Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post on the "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here" thread - put them here

Do you even differentiate between what you post on the actual threads and what you put here? Is it just a random percentage? Is this so we can all have a look-see at the angel's share of your fine barrel-aged curmudgeonly predictableness?

Tom that is a beautifully written post I gotta say, seriously

Seconded. Best thread ever.

misère en abyme

It's actually just for posts you has second thoughts about posting to that one thread what's the issue here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiSKXxWgA4w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1Xsj9-3Pvo

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/theamericans/images/4/45/The_Americans.jpeg

l-r: me, Treesh

hahahah

both looking pretty good

yet to see evidence of first thought tbh

if you're going to make it obvious what you are subposting there is no pt to bumping the second thoughts thread just post it in the original thread

spontaneous beef is a rare commodity nowadays

most people are savvy enough to not run into beef when the opponent has more pieces attacking the beef square, as is usually the case. manoeuvring for an opportunity can be arduous and you have to have the full measure of the beefee before making the fateful move

Putting the beef t into posing

beeefffeee

as I'm sure we'll all find out

Oh wrong thread ffs fuck you dead search function

Do we know anyone else like that do we i think we do but do we hmm.

I forgot there was a "second thoughts about second thoughts thread" thread so I posted that here anyway.

The above is the text of a post I had second thoughts about posting to the second thoughts thread, in respect of a post I'd posted to the second thoughts thread in response to another post on the second thoughts thread. If only I'd posted my first response here both my subsequent post to the second thoughts thread and this post would not have been necessary and we'd all have saved some time.

It was about bannisters, and balustrades.

slippery slope huh

^watch-list!

Oh wrong thread again FFS, can we just lock this one

HIIIIIII-YA!

"I'm afraid that I was very, very drunk"? ;)

LJ hie thee to the cluiche cheannais thread btw

Can't even post it itt tbh

Can't believe an ilxor knows any of those obv

I never hied to the GAA thread

Became a Flann O'Brien fan instead, hope that'll do

The gaa is actually one of the pillars it's ok not to have grasped in order to fully get FOB I think.

But you really should his thee for other reasons

I was going to post something like 'I was going to post something like "I wonder what musicians have to do to get a good review on AMG" on the Weinstein thread but it's no joking matter' on the second thought about thread, but it's all too serious and I don't know what offends people anymore.

Otm

EASY NOW TYSON EASY NOW

We know of no spectacle as ridiculous

That age tbf

()

why can you say "they should be blinded" but not "they should be deafed"

deafened?

Soundly defeated

probably shd've said "they should be visually impaired"

Blound?

emblindened

blindicated

i

deocularized?

depercussionated

"shown the wonder"

Oh good you two have met

c3p0, r2d2 and bb8 are bad and you should all feel bad

otm

Can’t believe we had three whole weeks of respite. Truly a Christmas miracle.

not raving but droning (Noodle Vague)
Posted: January 7, 2018 at 7:31:23 AM
findeed.

bad and self-hateful hangover.

Take it to the Sunday thread dude

Guys can we

Like we did have

bad form

I laughed tbh

praying for a trump towering inferno

for sale: nice shoes, never complimented

379. Jhonny Cahs - Hrut
378. Daivd Bwoie - Balck Tsar
377. Lneorad Choen - U Wanitt Draker
376. Wrraen Zveon - Ejnoy Ervey Snadiwch

lil peep - save that shit

Have we a fourth one of these threads yet

seems a bit extravagant for people wanting to learn Mandarin

Your patience is testes but you must honore de balzac.

I bless Claude Rains down in Africa

https://i.imgur.com/D5r5LET.gif

all for the best in the best of all possible worlds

my way was funnier obviously

this is funny bcz the date is literally today and that proves that dril AND seth abramson (a) read the borad (b) post to it

would that it were so

You seem to have anger issues or something. Haven’t figured it out yet but maybe take a break?

he asked to be banned!

i disagree 100% with the characterisations itt and cannot in fact believe any of ye believe what ye are typing with any sincerity whatsoever.

this thread's gone to hell

I feel like Wittgenstein would have something to say about all this

David Foster Wallace's short story "The Depressed Person" is available online as a PDF.

scanners.gif

easiest fucking life ever jfc

it's kind of impressive the sheer variety of differently unhelpful ways to chime in

Neither the hardasses nor the enablers are being helpful because there is no help to be had here. Alright, tacet.

hey fa, is your name a godspeed reference, just got that for some reason..

who among us is not merely a comedy sock account these days tbrr

Under late capitalism we are all sockpuppets

we need a brexit to cleanse our socks and can then and only then don then afresh

dunno boutchoo but im a socketpup

and it's gonna be a long long time

but less funny

self-plamás is no-plamás

Let a thousand cacti bloom

Close enough

what are you guys going to do when yr celebrity bestie falters even a tiny bit

hi new poster esby

:D i just found this place googling for the blue nile and it's just so full of diverse + interesting people with whom i can't wait to share my thoughts about american politics! hi!

uh huh

nods

lol

like the cut of this jib tbh another twenty like this and we can start looking fwd to 2019

wait you are two *different posters*??????!!!??

so's yours, tbh

dunno boutchoo but im a socketpup

― F# A# (∞), Thursday, November 22, 2018 11:41 AM (three months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and it's gonna be a long long time

― sarahell, Thursday, November 22, 2018 11:57 AM (three months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

but less funny

― Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Thursday, November 22, 2018 12:21 PM (three months ago

ah here ffs

thats just how eyeroll.gif

a high bar

One night, many moon ago, me and friends, we go into bar and grill restaurant in Nashville Tenesee, famous home of music star Trace Atkins. We walk in, we sit down, we order a beers and basket of chicken's wings. Then, we see him. There on the patio, four table from us. We can't believe it. We can't believe whether or not is him.

I say to my friends "I believe is Trace Atkins, award winning country and western music singer. I will go to him, I will say hello." They say "yes, do this, reveal to us whether or not is really Trace." I have nervous, but I know I must do.

I stand and I walk to Trace. He is eating hamburger and french fries, drinking glass with beer, doing crossword puzzle all alone at table. I say "Excuse me sir, Trace Atkins?"

He says, "yes, I am Trace Atkins."

I say to him, "Mister Atkins sir I know you from your music. My friends and I. We know your face. We all know your songs, we all love your songs. You are so talent at music and you bring us much happiness, much joy. Is pleasure to eat near you Mister Atkins."

Trace say to me, "Thank you."

I say to him, "Mister Atkins. I see you enjoy hamburger, french fries, and beer. And I no wish to bother. But I have for you question. There is something I wish to know."

Trace say, "yes, go on."

I say, "is personal."

Trace say, "please, ask."

I say, "Trace Atkins, in your heart, do you have racisms?"

Trace wipe his mouth with napkin and put napkin down. He straighten his back. He look left, he look right. He look at me, he clear throat, and he say something I never forget. Ever.

"I have no racisms in my heart," says Trace.

"But," he say, "you think is beer in glass that I drink," says Trace Atkins, "but is not beer. Is pee. I love to drink pee."

Then, I knew the man was not really at all Trace Atkins.

Because the real Trace Atkins, he very much have in heart deep racisms. But he do not, ever, drink pee.

Xgauleiter.

why would you want ppl to not see that?

Maybe next time you'll make sure the Penguin is 18

Perhaps the likelihood of them seeing it is even higher now.

three!

Xgau Kreuzland

Etymology 2[edit]
From the acronym GAU (“worst-case scenario”).

Noun[edit]
Gau m (genitive Gaus or Gaues, plural Gaue)

(informal) an accident, a calamity quotations ▲

Roland Kopp-Wichmann, Depression ist für das Herz genauso schädlich wie Rauchen:
Außerdem neigen die Blutplättchen von depressiven Menschen eher dazu, sich zu Gerinnseln zusammenzuballen. Diese können irgendwann wichtige Adern verstopfen und einen Gau im Herzen oder Hirn auslösen.

I mean this thread is just boomers sniffing their own farts, isn’t it

Xgauleiter.

― pomenitul, Thursday, September 19, 2019 10:33 AM (one month ago)

lol

It awaits us all. Today's youth have apparently come up with a meme called 'the 30 year-old boomer'.

xp

Hopefully climate change will have killed us all before we’re laughing at the same two cunty jokes though!

For all your hate-read needs:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Boomerhumour/top/?t=all

i feel a recursion coming on

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.'

already there Friedrich, already there

There is a party/
Everyone is there/
Everyone will leave/
At exactly the same time

When this party's over/
It will start again/
Won't be any different/
Will be exactly the same

All part of my plan to prod ILM towards a takeover of ILX.

https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.782743727.5884/flat,1000x1000,075,f.u1.jpg

lol

Reminded of when something was taking ages and I was unsure whether it was me or SV who was holding up the process and my dad said “ye could have your own terror cell...ISISRA”

(this is a tasteless joke for any lurking spooks)

quite patently i adore toast and am joining deems in a hearty mock of the ukilx tea discourse

you patented toast???

patent toast is an English delicacy with a shiny black exterior

If you need to toast it…

I am not posting in this thread

^a technicality

good call imo

There is only one thread and its name is

"hope you unwrapped all your christmas presents carefully and didn't get any papercuts, since your thin skin tells me that you would have likely bled to death"

how early in the life of this thread did it become the "meet me on the playground" of ilx

Started at conception tbh.

