Something Wick This Way Comes

John Wick 3 out soon.

ITT talk about John Wick and movies. about John Wick

Firstly: world-building is usually just another term for fan service and its therefore usually bad.

This applies here also.

But they manage to absorb the hit and keep momentum going, for the most part.

Like John Wick

Secondly: Meta casting is a good thing and can be worth twenty mins of exposition, exposition being the devil.

This applies here also and is a significant ingredient in the franchise success so far

Thirdly: Looks as good as a raven in a silk cloak shot like a George Michael video in 1995

Fourth(ly?)- hums along with the internal rhythms of a norse saga

The problem with the fishburne casting isn’t that it’s meta it’s that the scene is very bad and long and he is very very bad in it

that comes under world-building imo

all casting in this is meta casting fishburne is minor stuff

I only saw the first JW movie last week. The action is hilariously brutal.

I always feel like a cop for suggesting these films might actually be better without the tedious bits but yeah it all comes under “world building”. I believe it was our skot who said “ppl love rules I guess”

well look fanfic is demonstrably an evil in this world, not all world-building or expansion is that and some of it is good but mostly its terrible

theres enough good about the wicks not to dwell tho

having the inciting incident of these movies being the murder of the world’s most adorable puppy is maybe the best plotting decision in cinema history imo

not because i hate puppies but because it means whatever carnage wick unleashes is 140% justified

it absolutely matters, yeah

i cant even remember how the line is delivered in the first one or if im just imagining it but the main dudes incredulous "you shot john wicks DOGGGGGGG?" when he discovers why his entire org must fall is a good mood setter for the entire series.

yeah ridiculous and yeah funny but also sorry you all have to die and nobody has to care thats the way it is bub

these movies are, i think, the very best keanu vehicles because he’s a really gifted physical actor and they are stripped of almost everything which gets in the way of letting him move

yeah, sure they dont even let the poor bugger stop afaict

The second one's background/world-building were never going to live up to the whole sequence of John Leguizamo sipping on a Scotch looking weary, "he killed John Wick's dog" "oh," O'Riley from Oz as henchman all cross cut with Wick breaking up concrete to get to his guns and coins.

cant see that as world building

thats just setting a comeuppance

the worldbuiiding, such as it is, works because it’s inherently kinda silly and cartoonish, ie a good backdrop for the ultraviolent looney tunes of the action sequences

it works as far as it does because its surrounded by excellence

if the execution(s) or keanu were any less superb then it would drag the movie down into just another cynical nerd/completionista exploitation flick

Lovejoy's hotel for assassins concierged by Cedric Daniels is definitely a place I would stay

it is p much the job i see him quitting the cessmire of major crimes for, def

cynical’s an interesting word to bring up in this context - are these the least cynical action movies of recent times? like, the whole thing is an exercise in the joy of motion more than anything else - it’s like the olympics but with more neon violence and less shocking corporate corruption

they are very lean, which i think is at least aligned to non-cynical, in that you have to add in elements to get cynicism (among other things)

all centres on keanu, rly. you cam project a lot, or nothing, onto his casting/role/performance

keanu is very lean too

Tbh it’s only in the second one that the bad stuff drags the fun stuff down - the fucking barter system of hogwarts assassin guild or whatever should have as little time spent on it as possible because it’s embarrassing shit however you deadpan it. I only saw it once but it felt like 20 long minutes at a time of that stuff between action scenes when I was in the cinema. The version of jw2 that’s 90 minutes long may well be lean

Still up for pt 3 obv

david lean six sigma thats how good this is gonna be

smdh at first one; needed a shower after

if this is satire, it forgot to be satirical

is it satirical?

i wouldn't have said so.

knowing, but not winking.

if you cant appreciate it for what it is then i think abe had a line for you to use as a future guide

Started re-watching 2 last night - I think my favorite bit is when Keanu arrives in Rome and the proprietor of the local Continental asks him if he's there to kill the Pope. When the answer (after a long pause) is no, the guy smiles and says "OK then - enjoy your stay" and hands him his room key. Cracked me up in the theater; still funny now.

All of the septuagenarians in my gf's family are psyched to see 3 this weekend, q: will I need to see 2 first in order to follow the intricacies of plot

the proprietor of the local Continental asks him if he's there to kill the Pope

yeah this was genuinely hilarious

also just noticed that JW2 and JW3 feature, respectively, a genderfluid and non-binary primary cast member, which is neat!

if this is romcom, it forgot to be rom or com

if this is a musical, it forgot to have songs

if this is documentary, it forgot to be a record of real-life events captured contemporaneously

neither of these movies are satire my god

i do like to think of them as a horror movie franchise from a retired horror movie monster's perspective

(Only barely tangentially related but have you seen Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil, Brad?)

as a teen beach party movie starring frankie avalon and annette funicello, it’s a real failure iirc

TBF and IMO, the failing of most films is that they are not teen beach party movies starring Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello.

well, yeah

ol, yes see 2

fwiw i didn't think the first one was satire. just crap.

ol, yes see 2

How about the first one, is that necessary for the other two? I think the only way I could watch this with my partner would be to skip the puppy murder.

look

i cannot in any faith recommend anyone to not see john wick

insofar as plot matters youd have to seem em all in order but happily.....prob plot is a nice-to-have in these movies

