We're done LOOKING, it's time for Larry Kramer's Lincoln to give GAY bedSPRINGs quite a beating in 2015

NY opening up the Eagle Scouts:

http://www.towleroad.com/2015/04/boy-scouts.html

What's the furthest you made it if you were in the BSA? Webelos for me, which made for all kinds of fun puns at age 10.

o god, i made it a week. and forget baseball camp.

I could never join an organization without urges like mine.

I think I made it to Webelos too.

I could tie knots in every cherry stem with my tongue.

it's pronounced "huevos," right?

you could really do the cherry thing?? i always found that amazing

Our den mother's large, mentally challenged son used to strike us randomly at meetings.

Still can.

Years of saxophone.

I played clarinet. I was infamous for using the same reed for months.

today's pinup: adorable Mets pitcher Jacob deGrom holding his promotional gnome statue.

https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/degrom.jpg

cello for me

the barber shop for that hair for me

i also played clarinet and that's gross alfred

i was in scouts until i was 11 i think - i participated in the pinewood derby. didn't love it, didn't hate it

pinewood derby for me too!

his hair is awesome. he's from Florida.

He has the face of Tebow and the hair of Scott Stapp.

When you put it like that, I'd almost rather Ellen's treadmill piece of trade.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWu9o5zrj3g

pissov xp

let me be the one to honor our longstanding tradition and say:

good lord this thread title is atrocious

http://www.out.com/sites/out.com/files/9XN8Jlm.gif

i performed last night for the first time in years

it required a significant amount of vodka to get me on stage

Oh that kind of performing. The stage is the one place where I don't need vodka.

Lol. really? impressive. it will be easier tonight.

oh, on stage you mean

u guys! jeez i forgot we all have such dirty minds

http://media.giphy.com/media/V7xhb60efJgkw/giphy.gif

omg yes.

The episode this thread title should've taken from:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-epRekYYzoQ

just watched it!!

Decent episode, Lloyd Bochner will always be Patrick Vaughn to me.

i'll be over here renting Rock Hudson's Home Movies

xpost

"Decent episode, BUT..."

xxp lol i know. Patrick Vaughn -- he is my all-time favorite TV actor!!

"Why don't we all go to Emilio's?"

lolol

i was just telling La Lechera on the foofy boots thread that i now proudly own a Dorothy inspired sweater

Thank you for being a friend!

yr welcome!

http://www.queerty.com/were-this-close-to-an-official-lego-golden-girls-20150406

when i made the connection the other day that Marc Cherry was behind 2 of my favorite shows of all time (GG and Desperate Housewives), it literally blew my mind.

Cherry only joined GG midstream I thought.

he just has a lot of credits for it. he did not create it, i don't believe. but he was heavily involved and credited. i watched an interview with him the other day where he was saying that at one point he wanted to do a 10-year time lapse for the plot of Desperate Housewives, and joked that "it's all about going back to The Golden Girls for me."

<3

i just burned hot cross buns

actually think my tastebuds think burnt toast is just how it tastes at this point, can't recall the last time i made toast that wasn't either charcoal or just hot bread

lol toast is my favorite thing

probably bc it's the one thing i can cook! and like every other month, eggs

i just got a toaster for the office! life changed

i live for toasted white bread with salted butter

fuck yea

i sometimes have buttered bread slices (no toast) w/ a bit of kosher salt as a snack

i used to have butter sandwiches as a kid

same!

what do you think would make a better sandwich:

a piece of toast between two slices of bread

OR

a slice of bread between two pieces of toast

bread is a motherlode of middle-aged weight, along with cheese, so i do toast rarely given the 3-4 pizza slices i must have weekly (plus brown-bag sandwiches).

never have butter in da house

xp this is a real question i asked myself as i made toast last night

what do you think would make a better sandwich:

a piece of toast between two slices of bread

OR

a slice of bread between two pieces of toast

― gwyneth anger (patron sailor)

Jake G between two pieces of toast and Muenster.

Have basically banished bread from my diet, but am still eating tons of cheese.

Saw someone making pancakes out of eggs, mashed banana and protein powder on FB and thought, hmmm.

bananas are the food of mammon, they are an abomination

Yeah, I thought they were a dieters' wipeout too, myself.

i have one daily, p much

sickly sweet, leaves yr mouth acidic and gross feeling, make everything else around them smell like shit when they go bad, also basically cannot be had without more/less slave labor

fuck bananas forever

cucumbers otoh

...taste like water, wtf are they for except to become pickles?

cucumbers rule

i couldn't live w/o cuke + hummus sammiches tho

it's a great name for a vegetable

well, if ya call that livin'!

Cucumbers, bananas, tofu ... and the summer thread title emerges.

i think 'Dan Savage' is a great name for a vegetable

i tried making crispy tofu last week but it didn't turn out that great

i like cucumbers in the context of spicy dishes, where they take the edge off

i like cucumber with feta and with hummus

also i make a summer salad with cukes, watermelon, blueberries, & mint

not a fan of cukes in garden salads tho, and i prefer most other pickled vegetables over cuke pickles

bananas are a staple of my diet tho, i love me some starchy phallic fruits

What would the St German gin and tonic be w/out cucumbers?

*germain

germane

oh, i mixed up 'germane' with 'mundane'. yet another gay wit fail.

yet another possible thread title

btw what do we think of Clint's son Scott Eastwood, about to star in a Nicholas Sparks adaptation.

https://41.media.tumblr.com/208cea4fd268b173971558ff56382d51/tumblr_nikrg2inVJ1tn1ucto1_500.jpg

Lovely but no more lovely than tens of men I see in the street daily (from that photo, at least)

which is what i like about him. would not kick out of bed.

dude from the other day looked like he'd fit in on a varsity wrestling team - little 5'6" stocky muscle pup. from his scruff pic i was afraid he wouldn't like making out but was happily proved wrong.

Clint Eastwood was a sexy young fella.

he was a stunner.

i need a new fling for spring

winter started out with the guy who liked to suck me off, then there was the adorable Brazilian, and now the friend with benefits twink. what's next?

