Seizing back control: The ILX lol brexit is how we're all gonna die thread.

New votes, new thread. Please feel free to change the title.

i want my old thread back

yes I too vote to remain

Start a petition.

I have it on good authority that the new thread will reduce our hosting costs by massive amounts. Imagine what we could do with the savings

backstop:
"oh you don't get me I'm the end of the union": lol brexit is how we're all gonna die

The options on the table are a hard thread, a soft thread, a Norway style thread or no thread at all.

how could a referendum both prevent May's deal AND no deal AND also not have revoke/remain as an option?

I posted in the last thread last week on this, put a collection of shit deals, no deals, and Norways on the ballot along with Remain/Revoke with the proviso that if Remain does not poll above 50% then the top Brexit option wins.

That hopefully prevents a challenge that a Brexit vote split favours remain.

If the 52% vote for anything but remain they will still get a brexit of sorts.

Bye thread, we’ve had some good times & some where I think I was implied to be a tankie?

(Posting here just to confuse Ned)

― gyac, Wednesday, March 27, 2019 2:52 PM (four minutes ago)

It'll take more than that to confuse me. Now, you were saying what about the second Bee Gees album?

Then it gets niche.

Rees-Mogg (Eton) accuses Boles (Winchester) of making a Wykehamist point: "highly intelligent but fundamentally wrong."

Then he throws public school shade on Old Etonian Letwin of being more Winchester than Eton.

Can't see Letwin coming back from that.

— Theo Usherwood (@theousherwood) March 27, 2019

Today in parliament:
- Rees-Mogg accuses Boles and Letwin of not respecting the result of the referendum.
- Boles points out they voted for the Brexit deal, and Rees-Mogg didn’t.
- Rees-Mogg accuses them of not acting like Etonians.

— Henry Mance (@henrymance) March 27, 2019

xp!

The vote on the business motion has gone worse for May than previously (which makes some sense)

westminster has...*checks*...dominic grieve! booyah

also sir peter bottomley and helen whately, idk what their deal is but i'm assuming one-nation tory remain types

Here’s the commons vote link again:
https://commonsvotes.digiminster.com/ Not updated yet though

i dont see anyone there from the tecs of donegal, achill or castlebar

i presume theyve just refused to take their seats right

John Bercow, the Commons Speaker, is now talking about his ruling about “no repeat votes”, that prevented Theresa May from bringing back her meaningful vote before the EU summit.

He says there is talk of the government bringing back the vote on Thursday or Friday next week.

He says that, for this to be allowed, there would have to a substantial change to the motion.

And he says he has instructed the clerks to block any attempt by the government to ge round this ruling by tabling a “notwithstanding” motion - ie, a one-off rule change that would allow the debate to go ahead despite the usual Commons rule.

Bercow restates his ruling that he will only allow a new vote on the Brexit deal if it has changed significantly.
He says he will block any attempt by the government to use a procedural rule change to get round his decision.
This is new, and unexpected. It has probably reduced the chances of the meaningful vote being brought back this week (MV3), and it makes the chance of MV3 never happening a distinct possibility.

this is fine

this is good

what the fuck is going on over there ?

democracy iirc

never meet your tory heroes: bottomley and whately both voted against monday's motion and appear to be massive may lackeys

a "notwithstanding" motion

https://i.imgur.com/LzEAp8C.jpg

I mean this is the Parliament where Labour MPs tabled “an humble address” which iirc petitions the sovereign directly (to force parliament to produce documents)

“If you compared Britain to a sphinx, the sphinx would be an open book by comparison,” Jean-Claude Juncker, president of the European Commission, told the European Parliament on Wednesday at a meeting in Strasbourg, France. “Let’s see how that book speaks over the next week or so.”

I’m a dumb American and am totally baffled by the current situation but he needs to resign for this quote.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/25/Talking_Book.jpg

xxp do they need to do the accent?

good luck uk

John Bercow, the Speaker, is putting eight amendments to a vote.

Here they are. I have taken the summary of what each one says from the Press Association summary I posted earlier. The letters refer to the letters attached to each amendment in the order paper.

B - John Baron’s - No deal

Backed by Conservative MPs John Baron, David Amess, Martin Vickers and Stephen Metcalfe, the motion proposes leaving the European Union without a deal on April 12.

D - Nick Boles’s - common market 2.0

Tabled by Conservatives Nick Boles, Robert Halfon and Andrew Percy and Labour’s Stephen Kinnock, Lucy Powell and Diana Johnson. The motion proposes UK membership of the European free trade association and European Economic Area. It allows continued participation in the single market and a “comprehensive customs arrangement” with the EU after Brexit, which would remain in place until the agreement of a wider trade deal which guarantees frictionless movement of goods and an open border in Ireland.

H - George Eustice’s - Efta and EEA

A motion tabled by Conservative MP George Eustice – who quit as agriculture minister this month to fight for Brexit – proposes remaining within the EEA and rejoining Efta, but remaining outside a customs union with the EU. The motion was also signed by Conservative MPs including former minister Nicky Morgan and head of the Brexit Delivery Group Simon Hart.

J - Ken Clarke’s - Customs union

Requires a commitment to negotiate a “permanent and comprehensive UK-wide customs union with the EU” in any Brexit deal. Tabled by veteran Conservative Europhile Ken Clarke, backed by Labour’s Yvette Cooper, Helen Goodman and chair of the Commons Brexit committee Hilary Benn and Tory former ministers Sir Oliver Letwin and Sarah Newton.

K - Labour’s - Customs union and alignment with single market

Labour has tabled a motion proposing its plan for a close economic relationship with the EU. The plan includes a comprehensive customs union with a UK say on future trade deals; close alignment with the single market; matching new EU rights and protections; participation in EU agencies and funding programmes; and agreement on future security arrangements, including access to the European arrest warrant

L - Joanna Cherry’s - Revocation to avoid no deal

Under this plan, if the government has not passed its withdrawal agreement, it would have to stage a vote on a no-deal Brexit two sitting days before the scheduled date of departure. If MPs refuse to authorise no-deal, the prime minister would be required to halt Brexit by revoking article 50. The motion, tabled by the SNP’s Joanna Cherry, has been signed by 33 MPs including the Conservative former attorney general Dominic Grieve, the Liberal Democrat leader, Sir Vince Cable, Labour’s Ben Bradshaw and all 11 members of the Independent Group.

M - Dame Margaret Beckett’s - Confirmatory public vote

Drawn up by Labour MPs Peter Kyle and Phil Wilson and tabled by former foreign secretary Dame Margaret Beckett with the backing of scores of MPs across the House, this motion would require a public vote to confirm any Brexit deal passed by parliament before its ratification.

O - Marcus Fysh’s - Contingent preferential arrangements

A group of Conservative MPs, including Marcus Fysh, Steve Baker and Priti Patel, have signed a motion that calls for the government to seek to agree preferential trade arrangements with the EU, in case the UK is unable to implement a withdrawal agreement with the bloc.

xps to juncker - honestly thought that said sphincter, which would make more sense, Britain is in many ways like a sphincter.

Aw, Fysh and Cherry got to the vote but not Quince.

`When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea'

Think Bercow might be going too far with that one tbh

I’m a dumb American and am totally baffled by the current situation but he needs to resign for this quote.

― JoeStork, Wednesday, 27 March 2019 15:57 (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why on earth would he have to resign based on that quote

look i'm not saying it would be great if jean-claude juncker performed a flying karate kick on theresa may

however

jean claude van juncker

33 Tories voted against the government in that motion a while ago:
https://commonsvotes.digiminster.com/Divisions/Details/654?byMember=false

The usuals but Stevenson, Streeter and Tredinnick are new I think?

xxp just an exaggerated reaction to a tortured metaphor that I spent too long trying to parse

ive considered it and im sorry now u have to resign im sorry

guys, John Baron is just Trump, how'd you seat him as an MP

at the very least, be rusticated to JoeHeron xp

a man I very much respect and who really helped me and many other children is/was a faithful John Baron voter, says he's a great local MP. quite a low bar but he doesn't seem too bad for a Brexiter

slash Tory

I’m willing to resign from the brexit thread but I’m going to need some concessions.