The membrane of passivity is often stretched quite thin across a deep well of aggro.

http://media.aintitcool.com/media/uploads/2013/quint/overlookpic_large.jpg

"It's always been the playground"

it's amazing how no one understands the purpose of that thread (fully copping to how i have misunderstood the purpose of that thread in the past)

I mean it's a thread dedicated to the things that, irl, one generally knows better than to say or do and that rightly die in the mind without ever coming to fruition. It's an ever-growing cyst prone, inevitably, to popping messily at some point.

Maybe we can have Fred's evidence-based politics discussion, i.e. why sanctions on Iran and the Bolivian coup was good, for example, in here?

if you fuck up more threads i swear to god

https://pulpsongs.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/thic21.gif

^what is that?

It's from an episode of The Avengers, every time she walks down a passage it leads back to the same room.

Brad that thread was fucked up by design keep up

xyzzzz__ do u have a key on your keyboard that just says 'Fred' because if not you should look into getting one custom made, it might save u some time

that is amazingly sick set design xp

lol OL, repurposed though it may be, you still stole my joke.

xp
otm. I know we have a cinematography thread, do we have a sick set design one?

Lads, you can't argue in here! This is the 'Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post on the "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here" thread - put them here' room!

xp

Lol I hardly ever mention Fred. I am happy to talk set design.

Time for a 'Posts that were too argumentative for the 'Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post on the "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here" thread - put them here' thread - put them here' thread.

fb chat for that

Posts you had third or fourth thoughts about and decided not to post at all, including in this completely empty thread - don't put them here.

if an ilx beef threatens to take over a perfectly innocent thread you can politely direct people here.
if an ilx beef threatens to take over "if an ilx beef threatens to take over a perfectly innocent thread you can politely direct people here." you can direct people here.
if an ilx beef gets out of hand on the beef thread come here to look at trees
if beef on an ilx trees thread get out of hand, come here to look at beef
A thread we can go to when an ILX beef gets out of hand and we don't understand wtf is going on
"There's Only 100% Pure Beef in Our Beef"

lol i remember that

This thread has been locked by an administrator

Damn, what a punchline.

some classics there, pom, if you want to educate yrself re actual beeves

permitting Bernie non-supporters in the thread: mistake

can someone please post the whirlwind of beef i inhale it wendy's nas image?

I think we need to switch to Impossible Beeves. For our health, and for the planet.

here's yr thread, Fred and xyzzzzz

now gtfo

Post here when you want to shit on someone passive aggressively until they see it and start a fight with you ITT

Chill out a bit? No need for that. I suggest a nap.

you know, i've actually pushed back against ex-ilxors who've called you an asshole? once or twice

Oh please don’t ever do that again, but thanks anyway

ive gone up to non-ilxors and told them you were an asshole so it balances out man

Let's get back to talking about Iowa's cocks

mh to thread?

ws of shame thread you had second thoughts about bumping

Blessed are the peacemakers.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5e/St_Jude_Medical_pacemaker_with_ruler.jpg/1200px-St_Jude_Medical_pacemaker_with_ruler.jpg

Can’t believe people can’t just check out of life, stockpile and stay at home for two weeks when they have a runny nose, how unreasonable

proceeds the weedian

please fuck the fuck off you predictable loser

^full of surprises for 17 years

I do, and it’s been fairly obvious concern trolling for a while now...

im not touching that, and have tbh studiously not been touching it since this began (appropriately enough)

Glad there’s a positive to all this suffering!

^^^forgive me for reading the previous two posts in tandem, and in isolation

All posts should be read in isolation just to be safe

three feet distance between posts

Actual number of ILXors: non-lurkers multiplied by 27.

ban rate - 1%

Still higher than the seasonal flu's mortality rate tbf.

moratorium on bans?

nope, moratorium on posting. only essential posters can post

we really need a thread to determine who essential posters are

We already have one. Behind its Care Bear-ish veneer, it's the most brutal thread on ILX.

Rolling Jazz Thread is actually where we talk shit about you.

thread continuing to cover itself in glory I see

Berniebros just don't care about black voters (I supported Warren btw).

That’s a great look when there’s a lot of looking the other way at Biden’s sexual assault allegations. Truly, I beg, please continue.

did he die yet or what?

Captain Obvious on the good ship Pedant

I never called it krautrock! lol anyway try this one, same kinda style but came out more adventurous https://pimm.bandcamp.com/track/gh4k

will give that a listen. obv your track banged v hard

Small business owner hate = crypto-racism

i was very close to bringing up that "awkward fact" on the actual thread ...

like i literally was just thinking about small businesses and how so many owners are POC and immigrant POC

Everywhere in the world is America.

#onecountrythread

Also, Sund4r otm.

But, yes, it's another American thread, the rest of us best keep away.

I don't think POC-owned small businesses are unknown in the UK?

https://www.london.gov.uk/sites/default/files/gla_migrate_files_destination/asian_business_conference_report_3.pdf ?

I know.

Ha, just realized you were prob second-thoughting something.

I wasn't! I get what you're saying by the way about a lot of small business owners being POC, it's a good point, in the UK traditionally a lot of family run shops in particular.

ok i'll bite. i think that the bootstraps narrative / ideology that america upholds creates this situation where immigrants to america are often more american in ideology / identity than americans themselves. that's probably way too big of a statement. anyway my extremely limited experience with immigrants is that they tend to be driven in that bootstraps-y way. i mean just to get here basically demands that they be. which isn't incompatible with small business owner mentalities. i just don't trust that kind of personality / thinking. but i also don't think it's racist not to.

Everyone in the Guardian thread is busy discussing the horrible Tory restaurant owner who is basically your stereotype of the “nation of shopkeepers” writ large. Yeats wrote about shopkeepers fumbling in their greasy tills by candlelight in Ireland, where I’m from, as illustrative of a particular mentality (conservative, mean, unconcerned with the wider world) that still exists at home, and Marx wrote about the petit bourgeois and how their precarious status led to this kind of behaviour...but yes, people must have meant poc businesses.

That post of mine in full, please feel free to dissect it line by line with the same diligence given to *checks notes* ...wolf erotica?

lol I come from a long line of small business owners and I’m dying at the thought of stanning for them as a class?! Like I’ve worked for other small businesses and they absolutely do play the “sorry we can’t pay you more” tune while squeezing you for everything you’re worth...there’s no noble way to do wage theft.

there is the hate towards the budding Charlie Mullins stereotype of the small business owner in the UK. White tradesmen with tribal tattoos, not very bright but have strong opinions on immigration and the over-generous welfare state and think Thatcherism was great despite knowing nothing about Thatcherism. Which is a distinctly different sort of hate from the crypto-fash version sund4r is posting about.

Well insofar as they picked (with all the obvious caveats that word implies) the US over other countries, they were drawn to its purported values in the first place, whereas for most Americans it's a 'born, never asked'-type scenario. Ime Romanians who move to the US (and, frankly, Canada) are generally more entrepreneurial and goal-oriented than Romanians who emigrate to Western Europe. See also: French expats in English-speaking countries who loathe 'socialist' and 'bad-for-business' France with a passion.

2xp to map

i am pretty sure even recent yearly stats show US small business owners are still way majority white/male. Don't know about tribal tattoos.

it's interesting mentioning yeats in light of his own politics possibly affirming sund4r's contention that anti-business sentiment might be linked to feelings of bigotry

https://i.imgur.com/VDmBw2i.png

i'm agnostic on the question fwiw but it did strike me as an interesting wrinkle

Whereas, of course, the weirdly personal and repetitive nature of attacks on silby’s posts (which mine was a reply to) is completely above board and passes without comment.

it's interesting mentioning yeats in light of his own politics possibly affirming sund4r's contention that anti-business sentiment might be linked to feelings of bigotry

https://i.imgur.com/VDmBw2i.png

― Mordy, Thursday, July 9, 2020 2:04 PM (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

very flimsy.

xp - uh, gyac, your post is verging on concern trolling tbh -- i have interacted with silby on numerous threads outside of that one -- they have a shtick and a very open agenda/manifesto re politics. They know they do. Ogmor alluded to it, though disagreed with my response to it. It's a game. It's a persona. It would be a very different dynamic if I had posted personal criticism in response to a post that was personal in nature -- like someone sharing their actual experiences and being "vulnerable".

did you miss the day where silby was banned for repeatedly hurling abuse at Sanpaku in the outbreak thread every time he posted? granted....I understand it in that Sanpaku brings a lot of it on himself with the constant sharing of dubious information in the outbreak thread, so it's not like I'm a Sanpaku stan, but...silby isn't someone that's just collecting friendly fire. i don't dislike silby but you keep refusing to accept that there is a prior history that plays some of the beefing here that you just weren't privy to, instead suggesting it just doesn't exist and sarahell is just randomly picking on them.

for example, you and map and LL and a handful of others expressed your criticism of "small business owners" by talking about actual experiences you had, and mh brought up actual issues that are problematic ... I see those types of responses as good faith discussion, and I try not to get nasty in disagreeing with posters who are discussing things honestly and respectfully in good faith. silby wasn't doing that. if you can't see that difference or if that doesn't make a difference to you in how you respond to posters: like, it's a matter of whether someone is on your side or not vs. how they present themselves/their argument ... then idk ... we just don't ilx the same way.

i mean, at one point a few years ago a poster's significant other "forced" him to post that i was a nasty bitch because I made memes about his florid language and pastoral horse paintings ... so ... I have had plenty of shit hurled at me on this board over the years, and it takes a lot more to hurt me, than what you are accusing me of atm.

this argument is metastasizing i see

don't look at me!

his florid language and pastoral horse paintings

lol I have no idea who this is but it sounds awesome.

was thinking the same thing

It isn't silby?

