my realest, most fucked up thoughts, feelings + conspiracy theories abt. ILX: a list

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lol jk, not yet 🎉

shoulda zagged (esby), Monday, 1 April 2019 21:14 (six years ago)

whoa, come on. hit us with the juice!

flappy bird, Monday, 1 April 2019 21:18 (six years ago)

nobody gives two fucks

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Monday, 1 April 2019 21:19 (six years ago)

three word username to thread.

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 1 April 2019 21:19 (six years ago)

or not.

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 1 April 2019 21:21 (six years ago)

This is one of those April Fool's Day things, isn't it?

The Colour of Spring (deethelurker), Monday, 1 April 2019 21:26 (six years ago)

Let's all go see a movie! 🤠

flappy bird, Monday, 1 April 2019 21:28 (six years ago)

Sleeping bags efforts to be bad boy of ilxor dot com are some tragic shit honestly

A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Monday, 1 April 2019 21:33 (six years ago)

Your sock is just such a font of hot content, gab. Can I sign up for eblasts of your updates so I don't miss a second of the freshness?

A man of surgery, to remove the metal pellets from my flesh (Old Lunch), Monday, 1 April 2019 21:36 (six years ago)

Ned Spock. that is all

rip van wanko, Monday, 1 April 2019 21:37 (six years ago)

efpy

A is for (Aimless), Monday, 1 April 2019 22:49 (six years ago)

I'm wondering how many years' interest in ilx is necessary to understand stuff like this

Dan S, Monday, 1 April 2019 23:02 (six years ago)

mom. dad. don't fight.

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 1 April 2019 23:14 (six years ago)

It's like that time your dad was kicked out of the house and then came back with the most unconvincing fake mustache ever, pretending to be a different person. Of course we're going to fight, son. Of course.

A man of surgery, to remove the metal pellets from my flesh (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 00:15 (six years ago)

i'm glad we all got to enjoy this thread together

shoulda zagged (esby), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 06:38 (six years ago)

glad we all got to enjoy your mom together

Buttigieg comes right from the source (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 06:40 (six years ago)

Old Lunch, you are one of my favorite posters going back to the Haircare days which is why I get bummed out when you go hardman on posters who I think are mostly harmless and overall a net positive to the board.

Also dude there is no way esby is gabbneb, so please recalibrate your troll sensors.

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:42 (six years ago)

The name is just a coincidence?

Angry Question Time Man's Flute Club Band (Tom D.), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:45 (six years ago)

Please explain the coincidence?

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:46 (six years ago)

SB/Esby

Angry Question Time Man's Flute Club Band (Tom D.), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:47 (six years ago)

suggest bag

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:48 (six years ago)

Good point. Also, I think if we look at this closely, sleepingbag may also have been a reference to benbbag (gabbneb backwards). When the gab's away, the esby shall play? The grand design indeed begins to emerge!

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:52 (six years ago)

enby: please read lighthearted sarcasm into above post.

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:53 (six years ago)

https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Frightedition.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2015%2F05%2Fconspiracy-theory.jpg&f=1

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:54 (six years ago)

https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fjehovahsjudgment.co.uk%2Fwatchtower-un-ngo%2Fmedia%2Fevilconspiracy.jpg&f=1

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 12:00 (six years ago)

https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FdN8ITNrSDIg%2Fhqdefault.jpg&f=1

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 12:03 (six years ago)

Garu G can't melt steel beams

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 12:21 (six years ago)

Thanks and same back 2 u peace, man. I grant that there may be a thin line between hardmanning and puckish ball-busting which is obscured when you see only words on a screen and not the tittering jackass who's typing them.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:16 (six years ago)

hee hee 'tittering'

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:17 (six years ago)

^ Gets it

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:33 (six years ago)

IIRC I have taken a sharp tone with a fellow ILXor no more than twice in 1.5 decades and both instances were pretty unmistakable instances of not fucking around. Generally speaking, it's safe to assume that I'm fucking around.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:37 (six years ago)

Phew! Fair enough. Sometimes people aren't fucking around around here.

