Thread in which we gloat at every terrible person who is furious at the election result

Typical. First time I vote Tory and this happens...

— (((Dan Hodges))) (@DPJHodges) June 8, 2017

Article 50 had been triggered and we were on our way. May has put all this in jeopardy. Even David Davis is now making Brexit concessions.

— Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) June 9, 2017

Have to admit I don't understand my country. However bad Tory campaign was, how can people vote to put Corbyn, McDonnell & Abbott in charge?

— Stephen Pollard (@stephenpollard) June 9, 2017

^^bonus terrible person - retweeted by Toby Young

He lost. To a patently incredible & ugly Tory campaign. https://t.co/jmAj6Ev5R6

— Oliver Kamm (@OliverKamm) June 9, 2017

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/detector.jpg

lulz

As exit poll looms, I repeat my prediction: Conservatives to win by 90-100 seat majority. #GE17

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 8, 2017

My new @DailyMail column is about Theresa May & why she must go, and go NOW.
Posting soon. pic.twitter.com/UqEnyOKky2

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 9, 2017

Occurs to me that any candidate could win Islington by a landslide, if they changed their name by deed poll to "Wenger Out". #Election2017

— Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) June 8, 2017

https://skwalker1964.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/9-old-white-men.jpg

get it right up ye, ye purple-faced pricks

the terrorist group Ulster Resistance was founded by a collection of people who went on to be prominent DUP politicians.

Twitter won it for Ed Miliband, Scottish independence, Remain and Hillary Clinton- let's do the same for #VoteLabour - the terrorist's pals.

— Tony Parsons (@TonyParsonsUK) June 8, 2017

those of you who still think your leader has no baggage, you haven't faintest idea what's going on. You're bankrupt https://t.co/mDlUIDzn1H

— John McTernan (@johnmcternan) June 9, 2017

a rare total-shitbag twofer, with special bonus moran content

Good lad Rodders. Long live the Liddle. #DogsAtPollingStations pic.twitter.com/9xFjL2VhD8

— Katie Hopkins (@KTHopkins) June 8, 2017

Liddle rod

wow, nice to still find something I agree with Caitlin on

I can't remember an election where so many @Conservatives posters have been defaced or torn down. What has changed?

— Daniel Hannan (@DanielJHannan) June 8, 2017

makes u think

This based on 68% of 18-24s definitely voting. Either Survation, or the 7 other polsters with big Tory leads, should fold on Friday morning. https://t.co/SjOPcTV3Rn

— Tom Newton Dunn (@tnewtondunn) June 8, 2017

How about you resign immediately you deranged toxic lickspittle.

paul dacre's not on twitter of course but this feels accurate

Goddamn motherfucking son of a cunty whore fuck fuck motherfucker cunt cunt shit fucking cockjuggling thundercunting fuck-a-doodle shits.

— Paul Dacre (@PaulDacreDM) June 8, 2017

Do we need an inverse of this thread for e.g. applauding Matt Zarb-cousin obligingly appearing out of nowhere as this fully-formed oracle of Labour optimism and being completely right about nearly all of it, and verbally obliterating dickheads left right and centre in the process

And I guess Bastani being a bit vindicated and Owen J seemingly resisting the temptation to turn into a full cunt wrecker and getting onside again

Cannot fucking wait for the next David Squires strip.

Lynton Crosby rn: pic.twitter.com/EH3B8R5oTP

— David Squires (@squires_david) June 9, 2017

Despite the poll surge, Labour's canvass returns remain grim and the party is braced for big losses. Me @LabourUncut https://t.co/DtobBJ8R6B

— Atul Hatwal (@atulh) June 5, 2017

GET IT RIGHT UP YE HATWAL

All fine to pile up votes in safe seats but this is Labour's third successive general election defeat - and against a dire Tory campaign https://t.co/6iASqCJzeq

— Jason Cowley (@JasonCowleyNS) June 9, 2017

well then we know what happens next

Ticketed this morning in Corbyn's constituency. £130. So it begins... pic.twitter.com/NwCVQxvc97

— Giles Coren (@gilescoren) June 9, 2017

Ok lets get on now. Or should we continue arguing? The haves and the havenots? Labour votors did well but lost. Still angry?Yes they are

— Jim Davidson (@JimDOfficial) June 9, 2017

Its been good tweeting bit sick of being called racist wife beating unfunny and worse. But it pays well and it has mostly been fun

— Jim Davidson (@JimDOfficial) June 9, 2017

how is jim davidson not dead yet

So leftitst's it's OK for Corbyn to be pals with Hamas who are anti gay, but not for Theresa May to be pals with the DUP? Cheers got it now.

