Come anticipate EMOJI: THE MOVIE with me

http://getemoji.com/assets/og/mobile.png

EXCLUSIVE: In a deal near seven figures, Sony Pictures Animation won a three-studio auction for an animated movie pitch centering on the Emoji, those lovable round headed figures that are as much a staple of social media correspondence as adverbs and adjectives. The project will be co-written by Eric Siegel and Anthony Leondis, with the latter directing the feature. Leondis pitched the project around to studios, with storyboards for how the movie would play out. Three studios bid–I’ve heard Warner Bros and Paramount were the others–but none more aggressively than Sony. It’s a big project for SPA president Kristine Belson, who got a quick decision from studio chief Tom Rothman to move aggressively. Michelle Raimo Kouyate is producing. This appears to be a zeitgeist moment for these ideograms that hatched in Japan and have spread worldwide. Unlike like, say Lego, there are also no underlying rights here to purchase, which makes this as much a catnip idea to Hollywood as public domain fairy tales that fuel so many blockbusters. I’ve heard that another pitch is going to be shopped shortly, so there might be reason for Sony Animation to move quickly.

[url]https://deadline.com/2015/07/emoji-movie-sony-pictures-animation-anthony-leondis-kung-fu-panda-secrets-of-the-masters-1201482768/[/img]

http://aboveaverage.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/poop-emoji-original-poop.jpg

We're inching ever closer to Coupon: The Movie.

less inching, more rushing headlong

http://emojiparty.club/😂💩

FUCK YEAH

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--HE99-2T4--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/hwrae4ypni6sbvq4wvpc.jpg

somehow missed these intriguing details a few weeks back

At CinemaCon 2016, Sony Pictures Animation presented some concept art from the film, which will be released in August 2017. The art revealed that The Emoji Movie will take place inside a smart phone. Yes, the plot is that the emojis inside your phone are alive. Everything starts out in the text app which is the main place emojis live and work. However, by the end of act one, they end up in “The World of the Wallpaper.”

Did you know each icon on your phone is actually a massive cube that extends deep into your phone? And that each cube is its own world, creating multiple worlds that the emojis will explore and get into adventures on? Well, that’s what happens. Streaming music on your phone is also a literal stream of music, as in music notes that make up a river.

Finally, Sony revealed they have partnered with a ton of different apps to make the movie feel authentic. Who those partners are, we do not yet know.

Okay, I've finished pouring the kerosene, we can burn the earth now.

The success of the Angry Birds Movie is the worst thing that could have happened to the near-future of children's cinema. And possibly human culture on the whole.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLnoLmCqT30

Properties as-yet unexploited by Hollywood:

Glad Handi-Wrap The Movie
Uno The Movie
Velveeta The Movie
Jeep Grand Cherokee The Movie
Nordic Cruise Lines The Movie
Purell The Movie
Norton Antivirus The Movie
Michelin Man The Movie
WD-40 The Movie
Grand Marnier The Movie

Anybody wanna join me for a pitch sesh or fifteen?

chester cheetah vs tony the tiger

I've already posted my idea somewhere about the Kellogg's mascot cinematic universe. But, yeah, after the release of The Breakfast Bunch we can pow wow about crossovers with Frito-Lay. Call my secretary and we'll set up a meeting.

it's time for a gritty reboot of the california raisins

wait it appears reality is way ahead of me here

In 2015, it was announced that a live-action/CGI reboot of the California Raisins would be released sometime in 2016-2017, with president of The Actors Hall of Fame Foundation, Rusty Citron, as one of the people behind the project.[13]

Damn it, not another reboot! Why do they feel the need to change such intricately-drawn characters that we're all so familiar with and tarnish our cherished memories? Who among us hasn't marveled at the way...that one raisin, uh, did a little two-step? Or cried when that...other raisin, like, went "woo" or something?

Might as well turn this into the general "entertainment products that exist because a harried executive on the verge of being fired was fishing around in his pockets for literally any idea whatsoever" thread:

‘Monopoly The Musical’: Hasbro Partners With Broadway Producer for Live Entertainment (EXCLUSIVE)

The url contains the word 'legit' which is I guess how you differentiate this from the Onion story it actually should be.

£55million funding for possible Tetris movie trilogy

EMO JIM O'VIE

I think if I'm unable to successfully pitch any of my movie ideas I'm going to go into business selling wire brushes to Hollywood execs who try and try but are never quite able to scrub themselves clean after birthing, say, 2000 Flushes Blue 2: Electric Bluegaloo.

holy fuck this is going to be amazing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbVqzZ5dOIY

http://venuspatrol.com/oimages/rbtetris.jpg

The success of the Angry Birds Movie is the worst thing that could have happened to the near-future of children's cinema. And possibly human culture on the whole.