Scott Eastwood with his foot in your face

would take it

yes he must be trolling w/ those bare feet

i do not have a "fetish" per se but it's nice to see a part of a person that is normally hidden from view?

no fetish here either but i love a guy barefoot

foot fetishes probably baffle more than (almost) any other fetish

i'm looking at my horrible runner's feet are i barely want to touch them myself

*and

surm, could i trade my medical student for yr adorable Brazilian?

i can ask

he was all "YOUR EYES ARE LIKE THE SEA"

i was like ok you really are from Brazil

lol

mine is Bengali, drinks and smokes w33d, a bad Muslim

the best kind

speaking as a bad buddhist

mine is Bengali, drinks and smokes w33d, a bad Muslim

― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius),

no no no no he only wants to impress you

He drinks weed?

this is the guy who told me "you drink like a pussy," so you must be right

smoke scotch whiskey / all night long

clouds, what's the point of all that hummus then?

smoke scotch whiskey / all night long

― vyvyan vanse (clouds), Friday, April 10, 2015 4:12 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this was like my entire winter. and headphones.

son of clint has cute feet

i had a guy at the eagle call me a pussy for declining a hit of his weed when he offered, then told me to "lighten up, it was a joke!" when i bristled. he also referred to himself as "kind of a misogynist" and gleefully recounted the multiple times he's preyed on homeless men for sex. great guy!

god i feel like i met lots of guys like that at the eagle.

also enjoy seeing bare feet in photos though it's not really a fetish. samuel delaney sure has a thing for hands doesn't he.

http://www.thefashionisto.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/scott-eastwood-more-0001.jpg

But when it comes to what he's looking for to make things work in the long term, it's all about "trust, similar passions … and the sex has to be great," he says candidly. "If any one of these things is off, it just might not work."

sweet

exhausted from work; got a bottle of garnacha, fried catfish, hush puppies 'n fries, og kush in the launchbox, space dimension controller in the headphones.

y'all come hang

love to

i'm definitely getting a bottle of something tonight

last night at 10:30p i started getting pretty to go out to the gay bar. and i was like Ry you're gonna be ok without me? (i was just gonna go out for a bit) - and he was like well i'll be fine, but i'll be a little bit lonely. i was like! it was kind of cute. usually he enjoys his time alone. but he was watching Mad Men (and boy was Megan hot in it, btw). so i watched with him. but i didn't have any hard liquor in the house and watching Don Draper on TV without bourbon is like some wack shit.

fried catfish, hush puppies 'n fries

btw this was essentially my life when i lived in Nashville

I'm watching Mad Men tonight with my whiskey friend.

:)

And then maybe Silicon Valley with my shroom friend.

I'd like a shroom friend.

oooooh! LIVIN IT UP xp

might have a connection for molly, but dude is kinda flakey so idk

i have only watched MM on prescribed shit

What should I take before watching The Jinx?

smoke some whiskey

what the fuck is this "i'd bottom for hillary" thing

Hillary is a top who won't negotiate.

unless it's over pretending to care

my formulation is "I'll be fucked by Hillary if you shits vote for her"

what the fuck is this "i'd bottom for hillary" thing

― lex pretend, Tuesday, April 14, 2015 6:34 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's abt gay ppl making everything about them, all of the time, human rights = gay rights, Beyoncé doesn't care abt gay ppl

who cares who cares who cares who cares

gay dudes, apparently

i care about my neck

i slept on the couch. AGAIN. it's like i just can't make it to the bed sometimes.

trying to decide when to get laid next. my book is kind of full but maybe i could go to Metro after the straight birthday party thing that i have to go to on Friday night? too ambitious?

I'm owed a BJ right now.

better collect

IOU1BJ would make a cute license plate

i wish i had a car.

I drive an obscenely red Volvo S40.

fuck that's hot

It's a stick.

damn

will you give me a ride next time i'm in MN? (don't get dirty)

I did last time, didn't I?

Great to see rev in Seattle last night!

snap!

smoked some whiskey and drank some weed w/ a fanged/pointed eared (not body mods) furry babe with a samurai topknot who calls me "bub" all the time like he's wolverine from x-men. i'm smitten like.

Didn't realize the Prancing Elites had a show on Oprah's channel now.

http://www.etonline.com/news/163098_the_prancing_elites_project_exclusive_first_look/

i was at a meeting with the president of the brooklyn academy of music today. she (a woman of a certain age - with a boyfriend) has a crush on a visual artist named Dustin Yellin. our press rep was in the meeting - he says, Karen, isn't he a little furry for you? she was like waht? he was like yea he's kind of like, hairy. she goes, i don't know, i just like him. he sends me emails about the sunset.

the end.

actual dueling screenings at MoMA tonight:

Bruce Labruce's horned-cock L.A. Zombie with special-effects woundfucking galore

VS

Queen Latifah's Bessie Smith HBO biopic

those sound horrid

EWWWW! Biopics.

scruff dude: so what gets you hot and hard?
me: dicks?

a bag of 'em

L.A> Zombie is a useful deconstruction of my two least fave genres, horror and porn.

I'm still right swiping the hell out of NY scruff'ers b/c of my recent trip.

NYC scruffers make me nervous bcz it feels like there's so many of them that everyone's super competitive and I get so easily defeated, like "oh why bother even messaging anyone at all when they can pick from all these other people with fuller beards and more body hair"

I know it's called scruff, but I'm sure not everyone wants tons of body hair.

xps I think it's funny that Bruce LaBruce has TWO different queer zombie films, one of which has been highly recommended to me by a close and dear friend ("Otto") but both of which I want to see. They were released back to back, too!

I remember when he put ads in BUTT for it but they didn't have a title yet and it was just advertising for Bruce LaBruce's UNTITLED GAY ZOMBIE PROJECT or something like that.

Eric, yr totally right, too. idk, I think I just get too much in my own head and I have learned how to feel and be confident in every single type of social space except ones where hotness is a crucial factor in how and with whom you interact.

i've considered making my entire profile text the lyrics to "invisible touch" but i guess my current profile is trolly enough?

My profile is set to "Throwing It All Away"

of course it is!

i've made confidence extraneous to my life.

The drag queen splitting the bill with me last night at trivia was sure quick with the compliments.

Even typing that made me sad.

is this the bruce labruce zombie movie the one with francois sagat? he of the tattooed hairstyle and legendary butt?

yes. (He was nobody to me)

what are our thoughts on being shirtless around coworkers

my coworkers aren't worth it

my boss, a VP, just invited Ryan and I up to his 15-bedroom mansion in NH with 2 other gay couples from work for a weekend in June. he kayaks.

Oh. That kind of job. Take cash.

and a tan.

and a haircut

and like a 4 week juice cleanse with fresh, healthy foods and just the right amount of junk so i have that certain "glow" that one is supposed to have by a lake

I have shown a few people at work a very closely cropped photo of my latest tat work, which would otherwise require doffing the shirt.

Kayaking shirtless requires being in the sun, right? Pass.

I'm having a Facebook argument with our Kevin Bozelka re Cyndi Lauper's "When You Were Mine" vs Prince's. He says you can't dance to Lauper's.

i was just talking about dancing

i like prince. but now i want to hear "you should be mine" by janet. isn't that what it's called?

o you CAN be mine

prince's version is all new wavey, it doesn't have the funk. i think it's kind of a lame song honestly.

it's like todd rundgren doing "hello it's me". he could do those kinds of songs in his sleep.

also fuck outdoor status symbol sports. ugh.

golf? polo?

hunting humans w/ bow and arrow

I thought I was the only person who thought "When You Were Mine" is sub-subpar.