****SPOILERS***
****SPOILERS***
****SPOILERS***

John Wick 3 as the 2016 election/Pro-Bernie propaganda

--The high table is the democratic party, obsessed with rules and norms to their own detriment
--The adjudicator is Hillary, a seasoned professional fighting a broken system just trying to keep everything normal.
--John Wick is Bernie Sanders, the rogue veteran, a little old but still a scrapper. He's already got the young fighters obsessed with him (Zero), but has to win over older voters who are set in their ways/routines (Anjelica Huston) and the women who still claim fealty to the high table (Halle Berry)
--Visiting Berrada was the DNC kneecapping him in the primaries
--Winston is Trump, whose only concern is himself and maintaining status/money/power and his HOTEL
--Lawrence Fishburne and his crew are the mobilized lower class electorate who is going to help Wick and Bernie rise to victory in Part 4 (2020)

wheres biden

sorry, meant to post that to the twin peaks thread with a fuller theory that it itself is a 2020 allegory

This was so violent it was almost hallucinogenic at times.

The least of the three but only really cause the last 10 minutes is a bit enh

This was so violent it was almost hallucinogenic at times.

seeing this tomorrow at 10:00. ANTE MERIDIEM!!

also i would posit that the excessive world-building in this one is Bad -- the first is the best because it's just about a retired assassin going after a spoiled brat for killing his dog

Debating whether or not I'll see this in the theater. All I know is, after having one guy dispatch basically dozens if not hundreds of highly skilled assassins in the previous two movies, what idiot assassin would try to take him on in John Wick 3?

quite a few it turns out

(spoiler a lot of people try to kill john wick)

It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy in this ridiculous world. They will never run out of assassins because apparently half the world is an assassin.

spoiler-light, incomplete list of things I greatly enjoyed in this one, in no order

dogs
horses
knife museum
Halle Berry
Mark Dacascos
Lance Reddick
all that glass
"I get it"

One half of the couple behind me hit her partner with her purse and walked out after Wick stabbed that guy slowly in the eye

alas, twas not meant to be

just a story about two people who love their doggos

spoiler-light, incomplete list of things I greatly enjoyed in this one, in no order

dogs
horses
knife museum
Halle Berry
Mark Dacascos
Lance Reddick
all that glass
"I get it"

although how he met his end was eeeeegh

I had to look up who that was, but yeah, that was a hell of a first action sequence. Actually, the movie suffered a bit for being frontloaded with a few of its standout sequences.

Mr. Wick needs to adjust his library etiquette, though.

please never reshelve your books at the library! even if you didn't check it out, the desk still needs it! why? well i'll tell ya in this thread!

— gloombot.exe (@lesbianchaos) April 20, 2019

I’m pretty sure this movie is satire and was gonna make a joke about it being Starship Troopers with a dog (“Starship Poopers”) but I googled it and that was already a Simpsons joke and an old one too

loved this and the ending action was very close to doing the Keanu finds new strength, gestures with hand bit but he rallied without obvious posing

appreciate they did no obvious “this other guy loves death, John Wick wants life” dialogue

I don’t think anything is satire as much as it is a continuous commentary and homage to convention and predecessors! A lot of the martial arts sequences referenced were humorous or ott and they play well to that

Many thoughts but mostly how much I was not expecting Kyary Pamyu Pamyu to show up on the soundtrack. Almost like they literally googled 'ninja music' and this was the first thing that showed up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMdjJ3w9iM&feature=youtu.be

other than that, I'm just very, very, very glad that this franchise and Keanu Reeves found each other.

spoiler-light, incomplete list of things I greatly enjoyed in this one, in no order

dogs
horses
knife museum
Halle Berry
Mark Dacascos
Lance Reddick
all that glass
"I get it"

otm

also in this movie, John Wick utters a couple of words in Bahasa, instantly killing two guys... and the entire Bahasa-speaking audience I was with. (Hey guys, if you haven't seen The Raid, you should!)

I only just realized who Dacascos is and tbh I love that he was cast as the lead baddie in a huge movie, and that he's even older than Keanu (and similarly ageless)

and yeah seeing the Raid guys in this was a treat as well

Re-posting my Kyary link since it didn't work the first time:

https://youtu.be/teMdjJ3w9iM

The least of the three but only really cause the last 10 minutes is a bit enh

― Simon H., Saturday, May 18, 2019 3:29 AM

I thought this by the best of three by miles and wonder how they will try to top it.

The previous two really don't prepare you for how violent this is.

Halle Berry and her dogs were great.

Actually wasn't too bothered about seeing it but my brother offered to take me to cinema and I'm really glad I went. Will definitely be there for the next film.

Wonder how far this series will go and will we get John Wick in space. How far will he have to travel?

Funny how a guy is clearly killed in the train station and nobody cares. Supports the feeling of this being a cartoon world where assassins could be everywhere.

https://www.bleedingcool.com/2019/05/17/geof-darrow-drew-a-john-wick-3-poster-so-violent-it-can-never-be-seen/

Wonder how far this series will go and will we get John Wick in space

We wondered aloud about how in the hell they could ever "top" this, and this very idea was raised.

release the Geoff Darrow poster, you cowards!

