Getting To Know You (Part 492)

* I was deeply attached to a little blanket with a cartoon of a squirrel on it when I was young.

* The first book I specifically remember ever reading was Small Pig.

* There's a bruise on my left knee from third grade that has never gone away to this day.

* For a very long time, I wanted to be an astronomer.

2. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not the nicest guy.

3. I saw Karate Kid 4.5 times in the theaters.

4. Like Ned, I have a wound from my youth: a small scar in my mouth from when I crashed face first into the pavement from my bike when I was 8.

• Though I approve of pro-pop attitude in general, the knee-jerk ILM attitude annoys the fucking bejeesus out of me.
  
• Though I've never exhibited much musical talent, and probably don't have the dedication to become a proper musician, I will sooner or later buy a Bass and start learning it.
  
• I have kissed two girls ever, for about three hours each.
  
• I've never broken a bone.
  

2/ I still make up games to get me through doing housework etc.

3/ There is a picture of the Sex Pistols at the club my Grandad owned in England's Dreaming. An almost identical pic is in my Grandmother's photo album.

4/ I haven't eaten at a Mac Donalds for over a year.

(God, mine are so mundane!)

2) I have the same birthday as Billy Idol, Mark Twain, Dick Clark, Winston Churchill, and Robert Guillaume.

3) I'm not a very good guitarist, but I'm getting better. Someone told me my playing is like a cross between Lou Reed and Carrie Brownstein. I can see that being an insult, but I take it as a compliment.

4) I am fully ready, at this juncture in my life, to dive headfirst into the recorded works of the Bobby Fuller Four.

2. I used to be a boyscout which even my dad admits was a "bullshit" idea.

3. I have twice fantasized about killing somebody with a pair of scissors, once in second grade and once in gloomy high school. I even wrote a song about it.

4. I used to rap and wrote a track dissing Asian American pop culture which was widely spread during the Napster era.

2- When I was young, I'd tell my little sister, "No, I can't play with you. I'm busy playing in my head." (a sign of later insanity, perhaps?)

3- I went to a boarding school to study ballet for my sophomore year in high school.

4- I have a scar from my belly button ring ripping out.

2) My great grandfather founded the Connecticut branch of the American Temperance Society.

3) I used to work in the test kitchen at Food and Wine magazine. I wish I'd paid more attention. All I did was eat the test recipes, comment, and then clean up.

4) I went to Elvis' old house in Beverly Hills once. It was the middle of the night, I got drunk and jumped in the pool It had a slide!

2. i once escaped from a cop car.

3. my mom used to babysit danny bonaduce of partridge family and celebrity boxing fame.

4. i have lived in both towns where the original "blob" was filmed.

1- I alternate between twee and bitter.

2-I have headaches way too much.

3-I'm gonna be one of the kids reprezenting Portugal in Straussbourg for a "youth of the European Union" shebang; I bought discs by Air, Serge Gainsbourg and Francoise Hardy to celebrate this.

4-There's no McDonalds, Burger King or Starbucks anywhere in my vinicity.

* I was once in a car accident back in high school where the car I was riding in flipped over 3 times. I did not have any serious injuries but I had felt for a few days something was on/in the top of my head. A week later as I was washing my hair a chunk of glass about the size of a six shooter bullet fell into my hand. My mother told me that the doctor said to keep it there tell it came out naturally to speed up the wounds healing.

* I am not allergic to anchovies or fish, but I an extremely allergic to fish sauce. It makes me swell up and I have to go to the emergency room if I ingest a tiny ammount.

* Valentines Day is my unluckly day. I've had a house burn completely to the ground, a pregnancy scare that thankfully wasn't mine and a doctor telling the mother of a 15 year old brg30 that he may have an STD.Her response "If you do I'll cut it off" Final diagnosis:urinary tract infection.

2. My brother Jacob died when I was ten. He was 15 months old.

3. I never attended college.

4. I have never kissed a man.

* i am a chronic day-dreamer and often cant recall how i got somewhere because i have been 'somewhere else' the whole way there. ( and im usually driving which is scarey )

* i annoyed my father so much he paid the bond on a flat so i could move out when i was 17.

* i only swore once during labour and it was at my midwife when she kept eating all my dark chocolate.

- I own a neon-pink copy of Writings and Drawings by Bob Dylan nicknamed 'Sticky Bob'.

- I used to play piano pretty well until my teens, and even though I haven't been near one in years I still secretly believe one day I'll grow up to be Nina Simone or Thelonious Monk.

- I really, really want to learn to pot.

When I was in middle school I took riding lessons and was so good that my instructor was thinking of buying a horse specifically for me to train and show. But then I entered high school and gave it up due to lack of time.