You'd think that people would have had enough of silby love songs

of course it's not silby

I love the idea of pastoral horse paintings though

tee hee @ ymp

I look around me and I steeeeen
it isn't hoos

Pippa's Hoarse

for the record

I was going to moderate and nuance my post, then I reread the other thread and fuck it.

sexyhorsepics -- moderate and nuanced

okay that's just, like, wow, apparently we really hate normal people here

i know i do

No such thing as a normal person iirc.

are we talking about burt stanton here or what

i don't know who "burt stanton" is but he sounds like he could possibly be a normal person

very not normal

I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit

― burt_stanton, Friday, January 23, 2009 5:12 PM bookmarkflaglink

ʞuᴉlƃɐlɟʞɹɐɯʞooq (oƃɐ sǝʇnuᴉɯ oʍʇ-ʎʇuǝʍʇ) WԀ 8ㄣ:ㄥ 0ᄅ0ᄅ 'Ɛᄅ ʎlnſ 'ʎɐpsɹnɥ┴ '(ɔᴉs) ∀Zɹ ,uᴉddǝʇS ―

ǝuoz ǝɯᴉʇ ɹ∩O⅄ xᴉɟ

so tired of your bullshit tbh

I apologise for making the world round :(

how're some of you as old as you are without knowing a dangerous person when you meet one

listen, i guess i fuckin appreciate the "sometimes people bring out dark things in others" discourse, that makes me feel great personally, that i've had something dark and ugly brought out of me by witnessing someone's fucked up posts over a long period of time, but the major message i've gotten from this board over the past few days is:

crypto transmisogyny: totally cool
saying crypto transmisogyny isn't cool: HOW DARE YOU, also that wasn't crypto transmisogyny, it was the complete opposite, despite the poster continuing to post in ways that really resemble crypto transmisogyny
saying that someone might hold views that resemble regressive truscum bullshit: totally fucked up, what the hell, someone's gonna say "fuck" up in here

i'm furious and sad

enjoy your message board

Brad, I love your posts and want to be positive / supportive

but also I have tried to work out what has happened on ilx today for about ten minutes and still can't work it, sorry

Here you go:

self-isolating LGBTs of SPRING 2020

don't want to speak for Brad, but I also suspect a previous incident from months ago involving the same poster (that resulted in a threadban for said poster) is important context in this scenario

Here you go:

self-isolating LGBTs of SPRING 2020

― pomenitul, Wednesday, July 29, 2020 9:39 PM (thirty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yes, I have read the last day's posts on that thread, and have gone from thinking I had some basic knowledge of trans stuff to realizing I know near to nothing, suppose that's some sort of growth, still not going to allow myself an opinion until I know a lot more, that might be a while.
I do realize I am now kind of making this about me, and it is in no way about me, so will shut up.

have gone from thinking I had some basic knowledge of trans stuff to realizing I know near to nothing, suppose that's some sort of growth

You and me both.

All I can say is a hell of a lot seems to have happened in Branwell's life since I last met them.

Shit Brad, I'm sorry to hear how this is impacting you. I get the need to take a break sometimes, if you do end up taking one I sincerely hope it ends up not being a permanent one. The quality of posting on the ILM side of things would certainly be less without your contributions.

(x-post)

Maybe there's a lot that's happened, but there seems to be some repetition karma in Bramwell's life regarding thread engagement and resulting fall-out,

how're some of you as old as you are without knowing a dangerous person when you meet one

― all cats are beautiful (silby), Wednesday, July 29, 2020 10:56 AM (three hours ago)

pal, I have been scared as fuck of cops since before you were born, probably ... tbh I do appreciate that you stand up for other marginalized posters here on ilx, and your utopian idealism is not the worst thing ever

oh thanks

Who's dangerous?

*ahem*

No-one on ILX is dangerous, don't be silly, silby.

how could you possibly know that

Because I've met the person you're talking about. I think. I'm guessing here.

one thing about coming to ilx as a female-identified person, at least, in the first 10 or so years of ilx ... sexual harrassment and uh, solicitation, was definitely present and gross. Not to dismiss board problems for posters who have transitioned while on ilx, or have come to ilx more recently -- like, not trying to engage in competitive suffering at all -- also, there are other ways ilx has treated posters like garbage that isn't any less garbage-y than the way ilx treated women for long time. Just, putting it out there, in case you weren't aware of that history and how it frames the way some posters may view ilx in re gender.

OK, this person is not 'dangerous'.

I remember you (among others) talking about this and it crosses my mind whenever someone waxes nostalgic about ILX's 'glory days'.

xp

maybe i am generalizing -- maybe married women didn't get the same abusive / creepy treatment -- maybe because i am creepy i got treated like garbage by dudes -- who knows! I also have a few entertaining stories, and at least one of the creepy dudes later apologized and we are friends now.

maybe because i am creepy i got treated like garbage by dudes

You don't really mean this… at least I hope not.

sarahell is being mordant there

it's kinda a mindfuck the way this place has changed -- like idk Branwell has dealt with it much more intensively than I -- and there is a psychological thing where, when you are used to being attacked all the time (regardless of whether you were the instigator or not -- I don't want to cast myself as a victim), you end up getting defensive and assuming you are being attacked even when you aren't, so things become battles when they don't have to be

Maybe I would have more sympathy with the poster involved if they hadn't decided to throw what I thought was our friendship in a raging fire by sending me a viciously abusive message, for having the absolute temerity to warn them that they might be repeatedly misgendering someone.

sadly some people have a horrible history of being personally very nasty to people and they never apologise for it and that leads to them never getting the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe I would have more sympathy with the poster involved if they hadn't decided to throw what I thought was our friendship in a raging fire by sending me a viciously abusive message, for having the absolute temerity to warn them that they might be repeatedly misgendering someone.

― emil.y, Wednesday, July 29, 2020 3:21 PM (twenty minutes ago)

shocked, shocked etc

no I won't be glib, that's exactly the kind of behavior one learns to expect from this kind of person if you hang around them long enough.

i'm also super wary of pile-ons which is what this is starting to feel like, because I remember having that happen to me at one point --

but also, as a corollary to the "being used to being attacked thing" re ilx, for folx who are regularly attacked IRL because of their identity, where ilx is a safe(r) space for them, a well-intentioned post that seems similar to the IRL grossness is also likely to provoke that defensive response -- and if we want to be decent people, we should be sensitive to that.

needs to be both ways, sara

If you treat someone like shit they will treat you back the same way

and that's not aimed at any person.

that was meant in Brad's defense ... so idk what you are referring to?

also re DJP being weirded out about all the black metal threads being bumped

sadly some people have a horrible history of being personally very nasty to people and they never apologise for it and that leads to them never getting the benefit of the doubt.

Some people do actually suck, and are bad people to have around your clubhouse

No AFAB or AMAB on here please, just ACAB.

I do not like ice cream

Ice cream is good.

assigned cantaloupe at birth

I do not like ice cream

xp

I like to think mh was posting in bad faith.

if it wasn't for bad faith we'd have no faith at all

— quarantine idle (@smk73) July 31, 2020

I like to think mh was posting in bad faith.

are there people that are Assigned COPS at Birth??

https://academic.oup.com/nar/article-abstract/18/23/7177/2388940

Good old NAR

the haagen dazs with whiskey flavor -- is really fucking delicious

Extraaz is amazing, had it for the first time the other day.

really sad that three twins went out of business -- their cardamom was my fave

really fucked up but lol jfc

are you laughing at the discontinuation of my favorite ice cream, Florida Man????

Wow it’s so surprising to me that so many cis men post on ilx

we are your fathers and brothers, your neighbors, your fellow citizens, silby. we are many, but we are various. we contain multitudes.

I would suggest refraining from doing the “not all men” thing

struggling to figure out which thread this belongs to.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mise_en_abyme_(in_literature_and_other_media)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mise_en_abyme?wprov=sfti1

Unfortunately not literally.

Really glad I didn’t post anything flippant about noted author Adolf Hitler’s suicide now

i hate having crushes tbh

crushes suck. i am stating this as a fact.