I am all about "Private Joy" tho.

And, uncharacteristically enough, "Sexuality."

private joy is the best track on controversy; sexuality is great because all the social commentary stuff is otm. i'm over him now though, don't really give a shit if he releases another record or not bc he hasn't done anything worth hearing in over 20 years.

matt i was referring to kayaking

just so many scruff ppl's list of interests are "volleyball, kayaking, hiking, mountain climbing" oh yeah the mountains of chicago are beautiful ya great hiking spots for sure

they all translate to me "i have a job where i can afford to do these things, look at me" and so instant nope nope nope dnw

skiing, snowboarding also kind of a dullard guarantee here. "i am from california and my parents retired in park city"

i have no reason to mistrust self-described hikers but you can literally walk from downtown to the top of a mountain in a day here so

A whole group of people I wouldn't mind taking me into their friend-fold apparently collectively looked at my scruff profile tonight. Public joy.

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8866/17131781797_673fb6d526.jpg

Too slutty for Scruff?

Already looking

forward to deleting that pic ... Tomorrow.

lolol you're going to be getting messages out the ass w that pic

I am all about "Private Joy" tho.

― Eric H., Saturday, May 2, 201

Me too. And then some.

Nobody's done anything worth hearing in over 20 years. (upon arriving in NYC on the Controversy tour, Prince went to the bus terminal men's room for recreational fun.)

goddaaamn, Eric.

wait are we judging strangers for their outdoor recreational activities now?

"this guy who says he likes to take walks in the woods sure sounds like an asshole"

i mean what

I haven't contributed to this discussion at all yet, but I don't judge anyone for liking kayaking or whatever--its just that my reaction when reading about the invite extended to sum by his boss was "ok, this has nothing to do with my life."

Not saying the trip wouldn't be pleasant (although I personally hate the sun), nor that I have anything against going shirtless around co-workers/other, richer, and, I'm assuming fitter, gay men (just let me get back into a gym routine first, please), but as clouds suggested, this is so far from resembling how my current economic status allows me to live that it is practically alien to me.

yeah, it's outside of my experiences too, which is why -- to me -- it sounds like a fine opportunity to try something new. as long as someone else is footing the bill, i mean.

idk maybe declaring your outdoor activities has a different quality when you live in an large urban center but i can assure you that less affluent people can kayak, too

Oh, absolutely take the opportunity if it sounds in any way appealing to you, and especially if someone else is footing the bill.

p.s. i prefer bette bright's version the best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV6FkxTyk7Y

wow i didn't know my boss would create controversy. i don't like kayaking or most outdoor sports, but not because they are for the rich, just because i don't like them. i love tennis though.

and for the record, he is an awesome guy. even though i can barely afford to do my laundry, the fact that he has [a lot of] money doesn't detract from that.

ok fine i like rich guys. THERE. i said it. I LIKE RICH MEN. as long as they're not assholes.

Ry wants to bring pot caramels. I'm like you do what you need to do but I am NOT going to be stoned around my VP. i'll just get awkward as fuck and most likely never live it down.

obviously dosage matters but i find that edibles take the edge off my anxiety in unfamiliar situations much better than smoking, which can sometimes make me paranoid or self conscious. feed me an adult confection, though, and i'm all good

which reminds me that i need to do some baking. all the lavender almond cookies are gone but they were divine while they lasted

YUM

i just got some new hair product. i haven't had time to buy shampoo in weeks. i am excited to wash my hair. my life as you can tell is one long thrilling ride.

Nobody's done anything worth hearing in over 20 years.

is that why you don't watch movie?

*movies

no, it's why i don't listen to the music 12-year-old girls like.

My co-workers and I, like, don't even say "bye" when we leave the office.

wait are we judging strangers for their outdoor recreational activities now?

― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Saturday, May 2, 2015 9:58 AM (12 hours ago)

there's nothing inherently wrong w/ outdoor shit, i mean i bike every fucking day! it's my main mode of transportation! it's just that i see the same "kayaking, hiking, volleyball, rugby" bullshit over and over and it's like, read a fucking book once in yr life?

sorry i just don't understand when faggots became so normcore.

wow. ok.

i went to a may day rally today. it felt good to be around some lefty energy. i'm such a softie with the chants, i start to choke up, especially with the police / baltimore ones. the trans liberation movement speaker was totally inspiring.

It's hard to click on profiles that don't just thrust disco tits right out there front and center; many of those profiles are pretty hilariously preoccupied with intramurals, no doubt.

Hard NOT to click, I mean. (What's the opposite of a Freudian slip?)

oh i'm sure it's hard, at least

so life has gotten in the way of my sex life lately and i'm over it

now i just have to get over this cold

kayaking is kind of how i feel about people who listen to Wilco if that makes any sense

but actually i think you're getting the definition of normcore wrong. kayaking is not really that normal.

i doubt it

at least insofar as fashion is concerned, normcore has nothing to do with waspy guys playing golf. it's about the guy in IT who wears pleated pants.

i don't think he cares about what 'normcore' is beyond it sounding vaguely like an insult

i think normative is more the aim of the comment

the thing is, i've always had a thing for lawyers. i'm ok with normal. i'm also ok with completely fucking abnormal. which is why i'm going to my friend's birthday party today who likes me to slap her.

oooooooh

elmo: that is the opposite of correct. it's a political stance for me.

it's funny that i get called a snob when what i'm irritated by is actual snobbery.

anyway today i danced w/ my customers at the farmers market to "(not just) knee deep" and worked for 16 hours. i'm exhausted. life is wonderful. namaste.

lmao

mm. time to leave gaythread i think.

A lot of people don't realize now that it was beefs that fueled these threads back when they were 1,000-post Chicago-thread affairs.

Hard NOT to click, I mean. (What's the opposite of a Freudian slip?)

― Eric H.

a Jungian dip

Who are you calling a dip?

I do like to think of myself as Norse Jung, tho.

that's the thing, there's no "beef". i'm just tired of the idea that nothing is supposed to be criticized and personal attacks are read into everything that even touches on their interests. it's not personal at all. but millennials aren't supposed to care about shit, right? feel free to reply to this with whatever ilx-bred mannered gnomic/nonchalant repartee you wish.

you are too much, dude

no, it's why i don't listen to the music 12-year-old girls like.

THAT'S why you're always down in the dumps

you're not making any cogent criticisms here, you're just passing judgement on people based on trivial shit & it's incredibly off-putting.

enjoying volleyball means you need to "read a fucking book once in your life"

give me a break, my dude

not a chance. i have to follow my heart no matter what.

you think it's trivial, but it's actually part of a larger and very disconcerting phenomenon.

