fwiw i still like clickhole dot com a lot but the benji franx one sucked

i think if anything the 'they said that?' feature has been getting stronger & stronger. also nice that they can do callbacks to earlier classics like the missing velvets

― wizaerd (Lamp), Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:10 (eleven years ago)

clickhole's main joke seems to be that other things are vacant and unfunny. well sure, but it's not a very good joke.

― Pew Nornographers (contenderizer), Thursday, June 19, 2014 1:56 PM (6 months ago)

― contenderizer, Thursday, January 8, 2015 4:01 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

its the only joke

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:11 (eleven years ago)

well that and fart jokes

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:12 (eleven years ago)

clickhole is a funny website

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:46 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/RIAXiW1.jpg

― lag∞n, Thursday, 8 January 2015 21:46 (eleven years ago)

This is the first Clickhole post I ever saw and still possibly my favorite. And it's dark. http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-classic-90s-toys-werent-fun-anymore-after-911-333

― Je55e, Friday, 9 January 2015 00:15 (eleven years ago)

Another favorite is this line

Opened up the trunk of your nice dad’s wonderful Saab and shouted the word “Fuck!” into it so many times that the resale value of the car went down by half

― Je55e, Friday, 9 January 2015 00:16 (eleven years ago)

^^^that is still the best clickhole piece

― gbx, Saturday, 10 January 2015 03:13 (ten years ago)

dying right now at the one goon just posted

― walid foster dulles (man alive), Saturday, 10 January 2015 03:14 (ten years ago)

tbf it is kind of moving

― Merdeyeux, Saturday, 10 January 2015 03:16 (ten years ago)

clickhole already probably has had probably like 10 of the funniest things I've seen in the last several years just since it opened mere months ago, I'm not really at the point of challoping it yet.

― walid foster dulles (man alive), Saturday, 10 January 2015 03:17 (ten years ago)

goon, you are a prince among men for that tbh

― RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Saturday, 10 January 2015 03:18 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-all-indian-parents-said-unison-yesterday-1663?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

― walid foster dulles (man alive), Saturday, 10 January 2015 03:22 (ten years ago)

it is v moving xp

― lag∞n, Saturday, 10 January 2015 03:37 (ten years ago)

wtf man alive what

― RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Saturday, 10 January 2015 03:51 (ten years ago)

"A lifeguard came by to help them because he assumed they were strokin' out from the rays, but they weren't strokin' out at all, and didn't need his help at all."

― contenderizer, Saturday, 10 January 2015 04:52 (ten years ago)

You are what Google has been looking for. Your home in the moon is waiting.

― the dreaded Laramie (reddening), Saturday, 10 January 2015 05:46 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/fyi-you-can-buy-much-human-hair-you-want-and-you-w-1297

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Sunday, 11 January 2015 02:03 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/heartwarming-fraternity-brother-came-out-gay-and-w-1666

― goole, Monday, 12 January 2015 23:01 (ten years ago)

“I am glad that so many people enjoy the red gravy that erupts from our heads, but I’m afraid it is no longer worth the ceaseless anguish,” Jainukul’s statement went on to say.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/stock-sriracha-fans-family-produces-every-ounce-sr-1519

― Darin, Tuesday, 13 January 2015 00:02 (ten years ago)

#sorrynotsorry #nomnom #earfluid #yummysecretions

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Tuesday, 13 January 2015 00:08 (ten years ago)

dark subtext

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 13 January 2015 00:21 (ten years ago)

sriracha more like appropriation of srurplus value amirite

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 13 January 2015 16:10 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/average-woman-anthropologist-blended-thousands-fac-1347

Back to great

― 龜, Tuesday, 13 January 2015 20:17 (ten years ago)

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/t31.0-8/10845865_1544450619128532_2060284805815274666_o.jpg

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 14 January 2015 22:22 (ten years ago)

Is that Heath Ledger

― The Understated Twee Hotel On A Mountain (silby), Thursday, 15 January 2015 03:07 (ten years ago)

yes

― contenderizer, Thursday, 15 January 2015 05:47 (ten years ago)

good

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 15 January 2015 20:02 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/check-out-these-wheres-waldo-images-waldo-removed-1706

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Thursday, 15 January 2015 22:40 (ten years ago)

one for the parents out there:

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/my-2-month-old-son-wont-stop-demanding-soda-grown--1721?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― Let me help you out Charlie XCX fan (DJP), Thursday, 15 January 2015 22:44 (ten years ago)

irl lol^

― lag∞n, Thursday, 15 January 2015 22:44 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/G8HzI8P.png

― lag∞n, Saturday, 17 January 2015 14:52 (ten years ago)

So tempted to put that on fb...

― schwantz, Saturday, 17 January 2015 17:22 (ten years ago)

go nuts man https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/photos/a.1461385317435063.1073741828.1439042583002670/1544772042429723

― lag∞n, Saturday, 17 January 2015 19:37 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/things-change-once-youre-your-30s-1678

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Saturday, 17 January 2015 20:13 (ten years ago)

this too http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-amazingly-awkward-family-photos-if-you-know-indi-1683

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Saturday, 17 January 2015 20:14 (ten years ago)

Omg that last one

― Let me help you out Charlie XCX fan (DJP), Saturday, 17 January 2015 20:49 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/U9W4c5j.jpg

― please login or register if you are (unregistered), Saturday, 17 January 2015 20:56 (ten years ago)

"This unity, forever bound, forever apart. So awkward!"

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Saturday, 17 January 2015 21:10 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/my-doctor-told-me-i-should-vaccinate-my-children-t-653

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Monday, 19 January 2015 16:50 (ten years ago)

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t31.0-8/p552x414/10924618_1544772042429723_7519326297103848919_o.jpg

The sad thing about this image is that the movie God's not dead was NOT joking:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTNW4g2Qm6U

― Evan, Monday, 19 January 2015 17:14 (ten years ago)

*post (rather than "image")

― Evan, Monday, 19 January 2015 17:15 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-family-unboxing-1747

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Monday, 19 January 2015 18:42 (ten years ago)

yesssss

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-beer-snob-1743

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Tuesday, 20 January 2015 05:02 (ten years ago)

married actor Jeffrey Tambor

― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 20 January 2015 05:49 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/NYWBMcK.png

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 20 January 2015 21:58 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-spent-my-whole-life-defending-cruella-de-vil-the-1762

in the classic tradition of onion articles where you only need to read the headline

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 21:18 (ten years ago)

that's 3 days in a row of dril-esque quizzes, excited to see what the morrow will bring.

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 23:15 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/house-windows-95-maze-screensaver-sale-1766

“There is plenty of room for a breakfast nook,” added Fletcher. “Potentially thousands of breakfast nooks, as this maze has no limits as far as I can tell. Please take this home off my hands. I can no longer discern waking life from nightmare. I just want my old life back. I just want my son.”

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Thursday, 22 January 2015 19:01 (ten years ago)

awesome

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, 22 January 2015 19:12 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/what-english-sounds-non-speakers-1770

― lag∞n, Thursday, 22 January 2015 20:01 (ten years ago)

otm

― example (crüt), Thursday, 22 January 2015 20:05 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/what-english-sounds-non-speakers-1770

― qualx, Friday, 23 January 2015 00:46 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-johnny-cash-songs-have-you-heard-1780

Standin’ Outside The Prison, Yellin’ About Train Engines

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 23 January 2015 19:28 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-rats-nest-disease-1701

Cat that is only paws

― The Understated Twee Hotel On A Mountain (silby), Friday, 23 January 2015 20:01 (ten years ago)

“It’s a Philly cheesesteak covered in ketchup that I keep in my pocket.”

—Karl Lagerfeld
On his muse

― "Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Monday, 26 January 2015 17:41 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/beautiful-these-photos-diverse-people-can-be-turne-1777

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Monday, 26 January 2015 21:05 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/confused-about-how-youre-supposed-feel-about-ameri-1771

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Monday, 26 January 2015 21:06 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-amazing-studio-tricks-beatles-used-record-songs-1790

7. “Yesterday”: The reason that Paul McCartney sounds so sad during his performance on this song is that, just before recording, John Lennon had taken him aside and told him that James Bond wasn’t a real person.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 26 January 2015 21:31 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/AXaYWS7.png

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 27 January 2015 01:04 (ten years ago)

lol

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 27 January 2015 01:27 (ten years ago)

DARK: http://www.clickhole.com/article/underdog-story-these-amazing-parents-outlived-thei-1742

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Tuesday, 27 January 2015 17:34 (ten years ago)

this is incredible: http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-girls-character-are-you-618

― "Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Tuesday, 27 January 2015 17:53 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/someone-edited-together-ultimate-psa-and-its-incre-1811

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 28 January 2015 19:52 (ten years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/7226/1x1/200.jpg

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 28 January 2015 19:55 (ten years ago)

I took that quiz like 5 times but was disappointed there was only 1 result

― 龜, Wednesday, 28 January 2015 19:56 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/someone-edited-together-ultimate-psa-and-its-incre-1811

― polyphonic, Wednesday, January 28, 2015 2:52 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh yeah thats the stuff to share on faceboo right there

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 28 January 2015 20:58 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/get-tissues-ready-watch-these-people-react-first-1-1825

― qualx, Thursday, 29 January 2015 22:22 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-movies-originally-had-different-endings-1794

The film was supposed to end with the Nazi soldiers wailing, “It’s nothing but owls in here!” while Indiana Jones cackles and screams, “Welcome to owl country, idiots!” over and over as the screen fades to black.

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Friday, 30 January 2015 05:59 (ten years ago)

lmao

― lag∞n, Friday, 30 January 2015 13:50 (ten years ago)

i really like the mystic pizza one, kinda a different sensibility

― wizaerd (Lamp), Friday, 30 January 2015 14:30 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-rules-football-1832

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Saturday, 31 January 2015 02:15 (ten years ago)

The Referee, also called the Policeman Of Endless Lines

― lag∞n, Saturday, 31 January 2015 02:34 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/h6PN30R.png

― lag∞n, Saturday, 31 January 2015 02:35 (ten years ago)

as an early and repeat clickhole denier i have come to realize that my delicious words must now be eaten

― A Severus of Snapes (contenderizer), Saturday, 31 January 2015 03:56 (ten years ago)

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/chipotletab.asp

― qualx, Monday, 2 February 2015 06:24 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-war-movies-have-you-seen-1839

Seven Graves for Seven Brothers

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Monday, 2 February 2015 17:30 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/youll-never-believe-how-many-caterpillars-crawl-ou-1849

D:

― 龜, Wednesday, 4 February 2015 12:13 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-scary-things-pulling-all-nighter-does-your-body-1858

so not clicking on the caterpillar one

― "Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Wednesday, 4 February 2015 20:44 (ten years ago)

First impressions are everything in email, and without a strong subject line, your message might get ignored or sent straight to spam. Here are some helpful tips to make sure your email stands out in the inbox.

1. Start your subject line with “GOOD EMAIL”: People rarely want to read a bad email, so make sure to say the email is good right off the bat.

2. Don’t include too many A’s: It’s tempting to write out “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” but usually just four or five of them will suffice.

3. Always include “Regarding The Position”: This is especially important for job seekers, but even if you’re writing a personal email it’s worth adding just in case the recipient knows about a good job somewhere.

4. If you love the recipient, just come out and say it: It’s not easy to write “I Love You” in the subject line, but it’s a risk you’ve got to take. Even if you get rejected, at least you won’t spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.

5. Bosses love sea life facts: It can be intimidating to write to your boss, but don’t worry. If you know any good facts about ocean trenches or weird fish, throw them in the subject line, and your boss will give you a promotion.

6. Don’t take a stand on Jeremy Piven either way: Some people love the Entourage actor; others find him annoying. Best to avoid any messy drama and leave him out of your subject line entirely.

7. Write the email address again: Usually, putting the email address in the “To” line is enough, but put it in the subject line also just to be safe.

8. For urgent emails, write “I HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER”: This is guaranteed to get the attention of any recipient with a daughter. But first, do your research to make sure they have a daughter. If they don’t have a daughter, instead write, “YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER.”

9. Add some beautiful words: Nobody is going to click on your email unless the subject line has some nice words like “pheasant,” “downpour,” and “schist.”

10. Include one of these babies ¿ in every subject line: Even if your subject is not a question, people are going to write back to ask how you typed that.

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 5 February 2015 03:00 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-spent-my-whole-life-defending-cruella-de-vil-the-1762

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 5 February 2015 03:05 (ten years ago)

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/10924681_1552311348342459_6798936650936220163_o.jpg

― lag∞n, Thursday, 5 February 2015 03:45 (ten years ago)

i am down with clickventure

― sktsh, Thursday, 5 February 2015 17:49 (ten years ago)

This one killed me, probably mainly bcs I'm a SC4 fan.

http://www.clickhole.com/video/lesbians-explain-simcity-4-cheat-codes-1862

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 6 February 2015 02:24 (ten years ago)

“If George Washington were here today, he would not like what he sees.”
—Elizabeth Warren
On what to tell children when they make a mess

― walid foster dulles (man alive), Friday, 6 February 2015 06:04 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-already-knew-nsa-spies-us-we-already-know-every-1876

― walid foster dulles (man alive), Tuesday, 10 February 2015 02:53 (ten years ago)

clickhole otm

― Mordy, Tuesday, 10 February 2015 02:56 (ten years ago)

kinda beautiful...

― scott seward, Tuesday, 10 February 2015 04:20 (ten years ago)

~_~

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 10 February 2015 04:52 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/4Sh2cen.jpg

― 龜, Tuesday, 10 February 2015 12:14 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-jokes-childrens-shows-you-didnt-get-kid-1373

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Tuesday, 10 February 2015 16:29 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-already-knew-nsa-spies-us-we-already-know-every-1876

― walid foster dulles (man alive), Monday, February 9, 2015 9:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so good, shdve been on nytimes.com

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 10 February 2015 16:30 (ten years ago)

Are those all Carlin quotes?

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 11 February 2015 03:39 (ten years ago)

Yep. I recognized most of them right away.

― Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Wednesday, 11 February 2015 13:33 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-old-money-or-new-money-1813

was just dead throughout all of this one

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 11 February 2015 22:50 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/have-you-found-your-perfect-match-1920

omg

― "Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Friday, 13 February 2015 20:07 (ten years ago)

their v day stuff has been consistently astral diamonds but for some reason:

12. Hijack the bodies of a beautiful rich couple: If your psyches are powerful enough, you and your date should have no trouble overwhelming the minds of a gorgeous young rich couple, seizing their luscious flesh and considerable resources for a night of opulent debaucher

is killing me the hardest

― in de rawk (Lamp), Friday, 13 February 2015 20:18 (ten years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/7360/16x9/640.jpg

― iatee, Friday, 13 February 2015 20:22 (ten years ago)

every night I prayed to God that Wile E. Coyote would stop chasing the Road Runner and start chasing her

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 13 February 2015 22:00 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/we-can-determine-which-state-youre-just-way-you-an-1908

this one really benefits from the "open page source and search for 'quiz-outcome'" technique

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Wednesday, 18 February 2015 08:05 (ten years ago)

so i i picked one p much at random and clickhole was right!!

― gbx, Wednesday, 18 February 2015 12:32 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/shameful-less-10-americans-can-draw-tim-robbins-1883

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 February 2015 14:17 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/women-tell-you-what-theyre-really-looking-man-1943

some great performances in this one

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 18 February 2015 17:58 (ten years ago)

I haven't read this one yet; I'm linking it solely for the title:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/make-wish-kid-couldnt-decide-what-he-wanted-so-the-1848

― "Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Wednesday, 18 February 2015 18:11 (ten years ago)

love the what women really want video

― ogmor, Wednesday, 18 February 2015 18:17 (ten years ago)

so i i picked one p much at random and clickhole was right!!

haha me too... started wondering about deep google analytics but i think its just a coincidence

― no (Lamp), Wednesday, 18 February 2015 18:26 (ten years ago)

lost it at the chugga-chugga part

― goole, Wednesday, 18 February 2015 22:56 (ten years ago)

Congrats!
You've unlocked the "2 More Years Of Life" badge! Enjoy a couple more years on us!

― "Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Thursday, 19 February 2015 18:36 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/mysterious-shadows-skullshadow-island-1880#2,

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 19 February 2015 19:10 (ten years ago)

this is incredible

― "Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Thursday, 19 February 2015 19:21 (ten years ago)

It’s the lyrics to “Night Moves.”

― example (crüt), Thursday, 19 February 2015 19:42 (ten years ago)

5. “Dumb question, but are you called Buckethead because there’s a bucket on your head?”

― ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ (am0n), Thursday, 19 February 2015 20:31 (ten years ago)

I love the increasingly insane choose your own adventure stuff, feel like they're in some way distant american cousins of latter Terry Fuckwitt strips

was fully cackling on the bus while obsessively trying to enter the chord sequence from the Bob Seger song properly

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Friday, 20 February 2015 22:03 (ten years ago)

came here to post kudos for the click yr own adventure thing. real internet

― no (Lamp), Saturday, 21 February 2015 18:08 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/im-tired-people-whining-facebook-about-how-theyre--1918

keep remembering this and reading it again

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Saturday, 21 February 2015 20:06 (ten years ago)

lolll i meant to link to that one yesterday. "PLEASE SEND COMFORT AND MAGIC!!!"

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Saturday, 21 February 2015 22:47 (ten years ago)

clickhole deserves acclaim just for putting the word "tremendous" into circulation

― stately, plump buck angel (silby), Saturday, 21 February 2015 23:59 (ten years ago)

this one is freaking literature http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/mom-sad-crying-or-happy-crying-1897

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Sunday, 22 February 2015 18:35 (ten years ago)

ha wow

― lag∞n, Sunday, 22 February 2015 21:37 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/these-6-people-singing-different-everclear-songs-s-1961

starts funny, then feels overlong, then funny because excruciatingly long

― The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Monday, 23 February 2015 19:05 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-only-people-gauges-will-understand-1898

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 24 February 2015 17:32 (ten years ago)

missed opportunity for meta joke about how only ppl with "gauges" seem to understand that they are not called gauges.

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 24 February 2015 18:00 (ten years ago)

idgi

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 24 February 2015 18:02 (ten years ago)

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=plugs%20not%20gauges

ppl get mad heated about this

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 24 February 2015 18:04 (ten years ago)

ha wow

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 24 February 2015 18:05 (ten years ago)

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mds2ie50EZ1qfy3sdo1_500.jpg

― iatee, Tuesday, 24 February 2015 18:08 (ten years ago)

loooool

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 24 February 2015 18:08 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/did-sesame-street-go-too-far-yesterday-when-big-bi-1911

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 24 February 2015 20:39 (ten years ago)

“Sesame Street should be teaching my 4-year-old, not showing Elmo clapping and chanting ‘Yes! Great! Yes, great!’ as Big Bird devours our flag. No child should see that.”

I loled

― example (crüt), Tuesday, 24 February 2015 20:40 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/CZZSKES.png

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 25 February 2015 16:32 (ten years ago)

lol, i immediately thought of clickhole when i saw this https://twitter.com/bristling/status/559465487785275393 and now we have the precise american analogy

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 25 February 2015 17:08 (ten years ago)

it is SO WEIRD to hear the garbage sons/big jazz boy writing style spoken aloud by actors:

http://www.clickhole.com/video/inspiring-people-describe-first-time-they-drank-ga-1998

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Thursday, 26 February 2015 09:58 (ten years ago)

OMG that Skullshadow choose yr own adventure thing had such a Zach feel to it!

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 27 February 2015 03:47 (ten years ago)

http://s4.postimg.org/h9bidj68t/bernanke.png

― qualx, Friday, 27 February 2015 04:20 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/a2rgySR.png

― lag∞n, Friday, 27 February 2015 21:20 (ten years ago)

looool @ Bernanke

― gr8080, Sunday, 1 March 2015 17:33 (ten years ago)

hahaha

― k3vin k., Sunday, 1 March 2015 17:57 (ten years ago)

lmao the bernanke

― ciderpress, Sunday, 1 March 2015 18:17 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/world-famous-violinist-played-saxophone-subway-and-2045

― creaks, whines and trife (s.clover), Thursday, 5 March 2015 16:32 (ten years ago)

dying

― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 5 March 2015 16:34 (ten years ago)

hahaha

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, 5 March 2015 16:40 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/0RQ4zKJ.jpg

― 龜, Thursday, 5 March 2015 22:29 (ten years ago)

lmao

― lag∞n, Thursday, 5 March 2015 23:32 (ten years ago)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-put-fat-suit-understand-what-its-be-your-mom-2061

― scott seward, Friday, 6 March 2015 16:06 (ten years ago)

dying

― example (crüt), Friday, 6 March 2015 16:08 (ten years ago)

lol

― lag∞n, Friday, 6 March 2015 16:10 (ten years ago)

This is amazing

― DJP, Friday, 6 March 2015 17:41 (ten years ago)

hahahaha

― he quipped with heat (amateurist), Friday, 6 March 2015 17:48 (ten years ago)

quite a streak, the last few

― five six and (man alive), Friday, 6 March 2015 17:49 (ten years ago)

also amazing the sheer number of good mama jokes I have never heard before in that last one

― five six and (man alive), Friday, 6 March 2015 17:50 (ten years ago)

Who cares that her blood type is nougat?

Should be Ragu for maximum accuracy

― 龜, Friday, 6 March 2015 17:56 (ten years ago)

tears of laughter in a really quiet office from that fat suit blog

― Darin, Friday, 6 March 2015 19:28 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/world-famous-violinist-played-saxophone-subway-and-2045

― creaks, whines and trife (s.clover), Thursday, March 5, 2015 10:32 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Gene Weingarten, who won a Pulitzer for the WaPo article on Joshua Bell, likes it:
https://twitter.com/geneweingarten/status/573455251874938880

― jaymc, Friday, 6 March 2015 19:35 (ten years ago)

That article reminded me of one of my favorite books http://www.amazon.com/Portrait-Yo-Mama-Young-Man/dp/1400050723

― a girl with colitis (Je55e), Friday, 6 March 2015 23:33 (ten years ago)

Yo mama's cholesterol came up "walrus."

Yo mama's blood sugar came up "orca."

Yo mama's serum creatinine came up "sea lion."

Yo mama's triglycerides came up "arctic mammal." (The triglycerides test is less specific than the other tests.)

Yo mama's blood alcohol came upstairs for a drink.

Yo mama's liver-function test results came in: no cause for alarm. Wait, sorry, I read it wrong. Her liver's completely shot.