I have a tiny scar next to my mouth -- apparently as a toddler I was so impatient to try to walk that I tumbled down the staircase, during which a baby tooth pierced my cheek.

Jim Rose once tried to recruit me for a "Biggest Bra in DC" contest (which I probably would have won) by saying "You got a balcony I could do Shakespeare on!"

*As a child I used to collect and compare street directories, and read encyclopaedias with feverish enthusiasm

*I am a closet luddite

*I learnt the piano for 7 years and the saxophone for 3, and can no longer play either with any competence.

2. I have given my autograph to Brett Anderson and Richey Manic, among others.

3. I have had sex for money. Pre-1995, by the way.

4. I am drunk just now, after a perfect evening.

2) In elementary school, during some Easter break, I broke the pinky finger on my left hand while playing Nerf Basketball. (Going up for a rebound, my hand was pinned against the door by my opponent; bone popped out of socket all clean like.) I didn't notice for 30 minutes (at least).

3) In 4th Grade, I won a chance to compete in the town Spelling Bee by spelling "worm" correctly after my worthy opponent forgot how to spell it. At the Spelling Bee, I was disqualified after spelling "colonial" C-O-N-A-T-I-O-N.

4) I shaved my head in college - my floormates offered $20 and a case of beer, and even though they were lying, and even though I knew they were lying, I did it anyway. That was 9 years ago. (The hair grew back, by the way.) (Please also note that stoned girls like to palm and caress cleanly shaved heads.)

Not just stoned ones, in my experience. Mmmmm

no, this is surreal!

(i too lost at the regional spelling bee, in the 4th grade, by misspelling "heighten." don't remember where i went wrong, but i think i was, uh, pretty close...)

2. In terms of kissing osmosis, I am less than 3 degrees of seperation from Bruce Willis and Traci Lords (and not through the same person).

3. My head is so enormous that I cannot wear a hat that has not been special-ordered.

4. My father appeared on an episode of "Suspense" with Piper Laurie.

• My great great uncle was captain of Oxford City football club.
  
• My grandfather was a national sprint champion.
  
• My father's fastest marathon time is 2hrs40
  
• I haven't done any form of exercise at all for about two months.
  

• I shake my Jelly at every chance
• When I quit with my hips you slip into a trance
• I'm hoping you can handle all this jelly that I have
• Now let's cut a rug while just get some jazz.
  

-i've never been to a hospital, even to be born
-there is an american university bearing my first and last names
-i love olive oil
-i tend to like very few movies

- I was born with a cleft palate.

- I went to a Steiner school and performed around Europe with a Eurythmy group.

- My mother and stepfather are both deaf.

The only band I've ever been in was called The Guntzheads, and I was 10.

When I was on CNN the other week I had a stuffed toy rabbit in my pocket.

I havent listened to the album Freaky Trigger since naming my website after it.

The most expensive round of drinks I ever bought came to £60.

on your palms? eeuuugghh.

I once played Dracula in a school play

I once carried out an audit at a gravel pit

I once stole a bottle of tabasco sauce from a restaurant by stuffing it down my sock

YES IT'S TRUE! :)

* On Valentine's Day in seventh grade, my ex-boyfriend came up to me in front of all my friends and apologized for being such a big jerk. He gave me this huge heart-shaped box. Everyone wanted me to open it so that they could have some chocolate, but inside I found only a paper heart with holes all in it and 2 guilty push-pins.

* I went to four high schools in four years.

* I once sat next to Sara Gilbert in a train station.

Oh! That is all!

Who is Sara Gilbert?

2. I flew loop the loop in an aircraft two weeks ago.

3. I lived on a farm from ages 4 to 9.

4. I am nice to children and other small mammals.

Dos: I have the hairiest forearms for a fair haired person in the western world

Tres: I've been quoted in the New York Times

Quatro: I resist travelling through long tunnels due to my intense claustrophobia

2. I can pretend to speak Spanish.

3. I know someone who draws semi-naked pictures of morten harket.

4. My great-grandmother was friends with Babe Ruth and we have a letter from him somewhere in my grandparents house.

6. I know all the words to "It Doesn't Matter Anymore" by Buddy Holly because my mum sang it to me every night for the first 4 years of my life.

7. I was at least partly responsible for the initiation of Jane Horrocks' relationship with the father of her children, and at least partly responsible for the break-up of Emilia Fox and the love of her life.

8. I have had at least two ILXors in my bed in the last month, and not touched either of them. Except when they were asleep (joke).

2. Last month I failed my driving test cos I backed into a tree. The car was undamaged. I felt like telling the instructor he could walk back to the centre himself cos I didn't want to pay for the petrol.

