X Factor (UK) 2014

Starts tonight at 8PM, ITV1.

BatmanX Factor Begins

Female Jedward /switches off TV

I really enjoyed seeing Simon Cowell jumping on a guitar until it was destroyed, poptimism metaphors writ large, even if only relating to his brand of corporately homogenic mediocrity.

Just catching up on the first two episodes now. First 15 minutes were basically like a non stop One Direction advertisement.

Pretty strange to see the guy from Freak Power auditioning as part of The Kitten in the Hip.

Just got to a montage where I think we're supposed to be laughing at all the foreign contestants. It's very uncomfortable to watch.

Live shitefest begins in 30 minutes.

Stereo Kicks?

Overload Generation moer liek Overtired Generation. Sounded like five lads at a school talent contest pretending to be Wand Erection.

If Stephanie has such a unique voice, we don't get to hear it over the clutter of this backing track.

Stereo Dicks?

Eight of them, and it seems that only one of them can sing (the one with the big hair), the second solo singer (the one with the plugs) sounds like he's got a mouthful of cotton wool, and the other six can't sing at all. Their unison harmonies make Westlife seem like The Beach Boys. The uncertainty during the "Roar-or-or-or ororor" bit was painful.

Judges thought they were graet

They thought that Jack Walton was great as well.
Nobody worry about trying to remember the names of all eight of the members of teh Stereos btw, you'll only have to remember James, since he's the only one who can actually sing.

"I Belize your mind"?

The Italian pug guy is the best they've ever had on this show. He could win this is his sleep.

I have a feeling Jay James is going to be this years Danyl Johnson. There's something very unlikeable about him. Feel like they're going to push him really hard but ultimately the public just won't buy into him.

Simon saying "You've worked out who the best singers are" to Stereo Kicks/Ejacul8 was pretty funny as only two out of the eight actually got to sing. Truly awful performance from them. In the same league as the worst One Direction performances. Simon giving them that much praise means we know they are totally serious about pushing these guys all the way. He must know One Direction are going to be winding down soon and he's trying to act fast.

Stop saying chicks Simon.

Dermot seems to be phoning it in more than ever. He was barely used in the earlier episodes and he really doesn't seem to be into right now. Him cutting off Jay and Lauren when they were responding to his generic questions were quite telling. "Yeah yeah yeah" to Lauren and saying "Alright" half way through James telling us how happy he was to be on the show before basically pushing him off the stage.

Lauren was probably my favourite of the night.

Andrea is probably the person that will win the vote every week until right at the end when they'll find some way to sabotage him to make sure someone that's hipper (In their eyes) will win instead, just like they did with James and Jahmene a couple of years ago. Probably have an album of ballads out for mother's day. Think they'll be doing what they can to make Stereo Kicks, Ben or Lola a winner instead.

Boys:

• Paul - generic boy-band-member-goes-solo vocals. A reasonable singer, just not very interesting. He'll probably go early simply because hardly anyone will remember to vote for him.
• Jack (Simon's wildcard) - Wand did this gender flip thing with Rihanna's 'Only Girl In The World' and made it sound super-crepe. Jack sounded less crepe but probably by being rather bland. Judges loving this for some reason. Also, first acoustic guitar sighting of this series.
• Jay Quickenden - sleepwalked his way through 'She's The One', the high note at the end just making it worse.
• Andrea - guy who looks like the next Sasha Baron-Cohen character turns out to have the best voice in the contest by far. Seriously, right now there's no-one to touch him. It doesn't matter what the producers try to do to get Stereo Dicks or whoever more votes, the only way Andrea isn't going to be in the final is if he gets deported.

• Lola (Louis' wildcard) - I thought Lola's performance was a bit anonymous, but she was clearly nervous right at the beginning.
• Stephanie - top quality shit advice from Cheryl in the VT: "Use the dancers, pretend they're your band members". She got swamped by the backing track when it kicked in after the quiet intro. If she's got a unique voice, we don't get to hear much of it. Oh, and another 80s styled act who was born after the decade ended.
• Chloe Jasmine - “A jazz version of 'Toxic'.” I don't like the Waissel/Brucknell angle of the VT, but she's an interesting singer. Paul Anka's 'Rock Swings' by way of the Chicago soundtrack. Although it'll get old quick if she rolls that out every week.
• Lauren - best singer after Andrea.

• Overload Generation (Mel B's wildcard) - another gender flip song that just comes off sounding weird. As with nearly all XF boybands, only one and a half decent singers, and then not really even.
• Stereo Dicks - worst XF boyband ever? Just a shitty incompetent mess. Eight members and literally the only one who can sing worth even a half chewed toffee is James. The one with the ear plugs (although not the sound reducing kind unfortunately) sounds like he's got a mouthful of cotton wool, and the other six can't sing at all. They could be chopped down to a four piece and there'd be no difference. In fact I predict that's probably going to happen, probably through some 'surprise shocking revelations' about past misdeeds ("Jimmy has been asked to leave the band over shock revelations that he once saw someone smoke a joint!"). Their unison harmonies make Westlife seem like The Beach Boys. The uncertain glances between them during the "Roar-or-or-or ororor" bit was painful.
• Blonde Electra - Louis' joke pick. Jedward meets The Scissor Sisters. Simon is not amused. The one with short hair has a beyond-early-Madonna nasal voice. TBF their rendition of 'Kids In America' wasn't a total disaster. Brian Friedman clearly taking the piss even at this point.
• Only The Young. It's been a while since XF has had a mixed male/female group, last one I think lasted about two weeks before being voted off. They really need to come up with something more dynamic and original, or they'll drop out early with no-one remembering them.