Lilico jfc

Absolutely I would be, if I were solving some equations & there were intermediate solutions & then a final solution, or similarly if doing a chemistry experiment. Indeed, I come across the term "final solution" used innocently in all kinds of contexts. https://t.co/WQ9VhdqFRm

— Andrew Lilico (@andrew_lilico) March 27, 2019

hmmm

JoeStork is otm, “let’s see how that book speaks”, “that book” being the open book that the Sphinx would be by comparison to Britain presumably? Juncker retire binch iirc

xp we were loling at Lolico & co over here British Right-Wing Pundits

I’m a dumb American, but this shit is impenetrable.

Am I to be hauled over the coals just because I happened to innocently describe some art that was degenerate. I have never read a book and I am drinking paint. Checkmate sjws

meanwhile:

The French must drink less wine, say health officials https://t.co/bp581wI0N6

— The Guardian (@guardian) March 27, 2019

More Americans itt please.

Sorry to post Lilico in the wrong thread, too many days of posting in these threads has melted my brain.

May @ the 1922 at 5, DUP statement at 6, indicative vote shitshow at 7.

More Americans itt please.

Sorry to post Lilico in the wrong thread, too many days of posting in these threads has melted my brain.

May @ the 1922 at 5, DUP statement at 6, indicative vote shitshow at 7.

That's the worst festival lineup ever.

Labour three-line whip in favour of Kyle Walker amendment.

why do they always do parliament at night

I mean that happens in the US Congress as well but I'm pretty sure they at least start in the daytime usually

it's a health and safety issue

many of them will burst into flames if exposed to direct sunlight

why do they always do parliament at night

evil be thou my good, in this essay i will

'Cos they've all got other jobs to do in the daytime (like directorships and consultancy work) that pay better.

I seem to recall Chukka is paid £450 an hour for advising Progressive Centre UK, you've got to find time to pad out yr £80k MPs salary otherwise you'd starve.

There's barely a pick on him anyway.

As an American who followed the early Brexit proceedings fairly closely in FT, I will also note that your current situation is just impenetrable as all hell.

(I'm also just kind of dumb, though, so there's that.)

So can we expect option L to have a fair bit of support given that parliament just voted to take no deal off the table a couple of weeks ago, or is that giving too much credit to the idea that anything means anything

I’m American btw

May will quit after the withdrawal agreement is passed says James Cartlidge emerging from the room

— Dan Sabbagh (@dansabbagh) March 27, 2019

New synonym for "when hell freezes over"

May tipped the wink to Bercow so she gets to stay on forever

George Osborne trolling all Londoners by putting sweaty Gove in shorts & T-shirt on the front of the ES, btw.

“oh yes I hated the deal for all the reasons I have gone on about at length but now the PM has quit the exact same deal is acceptable for reasons”

The ERG is presumably banking on one of their sympathisers being able to control the process once the deal has passed.

So soft-remain Tory MPs and Labour wets have the choice of rejecting the deal and rolling the dice on what comes next or accepting the deal and rolling the dice that whoever takes over from May doesn’t trash the implementation of the deal anyway.

Just imagining the full blown hagiography the lobby are going to give her once she goes, bleurgh.

She may not have been a keen phrenologist with challenging views on race like her successor, but erstwhile Tory moderate and avowed feminist Theresa May...

Theresa May has told Conservative MPs she will not stay as Prime Minister for the next phase of Brexit negotiations.

— Britain Elects (@britainelects) March 27, 2019

Mood in room respectful sombre bloody hot says Mp as May indicated intention to stand down. Thought she was passionate. Neither pm nor chief whip crying

— Ross Hawkins (@rosschawkins) March 27, 2019

But before we can do that, we have to finish the job in hand. As I say, I don’t tour the bars and engage in the gossip – but I do make time to speak to colleagues, and I have a great team in the Whips’ Office. I also have two excellent PPSs.

How Lord Hennessy isn't a rapper's nom de plume god only knows

fuck voting through this deal to give a headbanger the reins for phase 2

pic.twitter.com/wubSEcFFLw

— no context bake off (@nocontextgbbo) March 27, 2019

hollywood for pm

just her way of taking attn off the actual worthwhile business of commons?

and to muddle erstwhile alliances probably

Mood in room respectful sombre bloody hot

That should have been the thread title

anything else shd've been the thread title

when i get this feeling i want Brexual healing

long, slow, lingering, sensual brexit: VONCing it up the wall in the lol we’re all gonna die era

I was thinking of “why yes, Mr Juncker, I’d love you to give us a long extension”

Let me lick you up and down
Til' you say backstop
Let me play with your Speaker, baby, make you real hot

Resignations, a million votes, and not a single clue. At it again. pic.twitter.com/VpHwfDgp8l

— Ireland Simpsons Fans (@iresimpsonsfans) March 27, 2019

I was definitely knowingly putting out the bg-signal when I posted that tweet but let the records show I did not ask for all of this

forget a red-white-and-blue brexit, we want a pink, purple and pearly white brexit

DUP spokesman says: "There is no statement scheduled."

— Christopher Hope (@christopherhope) March 27, 2019

throbbing, veiny Brexit

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2484/3167/1600/02%20Me%20%26%20Emma%20with%20Mr%20Blobby.jpg

turgid

mr blobby’s been on a diet and he’s loving life xp

this guy knows what's happening:
https://i.imgur.com/TS7SxDM.jpg?1

https://imgur.com/gallery/5C6i4

jesus god almighty

o

m

g

rapidly softening brexit

I’m not linking any of the nsfw ones but by God they exist.

I'm glad the UK's going out like this, it's what it would've wanted

Putting the uk in bukkake

bring back xyzzzz ffs

the full cast poster, yknow what ive seen lazier biopic casting tbf

Was just gonna post it

xp are you saying it’s time for the tanks to roll into this thread?

so are the options currently being debated whilst the entire tory party are elsewhere or what

tanks, but no tanks etc

That all starts at 7.

and finishes at nein nest pas

we really should've started 8 new threads today just for conceptual consistency

has nobody polled em yet

so not gonna happen

Breaking: first images of tonight's #indicativevotes papers ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/XVTB0jJQKm

— Commons Press Office (@HoCPress) March 27, 2019

Delay vote on now.

When do we know the results?

are they milling around or all sitting quietly doing their quizzes

I’m not sure, there’s a debate on it now and the Labour whips account said around 9pm, but that was a lot earlier...

xp they’re standing up and asking questions of varying degrees of length and comprehensability

Indicative results still expected 9 ish atm

these indicative votes can likely just be ignored by the government?

unless they can't, nobody knows

THE MEMBERS OPPOSITE SEEM TO BE SUGGESTING WE SHOULD GET RID OF THE QUEEN

lmao angela eagle calling for abolition of the monarchy and mark francois shits his pants

brexit has me really wishing i could completely disengage from politics in dear auld shitey, but alas i cannot

Normal WhatsApp conversations of our time

Great ERG readouts of our time pic.twitter.com/Z9n31njD2H

— Alex Wickham (@alexwickham) March 27, 2019

Bill Cash is Troubled.

The director is doing very well with the reaction shots today.

Someone cave the roof in before he stops talking.

Barry Gardiner shamed in the chamber!

everything is unprecedented at this point I have just found interesting cathy newman interviewing nicky morgan and jess phillips and anna soubry four people I find quite repellent

brexit has me really wishing i could completely disengage from politics in dear auld shitey, but alas i cannot

― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, March 27, 2019 3:52 PM (fifty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

delete from "in" to the comma and i'll vote for this.

me every time i hear the news pic.twitter.com/bHqkuTO3td

— Y Barry Horns (@thebarryhorns) March 27, 2019

Appalling news for Number 10 - full statement - doesn’t deal with Treaty level changes she said pic.twitter.com/99YMWv4tS8

— Faisal Islam (@faisalislam) March 27, 2019

"Appalling news for Number 10"

❤️❤️❤️

It's getting late and MPs are getting tired. Mark Francois getting heckled by Ed Vaizey
"He can read!...
"You're doing well...
"Is this a speech?" pic.twitter.com/tcI54gmwsP

— Daniel Kraemer (@dcakraemer) March 27, 2019

Voting on the delay now finally & results for the indicatives due soon after I’d say.