It's at least moderately justifiable in that reading is done in solitary whereas kayaking is something a prospective mate might want to do with his sex partner, or something. I dunno. Maybe people actually read the same book together side-by-side. I'm not familiar with everyone's disgusting habits.

i dunno, i just don't see anything new or particularly distressing about gay men being highly engaged in physical culture. it doesn't automatically make them idiots, in my experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoNXsne8exg

That song always transports me to dusk, July 4, 1993, waiting for fireworks.

I know, odd song to trip nostalgic over, given the movie's subject matter.

Love that song despite generic production, like this thread.

frankly i do not remember that song; couldn't find an isolated clip of "brothers and sisters, why ah we fighting?" from Gimme Shelter

I wonder if Tina Turner kayaked. Her muscle tone says she did.

clouds is all good with me in terms of the need for political analysis and change. but the thing is this is a personal group of people, and comments are personal even if they're larger. so when someone says something like my awesome boss is taking me kayaking and the response is something along the lines who gives a fuck about people who kayak it is a little weird, IMO. but i could really care less either way. i'm going to have a good time kayaking even if i fall over the boat.

i will say tho that you should not leave the thread clouds! we need different perspectives. we should all just try and be nice to each other! cuz like, that's what ILX is for

The older I get, the less I care about what my imaginary boyfriend is reading.

does that extend to John Waters' advice "If they don't have books, don't fuck em?"

I finished reading the definitive 450-page Peter Lorre bio last week... it took me six months.

i read a fair amount but that largely comes at the expense of any kind of physical activity, so

i just finished maggie nelson's new book 'the argonauts' which is a sort of memoir/long essay that talks about queerness and family and childbirth and which i very much recommend

my current reading is on the psychoanalysis of children who have narcissistic parents, which is excruciatingly relevant to my life tbh

oh and "seeing through clothes" by anne hollander, which has lengthy passages on stuff like pubes & butts throughout art history.

Reading the monograph on Paris is Burning.

While lifting.

Hot. i was talking to someone about how i didn't read, so he pulled out his book. it was philosophy, and it was really good. the guy who did the preface is my cousin's wife's sister's husband. do they hve a word for that? they were WOWED that i knew him

Thinking of getting a couple tank tops for my forthcoming Palm Springs weekend but I've, um, never really bought tank tops before. Any recommendations? Should they be floppy?

As tight as Al Green's rhythm section.

I'm off today, taking the train downtown to eat croque monsieurs with a friend. I'll listen to the new Ciara.

Was under the impression skinny guys are supposed to keep their tanks a little bit on the loose side.

i LOVE an XL tank, but i have some smalls as well

but XL is definitely like, the look to beat

May have to invite a panel with me to the dressing rooms.

just make sure you can get your shoulders through it, honeybunch.

take snapshots i will be on deck

I'll totally snapchat my tank spree.

pls do i have snapchat but no idea how to work it, so i might need a tutorial from someone

or like u can just have my cell # lol, i'm p confident you won't stalk me and kill me at this point. and i love advising on clothes!!!

Someone on scruff just misinterpreted my La Jetee work as a tribute to bondage. Eep.

What's your name on Snapchat, ramz? I'm ephenderson.

snapchat! i'm patron_sailor

mnan0p0ul0s76

replace the 0's with o's

forgot my PW will let u know!!

palm springs!! where you headed?

A house in Joshua Tree with 11 other people. Should be totally lowkey, no drama. (Just kidding. This is a very oddball assortment of characters.)

ahhh i love joshua tree - don't miss the integratron! or the crochet museum!

(i don't know much about palm springs itself other than the ace hotel)

http://integratron.com/ (i've done the sound bath twice)

Oh cool!

CROCHET MUSEUM?

http://www.sharielf.com/museum.html (i've insta'ed from there before)

i am "sourpatchkissed" on snapchat

eric i don't know how to use it but i will look out for bleeps or images from you lol

Just sent you one.

Not of tanks, mind. I have to lose this sunburn first.

i saw that you added me but what does that mean that you sent me one? i legit feel like i'm 83 years old

PS iiiiiiii bought an XL WOMEN's tee last night and thought of you. even the women's XL is like a baby doll top on me! but it has Ciara's face on it and i am going to wear it with a blazer.

Hah, I don't think I've ever bought a women's XL, but in college I occasionally bought a boys' XL.

You might have to add me back to see what I sent. (If so, click that plus next to my username.)

i did add you back!

oh i've definitely bought a boys XL

ok let me look around the app more

something weird happened when u added me and now you disappeared

how do i add you back?

you know, i can also get one of my girlfriends to sit me down and walk me thru this. no need for all the drama haha.

I see I'm under "pending" lol. I'm pretty new to Snapchat myself, tbh.

haha i DEFINITELY clicked the + sign next to your name but then it gave me some weird message that i couldn't really understand. i will figure it out with my trusty friends of the slightly younger age bracket :)

a 20 yr old from the local uni wants to hook up today but he wants to go all the way and i just don't know if i'm ready for that right now

what shd i do

just say no?

if you just don't know, it sounds like you shouldn't.

My med-student playmate is 'seeing someone' again. :/

just say no?

― surm, Monday, May 11, 2015 5:05 PM

this is what I call Blow 'n' Go.

xxp Direct him my way.

it's 75 degrees and i'm on stero1ds, i need to fall on someone dickfirst.

right. ok i think he's coming over

:-/

hmm now i'm not sure i'll have the place to myself long enough. 40 minutes isn't long enough is it?

it depends.

you are a card!

40 minutes isn't long enough is it?

in a bar this would be one drink + polite chatter so

ok now it's looking like his apartment which "has no furniture" yet

this should be interesting

be sure he bumps into your footrest.

we'll see ... i haven't ... been in this position in a while o_O

mainly keep it p basic

Keep it basic is like my middle name in bed. And my safe word.

totally. well that was interesting as promised. hardwood floors, literally only a saddle-back leather chair and an end table. we made use of the chair.

it was all pretty rough-n-tumble so we couldn't do all that he wanted to do, but we got some good kicks in. he was also one of those 20 yr old bean poles with cute glasses and a huge d, so that didn't hurt. unfortunately he had no towels of any kind - which was more unfortunate for him... also i have no idea what his name is.

feel free to cut me off at anytime if the TMI goes overboard.

Grab 'n' Gab!

it's very humid in my apartment, so i read that in my shorts.

haha

I have v interesting plans for this Saturday that I kind of want to share but am ultimately way too bashful abt discussing

that's a post very much out of character.

I'm eating corned beef hash next Saturday.

I'm seeing the Fame high school production of The Laramie Project on Saturday.

i'm celebrating my birthday. share Stevo.

Love all these Saturdays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSC-8mxfXKI

(year after i was born!xx)

:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFEfzxi3uBI

great day of the week

My climbing gym is hosting an LGBT climbing night this Saturday. (Spoiler: I'll be attending.)

wow !