It is not at all apparent whether there is or is not an intentional conversation taking place here.

i miss the hypothetical possibility of a crush tbh

same

Aching Desire For One True Love Separated By Fate Still No Match For A Good Porkin’ https://t.co/utsSI90si9 pic.twitter.com/X03fFw72wy

— The Onion (@TheOnion) August 6, 2020

The experience of a real crush in the moment is often, maybe even mainly, negative but I can’t help but rep for something so thoroughly unproductive

you know, it genuinely did not occur to me before, like, just now, how often the phrase "dysphoria" occurs in "infinite jest". i haven't revisited it since that one indeterminate year in the late 1990s i spent plowing through it while waiting for the bus.

in one sense it's not surprising that the concept of gender dysphoria comes up in infinite jest - goddamn near _everything_ comes up in infinite jest. it is a Novel About Everything. in another sense... it wasn't a concept i commonly came across in the 1990s. dfw talked about lots of things i had no idea about, like tennis, often through confusing and unexplained references, and in any case i had already decided definitively that i was Definitely Not Trans so whatever the hell he was talking about had no bearing on me whatsoever.

i wonder what i might find were i to choose to reread that book.

most of my memory of dfw, these days, comes from my much more recent (shortly after it came out) reading of "the pale king", which i found striking in how thoroughly and completely dfw failed to understand boredom, the topic he was allegedly writing a novel about. i mean, on par with black sabbath writing a song about clinical depression and calling it "paranoid", that level of complete misunderstanding.

I am overdue for a break for the internet but

Jeez is that all you guys think about

Really glad I didn’t post anything flippant about noted author Adolf Hitler’s suicide now

― Rishi don’t lose my voucher (wins), Thursday, August 6, 2020 1:44 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Been thinking about this a lot tbh

There's a difference between "a suicidal episode" and "persistent suicidal ideation", there's a difference between "a period of depression" and "chronic ongoing struggles with depression". I'd experienced the former of both examples here-and-there in my life, but the latter of both examples really started to set in hard-core about four years ago, escalating to become, rather awfully, a defining feature of my personality. (It goes without saying that there's a huge difference between killing oneself in a bunker after committing a genocide and losing a war, and succumbing to a long battle with suicidal depression, as dfw did.)

Considering that, after cancer, suicide is the #2 most prevalent death-by-illness in adults age 18-55 (North America and Europe), considering the stigma and lack of understanding about "what persistent ideation is like" amongst people who are either psychonormative or mentally-ill-in-other-ways, it feels like an impossible struggle to be understood or to receive the care one needs. Just now I had lunch with a friend and made a plan to go to the island this coming week, and despite the fact that it was made good-naturedly, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was a social favour-- this is how ideation colours your every moment.

Considering that "cancer jokes" are somewhat taboo, reserved for the most odious individuals who are afflicted with it (Rush Limbaugh)-- and the #1 cause of death in this same demographic is "accidents" (car crashes), and I don't think I've ever heard a good joke about a car crash-- it is disheartening to see people speak about suicidality in flippant ways, to not afford the same gravity and care to the affliction as they do other similarly dangerous afflictions. (Remembering, too, that many people with persistent suicidal ideation do live, to die of other causes, either because they are able to recover and/or they just struggle with it until death finds another way.)

A living god of a musician who struggles very, very hard with mental illness once surprised me with a request that she might reach out to me when she was in distress. "It's not the disorder that kills you," she said, "it's the loneliness." This entire statement is not an admonishment so much as a plea for understanding-- to understand that ideating individuals already feel so, so isolated, like a burden to everyone, and that flippant comments about those who've succumbed to this illness can exacerbate this feeling of isolating. (rushomancy's comment was very tame and I don't think anyone was pressed about it but it was nice that they addressed it, thank you rushomancy!)

I couldn't shake the feeling that this was a social favour-- this is how ideation colours your every moment.

otm ... this is my life tbh ... and why I spend so much of it doing things for other people, because I feel like I have no innate self-worth or appealing traits, thus, acting in a helpful, useful manner is what will "earn" me these social favors.

Yep. My favourite mode of socialization is having dinner parties. Part of my brain cannot shake that "people socializing with me" has to be coerced in some way, so I try and make that apparent "coercion" as pleasant for others as possible, by making people food. Even though I'm often reassured by my social circle that I'm "great at parties" and "a lot of fun", the feeling of social inadequacy persists, largely because of my struggles with mental illness and my worry that people are exhausted by these struggles-- which is, in certain cases, absolutely the case.

Thank you for sharing fgti.

It's a difficult thing. People with cancer are treated just as awkwardly as people with suicidal depression, there's misunderstanding, there's awkwardness around it. Met someone today and one of the first things they said was that they were getting chemo for stage IV cancer and do you think I had anything to say to that?

People back away from me if I talk too openly about suicide. Hell, complete honesty here, I back away from other people if they talk too openly about suicide. I've lost people to suicide. I don't blame them for what they did, I'm not angry at them. I'm proud of them for lasting as long as they did with what they had to live with. Knowing them is still in inspiration to me, still drives me. And it's been four years still hurts, hurts like fucking hell that they're gone, hurts like fucking hell what happened to them. I'm really afraid to lose anybody else like that.

For that matter I'm really afraid that even talking about it too directly could hurt somebody, could hurt somebody who's in a really vulnerable and fragile place, and that's a fear I push through, there's no safety when one is in that place, everything is a risk, and I don't know how to live without taking that risk sometimes.

I'm really afraid that the people who care about me might someday lose me like that. My reference to DFW's suicide... I wasn't coming from a place of flippancy, but from a place of weary over-familiarity. I know too well the crushing tedium of experiencing chronic suicidality, the sort of agony that makes time itself seem meaningless. It was this sort of depressive tedium that DFW, at some point, stopped being able to differentiate from mere boredom, to the point where he tried to write an entire book about what he took to be "boredom".

There are ways out, even if they're invisible a lot of the time, to a lot of us, even if it's mostly just blind fumbling. There are choices. A lot of them are crappy ones and there's no recognition, you know, for all the good choices we make. All of the times, all of the days, I've had to choose to not die that day... that's not a choice people who aren't suicidal have to ever make. My friend made that choice countless times in his life, beat the illness trying to take his life over and over and over again, and then one day, he couldn't, and nobody was there to give him the help and support he needed, the help and support he deserved, so he died. I don't count that as a personal failing of his.

These are helpful posts to read and I think we should take it to a more appropriate thread if this discussion is to continue! Thanks for your post rushomancy <3

I left a movie critic message board not too recently because a male poster made a hilarious rape joke about a real person, a female poster summoned a mod to delete the post, and the hilarious rape jokester whined and whined, calling the female poster a snitch, asking her if she was so sensitive because she got raped, and suggesting that maybe she should seek therapy instead of infringing on his free speech rights.

Eventually, all the male posters on the board took his side.

I am so happy ILX is not that place.

(Posted here, and not on "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here", out of respect for the late Bimble.)

Eventually, all the male posters on the board took his side.

I am so happy ILX is not that place.

(Posted here, and not on "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here", out of respect for the late Bimble.)

― oder doch?, Monday, August 10, 2020 11:25 AM (nine minutes ago)

thank you oder doch. i understand that dynamic very well. it is always painful to see it play out.

What's all this about Daryl Stuermer all of a sudden?

wow, kinda otm

but it's like peeing in your pants when you're wearing a dark suit. you get a warm feeling all over but no one notices.

not much of a defense of PHil Collins there ^

ffs

YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS YOU WHO ARE MISTAKEN, ABOUT A GREAT MANY THINGS.

haha lololol because Old

o my sides

I never know when this thread is deliberately and/or mistakenly used instead of the main second thoughts thread or whether posts herein truly refer to the main second thoughts thread (I wrote ‘thoughts’ in the plural, sorry not sorry).

Gotta say I am low-key digging the trend of people just typing in what they WOULD link to instead of linking to it

Way better than trying to link something in, failing, and then saying "fuck, that didn't work. what I meant was..."

(galaxybrain.jpg)

It's like the old meta-joke about people who have been prison together for a long time, and who just refer to jokes by number

you mean marriage?

Go fuck a diaper

the issue of having sex in front of a baby actually came up at work the other day

^ was going to post anniehallmarshallmcluhan.jpg until I realised potential for misinterpretation, but I was already on this thread so I couldn't just take it to here

Before the introduction of individual bedrooms and our contemporary ideas of private space, sex in the same room as babies and small children must have been commonplace.

I mean, I'm not recommending ito as a fun practice or a spicy kink or anything.

Simply that many of our ancestors lived in more communal spaces than we ourselves are used to. The survival of the species (and the existence of large families) suggests that an awful lot of our forebears must have made whoopee near babies and small children.

Surely the way to save the planet is to troll.

https://cdn.statcdn.com/Statistic/635000/638990-blank-355.png

Yes, but we all know that some FPs are officially sanctioned and some are dismissed.

dear lord get a life

You're one to talk, go and annoy some Americans, that's all about all you're good for, you tedious Canadian cunt.

Lol wtf

Now see, addressing other posters in that manner IS one of the ways people find their FP count rising.

It's a fair cop, guv'nor.

the opening post on this thread was inspired by none other than our dear departed friend, and is exactly why I’m going to miss him forever.