― a girl with colitis (Je55e), Friday, 6 March 2015 23:36 (ten years ago)

disappointed that there's nothing else with the 'your mom' tag

― mookieproof, Saturday, 7 March 2015 00:29 (ten years ago)

DYING.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t31.0-8/11043452_1566002346973359_7052523936015186646_o.jpg

― Chewshabadoo, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 20:09 (ten years ago)

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t31.0-8/11043452_1566002346973359_7052523936015186646_o.jpg

― Chewshabadoo, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 20:09 (ten years ago)

ClickHole ‏@ClickHole 35m35 minutes ago

9 Armpits We’re Sorry We Drew Faces On In Order To Make It Look Like They’re Vomiting Hair http://www.clickhole.com/r/1945tsd

― goole, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 22:32 (ten years ago)

“A mind without a book is like a pocket with a hole. All the brain money will fall down your mind pants.”

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-ben-franklin-sayings-inspire-you-2070

― scott seward, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 23:44 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/5Ev0nlB.jpg

― gr8080, Thursday, 12 March 2015 19:31 (ten years ago)

that's great

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 12 March 2015 20:01 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/death-attends-matinee-2020?fb_ref=Default#188,

this is so good i wanna cry with joy

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Friday, 13 March 2015 00:12 (ten years ago)

"The Hogg Brothers Run Over A Benevolent King"

"This wet idiot is also my wife"

― ogmor, Friday, 13 March 2015 00:31 (ten years ago)

“I’ve seen two policemen take turns throwing each other at a stray dog."

― stately, plump buck angel (silby), Friday, 13 March 2015 01:23 (ten years ago)

Continue your brooding monologue.

― iatee, Friday, 13 March 2015 03:15 (ten years ago)

I wish a magician would rip God in half.

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Friday, 13 March 2015 04:22 (ten years ago)

“I’ve stood by and watched the mayor of this city legally mandate an annual parade to commemorate the day he saw a fireman eat a spider that had eight human middle fingers where its legs should be.”

― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 13 March 2015 12:37 (ten years ago)

that clickventure was the perfect way to spend a long quiet cross-town train ride at 10pm last nite

― gr8080, Friday, 13 March 2015 13:39 (ten years ago)

5. If you need to use the bathroom, keep in mind that the hairless, whispering man is still hanging out in the Tomorrowland restroom area hassling people. Use the bathrooms in Frontierland, where his friendly brother hangs out.

― cardamon, Friday, 13 March 2015 16:13 (ten years ago)

“Yes, hubba hubba.” says Vera Calypso. “Hubba hubba forever and ever.”

― Clay, Saturday, 14 March 2015 06:30 (ten years ago)

“My name is Peter Leroy. I’m a critic for Nautical Stage Magazine, the only theater magazine written entirely by former sailors for a general audience of non-sailors. Perhaps you’ve read my column.”

― kriss akabusi cleaner (seandalai), Monday, 16 March 2015 00:25 (ten years ago)

i'm married to all the fish

― ciderpress, Monday, 16 March 2015 02:38 (ten years ago)

“Borse Borse! Borse Borse!”

― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Monday, 16 March 2015 08:10 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/incredible-man-successfully-pretended-not-see-his--2113

Me irl

― 龜, Monday, 16 March 2015 17:36 (ten years ago)

painfully otm

― gr8080, Monday, 16 March 2015 18:01 (ten years ago)

Death Attends the Matinee is next level

― Minaj moron (Re-Make/Re-Model), Tuesday, 17 March 2015 19:05 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/incredible-man-successfully-pretended-not-see-his--2113

Me irl

― 龜, Monday, March 16, 2015 1:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

me an hour and a half ago

― example (crüt), Tuesday, 17 March 2015 19:06 (ten years ago)

Who did you see?

― 龜, Tuesday, 17 March 2015 19:18 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/go-ahead-treat-yourself-some-saccharine-dogshit-yo-2079

― scott seward, Tuesday, 17 March 2015 19:38 (ten years ago)

CUTE INSPIRING ADORABLE FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED GREAT SHIT DOGSHIT SACCHARINE SWEET YOU DESERVE IT ALL THAT SHIT

― scott seward, Tuesday, 17 March 2015 19:38 (ten years ago)

this one actually frightened me a little bit...

http://www.clickhole.com/video/7-things-you-should-do-whenever-you-check-hotel-2118

― scott seward, Tuesday, 17 March 2015 19:41 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/ySskwEE.png

― the geographibebebe (unregistered), Wednesday, 18 March 2015 15:46 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/cQVqluD.png

― the geographibebebe (unregistered), Wednesday, 18 March 2015 15:48 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/only-31-things-standing-between-you-and-your-dream-2077

fgragargsfgijgiljrt;asklfjgksfg So accurate haha

― 龜, Thursday, 19 March 2015 16:00 (ten years ago)

just coming here to post that

― gr8080, Thursday, 19 March 2015 16:33 (ten years ago)

man, sometimes clickhole really kills it, and this is one of those times

― Nhex, Thursday, 19 March 2015 18:01 (ten years ago)

Ouchhh

― kinder, Thursday, 19 March 2015 18:14 (ten years ago)

oh man i am laffing...

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-edgar-allan-poes-scary-stories-have-you-r-2075

― scott seward, Thursday, 19 March 2015 18:35 (ten years ago)

“Raven Hits The Road”

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, 19 March 2015 19:10 (ten years ago)

“One Fish, Two Fish, Death”

― scott seward, Thursday, 19 March 2015 20:15 (ten years ago)

“Imprisoned In A Grandfather Clock, Unfortunately”

― lag∞n, Thursday, 19 March 2015 20:48 (ten years ago)

My bedroom is laid-back and disgusting, and dirt is the king of everywhere. There is a decomposing body in the bed and I don’t know who it is, so I just wrote “Maybe a criminal?” on a Post-it note and stuck it onto the dead body and called it a day.

― the fuckin catalina wine mixer (sleepingbag), Friday, 20 March 2015 03:51 (ten years ago)

it's just amazing how much genuinely hilarious content ends up on this site.. i remember feeling the same way about the onion 10, 15+ years ago, and they're still killing it pretty regularly too.... maybe it will be funny forever????????

― the fuckin catalina wine mixer (sleepingbag), Friday, 20 March 2015 04:13 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-milestones-every-long-term-relationship-2120

― kriss akabusi cleaner (seandalai), Saturday, 21 March 2015 18:42 (ten years ago)

http://41.media.tumblr.com/f4532ba126f66a5ad94ea750452da6e9/tumblr_nlpf023g9h1qafurwo1_1280.png

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Tuesday, 24 March 2015 06:55 (ten years ago)

feels like they gave the hard stuff a rest for a lil while there but

http://www.clickhole.com/article/need-proof-afterlife-kid-stayed-there-2115

it's back

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 24 March 2015 16:23 (ten years ago)

lol damn

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 24 March 2015 16:41 (ten years ago)

wow

― DJP, Tuesday, 24 March 2015 16:46 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/dFXM6Ak.png

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 24 March 2015 19:03 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/americans-try-israeli-snacks-note-neither-endorsem-2185

― Mordy, Thursday, 26 March 2015 20:37 (ten years ago)

oldie but goodie:

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/can-somebody-tell-me-what-monsanto-so-i-can-hate-i-330

― DJP, Friday, 27 March 2015 15:18 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/all-my-equally-perfect-daughtersranked-2159

― lag∞n, Friday, 27 March 2015 16:59 (ten years ago)

the order of the ranking relative to their characteristics is a nice touch

― lag∞n, Friday, 27 March 2015 17:00 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-occasions-you-can-apparently-wear-sandals-if-you-2127

― kinder, Friday, 27 March 2015 18:58 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/man-mission-man-adding-and-thems-facts-end-every-w-2182

http://i.imgur.com/j0ptt2O.jpg

― 龜, Monday, 30 March 2015 17:16 (ten years ago)

People've already started to edit Clickhole's wikipedia page lol

― 龜, Monday, 30 March 2015 17:17 (ten years ago)

nice

it's still really jarring for me to see legimimate sponsor 3x3 ad blocks (24 Crimes You Won't BELIEVE Professional Wrestlers Committed!) mixed in with the parody articles

― Nhex, Tuesday, 31 March 2015 13:57 (ten years ago)

10 Famous Quotes That Don’t Mean What You Think They Do

http://i.imgur.com/GL7tCSN.png

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 31 March 2015 17:21 (ten years ago)

XD

― 龜, Tuesday, 31 March 2015 17:22 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/4Ghojj1.jpg

― 龜, Tuesday, 31 March 2015 22:13 (ten years ago)

hahahahahaha

― DJP, Tuesday, 31 March 2015 22:34 (ten years ago)

lol

― And let’s say a new Hozier comes along, and Spotify outbids you (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 31 March 2015 23:36 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/heartwarming-when-their-school-let-them-pick-new-m-2128

Aguhaagfgafgaetra

― 龜, Wednesday, 1 April 2015 17:42 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/R4QLQlF.png

I really like it when FB shows me serious ads under a CH article

― 龜, Thursday, 2 April 2015 21:13 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-famous-athletes-tell-us-about-greatest-game-they-2238?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

I'm in pain rn

― k3vin k., Monday, 6 April 2015 19:56 (ten years ago)

irl lol @ "The Handless Ordeal"

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 6 April 2015 19:59 (ten years ago)

The arena erupted in applause, and I got a standing ovation. I began weeping with joy, because I was so happy I had killed a shoplifter.

― computer champion (harbl), Tuesday, 7 April 2015 01:24 (ten years ago)

Steven Tyler from Aerosmith

― brunch technician (silby), Tuesday, 7 April 2015 03:01 (ten years ago)

After the game, I called the police, and I said, ‘I am never going to die,’ and the police said, ‘Yes, we know.’”

― johnny crunch, Tuesday, 7 April 2015 03:01 (ten years ago)

“One time, in Super Bowl XXXIII, I saw a man sitting in the crowd who looked exactly like me. He kept shouting, ‘John Elway! I’m you! I’m you, John Elway!’ I smiled because I knew that he was definitely me.”

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 7 April 2015 14:02 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/we-put-gopro-sparrow-2248

― koogs, Tuesday, 7 April 2015 14:25 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/national-hero-meet-navy-seal-charge-pushing-osama--2224

― Mordy, Tuesday, 7 April 2015 19:40 (ten years ago)

(came here to post the go-pro sparrow link)

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Tuesday, 7 April 2015 20:31 (ten years ago)

This is destroying me

http://www.clickhole.com/video/supercut-every-time-tim-taylor-said-clean-your-tee-2239

― ciao, o rank cunt (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 April 2015 15:35 (ten years ago)

this should win an award:

http://www.clickhole.com/video/heartbreakingly-adorable-watch-mother-explain-deat-2251

― scott seward, Wednesday, 8 April 2015 16:40 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/just-when-you-didnt-think-emma-watson-could-get-an-2166

so dumb but I can't stop giggling

― DJP, Wednesday, 8 April 2015 19:35 (ten years ago)

Any Chicago-area ILXors looking for work?

https://www.smartrecruiters.com/TheOnion/82128919-clickhole-writing-fellowship

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 8 April 2015 19:36 (ten years ago)

Why We Shouldn’t Force Alligators And Crocodiles To Wear Sashes That Say ‘Alligator’ And ‘Crocodile’

― the fuckin catalina wine mixer (sleepingbag), Thursday, 9 April 2015 02:33 (ten years ago)

excellent

― And let’s say a new Hozier comes along, and Spotify outbids you (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 9 April 2015 04:17 (ten years ago)

relevant to ilm's interests

http://www.clickhole.com/video/spoken-word-poem-amazing-even-if-it-appears-be-mai-2269?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Friday, 10 April 2015 22:40 (ten years ago)

my favorite this week:

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/if-only-once-it-would-be-nice-if-hodor-said-womens-2235

― Darin, Friday, 10 April 2015 23:10 (ten years ago)

Guilty lol
http://www.clickhole.com/article/justice-last-when-girl-was-cyberbullied-classmate--2219

― kinder, Monday, 13 April 2015 16:56 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/latest-attack-isis-just-changed-its-name-google-2226

― silverfish, Monday, 13 April 2015 20:08 (ten years ago)

these ones are starting to get a little too close for comfort

http://www.clickhole.com/search?tags=well-played

― let your hip go hippety pump pump (soref), Tuesday, 14 April 2015 06:30 (ten years ago)

Yeah the bald dude is my fav

― 龜, Tuesday, 14 April 2015 11:12 (ten years ago)

ok wtf is this?

http://i.imgur.com/vnIe761.png

I clicked on one the bald guy videos and got a video of this weird dude x4 prancing around with mops and chanting, "our music our sports our traffic are together on the hour" in a round. but I can't find it anywhere else and the bald guy link is back to normal now.

― the geographibebebe (unregistered), Tuesday, 14 April 2015 13:44 (ten years ago)

oh huh, I got something similarly odd the first time I watched the "Incredible! This Man Successfully Pretended Not To See His Coworker At The Supermarket" video, I put it down as me not getting it but now when I view it I get the normal one

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 14 April 2015 13:57 (ten years ago)

clickhole easter egg

― scott seward, Tuesday, 14 April 2015 13:58 (ten years ago)

Sounds like typical water-cooler chat to me.

― Evan, Tuesday, 14 April 2015 14:00 (ten years ago)

do you remember what the 'wrong' video was, Merdeyeux? half the humor of mop dude came from the sheer unexpectedness + me trying to figure out how it was remotely connected to the title. but of course I dutifully saved it to my hard drive because it's pretty lol in any context.

― the geographibebebe (unregistered), Tuesday, 14 April 2015 14:05 (ten years ago)

mm all i remember is jump cuts and someone's bald head taking up most of the screen, i wasn't smart enough to preserve the moment

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 14 April 2015 14:56 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/we-need-stop-teaching-our-kids-its-okay-think-chri-2264

― ciderpress, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 13:51 (ten years ago)

I actually had to look at all these twice to get it.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-pictures-will-drive-perfectionists-insane-2201

― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 14:21 (ten years ago)

lol

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 15:22 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/rrYRmBO.png

:)

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 15:32 (ten years ago)

The school lunches one

― badg, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 18:08 (ten years ago)

OMG I hadn't looked at the perfectionist one

Holy shit

― DJP, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:03 (ten years ago)

OK, I'm apparently an idiot. Can someone explain the perfectionist bit to me? idgi

― Darin, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:12 (ten years ago)

once you see it...

― mh, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:13 (ten years ago)

When it started to hit me, it felt like an indictment.

― Je55e, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:20 (ten years ago)

idgi either

― example (crüt), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:34 (ten years ago)

think about different -ists it could be

― mh, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:35 (ten years ago)

lol

― imago, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:36 (ten years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCxrkl2igGY

― mh, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:36 (ten years ago)

I wanted to post that but it reminded me of terrible ways I heard that song used when I went to high school in backwater Appalachia.

― Je55e, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:52 (ten years ago)

that makes me sad

― mh, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:54 (ten years ago)

but it may also be an important clue!

― mh, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:54 (ten years ago)

OK, now I get it!

― Darin, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:56 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/latest-attack-isis-just-changed-its-name-google-2226

― Mark G, Wednesday, 15 April 2015 21:48 (ten years ago)

The school lunches one

― badg, Wednesday, April 15, 2015 11:08 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I died

― brunch technician (silby), Thursday, 16 April 2015 01:48 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/youve-been-elected-congress-can-you-pass-even-one--1146#1,

superb

― rob, Thursday, 16 April 2015 20:55 (ten years ago)

loved it

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, 16 April 2015 21:01 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-much-introvert-are-you-2174

My significant other is a rectangle of empty air where no human may be.

― the geographibebebe (unregistered), Thursday, 16 April 2015 21:13 (ten years ago)

Fuck this. Resign from office. →

― am0n, Thursday, 16 April 2015 21:17 (ten years ago)

Holy shit. The congress thing is the greatest internet game since Frog Fractions.

― änte flöttar ja te sjöss (Øystein), Thursday, 16 April 2015 21:53 (ten years ago)

This decision was definitely a gamble, and it does not pay off. You are immediately arrested, and are later sentenced to death by being strapped to the bridge you fought so hard for while it is destroyed by detonation. Hundreds of thousands of people line the river to applaud your fiery death and poke your charred remains with a stick.

Your congressional district is banned from having a congressperson for 1,000 years, so everyone leaves and nature slowly reclaims it. In 400 years’ time, it becomes a sanctuary for rare birds.

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 17 April 2015 00:44 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/we-didnt-have-access-gun-or-slow-motion-camera-so--820

― gr8080, Friday, 17 April 2015 13:44 (ten years ago)

yessss this clickventure, the bit after 'kill her' probably the best part so far

― imago, Friday, 17 April 2015 13:53 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/guUVZAW.png

― lag∞n, Friday, 17 April 2015 15:10 (ten years ago)

You approach the Massachusetts representative, and he agrees to support your bill! He only asks in return that $100 million is added to fund research on how to get the city of Boston to float four inches above the ground and make it so “Lightning Crashes” by Live plays on an infinite loop from speakers so loud no Bostonian can ever escape it, even if they trap themselves in the thickest bank vault.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 17 April 2015 15:16 (ten years ago)

"Who are the original disruptors? Birds. They saw life on land and flipped the script. That’s why I require my employees to conduct all business in bird languages."

― SCHLITZ MIXED BAG (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 17 April 2015 18:17 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/68C3HWS.jpg

― lag∞n, Friday, 17 April 2015 18:30 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/s5FgMn0.jpg

― Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 18 April 2015 07:50 (ten years ago)

You think you get another shot after choosing to kill another human being? That’s abhorrent. You get no more chances to be a vile piece of dirt. Please do NOT reload the page to play again. Instead, go immediately to your nearest police station and ask to be put in jail, where you belong.

So, apparently, you didn’t go to prison as instructed. Luckily, by pressing that second fake Checkpoint button, your IP address has been logged and will be submitted to the NSA immediately. God knows what those guys will do to you.

These are all fake Checkpoint buttons. You have been banned from this game because you’re an insane criminal. Go bother some other website.

― I don't even OWN a Television album (The Yellow Kid), Saturday, 18 April 2015 18:13 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/disney-fans-rejoice-newly-discovered-letters-walt--2254?

― Deverly (Bangelo), Monday, 20 April 2015 20:47 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/latest-attack-isis-just-changed-its-name-google-2226

― silverfish, Monday, April 13, 2015 4:08 PM (1 week ago)

sometimes i don't know what the difference is between a clickhole piece and a regular onion piece

― k3vin k., Monday, 20 April 2015 20:51 (ten years ago)

Its like Morecambe and Wise doing the same joke as Cannon and Ball.

― Mark G, Monday, 20 April 2015 21:04 (ten years ago)

WOW YES! HAM ESCALATOR

― DJP, Tuesday, 21 April 2015 20:20 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/cool-high-school-senior-without-prom-date-asked-ka-2330

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 21 April 2015 20:49 (ten years ago)

also amazing

― DJP, Tuesday, 21 April 2015 20:57 (ten years ago)

can't watch at work, does he specify method of death?

― mh, Tuesday, 21 April 2015 21:02 (ten years ago)

he gives options

― DJP, Tuesday, 21 April 2015 21:16 (ten years ago)

I am a bad person who assumes smothering is on the list

― mh, Tuesday, 21 April 2015 21:17 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/oral-history-mad-men-2329

amazing

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 10:00 (ten years ago)

lol

Christina Hendricks: To me, Mad Men is about a group of men and women who work in advertising in the 1960s and run into various problems.

― 'come around to your house and fuck your ho' (paraphrase) (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 10:03 (ten years ago)

Christina Hendricks (Joan Holloway): Matt was always telling the actors secrets about their characters. One day, in the early stages of filming the first season, Matt took me aside and told me that, in the Mad Men universe, Joan would eventually die by getting eaten by a shark in the year 2131, when she is 200 years old. He also told me that Joan knew that this was how she was going to die, and that she didn’t care.

Matthew Weiner: Joan knows that a shark is going to eat her on her 200th birthday, and it doesn’t bother her at all. Every evening, she gets a phone call from a wizard in the middle of the night, and the wizard says, “A shark will swallow you when you are ancient,” and Joan always says, “So fucking what? I can’t wait.” The reason why Joan is destined to live until she is 200 years old is because her father accidentally ran over the wizard in his car, so the wizard put a curse on his daughter. This backstory informs every aspect of Joan’s character, even though it’s only hinted at a few times over the course of the show.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 22 April 2015 14:28 (ten years ago)

John Slattery: When Jon Hamm says the word “Yowza!” his voice gets extremely low-pitched, like a dragon is talking.

― mh, Wednesday, 22 April 2015 14:29 (ten years ago)

It’s so easy to steal a man’s name after he explodes. A baby could do it. A dead dog could do it. Right now, somewhere in the world, a dead dog is probably saying, “I am the man who just exploded,” and the U.S. Army is probably nodding and saying, “Yes, you are. Have some trophies.”

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 14:35 (ten years ago)

I really lost it with the description of Broderick Names Them Roderick.

― Evan, Wednesday, 22 April 2015 14:38 (ten years ago)

this show would have been so much better than the actual Mad Men

― DJP, Wednesday, 22 April 2015 16:06 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/pants-these-nerds-2326

― Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 16:21 (ten years ago)

I really lost it with the description of Broderick Names Them Roderick.

Is this the first time Clickhole has mentioned Matthew Broderick without referencing the fact that he killed two people?

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 16:50 (ten years ago)

ha probably

― DJP, Wednesday, 22 April 2015 16:57 (ten years ago)

Matthew Weiner: What a goddamned nightmare. All of the actors were such goddamned nightmares. They were the best cast I’ve ever worked with, but that’s only because every other actor in the world is even worse. There are no good actors on earth. The only good actor ever was Orson Welles, and my wife and I murdered him.

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 19:15 (ten years ago)

Holy shit @ the Mad Men piece.

― Continue your brooding monologue (Re-Make/Re-Model), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 22:58 (ten years ago)

I am Hamm

― the fart in our stalls (latebloomer), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 23:18 (ten years ago)

Hamm I Am

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 22 April 2015 23:23 (ten years ago)

Don Draper exploded and I took his trophies

― mh, Thursday, 23 April 2015 13:46 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/awesome-lucky-school-got-two-proms-2287

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 23 April 2015 18:18 (ten years ago)

overlooked this one yesterday:

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-much-jockey-slang-do-you-know-2280

― bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Thursday, 23 April 2015 21:03 (ten years ago)

http://i.gyazo.com/dc55ab9d49c0986a7ebd8bb6e713d4f0.png

― olly, Friday, 24 April 2015 03:18 (ten years ago)

poor ormul :(

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Friday, 24 April 2015 03:27 (ten years ago)

revisiting some classics from last year

“Before that, everyone on the project understood it was set in Kansas—certainly a very strange part of Kansas, but Kansas nonetheless”

― Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 25 April 2015 01:51 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/teenage-girl-was-kicked-out-prom-just-wearing-shor-2293

― goole, Monday, 27 April 2015 18:44 (ten years ago)

looooolll http://www.clickhole.com/video/relax-beautiful-woman-you-see-thumbnail-will-show--2365

― the fuckin catalina wine mixer (sleepingbag), Monday, 27 April 2015 22:40 (ten years ago)

lolll

― Doctor Casino, Monday, 27 April 2015 22:42 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/long-road-top-how-bursting-various-boardrooms-and--2308 stuck laughing at the headline cuz it's such a great image

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Monday, 27 April 2015 23:12 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/npiZwhP.png

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 28 April 2015 15:23 (ten years ago)

yessss

― ultimate american sock (mh), Tuesday, 28 April 2015 15:40 (ten years ago)

i'm not even gonna quote anything from that Radiohead thing cuz there is way too much to quote. end up posting the whole thing here.