3. I am allergic to penicillin, and I may have just spelled it wrong.

4. When I was 5 I had a goldfish called Bob, one day I came home from school and he was dead, there was noone home later that day so I buried him in the garden, then told my parents and wrote his name on a brick with magic marker and put the brick on the spot where he was buried.

2. I once called over to my 80+ grandparents house and caught them snogging on their couch.

3. I like Status Quo

4. I once ran away from some friends cos they dialled 666 from a phonebox.

Cue "Surrender"

§ I hate rhubarb and grapefruit.

§ In 1968 I was interviewed in the Bognor Regis Post.

§ People occasionally mistake me for a priest.

* I had a cat called Snoop Doggy Dog but he was run over by a truck

* I am currently wearing very large headphones

* Thirteen by Big Star is my favourite song evah!

§ The last thing I was undeniably great at was high school debate. my first year, my partner and I won every meet we attended up until the state championships.

§ I'm bothered by the fact that a person can never experience being another person. It's convenient to pretend we're all experiencing reality in roughly the same way, but I'm worried that isn't true at all.

§ When I was nine I thought Republicans seemed really cool.

2. My pony league baseball coach was Pittsburgh Pirates closer Mike Williams.

3. The first song I ever wrote was called "I'm a Guy Who Likes Potatoes." I was 8.

4. One of my roommates is a porn cartoonist.

2)I'm allergic to scallops.

3)I've posed nude for an art class.

4)I have a facial scar that runs through my cheek, eyebrow and eyelid. I was sewn up so well you can barely see it.

2. I am not gay.

3. I used to like the Stereophonics before I learnt better

4. I am really not gay, honestly.

5. I can't count.

The same thing happens to my husband in spite of the fact that he doesn't sit at the back over the engine -- he refers to such events as "bus boners".

He's not gay.

Honest.

(A strange thing to grab me on a thread of surprising things)

2. When I was fifteen I co-wrote/directed a Hollywood-style 'update' of Bertolt Brecht's 'The Threepenny Opera' called (cough) 'Twisting The Knife', with new songs as well as old standards. I am the next Tim Rice.

3. I have vitiligo, which makes me hide from the light of day, and somewhat sympathetic to Michael Jackson.

4. In my time away from ILX I am heavily involved in student politics - I am currently the Vice-President (Education) of the Law Students' Society, for which I just received a box of totally useless business cards. The other week an extremely good-looking year fifth-year student who I could develop a crush on if I'm not careful (must remember that i am in a relationship!) came up out of the blue and shook my hand for (as he somewhat drunkenly put it) "injecting a bit of ethics and rock'n'roll into the LSS". I had no idea what he meant, so I just nodded in an incoherent and starstruck manner.

Now that's damn cool. :-)

I am currently the Vice-President (Education) of the Law Students' Society

Time to kill the president and launch a coup.

* Like Tim, I was born close to three months prematurely. Apparently the whole of me could fit inside my dad's open hand.

*I've never had a real 'clock in, clock out' job.

*Of the drivers on ILX, I've probably got the worst sense of direction
when piloting an automobile.

*Without trying, I've probably got a over a decade (about 1981 to 1998) of MAD magazine articles memorized.

*My name isn't Dave, it's Mitch.

*Actually, there aren't ten interesting things about Mitch Lastnamewithheld.

are you a descendent of both louis riel and the defranco family?!

Me too, on both counts. I like to blame this for everything that's gone wrong with my life, claiming that everything else stems from me being stunted, deformed and stupid because of being born before fully developed, but if you and Tim were the same I'll have to find a new scapegoat. Sigh.

There aren't any things about me you don't know either. I haven't yet decided whether this is because I have such an embarrassing habit of telling online acquaintances more than they could possibly want to know or just because I haven't done anything interesting ever.

If it helps any Rebecca, my lungs are totally fucked up as a result.

(I am not very articulate this evening, or ever, but :( all the same.)

2. My greatgreatgrandfather was knocked dead by a horse on Graciosa Island.

3. I just saw Wynonna in person. There were sparkles in her colossal bangs.

4. I am here because I am currently unemployed.

5. If I could be anybody else right now I would be Wynonna.

** I paint with things like floggers and featherdusters.

*** My middle name is Walker, which everyone assumes is a family name but is actually taken from a Brad Pitt character.

**** Behind me and to my left is a painting on black velvet of Jesus. Hanging from the frame are a dozen strands of Mardi Gras beads I forgot to take down.

• I have never been on a aeroplane.
• I have a twin brother [non-identical]. I am the older one, by 8 minutes.
• I have made over two grand from writing sharware software for Psion organisers
• I have had my hair cut twice in the last two years, if not longer.

And Tim, has your songwriting career continued? (you should collaborate with Cacophonix ;)

2) I am bored silly by math but am actively trying to learn to enjoy it (I'm going to end up learning a lot of it, might as well like it).