It's going to be like that scene in Crystal Skull, only with lesbians instead of monkeys and Shia Lebeouf.

that's p exciting

i'm just getting drinks and eating hand cut french fries

I made two French 75s while watching Drag Race.

i caught the end! that's like my favorite drink

I made it with cognac instead of gin. Not sure which is the preferred route.

oh interesting! i've never had it with cognac. of course lately my drinks are quite simple; i'm a big fan of on the rocks. although it probably isn't a good idea to drink before you go mountain climbing.

Most I've ever done is top rope with a brunch buzz.

Still not recommended.

i don't know why but that sounds awfully suggestive Eric

sorry i didn't meant to take that to an awkward place

Hah, no it's a joke we all make. I sometimes raise my eyebrows when talking about "tying in."

Brunch buzzes confuse me. I don't like champagne and one should only drink one glass of OJ.

Bloody Marys and white wine I can handle.

here, i'll give you a musical clue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRH05Nq_JI0

and another

http://i.imgur.com/qAp4Au5.png

As of today, my boyfriend is taking a stress leave from his hospital job with no intention of returning. He's got his note from Dr. Summeroff and will probably be clocking a lot of beach time in the next few weeks. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous.

STEVEN D! NO!

Oh, left side? OK then.

You fisted The Boss?!?

xp Esp if you're listening to MAW the entire time.

Stevie is riding down down into the tunnel of love

Love how red is the only color I know what it means without looking it up.

p is he ok?

surm he's alright, he's just trying to exit as cleanly as possible from a hostile work environment which has been taxing on his physical & mental health. the stress is largely personnel related, sadly, but his doctor is very supportive. i hope he's able to make use of his downtime to focus on himself. it's hard to remember what having a non-stressed-out boyfriend is like.

Anyone else have any thoughts on this one?

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/history/2015/05/can_you_be_homosexual_without_being_gay_the_future_of_cruising_drag_and.html

Of course, anyone who's even eavesdropped on the long-running debate over 'gay identity' among homosexuals will know that this position—that gayness might be located in sensibility or style as well as sex—is currently anathema. We live in the era dominated by a born-this-way, 'it's-a-small-part-of-me' ethos that minimizes gay difference to sexual attraction.

xp good

just came to post that, Eric

tl;dr

why did you come to post the link if you didn't / won't read it?

Damn. I may have to actually print this thing to read it during lunch.

i started reading it yesterday and just before the historical methods section i thought i saw a space opening up between heritage-gay and normosexual but it didn't really seem to be going there so i stopped.

less jargon, please

I only know who tops and who bottoms

;ashgg;askl;asdfklj;ladkjsfauewhna

just to keep Soto busy during lunch, elmo

the only homo heritage i'm much invested in is my collection of old skin mags & downloaded vintage pornos

though i was looking a mag from i think the early 70s recently and was amused to see an ad for anal douche systems running alongside an article about collectible glass paperweights

ha

i think it's pretty funny that seemingly every heavy leather selfie i see on tumblr was taken in this room:

http://luxhomedecor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/blank-walls1.jpg

this was the ad, btw:

http://i.imgur.com/RR4WMZa.png

love it

why did you come to post the link if you didn't / won't read it?

Haha, that's exactly what I did when I posted it on my FB page.

"Keep it clean and avoid discomfort and embarrassment."

Also noted: an ad for a set of 3 dildos in increasing sizes that would allow the purchaser to "be an accommodating host."

I'd rather continue down this new tangent than the article, tbh, but it was the umpteenth version of the debate over whether the thing that defines you is who you sleep with or, as the article suggests, having interest in the percale of the sheets you sleep in.

Which has always drawn pretty clear lines of division in this thread.

has anyone ever participated in a guerrilla queer bar? i got invited to one last night. idk how i feel about the idea tbh but hell i'll prob still go

that image!

That queer bombing bar thing has really taken off, huh? Have always thought that among the advantages of being gay was the fact that you didn't have to go to douchey straight bars.

that douchebag has a 2 quart capacity and 6 year guarantee! that's a lot of douching

queerbombing a straight bar sounds kinda fun but also kinda .... i don't know .... well no it actually sounds p fun lol

ugh i still remember this one night at *BAM* aka the place where we host an LGBT party called EVERYBOOTY, after a cinema event, some guy comes up to me and looks at my black leather purse and goes ... "so it's so interesting, you know, that you're, you know..."

and i was like you're so interesting fuckwad

The bars are typically contacted beforehand.

i went to a queer bar takeover once but it was more "gay professional happy hour" than "rad queer occupation." i suppose it depends on who's drinking.

the invite actually says "it's not a protest, it's a party"

yes, exactly... i went to one of those 'WC' bombings with Stevie in Philly. so I signed up for the NYC one, and they're going to Yankee games and some thing where you can see Andrew Rannells. ie GTFO.

is that set up by the Welcoming Committee? The Twin Cities LGBT events community is trying their best to stave off an invasion.

yes.

my personal definition of gay in 2015 is "keep me the fuck away from Andrew Rannells"

There's room enough under the tent for that one.

conversely, i can say that you probably shouldn't bring your well-intentioned straight cis liberal white women friends to the eagle, no matter how fun it seems to them. inevitably one of them will ask the dj to play some donna summer and get upset when their request isn't acknowledged.

did i tell you guys about that guy on the street the other day who grabbed my ass? i've been losing track of stories which is why i ask

Did the Eagle stop playing Donna Summer? Boo.

actually not having to go to douchey straight bars is a thing after 30.

idk about your local eagle but the last time i went to mine a heard a trance rework of taylor swift, so

surm, did you slap him?

Midwest Eagles are more sparrows.

ummmmmm he GRABBED my ass and goes "are you gay"

and i was like "no comment"

and he goes "cuz i have a big dick you can suck right now and some bacardi in this water bottle"

and i was liiiiike, i hope you die

oh no wait i think i said i hope you die after he started calling me a pussy faggot when i turned him down

I'm trying to think of Miami straight bars that need occupying and whom I'd want to occupy with and think of 15 versions of me.

ew @ Bacardi in a water bottle. It must taste like spotted dick.

wow that sounds deeply unpleasant surm

obv i'd queer-crash a bar with any of yall any day

a str8 married couple i know asked me the other day if it's "ok" for them to go the eagle (the bar shows 'drag race' on monday nights and they're both big fans) - i told them they shouldn't worry about it, the one in LA is fairly liberal as far as that goes, except the husband's kind of bearish so don't rule out some kind of comedy of errors

xp ugh surm that's awful

everytime he yelled the word faggot i just said "no" - and the poor patrons of the restaurant! then he crossed the street drunk and almost died

anyway back to our regularly scheduled programming

yea i don't have a "no str8s in the gay bar" policy or anything but otoh it sucks to be treated like a gay tour guide as your str8 friends trade scandalized giggles at the porn playing on the tv's

Oh please, I still giggle at gay porn on the TVs.

i was walking to akbar once and i saw a guy standing stock-still in the bushes across the street - for some reason it took me a second to piece together that he was peeing (on, like, sunset blvd, very conspicuously - obv he was plastered). as i walked by him he yelled "don't look at me!" - then he waited a beat, and muttered "...unless you feel like suckin' it"

like.........my dude

woww

"thank you for the enticing offer, but i've already sucked my quota of dicks for the day"

The whole concept of 'crashing' bars w/ queers confuses me, as any of the few i still go to or would want to, don't have a homogeneous crowd, the New Wave night aside to some extent. (since i am banned from drinking 3 weeks out of 4 i have to pick my spots carefully.)