― scott seward, Wednesday, 29 April 2015 19:37 (ten years ago)

Thom Yorke: From the beginning, my goal was to make an album that would get us all sent to jail for the rest of our lives.

― ciderpress, Wednesday, 29 April 2015 19:54 (ten years ago)

its not quite as great as the mad men one but i like that they're adding more formats to their arsenal

― ciderpress, Wednesday, 29 April 2015 19:56 (ten years ago)

More Songs About The Indestructible Meat Known As Gum

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 29 April 2015 20:01 (ten years ago)

Many lulz!

― schwantz, Wednesday, 29 April 2015 20:31 (ten years ago)

Philip Selway (drums): For many years, Thom tried to pay the pope a million dollars to replace the word “Amen” with the phrase “‘Creep’ is a bad song,” but the pope wouldn’t do it because he liked the song so much. Everyone loved that song.

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 29 April 2015 20:49 (ten years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CD23KAVUIAAss1_.png

― lag∞n, Thursday, 30 April 2015 17:41 (ten years ago)

o glorious day

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 30 April 2015 17:44 (ten years ago)

omg

― DJP, Thursday, 30 April 2015 17:56 (ten years ago)

we did it

― goole, Thursday, 30 April 2015 17:58 (ten years ago)

close down clickhole. it has fulfilled its purpose.

― linkedin park (cajunsunday), Thursday, 30 April 2015 18:10 (ten years ago)

Clickhole '16

― DJP, Thursday, 30 April 2015 18:20 (ten years ago)

happy clickventure thursday! can someone tell me who the goddamn mole is

― hitting has the awful brilliance (reddening), Thursday, 30 April 2015 21:36 (ten years ago)

xps more Russ Crowe on Twitter lols http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/this-is-without-a-doubt-the-best-way-to-troll-russell-crowe--lJV7-4Vojg

― kinder, Thursday, 30 April 2015 21:43 (ten years ago)

xp Enlist the help of awful spy Travis Plerpt.

― Bookmark No Bingus Permalink (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 30 April 2015 21:49 (ten years ago)

it's weird to look at the 'poor websites in need of clicks' links to real clickbait articles and keep seeing '10 Actors Who Killed People In Real Life' with this photo:

http://blogimages.thescore.com/nfl/files/2013/01/Ferris-Bueller.jpg

― soref, Saturday, 2 May 2015 21:09 (ten years ago)

so perfect

http://www.clickhole.com/video/we-threw-gopro-our-stepdad-2398

― it me, Monday, 4 May 2015 18:39 (ten years ago)

lmao

― lag∞n, Monday, 4 May 2015 19:36 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/theres-no-use-moving-sliders-jim-shes-gone-2429

― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 17:24 (ten years ago)

:(

― example (crüt), Monday, 11 May 2015 17:50 (ten years ago)

i think the beauty of this is its seriousness

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/do-you-know-what-boats-are-2300

― cis-het shitlord (Merdeyeux), Monday, 11 May 2015 22:53 (ten years ago)

think this is the source material for that one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQcBQc3oaKg

― Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 11 May 2015 22:59 (ten years ago)

that film is a compendium of confused idiots btw

― Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 11 May 2015 23:00 (ten years ago)

lol theres a great scene in herzogs white diamond where the airship guy is disappointed that the aboriginal children didnt react more positively to seeing his blimp and tries to sell this local (non aboriginal) guy on that story that they just cldnt see it (tho i think he told it with captain cook and a polynesian island) and the local guy super deadpan is all "the indians just never get very excited"

― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 23:27 (ten years ago)

that may be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard
xps

― SCHLITZ MIXED BAG (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 00:24 (ten years ago)

ha, that is strikingly dumb; like i kinda sorta almost could buy the "they couldn't see queen elizabeth in the photo because their eyes had never seen a photograph" bit but the suggestion that they could see the ripples BUT NOT THE SHIP is pretty yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, no.

― “audience participation” otherwise known as “touching” (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 01:44 (ten years ago)

they cldnt see the boat because... it was larger than their boats

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 02:13 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/amazing-check-out-these-letters-between-ernest-hem-2431

― DJP, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 18:48 (ten years ago)

... i lol'd

― Nhex, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 20:16 (ten years ago)

lmao

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 20:58 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/oral-history-pixar-2444

at this point i should just bump this thread every day and say "well boys, clickhole's done it again!"

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Thursday, 14 May 2015 06:07 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-fun-perks-does-your-office-have-2447

This is a good question.

― Mark G, Thursday, 14 May 2015 06:55 (ten years ago)

He photo credits in the Pixar story are so spot-on, I can't tell if they're part of the joke or not.

― pplains, Thursday, 14 May 2015 11:19 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/dj-party-2358#156,

This becomes incredible

― DJP, Thursday, 14 May 2015 13:45 (ten years ago)

at this point i should just bump this thread every day and say "well boys, clickhole's done it again!"

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Thursday, May 14, 2015 2:07 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

clickhole has more quality content today plz navigate yr web browser to clickhole.com

― lag∞n, Thursday, 14 May 2015 13:58 (ten years ago)

clickhole dot com has excellent content every day according to my facebook news feed

'dj this party' the first clickventure i got all good endings when playing

― no (Lamp), Thursday, 14 May 2015 14:00 (ten years ago)

Hemingway/Fitzgerald thing kinda reminded me of something Lee & Herring would've done in the 90s, which is to say I loled

― pull blart, maul cops (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 14 May 2015 14:00 (ten years ago)

Wait, what did you just make me do

http://i.imgur.com/BBrYnCt.png

― pplains, Thursday, 14 May 2015 14:01 (ten years ago)

I am DJ Musik

― ultimate american sock (mh), Thursday, 14 May 2015 14:04 (ten years ago)

DJ Musik, clap your hands! You made Leysa feel like a powerful woman, but that also means you do not own this club. Club Jenga might still belong to Leysa, and she might play lady tunes until she is the best lady in the world, but thanks to all your great tunes, she did not enslave you. Now, go wander the world with your soundboard, and make Prague love you!

― goole, Thursday, 14 May 2015 16:49 (ten years ago)

I want to marry this joke:

Pete Docter: From there, we were off to the races. Someone said “A thing that goes on an adventure.” Someone else said “A Jewish monster called Mike.” Someone else said “The good family has superpowers, and they kill a normal man.”

― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Thursday, 14 May 2015 18:27 (ten years ago)

I hadn't even explored the entire DJ Clickventure when I posted it

It's even better than I thought it was

― DJP, Thursday, 14 May 2015 19:17 (ten years ago)

I got Ronald Reagan's speech to congress after the space shuttle disaster, as part of my DJ Musik clickventure.

― brownie, Thursday, 14 May 2015 19:22 (ten years ago)

that was precisely what prompted me to come back to the thread

― DJP, Thursday, 14 May 2015 19:27 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/znp8tpo.png

― lag∞n, Friday, 15 May 2015 14:58 (ten years ago)

i feel like it's been awhile since they've posted something so cheerfully vicious as that james taylor listicle.

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 01:38 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/ready-feel-old-kids-born-2001-are-already-getting--2416

― 'come around to your house and fuck your ho' (paraphrase) (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 09:27 (ten years ago)

Pete Docter: From there, we were off to the races. Someone said “A thing that goes on an adventure.” Someone else said “A Jewish monster called Mike.” Someone else said “The good family has superpowers, and they kill a normal man.”

John Lasseter: I vividly remember the moment we came up with the idea for Ratatouille. Brad Bird suddenly started scribbling down the words “rat Frenchman” over and over on a napkin. He must have written it hundreds of times. We all started nodding, because we knew this idea was going to make us a billion dollars.

Almost barfed my breakfast!

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 19 May 2015 13:58 (ten years ago)

Earlier today, Clickhole published one of its trademark “Find Out What [Three Celebrities] Have to Say” stories with the following quote from Cooper’s fictional NYU commencement speech:

“Graduation is a big deal—bigger than getting a hole-in-one while golfing. People might think you’re lying about the hole-in-one, but when you graduate, you get a diploma.”


Anderson CooperVerified account
‏@andersoncooper Anderson Cooper retweeted ClickHole
Ummm... @Clickhole, do u make this stuff up? I never said this quote and never spoke to the NYU class of 2015.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 19 May 2015 14:42 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/while-i-agree-hitler-was-one-historys-greatest-mon-2421

― ciderpress, Tuesday, 19 May 2015 20:24 (ten years ago)

https://40.media.tumblr.com/2705e340474bb3e0b42f4f8ff69daeb5/tumblr_nom94eCNoi1typl03o1_540.jpg

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Wednesday, 20 May 2015 00:11 (ten years ago)

Healing Old Wounds: This Man Facebook Friended A Guy He Used To Bully And Invited Him To Like Sublime

― ciderpress, Wednesday, 20 May 2015 15:17 (ten years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CFik7ECW0AANJ4B.jpg

― lag∞n, Thursday, 21 May 2015 15:40 (ten years ago)

ppl have a hard time understanding jokes

― lag∞n, Thursday, 21 May 2015 15:40 (ten years ago)

Salman Rushdie twitter almost sounds like an Onion article, but isn't.

― pplains, Thursday, 21 May 2015 16:00 (ten years ago)

its insane how terrible and dumb rushdie comes off on twitter

― lag∞n, Thursday, 21 May 2015 16:09 (ten years ago)

'And if you believe that, there's a bridge I'd like to sell you.'
- Salman Rushdie, on his favorite way to end phone calls.

― a silly gif of awkward larping (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 21 May 2015 16:11 (ten years ago)

trolls own a lot of bridges

― Is It Any Wonder I'm Not the (President Keyes), Thursday, 21 May 2015 16:14 (ten years ago)

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/1337/9/original/640.jpg

― scott seward, Thursday, 21 May 2015 21:13 (ten years ago)

or it falls off.

― Mark G, Thursday, 21 May 2015 22:33 (ten years ago)

idk i've been thinking about the orson welles war of the worlds broadcast a lot & i've concluded, people who see something that looks like news and think 'hey, that's some news,' are not total fucking idiots

― he sounds like a parrot eating a carrot (Crabbits), Friday, 22 May 2015 02:02 (ten years ago)

"It's Halloween. He just said there's aliens in New Jersey. Would you think for just a moment?"

"BUT IF IT'S ON THE RADIO THAN IT HAS TO BE TRUE!"

― pplains, Friday, 22 May 2015 02:15 (ten years ago)

I didn't see all the Rushdie reply, but I'm assuming he might have been replying to people who sent it to him saying "Is this for real?"

― Mark G, Friday, 22 May 2015 06:47 (ten years ago)

tbh Welles was really tricky in that radio had dramas and news but he was, to my knowledge, the first one to do a full-blown long-running fake news report. it was even possible people wouldn't be able to pick up another radio station to really confirm things.

― ultimate american sock (mh), Friday, 22 May 2015 13:35 (ten years ago)

tbh it said "and now another presentation by The Mercury Radio Theatre, HG Wells' etc etc" at the start, and the story about it panicking thousands of listeners was PR by Welles afterwards

― ( who ALSO my boss and his sister!) (sic), Friday, 22 May 2015 13:47 (ten years ago)

thousands was... a bit of an exaggeration

― ultimate american sock (mh), Friday, 22 May 2015 13:55 (ten years ago)

It was timed such that people turning over from a particular radio show when that finished, would pick it up in the middle and think it for real.

I have it some place on cassette, the only real clue is an 'on the street' interview which is comedy, more.

― Mark G, Friday, 22 May 2015 14:22 (ten years ago)

I heard on Radio Lab that it had to do with the most popular radio show of that era having a crappy, unpopular singer on, making a bunch of people switch over in the middle, right where WotW was at it's most newsy.

― Frederik B, Friday, 22 May 2015 14:28 (ten years ago)

Other fun stories in that show had to do with what had happened when the radio-program was redone in other parts of the world. Well, 'fun', in Bogota, I think it was, they burned down the studio, and people died.

― Frederik B, Friday, 22 May 2015 14:29 (ten years ago)

“Every day, we inflate these balloons by whispering our worst secret into them,” he continues. “Then we let the balloons carry our bad secrets up to Mischief Man, who lives in Sky Hell. Once Mischief Man receives our bad secrets, He will send the Apple Maniac out of the woods to us. If the Apple Maniac tells us that he hates democracy, that means that Mischief Man has forgiven us for our bad secrets. But if the Apple Maniac tells us that he loves bugs, then that means that Mischief Man has not forgiven us, and that we are loathsome in the eyes of Mischief Man. I’m just wild about Mischief Man."

― sktsh, Saturday, 23 May 2015 11:48 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-disney-characters-everyone-had-hots-growing-2503

― Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, 27 May 2015 17:24 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/dont-understand-bitcoin-man-will-mumble-explanatio-2537

― Evan, Wednesday, 27 May 2015 18:18 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/you-arrive-america-2435#1,

― Mark G, Friday, 29 May 2015 09:57 (ten years ago)

“Your new name is Cthulhu Yachtsman. Here are your papers.”

― koogs, Friday, 29 May 2015 09:59 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-smiths-songs-have-you-heard-2555

― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 29 May 2015 19:26 (ten years ago)

“Just once, I would like to make a game where Mario takes his shirt off, but I know that I can never do this because the date that the world will end is written on Mario’s chest.”

― a silly gif of awkward larping (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 29 May 2015 20:01 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/pMHLQrX.jpg

― Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 30 May 2015 03:21 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/16-ways-human-body-actually-unbelievable-2536

"14. Running out of sweat is the only way a human body can die."

― not a garbageman, i am garbage, man (m bison), Saturday, 30 May 2015 04:44 (ten years ago)

Oh, look, it's 'Bruce' again aka Danish prime minister candidate Lars Løkke Rasmussen. I wonder if it's timed to coincide with the Danish election in a few weeks. That running joke freaks me out every time...

― Frederik B, Saturday, 30 May 2015 11:04 (ten years ago)

damn they're on fire today

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Tuesday, 2 June 2015 20:22 (ten years ago)

different level

http://www.clickhole.com/article/incredible-listen-these-people-talk-about-worst-jo-2572

― olly, Wednesday, 3 June 2015 01:16 (ten years ago)

doris is the best, especially the way she imitates the talking baby

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Wednesday, 3 June 2015 07:23 (ten years ago)

also

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-gazebos-forever-sullied-blow-jobs-transpired-the-2492

thanks clickhole for allowing me to say "blowjob gazebo" to 2 different people today

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Wednesday, 3 June 2015 07:26 (ten years ago)

Just came here to post that. Amazing.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 3 June 2015 11:38 (ten years ago)

Never mind all that: You lot! 'fess up!

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-film-buff-2563

― Mark G, Wednesday, 3 June 2015 11:54 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/finally-family-lineage-website-just-tells-you-bull-2514

The site linked in the story works.

― Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 4 June 2015 20:56 (ten years ago)

funny when they take potshots at their sponsors:

http://i.imgur.com/bOJyz1U.png

― the geographibebebe (unregistered), Thursday, 4 June 2015 21:33 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/every-crepe-lover-will-recognize-man-who-hates-cre-2584

this is so dumb but I can't stop laughing

― DJP, Friday, 5 June 2015 13:29 (ten years ago)

The man who hates crepes belongs in Punishment World.

i recently reread the "pictures of jen larry" article and realized i love the ones that become insane sermons that end with "Amen."

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Friday, 5 June 2015 19:27 (ten years ago)

Gwyneth Paltrow Tried To Survive A Week On Food Stamps And She Died

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 8 June 2015 15:40 (ten years ago)

What Is A Nice Fruit To Have At Night?

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 9 June 2015 16:39 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/pharaohs-silicon-valley-my-journey-through-google--2618

“This is the end of our journey together,” Upright Mammal informs me as we stand once again at the front entrance of the Google headquarters. “It was a pleasure revealing the hideous miracles of Google to you. Please accept this gift to remember your time here with us.”

He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to me.

On the front is a picture of the Google Chrome logo wearing bifocals. On the back is a handwritten note that says “Sergey Brin is a marionette that Larry Page built when he was a child. He has come to life and gone mad with power. Larry is afraid of him. Everyone is afraid of him. He lays eggs. Please send the United States military to destroy this place.”

I put the note into my pocket and tell Upright Mammal that I will treasure it forever.

“Please take me away from here,” Upright Mammal says to me as we shake hands. “The Puppet hears everything. He is more powerful than nature. He is what God has nightmares about.”

I give him my business card and tell him to keep in touch.

― lag∞n, Thursday, 11 June 2015 00:08 (ten years ago)

OMG that was amazing

― schwantz, Thursday, 11 June 2015 00:19 (ten years ago)

yes

― Nhex, Thursday, 11 June 2015 05:23 (ten years ago)

inspirational

― Upright Mammal (mh), Thursday, 11 June 2015 13:46 (ten years ago)

the letters were scary

― pplains, Thursday, 11 June 2015 13:55 (ten years ago)

the videos are always my favorites

http://www.clickhole.com/video/beautiful-gay-couple-argues-parking-lot-2507

― it me, Thursday, 11 June 2015 17:36 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-types-boyfriend-every-woman-goes-through-2582

― mookieproof, Friday, 12 June 2015 17:13 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/two-faces-face-should-have-been-divided-horizontal-2616

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Tuesday, 16 June 2015 19:09 (ten years ago)

The article tags at the end are often as funny as the content above it

― not a garbageman, i am garbage, man (m bison), Tuesday, 16 June 2015 19:18 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/D0QqG4g.png

― gr8080, Tuesday, 16 June 2015 22:48 (ten years ago)

Still, as fond as my memories of my dad are, my thoughts each year on Father’s Day are invariably tinged with pain, since it also happens to be the birthday of the bear that killed and ate my late father.

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 19 June 2015 18:50 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/disgusting-isis-just-released-2-star-review-aeropl-2620

― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 22 June 2015 16:41 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/use-sliders-brush-these-cute-boys-bangs-side-2577

― gr8080, Monday, 22 June 2015 22:35 (ten years ago)

that is extraordinarily satisfying

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 22 June 2015 22:42 (ten years ago)

hang on wait, what is the correlation between the silicon valley one and mh's username??

― I ain't got no bites / Bad itches is the only thing that I like (dog latin), Tuesday, 23 June 2015 13:21 (ten years ago)

I was the tour guide

― Upright Mammal (mh), Tuesday, 23 June 2015 14:08 (ten years ago)

Yes! The Sky!

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Wednesday, 24 June 2015 11:38 (ten years ago)

If you’re looking to go all the way with a Middle English poetry nut, just tell them all about how Chaucer was imprisoned and ransomed for a large sum during the Hundred Years’ War, and they’ll be ripping off your clothes and taking you to Fuckville in no time.

― goole, Wednesday, 24 June 2015 15:40 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/crazy-fan-theory-about-jeopardy-actually-makes-tot-2627

― papa was a rolling stoner retro psych space thread (Drugs A. Money), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 14:47 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/embarrassing-us-ranked-182nd-world-alphabetically-1855?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 2 July 2015 19:11 (ten years ago)

So has Clickhole really reduced its updates or what?

― emil.y, Monday, 6 July 2015 22:55 (ten years ago)

they took last week off but other than that no

― ciderpress, Monday, 6 July 2015 22:57 (ten years ago)

Oh, is there a reason for that? (Now I'm worried that there is a really obvious reason and I'm an idiot.)

― emil.y, Monday, 6 July 2015 23:06 (ten years ago)

not really? friday was a holiday in the US but that's not really a reason to drop the whole week.

― ciderpress, Monday, 6 July 2015 23:07 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/inspiring-when-johnny-depp-heard-8-year-old-fan-wa-2658

― goole, Tuesday, 7 July 2015 17:17 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/dont-have-dice-handy-dice-simulator-gives-you-numb-2710

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 16:05 (ten years ago)

lol

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 16:29 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/pants-these-nerds-2326?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 20:53 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/cartoon-does-bad-job-explaining-what-privilege-2683

― a chamillionaire full of mallomars (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 9 July 2015 14:43 (ten years ago)

crossover/worlds collide

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/what-i-assume-honore-de-balzac-thought-after-drinking-each-of-his-fifty-daily-cups-of-coffee

― Tlon, Uqbar, Morbius Tertius (silby), Friday, 10 July 2015 02:40 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/11-microbrews-you-have-try-summer-423

― goole, Monday, 13 July 2015 16:11 (ten years ago)

still think the earlier collegehumor version of that article was better tbh

― and she's baconing like she's never baconed before (DJ Mencap), Monday, 13 July 2015 16:29 (ten years ago)

megan fox out-clickholes clickhole:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CJ6K-ZDWUAA8tvd.jpg

― Merdeyeux, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 23:02 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-addicted-lunch-2724

― scott seward, Wednesday, 15 July 2015 02:49 (ten years ago)

I consider America’s national pastime to be shaking your fist at the Northern Lights and shouting “You would be more beautiful if you were Lunch instead of some kind of gorgeous neon sky miracle!”

― scott seward, Wednesday, 15 July 2015 02:49 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/JWcsEws.png

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 July 2015 03:04 (ten years ago)

i unlocked that badge too where did u put yours i put mine on my lapel

― not a garbageman, i am garbage, man (m bison), Wednesday, 15 July 2015 03:11 (ten years ago)

its at the framer

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 July 2015 14:38 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-words-have-no-english-translation-2762

dying

― wisdom be leakin out my louche douche truths (k3vin k.), Friday, 17 July 2015 03:28 (ten years ago)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/evanc4cb10fef2/what-8-disney-princesses-would-look-like-if-they-w-1pr1s

just posted to buzzfeed by a friend of mine - clearly in the "clickhole spirit" IMHO

― Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Friday, 17 July 2015 19:26 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-disney-princesses-reimagined-caucasian-698

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 17 July 2015 19:32 (ten years ago)

I heard the iguana burst, and I got right up close to the keyhole so that I could feel the hot sneem on my face.