Saw it today

I love the opening, him going from neon times square to ye olde pistol/gun/knife emporium to fkn horse stables ...i love how much they love juxtaposing modern vs antique so much

keanu on horseback is everything bcs he can actually ride (of course he can he can do everything)

motorbike swordfight was dope af. do we know if that was keanu’s bike brand? i meant to look that up.

halle berry & her rad dogs were RAD AS FUCK those dogs flying through the air was awesome, such amazing trainers they must have
angry halle is good halle.

the GLASS room fascinated me, because of the different strengths. it’s kinda genius in the design, creating tension just from not knowing when/if it will shatter & when

i still love first movie the best for sheer simplicity of plot & economy of dialogue but they could make 50 of these, i’ll love em all if Keanu keeps doing his thing

Yup! Plot’s not as trim as the first, obviously, but I think the action scenes were the best of the series

motorbike swordfight was dope af

chopped-off arm blocking up one of the motorbikes' wheels was one of those moments I thought my brain made up as I was watching it

yeah that was insane

Things I liked a lot:

• Keanu getting horses to kick people to death
• The ninjas-on-motorcycles scene (even though it was stolen straight from The Villainess, which is also amazing)
• The dogs
• Knife fight in the weapons warehouse

Things I found genuinely upsetting:

• The dude getting knifed in the eye in slow motion
• Keanu shotgunning people's heads off

Minor quibbles:

• Part 2 ended on a sunny afternoon in Central Park; Part 3 begins in a massive black-sky downpour
• The actor playing "The Elder" was too young to be playing someone called "The Elder"
• How are you gonna stage a fight in a room full of cauldrons of molten gold and not dump one goon into the molten gold? Boo, I say

Keanu getting horses to kick people to death

When they went into this stable I thought to myself "it's too bad they're probably just gonna fight around the horses and not, like, have Keanu get them to kick them" and then he did it a bunch of times

The dude getting knifed in the eye in slow motion

I don't remember this being literally in slow motion, just agonizingly paced compared to the rest of the sequence. But yeah even for a movie like this, explicit ocular trauma seems like a bridge too far for some reason

nah its all great imo

new & exciting ways to off ppl

Italian horror movies love eye stabbins

we’re in a nu-eye stab era, transitioned right there from the recent eye gouge era

• Keanu getting horses to kick people to death

this was hilarious. also killing someone with a book which seemed like a particularly Keanu-specific way to off someone.

The fuck is happening on the JOHN WICK Wikipedia page? pic.twitter.com/uRC9zv1OKf

— Griffin Newman (@GriffLightning) May 20, 2019

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/to-be-fair-you-have-to-have-a-very-high-iq-to-understand-rick-and-morty

lol someone actually did it https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=John_Wick&type=revision&diff=897955582&oldid=897910397

JW4 confirmed for May 2021

i was hoping to have a good time at this and i didn't really, it was fine

theater was pretty dead, though, like five people and i was the only person who laughed at some of the rare funny bits. maybe with a liver audience it would have been more fun.

liver audience?

live-er

The audience was rather pancreatic

show some spleen ffs

it was fine

the gall!

it was fine is the new it shouldn't have been made

a fine post

I guess people in high places saw my poll clowning on the awfulness of videogame adaptations because Wick writer/director is apparently filming a Just Cause movie and now I'm actually excited about a videogame adaptation.

oh

my

god

becky

wicky

the word is "livelier"

man u said it

livelier and deadlier

what is fishburne at i love it

anyway this was good, I was trying to place where I knew the actor playing Zero the head sushi assassin from and it turned out I have only ever seen Mark Dacascos before as the Chairman on Iron Chef America

should I watch Kickboxer 5

• How are you gonna stage a fight in a room full of cauldrons of molten gold and not dump one goon into the molten gold? Boo, I say

― shared unit of analysis (unperson), Sunday, May 19, 2019 5:12 PM (three days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

was mad about this

it played with pretty much everything that way

disappointed nobody shushed them when they were fighting in the stacks.

Iron Chef Chairman was so good in this
Sonny Chiba vibes, sorta? anyway he was dope

it's true he ruled and now I've updated my desire for a Henry Golding action vehicle to include him as the buddy

i do wish he'd used his martial arts chops more on iron chef. bobby flay needed some kicking.

disappointed nobody shushed them when they were fighting in the stacks.

― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 22:38 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

big guy shushed john

anyway this was good, I was trying to place where I knew the actor playing Zero the head sushi assassin from and it turned out I have only ever seen Mark Dacascos before as the Chairman on Iron Chef America

Dacascos was, improbably, my fave of the main villains so far

he’s had a pretty solid career outiside Iron Chef doing direct-to-video action movies (TONS of them), and he’s always popping up on tv shows

and yeah, def the most charisma of the Wick villains to date

apparently Hiroyuki Sanada was originally going to have that role but he turned it down for the small part he had in Avengers Endgame

I'm basing this off of a couple of film writers and speculation, but if so: rough move

I mostly associate him with Brotherhood Of The Wolf.