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:41 (six years ago)

esby is infinity imo

jolene club remix (BradNelson), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:45 (six years ago)

https://www.inkyfingers.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/doom_patrol_book_1.jpg

mark s, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:50 (six years ago)

i got so excited when i saw this thread title bc i have such amazing ilx conspiracy theories i've mostly kept to myself for years but then it turns out esby was just cockteasing and then bg and ol filled the thread with their regular nonsense.

Mordy, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:57 (six years ago)

what the heck is an esby?

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:58 (six years ago)

spanish furby

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:10 (six years ago)

then bg and ol filled the thread with their regular nonsense.

sry 4 shitposting in a thread that otherwise seemed so full of potential

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:32 (six years ago)

I'm just glad that the value of our collective contribution has been duly recognized.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:35 (six years ago)

the only good ilx posters iirc

mark s, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:37 (six years ago)

there are no good ilx posters

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:38 (six years ago)

the realest most fucked-up thought

mark s, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:39 (six years ago)

Self-loathing has no place on il oh wait

The Xylems of the Limes (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:46 (six years ago)

We're all just neurotic depressives anyway, right? RIGHT?

Anyway, I'm shocked and appalled none of y'all have posted any Shane Dawson videos itt. Where's your respect for the pervert king of the conspiracy theory?

The Colour of Spring (deethelurker), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:04 (six years ago)

I'd always assumed we were, to a number, very well-adjusted and outgoing individuals who occasionally defer the siren call of extraversion to drop a few electronic bon mots before finally rejoining the carefree celebration which fills our days and nights in perpetuity. But maybe that's just me?

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:14 (six years ago)

genuinely otm but idk about ye

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:16 (six years ago)

lol @ someone thinking esby was a 'neb sock ... like, why would 'neb after over a decade of consistently being banned for and returning with the same "controversial" persona suddenly try to emulate a british poster with a different "controversial" persona?

I do appreciate esby's tribute to dearly departed nilmar/nakh. It makes me realize why people go see concerts w/holograms of their favorite dead artists.

But no way would 'neb do this -- the man sticks to what he knows, or rather, what he reads online and then makes gross generalizations about then passes off as the indisputable truth ...

sarahell, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:19 (six years ago)

also I believe that Luna works in auto insurance claims irl

sarahell, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:22 (six years ago)

I'll admit, I do tend to easily confuse those who've been banned and then return as a 'brand new poster' without seeming to have learned anything from their prior ILX-perience. That's on me.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:24 (six years ago)

starting a thread like this is the ilx equivalent of posting to r/roastme

say it with sausages (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:32 (six years ago)

waiting for k8 to come back and have you accuse them of being Dom Passantino ... that will be a real maracas moment

sarahell, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:32 (six years ago)

BRB, gone to huddle with the ILX Ministers of Etiquette and my pastor to figure out how I can better refine my mea culpa.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:40 (six years ago)

pastor Preach Freedom

say it with sausages (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:45 (six years ago)

ILX is autotelic and unfolds of its own accord.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:49 (six years ago)

ilx is autoerotic and is choking itself to death while jerking off

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:52 (six years ago)

I sought to put a fine point on it, but yes. Yes.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:53 (six years ago)

Just like ILX to forget the lemon.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:54 (six years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp1KET2Nvvg&t=2406s

ian, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:55 (six years ago)

whoops, wrong link sorry !!!!

ian, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 18:56 (six years ago)

I sought to put a fine point on it, but yes. Yes.

I suppose if you jerked off too many times you COULD "put a fine point on it".

The Colour of Spring (deethelurker), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 19:00 (six years ago)

whats british about esby

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 19:03 (six years ago)

He has a driving licence.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 19:04 (six years ago)

Never mind, it's the same in Éire. Should've known.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 19:06 (six years ago)

I assumed esby was American and involved in some US-politics related outrage that I knew nothing about.