― brimstead, Friday, 17 July 2015 20:02 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-team-member-jo-ann-fabric-craft-jacksonville-557

― example (crüt), Thursday, 23 July 2015 12:05 (ten years ago)

i'm lanna. seems otm

― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 23 July 2015 12:09 (ten years ago)

I got melody but I think if I'd've vacationed in Maine in the autumn it might have been different

― Joan Crawford Loves Chachi, Thursday, 23 July 2015 12:15 (ten years ago)

i got melody and chose maine in the autumn

― balls, Thursday, 23 July 2015 22:30 (ten years ago)

I am also Melody

― Upright Mammal (mh), Thursday, 23 July 2015 23:51 (ten years ago)

freaked out because that post is not tagged with WOW

― mookieproof, Friday, 24 July 2015 00:01 (ten years ago)

Carol here

― go hang a salami I'm a canal, adam (silby), Friday, 24 July 2015 01:54 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/arent-those-my-clothes-paul-2815

― lag∞n, Saturday, 25 July 2015 13:15 (ten years ago)

its kind of lol how in so many clickhole photos/videos i can recognize the tiny park around the corner from their offices

http://i.imgur.com/bTdj9R3.jpg

― D-30 (gr8080), Monday, 27 July 2015 14:24 (ten years ago)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/evanc4cb10fef2/what-8-disney-princesses-would-look-like-if-they-w-1pr1s

just posted to buzzfeed by a friend of mine - clearly in the "clickhole spirit" IMHO

― Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Friday, 17 July 2015 19:26 (1 week ago) Permalink

I have seen buzzfeed a few times try to show their *sense of fun* by doing clickhole-style pieces, like "hey guys, we're in on the joke, we get it!"

― five six and (man alive), Monday, 27 July 2015 14:47 (ten years ago)

It's confusing cause I guess you can have a "buzzfeed blog" now or something? Like that thing my friend did wasn't like, "for" BuzzFeed, or "by" Buzzfeed. I think.

― Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Monday, 27 July 2015 14:54 (ten years ago)

lol did buzzfeed go kinja

― D-30 (gr8080), Monday, 27 July 2015 15:04 (ten years ago)

I don’t hate you for telling me it was cool to break your glass, and I want our friendship to continue. You’re only human, and sometimes you’re going to say or do the wrong thing after I carelessly destroy your possessions.

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/dont-tell-me-its-cool-i-broke-your-drinking-glass--2804

― Je55e, Monday, 27 July 2015 22:26 (ten years ago)

lol

― gawker's psychotic monkeys (imago), Monday, 27 July 2015 22:29 (ten years ago)

It's confusing cause I guess you can have a "buzzfeed blog" now or something? Like that thing my friend did wasn't like, "for" BuzzFeed, or "by" Buzzfeed. I think.

― Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Monday, July 27, 2015 10:54 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol did buzzfeed go kinja

― D-30 (gr8080), Monday, July 27, 2015 11:04 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

anyones always been able to post to buzzfeed since maybe the whole time? or at least most of the time

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 28 July 2015 04:53 (ten years ago)

I have seen buzzfeed a few times try to show their *sense of fun* by doing clickhole-style pieces, like "hey guys, we're in on the joke, we get it!"

― five six and (man alive), Monday, July 27, 2015 10:47 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they just do anything, buzzfeed is a traffic generation laboratory they dont care

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 28 July 2015 04:54 (ten years ago)

funnyjokes community buzzfeed posts predate clickhole

― qualx, Tuesday, 28 July 2015 06:19 (ten years ago)

I soooooo hope this will be good:
http://splitsider.com/2015/07/the-onion-has-a-vice-parody-in-the-works-called-edge/

― five six and (man alive), Wednesday, 29 July 2015 20:38 (ten years ago)

https://twitter.com/ChaseVaughnEDGE/status/626045586890997760

― gr8080, Wednesday, 29 July 2015 21:03 (ten years ago)

okay I'm all in

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Thursday, 30 July 2015 14:36 (ten years ago)

lol at atrocity tip line

― chinavision!, Thursday, 30 July 2015 14:51 (ten years ago)

Let's get fucked on truth

― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 30 July 2015 17:09 (ten years ago)

vice just as worthy a target as buzzfeed imo,

they should do a CHIVE type website next

― gr8080, Thursday, 30 July 2015 18:36 (ten years ago)

Gaper on the way

― let's not get too excited w/ the ouches (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 30 July 2015 18:37 (ten years ago)

ew

― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 30 July 2015 19:23 (ten years ago)

i report, you decide

― let's not get too excited w/ the ouches (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 30 July 2015 19:54 (ten years ago)

This is slightly OTT response but makes a fair point:

http://www.welldonemarketing.com/2015/07/i-clicked-on-an-ad-in-the-onion-what-happened-next-was-shocking/

― Chuck_Tatum, Monday, 3 August 2015 11:46 (ten years ago)

the dairy industry is really fucking evil fwiw

― welltris (crüt), Monday, 3 August 2015 11:51 (ten years ago)

so's the marketing industry tbf

― the lion tweets tonight (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 August 2015 11:54 (ten years ago)

The evil's less in the campaign (although it's there too) than the ambiguity with which its delivered

― Chuck_Tatum, Monday, 3 August 2015 12:33 (ten years ago)

I would never have thought 'dairy good' was anything but an Onion joke

― kinder, Monday, 3 August 2015 16:15 (ten years ago)

Maybe onion is doing a longform dairy industry burn, like in October, they'll do a "sike dairy is poison' expose

― not a garbageman, i am garbage, man (m bison), Monday, 3 August 2015 18:45 (ten years ago)

In the gawkergate era, nothing is incorruptible.

― five six and (man alive), Monday, 3 August 2015 18:58 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/its-our-duty-support-troops-and-second-amendment-c-1929

― welltris (crüt), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 19:15 (ten years ago)

lol

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 5 August 2015 19:19 (ten years ago)

amazing

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 19:28 (ten years ago)

apropos re Jade Helm nonsense

― a silly gif of awkward larping (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 19:28 (ten years ago)

so good

― Modern French Music from Failure to Boulez (askance johnson), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 19:55 (ten years ago)

this got me good

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-dont-let-my-kids-watch-winnie-pooh-because-i-don-2842

― goole, Wednesday, 5 August 2015 20:16 (ten years ago)

that is incredible

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 20:19 (ten years ago)

began dying @ this point:

“But what do you let your kids watch?” you might ask. I’d much rather my kids watch the fuck machine named Big Bird. Big Bird is the towering human bird from PBS who you can tell is just constantly fucking. He’s got that swagger. There are a lot of good lessons children can learn from a major-league pussy-crusher like Big Bird, such as the importance of confidence, courage, and friendship.

― five six and (man alive), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 20:25 (ten years ago)

I lost it at 'impressive sex duck'

― a silly gif of awkward larping (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 20:27 (ten years ago)

"the cunning potato named arthur" verged on the homeric

― playlists of pensive swift (difficult listening hour), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 20:32 (ten years ago)

"Winnie the Pooh, on the other hand, wouldn’t know the first thing about courage. If he were on United Airlines Flight 93, for example, not only would he have not joined the revolt against the terrorists, but he probably would’ve gotten down on his yellow knees and sucked the terrorists’ cocks one by one. “Oh, bother!” he would shrug as the al-Qaeda operatives drilled the back of his throat with their pube-slathered ding-dongs."

oh shit

― akm, Wednesday, 5 August 2015 21:44 (ten years ago)

let me big bird that for you

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 5 August 2015 23:35 (ten years ago)

Argh, okay. I don't tend to watch the videos but I think I just got one of the 'wrong' videos on the This Man Manages to Feel Anxious Even Though Nothing is Wrong one. I guess there's no way of getting it back, the urls seem to be the same?

― emil.y, Thursday, 6 August 2015 01:00 (ten years ago)

https://scontent-lga1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/11822434_1617686031804990_6656057541509061680_n.jpg?oh=75b325563ef634e7584096a7ea4527d5&oe=56548C93

― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 6 August 2015 01:50 (ten years ago)

If you just keep reloading the page, you can usually get the "wrong" videos to pop up eventually. They seem to only be attached to those ones starring that one "This Man" guy, but each one of those videos has its own different "wrong" video for it.

― Sharia Law and Lambchop (The Yellow Kid), Thursday, 6 August 2015 02:59 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-need-everyones-t-shirt-size-2872?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

― a silly gif of awkward larping (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 7 August 2015 18:36 (ten years ago)

Filled it out

― go hang a salami I'm a canal, adam (silby), Friday, 7 August 2015 19:58 (ten years ago)

when i clicked earlier today it was a surveymonkey link then when i re-loaded an hour or so later it had changed in to a google spreadsheet (iirc surveymonkey charges $$ once you hit a certain number of respondents)

also kind of curious if the author of that post listened to the same podcast ep i listened to this morning https://gimletmedia.com/episode/34-dmv-nation/

― gr8080, Friday, 7 August 2015 20:22 (ten years ago)

(It specifically gets in to the bureaucratic legalities wrt the White House polling citizens)

― gr8080, Friday, 7 August 2015 20:46 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/incredible-lewis-and-clarks-sketches-animals-they--2924

http://i.onionstatic.com/clickhole/1712/6/original/640.jpg

― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Tuesday, 11 August 2015 16:44 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/oof-watch-guy-get-kicked-right-crunchbasket-2915?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 12 August 2015 02:24 (ten years ago)

Sometimes their dumb simple stuff is just the best

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, 12 August 2015 12:33 (ten years ago)

http://www.gofundme.com/2jc4yga2s

― koogs, Tuesday, 18 August 2015 13:02 (ten years ago)

that is wonderful

I neglected to read the rewards before, lol

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Tuesday, 18 August 2015 13:52 (ten years ago)

clickhole is on one

― not a garbageman, i am garbage, man (m bison), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 03:44 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-notes-movie-studio-executives-ruined-would-be-cl-2947

― where the sterls have no name (s.clover), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 14:47 (ten years ago)

I would pay $$$ to see that version of Armageddon

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 16:06 (ten years ago)

ditto

― balls, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 16:11 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-moms-doing-their-best-transgender-movement-2812

― kinder, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 18:07 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-metallica-songs-have-you-heard-2905

― scott seward, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 23:09 (ten years ago)

the Armageddon write-up has me laughing like a drain

― Yul Brynner playing table tennis with a deviled kidney (imago), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 23:15 (ten years ago)

fantastic metallica songs!

― oh, i am a lonlely poster. i live in a box of posts. (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 20 August 2015 04:24 (ten years ago)

“Ominous Cup”

― sir van groot (alomar lines), Thursday, 20 August 2015 04:42 (ten years ago)

irl lols here: http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-magic-school-bus-books-have-you-rea-2980

The Magic School Bus Sucks A Boa Constrictor Into Its Tailpipe Like Spaghetti

― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Thursday, 20 August 2015 18:56 (ten years ago)

Ouch! Looks like you aren’t a fan of the Magic School Bus series at all. You missed out on all the adventures of Ms. Frizzle and her class when you were growing up, from The Magic School Bus Inside The Mind Of Philip Glass to The Magic School Bus Has To Take Lincoln To Ford’s Theatre. Too bad.

― welltris (crüt), Thursday, 20 August 2015 19:08 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/someone-overdubbed-godfather-donkey-kong-soundtrac-2894

This is so good.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 21 August 2015 02:05 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/lucky-be-alive-harrison-ford-had-be-rescued-after--2901

a good article but nothing that follows can live up to the sentence "From what we know right now, Ford entered the office supply manufacturing facility early yesterday afternoon after having smelled what he thought was pie."

― Merdeyeux, Friday, 21 August 2015 12:31 (ten years ago)

Will You Kiss My Friend Parthik?

You Will Not Kiss My Friend Parthik!

Oh, no! You’re not going to kiss Parthik! Why? He tried to make the world so romantic for you and you rejected him with the cruel heart of a mean monster. How terrible! Now, loneliness will blanket Parthik like snow in the night. Parthik will drown in his solitude, and only I will remember him. You have mean, stingy lips. Amen.

― goole, Friday, 28 August 2015 15:45 (ten years ago)

Sex-Positive Culture Still Has A Long Way To Go Before It Catches Up With My Weird And Baffling Penis

Please know that it’s not my intention to undermine the significant impact that the sex-positive movement has had on our culture. I’m simply saying that we still have a few more decades to go before we as a society can accept my cock, which looks like M.C. Escher tried to paint the Holocaust.

― help computer (sleepingbag), Tuesday, 1 September 2015 23:10 (ten years ago)

stunning

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/you-are-worlds-greatest-computer-hacker-2945

― the late great, Saturday, 5 September 2015 08:19 (ten years ago)

this might be the best one yet

― Yul Brynner playing table tennis with a deviled kidney (imago), Saturday, 5 September 2015 12:13 (ten years ago)

its a tour de force

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 06:02 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-lifeguards-about-life-they-most-regret-3051

― insufficiently familiar with xgau's work to comment intelligently (BradNelson), Thursday, 10 September 2015 22:14 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/americas-mad-scientist-24-hours-elon-musk-3015

― mookieproof, Friday, 11 September 2015 00:00 (ten years ago)

The lifeguard one is masterful.

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 11 September 2015 01:36 (ten years ago)

www.clickhole.com/slideshow/next-week-clickhole-3067#slide2

― balls, Friday, 11 September 2015 02:11 (ten years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/MPTSU3H.jpg

― gr8080, Friday, 11 September 2015 19:22 (ten years ago)

Roberts is famous for refusing to learn the name of anyone in the cast or crew of the projects she works on, instead using the name “Marco Tungsten” for all men and “Marca Tungsten” for all women. “I’m just being nice,” said the Pretty Woman star when asked about her behavior. “Those names are the ones people should have.”

― qualx, Sunday, 13 September 2015 03:58 (ten years ago)

http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/how-to-make-your-hair-look-wet-3122 omg

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 14 September 2015 22:05 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/whoa-jk-rowling-just-revealed-philip-seymour-hoffm-3083

O_O

― goole, Thursday, 17 September 2015 16:54 (ten years ago)

oh my...

http://www.clickhole.com/article/princess-diana-3106

― scott seward, Tuesday, 22 September 2015 01:50 (ten years ago)

omg was not ready for gta piano car to pop up

― balls, Tuesday, 22 September 2015 01:57 (ten years ago)

this gave me a few hearty chuckles

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-things-people-tattoos-are-tired-hearing-3105

― davey, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 22:14 (ten years ago)

Well done! By using operant conditioning and an intermittent reward schedule, you have made your dad talk to you about the weather at your whim. Because he does not know when you will reward him with a peanut, he is conditioned to talk to you for at least as long as you have peanuts, like a slobbering dog.

Congratulations

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 24 September 2015 19:33 (ten years ago)

https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/photos/a.1461385317435063.1073741828.1439042583002670/1544772042429723/?type=3

didn't some ilxor do a version of this at some point

― Merdeyeux, Sunday, 27 September 2015 19:39 (ten years ago)

also i always love the ones with carefully prepared accompanying photographs

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-secret-mcdonalds-menu-items-you-have-order-888

― Merdeyeux, Sunday, 27 September 2015 19:40 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/can-you-keep-conversation-your-dad-3097#8,

oh my godddddddd this is incredible, the matchstick men thread is amazing

― zoso def (m bison), Sunday, 27 September 2015 20:05 (ten years ago)

brilliant

― Nhex, Sunday, 27 September 2015 20:35 (ten years ago)

“This next one takes place in the mind of Stonewall Jackson. The main character is Percy, a blood clot who is determined to kill Stonewall Jackson, because Percy was born in Boston and supports the Union. Opposing him is Martha, Stonewall Jackson’s amygdala, who was born in Atlanta and is a scintillating and voluptuous Southern belle. The two end up falling in love—but a bullet has other plans.”

― Je55e, Sunday, 27 September 2015 20:36 (ten years ago)

Probably some high school groundskeeper will heave open a floodlight breaker box switch to reveal a nighttime astroturf oasis of cold aluminum bleachers and steamed human bodies primed for sport while in the pitch-black crop fields a solemn figure performs the homecoming dance alone to himself.

― ciderpress, Wednesday, 30 September 2015 16:35 (ten years ago)

http://www.starwipe.com/

― goole, Wednesday, 30 September 2015 20:54 (ten years ago)

HLN appears to be the cable news equivalent of clickhole

― μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 30 September 2015 20:55 (ten years ago)

starwipe on first perusal... :/

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 30 September 2015 20:57 (ten years ago)

What a beautiful, beautiful name for a tabloid.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 30 September 2015 20:58 (ten years ago)

I thought for a second that starwipe was a clickhole parody of a terrible clickhole rip-off, but it really is a terrible clickhole rip-off, right?

― soref, Wednesday, 30 September 2015 21:00 (ten years ago)

Finally learned who the fuck Tyler Fucking Oakley is.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 30 September 2015 21:01 (ten years ago)

I lold a bit

Gavin Rossdale Needs Half Of Gwen Stefani’s Money Even Though I Bought Two Copies Of Sixteen Stone

― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Wednesday, 30 September 2015 22:20 (ten years ago)

I thought for a second that starwipe was a clickhole parody of a terrible clickhole rip-off, but it really is a terrible clickhole rip-off, right?

― soref, Wednesday, September 30, 2015 4:00 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Neither, it's an actual Onion site.

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 30 September 2015 22:25 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/these-third-graders-letters-their-teacher-about-ho-3042

― Number None, Thursday, 1 October 2015 23:03 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/11-things-all-women-who-lift-weights-are-sick-hear-3216

"Will you sign a poster for my young feminist son, Charbon?"

― goole, Friday, 2 October 2015 18:52 (ten years ago)

The puzzle of this is thought of in basic biology and Egg science, and it’s obvious. The house of the water of an Egg is contained within the shackles of two halves of a stone bone prison in regard to an Egg, and it’s the wet desert inside of it that floods it until it becomes dry or, to put it another way, it makes the Egg happen until we understand why it came from it (them) to do it to us, as an Egg in both ways and one of the famous styles. Thanks for asking!

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/what-your-knowledge-egg-3213

― scott seward, Friday, 2 October 2015 19:00 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/thought-provoking-video-shows-what-world-would-be--3246

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 9 October 2015 20:23 (ten years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CRYQBGXUcAIOfYP.jpg

― mookieproof, Thursday, 15 October 2015 19:59 (ten years ago)

http://clickotron.com/

― can't stop won't stop chooglin (how's life), Saturday, 17 October 2015 17:24 (ten years ago)

All articles on Click-o-Tron are written by a Recurrent Neural Network, a technology from artificial intelligence research that is well suited to generating text. While some stories are clearly nonsense, others may appear to make sense. They probably don't though – no human was involved in writing any of these. Since these stories are dreamed up by a computer algorithm, they are essentially fiction and overlap with reality only incidentally.

― jason waterfalls (gbx), Saturday, 17 October 2015 18:02 (ten years ago)

incredible

― zoso def (m bison), Saturday, 17 October 2015 18:50 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/can-you-keep-conversation-your-dad-3097#8,

oh my godddddddd this is incredible, the matchstick men thread is amazing

― zoso def (m bison), Sunday, September 27, 2015 4:05 PM (2 weeks ago)

i really just want to repost this in case it was missed by anyone. because i can't breathe rn

― k3vin k., Saturday, 17 October 2015 19:01 (ten years ago)

http://clickotron.com/
― can't stop won't stop chooglin (how's life), Saturday, October 17, 2015 12:24 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Amazing.

http://clickotron.com/images/23382769main.jpg

― JRN, Saturday, 17 October 2015 21:27 (ten years ago)

Whoops, I mean

http://i.imgur.com/P6hzohO.png

― JRN, Saturday, 17 October 2015 21:29 (ten years ago)

To generate clickbait, we’ll train such an RNN on ~2,000,000 headlines, scraped from Buzzfeed, Gawker, Jezebel, Huffington Post and Upworthy.

How realistic can we expect the output of this model to be? Even if it can learn to generate text with correct syntax and grammar, it surely can’t produce headlines that contain any new knowledge of the real world? It can’t do reporting? This may be true, but it’s not clear that clickbait needs to have any relation to the real world in order to be successful. When this work was begun, the top story on BuzzFeed was “50 Disney Channel Original Movies, Ranked By Feminism“. More recently they published “22 Faces Everyone Who Has Pooped Will Immediately Recognized“. It’s not clear that these headlines are much more than a semi-random concatenation of topics their userbase likes, and as seen in the latter case, 100% correct grammar is not a requirement.

― scarlett bohansson (unregistered), Saturday, 17 October 2015 22:12 (ten years ago)

i expect that to show up on facebook a fair amount in the near future

― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 18 October 2015 04:40 (ten years ago)

I just found out today that the reason Sean Oneal hasn't been writing AVClub Newswire bits for months is b/c he's EiC of StarWipe. His style has transferred over intact.

http://www.starwipe.com/article/charlie-sheen-falsely-accused-building-sex-robot-y-817

― Purves Grundy (kingfish), Monday, 19 October 2015 19:00 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/awesome-man-can-list-nearly-every-back-future-movi-3356

and this is really just for the headline, but still great headline

http://www.clickhole.com/article/about-time-woman-will-finally-be-featured-mans-bac-3266

― big WHOIS aka the nameserver (s.clover), Thursday, 22 October 2015 20:23 (ten years ago)

My Grandmother’s Cello Is Also A Guy

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-hayao-miyazaki-films-have-you-seen-3352

― scott seward, Friday, 23 October 2015 23:23 (ten years ago)

The Mask That Cared For The Elderly

― scott seward, Friday, 23 October 2015 23:24 (ten years ago)

Woof. Looks like you’ve barely ever even seen a single animated epic from the land of the rising sun. You’re missing out on classics like Taki’s Iron Lung and The Frog Auctioneer. Drop by an anime society meeting at your local community college and try this quiz again.

― scott seward, Friday, 23 October 2015 23:25 (ten years ago)

the can you get over your ex thing is not quite as good as having a conversation with your dad one but it's close

― you too could be called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (jim in glasgow), Friday, 23 October 2015 23:27 (ten years ago)

i made my gf take that quiz and she got to "Fucked II Death: Revenants Rising" before she realized it was a put on

― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 24 October 2015 02:03 (ten years ago)

haha

― Purves Grundy (kingfish), Saturday, 24 October 2015 05:05 (ten years ago)

LOL!

― schwantz, Saturday, 24 October 2015 17:57 (ten years ago)

haven't really loved starwipe until this:
http://www.starwipe.com/quiz/how-fucking-annoying-are-you-about-benedict-cumber-1005

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 5 November 2015 03:33 (ten years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CTD1oHxWwAAeB1z.jpg

― lag∞n, Thursday, 5 November 2015 16:05 (ten years ago)

Ha, I had no idea Cumberbitches were a thing.