OMG wait wait so you're telling me that OTT Iron Chef America announcer dude is actually in this thing and I wasn't just indulging in one of my trademarked flights of unbridled fancy when I saw an Iron Chef reference itt, okay I probably need to see this immediately.

dude leave now & go directly to the movie theater

rewatching JW2 on Wednesday, started going "it's been 20 minutes since John Wick's been thrown backwards through a pane of glass" and then someone would promptly throw him through a pane of glass, backwards

tonight this kept me so distracted with a) setpieces and b) camp that when when Wick and the fighty dudes ended up in the all-glass hall of trophies with 20 minutes left, I went "holy shit NOBODY HAS THROWN JOHN WICK BACKWARDS THROUGH A PANE OF GLASS ALL MOVIE, here. we. fuckin. go"

and, dear reader, we went.

hahaha

backwards through ALL of the glass

even the trophies, inside the glass cases sitting on the glass floor, were glass

the glassberries taste like glassberries XD

disappointed nobody shushed them when they were fighting in the stacks.

― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 22:38 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

big guy shushed john

I like how they didn’t bother reminding you that he’s wearing a bulletproof suit from John wick 2. One of my friends didn’t remember about the suit as was a little confused by how he kept getting shot and not getting hurt at all, but also not THAT confused because hey, John wick.

john wicking mechanism iirc

I thought this was even more senseless/nonsensical than the last one, with ... OK results. They really could have called it "Ow, My Balls" for all everyone got punched, kicked, shot, stabbed and, er, bit between the legs. I found it amusing that just about every trailer beforehand was for a similarly ridiculous OTT action movie: Rock and Statham, more indestructible assassin porn in "Anna," Gerard Butler fighting drones or something. Anyway, all these years later who knew that "Punisher: War Zone" would be one of the most influential action movies of all time.

Seriously, though, it's so weird they went with "Parabellum" in the title when the title should really have been "John Wick Chapter 3: Excommunicado."

Highlight of the screening may have come when I bought the ticket, to be honest. I figured I would be the only one there, but ahead of me in line was a probably septuagenarian (or possibly older, tbh) couple buying their own John Wick tix! I wonder if they had a good time? Behind me was another very elderly couple, and here was their exchange:

Man: What is John Wick?
Woman (sneering dismissively): It's stupid. It's about a detective or something.
Man: A detective?
Woman (derisively): I don't know what it's supposed to be about. But it's about ... something.

It’s about a man who is sad, MA’AM

Oh, and I've got to say, I'm shocked they did not find a way to weaponize all the broken glass in this! I was sure someone was going to get glass thrown in their eyes, or their face shoved down in the glass and stepped on or ... anything, really.

I was proper into this one

Even Larry who I found embarrassing last time, I was delighted by his energy - felt like he was doing a Welles bit or something

It was starting to lose me for similar reasons to jw2 and then berry came in and from then on I had no complaints really

LOL, I literally just had to google "Larry John Wick." Fittingly for this film: it was in one eye and out the other.

I thought the final punching/kicking stuff at the end was kind of boring, after the motorcycle/horse stuff, or even the ... knife museum? That part was great.

between MA'AM and 'in one eye and out the other' youse are doing this movie full justice itt god bless

also my pun about wicking

I finally saw the first John Wick movie last night

holy shit was that great, even if it was a hilariously bleeped-for-television-but-still-contained-all-the-violence

When the police officer showed up at his house, I lost my shit

And David Patrick Kelly! These aren’t rewatch films for me so I forget all those fun bits from the first one until I’m reminded

I’ll co-sign the villainess and raid recs itt btw, and both are so convoluted plotwise that these stand out as models of economy in comparison

Keanu and Fishburne chemistry is palpable, can’t wait til they tear it up in IV

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins) wrote this on thread self-rejected thread ideas on board {a secret borad} on 27-Dec-2016

peak-era mark dacascos poll

Fishburne's acting choices are so amazing in this

I don't know anything about Iron Chef, but I totally recognized Dacascos from "Brotherhood of the Wolf." Now *that* was a weird movie.

Is it just me, or did his character in this shift suddenly from generic zen master to total bro?

well yeah its a big jump he essentially hops from steve jobs to a steve jobs fan in one moment

lol

I have no idea what the original plan was like, Dacascos was going to originally play a smaller role and Hiroyuki Sanada was the big bad before he declined and appeared in Avengers Endgame instead. Seems like a bad misstep, but maybe he got some of that Avengers money for barely appearing in a subplot.

Dacascos improvised the couch scene! So much weird awkward energy

And then the rest of the movie he's all "dude, that was awesome!" (gives thumbs up)

I've been trying to figure out if this tidbit is something that was cut from dialogue or if Dacascos came up with it for his vision of the character's backstory

He has students in one of his last missions he kind of overstepped the boundary and was also deemed excommunicado until The Adjudicator comes and sets him back on a mission.

backwards through ALL of the glass

“If you look in John Wick, I think we did something like 39 scenes with reflections. Every scene opens with a reflection, whether it’s in a mirror or in a puddle.”

https://birthmoviesdeath.com/2019/07/01/the-universe-of-john-wick

On the same level w/ the shining in regards to mirror usage imho

This was amazing, hit after hit - along with everything already mentioned:

Assembling a Colt just for one shot.
The moment when they realise they're having a fistfight in the knife room.
Horses, also more horses.
Randall Duk Kim, the Keymaker from the Matrix II, as the doctor (also his tinge of annoyance at the alacrity with which John helps with the cover-up).
Asia Kate Dillon as the adjudicator (though with this as with Ruby Rose in 2, I'm not entirely certain whether it's actually over the line between 'cool to see because striking' and 'cool to see because weird').
Angelica Huston working ballerinas to death! Ballerinas with "Si vis pacem, para bellum" tattoos!
Upside-down orthodox cross branding!
V sinister concierge at the Casablanca Continental.
Jerome Flynn rolling all the scenery around in his mouth.
"I get it" <- been mentioned before, but it's such a great encapsulation of the character and how no-one else could really do it.
Saïd Taghmaoui - who I would like to say I remembered from La Haine, but it's probably actually from Wonder Woman.
Mark Dacascos, who I can't believe I didn't recognise - Brotherhood of the Wolf is one of my favourite films.
I was not expecting that they just went straight for 'finger off'.
"Is he one of yours?" "Well, he was."
What the lighting in the executive lounge(?) did for Ian McShane's eyes in that scene.
"Guns. Lots of guns" <- legit mad that they put this in a trailer.
The interesting levelling up from the corresponding Matrix lobby scene - general gunfire only stuns them, you have to pay attention to finish them.
The palpable pissed-offness when they come back in to get more guns.
Not forgetting that John Wick is weapon capacity porn.
An outside fireplace on a roof!
And yeah, the end.

I thought Laurence Fishburne was playing in much the same register as the second film, there's a lot of "..baby"s in there as well.
One scene that I actually thought went on too long (though I understand that methodically working your way through a crowd of goons is vmic) was the escape from Berrada's, there was a lot of shoot and shoot and dog and shoot and shoot and dog. Also did Jerome Flynn just shoot the dog's armor and wind it, then?
Halle Berry doing All the Acting in her first scene didn't really come off, I thought.

I would not have expected halfway through that nearly everyone lives, Mark Dacascos and Jerome Flynn are the only big name casualties.

Oh and the fact that the entire administrative staff for the serial killer underworld are tattooed alt types dressed up like 50s secretaries.

Also darragh very otm about what makes this series work throughout this thread.

keanu is very lean too

noticeably not!

Very insightful commentary there Andrew, though it’s shame about the belly projecting you’re falling prey to

My belly projects on its own.

Also yeah, I have come to terms with with the fact that quantity rather than quality is my forte. But enough about my belly.

After watching JW2 the night before seeing JW3, me and my gf got into a big discussion about what we imagined the backstory for the Lance Reddick's concierge character would be, which basically came down to 2 options - either he's an ultra-elite concierge and the nyc continental is like the ultimate job in the ultra-elite concierge world (what better test of your skills than maintaining yr composure & decorum while serving a bunch of people who are violent mass murderers, often literally splattered in their victims' blood), OR he's an ex assassin who has transitioned into the concierge position in his retirement (who better to know & anticipate the every need of NYCs assassins than a former assassin).

In JW3 when he begins grabbing huge guns and expertly offing people without batting an eye, we excitedly looked at each other and were like well, I guess that settles that question

Oh and the fact that the entire administrative staff for the serial killer underworld are tattooed alt types dressed up like 50s secretaries.

I want to say this was there from the beginning? At least the second one. It was a really striking choice. Made it seem like a combination of secretary pool, bookie's den, and roller derby recruitment office.

Oh yeah it was definitely in the second, slightly more striking in this one just because we see a lot more of them.

I instantly got a crush on the trans gal with the snakebites in the secretary pool

Huh, did not read them that way.

they're shown operating an actual old-timey phone switchboard!

I am watching the 2nd movie for the first time right now and the secretary pool scene really got to me

The scene of Common and Keanu casually walking down crowded hallways firing silenced pistols at each other was hilarious

^^^ amazing scene

Iirc that was directly inspired by a filming experience from the first one?

yep

keanu was walking down a corridor after lunch and who comes walking towards him but common and they drew silenced pistol and fired upon each other and they both thought "that would make a good scene if this movie were to require a sequel"

kinda disappointed we never got a djp jw3 update

Wick 3 was awful

Ian McShane does some quality work hamming it up but they wasted Halle Berry and her dogs and it's missing 99% of the humor of the first one.

yr awful

I irl lol’d for “I get it”

it's missing 99% of the humor of the first one.

John Wick horsefights a bunch of dudes in the face

is this the one where they have a big fight in a knife museum?

Yeah

also a library fight where Wick gets shushed and murders the shusher with a book

NBA's Boban Marjanovic gtfo with that shit MZ. the boss fight at the end of 3 is so fucking good. wick getting thrown through glass followed by iron chef fight is never going to disappoint.

also, rewatching 3 now and the scene where he shoots the doctor twice had me wanting a miniseries on that guy because he clearly has stories in the wickverse.

The non-gun fighting was worse than in the other two, the library fight was super stilted and they were obviously making pro wrestling-contact.

halle berrys dog mauling like 30 guys wasnt enough dog action?

think this was my favorite one yet, he goes on a vision quest in the sahara ffs

Cool side characters are only cool when they're not in the movie very much. There was a lot less of Berry's dogs than I wanted, which is the exact right amount there should be.

The dog stuff was distracting. I kept trying to analyze how each shot was set up and executed

tshot

a lot less of Berry's dogs than I wanted, which is the exact right amount there should be.

otm

Dogs scene was great. By far the best film in the series.