• Jay James – They hit all the sob story elements in the first ten seconds of the VT: ex soldier, away from his family, blah blah blah. The lyrics are strangely prescient and indicative of the future: "I've been here too long".
• Stevi Ritchie (Cheryl's wildcard) – sure he's not related to Shane Ritchie? He combines that style of look-at-me cheeky chappie twuntishness with a really manipulative 'family man' VT. 'Livin' La Vida Loca' – Wanger's version was much better. Stevi's was out of breath half way through the song. Probably in the running for being voted this week.
• Ben Haenow - comes across as very likeable. 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' not a good song choice though, it really showed up the deficiencies in his singing that might have been masked by something more uptempo.
• Fleur East - seems very motivated. Her singing didn't really drive the track like Meghan Trainor does in the original version.

Oh and (singing ability aside) it'll be worth having Andrea in the final just to see the fuck-awful Christmas jumper he'll be wearing.

I have a feeling Jay James is going to be this years Danyl Johnson. There's something very unlikeable about him. Feel like they're going to push him really hard but ultimately the public just won't buy into him.

ikwym, i'm wondering if it's the naval thing - have a tentative hypothesis that the great british public love servicemen in the abstract, from a slight distance, but find them quite weird when looking closely (evidence: jay james).

feels like a poor year (& has done throughout auditions). boring returnees, likeable enough 2nd-raters, very little real talent outside Andrea.

^^^ I think the final four can be more or less called right now: Andrea, Lauren, Chloe, Ben if he finds his milieu. Of course Chloe or Ben might get knocked out by one of the boy bands, but they're both so bad I don't think it's likely this year.

Basically agree, but I'd probably switch Jay for Chloe, despite my comment above. Chloe… a lot of people hate her already, and I can't see a way back. There's a fundamental sincerity problem – the pretend-posh thing really puts people's backs up. On top of that, coke and Killing Kittens stories that are swirling around already… can't mind-read middle england but I think they shrink from that sort of (v london) party girl.

otoh i reckon she's probably an order of magnitude ahead of the rest of the pack in terms of coverage and clicks, so you could be right – through to the final four after judges save her from the bottom two a couple of times, knocking out a better-liked singer and generating explosion of rage and abuse across social media.

Waisell stayed around for ages, even when she sat down and stopped singing halfway through her survival song one week. Additionally, I think the kind of people who are hating Chloe aren't going to vote for anyone else anyway.

^^^ I think the final four can be more or less called right now: Andrea, Lauren, Chloe, Ben if he finds his milieu. Of course Chloe or Ben might get knocked out by one of the boy bands, but they're both so bad I don't think it's likely this year.

― wackness unlimited (snoball)

Chloe will be kept in until just before the final when they'll probably want rid of her. Agree that Ben, Andrea and possibly Lauren will get there. Not sure who the favourite girl will be yet. Think they've been pushing Lola from the beginning (Anyone know what she does for a living by the way?) but Lauren clearly out sang her last night and has much more star quality. I originally thought Stereo Kicks would easily make it to the final but last night was an absolute disaster for them. Think One Direction were a real one off and the producers need to realise that. Just ask Rough Copy, Kingsland Road, Union J, The Risk, No Vibe and District 3.

Katie Waisell was pretty entertaining at times. Her sing offs were always really interesting in the way they were so passionate and desperate. They did well to keep her in so long really.

I read somewhere else how in 2009 Simon obviously wanted Danyl to be his next big star, he pushed him like no one else I've ever seen on the show really but half way through realised Olly was going to be the chosen one, so started pushing him instead. Think that will the same situation with Ben and Jay. Jay was being pushed so hard in the auditions (Two pimp slots and a ridiculous amount of praise) but there's not really a way he can come back from what they did to him at judge's houses. Is it known on here that he already released an album in 2012 (Available on Amazon) and toured with Rebecca Ferguson? He did a couple of interviews where he said how great she was despite not being a fan of X Factor.

I really feel bad for Jake. Decent singer and seems like a nice guy but it's clear he's heading in a Lloyd Daniels or Sam Callahan direction. "You're not the best singer but the girls love you" will turn into much worse later when they want rid of him. His VT last night showed him with his top off working out and I'm sure that won't be the last time. Lloyd and Sam were two of my favourite comedy performers on the show. Lloyd for his amazing takes on Bleeding Love, Faith and I Kissed a Girl and Sam for that whole VT he had last year about being desperate to play guitar one week (Big risk and all that, can he pull it off etc?) for him to mess up the guitar part within seconds of the live show and the backing track being brought in to get him back on track. Not sure Jake will have those comedy gold moments but girls reactions will be mentioned every single week as they were with those guys (Even though Lloyd was gay)

Quite like Only the Young, well compared to the other bands anyway. Last night's song choice gave me Same Difference vibes. Think they could do a lot better but think with Louis in charge there's not much chance of that happening.

(Anyone know what she does for a living by the way?)

lol.

Was discussing last year's & couldn't remember Sam Bailey's name until I tried putting 'prison officer' before the blank space in my sentence.

How have they not realised that the public pick up on these things yet? You'd have thought they would have learned not to push their jobs or the sob stories after what happened with Tesco Mary or the guy who always went on about his dead wife. Blanking on his actual name but he made Louis cry in a sing off which was one of my all time favourite X Factor moments.

Poor Sam Bailey. Will she be the first winner not to get a performance on the live show since Steve Brookstein?

by judges' houses we were already discussing whether fish or shoes was more likely to go through.

Surprised nobody's calling Fleur East as a possible winner here.

by judges' houses we were already discussing whether fish or shoes was more likely to go through.

― woof,

Ha! Poor shoes.

Surprised nobody's calling Fleur East as a possible winner here.

― Mark G

Not sure I can see it with the lack of screen time she's been given so far. She's the standout of the overs but that's not really saying much. I looked up her original audition in 2005 with Addictiv Ladies and actually remembered it surprisingly.

I like her but she's inconsistent (from the small amount I've seen) – the judges' houses Bang Bang was great but then she's a bit not-quite at other times, eg I wasn't at all sure last night (but it was an odd song choice imo & that distracted me).