3) Someday I want to hike the Appalachian Trail, but I doubt I will.

4) The only illegal drug I would have any interest in taking at all is opium because it is old-fashioned and melodramatically romantic; up to now I haven't used any, not counting alcohol in small amounts.

2. when i was a baby, the only thing that would make me successfully fall asleep was the sound of a dripping tap. my parents even recorded the sound on tape to use if they got tired of standing around in the kitchen waiting for me to fall asleep.

3. i have a twin sister - we either look totally different or totally the same, depending on who you ask.

4. when i was 4, i accidentally split my sister's head open by pushing her down the concrete stairwell of our apartment building in a laundry basket. we thought it would be fun "ride".

2) For my entire life, I have felt younger than I actually am, even when I'm feeling particularly old and crotchety.

3) I read "Infinite Jest."

4) I have a strawberry birthmark just below my right wrist -- at least, I assume it's a birthmark. I can't remember when it first appeared, and I occasionally get paranoid that it's some form of melanoma.

5) Despite the fact that I am generally socialist and vote almost exclusively for Democrats, Greens and left-wing independents, I am currently a registered Republican. Don't ask.

2) i got in deep disciplinary trouble when i was an undergrad after running a 24-hour humor telethon on public-access tv that went way, er, out of hand.

3) i spent an entire summer once trying to synthesize some new molecule that looked really stupid and was so highly strained that it could only exist for a millisecond so that the professor i was working for could win some "weirdest-looking molecule" contest.

4) i stopped eating meat when i was six after eating a hot dog for the first time

5) my front teeth were replaced, with thousands of dollars' worth of dental surgery, after i knocked them out in a bike accident. no one can tell, though. at the time of the surgery i tried to convince my dental surgeon that it would be way cool if he put gold front teeth in, but thankfully he convinced me that it would be a bad idea

I was born 2 months LATE. And they had to CUT ME OUT because I still wouldn't come out. This is why when my mom tells her sob story about how I should be nice to her because she gave me life, I tell her that I very obviously didn't want it.

I've gone on a date with Jake Plummer of the Arizona Cardinals. He's an ass and I hate him.

I've never cried at anyone's death, but I have cried at commercials.

I am still in love with my mentally unbalanced ex.

but i am honestly convinced people who think we look alike only think so because we are relatively the same height and build, and SOUND the same.

(haha in fact I was adopted, so who knows? Except the facts I do know about my parentage - unmarried student nurse mother, married surgeon father - don't fit with any relatives of hers anyway.)

1. I have a scar on my upper thigh from where I fell into a zopiclone induced sleep with a hot water bottle.
2. I really love maps and atlases and like to read them before I go to bed.
3. I nearly got married when I was 18. Went as far as booking the register office and everything. Called it off when I realised the reality was not a patch on the dream.
4. I sometimes dress up in my best clothes for no reason, other than to see what I look like.

Yeah, he told me.

b - about 5 years ago two huge freckles appeared on my lips, one on the top and one on the bottom, I've had them checked out, they aren't dangerous. They offered to laser them off but I don't see the point, although it does bug me that people often point them out thinking it's the remnants of my dinner!

c - I got my right nipple pierced for my 24th b'day

d - I once went a month eating only Jacobs cream crackers and After Eight mints, it's now known as my geometric phase

that's rock. i never known anyone to have their nose cut in half before.

1. When I was a child I was obsessed with all things terry-cloth.
2. I've had a nervous breakdown at 18.
3. I was in a breakdance troupe called the Body Breakers when I was 12
4. I have the same baseball glove I've had since my dad bought it for me when I was 7. Its 21 years old.
5. Its an Ozzie Smith

5. In sixth grade I landed a chorus part in the high school production of Bye Bye Birdie because I could sing as low as the other male castmembers. Actually, my range was so low, I could sing as low as my 30 year-old male music teacher (who was pretty much my only friend then, too - he liked the Smiths and all kinds of good stuff) (no he wasn't gay).
6. I lost my virginity at 19, in the bottom bunk of my bunkbed in my bedroom in Louisville, Kentucky (the bunkbed is gone now). It was 5 in the evening, and my entire family was home. My girlfriend at the time and I were listening to Joao Gilberto.
7. I once got thrown out of a Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 show for being underage - TWICE, and still made it back in the venue in time to see them play.

I don't like Guiness, but I always try it again anyway thinking that maybe someday I will. (I never do).

I broke my left arm rollerskating when I was 8. Since then, I've broken my nose, 3 of the toes of my left foot, my left wrist, my left ankle and 2 fingers. It is apparently dangerous to be my left side.