― Manspread Mann (Old Lunch), Wednesday, June 22, 2016 1:14 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

did you see it? excellent movie. almost as good as Zootopia.

Yes, I remember you saying so, and no, I didn't and won't ever.

It's like being recommended a book that's really good except also it's bound in human skin.

Where, at long last, do we draw the line, good sir?

are these movies crossing any lines? how are they different from Snow White or the Little Mermaid or Hercules or The Incredibles? they're fun !

I think they are different from the films you listed, but they're not particularly different to franchises like Transformers.

I always forget about Snow White's origin as a spokescharacter for Lucky Strikes and the Incredibles' original incarnation as a wallpaper pattern.

Does the subject matter's origin matter? It's all going to become merchandise anyway.

It matters inasmuch as there is at least some thread of a narrative or the bare bones of character wrt most properties that are adapted into movies or TV shows. Adapting Angry Birds and Cavemen and Tetris and Monopoly is crass as hell because there's nothing to even attach a story to. It's like if Fruity Pebbles and The Flintstones had happened in reverse.

(I get that these are relatively arbitrary distinctions but they're my arbitrary distinctions, damn it, and I stand by them.)

i'd say it's akin to making a movie based on a colour simply because it's something that people recognise but of those corporate sellouts jarman and kieslowski have already done that

*of course that corporate etc

'Fruit Ninja' Movie in the Works (Exclusive)

I read these stories and almost immediately forget having read them, what with having to devote all of my resources to fighting back the subsequent torrent of existential dread and all.

But what's wrong with working in reverse? I thought the story in the Angry Birds Movie was great, really compelling and fleshed out. I heard great things about the Lego movie. I don't really see a distinction.

LOL when kids of this generation grow up to learn the movies they adored as kids are all based on games their parents played on their cellphones while waiting for the bus

Candy Crush has GOT to be in the pipes

I'm hoping for some
http://wp.subnetzero.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/snake.png

wish granted, yr welcome

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aR15Xk0QyY

The success of the Angry Birds Movie is the worst thing that could have happened to the near-future of children's cinema. And possibly human culture on the whole.

― Manspread Mann (Old Lunch), Wednesday, June 22, 2016 1:14 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

did you see it? excellent movie. almost as good as Zootopia.

― flappy bird, Wednesday, 22 June 2016 18:38 (2 hours ago) Permalink

birds of a feather etc etc

http://variety.com/2016/film/news/viktor-frankl-mans-search-for-meaning-movie-1201804466/

Starring the Rock (fingers crossed).

I feel like the idea of a movie for children (with a little something for the adults) is gradually blurring into movies for adults (with a little something for the kids)

Yeah this is all about merch. One of our kids is now obsessed with finding red angry bird stuffed toys thanks to that fuckin film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0ALkNKQzmA

^^^emoji the movie but better and only 5 minutes long

jesus christ this press release

http://www.sonypicturesanimation.com/pdfs/emojiexpressyourself_castannounce_emoji_pressrelease.pdf

i'd expect james fucking corden to be involved in this but ilana glazer? damn that's disappointing

💩

Patrick Stewart is set to voice the poo emoji in animated adventure The Emoji Movie.

The actor, known for his stage and screen work, will play Poop alongside Silicon Valley star TJ Miller, Broad City star Ilana Glazer and James Corden.

The plot follows an emoji born with multiple expressions who goes on an adventure in a teenager’s phone. The announcement of Stewart’s involvement was accompanied by news that Christopher Guest’s longtime collaborator Jennifer Coolidge and Bridesmaids star Maya Rudolph will also voice characters in the film.

The film is being directed by Tony Leondis and among the script’s many writers is Mike White, whose work includes School of Rock and acclaimed HBO comedy Enlightened.

A teaser trailer was recently released to largely negative feedback online. The majority of its trailer uploads on YouTube are currently swayed by dislikes, with one featuring more than 11 times disapproval versus approval.

Streaming music on your phone is also a literal stream of music, as in music notes that make up a river.

That's even worse than the Train of Thought in Inside Out.

in other news, because nothing is out of the question in our bold new era of casually unsettling surreality: Lisa Frank Live-Action/Animation Hybrid Movie in Development

welp, this is happening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8pJt4dK_s4

the cynical crossbreeding of wreck-it ralph and inside out that no-one demanded

I was hoping that this had already come and gone without me noticing and that we were now safely in the post-release phase of collectively pretending that it had never happened.