& should say that though tho' the contenders are sub-par I am so happy that Gary fucking barlow has gone.

✓

"will be revealed after the break"
FUCK YOU DERMOT

Louis down to a piss-awful boyband and a group he doesn't understand what to do with.

If so, the group have got a chance.

I'm fairly certain the only reason that other boyband were brought back was to make Ejacula8 seem even better. Simon made it so clear when he was kicking them last night.

Jessie J and Maroon 5 next week. Might have to give that show a miss. Wouldn't it be good to have Ella Henderson on instead as her album is out this week and her second single already slightly underperfomed. You would have thought they'd want to actually show one of their success stories on the show. Olly and One Direction will be on soon but really that's not a lot to show for 10 seasons of the show. Even Leona has buggered off now.

Did anyone else hear Cheryl tell Stephanie "You've got it" before the sing-off?

xp

that makes sense about boyband b – I was surprised they were brought back tbh, they seemed wilful & (apparently) have an established social media power-base, ie entirely too autonomous for the syco machine.

I was hoping that this week's theme of 'I Love The 80s' would mean the 1880s.

Andrea takes the theme to mean 'I Love The Eurovision 80s'.

Ben should have sung 'Don't Dream It's Over' by Crowded House.

The Jesus and Mary Chain released "April Skies" in the 80s

Rickrolled by a flat singing twunt.

this is the worst cover version ever

be more specific, they all could be

500 miles

Slowing down a song is not some kind of world shaking move. It's how they make the backing track for a Sainsbury's advert. Why are there so many close ups on Cheryl's expressionless face?

Well, "That's Entertainment"

Fleur might suffer in the vote, for the usual reasons, though I thought she was great.

Usually hate things like Only The Young on X-Factor, but they're lovely.

The soldier guy I hate on principle, but his Proclaimers thing was actually OK! If you're gonna watch this guff - which I do enthusiastically - you've got to reframe your sense of aesthetics. You can't think in musical terms but rather bow down and consider what would e.g make a good Sainsbury's advert. And this would be a good one!

I liked the fake posh girl tonight most of all. She sang great and Fame is the best song. Theoretically, it's the same song as the Whitney one that Andrea sang, but it's human and hopeful and vulnerable where One Moment In Time is just fascist and inhuman. Big misstep to do that.

In their VT Only The Young seemed like an actual band in the way they approached how they'd arrange their song, something we haven't really seen since JLS?

Andrea's song choice seemed like a mis-step, but it's early in the series and he isn't going anywhere for a while, so there's plenty of time. Chloe is in a more precarious position, her 'Chicago' musical stylings need switching up with something else.
Stereo Dicks: eight boys in a band and all of them are white? How did that slip past? And their song choice was typical Louis / late period Boyzone.
Stevi sang his entire song flat while mugging for the cameras. I can't see how he'll not be in the bottom three, OTOH he's probably got a cloth-eared fanbase already who just eat up this Butlins redcoat / cruise ship nonsense.
Lauren is technically a good singer, but the slower the song the less of her personality comes through. There's only a limited number of times a singer can do this kind of glacial performance on XF before it starts to get boring.

i've had good times on x factor threads past, but i just can't watch this show any more. i get thirty seconds in and it feels like i'm punishing myself. keep fighting the good fight, everybody :'(.

Just started watching. Already they've played Cameo and The Human League in the background. Would be great if either of those bands were covered on the show tonight. Not going to get my hopes up.

Five minutes in and One Direction have already had their weekly bit of promotion.

I shouldn't be surprised that they're making my favourite decade for music seem so boring.

Stereo Kicks might be the worst boy band they've had. The backing track on the chorus was shameless just like all those One Direction performance from 2010 but somehow they even more hateable. Instead of having just one Louis Tomlinson they have four of them. Cheryl's comment about them basically not having a fanbase was amazing.

I don't know how anyone can sing If You Don't Know Me By Now with a straight face when this exists.

http://youtu.be/QlSv818d1Rk

Oh shit, they're pushing Jay James again and it might just be working. His version is currently in the top ten on iTunes.

Have I missed someone, or does Stephanie being voted off make Fleur the only non-white contestant left?

So we lose a potentially interesting singer in Chloe, but the piss-poor Westlife karaoke boys continue.

Chloe might be a potentially interesting singer but she was honking like a goose today. She really fucked it up.

did they put studio kicks together rom auditionees? they couldn't find a singe non-white guy?

Chloe sounded like she wanted out.

It doesn't matter how Chloe sang in the sing off she was fucked the moment she was going up against Stereo Kicks. Simon and the producers are really counting on something happening with these guys. Apparently on Extra Factor Louis was claiming He never wanted eight members in the band and it was all Simon's idea, even going on to blame him for why it's just not working. When asked about their future he said "I'm going to talk to the boys" They will lose at least two of those members by the end of the week.

I wasn't a massive fan of Chloe or Steph but at least they gave the show some variety. Losing the will to keep up with this show now. Like the last couple of years I'm all about wanting to see people I hate kicked out (Stereo Kicks and Jay James mainly) instead of supporting any of the finalists.

If they keep going with the Stereo Kicks thing, it might just be the one thing that kills off the golden goose. No audience likes to be felt like they are being spoon-fed. Even if that's what happens most of the time, they don't want to be told in naked terms "you will buy this".

One of the 'solo' spots from one of the stereo kickers was woeful in the extreme, the guy clearly could not sing a note.

Nala had promise but her voice was too Aluna Francis-y for X-Factor in the end. Feel like it's Platt or Fleur who'll end up on Duke Dumont singles in 18 months anyway.

Chloe was vile, glad to see her out. Can't see anything other than a PUGS victory though.

Have I missed someone, or does Stephanie being voted off make Fleur the only non-white contestant left?