Angry Question Time Man's Flute Club Band (Tom D.), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 19:09 (six years ago)

idgi I thought it was obv sleepingbag

brimstead, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 19:12 (six years ago)

You are clearly unfamiliar with the posting cadence of one Conner Smedley, back to once again betray our weretrust.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 19:23 (six years ago)

esby is obviously sleepingbag cos he made a comment about me in the "posts you had second thoughts about posting" thread about me a year ago and then under esby nick made almost an identical post about me in another thread a few weeks ago.

Buttigieg comes right from the source (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:04 (six years ago)

and of course, the obvious 'esby' = sb = yeah u know.

Buttigieg comes right from the source (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:07 (six years ago)

also he just literally posted his spotify playlist which had username "sleepingbag" in the Spotify thread but idk continue to think its gabbneb or sumthin

Buttigieg comes right from the source (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:08 (six years ago)

Guys. Guys. I'm dumb, okay? I'm just dumb. It's well established at this point. No one but me thought he was gabbneb, and I think I was mostly just confused because they both at one time had usernames containing the word 'bag'. Because I'm easily confused, and very dumb. You can let it go now. I permish you.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:16 (six years ago)

i'm british af mate. cheerio. it's lit. roufl

shoulda zagged (esby), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:17 (six years ago)

y'all have no chill

shoulda zagged (esby), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:20 (six years ago)

did you listen to the playlist xps

shoulda zagged (esby), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:20 (six years ago)

esby is dave cool

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:24 (six years ago)

good fucking lord why does nobody know anything ever

A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:51 (six years ago)

helpful

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:53 (six years ago)

My posts are extremely helpful fyi, I cracked the extremely difficult “SB” code in like the fifth post itt, and also months ago when “SB” first posted, I don’t know what else I can do to help the head injury sufferers on this site who have no idea who they’re interacting with!

A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 22:58 (six years ago)

youre as cranky as fuck since taking on that new login ya cuncha

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:03 (six years ago)

i don't know who wins used to be

confusing esby for gabbneb is funny

nerdstrom was definitely gabbneb, right?

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:07 (six years ago)

unconfirmed

wins used be big jim swells

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:09 (six years ago)

brb gonna post as “wins2” and change absolutely nothing about my posting in order to spark speculation that I am geir

A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:10 (six years ago)

was gabbneb larry appleton? because he was something else

Dan S, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:13 (six years ago)

And the Lord said, yea, the socks of ilx shall be many and fruitful and by their stylistic quirks thou shalt know them.

A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:14 (six years ago)

🤨

A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:14 (six years ago)

was gabbneb larry appleton? because he was something else

― Dan S, Tuesday, April 2, 2019 4:13 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no, larry appleton is burt stanton is whoever

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:14 (six years ago)

i forget his other names but he's been around for over a decade in different forms

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:15 (six years ago)

who were Moo Vaughn and Raccoon Tanuki?

I think I was kind of entertained by all of them

Dan S, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:19 (six years ago)

Feel free to c+p my summary for the inevitable clusterfuck summary

Me: poster x is clearly poster y
ILXor: u r rong
Me: u r rite, i was rong
ILXor: can't believe how rong u were
Me: like I said, I was rong, lets just say I was double rong and call it even stevens
ILXor: wow, how did anyone ever believe something so rong
Me: I don't know, I am rong and also stupid
ILXor: ha ha, you are stupid and also so very very rong
Me: (literally self-flagellates)
ILXor: omg you are totally whipping yrself with a whip rn, what a rong idiot

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:21 (six years ago)

🤨

A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:22 (six years ago)

Moo Vaughn was another of gabbneb's several incarnations.

A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:35 (six years ago)

The best one imo

A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:37 (six years ago)

🤨

cheese canopy (map), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:40 (six years ago)

🤨

A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:44 (six years ago)

🤨_🤨

PPL+AI=NS (imago), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:51 (six years ago)

who is imago

Mordy, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 23:57 (six years ago)

jute gyte

rip van wanko, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 00:02 (six years ago)

i do wonder what the linguistic equivalent of microtonality is

let's get inventing some weird diphthongs i guess

PPL+AI=NS (imago), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 00:05 (six years ago)

that's a poor analogue. the word is the unit of revolution, not the letter or the syllable. i should just invent loads of new words. joyce is the linguistic equivalent of microtonality

PPL+AI=NS (imago), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 00:06 (six years ago)

hng

moose; squirrel (silby), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 00:18 (six years ago)

This is the worst April Fool's Day prank I've ever seen.