Lol still counting

tom kibasi worth listening to on tysky sour. not sure if they offer it as a podcast? on youtube, if not

A government minister voted to revoke :o

I'm missing "Who Killed Rasputin?" for this bollocks

105 headbangers is quite a lot

A government minister voted to revoke :o

Tory Brexiteer Steve Baker to the ERG in Parliament tonight: “I could tear this place down and bulldoze it into the river.” Whatever that is, it’s not conservatism.

— George Eaton (@georgeeaton) March 27, 2019

No abstention. This deal’s dead.

The DUP do not abstain on the Union. https://t.co/l4oSPj75V2

— Nigel Dodds (@NigelDoddsDUP) March 27, 2019

I keep a browser window on Commons all day lately and I'm still baffled by what's going on. What was this vote that just finished?

To extend to the 12th April.

still a chance TM leads them into another GE. banter heuristic demands it

this is low-balling the banter heuristic IMO

Ugh where are these damn results? I’m old, I want to get into bed already.

Tearing the place down...with tanks.. 👍

I hear that at 4am tomorrow a group of ardent Brexiteers will descend on Parliament Sqaure and replace all the EU flags left overnight by Remainers with their own custom-made EU flags, only they’ll symbolically have one star missing. I’ve seen one of the replacement EU flags.

— Michael Crick (@MichaelLCrick) March 27, 2019

there he is! xp

Just carrying out the will of the people

i would say this, but Ros Atkins is smashing the coverage on Outside Source on the BBC News channel

anything else shd've been the thread title

― The Xylems of the Limes (Noodle Vague)

Titles are not my forte, for sure.

Lol these are all gonna be No

haha i just got tricked into clicking on an ian dunt article, the insanity* is out of control

*me being tired after the block AGM

Lol no deal voted down yet again, what a waste of time

Ref 2 the most popular i think:D

they all failed, what a waste of time & paper

lol

Jesus wept

Rematch on Monday with the worst 4 or 5 dropped

sounds like Parliament are opposed to Brexit

Amazing

Ref 1.5 most popular, Customs Union second, neither meaningfully stronger than MV2, let's ask for a 5 year extension while we thrash this thru

Victory for option A

Brexxxit is Hard

going to truncate a tweet pasted into the Graun liveblog, for my amusement:

Speaker has walked out suspending proceedings until the indicative votes are counted. But Tories are furiously pointing to the mace

strongly favouring option xyzzzzx atm watching this muck

Knew you'd come around gyac.

Can we re-open the previous thread those were more innocent times

May genuinely mad at the SNP for saying she’s failed at providing leadership, lol

vote options T, A, N, K, and S

genuine scenes here

The rule should be that if you see Gapes, he should ha e to speak

he'll only eulogise options M, I, L, and K

The SNP abstained on the Customs Union and could have carried it. Twats.

Probably in return for Labour not supporting the revoke amendment. Not enough horses traded.

Second referendum more popular than May's deal.

A Labour front-bencher may've resigned did they say?

TIG, 2 Lib Dems & 4 labour MPs voted against Corbyn’s deal.

10 TIG votes went against the customs union motion and could have passed it.

xp Melanie Onn, maybe? Voted against Beckett amendment.

Lol at Boles and Kinnock having no mates

take the kinnocks bowling, take them them bowling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V58dOl84MaI

Labour MPs who abstained or voted against ⁦@peoplesvote_uk⁩ pic.twitter.com/TsoORlSVZu

— Alastair PEOPLE’S VOTE Campbell (@campbellclaret) March 27, 2019

Wait, what did the Brits think was going to happen in the indicative votes? Of course none got a fucking majority, if that was going to happen it would be done already. The point was to get a ranking and then put the better ones the to a preference procedure.

— Colman (@colmanareilly) March 27, 2019

I think the organisers of the vote understand this well. The chance of the median mp or journocrat getting it, well...

— Alex Harrowell (@yorksranter) March 27, 2019

bill fucking cash says that tonight's indicative votes like "the whelk stall being run by the whelks".

whelks in the other kinds of tank

i mean, i know you are bill but what am i

Reading the results in detail, Labour could have got a number of those well over the line.

the idea wasn't to get anything over the line it was to set up a runoff afaict?

So if I understand the situation, Theresa May doesn't have enough support to resign successfully.

— Liam Kirkaldy (@HolyroodLiam) March 27, 2019

wait i just found out the EU banned memes, i am bill cash's whelk now

the idea wasn't to get anything over the line it was to set up a runoff afaict?

Would Ken Clarke's option or the PV win the runoff, do we think? Presuming it's just those two in the running now

lol what scenes what scenes bercow for british taoiseach

Clarke could win the runoff if the SNP support it; difficult to see what soft votes are left to be switched behind PV.

xp how would you feel if I told you Bercow is an Arsenal fan

id believe u

Bercow, Corbyn AND Comrade Alphabet - a coalition of short-passing connoisseurs

Is Clarke's a leave-in-name-alone option, or would it result in concrete changes to people's lives

none of these votes count til Monday, so no point worrying about it now. Customs union solves NI I think? Maybe? Anyway, here’s Bercow on Arsenal fan tv.
https://youtu.be/ifQxEurjiDo

customs union would negate need for hard border is my understanding

none of these votes matter as such if we can trust in May's obduracy

'round here usually when the executive ignores the law it's at least a little bit clandestine and remote from the legislature, like CIA black sites or waging undeclared drone wars, but May ignoring what Parliament says Brexit means would be pretty uh ballsy

its explicit that these are non binding and exploratory in nature, i think the intention really is to sincerely see what might achieve consensus

insisting that it bind would narrow the freedom, as whipping would almost certainly exert a greater influence

whether parliament has the will if consensus majority were achieved to force may to execute is doubtful tho?

If it gets to the point that there are sufficient votes to compel May to follow parliament it will be exceedingly bizarre if a VONC can’t be won. Which means it’s a cert.

"Why won't the Labour leadership support a referendum?" is already becoming the "when's International Men's Day?" of Brexit discourse, I see.

Stephen Kinnock, the son of a former EU Commissioner and husband of the former Danish PM, abstained on the referendum vote. Bet that's going to be fun at Christmas.

I’m really stuck on something. The Labour position...is it really as split as it seems or is there a looooooong maneuver happening?

— wheatus (@wheatus) March 28, 2019

wheatus............ thank,s

xp Labour have proposed motions with a 2nd ref at least three times now and none of them have passed. Totally accurate comparison.

Honestly think the 2nd ref crowd should throw in behind soft Brexit options and revoke; if you get the house to support a soft Brexit (which I think is entirely plausible), the next argument is surely “why bother at all?”

"Why won't the Labour leadership support a referendum?" is already becoming the "when's International Men's Day?" of Brexit discourse, I see.

"Why aren't the English allowed to celebrate St George's Day the way the Irish celebrate St Patrick's Day?"

the idea wasn't to get anything over the line it was to set up a runoff afaict?

Yes, which makes it even more surprising just how close some of them got to outright majority.
― stet, Wednesday, March 27, 2019 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

How does this runoff work? Is the least popular options dropped off and then we go again or what?

Why would that change anything? MPs were already not restricted to only voting for just one thing (though I'd be fascinated to see how many did)

they want to do ranked preferences on Monday too. don't ask me why they didn't do that yesterday

Last night's results might embolden a few people and get them off the fence, plus it's highlighted the best Stop No Deal options. A second bite at the Cherry Amendment might get it a few more votes as well.

I guess the deal making that didn't happen yesterday between the SNP and Labour can happen in subsequent votes.

the two that commanded most support: permanent customs Union and confirmatory vote. You could bundle those two things together. but as gyac notes, if that's what you're doing, why bother leaving in the first place?

Because 17.4 million blah blah blah but I am wondering why these people, unique to all voters, are allowed to have their satisfaction ringfenced?

Conservative Home named what it considered to be the leadership front runners and obvious candidates.