<3

so glad you could notify us about your general superiority to the general US poster consensus

Just two different perspectives I held, at different times, about how Morbs' attitude related to it, and vice versa.

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-have-different-opinions-Even-if-I-believe-in-my-opinion-with-a-whole-heart-there-are-still-people-who-disagree-Has-that-something-to-do-with-who-you-are-or-is-it-in-the-brain

lmao

deems yknow I genuinely wonder that sometimes it’s a source of distress

Oh I think we all go through it!

See also:

should other people have different opinions?

Where’d esby go btw?

is it in the brain

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one, and mine is best lavished with slow, wet kisses :/

D:

Jfc

whenever UK ilxors post about US politics, I often agree, but mostly I think about making a grilled cheese sandwich though I never do make that sandwich, I just think about the ideal grilled cheese sandwich

Real testament to the charter school movement’s success aren’t you

I read through the Morbs RIP thread again the other week when someone mentioned him, and am not 100% sure that saying "I thought the same thing as everyone else" was the best way to signal my superiority to everyone else tbh

the real hasn't been in circulation for 150 years

Es verdad.

I had one that wouldve made an "ilx posts taken outtve context" entry that wouldve earned min. 20 fps within ten mins and in a highly uncharacteristic moment of sense ive gone naaah

in re things nakh likes?

racist balkans in football was a fave topic of our former m8

Look genuinely im leaving it there, we've had a hectic week

i like onions

we will always have gaz coombes

Streisand ffs

"tv shows"

this dunkey's gone to heaven

whiney is gonna meet dunkey and it's gonna be a love affair

have we considered not caring about this?

no we have not

or rather, we considered not caring and decided instead to care about it

link to boundaries thread

If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It's in his

tank?

That's where it is!

Some real wild posts in here today

oh shit i wonder if i'm being subtweeted

thanks again for the Hammill/Fripp tank youtube!

anytime!

I ain’t reading all that

otm tho

or fp

bamboo harvester is president

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IOuOIkqRJ8

xp table - is she brainwashed or abused?

My wife: what is that site you spend so much of your time on for exactly?
Me: well, some people performatively misunderstand things, and other people sweetly try to explain them, only the original person actually understands less and less. Like inverse teaching. That, mostly.
My wife: oh. Could we finish decorating the hallway now?

Hot Dog / Not Hot Dog

My wife: oh. Could we finish decorating the hallway now?

Hallway there but for you

no

lol

https://www.humanesociety.org/sites/default/files/styles/1441x612/public/2022-07/kitten-playing-575035.jpg?h=b1b36da8&itok=a0MQL3IM

lol ... <3

fragile masculinity yay

i like kittens

whoa, slow down with the hot takes itt

(just to be clear this was only in response to sarahell's controversial take on kittens and absolutely nothing else)

#notallkittens ... is that ok?

lol, i suppose

tbrr w/u ... actually, all kittens, all of them.

Shart takes

i mean, i understand, but i actually met a kitten that was a total asshole over the holidays, so i can't unequivocally support the liking of 100% of the kitten population

was it cute?

you bet it was cute, it must have been

AKAB

*sigh* yes, it was cute

there are few things i believe in 100% of the time, but that's one of them, and i'm glad that once again it is still true. also if anyone ever has a kitten that seems to be not cute, somehow, give it to me. i will name it sparky and give it the cuddles of a lifetime

straight fire beautiful sparky

i wish kids wasn't a word, because i'd love to call kittens kitz

seems to me like using absolutist reasoning will fail here no matter which side of the question it is applied to

nb: ^ this was not intended to refer to any post in this thread or in the other 'second thought' thread, which is currently caught up in an extended detour from its stated purpose, to the point where a disclaimer seemed in order

what are your thoughts on kittens, Aimless?

cute and poorly coordinated in a mildly comical way

i would like to emphasize the cute

other acceptable answers: cuet

using absolutist reasoning will fail here no matter which side of the question it is applied to

all generalizations are wrong

Except that one

Treecut

i don't know what electro-swing sounds like, but the name sounds like it would be fun tbh?

I posted a youtube mix of it in that thread so you can judge for yourself.

apparently

i feel like people are ignoring the baby in the room

That’s what threads are for

What if ilx had to reach full consensus for any topic to be discussed ever

was it a men's bathroom, a women's bathroom, or a unisex bathroom and was it about your dick ... and was it true or not ... and how did you know

we've been shrunk inside a flying school bus headed for Godwin's left nostril

tbf these posts have arguably been given less focus than the experience of eating a bad chicken wing

(tbc I look forward to updating that thread if/when it happens to me)

(the chicken wing thread)

Can we try to be a little nicer to each other?

The other day I made a very innocuous comment and, shortly thereafter, felt like I was elbowed in the side by another poster.

Sometimes I feel like we need an all purpose boxing gym bag thread for all the tension so many are feeling

All right, if y'all are elbowing Raymond of all posters, this pit is officially getting out of hand

OTM

NO ONE CARES ABOUT HOW MANY FUCKING POSTS YOU HAVE

Is that for those who posted theirs already or for those of us who didn't post ours yet?

that's whiney's 4644637th complaint.

NO ONE CARES ABOUT HOW MANY FUCKING POSTS YOU HAVE

― The SoyBoy West Coast (Whiney G. Weingarten)

hey whiney how many posts do you have?

NO ONE CARES ABOUT HOW MANY FUCKING POSTS YOU HAVE

Honestly though… I think WGW had more sock accounts than me so neither of us can calc our real total

It’s not how many posts you’ve made, it’s how many fingers you used to type em

it's how many posts about the beatles you've made

its how many times you told chris ott to fuck off.

Not many people read my posts, but every one of them started a band

YMP, Do you want to be Forks 2: horribly formed jokes 4u?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ig_vkj6z2N4

chocolate ice cream would have been great, i'd've loved that, but our options were rum raisin or dumpster slime, quit pretending these are identical, fuck

Misread as Burzum tapped for Energy czar

Do you have to practise to be that much of a dick

dandydonweiner should probably be unbanned; his main crime seems to have been being right

Previous thread was locked. Please looks at why that was so.

Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here

I fell into an aesthetic I call "drunk English professor" in about 1991, and have barely budged since then.

The fact that Zionists think calling Irish people ‘paddystinians’ is an insult is hilarious. It’s an honour.
🇵🇸🇮🇪✊

— Devlin Disguise (@Keefdevlin) December 18, 2024

Dave Matthews owns a vineyard
It is next to Eric Trump's vineyard

is there a.......

Alarmed that the UK food vs US food discourse has now spread here from Twitter/Bluesky, it's going to be outdoor cats next.

It didn't go so bad last time

Outside Cats - is it a sin?

OK Britisher

Condescension cloaked in politeness is my family’s love language

oh, bless their hearts

been finding "hello" more and more presumptuous recently

some folk see evil and maybe it fires them up, fills them with fury and resolve and purpose, and that is a truly excellent thing but it actually makes me want to die so all the pelicot posts have made this thread hell for me, but it's valuable for you all and i respect & admire that, but but but maybe there is anything going on in somebody's life somewhere that is not just the fucking worst

and again all respect to everyone here, and to the woman herself, i know it's important but i fucking can't take straight poison w/ no nourishment because that kills me

here is a sleepy kitten in a shoe

https://pleated-jeans.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/shut-up-and-look-at-these-kittens-snuggled-into-shoes-26-pics-41.jpg

[show hidden text]

https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExajh3dGIycmF5Z2xnYzN1YnB4YmI1NWI1bTVoYWVzNzU2N3ZsOHJoaiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/l4EpfpTabb5ueVrDa/giphy.webp

otm tbh

"and the girls walk by, dressed up for each other"

-- Van Morrison --

Bono spelled backward sounds like "oh knob"

tbh it sounds more like “Owen Obie”

Jesus f c that is not the point t and you know it. Nice job pussyfooting about this grade a asshole. If only you hadn't already bullied me into silence elsewhere.

Mon semblable mon frére

Federal layoffs have struck the U.S. Meat Animal Research Center in central Nebraska, leaving several scientists who work with cattle and pigs without jobs.

And further because I sang it to the tune of the Replacements' "Men Without Ties," and then I thought about Men Without Hats, and then back to pigs without jobs.

But the moment was lost because of poxy fuledom

I am not not not gonna say "How was he feeling?"

I've come up with a way of getting more music out of dead people. It struck me that you can make an entirely new David Bowie song out of "Heroes" by just editing out most of the words. I have written down, on paper, an entirely new David Bowie song. It's called "I Like Dolphins (and Nothing)". It's a profoundly nihilistic song.

I've done the same with "Walking on the Moon" by The Police. My new song is called "Giant Steps". All you have to do is edit out everything except the first two words. It's genius.

I made a song like that too it’s called “I am the Lithuanian bobsled team”

bingo

pshh, i have more youtube subs than that

Ts: Richard Thompson's "Beeswing" vs. Kristin Hersh's "Beestung"

hi👋🏻

so if we have anything close to a real life superhero, i'd argue it's chris hansen. and good grief do we need some help right now! so here's my proposal for the most epic comeback of alltime. get el0n over in cahoots with chris hansen (el0n is taking over the role of perverted justice) and then we get donny to come back to the island for a victory lap. but he walks in and it's really 'why don't you have a seat' time once again. oh fuck yeah.