When I was 19 and living in Colorado, I did a voice-over for a tv commercial I thought was a dating service and turned out to be a phone-sex hotline. My mom was so proud.

(And I thought that was a dating service? I must have been on crack).

2 I have a good-sized scar right in the middle of my upper lip from where I was hit in the face with a large sheet of plywood that fell about 10 feet from a poorly-built treehouse while I was looking straight up at it.

3 I got two bachelors degrees at the same time while I was in college. A BA in theatre and a BS in computer engineering.

4 I bought my first guitar in May 1993 when I was almost 19, taught myself to play it over that summer and started a band in November.

5 I got a tattoo of a cup of coffee on my left forearm about four years before I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (in addition to a previous diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder) and advised to cut down considerably or stop drinking coffee altogether.

6 I am hopelessly romantic.

* in first grade, this one boy used to like to chase me around and try to kiss me when we were all out at recess. one day, i got sick of it and bashed him over the head with my metal Gremlins lunchbox. he got concussed, and my mom did get told about it, but not much else was done. i suspect it's because my teacher didn't like him anyway, which is normally something i'd feel more solidarity with, but he used to like to pick his nose and eat it and/or wipe it on other people, so it was difficult to feel sympathy for him. :) the lunchbox was dented but otherwise fine.

* the only people i am friends with from my high school years are people with whom i never actually went to school.

* i once sliced my leg open in a rather long and deep gash by running into a fence outside my grammar school. i didn't even realise i was bleeding until someone pointed it out to me, thus causing me to look down. i then actually had to think about whether or not to tell my teacher (who was a sub that day); he nearly fainted when he looked at it and then practically frogmarched me into the principal's office, where the principal proceeded to pour bottles of peroxide over it. my mom got called, but she said i'd be fine without her, and so i got to spend the remainder of the afternoon on a cot in the (nonexistent) nurse's office. there's now only the teeniest of scars, which can only be seen from a certain angle and very, very close to the leg it's on.

2) When the first President Bush used my high school as a place to give a speech while running for re-election, school officials were instructed by the Secret Service not to let me attend. (And I didn't, despite being curious what would happen if I did.)

3) My second trip to the emergency room happened because I was bitten by an ant who had crawled through toxic waste; I complained about the lack of subsequent radioactive ant powers (the first trip was because my mother locked my finger in the car door, and I happened to be attached to said finger).

4) I updated my web page last night. (Okay, I couldn't think of a fourth. But you didn't know that, DID YOU?)

I figure the Secret Service errs on the side of safety.

(The funny thing, though, is that I wasn't even in school the week this happened, so several people called me from the payphone to say, "Uh, dude, the Secret Service are asking us about you."

I think yours is the coolest high school story ever, btw.

Laser beams, too.

...

Okay, that would be wicked awesome. Nevermind.

Oh man, I can see it happening now.

Radioactive Peg-Legged Old Man bites me -- you know, as they do -- and I get all powered-up and shit. Lasers come out of my eyes. I'm all AIIIE IT'S BRIGHT LOOK AWAY! Cause, I mean, it's a laser. Right in front of my eye. That's worse than looking at the sun.

So I look away, and the laser moves cause it's COMING FROM MY EYES.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Next thing you know, I'm this laser-beam-eye guy with the proportional whatchawhoosis of a Peg-Legged Old Man, and I've just melted everybody in town.

... slightly LESS wicked awesome.

I'm still mad spiderman underwear doesn't come with superpowers.

wait, pep rallies like in the end of Heathers? i thought that was an exaggeration, not common US high school practice. no wonder you people are so messed up.

But if you take an electrical cord and snip it off near the plug and scrape some of the insulation off and twist the copper wires together and plug it into an outlet, bam -- there go the lights. Now you can go home and no one will notice.

Ah ... good times, good times.

1) I played trumpet in high school, but had to give it up because I had braces on my teeth and the trumpetplaying shredded my gums up
2) I am deathly afraid of getting things in my ears (water, fingers, insects, bud headphones, etc)
3) I can turn my right foot round 180 degrees so it looks like my leg's on backwards. I then walk around like this. Its a great party trick.
4) I'm only 32, but underneath all my wacky red hairdye, my hair is almost entirely grey! :-(

- My name is not my name and I am not myself in a really complicated way.

- I committed at least three felonies before the age of 18 and was never brought to justice.

- I've got a very small patch of scalp upon which no hair grows, due to being bonked on the head with a large spoon by another child at the age of 5. It's invisible in day-to-day life, but sometimes those who cut my hair will notice it and make comment. The mother of that same child used to baby-sit my brother and I, and when it was nap time he (the spoon-bonking kid, not my brother), would take the top bunk and would wet the bed every time (what kind of kid wets the bed at nap time!?).