James Cleverly, David Davis, Liam Fox, Michael Gove, Matt Hancock, Mark Harper, Jeremy Hunt, Sajid Javid, Boris Johnson, Brandon Lewis, Esther McVey, Priti Patel, Dominic Raab, Amber Rudd, Rory Stewart, Tom Tugendhat, Elizabeth Truss, Gavin Williamson

They also have a list of 12 questions any prospective leadership candidate must answer and why, and I’m dying at these ones:

You have a choice of attending a Channel 4 party or mixing in a provincial pub bar. Look us in the eye and tell us at which you feel more at home, and why?

And if you think we need less of it – or that it must be constrained, in the One Nation tradition – how will you win “the battle of ideas” against Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour?

TBH the funniest thing about last night was the DUP catching Boris Johnson with his pants down, he's alienated Hard Brexiters and committed to supporting a deal he knows will fail. Dude would be an atrocious poker player.

Conservative Home named some Tories they'd heard of.

xp don’t be so sure, he’s proven indestructible so far.

Most eye opening detail I learned from Yesterday in Parliament: some MPs tried in vain to start a Mexican wave before the indicative vote results came back. I mean, where to start?

— Owen Gibson (@owen_g) March 28, 2019

They were the Independent Group MPs!

I know Boris has said a lot of things in the past and none of it actually matters but i remember him vehemently maintaining that he didn't care if Northern Ireland stayed part of the UK and that it should be put to a democratic vote, about ten years ago, in one of his comedy quiz show appearances. I'm sure someone has dug that up or will shortly.

This is only something that people will care about on the right side of the Irish Sea.

Honestly think the 2nd ref crowd should throw in behind soft Brexit options and revoke; if you get the house to support a soft Brexit (which I think is entirely plausible), the next argument is surely “why bother at all?”

― gyac, Thursday, 28 March 2019 07:20 (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and the loudest voices among the askers will likely be the erg

Customs Union isn't really soft Brexit though. No FoM no credibility tbh.

Interesting how EFTA/EEA (which is now being talked about as dead) has the fewest Tory no votes of all the sane options, and barely any Labour votes at all on either side. That's the softest Brexit on the paper; hope it survives until Monday

Westminster apparently stopped even mentioning FoM a few months ago, I don't know if it's a deliberate attempt to avoid talking about immigration because they've realised that no one will win - least of all Brexiters. It's all been about trade, regulation, workers rights etc.

presuming that its one of mays reddest lines then its entirely of a piece with the rest of them that it hasnt received any attention

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/mar/27/eu-to-stop-mediterranean-migrant-rescue-boat-patrols

Europe isn't that keen on FoM either.

perform your civic duty and vote Who will be next Tory leader?

Die Welt has a Bercow interview, and this extremely direct question will no doubt cheer up the Bercow haters itt.

WELT: You are now considered one of the most liberal and cross-party politicians. This is remarkable because, as a youngster, you started your political career in a right-wing xenophobic group. How this process devoloped and what made you change?

Bercow's response: "BLOBBY BLOBBY BLOBBY" (screamed)

Sorry imago you will have to strike him off your good Tory list now.

Get a room tbh

Yes imago and the Tory party will need to get a room otm

bercow is committed to the best* working of parliament as a machine to produce political effects, which is a materialist praxis and therefore good even when the effects are bad

*or better say crunchiest, since a lot of what's being ground to pieces currently seems to the spectacular norms of the last three decades

there are no good tories but there are certainly shades of bad

if we can't distinguish we'll never be able to turn them against each other

Trying to get Tories to destroy themselves ain't it

the longer this goes on the bigger labour’s majority will be

Is imago the most right wing person to post itt? I wouldn’t have said so.

Without giving further grist to comréid aibítir’s mill, Boris has another opinion.

Today’s ⁦@EveningStandard⁩ exclusive: Boris tells friends May’s deal is dead & Kane at the palace pic.twitter.com/pwj1b5pLhz

— George Osborne (@George_Osborne) March 28, 2019

lol, you need to update your centristilxors.xls

No but there are shades of right wing. xp

Stewart has come across better than any other Tory I've noticed appearing on TV more often lately except Grieve maybe. No bearing on this poll, their actual records and beliefs, launch them all into the sun etc.

But he’s also been wheeled out as the apologist for May’s deal and is an OE.

xp argh meant for other thread

stewart was the gollum laughing at DA on QT

his book on trekking across afghanistan is good but

I was suggesting xyz might want to get a room with himself fwiw

thanks for your concern wins but I'm cool.

a room with a vw

Guys this is boring and I'm banning you both from this thread for a few days if you don't stfu.

Do what you have to I won't keep quiet if I am talked to like that.

can't believe anyone can merrily wade through hundreds of worthless posts of clueless brexit venting only to object to such zesty theatre

gentlemen, you can't fight in here...

Lol we need clear heads in the Brexit thread

my last post was a pun, not an escalation attempt

it was very good.

Oh I know I just observed your wit with silence that time no comebacks, just talking in general. I am message board pro and respond when talked to, most of the time. xp

nah yr tiresome with the lj stuff tbrr

Is imago the most right wing person to post itt? I wouldn’t have said so.

Without giving further grist to comréid aibítir’s mill, Boris has another opinion.

imo the switch to gaeilge is a j'accuse!

Matt otm this beef is the most useless part of this thread and it isn’t even close, sorry ogmor we took a vote

thought that mdc was carrying it on by hitching his st(f)u to your vw

room with a vw was vg tbf

I bought the book recently

the PPL+AI=NS and xyzzzz__ stuff is fine

https://i.imgflip.com/152otz.jpg

The cliff edge is fine.

I'm now so obsessed with Bercow saying "Mr Peter Bone" that I've spent a period of time setting it to the opening of Beethoven's 5th. Brexit is literally driving me mad. pic.twitter.com/P5w31OWkWi

— Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) March 28, 2019

amazing

I am posting from the public gallery can I get a hear hear for beer

Hear, hear!

*shakes order paper*

What are you there to watch?

I came to watch business this morning; mainly I want to come tomorrow but wanted to figure out what’s involved first. Staff expect it to be rammed tomorrow

Is it first come first served when it's that busy?

xp oh that’s cool. Are you there on a guest pass? You should go see the portraits of female MPs tomorrow in portcullis house (if that’s still going).

Is imago the most right wing person to post itt? I wouldn’t have said so.

The red square in the corner of my screen tells me the alphabet fascist is still posting. Also, this thread is confusing today.

If you are annoyed or don't want to read my posts do what Denmark's greatest internet film critic has.

You might not be as confused by things, that's just him.

Comrade alphabet’s posts are very much a guilty pleasure and add much needed flavour to this thread imo.

OTM

imago's add a certain something too, Fred needn't bother

Yeah it’s v much first come first served (there’s a special area for invited guests though). Once you have a seat you can keep it for as long as your bladder holds out - as the toilets are outside the ticketed area you have to get a new ticket to return.

Good shout on the exhibition gyac thanks

Stet, I’m really sorry, I didn’t check & the exhibition ended last month =( but so definitely check out the weird gift shops.

the toilets are outside the ticketed area

proposed thread title change (viz "the brexit toilets are outside the ticketed area: we're all gonna die lol" obv)

ffs mark how many times do i have to tell u the phrase is 'lol we're all gonna die'

The gift shops are immense, ha! Buy a PoW floor tile, only £115.

I posted a card in the postbox in the lobby. MPs have it made.

Did you take a look at the Speaker’s gin? I also have it on good authority that the Lords shop has some fancy small batch one only available there.

Meanwhile, the ginspiration himself has just denied MV3 again, lol we’re all gonna die

xxp all of them i expect

Govt officials have told @SCFGallagher that new porn laws that will see all X-rated websites require age verification from UK users will now NOT be introduced on 1 April https://t.co/ufMq9CQwL7

— Jess Brammar (@jessbrammar) March 28, 2019

Like how else were they going to roll this out or enforce it in any meaningful way? How would this not end the government in hours?

tbf usage has plummeted since damian green resigned

I would never killfile anyone but *looks around, can't see Matt 'Bercow' DC* when I get called not the sharpest tool in the box and then someone that nobody cares the opinion of on two consecutive days you have to expect me to get a little, how do the kids say, salty. Nothing more than the everyday quid pro quo of parliamentary politics tbh

Take responsibility for the thrash you post lj.

the fuck is matt rn

I do! Everything I post to UK politics threads should come with the disclaimer 'I am less knowledgeable than most of you about this stuff and am merely road-testing ideas'

Anyway I vote uneasy truce before we're both given the boot. Decent hardworking people have a porn ban revocation to discuss!