But since its release is still impending, I'll go ahead and predict that it breaks at least one box office record and spawns at least two sequels and possibly a spinoff.

i mean i'm fervently hoping it breaks at least one box office record but it's not the one that would lead to sequels and/or spinoffs

Always worth reiterating that Patrick Stewart is voicing an animated pile of shit in this children's movie.

i can only assume that becoming a stoner late in life has catastrophically affected his judgement

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwWfX5ihbr0

so this shit is really happening huh

this is a poster I've seen around town

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rrjlvHYb3mg/WVxFg8h9tII/AAAAAAACk70/PbENGIldNxAh5Sjqx2S_Lq_3QfWBExV0wCLcBGAs/s800/emoji%2Bmovie%2Bpoop%2Bbillboard.jpg

fuck hollywood

I want to walk in every theatre showing this and just fling actual poop at audience members

Every now and then I'm reminded afresh that this movie exists and I reel in horror and disbelief. Anyone who ever pays a cent to see this thing should be disenfranchised and institutionalised immediately.

yeah seeing this movie means you're part of the problem

inches away from CAN YOU GET 85% ON THIS QUIZ?: THE MOVIE

^ will be greenlit depending on this movie's success

At last, the movie America deserves.

but not the one it needs right now

the Social Media universe trilogy is probably due out soon

from EW review:

Gene has to go on the run with another misfit, Hi-5 (James Corden), one of the most horrifyingly Cronenberg-y cartoon creations since John Lasseter gave a car a tongue. Hi-5 is a talking hand, and whereas most of the Emojis look like rubber, Hi-5 has uncanny-valley skin. His palm has cheeks, and a belly that can stiffen into a 4-pack. At one point, Hi-5 turns around, and we see that this hand has a butt.

that is phenomenal

does every age of civilization have its Emoji Movie? what was the nadir of fucked up, meaningless creativity while Rome was collapsing?

I will assume you are fiddling around with that question

Dad jokes aside, I would dearly liked to have been in the meeting where they decided the hand should have a butt

Does the poop have a butt?

what comes out of the poop's butt? corn on the cob?

does not appear to have a butt based on this clip, although it raises more questions than it answers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmqscxta_Fc

The poop came out of the hand's butt

There's a theater up here where one can kludge together a Mike White doubleheader of BEATRIZ AT DINNER and this

Howard the duck is shooting from inside the phone

Is black policeman or Easter Island head in this

What about Crying Laughing, and are there tit/dick pics on the phone?

Justin McElroy (of the podcast My Brother My Brother & Me) took his kid daughter to see it, whole thread is hilarious

Patrick Stewart is a literal pile of shit. On leaving the bathroom with his son: "Should we wash our hands?" [uproarious laughter]

— Justin McElroy (@JustinMcElroy) July 29, 2017

Not from us, obviously. Charlie is watching with an expression like I'm teaching her to balance a checkbook while at Barney's funeral

— Justin McElroy (@JustinMcElroy) July 29, 2017

Favorite character so far? Easy! The silent ones, because every word spoken makes the ending further from my current fixed point in time

— Justin McElroy (@JustinMcElroy) July 29, 2017

Maybe in the sequel the emojis can come out of the phone and into the pocket where the phone is and they can meet Lint and Penny and Used Kleenex and hopefully there will be stuffed animals and lunchboxes emblazoned with those soon to be much-loved characters and maybe I'll get fed into a wood chipper before that happens and maybe if I'm not fed I'll just like gracefully dive into the whirring spinning blades of my own volition.

"There's a theater up here where one can kludge together a Mike White doubleheader of BEATRIZ AT DINNER and this"

wait what, Mike White wrote this????

this review is great

In the end — and I am going to spoil this movie here, please prepare yourself for the loss — the emojis turn into GIFs, I guess. Because Gene’s ability to turn himself into multiple feelings helps his user Alex express complicated feelings to the girl he likes everyone gets on board with Gene’s defect.

What? There's no way I'm trusting anarchic emojis with minds of their own in an important text message.

So fucking excited to see this tonight

pvmic

ah fuck i can't go anymore... sometime this week

booooooo

😱😱😱😱😱

I don't get why the reviews for this are so bad. I saw it last night and it ruled. Charlize Theron kicked so much ass and the 80's soundtrack was Cold War-tastic.

YOOOOO CHANGE OF PLANS IM FUCKIN GOING

Lol Neanderthal

OK, briefly... it's not a well constructed or well written movie, a huge missed opportunity. But the disgust and over the top loathing that this movie is receiving isn't because it's not engaging or even that it's a lazy Inside-Out ripoff, it's because it's the complete opposite of an escapist summer movie. There are so many rich philosophical and social questions posed - time and relativity, multiple universes, and the emojis' condition - being restricted to one emotion at birth and imprisoned within Textopolis in the same way that we complain about being imprisoned by social media and our smartphones. It's a pretty heady movie that squanders its premise and isn't engaging. But the Paris sequence with the parents was kind of beautiful, being able to walk inside of your user's Instagram photo roll and explore a frozen world. I mean, it gets pretty fucking out there at times. Wonder Woman is escapism, The Emoji Movie is reality, and it's horrifying. No wonder people have such a visceral reaction to it.