During judges' houses, I was convinced no non-white contestants were going through – I'd have said Stephanie least likely of the girls, and until Fleur killed it & Welsh mother-of-two had a panic attack, I was pretty sure it was Welsh mother-of-two/Haenow/sailor. I was thinking it was some dark-hearted pandering to a smaller, older more ahem 'conservative' audience, but then Fleur and Stephanie went through so

Everything's

Fine.

Really.

Comments about lack of enthusiasm otm - I'm struggling this year. No-one I really like.

Still seeing Andrea in the final, but he might wear thin pretty soon – doesn't help that Mel seems to be an unusually incompetent mentor.

Basically see Stereo Kicks as a weird experiment that still could pull something off, but yeah Mark G maybe otm, it's so blunt & obvious no-one is really engaging. Feels like there's a mob on stage.

The obvious thing to do would be to have a 2nd poll each week on the worst member of stereo kicks, then during the next performance a sniper with a tranquiliser gun picks that member off. Obvs neither they not Louis know which member will be shot.

That is an amazing idea. I think the cardboard cutout guy would be the first one to be taken out. If he's too young to actually feature on Xtra Factor it's an easy choice to get rid of him first. Personally my least favourite member is the quiff guy who is obviously being pushed as the lead singer. His singing face is rather unfortunate. http://www.essexchronicle.co.uk/Stereo-Kicks-star-James-voice-rest-fresh-X-Factor/story-23184088-detail/story.html

James Graham has a cold by Gay Talese

I felt embarrassed for Simon after Stereo Kicks performed so badly on Saturday but he still came out with his usual "I'm excited about this band" "I can see you growing as a band" type comments. Since he put them together he's clearly trying to brainwash the public which I thought might work when they were at the six seat challenge but it's obvious there's no chance of that now. It's kind of like when he tried to push Danyl week after week in 2009 even though it was obvious the public were not going for him (Calling him worse than Hitler etc) Simon carried on each week trying to make him the star he believed he was even though he had Olly and even Joe right there in front of him.

They're not even his act!

Not his act as in not in his category, but if he's one of the people putting the group together surely he gets a stake in them. Just realised it's probably a lot easier to put a boyband together these days (and market them) if you have thousands of solo X factor auditionees to choose from and can put them on telly every week for a couple of months.

i'm amazed that that just occurred to you!

every act is simon's act surely

I watched Xtra Factor last (Because I hate myself obviously) It really isn't looking good for a few of those boys. Louis kept going about how he never wanted eight in the band. When the host asked what he was going to do he basically kept repeating "I'll talk to the boys" When she pushed him and asked him if he had the power to make changes in the group (Obviously he doesn't) He made it sound like he was hoping a few of them might volunteer to leave. I'm kind of excited to see they handle this. They will either carry on and be out in two weeks (Following the same pattern as Kingsland Road from last year) or they will kick out three members which I'm sure will also kill them off, just like The Risk from 2011 when they replaced a member. Bad luck Simon!

It's 'mangle a song from a movie' week.
Jake is already running on vapour - when the judges start saying things like “you're a really really nice guy”, it's all but over for that act.

It's acapella, not acapello, you candy floss haired fuck.

Stereo Dicks octo-turd of a rendition of Let It Be and Hey Jude. If it wasn't so awful it'd be funny.

I thought Dermot wasn't supposed to have favourites. After Jake performed he asked "Do you think you're good enough to stay?" after some pretty negative comments. When Jay got one criticism from Cheryl He said back to judges "Come on now, we're just splitting hairs here. That was an amazing performance."

Of course Andrea was going to do Listen. I have no idea why this gets done every single year when no one will ever top the Alaxandra/Beyonce version. Still my favourite X Factor moment ever.

Mine too, KP.

We'll never get a year like that again.

Very interested to see what was going on with Mel and Jack. He seemed really annoyed and I don't think I've ever seen a judge be that harsh on one of their own acts "If you make it through to next week" isn't exactly the most encouraging thing she could say.

Really poor show this week. Even Lauren sounded a bit off when she got to the chorus. Only the Young were out of tune on their verses. Lola was probably the worst so far which is saying a lot when I think of some of the horrible noises that came from Jay. So far I'm thinking it will be a bad week for Mel.

Jack will get through on pecs appeal for a few more weeks. my guess is that he's realised he doesn't want to be the kind of pop star that the x factor want him to be. i'm not saying he's a credible artist in his own right but he does seem to be a fairly "cool" teenager. i reckon he's just bit embarrassed by the whole thing.

mel seems to be really pissed off, she was even drawing daggers at dermot.

i'm not sure how i got into watching this again. i've not see the last two years and couldn't even tell you who won last year.

Seems like there's some crazy damage control going on with Stereo Kicks. The judges reactions were kind of sickening and more forced than ever. Simon saying he wants to mentor them is possibly the least shocking thing that happened tonight.

i'm not sure how i got into watching this again. i've not see the last two years and couldn't even tell you who won last year.

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_)

Did you see the show in 2010? If so, imagine a slightly more likeable version of Tesco Mary that instead of working in Tescos was a prison officer. That's who won. She already had an album of covers out for Mother's Day. Last year was Leon Jackson era bad but they didn't even have a Rhydian to liven things up.

Wow, Ben's VT makes him out to be a bit of a dick. Good to see I Don't Want to Miss a Thing making a comeback. This must be the most performed song on the show. Brings back memories of my favourite Danyl performance. Think it was the week he sulked as he'd been in the bottom two the week before so he came and sang most out of it out of key just to stick it to us. Good times.

ah yes now i remember sam bailey.

ben surely can't be a dick. louis said he was the nicest guy in the house!