― EveningStar (Sund4r), Thursday, 5 November 2015 17:44 (ten years ago)

This is pretty good:

http://www.starwipe.com/list/eye-style-scientology-member-who-wants-out-1085

― the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Thursday, 5 November 2015 17:54 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-salads-more-calories-big-mac-3357

― iatee, Friday, 6 November 2015 04:48 (ten years ago)

aaahahaha best clickhole in a while. the graphic for the fruit cup one is aces.

― Frump 'n' Dump (Doctor Casino), Friday, 6 November 2015 04:50 (ten years ago)

ehh one time was enough for the gimmick of going to McDs, buying a bunch of sandwiches, mashing them up, taking some photos and calling it a day

― Nhex, Friday, 6 November 2015 06:32 (ten years ago)

yeah but this is parodying a different 'type' of article i think

― Frump 'n' Dump (Doctor Casino), Friday, 6 November 2015 06:52 (ten years ago)

secret menu vs eat this not that

― balls, Saturday, 7 November 2015 00:14 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clean-eating

― polyphonic, Monday, 9 November 2015 21:57 (ten years ago)

^^^^^ this is one of the greatest things they've ever done

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Monday, 9 November 2015 21:58 (ten years ago)

not unlike
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWgwJfbeCeU

― kinder, Monday, 9 November 2015 22:23 (ten years ago)

too dark at the end, but outstanding throughout

― Rich Homie Quan Poor Homie Quan (m bison), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 03:25 (ten years ago)

http://i.onionstatic.com/clickhole/2220/8/16x9/640.jpg

― iatee, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 04:52 (ten years ago)

(that's a 'next week on clickhole' picture)

― iatee, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 04:53 (ten years ago)

You try to run from Fenway Park, but it’s no use. Fenway Park uses his magic to turn you into this statue of Ted Williams stealing a little boy’s hat. For the rest of eternity, people come by Fenway Park, point at this statue, and tell their children, “That’s why you always marry Fenway Park.”

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 15:58 (ten years ago)

hate to say it, but jeb bush hitler baby story kinda trumps the ol' 'hole this week.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 16:09 (ten years ago)

my OH, who does not keep up with social media, went to the US this week and sent me a photo of Fox news on the TV displaying the caption 'bush: hell yeah I'd kill baby Hitler' with the message 'i have no idea what is going on'

― kinder, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 18:24 (ten years ago)

welcome to our fair country

― μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 18:39 (ten years ago)

lol when I moved there first time everything on TV was constant coverage of that balloon boy; tbh I was also 'i have no idea what is going on' then too

― kinder, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 18:57 (ten years ago)

to be fair, neither did anyone else

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 19:11 (ten years ago)

o'er the land of the freeeeeeeee,
no ideeeeeea what's goin' on

― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 19:24 (ten years ago)

http://i.onionstatic.com/clickhole/5609/original/608.jpg

― lag∞n, Thursday, 12 November 2015 20:59 (ten years ago)

http://i.onionstatic.com/clickhole/5610/original/608.jpg

― lag∞n, Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:00 (ten years ago)

feel like i mightve posted these before itt but they r so good

― lag∞n, Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:00 (ten years ago)

do not recall seeing anything completely garbage on here before but this is completely garbage
http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-things-only-computer-programmers-will-understand-3513

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 13 November 2015 21:56 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/my-infant-son-has-43-rotten-tomatoes-does-anyone-k-3497

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 00:59 (ten years ago)

https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/videos/vb.1439042583002670/1648336595406600/?type=2&theater

― Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 18 November 2015 00:38 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/jim-hensons-newly-discovered-journal-reveals-muppe-3483

― schwantz, Wednesday, 18 November 2015 01:09 (ten years ago)

That's my shit, fake origins stories is my bread and butter

― Rich Homie Quan Poor Homie Quan (m bison), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 02:29 (ten years ago)

http://www.cafe.com/cafe-investigation-whats-going-on-in-rep-louie-gohmerts-head/

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 04:29 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/diversify-these-workplaces-3459

― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 13:58 (ten years ago)

omg that is amazing

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 14:45 (ten years ago)

took me a minute to get the joke there, brilliant

― Nhex, Wednesday, 18 November 2015 17:15 (ten years ago)

rivals the "these pictures will drive perfectionists crazy" listicle

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 17:26 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/so-good-baristas-pull-amazing-prank-their-manager-3522?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― k3vin k., Thursday, 19 November 2015 02:16 (ten years ago)

http://www.starwipe.com/article/john-travolta-regrets-wrong-thing-1228

― Karl Rove Knausgård (jim in glasgow), Friday, 20 November 2015 21:33 (ten years ago)

str8 gigglin

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/please-allow-these-gentlemen-show-you-their-bells-3411

― goole, Tuesday, 24 November 2015 17:19 (ten years ago)

that must have been the most fun photo shoot

― goole, Tuesday, 24 November 2015 17:20 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/find-out-what-adele-slash-and-martha-stewart-have--3562

a strong entry in this series

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, 25 November 2015 17:48 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/can-you-match-child-reason-they-were-put-adoption-3531

― gr8080, Monday, 30 November 2015 18:21 (ten years ago)

okay no

― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Monday, 30 November 2015 22:43 (ten years ago)

okay YES

― davey, Tuesday, 1 December 2015 08:25 (ten years ago)

Even if I didn't have personal reasons for finding that distasteful, it's just not funny.

― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 15:04 (ten years ago)

I'm with DJP on this one -- seemed hurtful and I don't get what the target is.

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 15:22 (ten years ago)

Then again I loved the one with two diff lifeguards saving Timothy McVeigh and a lot of my facebook friends did not appreciate that one.

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 15:23 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-incredible-ways-eat-eggs-any-meal-3501

biggest laugh of the last fortnight. n.b. i am silly

― avant-garde, sissy bounce, zombie rave, aquacrunk, warlock, oceangrunge, (imago), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 15:29 (ten years ago)

don't pretend you haven't attempted no.4, imago

― kinder, Tuesday, 1 December 2015 15:45 (ten years ago)

That one kind of reminds me of Joan Cornella

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 15:50 (ten years ago)

irl lol, thx :)

― niels, Wednesday, 2 December 2015 22:52 (ten years ago)

John McCain (Republican presidential candidate): Everyone loved the fact that I had flown into the sky and slept in a foreign town and performed a war about flags. But what they loved most was how after mentioning these things I would say, “That’s how it was, but now I’m back. And I’m standing here filled to the brim with saliva, and I need to go to the hospital.”

http://www.clickhole.com/article/oral-history-2000-election-3550

― scott seward, Monday, 7 December 2015 17:57 (ten years ago)

George W. Bush: Still I can’t and won’t understand my mind about the election which is one day from now, and no I haven’t known what will or won’t come to pass in the Millennium Choice, or whether there is a memory now, and it’s impossible to tell. Here is a guess: 15 years ago I will be a candidate, then perhaps there will come an impossible labyrinth and I will solve it with my smile and at last 14 years years ago I will hope to be a president, which might happen, and I don’t know.

― scott seward, Monday, 7 December 2015 17:59 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/war-christmas-historically-black-churches-south-ke-3568

damn, ClickHole

― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Monday, 7 December 2015 18:01 (ten years ago)

Dick Cheney: It’s cliché to say that Florida is the dual action problem peninsula where throbbing neon beach berserkers live mere miles from decrepit suntan cousins twice removed, but it’s true, and it was key to the election.

― scott seward, Monday, 7 December 2015 18:02 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-cat-gifs-blind-3576

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 10 December 2015 16:31 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-librarians-about-most-italian-guy-they-3642

― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Thursday, 10 December 2015 17:23 (ten years ago)

loved both of those

― Nhex, Thursday, 10 December 2015 20:18 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/find-out-what-joanna-newsom-bryan-cranston-and-dr--3663

― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Friday, 11 December 2015 18:51 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-badass-female-mma-fighters-who-better-not-try-cr-3654

― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Monday, 14 December 2015 19:41 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-librarians-about-most-italian-guy-they-3642

― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Thursday, December 10, 2015 12:23 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This one is fantastic, and it also perfectly follows the formula of the lifeguard one, which somehow only made it funnier for me.

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 14 December 2015 20:28 (ten years ago)

I think that's sorta the point!

http://www.clickhole.com/search?tags=22

(favourite for me is http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-priests-whats-heaviest-thing-they-ever-2316 )

― écorché (S-), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (ten years ago)

lol #6, #9 and #22 are the same guy

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:01 (ten years ago)

yeah theres like a dozen of that article and they all have the exact same formula but it doesn't stop them from being funny somehow

― ciderpress, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:24 (ten years ago)

this one is kind of an inversion of the form though http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-pilots-where-skydivers-go-when-they-ju-2395

― ciderpress, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:26 (ten years ago)

Yeah the first one I ever read actually was the first one "We Asked 22 Women What Bats Taste Like And Most Of Them Didn’t Know But 2 Of Them Did"

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:41 (ten years ago)

yeah theres like a dozen of that article and they all have the exact same formula but it doesn't stop them from being funny somehow

― ciderpress, Tuesday, December 15, 2015 10:24 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you only eagerly anticipate the two or three that actually answer the weird question. It's like they stumbled onto some way more advanced version of the comedy rule of 3.

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:42 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/houses-amazing-christmas-lights-display-set-coffee-3665

― gr8080, Thursday, 17 December 2015 17:33 (ten years ago)

lol

― dynamicinterface, Thursday, 17 December 2015 19:50 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/youre-santa-can-you-master-sleigh-and-deliver-gift-3631#3,

― you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Thursday, 17 December 2015 20:28 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/home-holidays-8-high-school-friends-you-always-run-1635

― big WHOIS aka the nameserver (s.clover), Friday, 18 December 2015 18:54 (ten years ago)

yeah thats a good one. also v much enjoyed 'how your mom explains your job' piece

― LEGIT (Lamp), Friday, 18 December 2015 20:16 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/incredible-watch-man-realize-one-person-he-really--3406

cute little Easter egg: if you reload this video a few times, you'll see the bald bearded man lying naked on his bed and palpating a steel rod with his toes while he whispers, 'I'm waiting for you...my friend...my friend"

― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Friday, 18 December 2015 21:14 (ten years ago)

cute

― Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 18 December 2015 21:23 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/heartwarming-american-and-isis-forces-came-togethe-3635

― iatee, Saturday, 26 December 2015 00:48 (ten years ago)

i was delighted to click on this headline and see that it was a video, and it met my expectations

http://www.clickhole.com/video/5-foods-youve-been-eating-completely-wrong-1358

― lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Saturday, 26 December 2015 02:09 (ten years ago)

fucking hell
http://www.clickhole.com/article/latest-attack-isis-created-lamb-chop-puppet-realis-3637

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 7 January 2016 02:55 (ten years ago)

A+

― schwantz, Thursday, 7 January 2016 05:13 (ten years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-things-women-wish-men-would-do-during-sex-3800

okay lol

― Very selfish, and very ironic (DJP), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 21:19 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBUedM4PWpk

got a Blue Jam vibe from that

― a moment on the streets, a lifetime in the sheets (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 21:31 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/problem-flash-why-doesnt-flash-hike-appalachian-tr-3775

― Option ARMs and de Man (s.clover), Tuesday, 19 January 2016 15:20 (nine years ago)

loved that

― jason waterfalls (gbx), Wednesday, 20 January 2016 01:07 (nine years ago)

this is one of the best of the 22 series i think http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-tv-critics-whats-their-favorite-episod-3766

― Option ARMs and de Man (s.clover), Wednesday, 20 January 2016 03:23 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-us-judges-about-most-scientifically-am-3593

9. Valerie Morrison, 10th District Judge, New York – “I once sentenced a 14-year-old shoplifter to a punishment that forced us to reconsider what mankind was capable of. Utilizing a radical medical procedure I developed over the course of 15 years of intense research, I cryogenically froze the shoplifter from the neck down while leaving his head unfrozen, thus allowing his head to age while the rest of his body remained frozen in time. I released him 70 years later, and he was a 14-year-old boy with the head of an 84-year-old man. He looked in the mirror and he screamed and screamed. ‘How am I possible?’ he cried. He had become a chimeric monstrosity—a Minotaur of Time, with the head of old age and the body of youth. Contemporary scientists still puzzle over how I was able to engineer this beast of justice, for in punishing this shoplifter, I became a master over Time itself! That boy will never shoplift again, and it’s all because I had the courage to dream beyond the boundaries of the infinite and voyage beyond the realm of the possible.”

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 20 January 2016 18:15 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/oral-history-facebook-2907

lmao

― davey, Friday, 22 January 2016 19:48 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/uncanny-man-looks-exactly-truck-mad-max-3835

― nomar, Friday, 29 January 2016 01:48 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-comedian-perfectly-shut-down-heckler-3891

― scott seward, Wednesday, 3 February 2016 20:32 (nine years ago)

no, really, watch that one.

― scott seward, Wednesday, 3 February 2016 20:41 (nine years ago)

lol

― bern b bag (crüt), Wednesday, 3 February 2016 20:47 (nine years ago)

haha wow

― Nhex, Wednesday, 3 February 2016 22:59 (nine years ago)

sincerely glad i watched that

― the thirteenth floorior (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 3 February 2016 23:09 (nine years ago)

This domain is blocked due to content filtering.

This site was categorized in: Pornography

― Je55e, Thursday, 4 February 2016 20:11 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/someone-built-world-minecraft-where-911-never-happ-3927

― Evan, Thursday, 11 February 2016 17:09 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/yes-theyre-expanding-cigarette-warning-labels-let--3913?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

― Darin, Monday, 15 February 2016 19:00 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/speech-was-written-president-nixon-deliver-if-astr-3908

― pplains, Friday, 19 February 2016 01:29 (nine years ago)

oh man just came to post that speech one.

― Option ARMs and de Man (s.clover), Friday, 19 February 2016 15:43 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-pictures-kiss-prove-how-great-it-have-fun-your-b-3967

I don't think I get the joke in this one, am I missing something? is it just a setup for another article that will appear at some point in the future?

― soref, Sunday, 21 February 2016 01:44 (nine years ago)

do Kiss all famously despise one another or something? I like some of their albums but don't really know a whole lot about them.

― soref, Sunday, 21 February 2016 01:47 (nine years ago)

#fakesoref

― Szechuan TV (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 21 February 2016 01:49 (nine years ago)

Did you even read the fucking thing? The point is they are good friends of each other. What the hell.

― somewhere btwn Gabriel Garcia Marquez and early Evel Knievel guy (contenderizer), Sunday, 21 February 2016 02:52 (nine years ago)

soref I think the joke is more about the discrepancy of the ridiculous look of Kiss in those photos with the very identifiable broad sentiments of hanging out with friends. I think you're reading into it a little.

― Evan, Sunday, 21 February 2016 03:23 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/every-day-i-am-carsick-3943

― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Saturday, 27 February 2016 21:14 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/halfwit-idiot-peels-orange-wifes-funeral-long-vers-4000?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

― bernard snowy, Saturday, 27 February 2016 22:19 (nine years ago)

“Hi, it’s Paul from acting. Please drink my wetness.”

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 2 March 2016 19:30 (nine years ago)

overall i think they ruined this, and maybe when you read it you'll see why i think that.

but here it is: http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-exterminators-describe-most-advanced-b-4044

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Sunday, 13 March 2016 10:27 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/pure-class-peyton-manning-took-out-full-page-newsp-4078

― sktsh, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 17:32 (nine years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CdnO5EcW0AAXCfk.jpg

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 19:38 (nine years ago)

This isn’t misogyny. These are facts. I’m simply noticing that whenever feminists cry wolf about the wage gap, they conveniently fail to mention any of the following soaps:

The oatmeal soaps that women buy that look like they’re filled with bugs
The soaps I’ve seen that come from maybe Jamaica that are shaped like starfish
The soaps that look like but probably aren’t actually peanut butter
Soaps like these should be undeniable proof that in 2016, women are getting more than their fair shake in America.

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/sorry-feminists-if-wage-gap-exists-how-do-women-af-4034

― scott seward, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 19:46 (nine years ago)

“The Gypsum Princess And The Salt-Lick Kid”

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-roald-dahl-stories-have-you-read-4145

― scott seward, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 19:49 (nine years ago)

It’s the oppressive Czar Of Fuck himself, Channing Tatum, being as naked as is even allowed and ushering in a horrifying regime of Chaotic Fuck-Laws. In this picture, Tatum is sopping wet with the steaming miracle of liquid, and so now it’s time to become profoundly porn-commanded on account of this man’s rapidly twitching muscle.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/get-horny-these-6-pictures-lust-despot-channing-ta-4029

― scott seward, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 19:50 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHC7pYHn9jQ

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 March 2016 18:54 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/watch-incredible-compilation-people-band-aid-their-2378

― There was a hole bunch of problems whit his campaigns (crüt), Monday, 21 March 2016 13:18 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/isis-has-lost-sight-what-our-founding-fathers-inte-3847?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. On these principles our Founding Fathers established a moral center for a young nation that has gone on to serve as a blueprint for overwhelming prosperity. And while the Constitution has been plenty tested by the changing demands of our country’s citizens, I believe that no single group has strayed further from the intentions of our Founding Fathers than ISIS.

― k3vin k., Monday, 28 March 2016 04:45 (nine years ago)

Has this been posted yet? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/im-feminist-i-dont-support-planned-parenthood-im-b-4141

― emil.y, Monday, 28 March 2016 17:01 (nine years ago)

That is astounding.

― sacral intercourse conducive to vegetal luxuriance (askance johnson), Monday, 28 March 2016 17:09 (nine years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CevOP1ZWAAA0aKe.jpg

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 29 March 2016 19:08 (nine years ago)

lmao

― ejemplo (crüt), Tuesday, 29 March 2016 19:16 (nine years ago)

came here to post that.

― ive seen enough Good Wife episodes (s.clover), Tuesday, 29 March 2016 19:32 (nine years ago)

what is the joke there

― Nhex, Tuesday, 29 March 2016 22:24 (nine years ago)

just the joy of always ceci n'est, ceci n'est finally here comes mr. pipe

― Mordy, Tuesday, 29 March 2016 22:30 (nine years ago)

Ceci n'est pas une joke

― pplains, Wednesday, 30 March 2016 02:55 (nine years ago)

Not quite typical Clickhole fare, but crushes it imo:

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/sorry-bernie-bros-your-candidate-just-doesnt-have--4201?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Wednesday, 30 March 2016 18:25 (nine years ago)

all 3 of these are out of sight

http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/find-out-what-marissa-mayer-eric-clapton-and-charl-4184

― goole, Wednesday, 30 March 2016 23:03 (nine years ago)

yep

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 30 March 2016 23:46 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4APcgsRdW6w

― it me, Saturday, 2 April 2016 19:54 (nine years ago)

seriously lolled

― never ending bath infusion (Doctor Casino), Saturday, 2 April 2016 20:58 (nine years ago)

friend of a friend posted this on facebook, outraged: http://www.clickhole.com/article/game-changer-startup-just-broke-kickstarters-all-t-3863

― JoeStork, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 07:29 (nine years ago)

combine that with the scream mask quote from eastbound & down and i'm giggling

― μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 13:38 (nine years ago)

!!!

http://www.clickhole.com/article/no-coincidence-9-months-after-fuck-day-first-wave--4234

― scott seward, Monday, 18 April 2016 20:03 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-character-office-are-you-927

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 21 April 2016 15:18 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/here-news-4283

― ciderpress, Saturday, 23 April 2016 00:44 (nine years ago)

In the world of sports, the Pirates beat the Cubs 6 to 3

clearly fake

― mookieproof, Saturday, 23 April 2016 02:14 (nine years ago)

In THE PEANUTS GO TO CALIFORNIA, Charlie Brown is a 16-year-old human boy with long hair, dozens of parents, and the popular catch phrase "I don't know much, but I do know one thing: The Hollywood Ten got what they deserved."

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 29 April 2016 16:55 (nine years ago)

http://www.starwipe.com/article/weird-gross-kid-jennifer-lawrence-punched-sophie-t-2795

― nomar, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 17:57 (nine years ago)

hmm

https://twitter.com/ShameBeast

― goole, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 18:57 (nine years ago)

xp the weird thing about that is the video interview at the bottom that confirms the "smelling like a dude" and "plenty of STDs in London" quotes

― Nhex, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 18:58 (nine years ago)

wait the cunt punch thing actually happened? wtf

― Nhex, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 19:00 (nine years ago)

ahhahahahahaha

― i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Thursday, 12 May 2016 14:28 (nine years ago)

It's more likely than you think.

― ejemplo (crüt), Thursday, 12 May 2016 14:36 (nine years ago)

dying that the punch thing happened

― are you ellie (s.clover), Thursday, 12 May 2016 16:02 (nine years ago)

wait is the starwipe "concept" all actual writeups of actual shitty celeb news idgi

― are you ellie (s.clover), Thursday, 12 May 2016 16:05 (nine years ago)

yeah seems like it, not a parody news site

― Nhex, Thursday, 12 May 2016 16:45 (nine years ago)

the tone is parodic in that it's over the top versions of tabloid-style headlines, but the content is mostly true?

― μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, 12 May 2016 16:51 (nine years ago)

yeah but... that just makes it about 10% snarkier than a "standard" celeb tabloid site

― Nhex, Thursday, 12 May 2016 21:38 (nine years ago)

stumbled across this, lol'd:

http://viralmozo.com/2016/04/22/20-strangest-pictures-from-world-war-ii/?utm_medium=Discovery&utm_source=Outbrain&utm_campaign=strangewwiipictures

― And the cry rang out all o'er the town / Good Heavens! Tay is down (imago), Friday, 13 May 2016 11:34 (nine years ago)

this is a good starwipe

http://www.starwipe.com/article/anthony-kiedis-scabadabahospitalized-due-complifon-2841

― ejemplo (crüt), Monday, 16 May 2016 19:13 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/recently-found-footage-jd-salinger-will-blow-you-a-4147

― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Friday, 20 May 2016 16:48 (nine years ago)

i keep seeing starwipe on my fb but it turns out it's just the same guy, i think he might be the only actual starwipe fan

― qualx, Tuesday, 24 May 2016 02:14 (nine years ago)

speaking of

the best: clickhole's facebook memes
the absolute worst thing about all life and existence, i am not exaggerating: the comments on clickhole's facebook memes

― qualx, Tuesday, 24 May 2016 02:15 (nine years ago)

this is fuckin A

http://www.clickhole.com/article/american-myth-jerry-siegel-and-joe-shusters-origin-4383

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, 24 May 2016 20:20 (nine years ago)

god that's fantastic. cumulative effect but lost my breath at "thanks to a complete fiasco on some worse planet, a rogue scientist blasts a baby off into space to give it some parents! and folks, it works!"