Darragh nothing is going on in parliament rn what is this to you? xp

Lads can we all just calm down and unite on the common goal of resisting Fred intrusions to this hallowed thread pls

wait till he needs a pee and then don't let him back in

I'm very calm. Just posting as I always do.

i dont see whether anything is going on in parliament rn or not is anything to do with why someone wouldnt want to see one of the few busy with content threads left on the site fucked up with persistent catty adhom rubbish tbh

Several convos are going on the thread as always. Plenty for you to get busy with. If something is dominating it passes after a while calm down Darragh.

Eh, as long as you're part of the EU you're bound to the Four Freedoms, of which the Freedom of Shitposting is surely the most important.

im very calm. just posting as i always do.

Good to know man. Appreciate the feedback on my posting.

no deal now

this is fine

xyzzz = id
imago = superego
Fred = some kind of catatonia idk

I mean it has to be said that imago tear where he wrote something furious about xyzzzzz’s books or whatever was hilarious? I would have printed that off and stuck it on my wall if I were xyzzzzz, which of course I am, as well as being SV.

careful gyac youll have twu in here in a mo

I enjoyed that post gyac. There is definitely a cuckoo clock in there..

It's five o'clock and you're still a prick!

pax pax j/k everyone chill

ffs get a room you two

I’m very calm? Just posting as I always do...

vote ON tomorrow

time to get 1x big bag of cans and post as you always do

What the fuck? I mean I’ve read the previous raft of stuff posted on the guardian liveblog and still, what the fuck?

**BERCOW STATEMENT KLAXON**
The govt motion for tomorrow's debate does comply so it can happen - as it only covers the Withdrawal Agreement not the Political Declaration

— Rob Powell (@robpowellnews) March 28, 2019

Keir Starmer is tweeting about how this is all bullshit rn

There are four key reasons why you cannot separate the Withdrawal Agreement from the Political Declaration. 1/

— Keir Starmer (@Keir_Starmer) March 28, 2019

What the Government is doing is not in the national interest and that’s why we will not support it tomorrow. 6/

— Keir Starmer (@Keir_Starmer) March 28, 2019

she’s shown a staunch unwillingness til now to ignore everything except that which is statutorily mandated... afaik the EU withdrawal act explicitly links the WA and PD so she’s moved onto the ignoring statute part of her increasingly authoritarian premiership

Lol the bold young Bercow takes any excuse to cave

Otoh good, the sooner MV3 gets tanked the better, really

lol DUP voting against (obvs)

*tents fingers in a pleased manner*

The UK could well have three elections in 2019 - with a fighting chance of a fourth, too | @stephenkb https://t.co/DrSdRNS2Kj

— i views (@ipaperviews) March 28, 2019

Oh so you're the guy

there's a faint possibility that Australia's unelected PM decides to hold the Senate and House Of Reps votes separately this year so that he can stay in power longer, I am totally in favour of voting three times this year (home state had its election four days ago. not that my ballot has arrived yet, but still)

lines from MPs to the things they voted for in the IVs

https://alexandreafonso.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/untitled90-1.png?w=1024&h=1024

any wags voting in favor of everything

The wives and girlfriends are sick of it all

I guess the deal making that didn't happen yesterday between the SNP and Labour can happen in subsequent votes.

So Jezza kicks the off the delicate negotiations by tweeting that the SNP caused Thatcher.

sounds productive

In my replies today, a number of people have expressed their delight at Bercow saying the name "Bambos Charalambous", which of course prompts me to do the following, which probably won't last on here longer than 2 minutes but it's worth a crack. pic.twitter.com/Ew0cDY4yQ0

— Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) March 28, 2019

https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/mar/28/withdrawal-agreement-separation-brexit-theresa-may-election

This is truth bomb after truth bomb.

I guess the deal making that didn't happen yesterday between the SNP and Labour can happen in subsequent votes.
So Jezza kicks the off the delicate negotiations by tweeting that the SNP caused Thatcher.

― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Thursday, March 28, 2019 12:41 PM (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sassanach twat

Bambos is usually short for Charalambos so I think his name might actually be Charalambos Charalambos.

It is

yes, tom kibasi's a very perceptive commentator. mentioned it upthread but this is worth a listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9NFrzSkioA

xp

yeah, that JC post was not helpful, however questionable the SNP's voting was last night.

The SNP have not once missed a chance to attack Labour in this Parliament so I’m not really going to slag JC off on that? Just totally cynical operation.

JC is a bit clueless on scotland but he likely knows that labour had lost their majority in 1976 and promised a devolution referendum to the snp to prop up their government, they then put in amendment to the act that 40% of the total electorate had to vote for it, rather than a simple majority. it failed due to that amendment. it was a betrayal. the people who ended up really helping thatcher in power were the english electorate.

the SNP, as useless a big-tent managerial centrist party as it is, is meant to represent voters in scotland. voters in scotland didn't vote for brexit. it's their mandate to oppose it.

people in scotland know it’s ahistorical nonsense though. it echoes foulkes-esque nonsense and riles up ppl he should be looking to attract

they need better lines on the SNP but fear UK LAB are getting direction from the (borderline-inept) SLAB on that

there was a non-zero amount of people in scotland (and the SNP membership) who voted leave. they should at least have supported some of the compromise motions. instead they chose “stop brexit or, if it is to happen, it should be as disruptive as possible”

strikes me that their support for a second referendum could set them quite a dangerous precedent

yeah but for some reason people itt are completely wedded to the idea that for political reasons labour can't oppose brexit and that labour are playing a blinder, but conversely can't believe that seeking to represent a country in which every region voted remain, where you have lots of marginal seats, backing brexit would be politically harmful for the snp

chances of a scottish independence referendum happening in the next 10 years or so must be perishingly slim, sturgeon seems to have accepted that

I’m not suggesting the SNP should back Brexit? If a GE happens & the SNP take back the labour gains and therefore the Tories stay in, that’s no good for the second referendum either. But if you want to remain, part of bringing people with you should be ruling out various options as you go - and if you can’t get to where you want to, get the least damaging outcome? Labour and the SNP are in very different places on Brexit in part because the political costs to them are very different.

labour's results in scotland will never be what determines the general election. they did poorly last time round, gaining half the seats of the tories.

i don't believe snp should back a soft brexit, it goes against what they've been saying the whole time and would be politically costly.

But for most of the time since the referendum Labour backing remain/revoke/2nd ref would have been too?

If a Brexit is unavoidable it would be better to not have the version directed by the ERG, no?

the SNP published a white paper (two?) on compromise proposals and had compromise as their position in their GE17 manifesto?

The SNP have not once missed a chance to attack Labour in this Parliament

Sticks in the craw this given that the Tories are now the main opposition in Scotland, but it's what you expect from cunts like the Lib Dems and the SNP.

the snp manifesto was for a vote on independence when the Brexit terms were established, which seems very quaint now

ni voted remain sayin

it makes sense though, in the current context, because it gives them an easily communicable position in a GE

If you don't spend every waking hour attacking the Tories and all they stand for you're dead to me tbh.

redmondite snp!

(does that even work, gyac?)

they then put in amendment to the act that 40% of the total electorate had to vote for it, rather than a simple majority. it failed due to that amendment. it was a betrayal.

You mean like Remainers think should have happened in the EU Referendum?

... or something similar.

the UN later used it as a teaching example for anti democratic things not to do when you run a referendum

Yes, better off with a simple majority, no arguments there.