- I lived in: Minnesota, Ohio, Indiana, Oregon, Washington, Utah, New Jersey, and Colorado; all before the age of 11. No, my parents were not in the military, or else I probably would have gotten to see some much-more-interesting foreign lands.

2.  I was born two weeks late. I was supposed to be born on December 15, but ended up being born December 29. Eep.

3.  I had an article written up about me in high school because I had received a national academic award and I was the only one in my class to receive it. Big frame-up moment.

4.  I love to watch old commercials from videotapes my parents recorded in the early '80s. I will skip through the actual movie or miniseries to get straight to the commercials.

2. I took guitar lessons when I was 9 because I idolized my first cousin, who was in a heavy metal band. My last guitar instructor was the minor country music performer Jodi Harms.

3. I refused to shake the hand of an Osmond Brother at the State Fair when I was 13, embarrassing my mother.

4. In the 5th grade I drew a comic featuring the Ayatollah Khomeini as the star and suckered my school to pay for publishing it.

2. My godfather's cousin is General George Patton

3. I attended the launch of the last moon flight (Apollo 17) and the landing of the first Space Shuttle flight (STS-1)

4. I have been interviewed live on US national television (after the big Laguna Beach fire of 1993)

2. I had brain surgery when I was 10 as a result of falling off of a horse - some odd side-effects of the injury include: I had to learn to speak again and now process verbal language differently than most people; my hair went from being mousey brown and straight to being dark brown, thick, and curly after it was shaved-off; and I am terrified of being restrained.

3. I went on a sexual rampage at age 18, sleeping with as many men as I could over the period of two years - I still shudder to think about the stupid risks I took.

4. I love to watch baseball games, but don't have a favorite team or player or anything - and I only watch them muted, while playing blues, jazz, or bluegrass CDs.

5. I had a job, once, where we women in the accounting office were given pistols to keep in our desks and told to use the pistols if the bosses son attacked us.

6. At age 16 I seduced my mother's good friend, and then tormented him when he visited by rubbing against him, trapping him in hallways and such. And he was followed by a seduction of one of my professors.

I actually liked him (the one who was off-center) - we always got along well.

Which painted a picture of a very strange and terrible job.

It was a very strange and terrible job. Beyond belief.

2. My son (whose 4th b-day is Sunday) is gigantic. I got paranoid watching that movie where Robin Williams plays a 10 year old with some corny affliction, and called the doctor all worried. There's nothing wrong with him, but, when his height & weight are viewed on the average-height-weight-for-his-age charts, he's not just in the 99th percentile, he is off the charts. WAY off the charts. My friend Josh calls him Colossus. (He's like 3'4", 'bout 50 or 60 lbs. methinks.)

3. I'm now an ordained Reverend, and I'll get to perform at least 2 marriages this summer. One, in June: my sister and her mang. The other, in August: my friend that's the bassist in one of the bands my group plays shows with really often & his woman...and, if they get their way, the ceremony is going to take place ONSTAGE at one of our shared gigs. But if that's not enough, they're requesting that I RAP the ceremony. We'll see about that...

4. One of the worst pains I've ever experienced in my life came from a creme brulee of all things. I was torching the sugar on one at the restaurant I worked at, and turning the bowl so it wouldn't burn, some of the sugar dripped onto my arm. Sugar. On fire. Melting into my flesh. Kinda like napalm, supposedly.

2. I could read books when I was two years old. My mum didn't realise that this wasn't entirely normal, given that she'd really never been around any other children of that age.

3. I thought the world was fuzzy until I was about eight, as no-one ever thought to test my eyesight and realise I was shortsighted.

4. I had the opportunity to interview Bill Hicks for the university newspaper and let my friend do it instead as I was too scared I wouldn't do him justice.

-One of my cousins was a high-class hooker who once 'dated' Telly Savalas
-I don't really think about sex all the time, because my experience is minimalistic and I don't expect that to change anytime soon
-My IQ is supposed to be 126, so now you know why I'm so obviously thick compared to the average luminary
-I really FUCKING HATE football/soccer

- I have never harmed any other insects. Even flies I carefully captured in a glass, carried them outside, and set them free. There was however one kind of Firebug I didn't kill on sight: the albino Firebug. They were all red instead of red and black, and could only be found in the bark of lime trees.

- The summer after I decided not to kill any more Firebugs the garden suddenly crawled with them. Apparently they had raised production to cope with my killing sprees.

- To this day I do not drink beer because its taste reminds me of the smell of squashed Firebugs.

2) I've never been stung by a bee or wasp.

3) I was afraid to drive until I was 21 but since then I've driven all over the country by myself and drove a band in their 40-ft RV from TX to NY.

4) I have this little cartoon guy and a piece of this image tattooed on me.