― balls, Wednesday, 25 May 2016 16:41 (nine years ago)

the Jewish humor in that one is A+

― a man a plan alive (man alive), Wednesday, 25 May 2016 17:02 (nine years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CjUn9HXVAAAB_LG.jpg

http://www.clickhole.com/article/oral-history-1998-major-league-baseball-home-run-c-4441

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 25 May 2016 18:39 (nine years ago)

lmbo

― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 25 May 2016 18:53 (nine years ago)

that poor jeep

― balls, Wednesday, 25 May 2016 18:58 (nine years ago)

"jogging tunic" is definitely entering my mental vocabulary

― a man a plan alive (man alive), Wednesday, 25 May 2016 19:03 (nine years ago)

health goth for sure

― μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 25 May 2016 19:06 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkg0Itam4Xk

― schwantz, Wednesday, 25 May 2016 23:29 (nine years ago)

The oral histories are my favorite things to read ever

― 6 god none the richer (m bison), Thursday, 26 May 2016 01:32 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-reasons-why-90s-girls-didnt-feel-any-particular--4414

― Sean, let me be clear (silby), Thursday, 2 June 2016 01:34 (nine years ago)

this is the funniest site with the best humor

― 6 god none the richer (m bison), Thursday, 2 June 2016 04:06 (nine years ago)

Kashrut !

― germane geir hongro (s.clover), Thursday, 2 June 2016 19:23 (nine years ago)

Love both of these

http://www.clickhole.com/video/disrespectful-man-covers-american-flag-his-own-fla-4491

http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/beautiful-israelis-and-palestinians-join-the-same-google-doc-4072

― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 03:25 (nine years ago)

worried that this couldn't live up to the headline but it exceeded it in every way

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-characters-i-created-teach-my-kid-about-dental-h-4429

― lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 10:47 (nine years ago)

As the pool house burned and burned, Nathan and I watched him spin.

― dynamicinterface, Wednesday, 8 June 2016 12:54 (nine years ago)

NSFW and kind of dumb but I can't stop giggling:

Party’s Over, Wiseass: Change The Dildos In These Cops’ Hands Back To Guns

― STOP KILLING ANIMALS, THEY'RE MINT (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 18:18 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/your-period-day-late-are-you-pregnant-4382#1,

at least one ending has a fantastic punchline

― STOP KILLING ANIMALS, THEY'RE MINT (DJP), Friday, 10 June 2016 19:48 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-kids-who-need-shut-fuck-about-fossils-already-4457

― scott seward, Friday, 10 June 2016 19:56 (nine years ago)

rip starwipe

― lag∞n, Friday, 17 June 2016 14:59 (nine years ago)

was that them bowing out? beautiful

― μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 17 June 2016 15:01 (nine years ago)

ah ok that makes sense now. good decision, it was p poor overall

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 17 June 2016 17:14 (nine years ago)

i salute them for trying something i didnt quite understand and didnt care enough to try and figure out it didnt work i guess idk

― lag∞n, Sunday, 19 June 2016 16:23 (nine years ago)

all the articles from the end are good, but this is especially good: http://www.starwipe.com/article/seriously-what-are-we-even-doing-3137

― R.I.P. Haram-bae, the good posts goy (s.clover), Sunday, 19 June 2016 17:24 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-underfunded-schools-will-eventually-be-captivati-4539

― scott seward, Friday, 1 July 2016 15:24 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/devastating-guy-knows-exactly-how-black-people-sho-4607

damn

― http://porno (DJP), Monday, 11 July 2016 20:13 (nine years ago)

that's what's good about twitter. the ability to randomly yell at ppl you don't know about how they should be acting. very good platform.

― mh, Monday, 11 July 2016 20:15 (nine years ago)

first-rate clickhole work, that.

― 'they pelted us with rocks and garbage' (Doctor Casino), Monday, 11 July 2016 20:41 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/we-can-determine-which-state-youre-just-way-you-an-1908

― scott seward, Monday, 11 July 2016 21:26 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/if-black-lives-matter-isnt-racist-hate-group-then--4610

― Immediate Follower (NA), Monday, 11 July 2016 21:32 (nine years ago)

two weeks pass...

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-heartbreaking-photos-syrian-war-refugees-also-so-4628

― flopson, Thursday, 28 July 2016 20:33 (nine years ago)

https://twitter.com/JulieHFisk/status/758711338046676994

― r|t|c, Thursday, 28 July 2016 20:49 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/its-summer-time-go-camping-your-dad-and-his-friend-4497#6,

do this and get to the Bean Bagg slide.

― 6 god none the richer (m bison), Thursday, 28 July 2016 21:15 (nine years ago)

that refugee one is the guiltiest lol I've had in a long while

― rob, Thursday, 28 July 2016 21:36 (nine years ago)

Yeah, I was going to link the refugee one but I didn't want to admit how hard I laughed at it

― Don't boo, vote (DJP), Thursday, 28 July 2016 21:38 (nine years ago)

I'm sorry about the steel drum music, I'm trying to remove it

― mh, Thursday, 28 July 2016 21:50 (nine years ago)

the guiltiest lol is the best lol

― flopson, Thursday, 28 July 2016 21:55 (nine years ago)

you might enjoy this one then flopson: http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/can-you-match-elderly-dad-thing-he-wont-have-energ-4517

― rob, Thursday, 28 July 2016 21:59 (nine years ago)

You’re A True Philip K. Addickt!

Lord alive, but when it comes to Philip K. Dick, you’re unstoppable! From the beginningless daymares of Runcifer Cale to the unforgettable twist of Blind, Underwater! (it’s apples), you’ve experienced just about everything his tortured mind had to offer! And now he’s dead, and each re-read milks a little less magic out of his words, and bit by bit, the spark behind them will fade and flicker out, until you’re left in a colder, darker world, a prisoner of an empty future! Wow!

― silverfish, Friday, 29 July 2016 17:52 (nine years ago)

Okay some of the Philip K. Dick titles are so on point that I actually think I've read them...

― écorché (S-), Monday, 1 August 2016 04:47 (nine years ago)

mostly for the photo
http://www.clickhole.com/article/too-little-too-late-roger-ailes-has-put-signs-deno-4644

― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Friday, 5 August 2016 17:40 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/get-ready-feel-goosebumps-here-epic-new-olympic-an-4715

― scott seward, Friday, 5 August 2016 18:10 (nine years ago)

that is glorious

― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Friday, 5 August 2016 18:13 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/find-out-what-hope-solo-neil-degrasse-tyson-and-ji-4751

― woke-ing class zero (s.clover), Wednesday, 10 August 2016 02:32 (nine years ago)

three weeks pass...

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/have-your-voice-heard-use-sliders-write-bluelivesm-4666

― Silence, followed by unintelligible stammering. (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 31 August 2016 04:59 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/real-life-sherlock-man-spent-20-minutes-scrolling--4764

I have definitely done this. People I vaguely know keep going on holiday with people/putting up pregnancy pics with a person when a year or two ago they put up wedding photos of them and someone else.

― kinder, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 12:11 (nine years ago)

I know, right? This guy is getting married.. I thought he _was_ married? Or was that a different guy.

― mh 😏, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 14:07 (nine years ago)

Yeah, I went through that once. Did a detective thing and figured out that he had announced his divorce months earlier with a post that read "well, shit."

― how's life, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 14:09 (nine years ago)

I was kind of worried about this dude's wife because they went somewhere on vacation and he was pushing her in a wheelchair in a few pictures. But it turns out she was pregnant and wasn't supposed to be exerting herself. I had no idea they were expecting.

― mh 😏, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 14:12 (nine years ago)

lol

― how's life, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 14:24 (nine years ago)

hm, thinking of throwing in a few curveballs on my own timeline now

thanks for everyone's #support!

― kinder, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 14:46 (nine years ago)

Right wing columnist falls for Clickhole story and gets pwned by Neil DeGrasse Tyson then gets a sadface and quits his column because everyone called him a moron.

― a 47-year-old chainsaw artist from South Carolina (Phil D.), Wednesday, 31 August 2016 15:25 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/political-crisis-antonin-scalias-vacant-supreme-co-4774

^ this is killing me, especially the court transcripts

― Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 1 September 2016 19:01 (nine years ago)

lol amazing

― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Thursday, 1 September 2016 20:51 (nine years ago)

this made me giggle: http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/internet-article-about-how-arnold-hey-arnold-would-4834

― Don't boo, vote (DJP), Tuesday, 6 September 2016 16:18 (nine years ago)

i'm still laughing at this

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-heartbreaking-photos-syrian-war-refugees-also-so-4628

― flopson, Thursday, July 28, 2016 3:33 PM (one month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― goole, Tuesday, 6 September 2016 16:23 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/ultimate-fan-woman-spent-200000-plastic-surgery-or-4637

I seriously can't look at this picture

― Don't boo, vote (DJP), Wednesday, 14 September 2016 18:13 (nine years ago)

aaaaaaahahaha

― Silence, followed by unintelligible stammering. (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 14 September 2016 20:19 (nine years ago)

im impressed with how quickly clikckhole overtook the onion for maximum laughs

― 6 god none the richer (m bison), Thursday, 15 September 2016 01:50 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/absolutely-beautiful-watch-woman-tell-her-husband--4871

― have you ever even read The Drudge Report? Have you gone on Stormfron (k3vin k.), Thursday, 15 September 2016 17:15 (nine years ago)

gotta get this good milk down the drain ASAP

― have you ever even read The Drudge Report? Have you gone on Stormfron (k3vin k.), Thursday, 15 September 2016 17:17 (nine years ago)

this fresh good milk belongs in the sewer...i'm gonna get it there

― have you ever even read The Drudge Report? Have you gone on Stormfron (k3vin k.), Thursday, 15 September 2016 17:18 (nine years ago)

Erotic

― slathered in cream and covered with stickers (silby), Friday, 16 September 2016 01:05 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/historic-find-archaeologists-have-discovered-tomb--4885

dead

― 6 god none the richer (m bison), Friday, 16 September 2016 01:14 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-times-animatronic-fox-splash-mountain-addressed--4872

― esempiu (crüt), Saturday, 24 September 2016 19:46 (nine years ago)

Your dad is my fiancé, Ryan. I’m going to wear your shirts and your pants when I marry your dad. Your dad’s going to wear a wedding dress and we’re going to be bonded in the eyes of Christ. Enjoy the rest of Splash Mountain, Ryan.

― esempiu (crüt), Saturday, 24 September 2016 19:51 (nine years ago)

My wife could not keep a straight face though that one. Her theory is they just lock people in a room with drugs and make them write.

― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 24 September 2016 20:06 (nine years ago)

lolololol

― ¶ (DJP), Sunday, 25 September 2016 14:57 (nine years ago)

that one got me pretty bad

― goole, Monday, 26 September 2016 21:43 (nine years ago)

i really want to know who the writer is, they do all the clickventures too. surely it's just one person

― imago, Tuesday, 27 September 2016 00:45 (nine years ago)

is it not Brendan O'Hare? http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/what-i-assume-honore-de-balzac-thought-after-drinking-each-of-his-fifty-daily-cups-of-coffee

― slathered in cream and covered with stickers (silby), Tuesday, 27 September 2016 01:54 (nine years ago)

weirdly that new yorker piece isn't remotely as well-written as his clickhole efforts

― imago, Tuesday, 27 September 2016 10:50 (nine years ago)

See also their fake Onion guy.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 27 September 2016 11:29 (nine years ago)

"Call me Mrs Dad"

― I like it when you shoot inside me Dirk (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 27 September 2016 11:39 (nine years ago)

https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/videos/1771415149765410/

― soref, Thursday, 29 September 2016 17:40 (nine years ago)

This is one of their best
http://www.clickhole.com/article/plus-size-model-was-inspiring-then-she-lost-100-po-4936

― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Wednesday, 5 October 2016 20:01 (nine years ago)

that one had me dying

― ¶ (DJP), Wednesday, 5 October 2016 20:23 (nine years ago)

although in terms of sheer absurdity, I loved this:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/assorted-pastries-until-pug-dressed-old-lady-arriv-4929

― ¶ (DJP), Wednesday, 5 October 2016 20:23 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/greatest-restaurant-world-discovering-new-era-food-5004

― nomar, Thursday, 13 October 2016 01:00 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/tragic-michael-jordan-whitewater-rafting-just-drow-4993

― na (NA), Tuesday, 18 October 2016 16:13 (nine years ago)

When they go low, Clickhole goes high:
http://www.clickhole.com/article/punching-back-hillary-clinton-invited-access-holly-5023

― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 20 October 2016 01:32 (nine years ago)

Highest levels of the Kremlin? Is that the Kreme de la Kremlin?

― schwantz, Thursday, 20 October 2016 01:51 (nine years ago)

one of those sad onion-y ones:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/you-go-girl-when-woman-noticed-stranger-train-clea-5006

― scott seward, Thursday, 20 October 2016 02:03 (nine years ago)

this one is like a standard clickhole article only more. no punchlines just an overload of content ascending to ever higher levels of febrile energy, wow wow wow oh wow!

http://www.clickhole.com/article/hot-hot-hollywood-selena-gomez-has-gotten-inside-s-4989

― ogmor, Monday, 24 October 2016 13:10 (nine years ago)

ha omg

― imago, Monday, 24 October 2016 13:53 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/ah-fuck-these-waterfalls-are-100-percent-beef-4821

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 24 October 2016 14:09 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/americans-and-guzmer-try-british-candy-first-time-4942

i'm guessing they had no idea they were m/l perfectly recreating brit saturday morning kids tv

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 20:29 (nine years ago)

Put a pork slice in there and see if it makes that real pork-on-cup sound

― ultros ultros-ghali, Sunday, 30 October 2016 16:54 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/greatest-restaurant-world-discovering-new-era-food-5004

― nomar, Thursday, October 13, 2016 9:00 AM (two weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Love this one, I would be pleased to come across it in a book of short stories.

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Sunday, 30 October 2016 16:59 (nine years ago)

This really made me laugh.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-pictures-my-amateur-photography-class-accidental-5047

― and this section is called boner (Phil D.), Monday, 31 October 2016 19:02 (nine years ago)

lolled hard at this one:

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/do-you-have-what-it-takes-be-yodas-live-caretaker-5071

― Darin, Saturday, 5 November 2016 19:31 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/video/loyal-dog-refuses-leave-grave-has-peanut-butter-it-901

― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 5 November 2016 19:35 (nine years ago)

I thought this was funny and dumb and smart, too:

http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/cinephiles-rejoice-paramount-pictures-is-restoring-the-sound-of-loose-change-jangling-in-forrest-gumps-pockets-while-he-runs-4673

― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 5 November 2016 19:38 (nine years ago)

D'oh! http://www.clickhole.com/article/missed-opportunity-president-obama-just-found-out--5064

― StanM, Sunday, 6 November 2016 18:17 (nine years ago)

Now, see, that's just an Onion story, isn't it?

― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 6 November 2016 21:18 (nine years ago)

two weeks pass...

http://www.clickhole.com/article/faith-humanity-restored-after-these-students-were--5180

― ultros ultros-ghali, Thursday, 24 November 2016 18:36 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/farewell-icon-anna-wintour-being-dragged-woods-dee-5212

― goole, Tuesday, 6 December 2016 17:53 (nine years ago)

saw this thread this morning, thought it was called 'bait my catholic', why don't we have that thread

― j., Tuesday, 6 December 2016 18:51 (nine years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-survivors-2010-chilean-mine-disaster-w-5213

― the klosterman weekend (s.clover), Tuesday, 6 December 2016 20:20 (nine years ago)

it's not related but reductress is so good

http://reductress.com/

― goole, Thursday, 8 December 2016 21:23 (nine years ago)

ty gl

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 8 December 2016 21:30 (nine years ago)

oh my god the headlines alone have me rolling

― ¶ (DJP), Friday, 9 December 2016 22:01 (nine years ago)

omg I can't believe you haven't seen reductress considering how much you love clickhole

you're in for a treat

― mh 😏, Saturday, 10 December 2016 00:03 (nine years ago)

yeah I'm hoping someone buys me the reductress book for christmas (they won't)

― kinder, Saturday, 10 December 2016 14:07 (nine years ago)

reductress is a good twitter follow solely for the levels of Not Getting It it engenders

― goole, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 21:57 (nine years ago)

love to read a reductress tweet and feel wickedly burned

― mh 😏, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 22:51 (nine years ago)

one month passes...

http://i.imgur.com/AfYQTcK.jpg

― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 3 February 2017 10:47 (eight years ago)

LOL

And I found these ones absolutely hilarious:
http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-times-speed-stick-had-ask-george-lucas-stop-buyi-5365
http://www.clickhole.com/article/historic-discovery-archaeologists-have-uncovered-c-5298

― ultros ultros-ghali, Friday, 3 February 2017 18:54 (eight years ago)

There are no more facts about football.

― I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Friday, 3 February 2017 20:08 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/government-chaos-donald-trump-signed-executive-ord-5415

― Number None, Monday, 6 February 2017 20:40 (eight years ago)

should have been 'hen fap'

― mookieproof, Monday, 6 February 2017 20:41 (eight years ago)

two weeks pass...

The Power Of Love: This Woman Gave Up Her Lifelong Dream Of Being A Painter To Marry Someone Who Thinks Art Is Dumb

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Tuesday, 21 February 2017 18:18 (eight years ago)

a curious thing

― mh 😏, Tuesday, 21 February 2017 19:37 (eight years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C5Smy38VYAA2PPP.jpg:small

― goole, Wednesday, 22 February 2017 21:14 (eight years ago)

xref too much time on ilx

― softie (silby), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 21:21 (eight years ago)

lol

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 23:10 (eight years ago)

cruft

― sktsh, Thursday, 23 February 2017 20:17 (eight years ago)

lmao goole

― k3vin k., Thursday, 23 February 2017 20:32 (eight years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/51ehKMs.png

― lag∞n, Thursday, 23 February 2017 21:30 (eight years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/aHvwZ3V.png

― lag∞n, Thursday, 23 February 2017 23:19 (eight years ago)

Their forthcoming spoof science show looks extremely not good, and I say this as someone who kinda liked Look Around You

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 1 March 2017 21:06 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/ice-agent-best-part-my-job-getting-work-children-5737

― mookieproof, Thursday, 9 March 2017 22:12 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/artist-reimagined-game-thrones-characters-babies-u-5669

losing my shit

― na (NA), Tuesday, 14 March 2017 19:39 (eight years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.clickhole.com/article/powerful-pringles-has-unveiled-line-damp-chips-won-5938

― nomar, Tuesday, 2 May 2017 23:36 (eight years ago)

two weeks pass...

lol

http://i.imgur.com/njr1UBA.png

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 17 May 2017 14:39 (eight years ago)

Holy shit, y'all, go to ClickHole today

― Bio-Digital Jezza (kingfish), Wednesday, 17 May 2017 15:17 (eight years ago)

this is so good

― k3vin k., Wednesday, 17 May 2017 16:20 (eight years ago)

I don't even have a daughter and I'm scared of Ahmed

― imago, Wednesday, 17 May 2017 16:30 (eight years ago)

Their recent Red Lobster song was out of this world btw

― imago, Wednesday, 17 May 2017 16:30 (eight years ago)

This is a photo of Clinton and Barack Obama watching a live feed of a top-secret Navy SEAL raid in which the mastermind behind the Towergate attacks, Osama bin Laden, was shot dead in his own home. In other words, you’ve got two of the most powerful people on the planet overseeing a mission to silence the one man in the world who knew the full truth about Towergate and could expose it to the masses. Now he’s dead, and we’ll never hear the whole story. How convenient.

― goole, Wednesday, 17 May 2017 17:05 (eight years ago)

I was about to tweet "give me Patriothole or give me death" and then I looked at those words in that sequence again

― PJD PDJ DPJ (DJP), Wednesday, 17 May 2017 17:11 (eight years ago)

http://reductress.com/post/6-decorative-bowls-perfect-for-when-he-asks-where-do-you-want-me-to-cum/

― goole, Thursday, 18 May 2017 18:38 (eight years ago)

the tags

― PJD PDJ DPJ (DJP), Thursday, 18 May 2017 18:55 (eight years ago)

reductress has been hitting them out of the park:

http://reductress.com/post/the-5-hottest-guys-in-the-handmaids-tale-you-didnt-even-notice-because-thats-not-what-its-about-jesus-christ/

http://reductress.com/post/how-i-lost-45-pounds-by-making-my-teen-daughter-freaky-friday-me/

― pplains, Thursday, 18 May 2017 23:56 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/godspeed-sir-steve-bannon-bravely-walking-desert-f-6004

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Friday, 19 May 2017 21:48 (eight years ago)

cannibal lobster man

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Friday, 19 May 2017 21:55 (eight years ago)

http://reductress.com/post/how-to-be-a-work-who-sometimes-womans/

― scott seward, Friday, 19 May 2017 21:57 (eight years ago)

oh my god

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 19 May 2017 22:15 (eight years ago)

http://reductress.com/post/registered-sex-offender-only-screening-of-manhattan-sells-out-in-under-five-minutes/

― goole, Thursday, 1 June 2017 19:13 (eight years ago)

http://reductress.com/post/study-measures-self-esteem-based-on-whether-youd-date-beetlejuice/

― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Thursday, 1 June 2017 19:43 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/technical-troubles-amazons-new-delivery-drones-won-6068

― evol j, Thursday, 1 June 2017 20:15 (eight years ago)

^ lolll

― it me, Friday, 2 June 2017 22:49 (eight years ago)

great pic

― nxd, Friday, 2 June 2017 23:00 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/pr-nightmare-zales-has-apologized-after-debuting-e-6155

― evol j, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 20:18 (eight years ago)

two weeks pass...

Today is head writer @jamieabrew's last day at ClickHole, so please join me in celebrating some of his masterpieces: https://t.co/WZXiO2YDdV

— Dan Abromowitz (@AnnDabromowitz) June 23, 2017

― mookieproof, Friday, 23 June 2017 20:26 (eight years ago)

Hey, that Clickhole writer is the Object Dreams guy! Cool.

― JRN, Friday, 23 June 2017 20:32 (eight years ago)

I have enjoyed so many of those.