On my birthday i was at the indie-jukebox bar owned by my friend (gay) which serves a cross-section of Brooklyn (lotta teachers) and when there were about half a dozen past & present ILXors left, he wanted to know where "all the cute gay boys came from?" I told him sorry, only one aint straight. So that's who i drink with now, str8 boys who can pass.

aso you should be reading donna's bf's poetry, like i am!

keep meaning to order that book

the poet in question read at a straight bar here in front of tvs playing rugby. he said something along the lines of, what an appropriately homosocial sport for a backdrop, iirc.

So that's who i drink with now, str8 boys who can pass.

I can dig it.

in the context of all this dick talk i am finally getting your display name eric.

dick talk, ya don't stop

Depends on a very me mispronunciation of Jung, I'm afraid.

what an appropriately homosocial sport for a backdrop

lol he would say that. also <333

he comes back from s. america next week and thank heavens, i'm gettin' pretty lonely round the apt

aw. you're a lucky fella.

dick talk: i expect to be getting it more frequently now that my boyfriend's less stressed out

you guys in relationships, do you just straight up ask for it? at a moment's notice and all that? me and mine are both repressed as fuck tbh

it can be a subtle dance sometimes but i'm learning to be more direct about it

I'm going to need someone who will knock me upside the head.

And then call an ambulance after it's all over.

direct for the calendar appointment, let the magic happen in the moment

I'm going to need someone who will knock me upside the head.

Gloved?

what PS said, basically

let the beat hit'em, as Lisa Lisa said.

Got to learn to let go.

i really dislike scheduling sex, it makes it feel like a chore. but i have gotten better at making my needs known

People who aren't trying to get pregnant actually do that? Will wonders never cease.

disliking it v. denigrating people who do it

ime it's more about taking opportunities to be physically close so it can happen organically, rather than penciling it in

has anyone ever participated in a guerrilla queer bar? i got invited to one last night. idk how i feel about the idea tbh but hell i'll prob still go

― donna rouge, Wednesday, May 13, 2015 11:53 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I've gone to one or two, tbh I find the concept super dated and irrelevant but the one Morbs and I went to was novel enough in that there were lots of ppl I've never seen before, and we didn't have a chance to stay long enough to notice how awful the crowd might really be, but I tried to go again a few weeks ago and they wanted $5 to get in and we were just like fuuuuuuck you and went to a dive bar instead. I was p miffed about that, even moreso now that I know that despite the "guerrilla" in their name they contact bars head of time. Basically it's a stupid idea that has potential to be fun but usually isn't.

speaking of dated, have i talked about how i watched the entirety of the American Queer as Folk and fell in love with it again? i know, i know - it's unrealistic, stereotyped, frivolous, blah blah blah. but it's also heartfelt, comic book based, and incredibly well written. not to mention the actors.

before now i had only seen the 1st season in college. #1 crush of all time is Brian Kinney. #1 TV relationship of all time besides Zach and Kelly (duh) is Brian and Justin.

just exquisitely executed.

i really feel i must have talked about this before. please excuse me if so.

Never did watch that one. If I liked Looking, will I hate QAF?

Yes.

my boyfriend just texted me to say he made a grilled cheese using weed butter

the nerve! i swear

LOL

that's why relationships aren't for me. I like to know on which side my bread's buttered.

I like to know I get all the cheese.

i don't even refer to myself as gay anymore 1000 xps

i prefer to show and not tell iykwim

Ew no, I'm not some organ grinder monkey. I just like hanging signs around my neck.

Lol does anyone even refer to themselves as gay anymore? Don't you just not think abt it at all and then organically allude to it in conversation?

It was ever thus.

i prefer sodomite

i also use "gay -- SO FAR"

Once upon a dick.

Ok, twice.

The fuck is wrong with me.

!!!!!!

i mean was it fun at least?

I love that I'm the only one who still identifies as gay and yet I'm the only one who never has sex.

Actually wait. That makes sense somehow.

No it wasn't much fun.

last night i was at a fundraiser with another guy who grabbed my ass at a christmas party months ago in front of his (open?) boyfriend. i'm not opposed to the grabbing of the ass, but you better be hot.

what the hell are you doing to make ugly strangers grab your ass? Is your existence a provocation?

tbh this guy wasn't the pits but he certainly wasn't Brad Pitt either. i dunno! i think it's an epidemic going around Brooklyn.

tbh idk if anyone has ever grabbed my ass

tbh idk if anyone has ever grabbed my ass *in public*

actually that one's not true either nvm

Hosting trivia has ensured I've gotten a few pinches.

haha

well with your bod you better!

With their level of intoxication, I'd better.

my boss was asking my opinion on some chick (not in a "did u see the ass on that one" way) and i said "oh, i'm not the person to ask" -- he asked "oh, you're on the other side of the fence" and i said "fences are man-made."

BAHAH

So you're straddling the fence.

is this trivia bar one of the TC mainstays, Eric? and how would i do? (on the trivia)

It's actually a trivia syndicate throughout town. I host Thursday nights at the Eagle. (Which, as I mentioned before, does play Donna Summer.)

The trivia questions aren't difficult, but they're not typically the easiest in the world either.

i'm bad at trivia, but not bad at bj's

Practice makes perfect.

that's true

i took the day off work yesterday to celebrate my boyfriend's leaving his hospital job. we went for a long hike at the bird sanctuary and then we walked the length of one of the beaches in newport and then we had nachos. it was a good day.

ugh that sounds good. i'm going to coney island for the first time tomorrow to cheer on Ryan's half marathon. pumped.

is that the Brooklyn half-marathon? that runs down Ocean Parkway?

word!

tell them to run gently so they don't wake me up

hahah ok

it was spectator shouting at 7:40

that movie will sell out on Monday btw

Hi gays

Hiya!

Ahoy.

Al Jarreau's "After All" is my favorite song.

and not Peter Cetera-Cher's?

Dar Williams's is my fave "After All."