Omg lol that would be awesome Austin

we're all time signature double agents here; loyal to no ONE except our own self-contained perception of THE one. . . it's just a checkpoint on the path to ilm enlightenment.

or, to go even further off the rails, i shall propose that you are all working towards a new religious idol here: "ilmlightenment."

whatever the case, ludacris was a snappy dresser back in the day.

and yeah: that's pronounced like "eye-el-EM-lightenment." the cheese is delicious today, thank you for asking.

Religious iLOL

The year is 2057, the place is post-apocalyptic America after the second water war and the third climate migration. A lone man clad in a threadbare shade cloak, a barely functioning filtration/hydration pack strapped to his face, climbs out of his underground bunker and begins the long, arduous walk to the nearest caravan waystation. He climbs onto the horse drawn flatbed with the others forced to travel in the hottest of the summers, grabbing for dear life onto one of the few handholds, taking care not to tangle his filtration hose. After a seemingly endless journey, he reaches the last powered community center in his region. He limps to the end of the meandering line to get into the air cooled facility. Hours later he reaches the desk and requests his 5-minute slot to use one of the region's two functional computer stations. He idly flips through a pamphlet about dew conservation, struggling to recall the last time he felt dew on his bare feet. Eventually his slot comes up and he shuffles over to the station. He scans his fading PersID chip and logs in. He locates the site he needs, thankful there is still at least one mod around to keep it going. Slowly and deliberately, he types out one single message and clicks "Submit Post" just as his slot expires, letting out a relieved sigh:

I still think you are hearing it wrong, when I dance to it that's where I count the 1

Beautiful jon

I wonder if there would be more tolerance for ambiguity on either side if this were a debate around harmonic rather than rhythmic interpretation.

Fantastic work jon

Ha, thanks!

LOL

lmao

good grief jon the frustrating unmet need to click upvote or heart or thumbs up or SOMETHING

you guys have no idea how entertaining that thread has been as someone who never intended to read past the first few replies.

Yeah its an all time classic thread—-you still got it folks.

Internet pedantry is where I'm a viking

we seem to have reached the "using the sense of hearing to do musical analysis is ableist" point in the discourse

Is deej a juggalo?

ICP is certainly an example where being able to perceive sound puts you at a distinct disadvantage

I forgot where to c&p whiney making posts about pizza

on an unrelated note

it's always heartwarming on ILX when people who have been posting for multiple decades roll out the "you all are NPCs to me" defense

What’s an NPC?

It's a term from role-playing games meaning Non-Player Character, in other words, a character you might encounter walking around in a game. It's used colloquially to mean someone with no inner life, personality, or original viewpoints of their own, basically a generic person.

Catching up on dutifully bookmarked threads and getting pissed off by posts from months ago which reminded me why I stopped following the thread …

hi i wanted to ask a general discussion question about music, but didn't want to start a new topic. i tried searching, but no luck. it's not an important thing whatsoever and idk... probably only of interest to me? so i'm putting it here. answer if you want, i guess; it's definitely appreciated if you take the time.

what formed your conception of music?

my answer. behind hidden tags to cut down on post size:

i was lucky enough to know all of my grandparents, and both of my grandfathers played instruments that they had taught themselves. one played accordion, the other organ. both taught themselves to read music through consumer books. they never played together, or even talked about it to friends. but every other evening or so, after dinner, and before prime time television of interest came on, they would play for a bit. usually the same set of songs. my maternal grandfather was the accordion player, and he knew lots of tin pan alley. my paternal grandfather was the organist, and he preferred old timey american folk songs, stuff like battle hymn of the republic and home on the range. the main thing was that they both had a similar style of playing everything in a kind of medley. the same songs would show up, but in different order, and sometimes they would just make up their own chord progressions to segue. i remember asking my mom's dad once if he could play any janet jackson, and his answer was that he could if they made a song book that he could read, and that completely blew my mind! it was so common to have one of them play an instrument just for fun whenever i was visiting, i just assumed it was a normal thing to be into music as more than just a listener, even if you didn't pay attention to the music on the radio. i attempted the accordion a few times but it was heavy and difficult. other grandfather had a few organs, one of which was an antique one that required the player to pump a foot pedal in order to make sound. it was fucking rad and they often had to tear me away from it for meals, bedtime, anything at all really lol. years later, it also occurs to me that men of their generation would also use playing music as a way to further impress their partners. no one else in the family played anything. the main thing is that i never really experienced music in my formative years via religion/church. my grandparents were all church goers, but again they were all from a really different generation where church was just as much a social gathering. for example, they all attended regularly but neither of their homes had a bible. anyway, thanks for reading. figures that in adulthood my idea of cool music making is a guy sitting in a room following his whims.

super interesting topic and thread idea tbh, Austin

My mat-gramma was an opera singer (in the chorus) before she became a homemaker. Her eldest son (my
uncle) is a sublimely talented singer himself, who pursued it to a high level in training but never did anything with it. My mother was not so talented in this regard, but she did fumble her way through Handel pieces at our piano.

I was exposed at age 3 in my mother’s house to records, and was drawn to Pachebel’s canon, and other traditionally beautiful baroque music— Bach’s double violin concerto i.e. We lived in a bluegrass-friendly part of Canada and by age 3 I was taking fiddle lessons, and moved into classical violin by age 4. I would sit at the piano and play Kuhlau sonatinas, having learned treble clef, playing them all wrong (reading the left hand as treble instead of bass).

My father took the organ very seriously, and classical music in general. From a very young age, I remember he was playing duets with my stepmother (him on organ, her on harpsichord). My father, like me, lacked the fundamental basic level of ability to be a dignified player, and I recall even at a young age feeling embarrassed to hear him fumble through music that was beyond his abilities— Widor’s Toccata was one that he just couldn’t master. Through him I was exposed to an enormous amount of classical repertoire, as the house was always playing symphonies and strings quartets and so on. My stepmother in particular had (perhaps still has) a unique way of stirring up the community: she likes to drive around the city in the bitter cold of winter with the heat on full blast and the windows down blaring Messiah and Bach Cantatas at maximum volume, as other’s might do with a bass bin in their trunk, attracting the attention of bemused pedestrians.

At age 5 I broke my leg and was wheelchair bound for an entire summer. My rich great-uncle gifted me with a VCR so I wouldn’t suffer too badly, and included three films on VHS: The Wizard Of Oz, Time Bandits, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. I favoured the latter and absorbed J Strauss and Khachaturian and Ligeti at a very young age as a result.

…and that’s why “Roll Out” lands on the downbeat

my parents weren't very musical - my mom could play hymns and sing and she was the lds choir conductor for a few years; the last time my dad was musically engaged was when he was listening to moody blues, blood sweat & tears and eric clapton in the 70s. i don't think he ever really had a music "aha" moment, he was just impressed by technically proficient and progressive rock playing (but not too weird or anything). my mom tells me that at age 4 i told them "i can hear music." they promptly enrolled me in piano lessons. my peak of ability was getting through the rach c # minor prelude at around 14. i wrote little piano pieces for the annual pta "reflections" contest 4th through 8th grade. my parents did try to support my passion. they bought us a weighted key electric piano, i think it was a roland? and this little sequencer module to go with it that i was obsessed with for a few years. we were pc early adopters so i got into midi created music and that sort of thing. we had an uncle who owned a music gear shop and we got some things through him. in teen years i formed a band with two friends but i ran into drama from my parents about it so we never did much but play a talent show (with a "song 2" cover lol). i was always listening to the radio. smooth love jams from sade and the jets were early favorites. then i got into top 40 music. then my friends were into bad grunge trend bands so i was into that for a while.

I had a class called music and movement (m&m) in preschool and I loved it. Then I discovered records.

many of my first memories revolve around music— stomping around the living room to “Surfin’ USA,” sitting in the backseat of my dad’s navy blue Ford station wagon while James Brown’s “Night Train” played on the cassette deck, my mom singing “Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye” as a lullaby…

I played piano as a kid, then guitar and bass, singing throughout. I actually scored a Juilliard audition for opera, then decided that I cared more about writing and could minor in something musical at a different school, and then I started smoking. I did minor in music composition in college.

Anyway, I could write about this question forever. I feel like my conception of music is always changing. The other day I reposted something on Instagram that read “All music is worship music if you know how to listen,” which I honestly have come to believe. Not in a traditional religious way, of course, but because the voice singing, even terribly, is related to spirit, thus all voicings from all instruments are related to spirit.

Literally, spirit = breath (respiration, aspiration, etc.)

My town got MTV on April 1, 1988. I was 8 years old and it was off to the races.

thank you for your answers, everyone. again, i am endlessly fascinated by this topic. thank you for taking the time.

...and i think i know what you mean, table; i think of all music as folk music.