I like when he does the finger to pay obeisance to the assassin king

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZti8QKBWPo

....what?

https://64.media.tumblr.com/e4519dd57da2cab6efecb4ef612e5ea1/tumblr_noryc5GWgW1u5vpdco2_250.gif

what?

honestly it doesn't look great

A History of Violence except maybe in the Wickniverse this time? eh

Wickstended universe, surely

TOR had a long piece a while back positing Wick as a Portal Fantasy https://www.tor.com/2020/05/20/what-if-i-told-you-john-wick-was-a-portal-fantasy/

I think it’s a Catholic-libertarian-monarchical dystopia where the Reformation never happened. Hitmen function like privateers, the steampunk HQ the source of all the letters of marque.

I was looking for a thread about this franchise. I have absolutely no context for it but tried watching 3 last night and what did I just see? Got about 35 minutes in.

iirc you had seen the book fight and the horse fight by then, so who knows why you stopped

I don't like Bob Odenkirk and I don't understand why anyone does. Pass.

Def start watching trilogies third movie in and give it a good 35 mins

Thats the fuckin ticket

Thanks for help with context. I didn't realise there was a touchy, partisan fanbase on this board for one thing ;-)

I stopped watching because I was sleepy, and noted it was 35 minutes because I planned on watching the rest another time.

And the reason I was looking for thusnthread was to ask if it was a good idea to se the first two first.

Anyone else want to get weirdly judgemental?

Cmon mayne own yr aggravating saunter in, in same context

nb these movies are a bizzarre but wonderful trip, do in all seriousness give yourself a fair run at them sometime

Sorry missed the q

I think yeah the first say half of the first movie are vital context, real slow burn for the madness that comes

I did get that "wtf" is part of what it's about so I thought my reaction was actually a desired one. Didn't mean to imply I'd dismissed it when I said I'd shut it off but I can see how it might have read that way.

Nah we're all friends again

Watch john wick!

watch them in sequence & bask in their batshit splendor

that’s an order

#3 picks up 1 second after the end of #2, and #2 starts a day or so after #1 iirc

The WTF?? factor escalates significantly with each movie though, so if you're revelling in that, feel free to carry on enjoying the increased alienation factor of zero context! You can work through all three later and have a different ride.

Watched 1 last time I was at folks' and will be bubbling with them at Xmas. Will demand 2 and 3 tbh

2 was grand fucken Christmas fare. 3 tomorrow maybe

think 2 is maybe slightly better than 3? obv 3 starts and continues amazingly & the halle berry w/ dogs bit probably the zenith of the whole thing, but all the sudden voltes-face right at the end of 3 were a bit silly? the adjudicator suggesting a 'parlay' just v weak stuff and subsequent betrayal didn't ring true at all, pls advise

I dont think any of it holds up if you pause to think

They keep you from doing that after the first hour of one

Id personally not have much patience for the corny worldbuilding service stuff that makes up much of two but you cant rate pure energy and fun vs dry perfection after the fact imo, or at least you cant without killing the goose

that's fair, and 3 had a lot of phenomenal sequences

Also all of Keanu's career has been leading up to "I get it"

Legit cant tell if this is in the Wickiverse or not. That shot of the box of little gold bars or whatever in the trailer, is that a thing from John Wick? I can't remember all the different tokens and totems and whatnot

imago the betrayal is a ruse obviously how could you miss that

Glass room sequence in 3 is probably tops for me at this point. Close second might be the silencer shooting sequence in 2.

Horse/bike scene

John breaks the fifth wall

Library

Station shootout

Glass one tbh and this wont be popular was annoying as was the entire character of yerman

imago the betrayal is a ruse obviously how could you miss that

― is right unfortunately (silby), Friday, 1 January 2021 16:16 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

i am hoping so and did consider this at the time

seems a p big long-shot of a ruse, to shoot someone (even with armour) and knock them off a high building

Im not sold on ruse betrayal, the story is a mere skin to cover the muscles of this beast

JOHN WICK: [shoots fifty dudes]
WINSTON: jonathan you’re expelliarmus. I have no choice but to instigato you to the syndicaticus
HOT LADY: thats right
[she tries to kill John Wick]

— tier four operator OBE (@AliceAvizandum) February 23, 2020

Basically otm

Donnie Yen!!!!

Trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEVUtrk8_B4

lol that movie is going to make a billion dollars.

I hope Jason Manzoukas is in it again.

I really thought I was done after the third one, but...nope. I'm in.

John Wick 4 is 169 minutes long

nice

I hope Jason Manzoukas is in it again.

nope

I have yet to see any of the John Wicks. I suppose I should.

I am a humbugger of modern franchise cinema and even I say that Wick is mandatory

Should really be watched at Xmas mind

Sounds about right. I once watched A Clockwork Orange on Christmas Day, it really went well.

Wick rules but this shit doesn’t need to be almost 3 hours long.

Totally agree, this ain’t the godfather

Yeah, got pretty bummed seeing that runtime, but hoping this is more excessive in the vein of RRR and less like one of the recent lumpen Marvel atrocities.

I can't explain why but I want to see that trailer but with Sarah Brand "Red Dress" as the backing music

any movie over 2 hours = i'm lucky if I get through it without two pee breaks

If it’s that long that means I’ll wait to watch it at home and split it into 3 segments

normal ugh @ long run times for action movies but a) more keanu and b) moar fights

I am “pro” JW4 being seven minutes longer than Godfather 3, this is a franchise which has earned my trust. Length never bothers me, pacing does. And I assume ten minutes of this will be stunt credits at the end.

totally

Coincidentally, GF III opened on Christmas Day.