Hey fgti!

I haven't been around bc I've been involved in a flurry of work activity and social activity but !! you are always on my mind !!

awwwwwww

morbs really?? i'm actually considering going. by myself. i had a great birthday party last night but sometimes a man just needs to be alone.

also RE: the shouting at 7:40a - Ryan got a personal best! 1hr 33mins woooooooo

what do we think of 38 and with beard

i haven't veered away from the cradle robbing bracket for some time now

6'10 185 lbs

6'1 obvs

what color beard

black but be was too far. instead i wound up on skype with a 20yr old college student.

I'm 35 1/2 w/beard and I'm terrific

The thing I'm in continues to be a hilarious roller-coaster of emotional instability, as might be imagined when it's dick x4, but is wretchedly rewarding 6 days out of 7. Big love to Alex in MTL and Stevie for being my sounding boards on that 1 day a week

Stevie might have a fun story to tell FYI Stevie tell your story

Hahahahahaha omg I was maybe not even going to tell ILX but

so basically this dude came over Sat afternoon and we spent the whole weekend drinking wine and smoking weed and watching movies and fucking. He was this big bearded hulking hairy bear of a dude with the voice of a southern John Goodman and the mannerisms and always-on goofiness of the flamboyant Shih Tzu owner in Best in Show. At one point I f*sted him listening to James Ferraro's "Far Side Virtual" which was, in retrospect, extremely bizarre; like it was probably the absolute weirdest choice I possibly cld have made for that scenario. Then I washed up (really really really thoroughly) and ate a piece of pizza.

god why do I post shit like this on the Internet

always so coy with the details! what kind of pizza??

Meat lovers'

oh I couldn't dare say

i ate a bunch of salami w/ my friend y'day

not a eupho

i keep pepperoni in the house all the time!

same!

:) :)

Happy birthday to you! I got a tank top or 2 but I think I'm keeping them.

hbdty surm!

i got my summer haircut this weekend. it's cute. i'm cute. hello.

Hey QT

yeah?

i got my summer haircut this wknd too! 'cept i had to fix it up when i got back. i guess i'm cute now idk

summer protip: gin & watermelon

planning to get my quarterly haircut this week

also, i have no TV reception, so might watch Letterman finale at the Eagle. It's jockstrap night, but they'll have it on.

summer protip: gin & watermelon

Already looking forward to next weekend.

yesterday i put watermelon into my gin drink but i guess you could flip it & reverse it, too.

it's your fremme neppa venette

can we call this drink a "fremme neppa venette" y/n

is that like a French twist

sounds more like a starbucks coffee bev imho

i ran into a cute bearded blonde stranger the other day. i had been warned about him by another man leaving the restaurant that night, and then happened to run into him at the bar right afterward. he found it odd that i knew where he worked.

Some drunken older gent at Whole Foods tried to pull the "do I know you from somewhere" trick on me. Since I was waiting around for someone else, I strung him along for a question or two before either he or I got bored; can't remember which one.

ahaha

and what a trick it is. (i've heard)

My grocery shopping has a ritualistic fervor; I expect Tsai to film me. I can't be bothered to talk to anyone.

Do you take one step every minute?

my grocery usually involves a valium and a slew of cold cuts + bread

i may be a girly girl on the outside but inside i'm basically just a bachelor

Only in the wine aisle.

xpost

I find myself grocery shopping almost every day, which I detest. I generally put my head down and barrel through, no doubt missing numerous no cruisy moments at all.

I usually buy myself a big tub of peanut butter, a couple packages of string cheese, eggs, chicken breasts, baby spinach, berries and carrots on a weekly basis. Occasionally I'll splurge on cottage cheese or meatballs.

Have to do liquor runs separate in Minnesota.

oh string cheese right thx for reminding me

i only eat Ryan's homemade meatballs, i'm a snoot, it's a family recipe

If I'm having a partic lazy week, I'll just buy a bunch of sliced turkey instead of chix breasts.

OJ, wine, milk, oatmeal, chicken cutlets and thighs, cold cuts, bread, and produce constitute my regular purchases.

when i had to stay home and get deliveries during my convalescence 2 years ago, frozen food entered my life. So I buy a fair amount of that Amy's stuff and the like.

No more bread. Popcorn as an occasional indulgence. I just bought some garlic-basil butter that I'll have to use for more than just eggs.

No more bread.

Oh god, I AM one of those people now!

i thought you could eat anything (damn you)? The whole egg?

I eat popcorn p much every other night. Bread almost every day. Could never give up pizza, tho I gen limit myself to 4 slices a week.

yeah that's true i am too actually xp. like i try not to buy it - but you can NEVER stop me from having a great sammich.

Bread's only for sandwiches. I'm the only person alive with Cuban blood who can resist carbs.

I find myself grocery shopping almost every day, which I detest. I generally put my head down and barrel through, no doubt missing numerous no cruisy moments at all.

― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, May 19, 2015 3:01 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this applies to most quotidian life, i'll never understand how so many gay men seem to find the time or space to be in cruise mode when they're going about their daily business

grocery shopping is a terrible terrible thing

i just end up staring vacantly at various shelves and always end up forgetting something i need

same i'm so bad at it

like i like going, but then i get there and it's legit like a Calc test

i thought you could eat anything (damn you)?

I can not. Pizza in particular is something I can't have unless I want to open up the possibility of clearing rooms with the after effects.

The whole egg?

Duh.

clearing rooms with the after effects.

Here's where the advantage of being old, alone, not caring, or some combination of the above come sin. It's particularly effective when you need more room on the subway.

Making room on the subway's one thing, making people wonder if they're getting chem-bombed is another.

My body has similar reactions to too much sugar. Made dropping fun foods in general a relatively easy decision, probably more direct than the creep of an expanding waistline.

i am put in mind of a personal ad i saw maybe 15 years ago with the headline "Fart Proudly"

I believe that ad said "Fart Loudly."

well ANYONE can manage that

i mostly wander through supermarkets in a glass-eyed stupor

set to "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"

set to "A Horse With No Name"

i love supermarket music so much tho. the stares from the vacant eyes of other listless shoppers with carts and the faintest sadness in their eyes, whilst perusing sun chips and listening to "I Hope You Dance." it doesn't get more real than that.

lol you'll have to excuse me i've been out of it today

The Stepford Wives is a formative fashion statement.

i hear "i.g.y." and "sir duke" in my store everyday -- never get tired of em

You can feel it all over.

it would be an honor.

(maybe that was too much, sorry a tad stoned ^_^;;)

Point taken, ;)

last night i chilled with a guy who couldn't finish. he really really wanted to be he just couldn't. it was a bit disappointing but he was nice.

always a shame

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf64uuaj1yM

better not at all than early

really, the primacy of the Big O, still?

he's out of office January 2017.