Is it as good as the third matrix movie, Speed Racer, or The Conversation?

It's definitely better than Matrix Revolutions. I didn't see the 2008 Speed Racer. if John Cazale were alive and in The Emoji Movie, it would be better than The Conversation.

had no idea Armond White posted on ILX

oh yeah, there's an "abandoned luggage" emoji that's black (wtf?). there are black emojis and people in the movie, but the abandoned luggage sounds like Katt Williams, says "oh HELL naw," etc.

xpost thank you i consider that a high compliment

def not better than Speed Racer

flappy loved The Angry Birds Movie as well, lest we forget. I look forward to his review of The Bitcoin Adventure and iPhone 10 Cases: The Musical.

the angry birds movie was nothing compared to this. i really came close to crying during that Paris Instagram scene.

besides i'm sort of obligated to support any movie about bird games

a huge missed opportunity

i mean is it tho

It sounds like it captures the magical experience of using Instagram, at least

how the fuck does shit like this get greelit, let alone make it all the way through production?

cocaineisahelluvadrug.gif

Production Budget: $50 million
Opening Weekend Domestic Gross: $25,650,000

That's why.

Keep your eyes peeled for The Charmin Bears and the Dingleberries of Hope, coming to theaters summer 2021!

I know I'll be peeling my eyes.

With a vegetable peeler.

So I'll be blind, you see.

idgi

Cheap, based on established brands, kids will see anything ... I was just talking with a fellow parent about what a dire summer it's been for younger kids movies. The top grossing movie of the year so far is I think Beauty and the Beast, but even that was designed to skew slightly older (and more to girls than boys). But otherwise, for little kids, there's been Despicable Me 3, Captain Underpants, Cars 3, Smurfs 3 (was this even released?) ... Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature is coming in a week or so. No, I did not make that title up.

CG kids movies are one of the most profitable genres these days, and it looks like this one was made cheaply, and the premise is practically designed for attracting financing, and emojis are in the public domain

i'll say one thing about this misbegotten horror of a movie, it feels like a perfect summation of the current cultural climate, albeit entirely unintentionally

Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature is coming in a week or so. No, I did not make that title up.

nut job 3: deez nuts, coming summer 2019

I just realized that I may need to unpack my Charmin Bears reference above for those who don't live in the US (since this may as well be a repository for signs of the end of western civilization). You see, they're an animated family of bears who've switched to Charmin brand toilet paper because the cheaper brand they'd been using was giving them rampant dingleberries. By the grace of god, this fact is left more implicit than explicit, but still.

why would bears choose to use toilet paper at all when there's likely a decent supply of geese around for them to take care of their dingleberry issues

And the initial employment of the animated bears was a riff on the old 'does a bear shit in the woods?' joke. Highbrow fellas, these Charmin execs.

xpost Beautiful.

i feel like, without really being aware of it happening, i've nonetheless become ilx's number-one advocate of a) using geese to wipe your ass and b) referring to soylent green at every opportunity

it's a living i guess

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

i'll say one thing about this misbegotten horror of a movie, it feels like a perfect summation of the current cultural climate, albeit entirely unintentionally

oh, please. this movie isn't an advertisement for anything - you could say Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc... but do they even need advertising at this point? there's nothing crass about it. it's about something most of use and spend a lot of time on every day, and it is horrifying in a way, because you have to confront the world we live in for 86 minutes instead of going to Narnia or Gotham or wherever the Minions come from. Don't get me wrong - it's not a well made movie, but it's getting criticized on the merits of the concept, which, perhaps in the hands of the people that made Zootopia, could've been executed in a more thoughtful way.

"a summation of our current cultural climate" in what way?

there's nothing crass about it.

there's nothing crass about it.

✌️

Is a thing you actually said about The Emoji Movie.

Yes

Why is it crass? Emojis are public domain. Many of us use them everyday. More of us have smartphones. A movie about that is not inherently crass. The Angry Birds Movie was crass (piss humor).

Sony missed a trick by not hiring you for their marketing team.

we are talking about the movie where there's a literal talking piece of shit, right

Is it as good as the third matrix movie, Speed Racer, or The Conversation?