My parents didn't get cable until 2000. My video watching consisted of, in chronological order, intermittent VHS-ing of Friday Night Videos from 1985-1990, what I could catch at friend's houses, a weeklong stretch at Sanibel Island where my sister and I gorged on MTV and VH-1, and a period in the late '90s when somehow videos felt more omnipresent as internet use spread.

Austin how are you doing? I don't want to pry but a couple of weeks ago I saw an old post where you were going through a rough time. I'm sorry I missed it then.

I don't have a 'conception of music' origin story that i know of. My parents said i used to pace around the rug in a circle to music. I was into it and they got me a guitar when i was 4 (which my brother promptly smashed).

As an immigrant i used music to deny where i came from and escape myself. And later, to find out who i really am. Maybe both of those things at the same time sometimes.

I had emotion blindness as a kid so i didn't know until recently that i'd been using music to regulate my emotions all my life.

Lately i think of it like a potent substance or nourishment that i need to monitor closely. I seek out music for its healing properties and avoid "happy meals" that deliver instant gratification but make me fatigued or aggrieved.

There was a time when i thought of music as interesting or not interesting in a formal sense, that's when i was the most 'plugged in' actually. There's still some residue of that attitude but that person would be horrified at how i approach it now.

thank you for asking. trying to stay focused these days. wonderful post, too; thank you for the unique perspective.

alfred/whiney/music video folks―
i think the death of the music video as a song promotion tool is too bad. for a while in the 90s, video shows were even better than radio for hearing/learning about new music. later on in my teens, my paternal grandparents were integral to my further understanding/appreciation of pop music because they had a satellite dish that picked up the box. i still remember some videos that only ever got played on there; mtv and vh1 wouldn't touch them lol.

i don't have a lot of early memories but when i hear the beginning of "won't get fooled again" i think of being a little one rolling around the floor with the telephone off the hook being kinda mesmerized by the dial tone; like the separation between "the intro of that one song" and "the noise i hear when i pick up the phone" wasn't really there yet.

This is an interesting topic but why is it hidden on the meta-snark thread?

Yeah I'm wondering if this shouldn't be copy/pasted to start a new thread?

Austin wrt music as medicine or nourishment. I sometimes think of your post about how fishmans saved your life. The dijon album has been a surprisingly effective antidepressant a few times this week.

The mtv posts remind me that i also used music to insulste myself. When music was becoming my main preoccupation around age 8, i found a special edition of Life magazine at my grandparents' housr that covered the history of rock n roll up to 1992. None of those artists were on MTV, and very few were on VH-1.

I've tended to think that i read about more music than i listened to then just as a matter of access. Tapes and cd's were expensive, but magazines were cheap and the library was full of materials on all of these "historic" artists.

But I had MTV, I had VH-1, I had a radio. I think i can understand now that reading about music was an act of avoiding music. I think avoidance was an important piece of the puzzle for young me.

The main thing i took away from the dad mags, and later NME etc, was permission or even encouragement to insulate myself from my actual environment, and to use music as a tool for shutting it out. I mean the goal of "discovery" seems to have been the curation of a personal bubble.

Thats one reason i tend to oppose "canon building", or "best ever albums" kind of lists. I think they encourage rejection of the musical environment in front of you. At the same time I can't blame anyone else if that was my own instinct as a kid. I probably needed a protective bubble, and it does seem to have helped as much as it hurt.

Sorry to carry on! I'm in a strange position of just now finding out all this stuff that's always been obvious to most ppl.

I gravitated to artists who had similar troubles and needs to my own, they helped form my values and offered much needed guidance i never got from authority fugures, etc. Somehow this only became clear recently.

I like the way Austin uses this thread a lot more than the passive agressive meta-snark of the old one, happy someone found a better use for it.

what formed your conception of music?

― austinato (Austin)

i guess i'll do a spoiler cut cuz what i wrote is longer than what you wrote :)

neither of my parents could sing. my dad said he "couldn't carry a tune in a bucket", but the truth is that he didn't try. my mom tried but didn't seem to... she'd try to sing me lullabies when i was a baby and i'd cover her mouth with my hand to get her to stop. my mom got me a used standup piano when i was a kid and i took piano lessons for a while. i learned to read music ok and i got long slim fingers and a good handspan. my body was weird and awkward - dyspraxia, undiagnosed hypermobility. it didn't feel like _my_ body. i just didn't have any _feel_ for the music. my sense of rhythm was terrible. i took lessons for a while, basically in a vacuum. i didn't get much encouragement about basically anything.

i think i started listening to music around the end of 1985, when i was seven. Z-100 in New York. i don't have fond memories of it. i don't think it was very good. i liked... you still had the weird '70s synth logos around in the '80s. my dad watched a news program on PBS called "washington week in review". you can hear the theme at 8:07 in this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP5NraxJsoA

i had some records when i was a kid. a lot of them were my mom's "golden records" from when she was a kid in the early '50s. they were dumb. i don't know why my mom thought i would like the same stuff she liked as a kid. we also had a single of "ball of confusion", though, and i liked it a lot. later on i got to listening to her other records... she had a lot of beatles, i liked that the most. she also had simon and garfunkel, who i liked, and judy collins, who i wasn't such a big fan of. and woodstock ii, i loved jimi hendrix's part of that. anyway when i was about 12 my aunt had her car stolen... it got wrecked but they found a copy of Led Zeppelin IV in the tape deck, and she gave it to me, and that was when I fell in love with music. that's kind of cringe but it was true, all through my teenage years i had this autistic fixation on led zeppelin. it took me four years to get copies of their albums... we were pretty broke by that time and i didn't have a lot of friends. around that time i started listening to K-rock and WPLJ until they stopped playing jimi hendrix and classic rock started sounding lame to me. since i couldn't afford new albums, i started getting into trading bootleg tapes. i got a fixation on them because they sounded like the songs i knew but different. i was very into "the same, but different". also a lot of them sounded like shit, and i never had a good sounding stereo. so i still love records that sound like shit in a certain way.

when i was about 23 or so, i saw "boogie nights" and i first realized "hey, 'god only knows' is a really good song". when i was a kid my parents had a copy of "smiley smile" and i listened to the woody woodpecker song, because i liked woody woodpecker, but the song sounded weird and creepy. anyway then i learned about smile. i was already into bootlegs and from there i really got into the idea of unreleased albums. the stuff you couldn't just go to any record store and buy. i liked the idea of... i mean i felt like an unfinished, incomplete person. idk, for some reason "smile" is a big thing among certain trans women. jeanne thornton wrote this great book called "summer fun" about a fictional version of the beach boys in which the brian wilson character is a trans woman, and there's a website by this lady named cassandra burke who has all of these bizarre theories about the smile album. the other thing i liked a lot about "smile" is that it was called "smile" and it was trying to be happy but at the same time it was really weird and sad. i liked robert wyatt's music a lot the same way. nowadays i can hear that wyatt had what some people have called "the saddest voice in the world", that "shleep" is a very sad album, that "free will and testament" is a very sad song. back then i just liked it because it talked about how i felt, it was the kind of person i wanted to be when i grew older. because robert was also, by all accounts, an exceptionally kind man. a lot of what formed my conception of music was the myth, the metadata.

the thing about music was that it used to be the only way i could feel emotions. i learned early on to not express emotions directly, that it got me in trouble, and listening to music was basically my only outlet. eventually i got into certain kinds of pop music, like i liked good vibrations because it was a song that people thought was normal but which if you listened to it, was actually really fucking weird. that was who i wanted to be, a weird person who people thought was normal.

and then after that i guess RYM, starting in '07, and ILX, starting in '11. i kinda stopped listening to music when i got divorced. too many choices, too many feelings, too many painful memories. too little time, too few people to talk about music with.

This is an interesting topic but why is it hidden on the meta-snark thread?

― Halfway there but for you

this feels like a good place for thread drift, for catch-all talk.

sometimes it's hard for me to say things at all. i don't want to start new threads at this late juncture. i often feel like anything i say is orthogonal to what anybody else is saying. i've learned to think before i speak, so i speak less and at much greater length. it's hard to engage with that kind of writing, i know.

Growing up we had a baby grand piano that I was the only one who played… in the last couple years, I think my dad tried remembering how to play. I had bought them a new piano bench. My mom listened to records when I was young, but stopped around the time I was 8 or 9. We would also listen to Casey Kasem Top 40 countdown around then … early 80s. My mom’s parents produced community theater sometimes, Neil Simon comedies and some musicals …. My mom sang in one.

She recently started listening to BBC Radio a lot, including a show called the Perfect Fifth. She didn’t know what a perfect fifth was … my response was “it’s the most common interval in choral singing… between the alto and soprano parts.” She didn’t know this because she was always the soprano singing the melody. But she did know that she doesn’t really like major keys and chords much, and prefers minor ones.

Not sure how memorable but my grandfather

Parents met at the semi/pro Bach Choir in Saint Louis and sang in church and community choirs for decades. They also had a small collection of early records from the early music (Baroque mostly) revival. I was more interested in my dad’s Beatles records but I loved looking at the exotic German-import records with exotic German language sleeves and labels (Archiv! Deutsche Gramophon Gesellschaft!).