If footballer managers were UK MPs, a thread

— Mark White (@markwhlte) March 27, 2019

Simon Bercow: Unai Emery

Trying to hold a fractured organisation together (Parliament/Arsenal), both are considered generally good guys without having hugely progressive philosophies. Both have a problem with egos around them (leading Tories/Neymar). pic.twitter.com/g6VWvSvqA2

— Mark White (@markwhlte) March 27, 2019

Hunt/José very otm

knew who may would be before opening

we all did

If you don't spend every waking hour attacking the Tories and all they stand for you're dead to me tbh.

― Don't Go Back to Brockville (Tom D.

For two (three?) successive elections the SNP have openly stated they will do whatever it takes wrt coalitions to keep the Tories out of Downing Street. Labour have consistently rejected the possibility of working with them. In these days of hung parliaments and narrow majorities that means Labour keeps Tories in power.

There's got to be a better Sarri than Arlene Foster.

(xp) Apologies if I've overlooked all those possible Labour/SNP coalition governments that the Labour Party have scuppered over the last 10 years.

I feel sick from anxiety.

why is everyone pretending that the political declaration is an agreement on the future relationship? it's not. it's a vague set of aspirations. future rlship would all have to be fought over later regardless!

Varoufakis talkin sense on QT

"this is the kind of deal that you only sign if you're a country defeated in war"

Varoufakis reminds me of Bojack Horseman... Somehow.

He's been mostly right here though. Jfc Damian Hinds is awful isn't he?

Varoufakis with allllll the truth bombs.

You've gone on Question Time you're not right

I'm having to switch this off, I can't stand Damien Fuckface beginning every single sentence with "So..."

that's my word

QT is bad and if you're watching it yr judgment is bad hence my distrust of varoufakis stands w/o me having to watch and check if he's right abt anything

(xp) You're not on telly though.

what's the odds actual money odds now on no deal

12/5 no deal brexit in 2019

via paddy power

No (Withdrawal Agreement is ratified, Article 50 extended beyond 2019 or Article 50 revoked) = 3/10
Yes (UK leave the EU in 2019 without Withdrawal Agreement in place) 12/5

ty

ive a close friend in dfa who this evening has told me to lump on, whatever hes heard.

i wont but hey ~intrigue~

A diplomatic note of today's meeting seen by @BuzzFeedNews says that in event of a no-deal exit, the EU will have three pre-conditions before starting trade talk.

One of them is the Northern Ireland backstop https://t.co/T7xYccLlWR pic.twitter.com/fyOdn0HUdR

— Stuart Millar (@stuartmillar159) March 28, 2019

well

i think it may have come up before now tbftteu

QT is wrong it's true. i found myself staring down the barrel of a pulsating rees-mogg on the first channel so i think my judgement could be questioned on all fronts frankly.

lmao

2016:
“Let’s take back control”

2019:
“What’s happening?”
“Fuck knows. I’m past caring. It’s like the living dead in here.” pic.twitter.com/jQICPr5ki4

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 28, 2019

New board description

Seconded, cabinet minister otfm.

lol at that cartoon someone posted in that twitter thread, from the Sun 2 years ago

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D2ySgTSUYAk_x8V.jpg:large

(allegedly, that is - I have no idea of it's provenance)

Oh, it is https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/opinion/2848046/uk-dealt-aces-after-calling-remain-bluff-on-brexit/

"Perhaps to her own surprise, it is Mrs May who has emerged as Europe’s most formidable political leader"

lool, that aged well.

It's a fun snaphshot of the press at the time. There's even a 'don't let our squaddies face justice for murder' bit!

Also take some time today to think of arseholes who spent money on "Brexit Day" parties.

no need to start hostilities with comrade alphabet so early

That cheers me up a bit. x-post

Stet, you may know this already but the remain protestors are avoiding parliament today because the leave means leave crowd are getting there. Not sure what time you (or they) are getting there, but just a heads up in case it gets nasty.

There's 11 protests around Westminster apparently, two of them with Tommy Robinson.

bust him up be safe Stet

The Guardian report yesterday seemed to suggest that the EU's No Deal crisis planning involves... allowing Northern Ireland to work in regulatory alignment with the rest of the EU and establishing a de facto border in the Irish Sea. Can't wait until the DUP twig that one.

was it a good idea to plan a small european trip next week

dup outnumbered by 26 + 27

Ooh -Labour rebels finally make their move!

Snell/Nandy amendment to today’s motion👇🏻 would approve WA on condition that Parliament has greater say over the future relationship.

Signatories: 6 Lab MPs, 2 ex-Lab MPs. 2 of the 8 already voting for the deal (Field and Flint). pic.twitter.com/dgHklDelte

— Dom Walsh (@DomWalsh13) March 29, 2019

any labour MP who votes for the deal today can fuck off and instantly deselect themselves pls

srsly

this isn't even MV3 wtf?

They're really seizing back control now aren't they? Shambles.

i mean she's gonna get catastrophically spanked again but this is like

why not vote for it on a paragraph by paragraph basis

was gonna abbreviate paragraph to para but this gov needs no further encouragement on that score

Lads, apparently turning parliament off and on again is back in play for Monday - it would erase Letwin's second day and allow a proper MV3 of the kind that everyone has been asking for.

John Bercow, the Speaker, says he is not selecting any of the three amendments down.

if they start a new session and the gov can't pass a Queen's speech then to all intents and purposes it should fall altho fuck reading the FTPA to clarify that

what kind of maniac/idiot would vote to pass it for this shower?

nb that question is rhetorical

i have no idea what's happening anymore

Not passing it would mean just overrunning the Apr 12th deadline though?

Is passing the WA today really the last chance to secure a possible extension to May 22th? Or is it gov shenanigans?

I think the UK has got a guaranteed extension to then if the WA passes today - after that it's coming up with a plan in the next two weeks, which if it isn't no deal or revocation, will need a long extension.

Or of course May could pass it next week and go back cap-in-hand to ask for a short extension, just enough to fuck up the EU elections - if there's any loose ends at all then Macron has been giving the impression that he'd rather no deal than any more extensions. He may just be playing bad cop, but I think it'd be a mistake to underestimate the amount that the EU is tired of the UK by now.

Ty that clears it up somewhat.

EU def completely tired of the UK/Tory gov, though I'm not sure Macron or anyone else would want to be the one triggering no-deal and be held responsible for any fall-out (economic or otherwise) following that. No yet, anyway.

meanwhile spare a thought etc

It is very painful to vote for this deal. But I hope we can now work together to remedy its defects, avoid the backstop trap and strive to deliver the Brexit people voted for

— Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) March 29, 2019

macron probably doesn't want a hard tory brexiteer PM playing to the gallery of the UK RW press and causing ructions for the impending EU budget discussions either

Wait is Bercow really not selecting that Labour leave amendment?! Lol

Government will legislate to ensure MPs can set negotiating mandate for next phase of Brexit, Cox says

Cox says there will be new mechanism introduced that will ensure the Commons is consulted on the next phase of the negotiation.

He says the government would have accepted the Gareth Snell amendment had it been called.

Snell asks Cox for an assurance that the EU withdrawal agreement bill will contain the legislative proposals in the amendment.

Cox says the bill has not been published yet, but if Snell bring backs his plans as an amendment to that bill, the government will be “minded to accept”.

bolt

Not only is it a blindfold Brexit, MPs would be going into a different room, led by a different prime minister-

Sensual Brexit

Hundreds of years of repression and this is the result

don't encourage bg

xps

i need no encouragement to discuss the throbbing, gasping, tantric brexit this country deserves

Key party Brexit

flaccid, dribbling, syphilitic brexit

Breaking: Taoiseach Leo Varadkar will travel to Paris on Tuesday to meet @EmmanuelMacron, Chancellor Angela Merkel will come to Dublin on Thursday for talks at Farmleigh acc to Irish govt spokesman.

— Tony Connelly (@tconnellyRTE) March 29, 2019

Rumours sweeping the Commons that a substantial number of Labour MPs are going to vote with the Tories to get the Withdrawal Agreement through. Labour whips running back and forth from the Chamber and locked in worried looking conversations.

— Stewart McDonald MP (@StewartMcDonald) March 29, 2019

what the fuck

Always thought this was the most likely scenario.

They're bottling the cliff edge essentially.