— Lee Hurst (@2010LeeHurst) June 9, 2017

i remember when corbyn proposed coalition with hamas, right surprising it were

Now choosing to believe that lee hurst begins every tweet "so leftist's"

leftitst's even!

leftitis

In a cafe, chatting about the election. Two girls come over - "OK, we're going, we can't sit next to a posh cunt Tory twat."

Britain, 2017.

— Tim Dawson (@Tim_R_Dawson) June 9, 2017

getting this framed

this jarring reminder of lee hurst's existence has made me wonder what the rest of the they think it's all over make of this election result

two girls otm

sadly perpetual ilx punchline rory mcgrath has not yet weighed in :(

in a country, chatting about the election. two tories come over, "get out, we're not willing to co-exist with anyone who isn't the same race"

britain, 2017

britain, 1650-present

two girls one oh hang on there's no good continuation of this is there

i've seen that total creep appear in my timeline before - some people shouldn't be given the engagement they seek.

Senior Tory MP: "We all f***ing hate her. But there is nothing we can do. She has totally f***ed us".

— Robert Peston (@Peston) June 9, 2017

this jarring reminder of lee hurst's existence has made me wonder what the rest of the they think it's all over make of this election result

― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Friday, June 9, 2017 3:59 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Lineker may have voted labour this time, though he didn't explicitly say so. Pretty sure David Gower is a tory, but as far as I know the stylish left-hander doesn't make a thing of it. Nick Hancock I picture as the sort of guy that would have been stridently #corbynout for two years, but is spending today laughing at tory embarassment and Theresa May. Rory McGrath is such a dick that I actively want him to be a tory, but I don't think he actually is.

As a native of Cambridge you hear many stories of mcgrath's cuntishness even before the recent business, no idea how he votes tho; agree Tory would rhyme pleasingly with both his name and essence, which is that of a baleful, malevolent scotch egg

I prefer this follow-up to the Dawson tweet if only for the claimed identity of the poster.

This did happen, I know exactly where it was, and at what time it was. I also know the owner of the café. #fact https://t.co/K2lmXg84m5

— Binky Bowles-Balls (@TheOnlyGuru) June 9, 2017

'The electorate got it wrong', says Conservative MP @CrispinBlunt. #BBCelection #hungparliament #GE2017 pic.twitter.com/xpEJ3fya73

— BBC Politics (@BBCPolitics) June 9, 2017

these are not anyone famous, just some random people commenting on a Telegraph article, but I feel confident in saying that they are both terrible (also, an irl 'read some effin Orwell')

W1ll1am H0ul1han 9 Jun 2017 9:02PM

I've re-read George Orwell's 1984, after a lapse of over 50 years. It's all there. It's hard to stomach the truth that 40% bought into into the Jezza myth, especially the young. Learn the hard way was my Mum's saying. It looks as though that's just what we must do. A pacifist and a marxist is being applauded. So this is how freedom dies. I lived through the '70s but the future, if May fails, will be far worse.

Jezza's cry of 'We won' is very Orwellian. God help us.