1. I had encounters with two great Canadian Men of Letters (Richler and Gzowski) just before their deaths.
2. I have an aunt (by marriage, ie she married the brother of my father) who was the toast of Broadway very recently.
3. I am on first-name basis with an Elvis Tribute Artis who has recorded with the Jordanaires.
4. Despite the fact that I make about half my income as a music writer for a daily newspaper, I hardly ever go to shows anymore.

I've never slept with Ally before. You must be thinking of someone who looks exactly like me, a statement I've heard more than enough times in the past.

I've never slept with anyone before in my life (not even a real sleep-type "sleep"), although I did end up falling asleep at the house of a male friend of mine. It didn't count towards anything, though, because I slept on one couch and he slept on another couch. I have been kissed, however, and all of those kisses have been memorable ones (save for the first one, which was really awkward and clumsy and not good at all, but what the heck, I was only 18 at the time).

And I do still like Toto's "Africa", but only because it's such a great song to listen to while driving. It's such a breezy little ditty that makes driving just a little bit less stressful.

I don't think 126 is a "thicko" IQ. I think it's a nice, respectable IQ. Lord knows what my current IQ is; I only took an IQ test when I was either seven or eight and I don't remember what my IQ number was at the time.

Et voila. Moi. (correct me on that, please)

2; I have awards for public speaking, even though people have commented that they cannot tell if I am drunk or sober because I always slur.

3; When I was a child I had an imaginary friend named Robin, though I do not remember this at all (my parents/brothers take great pleasure in reminding me from time to time).

4; Quite a few people have told me that I am "the type of person who ought to be famous." I'm not sure what that means.

I have slept with someone. A number of times. But I only 'almost' had sex with them (that is so hard hard to explain I'm not going to try). So I consider myself virtually a virgin. Unless administering oral sex counts. Surely no one else on here can say that at such a decrepit age. I try to be proud of it. I'm not, really, but I try very hard.

I tried a few of those online sample questions for the Nation's IQ thing a couple of weeks ago, and I couldn't do most of them. Which makes me think my IQ has decreased since I took that other test (about six years ago), but I don't want to find out for sure.

I dreamt about ILE last night, which never happened before. Obviously due to 'my' thread and my embarrassing public strip tease. 50% of the subject lines had my name in it (or some variation thereof) and I was in a state of extreme panic. I can see the funny side. Just.

I saw my career counsellor for the fourth time on Tuesday and he said he found me very interesting and that I had 'lots to offer,' although he was unable to specify exactly what. At one point he said, 'Maybe you just want to meet Mr. Right and get married and have babies.' (He added there was 'nothing wrong' with that.) I found the idea utterly amusing and unlikely, really.

This posting almost says something about me, but I don't know what. I'm still not making dirty jokes or implying I'm crap.

2. When I was 5 I was knocked down by a van, I was fine and at 18 got compensated by the council, since it was a council van and shouldn't have been driving where it was at the time. I spent the money in about 3 months, somehow. It was a fun time.

3. Though I want to write about music for a living, I also could want to act, be on tv, do a radio show, be a politician, be a teacher, be a lecturer, write a book.

4. My doctor says he no longer believes I am allergic to penicillin, as per last time I did this thread, so hooray I can go and take some penicillin now.

- I have pretty bad sleep apnea, which means that I will spontaneously stop breathing in my sleep. Not only is it scary, but I have not had a good night's sleep since puberty. I'm going to have surgery to fix this.

- My grandfather made money during the '50s raising highly poisonous snakes and selling them to evangelical snake-handler Christians.

- Can't think of anything else, and have to go right now. Something else amazing will be posted later.

I used to play drums for my friend's band until I decided that I sucked, so now I sing for them instead.

When I was 5, I stole a pack of Fruit Stripe from KMart. I was never apprehended and remain at large.

I went to a small Catholic school in North Sydney for 5th grade - and I was the only girl in 5th grade in the entire school.

1. i almost drowned in a swimming pool when i was 9. consequently, i never learned how to swim.
2. like ned, i once wanted to be an astronomer. in fact, when i was 13 i saved up enough of my allowance to buy a cheap telescope.
3. my mother tells me that i had a bad case of pneumonia when i was an infant and that i almost died.
4. i never flew on an airplane until i was 22, and i never rode on Amtrak till last year.

1. my surname is made up. my real surname, translated from the czech, means "curlytop"
2. i haven't been to a movie for 6 years, but before that i was a film buff of sorts
3. i live 5 mins from the beach
4. when i was a kid i was a real scaredy cat

dos: my wife, back when we were dating and both in college, shoved her way in between me and an overly friendly mira sorvino and pulled me away.

tres: i once saw ice cube on seventh avenue in manhattan. we were walking in different directions. we made eye contact. we both nodded. we walked on.

cuatro: my father dated jane fonda.

i apparently run into famous people all the time on the streets and subways of NYC, and i am totally oblivious to it. i only know because people w/ whom i'm with point out, "oh, wasn't that so-and-so?"