Whole lotta Wickness and thereabouts in this interview with Stahelski

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-features/john-wick-filmmaker-chad-stahelski-sequels-oscar-stunt-snubs-firearms-1235343132/

"Great party but somebodys gotta to do the dishes"
"Let it be the wickest!"

Is this the one in space?

underwater iirc

Mrs. Mandel, can you define Wickness for me?

lol

that’s the one where he hides out on a farm

i've seen all three of these and would be hard pressed to tell you what the plot is beyond 'keanu kills people and there is some assassins syndicate'. I need to rewatch before 4.

It's about honor and loyalty, which is to say, dogs and avenging them.

The best movie dog in modern history.

Big fan of bacon here

Good interview that Ned posted. I appreciate the dude’s craft; in other hands and with worse casting these series could be terrible and so many Wick knockoffs are just plain dire.

Said elsewhere these reminded me a bit of Warriors/Streets of Fire-type movies, not the Walter Hill style but this heightened reality. Probably more Warriors than anything, esp w/the entire city out to get them, a peer network turned against the hero(es).

I appreciate the dude’s craft

Yeah he seems to have the right sense of 'give the people what they want' balanced with 'let's make this as good as the setup allows.' Not always easy!

stahelski is still great at making sure the movies are in service of the action/stunts
they’re great at staying in their lane even when the story gets full on diagon alley with hidden worlds & shit

Jeez this horrible Lance Reddick news!

I often think about this story Lance Reddick told about working with Keanu on the newest Wick movie pic.twitter.com/tN3WoWsKUP

— Andrew Woods 🥈 (@JimJarmuschHair) March 17, 2023

Chapter 4 seen.

It is indeed incredibly Wick.

It is important to note there is a fully at-the-end post-credits scene.

Would you call it a kicker?

A flicker of a Wicker kicker.

…

But I kid the etc.

Donnie Yen is so fucking cool in this

Very true!

Very much worth reading this Stahelski interview but ONLY after you've seen the film.

this is the best movie i’ve ever seen

by god the only review that matters is in lads. we move.

hell yes

Loved this. Only film series I can think of that gets progressively better.

World peace would be nice but a part of me wants to live in this world where amazing fighters/assassins are so commonplace that people at dance clubs and drivers don't feel the need to avoid them that much. And it's much harder to kill people.

just got out. it was no John Wick imo but it had its moments.

as always, fantastic cast (of old people!) getting a chance to have so much fun, incredible stunts, sexy hardware if you like the kinda thing.. and of course a dog.

if this is how the wickverse ends, we got our money’s worth. tho it did leave some spin-off potential…

oh, and one brief and charming take, blink and you’ll miss it, where the body language is pure Ted
“Theodore” Logan. vv charming.

honestly a little surprised by all the love here and elsewhere, caught it cold and friday night and it felt a little like series had run out of steam for me. the first one is so lean, there's a very effective revenge angle that adds emotional weight to the fights, and it mostly doesn't look like a videogame. I like all of those things about it and I'm not so into what we've gotten instead, which seems like hours of "world building," explaining rules I don't care about in detail, and kinda deflating the action when it finally arrives. it felt a little too marvel or something, I dunno. there's good stuff here, esp donnie yen in zatoichi mode, but I walked out wishing they cut like 90mins... which is a lot of minutes.

Apparently the original cut was something like 3 1/2 hours!

furies, the sequel to veitnam's furie, also came out on netflix over the weekend. just wrapped it and was surprised by how much more I got out of it vs. wick 4.

Apparently the original cut was something like 3 1/2 hours!

looking forward to finding out more about fetch quests you gotta do when you're excommunicado lol

it’s a sumptuous action opera. everything it offered me was something i wanted. especially any scene that took place in a room that looked like a sunset was happening within it

also i feel like ppl overstate how much the world building takes up the runtime of these films but that’s prob marvel related damage

also marvel movies are shot like shit and this is shot like a fucking beautiful movie ok

sorry i’m not ready to feel jaded about this

donnie yen eating noodles in steely blue silhouette

Yeah the color palette of the films alone really is something special to see. (Did a one-a-day rewatch of them all last week in the runup to seeing 4 on Thursday, and that was the element that leapt out at me the most.)

I won’t see this until it’s streaming, but I’m both looking forward to it and glad to see the series ending. Agree that whatever else can be said about them, these movies look amazing. Every penny is on the screen, as they say.

yeah i don’t relish being a killjoy (well, maybe a little…) but i’m also kinda confused about why it felt so flat for me. had a blast with JW3 and i could probably say many
of the same things about that one.

re: marvel - i haven’t watched one since like 2004 tbh so i’m totally talking out of my ass there. prob a bad comparison but things like the poker scene, the post-credits scene, all the rules in place to pad things out, and the looming threats of spin-offs … that’s kinda just what i imagine these movies to be like.

my review: simply cannot recommend taking chantix and finishing a wick past midnight

As I say above: I think this series got better with each film but I felt the main weakness is the dialogue scenes, they're not written that well and I get the feeling some of the actors just don't care that much, the hints of past relationships doesn't add much depth. And the dog pissing on the guy just isn't funny, it feels like a cliche.
But the action scenes and the settings and how all of this is filmed more than makes up for the flaws. That's often the way it goes with this genre. John Wick 3 and 4 are ranking pretty high among my favorite action films.