Barbara M1ll3r 9 Jun 2017 9:16PM

@W1ll1am H0ul1han - it should be required reading for the young ...perhaps then in their limited times of sobriety they would finally get it....

definitive proof that all art is ultimately worthless

gonna stick my neck out and guess she hasn't really read it

bcz we need some deeper cuts in this thread:

Just reminded myself of James Bloodworth’s impression of a Welsh miner and now I may never stop laughing. pic.twitter.com/C5B6oMG7ws

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) June 9, 2017

that impression in part:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DB6odeZXUAIE2aj.jpg:large

a two-for-one: matt "who he" ford and nick "the worst wasteman" cohen

Thumping brilliance from @NickCohen4. As invigorating and exciting as listening to a great album: https://t.co/uW67m7umA1

— Matt Forde (@mattforde) March 19, 2017

This is so much fun https://t.co/BwhYLL6Tl2

— Simon (@simonk_133) June 10, 2017

(simonk_133 is lovely btw: follow him at elections to have polls explained to you, he got caught out in 2015 but didn't we all)

cohen again: not as wrong as dan hodges -- no one is -- but nastier about it when he is

Goodbye Labour. For the life of me, I cannot see how you can recover https://t.co/7kZ4Hn1LHV

— Nick Cohen (@NickCohen4) December 28, 2016

eat the book you piece:

3 hours sleep in 36 hours & Corbynistas screaming at me to eat my book. This day is bleak. Still, Westminster looking lovely this eve pic.twitter.com/FnlklnF9eD

— Matthew Goodwin (@GoodwinMJ) June 9, 2017

a well meaning simpleton writes:

DUP top priority will be soft border, saving Good Friday agreement and free movement across boundary. That absolutely rules out hard Brexit

— Polly Toynbee (@pollytoynbee) June 9, 2017

(ok that's^^^ more "overpaid pundit gets everything wrong", but she's old SDP she can gtf)

i need a rafael behr and a john rentoul and a michael white

lol john rentoul

and a john harris! where is my head

tho harris risks opening the door to "80s and 90s rock writers who are VERY RONG abt politics" which
(a) is a long list and
(b) some of them are actually old friends which complicates things

*goes back in on cohen*

when they go low, we go lol

bonus overseas view:

Op-Ed: The British election is a reminder of the perils of too much democracy https://t.co/lXN3HJXOev pic.twitter.com/Mu7IsPgEw4

— Los Angeles Times (@latimes) June 10, 2017

Election result so sweet I read Paul Joseph Lolwhat?son's twitter simply for pleasure. Hope his mums got a good dvd to watch tonight to take his mind off it.

The only offensive bit about that Sun front page was calling Corbyn a Marxist. How dare they compare that plum to Marx?

— Tom Slater (@Tom_Slater_) June 8, 2017

scottish labour centrists (including jk rowling) have been mysteriously quiet on corbyn's achievement so far

{bookmark fix}

Scottish labour centrists have kept May in power, by advocating tactical voting against the SNP.

Yes, though that has doubled the popcorn as May now effectively has a three-fold coalition to try and keep together of quasi-liberalish Remain Scots, the DUP and English Torydom.

the popcorn is triple, with an aftertaste of ash and wormwood

Might look @ those Momentum parody accounts later - must be some gold at the end of that rainbow.

owen woulda won

A Remoaner writes...

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jun/10/general-election-nothing-to-celebrate-brexit-still-happening-tory-government

she's the writer who couldn't quite work out what is so bad about zero-hours contracts.

she once described me (in print) as an "anarchist"

antichrist

When are The Guardian and New Statesman losing their deposits?

when the coffee runs out

I might just do the Birmingham bit of my job from now and pretend Parliament doesn't exist.

— Jess Phillips (@jessphillips) June 9, 2017

Labour MP fwiw.

Keep this woman in parliament! We need her! https://t.co/7pmdqdOE3i

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 8, 2017

I'm sure once Diane Abbott is back to work she'll be lured back in by the prospect of verbally abusing her

Appraently it was a bit of LJ-style bantz:

What a surprise that joke about how parliament was unravelling is taken by so many as some veiled critique. Chill out. https://t.co/m34ci1Utyi

— Jess Phillips (@jessphillips) June 9, 2017

Strange how they got that impression.

https://mobile.twitter.com/hannahkateboast/status/873090728196362240

https://mobile.twitter.com/jessphillips/status/873132252837924865

andrew lolico:

"'Everything is subordinate to the need to stop Corbyn, including Brexit' one influential Eurosceptic tells me." - Quite right. https://t.co/VduHgCtgxy

— Andrew Lilico (@andrew_lilico) June 10, 2017

^^^niche i know, but the dank fintec foax i follow often tangle w/him

The left's dismal definition of victory: "Labour hasn't formed a govt. But..." Winning means forming a govt. There is no "but". https://t.co/BBii2vessU

— Michael Dugher (@MichaelDugher) June 9, 2017

"dad, husband, curry, skeptic" twitter is the worst twitter

you missed out the worst bit

One of the worst human beings on the planet,

Can someone remind the Socialists they lost?