― El Tomboto, Sunday, July 30, 2017 8:42 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wait did anybody answer this question earnestly, is this movie anything like my three favorite movies of all time

yes i did upthread

we are talking about the movie where there's a literal talking piece of shit, right

Poop is not in it. Way overrepresented in advertising. Has 4 lines at most. Nothing compared to Angry Birds watersports scene.

feel like Mrs Darbus looking for another volunteer

and ill answer the third one earnestly now: no, The Emoji Movie is not as good as The Conversation

Whew.

is it as good as The World According to GArp

Didn't see it

just to be clear where we are now itt, we're splitting hairs about which is more crass: a movie featuring a talking turd or a movie featuring avian watersports

Its better than Vertigo but not quite as good as Citizen Kane. its more on the level of La Regle du Jeu.

yes... I think the difference is clear 😉

We're also overemploying a particularly limited definition of 'crass'. I'd argue that the more pertinent meaning is, say, a hungover Sony animation exec who woke up late and scrambled madly about his person for an idea to present in his morning meeting, cycling through and dismissing children's movies based on socks and hair gel and little bags of cocaine before finally opening his phone and realizing that no one has made a film about those stupid little icon things his kids use all the time, what are they called. Luckily, someone in the meeting knows what they're called and they're like, sure, The Emoji Movie, we don't have to shell out any money for the property and the American public will scarf down any plateful of animated shit we set down before them, why the fuck not.

"those stupid little icon things"

overly dismissive of emojis. people, especially young kids, use them every single day - and the movie notes that, makes obvious comparison to hieroglyphics. fwiw I would see a movie about the alphabet

the American public will scarf down any plateful of animated shit we set down before them

how quickly we forget delgo

fwiw I would see a movie about the alphabet

i salute your indefatigability

Like, treating whatever lies beneath the lowest common denominator as a frontier to be explored and mined for the sake of bilking a public you have naked contempt for is pretty much exactly what I mean when I say 'crass'. Unless we're talking anarchic punk bands.

kinda with flappy bird here. you all love superhero movies

Cogent challops.

superhero movies draw on the better part of a century's worth of narratives worked on by literally thousands of creatives, the emoji movie draws on the lil' drawings of eggplants and crying faces that live in your phone, i dunno that it's a particularly meaningful comparison

every single superhero movie ends with a good vs evil punch-off, not really that much of a stretch as comparisons go

Well by god if flappy and lj both challop it then it's so i spect

the emoji movie ends with a good vs evil punch-off?

I'm just saying this rich tradition involving hundreds of creatives sure does seem to have been shunted into pretty much exactly the same form over and over and over when it hits the movies

yeah, and while we're here what's with all these fuckin' sports movies where one team ends up victorious over the other

good vs evil is baked into the superhero premise - it's not a bug, it's a feature

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ_t1eOAipo

Help, I cannot tell the difference between a Sherlock Holmes and the postage stamps/cutlery/carpet samples that a film exec arbitrarily decided to assign personalities to.

"The expression 'the narcissism of minor differences', I will translate in direct terms as 'conformist terror'."

people, especially young kids, use them every single day

This doesn't make it right.

the emoji epidemic

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--REiWqfGk--/vzi7e7yb0xpt2f260m5t.jpg

I would see the Emoji movie if there was some Emoji-eating monster in the film that bloodily chomped down on them

maybe that's coming in the sequel though

does this movie end with a phone dying and being chucked in a landfill

a messenger on horseback arrives and announces the Queen has pardoned the Poop Emoji for his sins and made him the Duke

good vs evil is baked into the superhero premise - it's not a bug, it's a feature

There are plenty of ways to dramatize good vs. evil, superhero movies choose the same staging 100% of the time

Maybe there should be a take on the genre with a "conflicted" hero. Or maybe conflicted "hero". Not black vs white as much as--and this sounds crazy I know--gray vs gray.

You mean like an antihero? Someone who blurs the line between good and evil? It could work, but I fear comic movies wouldn't be just for kids anymore.

I don't want to suggest we have a situation where the very people our hero is trying to protect come to view him as a kind of villain, wouldn't want to suggest we have such a grim take.

No no, I think we should be brave and take a step off that precipice. Here's an idea: what if we adjusted the color palette somewhat, leached some of the color so that it was more in line with this 'gray' you speak of. It's like a metaphor, do u see.

does this movie end with a phone dying and being chucked in a landfill

― Οὖτις, Monday, July 31, 2017 12:09 PM (forty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

almost, yes!

the ultimate message of the movie is "Be Yourself."

also, lol "That doesn't make it right." emojis suddenly signal decline of western civilization? like i said, it makes the comparison early on to hieroglyphics. it's just a new way of communicating.

Emojis don't signal the end of western civilization (although they're part of the increasing problem of the devaluation of words and the ephemerality of communication). A movie about emojis signals that western civilization is maybe dead and gone and that we're all just ghosts casually reflecting upon the actions which brought about our end.

And can I just say the idea that emojis = hieroglyphics is a really dumb and bad idea.

The Meh emoji's hubristic refusal to accept his assigned emotion in defiance of the gods ensures that the blood curse is passed on the next generation.

A movie about emojis signals that western civilization is maybe dead and gone and that we're all just ghosts casually reflecting upon the actions which brought about our end.

this is so over the top. endless sequels, transformers movies, sure - but why such antipathy for the emoji movie? again, we use these things every day. maybe you don't, but millions of people do.