I sang in my (Lutheran) church children’s choir and in the Minnesota Boychoir. Wore a dickie and sailor type outfit lol with the latter. But I got to sing on the stage of Orchestra Hall in Minneapolis so that was my one and only star moment. I deejayed and on staff at the student radio station all four years of undergrad (played almost exclusively indie rock and backpack hip hop but discovered Aphex Twin and blew my mind) and two years of grad school at a community radio station where I had a wider repertoire but still ostensibly electronic.

Between college and grad school I ran a one-man record store in a small town in Connecticut. I had no idea what I was doing, business-wise but I had a blast, met interesting people including Dan Bunny and Gene Moore (who wanted me to know he taught his younger brother Thurston guitar) and discovered that I love Philly Soul and bluegrass there, so it widened my horizons.

My family is all musicians and dancers, mostly classical. My uncles play harpsichord and terz guitar, my mother is a violinist, concertmaster, and a ballet teacher for 40 years.

This was around me like water but I felt left out, like an amphibian among fish. No ear, no aptitude, and for some reason no lessons, ever. I speak music haltingly, like a poorly understood language.

The music that hit me viscerally was what came out of the bedside radio, like many tweens. But I had the unimaginably good fortune to have been a tweenager in the years of our lord 1981 through 1985, which all sensible people agree were the absolute best years for music. No use arguing, because this is straight facts.

I went on to know and do many things in music, some of which were hipper or more avant-garde, but it all stems from the faux-wood Radio Shack clock radio, the excitement and ferment.

Casey Kasem would hand you "Pass the Dutchie" and then "Let's Dance" and then "Borderline" and then "Rock the Casbah" and then "1999" and then "Shock the Monkey" and it was all together and it was all perfect.

40+ years of chasing that specific neon-colored high. I was so excited, I just couldn't hide it.

i guess i'll do a spoiler cut cuz what i wrote is longer than what you wrote :)

kate, a single post of yours is often more wordy than a month or two worth of posts from any other user on this site. not slagging you, just stating a fact.

There was also a lot of schlock during those years… I remember getting mad at Casey Kasem when some schmaltzy movie love ballad would be in the top 10 … or like Journey … like One Night in Bangkok and Rock Me Amadeus and their ilk were vastly superior … and this led to a long period of misanthropy.

xp that is an exaggeration!

since i couldn't afford new albums, i started getting into trading bootleg tapes. i got a fixation on them because they sounded like the songs i knew but different. i was very into "the same, but different". also a lot of them sounded like shit, and i never had a good sounding stereo. so i still love records that sound like shit in a certain way.

yeah that was a thing for me too. especially after we got unlimited dial up AOL, and I could get strangers on the internet to fill up a bunch of blank tapes with music for me if I just paid for the postage.

my good friend and neighbor who is a semi-professional record collector bid on this 45 of India Remembers Elvis by Ananda Shankar. He didn't win, but he persuaded the winning bidder to send him a cassette dub of the material, and both of us were like obsessed with this fucking record, it was the coolest thing we'd ever heard! It was warped though, and distorted, and I think a little too fast. We said, oh god, we need to find a clean copy. So then when it was reissued as the bonus material on some Ananda CD I got it, and we listened together and it was so disappointing, just not nearly as incredible sounding as the warped cassette dub. like a soda gone flat.

lately I've been obsessed with this Bismillah Khan performance of rag Yaman, it seems like it was recorded on a tape machine with a fucked up motor, so there are all these weird key changes. it's fantastic. I mean, it's also one of my favorite performances of music I've heard in my life. you should check it out!

Nice, I listened to a couple of other renditions of Yaman the other day, and those old radio recordings have an aura about them too..

xp that is an exaggeration!

it isn’t.

can a mod tell me if there's a max no of fps you can give in a thread in a week

Only one FP from a single poster against a single poster is counted, but it's always the most recent one.

can a mod tell me if there's a max no of fps you can give in a thread in a week

Flagged

xp that is an exaggeration!

whether or not it's literally true isn't the point... it is true that my posts are more like lectures than message board posts. it's not how i want to communicate with others and i don't feel like it's an effective way of communicating. i'm isolated and my communication skills have atrophied and this is the result. i appreciate critical feedback! particularly... since this isn't a thread with a particular purpose, if anybody has any constructive advice, i'd love to hear it. i _am_ trying to get out more and meet more people in person. i believe that would help me a lot.

lately I've been obsessed with this Bismillah Khan performance of rag Yaman, it seems like it was recorded on a tape machine with a fucked up motor, so there are all these weird key changes. it's fantastic. I mean, it's also one of my favorite performances of music I've heard in my life. you should check it out!

― supermeerkat (Deflatormouse)

oh shit i totally will now, thanks! i love tapes that are "wrong" in interesting ways, artifacts from the recording rather than accurate representations of how it sounded in person. i think that process can be additive as well as subtractative. i love, for instance, carole king's acetate of "porpoise song", the one that was found in a house davy jones had moved out of. the particular sort of distortion on it is SO GOOD.

last night i started streaming the doobie brothers episode of "what's happening !!", and then i went on a bender looking for doobie brothers bootlegs. i never saw any doobie brothers AUD tapes back when i was an active trader. there are a couple out there. not many.

xp-

thank you again everyone for your answers. deflator, your record chasing war stories sound like the exact kind of lore i had in mind when bringing up this topic. perfect post imo. perhaps i'll take ned's advice and start a new thread later. my reservations stemmed from the topic potentially getting too personal/not fun. for example: there's a reason i didn't talk about anyone else in my family outside of my grandparents when answering my own question.

thanks again. really enjoyed everyone's answers. i wish i could go further into detail about my adolescent years, experiences with the punk rock and hiphop scenes, the internet, hilarious forays into joirnalism,l and whatnot... but it's just too associated with trauma and painful memories. i don't mean this in a pitiful way at all, but it's amazing to hear of fairly normal music-rearing. i'm not envious of you guys, but please understand: a situation like ye mad puffin described literally sounds like a fair tale come to life for me and if i get a chance at selective reincarnation, i choose that skin.

anyway because this is the off-topic topic, it's the middle of the week, and the last few posts are what they are, i'd like to shamelessly self-promote a poll i'm running-
‘THE NERVE OF WALKING TALL’ ― my picks for the most fun songs ever!

i am bad typist on internet. i am sad at my own inability to proofread.

xp kate!-
the love of (and sometimes preference for) lesser-fidelity recordings is something i learned to recocile when it came to my attention that certain music only exists on warped dub plates. like... that IS the master recording lol. very much a certain charm to it. good thoughts.

thanks again. really enjoyed everyone's answers. i wish i could go further into detail about my adolescent years, experiences with the punk rock and hiphop scenes, the internet, hilarious forays into joirnalism,l and whatnot... but it's just too associated with trauma and painful memories. i don't mean this in a pitiful way at all, but it's amazing to hear of fairly normal music-rearing. i'm not envious of you guys, but please understand: a situation like ye mad puffin described literally sounds like a fair tale come to life for me and if i get a chance at selective reincarnation, i choose that skin.

― austinato (Austin)

huh, i just made a post over on the LGBTQ thread talking about something a little similar, maybe you might vibe with it

Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

i've thought about it, and i've decided is what i'm going to do is put most of my longer posts behind a cut, so people can read them if they want.

cuz the answer to "could you be more succinct?" is truly and genuinely "no". i got stuff that's important for me to say, and i know that there are people here who find it valuable and meaningful. i understand that for a lot of people it's "too much", and i don't think it's pointless logorrhea.

"be your authentic self", people say, and it's good advice, but i do have the constant temptation to hold myself back. all my life people have been telling me that i'm "too much", that i'm "extra", and yeah, i agree. i am. i try to spread it around, not throw everything in one place. my posts are long, but i'm not flooding the server with rambling post after rambling post. in fact, one of the reasons my posts are so long is because i _do_ try to be mindful of what i write. my long posts are typically second drafts. i mean what am i gonna do, a third draft? it's a fucking internet message board!

people tell me "you should talk to your therapist about it". i _know_ they mean well. i have ONE HOUR A WEEK with my therapist. that doesn't even scratch the surface of what i'm dealing with. i am dealing with a lot of horseshit, my friends are dealing with a lot of horse shit. y'all are the most together, high-functioning people i get to talk to regularly. and look, i've spent the past year working on my skills, learning to self-soothe, learning to manage my emotional issues myself rather than dumping on other people, and i still have problems. i still need to talk about things, i still need to, like, get external validation. i carry way too much around and i gotta let some of it out sometimes. and sometimes that takes place here. i work hard to be wise-minded, and sometimes that means speaking at length. i hope putting my digressions behind a cut will be an effective compromise.

Glad I missed yesterday’s absurd art crit discussion

I just want to mention that I don't think I ever achieved a lot of relative "cred" with the ilx "clique", but I am proud of the fact that I at least coined "shady scams" for the ilx lexicon.

Too bad "jugstaposition" didn't take. Limited usage. Hard to shoehorn into discussion. Takes skill.

donald trump about to die what's on yr ipod

hoo boy instant regret on that one

I don't think an Authentic Self exists, Kate!

"whatever you do: don't be yourself"