― a butt groove but for feet (DJP), Friday, 23 June 2017 20:33 (eight years ago)

oh shit, his writing style is peerless and so distinctive

― imago, Friday, 23 June 2017 22:01 (eight years ago)

unless they all write like that

― imago, Friday, 23 June 2017 22:05 (eight years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-badly-are-you-ripping-city-des-moines-5656

hitting pretty close to home, here

― mh, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 14:21 (eight years ago)

their youtube videos are amazing

my top 5 would be something like

1. if you don't think you have any racial prejudices you better watch this video
2. red lobster advert
3. halfwit idiot peels orange at wife's funeral LONG VERSION NO SOUND
4. how to change your linkedin to announce your dad is sick
5. bribe for doctor

― imago, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 14:40 (eight years ago)

Share to honor this hero. pic.twitter.com/541uiVZkfp

— PatriotHole (@PatriotHole) July 25, 2017

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 16:08 (eight years ago)

ahaha

― imago, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 17:31 (eight years ago)

omg

that des moines quiz was shared to the facebook wall of a friend who is active in local politics and she made some joking comments on it

the mayor of des moines called her to ask what she's angry about

― mh, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 20:35 (eight years ago)

i'm dying

― mh, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 20:35 (eight years ago)

Ha!!

― Fetchboy, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 20:40 (eight years ago)

fwiw her result was

The City Of Des Moines Might Be Ripping You Off!There is no easy way to say this, but the city of Des Moines is almost definitely taking you for a ride. You need to sit down with the mayor of Des Moines and have a frank, honest conversation about his behavior. You do not deserve to be swindled like this by the city of Des Moines. Best of luck.

her comment was about having a "frank conversation with Frank!"

― mh, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 20:51 (eight years ago)

This is my favourite thing right now

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/youre-hogwarts-only-guidance-counselor-can-you-con-6351

Favourite part is this page:

What’s college?”

College is a very expensive way to meet men named Bryant and then much later find out they died climbing on top of a subway car

College is where you go to stock up on all the experiences your young brain needs to make nightmares for the rest of your life

College is where you go to lose your mouth virginity to a dancer

College is where you learn one thing pretty well and then spend the rest of your life figuring out if anyone wants to talk about it

College is what 'Risky Business' is all about

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 4 August 2017 20:20 (eight years ago)

that des moines quiz was shared to the facebook wall of a friend who is active in local politics and she made some joking comments on it

the mayor of des moines called her to ask what she's angry about

this is making two former Iowans in this house very, very happy

― she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Friday, 4 August 2017 20:59 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/connoisseurs-rejoice-colgate-releasing-its-85-year-6423

― goole, Tuesday, 15 August 2017 18:06 (eight years ago)

omg

that des moines quiz was shared to the facebook wall of a friend who is active in local politics and she made some joking comments on it

the mayor of des moines called her to ask what she's angry about

― mh, Tuesday, July 25, 2017 3:35 PM (three weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmbo no way

― goole, Tuesday, 15 August 2017 18:06 (eight years ago)

if that weren't ridiculous enough, that was followed up by the revelation said mayor was part of a group of local hoodlums known as the "All Center Bums" in the '60s: http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/life/2017/08/04/antics-all-center-bums-long-gone-but-still-remembered/414038001/

― mh, Tuesday, 15 August 2017 18:17 (eight years ago)

simply wonderful

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/draw-curtains-these-street-urchins-peering-our-roa-4324

― goole, Tuesday, 22 August 2017 19:25 (eight years ago)

"mail slot" though

― kinder, Wednesday, 23 August 2017 09:08 (eight years ago)

americans relish their terrible british impressions best when they are especially terrible

― ogmor, Wednesday, 23 August 2017 10:19 (eight years ago)

bracing

The mainstream media has a new worst enemy. Watch 'PatriotHole' starting 9.6.17, hosted by the fearless @PatriotHoleDoug pic.twitter.com/vIi4RtrWL4

— PatriotHole (@PatriotHole) August 29, 2017

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 30 August 2017 19:19 (eight years ago)

http://reductress.com/post/how-to-explain-to-your-children-that-daddy-used-to-have-cumgutters/

― goole, Wednesday, 30 August 2017 19:23 (eight years ago)

reductress is one of the few things that can shock me in their bluntness

― mh, Wednesday, 30 August 2017 23:33 (eight years ago)

http://www.dirgemag.com/garden-earthly-delights-quiz/

― the late great, Friday, 1 September 2017 00:19 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/may-i-papa-mcdonalds-releasing-new-fig-and-ladyfin-6540

― evol j, Friday, 8 September 2017 17:30 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/changing-times-random-house-has-instructed-toni-mo-6628

― nomar, Thursday, 21 September 2017 18:02 (eight years ago)

^^^ this is wonderful

― this iphone speaks many languages (DJP), Thursday, 21 September 2017 18:13 (eight years ago)

http://www.clickhole.com/article/must-see-tv-vanna-white-revealed-true-name-god-whe-6722

― silverfish, Tuesday, 3 October 2017 20:42 (eight years ago)

the tags

― goole, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 18:21 (eight years ago)

two weeks pass...

http://www.clickhole.com/article/emotional-confession-giada-de-laurentiis-wrote-hea-6770

prepare to die

― imago, Thursday, 19 October 2017 13:39 (eight years ago)

someone was inspired!

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/can-you-match-stephen-king-monster-novels-drawn-ou-6856

― scott seward, Friday, 20 October 2017 17:35 (eight years ago)

two weeks pass...

This has to be the angriest thing I've seen on Clickhole or The Onion

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-employees-clickholecom-have-voted-unanimously-d-6952

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 3 November 2017 20:25 (eight years ago)

That is the first Clickhole article I've seen that isn't tagged with "WOW"

― the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Friday, 3 November 2017 20:27 (eight years ago)

ironically enough, wow

― imago, Friday, 3 November 2017 20:40 (eight years ago)

4d checkers

― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 3 November 2017 21:54 (eight years ago)

you guys! this one!

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-6-parts-dog-6949

― scott seward, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 18:30 (eight years ago)

also, that One Direction history was inspired.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/if-youre-five-boys-you-can-do-anything-oral-histor-6913

Niall Horan: Zayn leaving knocked out huge chunks of our back catalog. We couldn’t perform “Zayn’s Lament,” “A Zayn Will Rise (The Cycle Of Zayn Part II),” or even “A Trial And A Reckoning (The Cycle Of Zayn Part VII).” We were sending fans home disappointed every night.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 18:36 (eight years ago)

A re-up, so you may have seen it already, but still absolutely worth reposting.

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-one-my-garbage-sons-are-you-1458

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 20 November 2017 21:16 (eight years ago)

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/23826050_1971430463097210_6741132498910659370_o.jpg?oh=4b8f1bde79e2176b00a16266bfae0e3b&oe=5A894BE9

― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Monday, 20 November 2017 21:39 (eight years ago)

lmfao

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:29 (eight years ago)

The garbage sons thing is one of the crowning achievements of the internet (no sarcasm)

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:30 (eight years ago)

its one of the best pieces of writing

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:35 (eight years ago)

and we dont know who wrote it!

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:35 (eight years ago)

its not brendan ohare as someone suggested upthread btw, i know because patricia lockwood tweeted saying she me the writer in chicago on her book tour and the day she was in chicago ohare posted a picture from pennsylvania, i tweeted at lockwood asking who it was and no response

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:37 (eight years ago)

lmao

― Simon H., Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:39 (eight years ago)

this has been bother me for a while!

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:41 (eight years ago)

every time i reread i forget about the blowhole full of bones, it's so beautiful

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:43 (eight years ago)

the person who wrote that is responsible for most of clickhole's best content i think, and is probably the pre-eminent american humorist of our age

― imago, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:45 (eight years ago)

whoever they are

― imago, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:45 (eight years ago)

are you a big jazz boy or a little jazz boy is their other masterpiece

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:52 (eight years ago)

i just had to stop reading "Garbage Boys" on the bus because i was embarrassed at how hard i was stifled laughing

― faked potato (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 17:09 (eight years ago)

It's a very post-Tim and Eric thing, the way "big jazz boy" "garbage sons" "nice dad" etc are repeated throughout.

― Evan, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 17:22 (eight years ago)

saab owners die angry

― mh, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 19:22 (eight years ago)

One time, all my garbage sons got together to build an enormous marble statue of me weeping in the front seat of my wonderful car. The base of the statue had the inscription “I Don’t Cry. I Saab.”

― omar little, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 19:27 (eight years ago)

its not brendan ohare as someone suggested upthread btw, i know because patricia lockwood tweeted saying she me the writer in chicago on her book tour and the day she was in chicago ohare posted a picture from pennsylvania, i tweeted at lockwood asking who it was and no response

― lag∞n, Tuesday, November 21, 2017 11:37 AM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this prompted me to reread "the lake isle of innisfree"

― ur-oik (rip van wanko), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 19:52 (eight years ago)

saab owners die angry

― mh, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 19:22 (one hour ago) Permalink

I really want this shirt tbh

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 21:15 (eight years ago)

The big jazz boy piece reads a little like a Ginsberg poem

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 21:17 (eight years ago)

or something beat anyway, not sure if I'm thinking of ginsberg

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 21:17 (eight years ago)

http://images2.onionstatic.com/clickhole/5100/6/16x9/800.jpg

― crüt, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 08:05 (eight years ago)

one month passes...

Making Things Right: The Pentagon Is Launching A Ballistic Missile Attack On Hawaii To Restore Faith In The Nuclear Alert System

― Millennial Whoop, wanna fight about it? (Phil D.), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 21:34 (seven years ago)

Thanken to mein goode educatardo, ay rememberen thar sturry ov Jengus Christler dyinn on thar crossler far thar sens ov mandkindler, sparcefically masturbatarto. Thez ez warst sen en thar eyyes ov Godde.

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/und-hungry-hogg-have-aten-oll-th-bibles-een-aur-ve-7189

― scott seward, Thursday, 18 January 2018 18:52 (seven years ago)

I'm in awe

― mh, Thursday, 18 January 2018 18:56 (seven years ago)

also, this. while i'm at it.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-dove-commercials-lean-pretty-heavily-biting-head-7128

― scott seward, Thursday, 18 January 2018 18:58 (seven years ago)

wow

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 18 January 2018 19:01 (seven years ago)

ha, Dove ads should be the target of more Clickhole imo

― kinder, Thursday, 18 January 2018 19:04 (seven years ago)

the Hung’ry hOgge one is an incredible treasure

― ogmor, Friday, 19 January 2018 12:48 (seven years ago)

https://i.imgur.com/9p3DqtN.png

― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 19 January 2018 13:39 (seven years ago)

Finally:
http://www.clickhole.com/article/much-needed-fix-ea-has-announced-upcoming-patch-ge-7188

― Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 22:21 (seven years ago)

http://images2.onionstatic.com/clickhole/5156/3/original/800.jpg

― Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 22:22 (seven years ago)

this is amazing

― while my dirk gently weeps (symsymsym), Thursday, 25 January 2018 04:55 (seven years ago)

two weeks pass...

Gut-wrenching: Italian Waiter Grinds Fresh Black Pepper Onto Daughter’s Grave pic.twitter.com/HBofeIw7c6

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) February 13, 2018

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 19:23 (seven years ago)

lol jesus christ

― It's not delivery, it's Adorno! (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 20:22 (seven years ago)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fCFRbcSmvCc

https://youtu.be/fCFRbcSmvCc

― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 16 February 2018 07:30 (seven years ago)

Fuck, i dont know how to do this

― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 16 February 2018 07:30 (seven years ago)

Don’t blame yourself the auto-embed is pretty specific.

― direct to consumer online mattress brand (silby), Friday, 16 February 2018 07:31 (seven years ago)

truth...

http://www.clickhole.com/video/clickhole-presents-peel-7444

― scott seward, Thursday, 22 February 2018 20:10 (seven years ago)

i love the peel.

http://www.clickhole.com/video/peel-dad-ellen-stevenson-7481

― scott seward, Thursday, 1 March 2018 19:52 (seven years ago)

three weeks pass...

I guess this is old, but I had actual tears:

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/long-road-top-how-bursting-various-boardrooms-and--2308


I’m not embarrassed to say that I’ve got it all: the corner office with my name on the door, the private jet, the black card, the villa on the Riviera, and, yes, more money than I know what to do with. And I’m not ashamed, because everything I have I earned the hard way, through years of flinging open the doors to boardrooms and yelling, “That’s where I come in!”

Sounds easy, right? Like anyone could do it? Sure, and who hasn’t idly daydreamed of kicking open a conference room door in an immaculate suit to announce in a booming basso profundo, “That’s where I come in!” Cue standing ovation. But the fact is, if I’ve succeeded at that once, it’s only because I failed half a million times. God knows I’ve barged through countless doors and bellowed, “That’s where I come in!” before finally reaping the benefits.

The truth is, on nearly all of the occasions I burst into rooms shouting, “That’s where I come in,” the timing was just not right. Sometimes, I’d make my entrance just as everyone was shaking hands and rising to leave; others, when they were still dialing into a conference call. Once, I hollered, “That’s where I come in” during a moment of silence for a recently deceased trustee. Hell, half the time I’d yell, “That’s where I come in!” only to discover I’d burst into a supply closet. Needless to say, I developed a thick skin pretty quick.

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 28 March 2018 17:50 (seven years ago)

Okay, you are Bernie Madoff. You had nothing to do with creating Mario, and you can’t go to PAX because you are in prison.

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 11 April 2018 17:29 (seven years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Da7UEMhUwAAoeHI.jpg

― na (NA), Tuesday, 17 April 2018 16:58 (seven years ago)

this one just killed me

https://www.clickhole.com/6-reasons-brandon-gave-for-why-his-dad-isn-t-around-tha-1825159411

― map, Tuesday, 17 April 2018 20:18 (seven years ago)

two weeks pass...

Diplomatic Snafu: North Korea Is Letting Trump Choose If He Wants Three American Hostages Returned Or A Mysterious Box That Could Have Anything Inside It https://t.co/9XuDxcJxkG pic.twitter.com/sR7jdi2uQf

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) May 3, 2018

enjoyed this

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 4 May 2018 20:23 (seven years ago)

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--wYB1nGDr--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/mbagex8ncapaf15sbnfm.png

― scott seward, Friday, 4 May 2018 20:42 (seven years ago)

I'm a little upset that clickhole has a comment section now

― the yolk sustains us, we eat whites for days (unregistered), Saturday, 5 May 2018 00:09 (seven years ago)

Does it though? I may be wrong but it seemed like the comments were themselves a parody of a comments section

― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Saturday, 5 May 2018 00:33 (seven years ago)

Oh I guess I'm wrong - I think the comments on the first article I saw them on were just so dumb I assumed...

― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Saturday, 5 May 2018 00:35 (seven years ago)

Take That, Drumpf Lovers! A Research Team At MIT Has Conclusively Proved That Trump = Voldemort https://t.co/zrTsrhtNui pic.twitter.com/ErN3zLZMMy

— ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) May 9, 2018

resistancehole

― sprout god (lag∞n), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 16:52 (seven years ago)

faith in humanity restored!

― the late great, Wednesday, 9 May 2018 17:14 (seven years ago)

praise unto the democrat god!

― imago, Wednesday, 9 May 2018 17:23 (seven years ago)

faith in humanity restored!

― the late great, Wednesday, May 9, 2018 1:14 PM (thirty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

― sprout god (lag∞n), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 17:48 (seven years ago)

Mueller's latest genius trap for Drumpf

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 17:52 (seven years ago)

trying to figure out how to pitch this at a couple friends who have fallen into the "Why do we have a president who is mean and boorish! Is this your president, republicans?!?" crap

― mh, Wednesday, 9 May 2018 18:03 (seven years ago)

Good luck and may you never die, my brilliant lover, sir!

― imago, Friday, 11 May 2018 00:50 (seven years ago)

RH is a straight-up spoof of ilx politics

― imago, Friday, 11 May 2018 00:50 (seven years ago)

no it's way more a straight up spoof of r/politics

― Evan, Friday, 11 May 2018 00:52 (seven years ago)

whatever it is, it is too damn funny

― imago, Friday, 11 May 2018 00:59 (seven years ago)

The right-wing version isn't nearly as funny, but this spinoff (?) is https://twitter.com/SenAnitaHawkins

― Dan I., Friday, 11 May 2018 02:56 (seven years ago)

^this man speaks truth

https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/938835383558828033

― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 11 May 2018 08:23 (seven years ago)

Bah

Thanks To You Leftist Fucks Apparently I Am Proud To Support Medicare For All #AnitaApparently4All pic.twitter.com/80kZ2haHhj

— Anita Hawkins (@SenAnitaHawkins) December 7, 2017

― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 11 May 2018 08:24 (seven years ago)

Oops, I used the wrong link for the right-wing one, but it's that "patriothole" that's been around for a while already

― Dan I., Friday, 11 May 2018 12:44 (seven years ago)

Yeah, Patriothole's a bit lukewarm, I guess because those targets have been hit so often it's difficult to do something new w/ them.

Not that I'm suggesting we shouldn't keep punching away tbc.

― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 11 May 2018 12:49 (seven years ago)

we've been living in the patriothole world too long

resistancehole is good

sir, mister poster sir. doctor. my gentleman. why do you keep posting? madam.

― mh, Friday, 11 May 2018 13:49 (seven years ago)

two weeks pass...

Waste Of Time: Starbucks Closed Down For Anti-Bias Training Today Even Though We’ve Moved On And Are Mad About Other Things Now https://t.co/NbISPsOGCo

— ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) May 29, 2018

― k3vin k., Tuesday, 29 May 2018 21:48 (seven years ago)

ahahahaha

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 21:55 (seven years ago)

one month passes...

https://resistancehole.clickhole.com/calling-all-resistance-members-roe-v-wade-is-in-dange-1827213172

resistancehole is justifying its existence

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Thursday, 5 July 2018 15:31 (seven years ago)

oh man, owned!

― flamenco blorf (BradNelson), Thursday, 5 July 2018 17:25 (seven years ago)

don't read the comments

― Simon H., Thursday, 5 July 2018 17:37 (seven years ago)

not entirely surprising

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Thursday, 5 July 2018 17:51 (seven years ago)

People familiar with the company's thinking believe that Univision wants to sell its reported 40% stake in the Onion. Staff tell me that UCI execs don't seem to get the distinctions between sites, and some execs are "not even sure what Clickhole is." https://t.co/Wc3fp7cvl2

— Max Tani (@maxwelltani) July 6, 2018

― Simon H., Friday, 6 July 2018 13:46 (seven years ago)

lmao

do they make money? I always wonder how big the audiences are for the secondary sites (or even the onion)

― k3vin k., Friday, 6 July 2018 16:48 (seven years ago)

don't read the comments

― Simon H., Thursday, July 5, 2018 1:37 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my god, are people really making earnest fucking comments on fucking Clickhole? it never ceases to amaze me how spectacularly people will play themselves.

― evol j, Friday, 6 July 2018 18:18 (seven years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dh7Cck7VAAAP0Og.jpg:small

― mookieproof, Thursday, 12 July 2018 19:50 (seven years ago)

lmfao

The Washington Post keeps citing that Clickhole story for like four grafs pic.twitter.com/OqlGyoxeVM

— Steven Lemongello (@SteveLemongello) July 10, 2018

*Ahem*

This story has been updated to remove material attributed to a satirical Web publication, Clickhole. https://t.co/qxLXFS84Pw

— Washington Post (@washingtonpost) July 10, 2018

― sprout god (lag∞n), Thursday, 12 July 2018 19:51 (seven years ago)

information age of tomorrow

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Thursday, 12 July 2018 19:53 (seven years ago)

Just woke up to realize I forgot Clickhole was a satire website. I hear there are worse ways to wake up.

— Meagan Flynn (@Meagan_Flynn) July 10, 2018

― mookieproof, Thursday, 12 July 2018 19:55 (seven years ago)

lol brutal

― sprout god (lag∞n), Thursday, 12 July 2018 19:57 (seven years ago)

incredible:
https://www.clickhole.com/marketing-win-ray-ban-won-an-award-for-its-incredible-1826873876

― Spencer Chow, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 00:40 (seven years ago)

https://resistancehole.clickhole.com/bad-news-for-the-resistance-sources-close-to-mueller-1826194497

― diamonddave85​​ (diamonddave85), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 17:57 (seven years ago)

jesus god there’s some horribly lurid imagery in there huh

― a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 18:10 (seven years ago)

https://www.clickhole.com/entering-a-new-market-listerine-has-asked-anyone-who-i-1826873473

― evol j, Friday, 27 July 2018 19:17 (seven years ago)

one month passes...

https://scontent-sjc3-1.cdninstagram.com/vp/a1bbe33b461d178493268f8e18d1da3e/5C1AB988/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/p640x640/40967883_2050215411709060_2524109051013365760_n.jpg

― Spencer Chow, Saturday, 15 September 2018 03:02 (seven years ago)

lol

― k3vin k., Sunday, 16 September 2018 17:22 (seven years ago)

two weeks pass...

The Kids At School Bullied Him…Until He Had A Defensive Ink Sac Surgically Inserted Into His Mouth https://t.co/pYPnvVkWKW pic.twitter.com/AAOLZuGdIp

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) October 3, 2018

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 3 October 2018 17:33 (seven years ago)

two weeks pass...

This is top 5 clickhole imo. Up there with Garbage Sons and Geese In Daughter's Bedroom.

https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/5-times-the-animatronic-fox-on-splash-mountain-addresse-1825122431?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=clickhole_copy&utm_campaign=top

― hot dog go to bathroom (cajunsunday), Tuesday, 23 October 2018 17:13 (seven years ago)

After the ride, I told the Disney World employee working the line what had happened, and he just said, “That sounds bad.” But he didn’t do anything.

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 01:46 (seven years ago)

The fact that he gets back on the ride four more times in order for the conceit to work is one of my favorite parts.

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 02:18 (seven years ago)

two weeks pass...

Finding Common Ground: This White Man And This Muslim Woman Both Have ‘Trump’ Painted On Their Garages https://t.co/iOkiLonSuR pic.twitter.com/LxVTbD27Vc

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) November 9, 2018

― Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Friday, 9 November 2018 16:40 (seven years ago)

oh no

― k3vin k., Friday, 9 November 2018 17:01 (seven years ago)

heee

― lag∞n, Friday, 9 November 2018 18:55 (seven years ago)

three weeks pass...

https://i.imgur.com/SuC2IDh.jpg

― ghood ghravie (unregistered), Friday, 30 November 2018 15:54 (seven years ago)

two weeks pass...

https://voices.clickhole.com/the-stories-in-the-flintstones-are-powerful-but-they-1825124094

― Mordy, Sunday, 16 December 2018 16:58 (seven years ago)

two weeks pass...

https://www.clickhole.com/hot-hot-hollywood-armie-hammer-has-removed-his-toupee-1829588651?utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=Twitter&utm_campaign=SF&utm_content=Main

i love the latest house style, and this might be their best headline yet

― imago, Monday, 31 December 2018 18:28 (seven years ago)

agreed, a real corker

― ogmor, Monday, 31 December 2018 20:19 (seven years ago)

one month passes...

This Will Change the Way You Watch 'O Brother, Where Are Thou?' pic.twitter.com/jK5s1MjESw

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) January 22, 2019

― lag∞n, Monday, 11 February 2019 03:16 (six years ago)

Neat!