Assuming they all represent heavily Leave voting constituencies as well.

We can assume Jarvis and Nandy but it's going to be interesting to see how many of the other people hyped as future leaders / alternatives to Corbyn get behind this.

No other reason surely? (xp)

Nandy has a majority of 16k iirc. Can’t see her being unseated by UKIP.

maybe they genuinely believe its for the best lol

whips need to screw the nut

Can’t wait for the press to go with “Corbyn enabled Brexit!” even after Corbyn literally votes against it again

Whips need to convince them to abstain rather than vote against.

(xp) Not sure many Labour MPs are in danger of being unseated by UKIP, but you try telling a headless chicken that.

Corbyn has enabled Brexit by not properly purging these dopes when he had the chance.

yep already seen FBPE'ers tweeting this is Corbyn's fault

When did he have the chance SV?

SV joining comrade alphabet on the tank there.

Having said that, it’s not unknown for the SNP to be shitstirring unnecessarily, so.

The windows aren't closing in my work today and it's fucking freezing - Corbyn's fault.

Lucky - literally being blinded by the sun here. :(

If this is what happens, Labour will also be handing a blank cheque to whoever comes after May - Boris, Raab, whoever. It would take a lot of explaining. Let’s hope the rumours are wrong. https://t.co/jCMpd4mEMJ

— Nicola Sturgeon (@NicolaSturgeon) March 29, 2019

Raab is voting for the deal now.

This is going to get p tight

shitting it now

also

Is 'Change UK’ supposed to be CHUK for Chuka Umunna like 'En Marche' is supposed to recall Emmanuel Macron?

— Jon Stone (@joncstone) March 29, 2019

I thought she would lose by about 30 through a combo of DUP and unmoved ERG Tories. Did think there would be some Lab leavers voting with May but not enough to offset.

And a few Tory remainders..

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/ng-interactive/2019/mar/27/can-you-get-mays-deal-through-meaningful-vote-3

what bloc is going to turn?

jarry leaving this tight

gonna be like braveheart when he bursts in

What's Government strategy this morning?

I'm told that in a bid to win over Labour MPs 'cash is going all over the place'

Two Labour MPs said to be looking for £100m+ *each* for regeneration in their constituencies in exchange for support

All contingent on deal going through

— Steven Swinford (@Steven_Swinford) March 29, 2019

Not sure enough labour wets will vote for this thing today. Can we all just please calm down and stop talking about purges?

the only purge on my mind is castor-oil related

*eyes funnel*
*eyes bad posts on this thread*

Alastair having a thoroughly normal one, lol.

Apologies to @SKinnock @GloriaDePiero @lisanandy @JulieElliottMP @KevanJonesMP @RuthSmeeth @gareth_snell and others I tweeted. Was not suggesting they are supporting WA. Was trying to establish under what circs they will support @peoplesvote_uk Bad timing. Sincere Apologies

— Alastair PEOPLE’S VOTE Campbell (@campbellclaret) March 29, 2019

Nandy voting against.

So Nandy is against the Snell / Nandy amendment or she's against in the assumption that the Snell / Nandy amendment can't be incorporated into the bill?

Labour MP Lisa Nandy tells me she will vote against the deal today

— Daniel Hewitt (@DanielHewittITV) March 29, 2019

looking forward to full disclosure of Clunge UK's financial backers asap

Is it pronounced Cuck or Suck?

snell 'minded to vote for'

If this turns out to be a load of bollocks and only one or two Labour MPs switch to back the deal, are we going to be angry at the SNP?

I mean I did point out they’re not exactly acting in good faith here

I am calm gyac. Just posting as I normally do.

judeinlondon2’s last hour of Tweets on CUK are *chef’s kiss*

They should have called themselves Change Democracy: UK. They could have relaunched with Ant & Dec, Cat Deeley and Holly Willoboobs

— Funny Tinge; Tendence Black (@judeinlondon2) March 29, 2019

two thumbs up

govt rumour mill will be pouring a LOT of effort into the "gap closing, lab lurkers support us in the DMs" type stories

lobby hacks lap this stuff^^^ up bcz it's pseudo-countercyclical "narrative" (= something to write abt before the actual revelatory crunch: PHIL SPACE as High Priest of the Spectacle™️)

https://miro.medium.com/max/630/0*Shjk1YB9oePtU9V0.jpg

Echoing the divine Jude elsewhere, HOW MUCH did they pay a consultant who couldn’t manage due diligence?

brb photshopping the SocSpec image to include comrade alphabet w/o his xray spex but with seared and gaping holes where his eyes used to be instead

i am in a very quatermass mood today btw

well, we are in a pit

but some of us are looking at the *shrieks in abject terror*

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/56/Qatp01.JPG/250px-Qatp01.JPG

xp damnit

THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE -

the pit and the pendulous, swinging, engorged brexit

*eyes funnel again*

Kate Hoey (!!!) has told Peston shes's voting against the WA today so I'm pretty sure it's fucked.

Kate Hoey wants a no deal Brexit and thinks this compromises the integrity of the union, so no big shock there.

Yes, she is always aligned with the DUP.

Priti Patel voting against.

Re: Kate Hoey aligning with DUP

Prior to her involvement with New Labour, Hoey was an active member of the International Marxist Group whose policies included support for the IRA, removal of British troops from Northern Ireland, and nationalisation of industry. She has long rejected those policies.

---- quite the political journey there

The Tory Brexiter Priti Patel says, if MPs vote for this deal, they will be voting for a deal drawn up by the EU. She says her constituents voted leave. And leave should mean leave, she says. She says people are getting fed up of these endless debates

truly one of the great thinkers and orators of our times

In this essay I will outline why people are fed up of these endless essays

she's calm and just posting as she normally does

Lib Dem MP says Theresa May says the PM could get her deal over the line if she combined it with a referendum.

That needs to be a board description already. Feel sorry for the Americans logging on in a while and backreading older posts.

Which reminds me of the Frankensteiny proposals apparently being considered for Monday - the second Letwin day will apparently be new votes on 'new' ideas, rather than something with preferential votes - theoretical runners include Customs Union + Norway Plus, Customs Union with a Second Referendum, and "No Deal bit with also a Second Referendum", where the idea is that both hard remainers and hard leavers would go for it because they're bound to win the popular vote, right?

*but

the International Marxist Group whose policies included

this is a bit of a category error when describing any formation within the larger UK fourth international heritage: its primary dynamic -- its key political culture -- is SPLITTISM, with the many many MANY warring splinters each brandishing its minutely different menu with regard to policy, permuting like the various ways you can order a fried breakfast in a caff (International Communist League with mushrooms = Alliance for Workers Liberty, International Communist League without mushrooms = Communist Party of Great Britain Provisional Central Committee etc*). Hoey being within this general penumbra doesn't really commit her strongly to *any* given line (with the point at which said line became a problem for her being the point she likely began to withdraw).

*(this is a fanciful example: all these groups exist but i have not actually researched the relevant lines on mushrooms as regards a fried breakfast)

A brief marriage ends. DUP learning today that many in ERG = Brexiteers first Unionists second. DUP = Unionists first and Brexiteers second. So DUP would countenance long extension / customs union over PM’s deal while ERG will support PM’s deal over long extension / customs union

— Nicholas Watt (@nicholaswatt) March 29, 2019

mushrooms are disgusting and have no place in a fried breakfast, you are a traitor to the cause of breakfast and you are henceforth banished xp

It does seem quite a weasley line, it's from her wikipedia entry, but not sure where the person writing it is coming from.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Hoey#Politics

Communism with mushrooms sounds like a good call, however I would go for Trotskyism with mushrooms fried in butter, not Stalinism with mushrooms fried in bacon fat.

It was with a heavy heart that i FPd you there bg

*seizes skillet, advances on bg*

taking the fun out of fungus

Why are people complaining about mushrooms in a fry when beans are the real crime?

guys i heard there's a risk the public could lose trust in British politics today

huge if true

xp what do you call a mushroom with a big penis? A fun guy

why is something happening xp

Either something or nothing is happening, both with their own dangers

schrodinger's brexit

I am prepared to put the skillet down once bg and gyac discuss the compatibilities of their aims - if they strengthen their hands by both hating mushrooms and beans then I'm prepared to sit down with them, because more delicious mushrooms and beans for me. In a spirit of welcoming they can have the grilled tomato, if that's what that is.