— Lord Digby Jones (@Digbylj) June 10, 2017

Lol Ya OK Digby Jones we lost, I'm feeling real gutted right now

Digby Jones appointed as a minister by Gordon Brown, lest we forget. Gotta love that big tent

I would vote for any political party that produces a society where someone like Digby Jones is completely irrelevant. Him and every other businessman, large, small, medium-sized.

helen lewis on twitter right now literally arguing the asteroid cover doesn't define the new statesman (bcz more ppl read it on line)

so many layers to this one:

Thanks Allison. I doubt it’ll change their minds. My 13-year-old daughter is a full-blown Corbynista. Won over by the tuition fee promise.

— Toby Young (@toadmeister) June 9, 2017

My piece on the UK election: 'The young aren't the future. The young are the past.' https://t.co/T6OHPIfaGv

— Douglas Murray (@DouglasKMurray) June 9, 2017

That piece is a peach of pique

x-post
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkuWrmxN7hg

Going back over some of the Polly Toynee takes for some entertainment now.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/apr/19/general-election-labour-annihilation-jeremy-corbyn

that's the good stuff

Kickstarter for a bunch of these Guardian/NS takes to be collected into a book!

LOL @ Pearson and Young's children being Corbynistas!!

And Pearson thinking anything that bald cunt writes could convince anybody of anything.

Oh man this is great, just came across this gem now: http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/hung-parliament-yougov-model-not-true-a7764591.html

YouGov has now published its election model, which will update vote share and seats estimates every day, with a lot of explanatory material. (The numbers are slightly different from above.) I do not pretend to understand how the data translates into individual seat results when, even with a huge national sample, there are only 75 respondents per constituency per week. So my views above still stand.

Shouldn't John Rentoul actually ask someone who might know about the bit in bold ;-)

http://e3.365dm.com/17/06/1096x616/b07cffa4c255d538b0ca6f948ef5b02551766ca80f7ab37c84c07adf3f447b33_3976032.jpg

They have listened to the electorate and replaced "strong and stable" with "getting on with the job".

boris does have a point that theresa may is a woman of extraordinary qualities

https://media.tenor.com/images/5f590b44d984ef63f95add7a84b0b401/tenor.gif

Corbyn's success causing brexiteer to consider possibility that EU might actually be good:

http://i.imgur.com/cmOpbBf.png

I have questions about people who profess fear of the country becoming a Marxist dictatorship but I'm too wazzed to articulate them tbh

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DCHTjcOXcAExB9m.jpg:large

not my joke, but if corbs can be held in reserve as a threat like some kind of i don't know trident missile, and all these^^^ plans are dropped, then that's a p sweet result

obviously i'm still largely for fully automated gay space luxury communism and pundit heads on poles

In reality wouldn't the concessions be austerity-lite (only killed 27 disableds this month - congrats!), a few extra billion for the NHS with added creeping privatisation, some minor assistance to ailing Local Authorities. They can't even start to address the decay caused by 7 years of austerity without going at least 3/4 Corbyn themselves, meaning not being the tory scum that they are to a massive degree, which surely isn't going to happen.

i'm still largely for fully automated gay space luxury communism

this is my entire political philosophy tbh

pundit heads on poles a welcome extra but i'm willing to negotiate

this fuckin guy

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DCKS_NjWsAE68_U.jpg:large

think he misunderstands the overlap between his audience and the real world

HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KIDS

http://www.vortex.me/uploads/thumbs/d22d0967e-1.jpg

for 3 seconds you think "it would be interesting to unravel and analyse his politics" and then you think "nah, wasteman, hope he dies"

i mean that assumes that he has an actual stable political worldview and not just 'i love everything that winds up sjws'

the harperson speaketh

Harriet Harman, the former Labour party deputy leader, has said Jeremy Corbyn should take the credit for the party’s success at the general election and she would now expect all Labour MPs to want to serve in his shadow cabinet.