(ps Nuedonym, everyone pisses him off, it's cool)

*i've never broken any bones but I did stretch all the ligaments in my right knee in a high school basketball game and they never healed tightly and now sometimes my knee locks into a 90-degree angle and won't straighten out for hours. the last time this happened was in memphis in front of a morning audience of about 150 schoolkids. it didn't unlock until lunchtime.
**i've only ever broken up with one person; all the rest broke up with me.
***about three or four times a year i stay up all night for no reason. just can't sleep. sometimes this helps me get some writing done, but most of the time i just bum around the house, a little dazed and euphoric, waiting for the sun to come up.
****i was the head-to-head haiku champion of north america in 1995.

2). I am unbreakable. I have fallen/been hit/thrown enough times in my life to break my neck five or six times, but I always seem to be able to get up and walk away with nary a scratch.

3). In two weeks I am going to Georgia to visit my girlfriend, Caitlin, who is waiting for the Department of Immigration to rescind her three year exclusion on getting a Student Visa.

4). I cannot stand to have more than a number three hair cut. I cannot abide too much hair.

5). I have been to school in Australia, England & Germany. I spent most of time at school in Germany hopelessly drunk. It was a blast.

2) I chased Paul Daniels down the street shouting "that's magic, come back you fucker"

3) I have done coke off an altar

4) I quite like Terry Pratchett books because they make me feel warm and fuzzy in a way that nothing other than scones, tea and plenty of jam will do.

2. I was deported from the UK once. I still have the papers which state that I am unacceptable to Her Majesty's Government.

3. I once chased a burglar out of my house with nothing but a fireplace poker and my undershorts.

4. I bicycle everwhere I can because I don't own a car and I hate driving with a fucking passion.

2. I am actually kind of annoyed with my cat Pepper right now because she keeps waking me up to get petted and cuddle when I'm trying to get my much-needed sleep. I kicked her out of the bedroom last night and she rammed her kitty body up against the door which made this really loud noise. She did this several times. It's like, all night she might as well have been screaming, "SARAH! It's me, Pepper! You accidentally shut me out of the bedroom! HEELOOOOO?>! CAN YOU HEAR ME in THERE??! Sarah?!"

3. I thought Hugh Jackman was dashing in Kate & Leopold.
http://www.visimag.com/filmreview/images/f140_cont_hugh.jpg
(oh wait! This isn't the things I'm ashamed of thread!)

4. I sing along in my car to basically everything, especially if I don't know the words. I just make them up as I go along. Or sometimes I'll try to make up a harmony.

2) My bmi is 17.36

3) I can, on occasion, be very rude without realising it.

4) I have a hangover.

x-post

2. When I was a kid, I drank from puddles. In my opinion the water didn't taste any worse than tap water. I tried to make my friends do it as well, but they didn't.

3. Several of my friends thought I was gay before they got to know me better.

4. My right testicle hangs lower than my left one.

2). Before I'm about to kiss somebody for the first time, I almost always think I'm going to vomit.

3). I hardly ever react with strong emotion in real life, but during films I'm like a firecracker: I laugh, cry, rage, skulk, sneer, etc. at every cue and instance.

4). I've only been 'really mad' twice in the past five years.

2) In 1995 I made a set of levels for Doom II which ended up in the holiday issue of PC Gamer magazine.

3) As a child i was so obsessed with ancient Egypt i bugged my parents to send me to a Summer class for it.

4) Edward Scissorhands makes me cry.

Confession time: this was not a "male friend of mine". It was actually the boyfriend of a female friend of mine, I *was* still in that other couch, and my friend and her boyfriend were sleeping in the nearby couch (it was about five feet away from the couch I was sleeping on). It was quite a nightmarish experience, actually, because it was such a dilapidated old house and I was (a.) freaked out because it had this off aroma and (b.) perpetually scared someone would try to shoot up the place or break in to murder every single one of us. (It was in a not-so-nice neighborhood.)

When I came back from the experience (I was with my female friend because I was supposed to be staying over at her dorm room), my mom told me she had experienced a strange feeling of panic throughout the night. When she mentioned when her chest tightened up, it synced [sp?] with the exact moment when I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown.

(This female friend and boyfriend are now married and have a child, BTW.)

This will be my first christmas away from my family and with my bf.

My favorite (and 1st) 45 single was by Diana Ross.

My first cat was named Cocoa. My dad and uncles used to tease him and say he was gay.