I thought he seemed like a decent guy but that reaction to Mel's comment last week was pretty bad. Calling himself a threat to the others is hardly going to endear him to the public. Was really surprised to see Simon slag off his song choice too. Up until tonight I thought he would easily make the final. At this point Lauren is the only person I can see winning.

louis said he was the nicest guy in the house!

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_),

Louis' behaviour seems even more strange than usual this year. Feel like more than ever he just doesn't give it a shit about anyone there.

i have to admire the grace with which he handles the insults thrown at him several times per show.

either that or he doolally and doesn't even realise he's being made a c*nt of.

Yeah, it's really tough to say. Such a strange man.

I take his fundamental principle to be a willingness to say and do anything he's told (by producers, cowell etc), and take any shit thrown at him – I think he never forgets that he is paid a huge amount to spout strange autopilot nonsense each week, and he is perfectly willing to follow the panto script. Most other judges have a smidgeon of integrity and kick against that at some point.

This doesn't prevent him simultaneously being an idiot, or doolally of course.

Simon is one of those people who is obviously full of shit but he had a couple of rare honest reactions tonight. Reflecting on last night saying how terrible was Lola was and then his comment on how awful the sing offs were. He's right about both those things. All six of the sing offs have been truly unbearable this year. I'm sure none of them have sounded that bad in the past (Especially not Only the Young) I miss the days of Katie Waissel and Ruth Lorenzo who actually understood what a save me song was supposed to be. I honestly couldn't believe how bad Only the Young were. Reminded me of Rosie Ribbons murdering the same song back on the first season of Pop Idol.

Incredibly bad group performance too. It totally gave away why Andrea hasn't been given any upbeat songs and probably never will. Still seeing him as this year's Jahmene Douglas. There's no chance they'll let this guy win.

Genuinely quite cringe-making the sing-offs. Contestants just wandering onto stage and bollocksing up a tune. The shouty vein-popping climax from taller OTY bloke was murder.

A really dismal year. Andrea's limitations are showing and even Lauren, who I'd peg as the winner atm, is a bit of an odd one in likeability terms - the engaging self-possession sometimes spills into an unheimlich confidence – it's not quite arrogance or entitlement, but I can still see her suffering for it at the sharp end.

Yeah I feel kind of bad for that OTY guy. If he watches that back he's going to be so embarrassed. Half way through it he had a look on his face that looked like he knew how bad it was going but there was no turning back. Don't think they'll recover from that.

I really thought they might get it right this year but at this stage it looks like the producers are pushing Stereo Kicks they've failed to realise they are now stuck with a bunch of people as exciting as Matt Cardle.

Totally agree with what you said about Andrea. He has nothing else to offer and I'm already very bored of him. I could never understand why people were saying he'd one it on that first show. Also agree with your thoughts on Lauren. I noticed a couple of weeks ago on Xtra Factor when Chloe was talking to the host, Lauren looked over at Lola and rolled her eyes in a way that was pretty obvious what she was thinking. She does have something about her that makes her seem a little over confident. Performance wise she's a bit of a step down from Ella Henderson. If Ella couldn't win, I'm not sure what will give Lauren the edge for her to make it.

What's most depressing is the iTunes positions for the last couple of weeks. Last week they pushed Jay so much and it worked getting him in the top 10. This week Stereo Kicks are currently the highest of all the acts. Are these really the acts the producers want to win?

I haven't watched any of the live shows this year but I caught the sing-off last night and my goodness it was bloody shit.

Are these really the acts the producers want to win?

Yes.

But when they are stuck with the acts they want at the end ofthe process, and they are setting out their end-of-year bring and buy sale, and the single doesn't shoot straight to number one..

Then it'll be curtains for the show.

It's too tempting to grab the controls of the juggernaut if you think it's going off the road. Basically, they don't trust the audience to vote for what they actually want, and they feel they have to educate them into selecting the right thing.

Back then, they wanted Gareth Gates to win, he did not.

Will Young got a decent career, Gareth didn't as much.

Had G won, it would have made no difference to how it turned out.

Frightening...
(Simon's botox, obviously)

I have just turned over for the first time in ages. I remember this git from the audition stages. That was horrific. Nice to see that Louis is still clearly unhinged.

I guess the joke shop had run out of arrows-through-the-head.

Actually Stevi's voice isn't that bad – if he got rid of the cheeky chappy act and wasn't full of himself, he'd be a reasonable candidate. He's prepared to take some risks and do different things, but he falls short because of this overwhelming need to be liked.

Half of the acts are full of themselves, the other half are unsure of themselves, while Andrea's in the middle without much of a strong idea of his own about how he wants to put himself across (Asda Mephisto anyone?). Mel B and Cheryl (especially) are trying to mould their acts according to what they are judges want, without regard for what the acts themselves want.

Strange show tonight. Only the Young and Stevi were the two I enjoyed the most which just doesn't seem right. I enjoyed Lauren more because I like the song but she did seem a little more nervous than usual. Loved how her whole VT was about the pressure of her having to do some dance moves which ended up lasting for around five seconds. Fleur's overall performance was great but the vocals were a little shaky at the beginning. The rest of the contestants I either hate or sometimes forget they even exist.

I hate how on the show you can now see who will leave a mile off. It was obvious each week who was going so far (Especially when it came to Steph and Jake) there was no surprise it would be Jack tonight after Mel's comments last week. Tomorrow could potentially be the first time it's not totally obvious. They seemed to want to kill Stevi with kindness tonight and all the comments were basically "You've dreamt of doing this performance all your life" Translating as you've peaked and this is as good as it's going to get for you. I have a feeling his fan base might be a little too big to get rid of him this week but I'm sure his time will be up very soon. Paul could go after what they did to him tonight. His VT had Mel saying "He's complaining about everything"and Simon told him to "lighten up." I'm not a big fan of Paul but that was so unfair after they showed Only the Young bitching about their song choices for two weeks in a row and many others have said they're not happy with their choices too. They clearly are getting ready to dump him. No idea why the judges/producers are still trying to make Lola happen. It's just not working at all. I would love a shock eviction tomorrow with either Jay or Stereo Kicks going.