Speaking before a meeting of the parliamentary Labour party (PLP), Harman, who has been in the Commons since 1982, conceded that her earlier doubts about Corbyn’s leadership had been misplaced.

As another influential Labour backbencher, Clive Efford, argued that the existing shadow cabinet deserved to keep their positions, Harman said she would expect former critics in the party to now be happy to serve under Corbyn.

Harman told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme she had been wrong in her assumption that Corbyn could not take the party forward.

“He’s confounded those expectations. Just as, if we’d have lost seats under his leadership, he would have had to take responsibility, we’ve gained seats under his leadership, and he can take the credit for that.”

Harman said the atmosphere among Labour MPs even shortly before the election had been morbid: “We were expecting the Tories to lay waste to us. Instead it turned around and we come back coherent, united.

“The atmosphere is verging from on one hand relief to jubilant, and the Tories are in disarray. And Jeremy Corbyn has to take the credit for that, because he was the leader and he’s gone forward.”

dammit wrong thread

what *is* his deal? He lives in his mother's basement and is wrong about virtually everything and has 600k followers is about all I know

He lives in his mother's basement and is wrong about virtually everything

he is his audience

a powerless little dude with poor social skills terrified that the power he imagines he has will be stolen from him by people who he cannot understand because they are not like him? I dunno, die wasteman die just saves time.

makes u think

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/w221YPENk2A/maxresdefault.jpg

the response to that postulation is, of course, 'no it's not'

hard to imagine C Hitchens attention to this fanboy for long enough to ether him but still you wonder

he's obviously a nakh sock

c hitchens is a nakh sock?

they both would have wished

j/k paul

really hope this is legit and not a hoax (Jackson's twitter bio does describe him as "now a private citizen", so maybe?)

Jeez. Ex-Peterborough MP Stewart Jackson is privately contacting former constituents who've previously called him out on social media. (1/2) pic.twitter.com/SezS3Y2SZh

— Tara Lepore (@taralepore) June 14, 2017

he seems nice

He's extremely not mad. He's actually laughing. This is funny to him.

Paul Joseph Watson piling on huh. Say what you like about Corbyn, but never was there a man so fortunate in his enemies.

https://www.change.org/p/uk-electoral-commission-general-election-fraud-2017?recruiter=87992549&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=autopublish&utm_content=nafta_share_post_title_en_1%3Acontrol

we have a conspiracy theory

It has come to my attention that apart from the normal abuse of our postal voting system, during the General Election 2017 large numbers of students voted twice - once in their university constituency and once in their home constituency.

[citation needed]

This petition will be delivered to:

UK Electoral commission
The Sun News
The Sun
European Parliament

2 more decision makers...

in 2005 i got a polling card for boarding-school in westminster and one in lewisham east. THEY DIDN'T THINK OF THE BOARDING-SCHOOL KIDS

obviously i [REDACTED]

Petition update

Compalints

Due to some complaints from Labour supporters, I have had to remove the work Labour from the title of this petition. It still stands though and we are close to getting 30000 signatures. Please help spread the word.

lot of petty fascists about

lol u went to boarding skool

Compalints

i feel like ilx has been through this xp

Its cool I'm just one of those middle class dudes who rip on private education to look more down to earth and real tbh

typical palace ;)

This is what they call art lessons at a Croydon comprehensive

http://i49.tinypic.com/2u9k1ma.jpg

being clowned itt

Next it'll be "Why shld houses lie empty whilst homeless people sleep on the streets or in shelters?" Let's requisition them!" https://t.co/tzlGXBbbka

— Andrew Lilico (@andrew_lilico) June 15, 2017

the instant memeification... is very good