― ⅋ (crüt), Monday, 11 February 2019 03:30 (six years ago)

dying @ five dollar foot long

― macropuente (map), Monday, 11 February 2019 04:01 (six years ago)

v glad to finally learn what the new deal was

― bhad bundy (Simon H.), Monday, 11 February 2019 04:13 (six years ago)

https://www.clickhole.com/foodies-rejoice-this-chef-make-a-hamburger-1832468254

― na (NA), Tuesday, 19 February 2019 16:35 (six years ago)

https://www.clickhole.com/girl-power-american-girl-has-released-a-new-doll-who-w-1832277584

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 19 February 2019 16:38 (six years ago)

brutal

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 19 February 2019 16:47 (six years ago)

oooof

Her full set includes a newspaper with a front page story about Rosa Parks that she cut out in order to save a story about a local animal shelter from the other side of the page, plus a trophy that her softball team won in their all-white youth league.

― “Emotional Interest Underwear” (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 19 February 2019 16:50 (six years ago)

Fighting Harassment: Twitter Will Now Only Allow Users To Tweet, ‘Die, Bitch’ To Bitches Who Should Die https://t.co/xj0O5BBc0d pic.twitter.com/avUs53JESv

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) February 19, 2019

― we're far from the challops now (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 20 February 2019 02:08 (six years ago)

good pitch honestly https://www.clickhole.com/lucky-to-be-alive-harrison-ford-got-his-sleeve-caught-1832659778

― moose; squirrel (silby), Saturday, 2 March 2019 03:05 (six years ago)

I loled

― kinder, Saturday, 2 March 2019 04:25 (six years ago)

I'd watch that movie

― DJI, Saturday, 2 March 2019 07:14 (six years ago)

three weeks pass...

https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/get-horny-on-these-6-pictures-of-lust-despot-channing-t-1825121420

whoever writes these has the best style on clickhole

― PPL+AI=NS (imago), Saturday, 23 March 2019 00:09 (six years ago)

:D

https://www.clickhole.com/hey-can-you-watch-my-stuff-1825121034

― PPL+AI=NS (imago), Thursday, 28 March 2019 23:05 (six years ago)

this is so good

https://www.clickhole.com/5-signs-your-son-didn-t-pull-the-correct-lessons-from-w-1833546126

― frogbs, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:18 (six years ago)

https://www.clickhole.com/now-that-univision-isn-t-our-corporate-owner-anymore-w-1833891542

― Simon H., Wednesday, 10 April 2019 00:09 (six years ago)

Diversity Fail: Admissions Statistics Show That More Than 90% Of Harvard’s Incoming Freshman Class Is Made Up Of Nerds https://t.co/lThpwu2BPQ pic.twitter.com/ABY1m99qrf

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) April 23, 2019

― person industrial complex (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 23 April 2019 22:41 (six years ago)

two weeks pass...

In 1999, a man wanted to create a foul-tasting donkey poison to kill the noisy donkeys that were living in his house. Today, we call that donkey poison Cap’n Crunch cereal, and we eat it on Memorial Day to punish ourselves for sending our sons and daughters to war.

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) May 8, 2019

― silverfish, Wednesday, 8 May 2019 17:03 (six years ago)

The whole Cap’n Crunch day has been outstanding.

― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Wednesday, 8 May 2019 17:10 (six years ago)

I like to think that whoever came up with this story idea spent the rest of the day on the street, high-fiving strangers

I Put On A Fat Suit To Understand What It’s Like To Be Your Mom https://t.co/HqzCyD6GkY pic.twitter.com/5e4Glh3NUA

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) May 12, 2019

― but everybody calls me, (lukas), Monday, 13 May 2019 00:55 (six years ago)

it's a classic

― kinder, Monday, 13 May 2019 06:32 (six years ago)

two months pass...

Beachgoer Tries To Let The Predator Know There’s A Tampon String Hanging Out Of His Bathing Suit But The Predator Assumes She’s An Attacker And Maces Her pic.twitter.com/WzIYjWWJjV

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) July 17, 2019

― mott the hoopleheads (voodoo chili), Thursday, 18 July 2019 02:45 (six years ago)

https://www.clickhole.com/5-episodes-of-diners-drive-ins-and-dives-where-guy-f-1835414934

― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Thursday, 18 July 2019 15:28 (six years ago)

Jesus Christ lmao

― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 18 July 2019 15:37 (six years ago)

hahahahaha

― k3vin k., Thursday, 18 July 2019 22:12 (six years ago)

two months pass...

Powerful: This Digital Simulation Of A Democrat And A Republican Understanding Each Other Will Fill You With Hope pic.twitter.com/mGDkFXTbJI

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) September 25, 2019

― j., Thursday, 26 September 2019 02:18 (six years ago)

one month passes...

https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/legal-quandary-these-two-brothers-have-been-looking-at-1835751651

― imago, Wednesday, 30 October 2019 22:44 (six years ago)

two months pass...

https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/5-times-he-come-in-looking-all-huge-with-his-jiggling-f-1840489605

― ciderpress, Tuesday, 21 January 2020 22:23 (five years ago)

Teacher's pet!

― DJI, Wednesday, 22 January 2020 00:55 (five years ago)

That Diners & Drive-ins article is so good.

― S-, Friday, 24 January 2020 03:43 (five years ago)

Cards Against Humanity closed a deal to purchase @ClickHole! They will operate independently as a majority employee-owned company. We are extremely honored and excited to support the ClickHole team. https://t.co/QySRwH4lUj

— Max Temkin (@MaxTemkin) February 3, 2020

― iatee, Tuesday, 4 February 2020 15:20 (five years ago)

four months pass...

Truly Depressing: This Elderly 36-Year-Old Man Is Babbling Incoherently About Something Called ‘My Bloody Valentine’ https://t.co/gniXtih0cL

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) June 17, 2020

was this written as a direct personal attack on ilx?

― na (NA), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 17:49 (five years ago)

i guess not since it's 36-year-old man and not 46-year-old man

― na (NA), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 17:50 (five years ago)

i guess not since it's 36-year-old man and not 46-year-old man

― na (NA), Wednesday, June 17, 2020 12:50 PM

was this written as a direct personal attack on ilx?

― pplains, Wednesday, 17 June 2020 19:28 (five years ago)

While funny, it's kind of hardtimes-ish. I prefer my Clickhole more absurd and less on the nose.

― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 18 June 2020 07:23 (five years ago)

The design since they relaunched makes it look more than ever like sort of cheapo Outbrain Taboola thing

― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 18 June 2020 11:36 (five years ago)

I'm glad these guys are posting funny shit on Instagram again but it sucks that their new majority employee-owned status comes via the Cards Against Humanity creep

🧵 Lots of people love Cards Against Humanity (and follow Max Temkin) so let me give you a handful reasons why you should STOP SUPPORTING them immediately.

Max is an abuser. The toxic culture at CAH had horrifying impact on many employees. #CAHisOver

— fantastic ms. (@fox) June 11, 2020

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 18 June 2020 12:56 (five years ago)

"Elderly 36 Year-Old Man" is def funnier than "Elderly 46 Year-Old Man" but yeah, if you're 36 now Loveless came out when you were like 7.

― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Thursday, 18 June 2020 14:39 (five years ago)

Joke's on them, I'm 35 and my recurrent challop is that MBV are dece but overhyped and the s/t is the best thing they've ever done because at least half the songs on Loveless are either middling or cloying or both.

― pomenitul, Thursday, 18 June 2020 14:43 (five years ago)

in "part ownership by a prick, majority ownership by employees" vs "complete ownership by a media conglomerate" I'd go with the former easily tbh

― k*r*n koltrane (Simon H.), Thursday, 18 June 2020 14:47 (five years ago)

CAH is a bad game but i read that twitter thread twice and could not figure out what crime was perpetrated against this employee - or at least she didn't substantiate it in the screenshots she chose to include.

― Mordy, Thursday, 18 June 2020 14:58 (five years ago)

two months pass...

https://clickhole.com/fuck-you-were-putting-family-guy-at-number-1-on-this-list-of-best-tv-shows-ever-and-the-sopranos-isnt-even-on-it-whatre-you-gonna-do-blow-up-our-office-we/

― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Monday, 24 August 2020 16:30 (five years ago)

it really bothers me that they didn't italicize Six Feet Under, and that they picked Wings over Empty Nest, Evening Shade, Life Goes On, and Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, which are all better shows.

― the burrito that defined a generation, Monday, 24 August 2020 16:39 (five years ago)

me every time a post i make doesn't get excelsiored: https://clickhole.com/aw-so-sweet-this-32-year-old-thought-of-the-cleverest-little-joke-to-post-on-social-media/

― ℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Monday, 24 August 2020 19:30 (five years ago)

Does the Excelsior Thread still exist?

― Isinglass Ponys (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 24 August 2020 19:43 (five years ago)

So good

https://clickhole.com/6-myths-about-the-vagina-that-lucas-has-already-debunked-at-13-years-old-dudes-an-absolute-legend/?fbclid=IwAR1iycj-BywjzIdpK6BxFJWrjZzRBsbvV8G1iIfiPSh81twbHUzR53ChUbs

― Darin, Wednesday, 2 September 2020 02:59 (five years ago)

So i know they have the new owners, but Clickhole is just not funny since restarting (have only laughed at recycled posts). Or am I just reading the new ownership into it?

― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 10 September 2020 17:05 (five years ago)

So i know they have the new owners, but Clickhole is just not funny since restarting (have only laughed at recycled posts). Or am I just reading the new ownership into it?

I’ve stooped reading it. The onion surprisingly still delivers (surprising because it’s owned by the people who ruined Deadspin).

― Boring, Maryland, Thursday, 10 September 2020 23:42 (five years ago)

Reductress does many of the things that I used to get out of Clickhole - often better/more pointed

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 11 September 2020 08:46 (five years ago)

Yeah, just had a look on there and quality is still high

https://reductress.com/post/sorry-im-so-out-of-it-says-woman-who-is-literally-always-like-this/

― 这是我的显示名称 (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 11 September 2020 08:49 (five years ago)

Yes! That's more in The Onion style. i like how Reductress blends the broadsheet newspaper stuff and the online clickbaity stuff

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 11 September 2020 09:02 (five years ago)

two weeks pass...

I liked https://www.instagram.com/p/CFutwVGBMY9/?igshid=1p7ssnk3d0w5j

― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 30 September 2020 16:11 (five years ago)

Anna Kendrick said WHAT?!? pic.twitter.com/iw9kD2VUoa

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) October 2, 2020

― lag∞n, Friday, 2 October 2020 18:04 (five years ago)

https://clickhole.com/pointless-drivel-this-book-seems-to-imply-that-you-need-to-say-goodnight-to-the-moon/

― Wayne Grotski (symsymsym), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 18:23 (five years ago)

one month passes...

6 Classic Episodes Of ‘Game Of Thrones’ Where The Characters Mention That The Baby From ‘Dinosaurs’ Is In Prison Where He Belongs https://t.co/2F4krSy5jT

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) November 17, 2020

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 17 November 2020 00:10 (five years ago)

I can't eat if I don't wash my hands first

― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Tuesday, 17 November 2020 04:22 (five years ago)

eight months pass...

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/436/943/93f.jpg

the first time you saw this, did you understand the guy in the photo to be 'the worst person you know' or did you understand the guy in the photo to be 'you', heartbroken by the fact that the worst person you know just made a great point?

since it became a meme it seems like the first interpretation has won out, people photoshopping other people in his place when a real-life 'worst person' makes a good point, but I remember not being sure when I first encountered it?

― soref, Monday, 2 August 2021 19:21 (four years ago)

Looks like Max Tundra

― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 2 August 2021 19:25 (four years ago)

That's obviously the worst person IMO

― Karl Havoc (DJP), Monday, 2 August 2021 19:31 (four years ago)

Max Tundra is 100% good person musically and around 95% same on Twitter.

― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 2 August 2021 19:38 (four years ago)

would you be willing to summarize the 5% that is bad?

― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Monday, 2 August 2021 19:40 (four years ago)

very occasional meltyness

― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 2 August 2021 19:42 (four years ago)

to be clear, I meant the focus of the Clickhole article, not Max Tundra

― Karl Havoc (DJP), Monday, 2 August 2021 19:48 (four years ago)

seems clear that 1) the photo is intended as illustrating 'the worst person' and 2) the whole concept of the article is irredeemably stupid (see also: 'heartbreak' of psoriasis)

― it is to laugh, like so, ha! (Aimless), Monday, 2 August 2021 19:57 (four years ago)

sometimes i wonder what point the clickhole guy is making. is it a point that plays against his type, like you need to be nicer to your wife, or a point that fits his character, something about survival of the fittest or the interlocuter's sexual insecurities?

― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Monday, 2 August 2021 19:57 (four years ago)

one month passes...

Not sure I was ready for "Stolen Valor: This Man Is Wearing a Toupee Despite Having Floor Length Golden Hair"

― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 17:34 (four years ago)

two weeks pass...

https://clickhole.com/major-backfire-a-gop-led-investigation-into-discrimination-against-white-people-has-concluded-nothing-except-that-calling-someone-a-honky-is-actually-very-funny/

― papal hotwife (milo z), Saturday, 25 September 2021 06:40 (four years ago)

two weeks pass...

I Found ClickHole’s “Worst Person You Know”

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 18:05 (four years ago)

that article was terrible

― talkin' about his flat tire (DJP), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 19:05 (four years ago)

Good point

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 19:10 (four years ago)

sorry, could not resist that.

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 19:11 (four years ago)

Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.
Trembling, I tapped out a message to him.

ffs calm down, you weren't tracking down a Nazi war criminal in hiding

― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 19:12 (four years ago)

honestly that was the only "we tracked down this famous person from a stock photo" article that wasn't entertaining

― frogbs, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 19:13 (four years ago)

it does read like a clickhole article, only much less funny

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 19:14 (four years ago)

Good point

okay I lolled

― talkin' about his flat tire (DJP), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 19:20 (four years ago)

Way to lead us on. At least I posted alternate photos of the backpack girl.

― pplains, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 20:02 (four years ago)

yikes

― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Friday, 15 October 2021 01:50 (four years ago)

three months pass...

https://clickhole.com/a-piece-of-history-the-bass-amp-that-gave-away-osama-bin-ladens-position-to-u-s-forces-while-he-was-teaching-himself-to-play-higher-ground-by-the-red-hot-chili-peppers-is/?fbclid=IwAR1xwPOU2M-bn5_y01B8oiQFS5EnUpWFashEjiBh2dlgnp6nU6zTjUvK5WM

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 28 January 2022 00:21 (three years ago)

lol Ultimate-Guitar.com tab reference was A+

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 28 January 2022 00:27 (three years ago)

I'm a little annoyed the photo doesn't actually depict a crate BX-50, which would have been visually funnier as well as accurate

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 28 January 2022 00:29 (three years ago)

https://clickhole.com/a-piece-of-history-the-bass-amp-that-gave-away-osama-bin-ladens-position-to-u-s-forces-while-he-was-teaching-himself-to-play-higher-ground-by-the-red-hot-chili-peppers-is/ for those not inclined to help Meta Inc. track clicks.

― pplains, Saturday, 29 January 2022 14:28 (three years ago)

kidhole

Give Mommy’s Jewelry To Your School Friends!!! https://t.co/mT07LpntMM

— KidHole (@ClickHole) February 2, 2022

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 2 February 2022 16:28 (three years ago)

three months pass...

https://reductress.com/post/what-surprised-me-most-about-becoming-a-parent-was-that-i-was-forced-to-by-the-government/

― Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Thursday, 5 May 2022 19:18 (three years ago)

three months pass...

https://clickhole.com/embracing-his-inner-child-this-man-is-having-more-fun-1825123770/

Didn't see this when it came out; unbelievably cursed

― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 22 August 2022 15:56 (three years ago)

But the doll glimpsed in the photo is clearly inflatable, so why did it come in such a big box?

― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Sunday, 28 August 2022 20:22 (three years ago)

one month passes...

https://clickhole.com/theyre-gonna-collide-these-two-oafs-together-arent-they-these-two-uncles-just-excitedly-posted-on-facebook-that-they-got-a-new-job-at-cern-even-though-neither-of-them-are-scientists-or-anything/?fbclid=IwAR0p8Fy7K5p0JjVbPlUBn9UBKckRCmy06mhaTzGnTGWQOQSC__aF_HXq1nA

― bookmarkflaglink (Darin), Thursday, 27 October 2022 17:55 (three years ago)

two weeks pass...

https://clickhole.com/holding-themselves-accountable-npr-has-apologized-for-the-steve-bannon-tiny-desk-concert-where-he-played-cherry-pie-with-alex-g-and-waxahatchee/?fbclid=IwAR0M5S262cdLMdTwcx62bTZroyGo4dPIsYB6Jq-EtBwN26w-2A0nzqvQe1Q

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 10 November 2022 21:28 (three years ago)

fbclid=IwAR0M5S262cdLMdTwcx62bTZroyGo4dPIsYB6Jq-EtBwN26w-2A0nzqvQe1Q

― G. D’Arcy Cheesewright (silby), Thursday, 10 November 2022 22:07 (three years ago)

I've tried convincing myself that the ?fbclid=IwAR0p8Fy7K5p0JjVbPlUBn9UBKckRCmy06mhaTzGnTGWQOQSC__aF_HXq1nA's are part of the Clickhole joke.

― pplains, Friday, 11 November 2022 16:01 (three years ago)

definitely seems like a subtle sign of decline in quality. Reading the headlines in url form used to be part of the fun

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 11 November 2022 18:07 (three years ago)

sorry if that was a joke itself, but just in case: FB adds those to outbound links, Clickhole has no control over it

― rob, Friday, 11 November 2022 21:34 (three years ago)

Now I'm wondering if rob is part of the joke.

― pplains, Friday, 11 November 2022 21:39 (three years ago)

one month passes...

https://clickhole.com/nothingdiffernt-bewtween-being-alive-and-bring-dead-by-queen-elizabeth-ii/

Lates quan blonk very goos

https://clickhole.com/your-churchs-christmas-pageant-has-a-scene-where-jesus-shaves-his-legs-17-signs-your-priest-is-being-sponsored-by-gillette/

― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 14 December 2022 18:58 (three years ago)

four weeks pass...

Richard D. Zanuck: You can’t make a shark movie without a shark, and we were running into a lot of dead ends because when word got out that we were making a movie that was going to make sharks look like dicks, no one wanted to lend us their sharks.

― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 17:43 (two years ago)

one month passes...

pic.twitter.com/qHaY4dtTon

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) February 21, 2023

― ciderpress, Wednesday, 22 February 2023 19:15 (two years ago)

nine months pass...

I didn't laugh, but I agreed the fuck out of it

https://clickhole.com/nostalgia-overload-todays-throwback-google-doodle-shows-a-guy-in-2013-getting-usable-results-from-his-google-search/

― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 16 December 2023 20:02 (two years ago)

Most of the older links upthread seem to be broken. Probably can find the articles searching but I liked having this thread as an archive.

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 16 December 2023 20:37 (two years ago)

one month passes...

Recent posts are looking a little grim for the site’s future.

― JoeStork, Tuesday, 13 February 2024 00:25 (one year ago)

oh wow

― budo jeru, Tuesday, 13 February 2024 00:38 (one year ago)

It hasn’t been funny in a long time

― B. Amato (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 13 February 2024 03:09 (one year ago)

the kinds of sites it's satirizing have largely gone bankrupt. sad!

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 February 2024 09:41 (one year ago)

well this one made me laugh a lot

https://clickhole.com/beautiful-hall-and-oates-have-reconciled-after-thinking-up-a-song-called-ace-and-a-half-where-a-sexy-lady-plays-cards/

― frogbs, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 05:28 (one year ago)

it's been consistently funny despite its targets vanishing imo

https://clickhole.com/9-freddy-krueger-quotes-you-should-never-repeat-to-a-pregnant-woman/

― Daniel_Rf, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 10:34 (one year ago)

Questions of ongoing relevance or humo aside, just in case anyone isn't taking a peek at their homepage, i think JoeStork was initially referring to these being the top 4 headlines at the time:

The Tragedy Of The American Economy: It Is Now Almost Impossible To Support A Family Of Five On An Online Satirist’s Salary

Job-Hogger: While The Majority Of Her Coworkers Got Laid Off, This Digital Media Employee Is Currently Taking On 4 Jobs’ Worth Of Work

LOL, Good Luck With That: This Writer Believes The $2.5 Trillion Dollar Media And Entertainment Industry Can Somehow Find The Money To Pay Her A Lower-Middle-Class Wage

Inheriting A Trainwreck: The Few Remaining Employees Of This Gutted Digital Media Outlet Are Holding A Seance To Contact A Recently Deceased Coworker Who Has Sole Admin Privileges For Their Company’s Facebook Page

― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:17 (one year ago)

also that same day:

Just Because A Job Is Useless Doesn’t Mean It’s Okay When It Abruptly Ends

― The Yellow Kid, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:18 (one year ago)

eight months pass...

https://clickhole.com/halloweem-inst-just-abount-being-spokky-it-also-amount-being-string-by-queen-elizabeth-ii/

But This Halloweef, whether you;re’re dressed Up as Vampirer, Drancula , Wereloft, Franklesteins, Mumming , Another Drancula, Jack-o-Lamtroft, Scorffs, Sexy Unabomper, Creatured, Baseball, Drains, Lockness Mobster, Ghrost, Paul Bunyan , Jasom, Friendly from Nutmare on BelmStreet, Hellraisin (Ponhead), No mask or costube just Bad Attitube, Klinkon from Star Trenk , Star War man , , , ,, ,,wife , a Alien or two , Oatmeal Face , Largest Head Anyone ever seen , A Trampoline Accident Child, Mrs. Bunterworth , m,, Chris Angel Mindfrank , Penn andteller, Cursed Wallet, Chris Angel , Mindfreak , TV’s Timothey Chalmeteo , Gross Ball , Five Year old who Already has pubic chair, video game man (Marion, Luigio, Ms. Pac Map)_ , Sexy Beavil and Buttthole, South POark, Foot Message, , , , Festivities mm , Sexy your own mom , , m mmmm Bbbeetlejucie, m you gotta remember to not just Be spokky, but also be string.

― scott seward, Thursday, 31 October 2024 23:32 (one year ago)

three weeks pass...

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ccrabc6xdnjx4l7btvynnng4/bafkreigdkjqtdbk5hedoasym5guw2gdyfsowqh3k3lfj34rhbmjx727j5e@jpeg

― lag∞n, Thursday, 21 November 2024 14:56 (one year ago)

charli xcx otm

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 21 November 2024 17:22 (one year ago)


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