Oh and Simon saying to Stereo Kicks "The last two weeks you've become a band" and "The last two weeks I've started believing in you" are exactly the same things he said for the first two weeks where every single person could see it wasn't working except him. After some rare honesty last week he's back to his old full of shit ways. They may have got more of Stereo Kicks to sing these last few weeks but the use of backing vocals on the chorus were ridiculous. One Direction levels of ridiculous.

When all of Stereo Dicks are singing at the same time, it's no longer bad enough to make people's ears bleed. That's about as generous as I can be with them. The rest of the time their sound ranges from instantly forgetable (Big Hair, Ear Plugs) to fucking dreadful (pretty much all the other six).
I can believe that Stevi has some kind of bizarre Anton du'Beke style following now who will vote for him no mater what, resulting in him getting through to the last six.
Only The Young are creeping (geddit?! ah fuggedabhautit) closer to Same Difference territory. They're a increasingly bland, and they don't even have the refuge in audacity of Jedward's terribleness.

Don't you think they're relying on a backing track for those vocals in the chorus though?

There's enough of them singing that there could be a 'school choir' effect kicking in - many crap singer blending together into a passable voice. But OTOH I wouldn't be surprised if they were being assisted by some BVs.

"I can see the Milky Way
and it seems so far away"

*snickers*

Yet another terrible group song tonight. Not sure exactly what Ben was going for but it sounded incredibly painful.

Cannot believe we had a second chance to get rid of Stereo Kicks and it didn't happen. Pretty amazing that their sympathy bounce from last week didn't last longer than a whole week. Just shows that this band are just not going to happen. I was amazed Simon opted to send them home. Maybe he's finally had enough of them too? Before the results came in it was a bit sneaky of him to say "They didn't have the right song last night" Why didn't he say that on the show last night? Anyway, obviously Mel is to blame for all of this. I've not been a fan of Lola at all but her sing off was really good and Stereo Kicks put in yet another rubbish performance.

This week's theme: Queen vs Michael Jackson ffs

https://31.media.tumblr.com/2c10bc20f49367537deb5c4b02fe42fa/tumblr_mlio67wvxG1rnr47go2_250.gifhttps://31.media.tumblr.com/2c10bc20f49367537deb5c4b02fe42fa/tumblr_mlio67wvxG1rnr47go2_250.gifhttps://31.media.tumblr.com/2c10bc20f49367537deb5c4b02fe42fa/tumblr_mlio67wvxG1rnr47go2_250.gif

Paul been best in this for the last two weeks at least yet he's bookies favourite to go.

His appearances so far in the live shows are from the Gary Barlow school of 'excitement', ie total boredom. I'm not convinced by his performance primarily because Paul's not convinced of his performance.

The went for Paul last week was kind of brutal. He actually went up in my estimation when he stood up to Simon. It wasn't quite Will Young levels of brilliant but it showed that he cares a lot more than it sometimes comes across. He's not exactly the most exciting singer but out of the remaining Matt Cardles I'd take him over Jay and Ben easily.

Supposed to say The way they went for Paul last week there..

Well there we go. Paul starts to show the slightest glimmer of a personality and it gets stomped out by Louis 'Dreamcrusher' Walsh.

i didn't see last night's but this was mighty depressing. that soldier guy sounds like a fire alarm going off without being able to hit the notes.

Can't believe how easily the show is making its targets clear and them taking them out with such ease. There's no way Paul should have gone over Jay. Giving him that song and putting him on first was so blatant. Can't believe they had the chance to get rid of the two worst acts in the last couple of weeks but kept them both in. Fuck this show really.

Stereo Kicks are unbelievably bad. I don't understand how or why the judges don't admit it.

When the time comes, they will chow down on them. (excl Louis, being mentor, obv)

I take solace in the families on Gogglebox eviscerating them.

Like last week, when they were in the sing-off?

BIG BAND NIGHT
oh... hooray

Big band rendition of 'Oh Fortuna', thank for pissing in my ears, X Factor.

I blame Robbie Williams for all of this.

They've Wangerised Stevi. Also ffs Ricky Martin is not big band music.

Wanger's version of 'She Bangs' was way better than this. It may have been totally WTF but it had energy, while Stevi's performance had none.

Andrea, Fleur, and some of Lauren's performances aside, this series has been a real climb down, even from last year. Like Rough Copy sounded like The Four Tops crossed with The Commodores crossed with Public Enemy by comparison.

Like I actually feel a weirdly sepia toned nostalgia for Gary Barlow bellowing "That was an arsey anthem!".

Double elimination this week, because no-one's fucked up enough to get kicked off the show already like Frankie Cokehoser.

They've Wangerised Stevi.

The thing is that Wanger could actually sing when Louis would let him.

You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter. And feathers.

it's all fallen apart

Goodbye Stevi, probably at the right time. I enjoyed him, in a sense. The twuntishness comments upthread are fair, of course, and he didn't make even this series' low bar for competence but there's a bit of pathos in many twunts, and it seemed the greater part of him – the bloodhoundy look, genuinely slightly flustered by being near dancers, the passion for dismal songs from musical theatre. He seemed a good-hearted and disappointed sort (though I haven't followed the press); and I like there being at least one empty vessel for full-on Friedman spectacles hanging around. The Bohemian Rhapsody was a highlight; Saturday's I'm Still standing was a good way to go. Producing hosts for ITV2 is another of the jobs of this 'singing competition', and he'll do. I just hope he doesn't really think Simon is his friend.

I came to like Only The Young in the last three weeks (totally solid Monster Mash) and was sorry to see them go. Judges otm, they did have energy!

Really no-one I love or loathe left.