You can keep the tomato, I’m only interested in rashers and black pudding.

I think I count about ten ride or die Tory Brexiteers still voting against this thing? It’s toast.

grilled tomatoes are fucking rank an' all tbh

Mushroom hatred yet another thing cementing the transatlantic clone bond between bg and myself, I see.

elitists. any fried breakfast that doesn't include all these things is a bourgeois distraction

breaksit

there it is

Lads, Leon is way ahead of us.

Leon is the latest London restaurant to adopt the Brexit lexicon to sell food. A “breakfast means breakfast” deal promises a breakfast pot and a coffee for £4.45, imploring hungry passers-by with a simple suggestion: “Let’s do a deal.”

Now I'm curious if anyone's selling one with all these AND ALSO filo, olives, halloumi, feta...

our most basic, rough n ready local greasy spoon offers a 'turkish breakfast' fyi

like, in addition to the classix

"croissant-munching, latte-sipping": instances of misconceived media-class self-loathing ITT

*taps sign, eyes funnel*

munch my pit, splitter

xxp yeah but literally on the same plate as?

Queue enormous as expected FYI — hanging out watching in the hall

how many of these have said they’re voting AYE

Caroline Flint
John Mann
Graham Stringer
Gareth Snell. AYE
Jim Fitzpatrick. AYE
Kevin Barron
Sarah Champion
Rosie Cooper

Can get 9/2 on the deal passing, which is tempting.

jfc

There is a solid mass of unhappy gammon wedged outside too

the actual, long-discussed split is over the inclusion of the farl in the ulster fry

but you fuckers just dont care about anything that happens over here i forgot

No farls, say I.

.....lets not relitigate tht particularly nasty schism eh

farls rule, more farls with everything imo

FARL is such a fun word to say.

andrew farl

There is a solid mass of unhappy gammon wedged outside too

wait is this about breakfast or no

Leinster says no.

brexit may imperil our breakfasts & our gammon:
https://inews.co.uk/news/brexit/britain-brexit-chicken-pork-carcass-balance-price-rises-white-dark-meat/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

xxp yeah but literally on the same plate as?

― Andrew Farrell, Friday, March 29, 2019 1:19 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

zoom in on Set 5 here and you'll notice that halloumi and sucuk have replaced some of the usual ingredients. a bloody disgrace. actually it's really nice

The shift over the last two years from the Leon breakfast costing £3.25 to £3.50 to £3.99 to £4.45 tells its own story of post-referendum purchasing power and corporate opportunism.

Everything I know about Irish culture and history comes from the cruise kidman vehicle farl and away

wtf is leon, is this some kind of metropolitan elitism on display itt

The website is very angry about this branding, @Anna_Soubry also just accidentally called her party https://t.co/xGKZj0cObx in the chamber. Understand legal advice and advice from the Electoral Commission is being sought. https://t.co/XP14E4m9cs

— Jessica Elgot (@jessicaelgot) March 29, 2019

there's a leon in manchester now (& the trafford centre obv) which i believe is one of the portents of the end times

leon is training a young girl to avenge brexit iirc

Yep. And fried tomato is OK in a fry-up if taken in the form of cherry tomatoes halved and wet side dipped in thyme, salt and pepper before frying in a well of nuclear bacon fat.

david dimbleby’s son’s fast food to go chain

León is a chain of stolovayas named in honour of Trotsky iirc.

that leon breakfast in full

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/gremlins/images/5/5e/ElephantGrem.png/revision/latest?cb=20131102223137

not the image i wanted to post but i kinda prefer it honestly

^^^preferred thread title

farls rule, more farls with everything imo

Tattie scones of death, away with yer heathen farls.

That was supposed to be 'or death' but I think I prefer the mistake.

In more NI news, judge getting aerated about the whole damn thing.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-47744603

OTM your honour.

The Tory Brexiter David Jones says he will continue to vote against the deal. If the deal had changed, he would have considered changing his mind, he says. But it has not.

He says this was meant to be the day when the bells would be pealing to celebrate Brexit.

*sob*

Made it in for May. I can see all the lobby wonks watching. Stephen Bush looking nervous

good luck uk

DIVISION!

you were lucky to get in right now!

Mogg's voting aye

how romantic

BREAKING Jacob Rees-Mogg walks into the Aye lobby with Boris Johnson.

— Carl Dinnen (@carldinnen) March 29, 2019

It's going to pass.

Aww i thought this was tonight and hence i'd miss it

Developing a really murderous Pavlovian response to megaphones and shouting

History may yet see Theresa May as the great political schemer she isn't.

Sheer Machiavellian

SV it's unlike you to troll us like this. Brexit makes people do funny things tho'

Makes people do hilarious things

I enjoy watching members of the public kvetching about the self-serving crapness of MPs like they just found out about politics this morning

Lab benches all stern, Tory front bench smug apart from May. Looks like a loss for govt tho

Lol

Aye 286
No 344

fourth time lucky, i guess?

58 she's getting there

https://talkradio.co.uk/sites/talkradio.co.uk/files/styles/large/public/field/image/201811/theresa-may-painting.jpg

RIP

Pundits estimating No by 40-50 votes xp

I think MV6 might just squeak it.

Guys she's getting closer, she should offer to set herself on fire if MV3.1 passes, i think she can get there

i'd be tempted to back it in those circumstances tbf

:D

xp

Told you there weren’t enough Labour votes. Knew she was going to lose when I saw her jacket - she didn’t bother wasting a good outfit on yet another loss.

Oh wow Vince Cable's still alive

LMAO

Not even close enough to have justified the hype imo

"I fear we are reaching the limits of this process in this house."

(brings out tommy gun)

lol @ racist christmas being cancelled

Caroline Lucas otm

https://commonsvotes.digiminster.com/

Usual link for votes when they get updated.

Lol.

Labour: General election now!
SNP: general election now!
TIG: people’s vote now!

Stet, what’s the mood like there?!

I mean if European elections are a problem can't we just have a GE on that day and combine the two? Kind of like when the African WC qualifying rounds count for the Nations Cup too.

If that’s to happen, the latest they can call one is 25 working days before the election.

Only five labour MPs voted with the government - Kevin Barron, Rosie Cooper, Caroline Flint, John Mann and Jim Fitzpatrick.

Independent MPs: Ian Austin, Frank Field, Lady Harmon and Stephen Lloyd (ex LD) voted with the government.

In view of the rejection of the Withdrawal Agreement by the House of Commons, I have decided to call a European Council on 10 April. #Brexit

— Donald Tusk (@eucopresident) March 29, 2019

34 Tories rebelled - weird mix of wets and hardliners.

May:

"On Monday, this House will continue the process to see if there is a stable majority for a particular alternative version of our future relationship with the EU. Of course, all of the options will require the withdrawal agreement."

Jeez, can’t she take a hint.

What a shambles

just fuckin revoke article 50 already, we clearly can't be trusted to do this properly ('properly')

her darting glances sideways like gollum when a point against her hits are really starting to carry more than a hint of actual madness

Fair fucks to the Labour whipping operation, though.

Put the screws to em “jezza”

count dankula MEP

a 2019 election has gone as short as 8/11 - 4/6, it will probably be 1/100 by tonight.

Re: Labour whipping - Ronnie Campbell & Dennis Skinner both abstained rather than voting with government.

What does bantz logic dictate happens Monday

brexit

JC and Johnny Mac obvs coordinated outfits over WhatsApp today.

Xxp The mood is amazing. You could have heard a gnat fart when the tellers were standing ambiguously. Among the politicians everyone seems v upbeat apart from May herself. The ERG look delighted because this pushes towards the abyss, they think, the Tory leadership candidates look delighted.

Corbyn and McDonnell and Abbot sat on the front bench talking long after the chamber had emptied. Watson and Eagle stood nearby looking v grave.

There is a gang of gammon in leisure wear crowding near Steve Baker in the lobby.