And can I just say the idea that emojis = hieroglyphics is a really dumb and bad idea.

why?

the ultimate message of the movie is "Be Yourself."

terrible message imo

The Meh emoji's hubristic refusal to accept his assigned emotion in defiance of the gods ensures that the blood curse is passed on the next generation.

― jmm, Monday, July 31, 2017 1:03 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is actually otm - the dad Meh reveals to his wife that he has the same emotional cycling affliction. he passed it onto their son.

is this happening right now?

this is happening right now.

http://bestanimations.com/Military/Explosions/atomic-mushroom-cloud-explosion-2-2.gif

i use coffee every day

brb gonna pitch coffee: the movie

xxxpost http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/20/206ea8ec783fca87bb603b0ffe25fa865b59831766b96aa87cd73c00e3010cf3.jpg

xpost to Shakey - It's also "Be good to others." Jailbreak, the hacker character, is revealed to be a Princess emoji that went rogue and left Textopolis because she didn't want to be restricted to being a happy pretty princess. there's a brief scene when they're surfing the sound waves of songs within Spotify (again, a beautiful image), and she essentially says "girls don't always have to be this way, boys don't always have to be this way, etc."

is there terrorism in the Emoji movie

the emoji movie is terrorism

Keep in mind the emojis live in a PKD-esque hell world where they're contained within cubes and forced to reproduce the same emotion eternally. The Emoji Movie is explicitly anti-fascist.

xxpost - yes, by the government (i.e. the phone's anti-viral software). they erase any "malfunctioning" emojis

how do Emojis reproduce

how is emoji formed

i for one am appreciating flappy bird's lyrical paeans to this movie itt

ty ☺

Same. He makes it sound like this is the Starship Troopers of the '00s xp

lol whoops... malfunction! ☺️

excellent troll job imo

how do Emojis reproduce

― Neanderthal, Monday, July 31, 2017 1:13 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

how is emoji formed

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, July 31, 2017 1:13 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

these questions are never addressed, just like in the Cars movies. but there isn't an image or a scene that brings that question into the foreground, like how the Cars race... but also watch in the stands?

im not trolling

how does this compare to Darkman 3

Rewatched the Mr. Show 'Coupon: The Movie' sketch this weekend. As with most on-the-nose satire wrt the stupidity of human culture, we've already far exceeded its reach to the point where it seems a rather droll and reasonable idea for a movie now.

Idiocracy is already like...lol, Mike Judge thought it would take us a whole 100 years to get there? Come on.

Idiocracy sucks. Have you seen it recently? Extremely dated, such a product of the Bush 43 years - the whole thing is an implicit endorsement of eugenics.

Oh good this argument

let's get back to the emoji movie

new board description

biggest complaint: my favorite emoji - 😜 - isn't in it.

Does dearest beloved 😭 make an appearance?

Or much-favoured 🐦?

xp yes! "Crying While Laughing" is shown being carried on a stretcher with a broken leg, unable to deviate from his assigned emotion of hysterical laughter & joy. it's horrifying

✔

imago - is that the Twitter bird? he makes a brief but very important appearance

🆒

i use coffee every day

brb gonna pitch coffee: the movie

― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Monday, July 31, 2017 10:09 AM (twenty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQUXoH6g97c

oh whoops missed old lunch's "coupon the movie" reference upthread

"yeah, and it was a movie!"

If you guys don't mind I'm just going to print out this thread and use it as the script for my 21st Century update of No Exit, thanks.

I would see Coupon: The Movie and Coffee: The Movie over almost any superhero movie any day.

"i saw the shit out of it!!!" - flappy bird

The Thread: The Movie

YO I would be front-fucking-row for The Thread Movie

well we've already had The Thread: The Podcast so how far off can we be, maybe we should start with a netflix series

flappy bird can be played by Seth Rogen

ew... no

i want to be played by the actual Flappy Bird

sorry but we've already shopped the treatment to multiple studios and the cast is locked in with point on the back end so ya burnt suck it up you are now fully owned IP

ok... i'll settle for Michael Cera

can i be played by udo kier pls

It'll have to be limited to threads for monetizable products, no new post-Fahey folk for instance.

is the thinking face emoji a character in this movie?

this guy - 🤔? no. i was disappointed that more emojis weren't featured or given lines

say what you want about the chainsmokers, but you gotta admit those boys know how to dress! pic.twitter.com/IC6V7qCMib

— Diplo (@_diplo_) July 30, 2017

this guy - 🤔? no. i was disappointed that more emojis weren't featured or given lines