Andrea's diminishing returns continue to diminish. Technically the best? But it's mannered, and marred by the quieter sections, where I hear some syllables, but none of it is really recognisable as words.

Haenow's(*) fine – seems like a nice guy, can't stand his voice. I think Simon's plan for him is 'an English Adam Levine', which sounds nightmarish, but good luck to him anyway.

Stereo Kicks. This might actually be starting to work (after however many weeks of one judge or another telling us that this was starting to work/they were starting to gel). If they don't actively fuck up I think they can make the final. Still feel vaguely threatened by the sheer number of them (especially when leaping around, punching, hugging after going through), but it added something to their Mack the Knife.

Lauren. Totally solid singer but as I say upthread there's something a bit unsettling about her personality. Hasn't knocked me out in a while and I think Happy/Teardrop in… Week 1?… might be her best moment.

Fleur. Now my favourite, sort of by default. I get mildly irritated with the judges treating her as the second coming of beyonce, but she is a solid all-rounder. Seems decent as well, so I hope she wins – I think her or Ben would prob make the most of it, ie figure out how to exist with the machine.

*Apparently, he's a van driver from Croydon.

xpost

lol yeah I should also add that this has been a desperately grim and dull series and they should shoot it the head asap.

Haenow's(*) fine – seems like a nice guy, can't stand his voice. I think Simon's plan for him is 'an English Adam Levine', which sounds nightmarish, but good luck to him anyway.

If they don't play the chorus of Don't Dream It's Over when he goes then someone's missed a trick.

Their uptempo version of "Something about the way you look tonight" reminded me and Alice of:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azU6bqM26zg

Ben missed a trick on Big Band Night:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRhYBTzPOcc

I came to like Only The Young in the last three weeks (totally solid Monster Mash) and was sorry to see them go.

I didn't like their version of 'Monster Mash' much, but they seemed to be getting some traction in the last couple of weeks. A bit ridiculous that they didn't get to face off in a sing off against Stevi, because then they'd surely still be here next Saturday. I put it down to there being no Cokehoser types this year.

Stevi - The singing car salesman. He lasted a long time, but that's more to do with what a weak year it's been. It's not like he even got through week after week at the expense of better singers.

Andrea - diminishing returns is exactly it. Maybe having him in the sing off against Stevi will force him to change things up/around a bit next week.

Ben - his tune-free mangling of 'I Will Always Love You' brought to mind Danyl, although his trashing of Whitney was caused by his arrogance. I don't understand who's voting for him?

Lauren - the emblandening at the hands of Cheryl continues. Lauren's almost as boring a singer as her mentor now.

Stereo Dicks - Big Band week was their high point, especially since I thought that they'd make a mess of 'Mack the Knife' but managed to salvage something from it. Despite what this week's VT would have us believe, it's too late to try and graft personalities onto them at this stage. I still think half of them could disappear and no-one would notice.

Fleur - unless Andrea really pulls something out of the bag next week, Fleur's got this contest sewn up. She's got a good voice, and has the versatility to tackle a wider range of material compared to Andrea.

Final three: Andrea, Fleur, and either Lauren or dicks(o_O)dicks. The boys might make for a more interesting final, in terms of entertainment if not musicality.

I'm still seeing Ben in the final. Wouldn't be surprised if he actually wins the whole thing really.

Might as well give my thoughts on who we have left.

Ben - I've never been a fan as that whole authentic rock voice has always grated on me. Interesting the comparison to Danyl when vocally he's much more similar to Jamie Afro. The look he has on his face when he's getting negative feedback is really starting to get to me. It's a smirk that makes him look like he's not taking them seriously (In some cases he shouldn't but still..) Every time it comes to his interview on Xtra Factor they always sing a bit of Don't Dream It's Over straight after. Would be a good idea for him to sing it on the show.

Andrea - I haven't seen the producers out to get someone this much since Christopher Maloney. They've tried killing him with kindness, painting him gold, having rays shoot of his eyes and worst of all his offensive VTs that are full of him being treated like a total novelty (They had fucking Shaddap Your Face in his VT this week!)I've seen people comment on the fact they always show him stuffing his face with food each week which seems kind of unflattering. His song choices are predictable and making him seem like a one tricky pony. I wouldn't be surprised if he topped the vote those first few weeks by a long way and since then they've been doing a lot to get rid of him.

Lauren - Dark Horse should have been a big moment for her but since then she's basically turned into Lola as a performer. Lots of wobbly vocals and absolutely no stage presence. She doesn't even have the tears or the fish to make her slightly memorable like Lola did. Totally agree that she peaked with Happy/Teardrop in week one.

Stereo Kicks - Guess I'm on my own thinking they are the worst things about the show. Still miming the choruses each week and instead of just letting two of them sing maybe four/five of them get lead vocals to which the judges say "We got to hear you all individually" No we didn't. The main singer pulls the most unflattering face when he goes for the big notes. Simon has been spouting the same shit since week one "I really feel you're starting to become a real band" "We're getting to know you all now" It's bullshit. He's pushing them as hard as he did with Danyl back in 2009. I'm just hopeful they'll go the same way as he did. The smile Simon does when he gives them a standing ovation (Every fucking week) fills me with rage. He's clearly thinking "I made this happen" and clearly thinks they will be the new One Direction. Don't let me down general public.

Fleur - She is my favourite by a long way but honestly if she'd been in the 2008 or 2010 years (My two favourite series) she wouldn't have stood out at all. She's yet to have her big moment since the judges houses. Lots of solid performances but no sign of her proving she's an amazing singer or anything really special as a performer (Alexandra and Cher are my two favourite contestants ever) I would be happy if she won but I'm not sure I can see it happening yet despite Simon making it clear she's the chosen one. Think she does have a similar feel as Alexandra and Little Mix as a contestant, not in a similar style but in the way there was no hype for her at the beginning and she's kind of gone ahead of everyone else without it being really obvious. If she can just do a Don't Let Go or a Candyman this week that would be great.