The Colour of Spring (deethelurker), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 00:19 (six years ago)

^new board description

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 00:29 (six years ago)

F'real, have yet to see a single conspiracy theory.

Unless...thaaaaaaat's the conspiiiiiiracy.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 00:43 (six years ago)

mordy, spill your secrets

k3vin k., Wednesday, 3 April 2019 01:00 (six years ago)

imago isn't a mystery to me, I feel like I know him and I love his posts

Dan S, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 01:25 (six years ago)

I got 5 on it

Buttigieg comes right from the source (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 02:32 (six years ago)

I thought sleepingbag was the same person as gabbneb. I don't know anything about any of these people though.

Angry Question Time Man's Flute Club Band (Tom D.), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 06:50 (six years ago)

Amateurs.

Three Word Username, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 07:04 (six years ago)

lol

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 07:14 (six years ago)

Here we go.

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 07:54 (six years ago)

I have it on good authority that trace residues of microtonal English still linger among regional accents. They are our last bastion against received well-tempered pronunciation.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 08:51 (six years ago)

Sauchiehall Street on a Saturday night, amirite?

Angry Question Time Man's Flute Club Band (Tom D.), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 08:53 (six years ago)

is Old Lunch Deric W. Haircare?

conrad, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 09:27 (six years ago)

Shhhhhhhhhh (gently places chloroform-soaked rag over conrad's nose and mouth)

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 10:18 (six years ago)

is pork lamb

mark s, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 10:29 (six years ago)

guys i think kurt schwitterz is chaki!!

sarahell, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 16:13 (six years ago)

is sarahell sarahel?

rob, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 16:17 (six years ago)

i'm british af mate.

Well, I don't know where to start

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 16:19 (six years ago)

af means "as France" iirc

rob, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 16:20 (six years ago)

who is rob?

sarahell, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 16:49 (six years ago)

all the mates round the ends

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 16:52 (six years ago)

xp
it's an acronym for Return Of Brodie

rob, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:02 (six years ago)

Feels like we're milling around a neverending work party where people keep pasting new nametags over their old ones and putting on ridiculous wigs and instead of hobnobbing and gladhanding we just keep asking people who the hell is that dude named Banana Johnson over there, no not there, over there next to the shrimp cocktail.

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:09 (six years ago)

"report post as NSFW"

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:16 (six years ago)

Jack Boson Underworked is Bo Jackson Overdrive

say it with sausages (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:23 (six years ago)

xxxp -- hey Deric, do you know if there's any shrimp cocktail at this party, and if they skimped on the horseradish again?

sarahell, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:37 (six years ago)

The name is Banana Johnson, thank you, and I'm afraid the shrimp has spoiled from sitting out since yesterday afternoon. (peels 'OLD LUNCH' warning label from container of aged shrimp and applies over current nametag)

Piecing together a lost culture from an unearthed Joshua Kadison CD (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 18:40 (six years ago)

Banana Johnson is the Fairweather Johnson of possible names for hypothetical socks ('WC Handjob' being the Cracked Rear View, obvs)

rip van wanko, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 19:09 (six years ago)

can you guys not talk about me

ian, Wednesday, 3 April 2019 19:21 (six years ago)

oh shit ian is Banana Johnson? I thought he was Big Jim Swells

cheese canopy (map), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 19:26 (six years ago)

No, Banana Johnson is Doug Boatgorilla.

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 19:33 (six years ago)

🤨

mumsnet blvd (wins), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 19:43 (six years ago)

🤨

cheese canopy (map), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 19:43 (six years ago)

eight months pass...

srsly tho sb what

Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 December 2019 00:35 (six years ago)

honestly just bumping this thread so it's right above that other one

sarahell, Sunday, 29 December 2019 05:31 (six years ago)


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