I had another fit last night from being in a room that only had gay men in it.

(Previous post wasn't actually entirely a change of subject either.)

a tight fit?

The only thing tight is my psychological alignment with Catherine Deneuve in Repulsion.

god i can't even talk about that movie.

it's right up there with Carrie in terms of movies where if anyone speaks they will be silenced immediately

It's always been my least favorite of the Polanski trilogy, but probably because it hits too close to home.

I'm feeling like Deneuve in On My Way these days.

and my last trick looked like Depardieu in Potiche.

Hah, you guys always know how to pull be out of the spiral.

strictly going Umbrellas of Cherbourg finale here

Sharing space with Nino Castelnuovo? I'd take it.

RE: REPULSION, i think there's something about the obvious imperfection of the movie that makes the film slightly more interesting in its examination of OCD, sexuality and beauty.

Right, if it made any more sense it wouldn't be true to the actual experience of mental descent.

lol right something like that!

i mean, not to mention her *performance*

also that poor, devastatingly handsome guy :(

These days she's an actress instead of a fascinating camera object but she hasn't forgotten that she IS a fascinating camera object. In the last ten years she's been the least pampered diva in movies. I love how she hasn't given up smoking and drinking heavily. She's a bawd.

a bawd for sure.

boy she must be fun in Christmas parties and summer cookouts.

and cleans up immediately

http://www.edrants.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/potiche.jpg

omg don't get me fantasizing about such things at 11:30am

I didn't know the track suit and apron look inspired such things.

I fantasize about setting fire to that kitchen.

(My parents' "Florida room" boasted similar linoleum and lemon yellow paint)

well it was more the xmas party and bbq idea, but that outfit is not hurting things in all honesty

having never grown up in Florida, i am still akin to these things

a v particular era of florida style -- nowadays all the mcmansion interiors are painted white, w/ white carpet, white tile, etc etc

i'd love some mustard and chartreuse in my life

that film is a late '70s period piece (set in the French provinces; she's an airhead political wife)

awes

i painted the door to my apartment chartreuse so that i wd have such things in my life, it's v fresh and invigorating

also, grocery shopping is just the best. I love it so much and it always takes me like an hour. One time Abbott/Crabbitts and I spent like an entire afternoon grocery shopping just hopping from grocer to grocer around Tucson on her orange Buddy scooter, I think we only bought like 8 things but had so much fun, it's a rly fond memory tbh

bonding w/ a great person over a shared love of grocery shopping in the middle of a long vacation

Stevie, if you ever visit Atlanta, plz let me know -- there are 2 stores I want to take you because I believe you will be overcome with joy.

will u provide me w a shopping stipend y/n?

If you're not actually overcome with joy I will give you a $34.82 Disappointment Fee.

When i spot people in the store and can tell that it is the highlight of their day, there are stirrings of pity in my obsidian heart.

but ymmv as always

no i really do love retail therapy. i just went to the mall to walk around. i just get confused by food.

speaking of walking around, Fleet Week has begun.

I love how this thread has taken off in the last two weeks. Thanks, surm!

haha thank YOU

Fleet Week has begun

My friends and I regard the arrival of the U varsity team in late October with the same level of gusto.

er, late August

one of the straight dudes in town that i have a stupid crush on showed up on instagram today modelling speedos. i can't handle it.

Your only recourse is to screw him.

fleet week mehhhhhh

i used to love food shopping! now i just find it drudgery. unless i'm excited about baking something maybe but i haven't baked anything in maybe a year

im past messing with quote unquote straight dudes but this dude would be the exception to prove that rule

it's about his butt, really. it's tremendous.

i have been doing most of the household grocery shopping for the past 6 months so i just now sent my boyfriend to go get them without me.

btw i have gotten more sex out of Wigstock (RIP) than Fleet Week

...but then most sailors aren't inordinately attractive. (God knows moreso than college football players, though.)

i'm working on a Swedish strawberry blonde who uses the word "melting" a lot when i recommend pop music to him, dunno if it'll work out or not

I am in Chicago this weekend! IML is also in Chicago this weekend! What will materialize???

the world is your oyster!

i still haven't been to Chicago. i'm afraid if i go i will never want to come back.

Try going in winter.

! so i've heard. but it is my favorite season... one of these days, i will make the mecca.

i think this fall i will be visiting CHI for a spell (cc: clouds)

yes!!!

short visit in 5 weeks

(none of that deep dish crap)

I'll be there for Pitchfork in July.

one of my besties is moving there to be with her boyfriend. i'm sad :(

Ryan took me out tonight and then promptly fell asleep when we got home. now i'm left in bed with a buzz on and the 20yr old on deck on the phone. he just moved into his new apartment, and actually has furniture.

plus i'm out of weed,

wtf

I saw the handsomest man in the supermarket. Then I got a message from someone on grindr saying "you're close" from someone who happened to be in the same supermarket. He asked me if I wanted to meet. He was in his car by that point. I said yes. He said he'd drive to get me and I said ok I'll meet you in the street. It turned out to be the handsome man I saw. When he saw me he put the foot down in his car and drove away very fast. I feel disproportionately sad about it.

I feel old and ugly and sad. Gahd.

I'm having a crisis.

man, that's awful babe! :(

I feel ridiculous for bringing it up.

where would this thread be w/o sexual humiliation tho?

seriously that dude's a moron, don't sweat it.

Thanks c x

um. yeah. you're so handsome. and just bc someone else doesn't find you so, doesn't mean you're not. you're a sexy guy jed :) :)

Thanks Ramz! I mean it doesn't matter about handsome. I feel like a fool. I guess I'm just lonely but thanks xxx

I've always found you nothing less than completely charming on here. That guy's a nitwit and you deserve better anyway.

yeah and probably the most you woulda got anyway was uncomfortable (for you) road head tbh

Thank you my virtual friends.

i'm watching Copycat right now, and Sigourney Weaver has a world of virtual friends in it. except on DOS!

also this movie is amazing.

Only thing I remember about that movie now is Harry Connick Jr. doing some of the worst ever scenery chewing in film history.

i kind of want to go out tonight but i've been drunk for like 2 days already

jed_ as your internet husband I want you to know that you are magnificent

I went to my first circuit party last night! It was kinda like being on safari.

jealz

I have gone out to gay bars and gotten 3-5h of sleep every night for the past 3 nights. Last night I got home at 6am!

and ppl ask me why i am always so restless! you are doing us proud

I got to know a v handsome furry Latino rugby player in an alley behind the club at like 4am

see now there's how to have a Saturday night.

MDMA, where have you been my life!

that all sounds great (except for "circuit party")

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkhdx4JzyMQ

is e on E???

i think he is projecting onto SD's agenda

i've had a little fun with some letters of the alphabet recently myself. also Morbs why are you up at 4:12

i sleep twice many nights

♡