I'm absolutely amazed this series has been just as bad as last years. I really thought they'd get it right this year.

One of the highlights for me (which probably won't happen anymore) is when Simon has given his "You're shit, go away" final statement during the performance prior to an act going out, then they play their highlights and there's Simon going "You're wonderful, you might win", Mr Fickle, right?

Oh, having not watched the series I didn't realise Ben/Don't Dream It's Over was already a joke. Soz.

I'm not exactly proud that I know that. Watching X Factor is one thing but watching Xtra Factor is clearly a cry for help. Judging by his reaction when they sing it he has obviously had to put up with it a lot through his life.

Well this was slightly more interesting than last week, but not by much, and even then that's not really praise. Fleur would be my pick to win now, although clearly Andrea is going to walk it. She'll still get the full backing of Syco anyway, judging by her pre-performance clips. Laurel's voice sounded a bit croaky during the first song, but I would prefer her to be in the final three instead of Ben and his reprise of the super manipulative VTs.

Fleur was excellent tonight. I think she might win it now and obviously is the one who will have a career rather than just an album of covers. Andrea was in the bottom two a couple of weeks ago so I'm not sure he'll win it although I think it's likely. Lauren will be out tomorrow. I can't see that there's any market for a teen singer that can't/won't dance or even perform in any real sense. She moves around like a decrepit.

I think there's more of a market for a teenage singer that young teenage girls can relate to than there is for a guy who puts ill-fitting RAWK stylings on everything. The last XF contestant who did that was Jamie Poodlehair and he only came seventh - more proof that this show has been getting increasingly diminishing returns.

I agree on all points.

I take it tomorrow is not a bottom two/ sing off?

Fleur doing Uptown Funk was probably my favourite performance on the show since Ella doing Believe. Sadly I still think Ben is going to take this.

conclusive proof that "Wrecking Ball" is 10x the song "Hallelujah" is anyway

The staging for Andrea's 'Wrecking Ball' was the best bit of set design since the 'Big Brother is watching you' backdrop behind one of Chris Baloney's performances in 2012.

"TWO LIVES LEFT...."

Ben through?
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120829003851/theonefootinthegrave/images/c/cc/IDNBI.jpg

Shit is on.

And by 'shit', I mean 'a shit load of filler'.

have a feeling Andrea will go tonight :(

if Haenow tells us how normal he is once more i'm putting the TV thru

I liked the sign the guy in the crowd was holding that read 'Ben Haenow to win' that looked like the letters had been sculpted out of faeces.

Fuck-awful Christmas jumper ahoy.
I can see that Andrea's going to have a TV career like Jeremy from Airport.

He does knock it out of the park though. Ben might as well go home now.

Louis says "you're a star" to just about everyone, but with Fleur it's really justified.

Pairing Ben with Ed Sheeran for the duet was a bad idea, because Ben just sounds like a crap Ed Sheeran by comparison now.

guessed it wd be Haenow and Sheeran, reckon Andrea will get Sam Smith, can't remember who the other guest is?

Fleur's singing with Labrinth.

Ella Henderson = i feel cheated

Fleur's duet with Labrinth didn't quite mesh. I wonder how much time the contestants get to actually rehearse with the their duet partners?

fuck you GBP

http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120829003851/theonefootinthegrave/images/c/cc/IDNBI.jpg

Fucks sake, have the GBP got cloth ears?

nah i knew it was coming, cloth-eared vanilla ordinary bloke sob-story bullshit bullshit wanker voters

ach well at least Fleur will deservedly crush him tomorrow

If for some reason she doesn't, Simon's money is on her anyway. Ben's heading for Brookstein-esque obscurity and he hasn't even criticised anything Cowell's done.

Also I won't sleep tonight knowing that even now there are people writing slashfic involving Stevi, that rocket, and Chico...

Still have a horrible feeling Ben is going to win this.

Two hours of padding... GO!

xp FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

if ben wins i'm never watching again

This last couple of hours it's just become more and more obvious he was going to win. Good luck trying to make this guy anymore successful than Matt Cardle.

At least Ben isn't an egotistical twit like Cardle. That's one thing in his favour, like Leona, the XF process didn't really change him much as a person.

Voting figures are out. Ben was winning it from week four onwards.

One thing that bugs me more than anything on x-factor is when they sing songs that they have not understood.

I don't know if Fleur fell into that trap, and am sure it made no difference anyway, but when she added the "I want to live with you.. And you and you and you", umm this is not a song about universal love its about living with one person.

Anyway, better Ben gets the "Winners song" that fits him, now Fleur can skip it and do stuff that actually suits her. You know Alexandra Burke never much liked "Hallelujah" and dropped it Snapfish?

The winners song really seemed like it was picked for him and definitely not her. I always think the most misguided winners song was Little Mix getting Cannonball. Such an awful choice for them.

That was disappointing.

Increasingly clear watching Sunday's show what was going to happen - winner's single chosen for Ben, & I think Fleur was a bit hamstrung by having to repeat uptown funk - it was only a week ago, the surprise factor has gone, but what else could she do?

But yeah, the voting figures say a lot - clearly the producers knew what was coming and that Fleur was just *not* going to win - but then she didn't need to. There's not much in 1st and 2nd place if Syco are on your side, and the signs seem good for her. I hope she has a great career. And while I never want to hear Haenow singing again, I hope he enjoys a respectable living in entertainment after this, since he seems a decent person.

Well, Fleur's first performance of it got a big reaction, it seemed a good idea to do it again as a few people might have been prompted to see it for that reason.

The "Winners Song" always seems to be a dead albatross anyway, a song that would have suited Fleur definitely would not have worked for Ben, and they seem to have a stockpile of 'that sort of song' signed to the 'right' publisher.