― flappy bird, Monday, July 31, 2017 11:01 AM (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

f this film forever then

torn between reluctantly admiring flappy bird's oddly cogent defence of this piece of shit film, and wondering how someone who thinks this and an angry birds film were worth seeing every came across enough money to buy 2 movie tickets

hey now

It's interesting that they've come up with bits of actual plot riffing on the emojis. Stuck in textopolis. Have to be one emotion forever. Break out of this to find their true selves. Okay. I guess why it's so hard to get beyond the feeling of being spat on by movie execs is the combo of two kinds of cynicism: 'crank out yet another animated movie to get kid dollars' plus 'base the story around the cartoon pictures supplied with a smartphone'

Like re: smartphones it would not be a huge step to make a movie about some kids who are somehow shrunk down and trapped in their smartphone, or a movie about some kids who lose their smartphone and have to survive in a tent with their dog for a weekend and learn all about real life. Both of those movies would still be schmaltzy and cynical as fuck but the movie-making effort required to get to their level, from the level of the emoji movie, is so slight that it's absence creates the impression that we the viewing public are being viewed with contempt I guess.

the emoji "brand awareness" or whatever is the hook to shuck the same bullshit platitudes/plotlines they've always drawn on

I'm generally of the opinion that, in the right hands, a worthwhile story can be constructed around any subject.

Except emojis. Sorry.

this is gonna be the first movie in history where the inevitable porn parody ends up being better than the original, isn't it?

the movie is about being yourself and respecting others, i think that's a really valuable message

https://lparchive.org/Fallout-4/Smilies/emot-colbert.gif

xps Also somehow, bearing in mind that kid's movies (and tv shows and toys and everything else aimed at kids) are probably always hawking some reified grown-up thing, and this is always shady and sinister; bearing that in mind the attempt by this movie to sell children smartphones seems somehow more pernicious than C.S. Lewis attempting to sell them Anglicanism

The best way to be yourself is to communicate exclusively via the limited palette of emojis imo.

bearing that in mind the attempt by this movie to sell children smartphones

lol no, this is wrong, like i said upthread. the movie assumes everyone has a smartphone. there is no smartphone product placement. a shocking amount of young kids do. i graduated HS in 2011 and i think i'm part of the last generation to go thru primary school w/o a smartphone. i can't imagine what it's like now.

emojis are public domain. each OS has its own set of them. Facebook, Twitter, Spotify, Instagram, Dropbox, and YouTube are the only "products" that appear in the film, and like I said, these apps are so pervasive and in so many movies and advertisements already, it's not fair to say this is a movie hawking smartphones or social media. they're just part of life

I think that was a typo. The movie is trying to sell children TO smartphones. Soon all smartphones will have a child slave.

IIRC it was sometime around the dawn of man when emojis became just a regular ol' part of life, completely independent of any electronic platform one would have to buy in order to use them. It's really unfair to bind them inextricably from any kind of consumer product when really they are products of our imagination.

and i think i'm part of the last generation to go thru primary school w/o a smartphone. i can't imagine what it's like now.

kids are generally getting phones around the ages that they're expected to be responsible enough to, under various circumstances, be left alone - ie 10 or so. In my experience in my highly techified bubble.

flappy, I don't know how you can deny that these are product placements specifically designed to advertise these apps to kids. Not every kid is on all of these apps, and anyway, ads are not just for attracting new consumers. They're about reinforcing and normalizing consumption habits as well.

Don't know what you're talking about, Facebook and Instagram were part of a rich cultural tradition through centuries of human history before they became the crass brands of today.

flappy, you're like the platonic ideal of the audience Sony was trying to reach with their new film, The Emoji Movie. The 'what's the big deal about governmentally-mandated subdermal microchips, they're like friendship bracelets' demographic, if you will.

Old Lunch Yells at Cloud

Damn you guys really are taking quite a principled stand against the emoji movie in this Ilx thread, bravo

flappy, I don't know how you can deny that these are product placements specifically designed to advertise these apps to kids. Not every kid is on all of these apps, and anyway, ads are not just for attracting new consumers. They're about reinforcing and normalizing consumption habits as well.

It's hard to go to a movie theater, watch TV, or even read a newspaper without seeing icons for all of those apps. They are omnipresent. Every kid already knows what they are. Reinforcing and normalizing consumption habits? Perhaps... but again, this movie isn't advertising Ello, or some obscure app. A lot of these apps come pre-installed on phones. They're as much a part of everyday life as cable TV and screens and the Internet. the kid sitting behind me in the theater recognized every single app, already had familiarity with them, etc.

i can at least understand how a movie like Toy Story offers escapism to the audience, but Emoji? If there's as much part of everyday life, this just seems like a waste of time

no, that's my point! people hate The Emoji Movie because it's the complete opposite of escapism. it's an 86 minute look in the mirror of the world we live in, and it's often overwhelming and horrifying! and again, people loathe it based on the merits of the concept, not the movie itself, which like i said upthread, is not well executed.

Every kid already knows what they are.

wrong

as you are about such a great many things

most kids

i love that flappy bird's defence of the movie also acknowledges completely that it is terrible

terrible in what way? i already wrote about how it's not well executed, but the concept is great, there are moments of greatness, but it's squandered. i think the vast majority of critics and people are criticizing it for the wrong reasons: that it's bad for society, a signal of downfall, extremely cynical.

wrong

thank you, Mr. President

Coming soon to the Criterion Collection:

The Emoji Movie
Tony Leondis

Disc Features:
- Gag reel
- Deleted scenes compiled by Eric Siegel
- Storyboards and production design drawings
- Analyses of the special effects by editor William J. Caparella
- Suicide note by T. J. Miller
- Trailer, teaser, and television spots
- The Aerosmith music video “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”
PLUS: A booklet featuring essays by internet user flappy bird, a piece by King Digital Entertainment plc on the restoration and ROI, and a printout of the now famous emoji movie ilx thread

i think the vast majority of critics and people are criticizing it for the wrong reasons: that it's bad for society, a signal of downfall, extremely cynical.

― flappy bird, Tuesday, August 1, 2017 2:02 PM (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Sad!

In which Sir PAtrick Stewart, knight of the british empire, plays the role of a pile of shit

lol at tj miller suicide note

It's just the idea that anyone could argue with a straight face that this thing isn't pure undiluted commodification from top to bottom is a little (eyes bugging out emoji). Any 'just be yourself and respect others!' plot finery is just window dressing.

And I'll shout at a damn cloud all damn day if the thing is branded with a damn Twitter logo. Damn it.

Old Lunch Tweets at Cloud

i cannot believe you guys are either (a) letting flappy bird troll you like this for dozens of posts or (b) engaging with a sincere flappy bird on this obviously terrible movie which he loves for whatever reason.

I'm eating sweet and sour chicken

well that i approve of

I just had a sandwich. Maybe I should photograph it and see if it goes 'viral'. Hey, I know, maybe I should make a movie about the photographs people take of their food and what if they had personalities and interacted and expressed their feelings like, I wish I was real food so someone could eat me, and the main character is voiced by Avril Levigne and she sings a song about self-acceptance or bullying or bulimia or something, I dunno. There definitely needs to be breakdancing and fidget spinners (the latter so as to set up the animated fidget spinner movie offshoot franchise).

Dr. C, I'd be ranting about this like a sad old fart even if no one was around to witness it.

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/emoji_movie_reviews.png

The ever-insightful Randall Munroe

I assume Wreck-It Ralph 2 will make some kind of allusion to this movie in dialogue or perhaps as a sight gag

wtf was the point of that xkcd comic

Yeah dunno, not exactly one of his best

pretty good microcosm of xkcd as a whole though, "I can't figure out which of these labored and shitty jokes is the best so I'll just shoehorn all of them in"

wtf was the point of that xkcd comic

got to admit i kinda want to see this movie. the amount of hate it is getting is too interesting to ignore. also the voice acting cast list is decent and there is no Seth Rogen James Franco Apatow thing so it has that going for it.

lol at the responses this movie got, that's it just product, as if every other movie coming out isn't Spiderman 18.

:) i hope you like it

The Emoji Movie. pic.twitter.com/JcNkr2fUMz

— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) October 18, 2017

nbd just seeing a movie with your ex and their fiance and kids, probably gonna be a great time

where is "I wish you had committed suicide" emoji

why does she take that out on the movie itself

why were you reading the emoji movie thread

:/

^^^ a typical senior citizen in Textopolis

Don't think I ever shared this piece I wrote about the movie:
http://baltimore-art.com/2018/09/09/no-words-all-smiles-the-emoji-movie-is-a-mirror-on-our-own-world/

I watched half of this movie with a young family member -- their choice. I was surprised at how bad it was. I have sat through unpromising fare like Trolls and The Boss Baby and they've turned out to have their merits. There is wiggle room for creativity and humor in animated movies that live-action blockbusters aren't getting today. How Sony managed to make such an unpleasant one is beyond me.

i enjoyed that piece flappy

i was in odd circumstances when i watched the movie but i didn't hate it and tbh i don't think it's any worse than most of the ocean of semi-lazy cartoon movies this century

I refuse to believe that the boss baby had its merits.

well he became boss SOMEhow

stupid concept, but they managed to squeeze in some good jokes

couple nights back, Colbert used Emoji Movie as a punchline for some reason

just read your piece on the emoji movie and enjoyed it, flappy bird

NV and treeship! thank you! how ya doin treesh

is this getting a franchise

that would be hard given that they all died at the end

💀💀💀💀💀

Shouldn't have hit the backspace key

On January 13, 2018, Saudi Arabia lifted a 35-year ban on movie theaters. This was the first movie publicly shown in the country. It played at a film festival in Jeddah, as a double feature with Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017).

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the one person who didn't find this interesting must have made the competing "Emoticon Epic"