I watched this with my two good buddies who are action movie junkies, and they both loved it. I hadn’t seen a wick before and action movies in general are not really my thing, but I appreciated the fight choreography (even if there are only so many times I can watch the same kill…) and the overall look of the movie.

I watched the first one last night hoping it would explain some of the high table stuff but it really didn’t! despite the length I preferred 4

take an edible and see an afternoon showing

I did think the dog peeing on the dead guy was in very poor taste but I am a humorless old snob

It is probably the film the reminds me most of 3d fighting games during and after the PS2 era (Tekken 4 for example)

like the warriors stuff, i’d hope that the dog pissing scene was a nod to *spoiler* the ending of disgraced slob seagals action classic out for justice: the search for ritchie

donnie yen eating noodles in steely blue silhouette

― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Sunday, March 26, 2023 2:25 PM (two hours ago)

otm

would see another four movies of just Donnie Yen and Rina Sawayama doing a cat-and-mouse thing

re: marvel - i haven’t watched one since like 2004 tbh so i’m totally talking out of my ass there. prob a bad comparison but things like the poker scene, the post-credits scene, all the rules in place to pad things out, and the looming threats of spin-offs … that’s kinda just what i imagine these movies to be like.

― (⊙_⊙?) (original bgm), Sunday, March 26, 2023 2:42 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

addressing this post bc i have seen a recent marvel movie (multiverse of madness) and can say that the problem with the mcu at this point (marvel fans beware i have hated most of these movies since at least spider-man: homecoming which is almost remarkably way more forgettable than any of the raimi spider-man films despite casting michael keaton as the villain, like what the fuck) is that the movies are just signposts for a long-term story that they are failing to tell well. like the movies and the post-credits scenes are just there to carry something forward that is hard to care about unless you are extremely immersed in it

whereas john wick 4 is like... pretty immediately accessible to anyone unfamiliar with the previous entries or the "rules" or whatever. and the post-credits scene just completes something brought up earlier in the film. i don't particularly care whether rina sawayama kills donnie yen, it could literally dangle forever, but the suggestion of it is enough and my imagination can fill in the gaps

just to jump in and you know i would never buy

Spiderman Homecoming is of course one of very very very few mcu efforts that are good, and not just "for an mcu movie" but as a movie

buy/but

yeah the MCU movies rely on institutional knowledge to get audiences to numb their asses on seats with opening and closing credit scenes

I'm fucking sick to death of post credit scenes

I kind of like the idea of throwing something extra to people who care to hear all the music and read the credits but if the scene is really any good, maybe everyone who left is kind of cheated?

Is there any really good post credit scenes? I'm sure there was one I liked but can't think of any. Can't remember if the supermarket scene was after the credits in Army Of Darkness.

Some post-credits sequences in Hawks and Ford films were exquisite.

I hate it because now, everybody stays until the end of EVERY movie, even if it's like a goddamn romantic comedy.

I loved what Scream 6 did, which was go to a post-credit scene where the character said "not every movie needs a fucking cut scene"

few people saw the De Palma Scarface cut scene, where Tony was very much alive and tanning his balls

I will admit the ones in Marvel films building up to the Infinity War were very cool but since that ended I've been less interested.

I don't watch trailers, I don't watch post-credit sequences.

I don't sing for nobody, makes me look like a joke

Ppl should watch all the credits anyway, I always do.

if i don’t have to pee, i usually stay anyway. esp when there are bloopers and replays of the best stunts.

furies, the sequel to veitnam's furie, also came out on netflix over the weekend. just wrapped it and was surprised by how much more I got out of it vs. wick 4.

I don't want to derail because I've enjoyed the previous three Wicks, but Furie is easily my favorite action movie of the last ten years. Going to watch the new one tonight.

yeah, also love the first one. enjoyed the second one too! they both have a lot of heart imo

Hey if there's no thread for 'em, fire it up.

This was a fun Wick, but I'm pretty glad the story is done now - as much as I was impressed by the overall filmmaking (the lighting work alone!), some of the plot points re: rules and consequences and who-betrayed-who felt a bit repetitive/tedious and I def found my attention sagging in places.

fave bits:
- bill skarsgard's goofy french accent + incredible outfits + overall ridiculousness (e.g. the part where he destroys his mobile phone and then makes another call on a gold-plated landline phone lmao)
- really impressed by Rina Sawayama - considering it's her first film role, thought she held her own against reeves, yen, sanada. Hope she gets a spin-off, I want a world where she can be both a pop diva and a legit action star
- you knew wick was gonna end up saving the dog the moment there was a dog on screen, his gravestone should've read "ultimate wife guy and dog dude" imo
- keanu reloading a gun in the half-second it takes for a bus to drive past him
- that loooooong take of ian mcshane walking past all the paintings
- overhead sequence
- stairs fall was lol

agree (spoiling nothing) the overhead sequence was where it really came to life

Weirdly I think I like the 'world-building'/non-action sequences more than the action ones in these movies. Would also be fine if there were zero guns. Psyched to see it this weekend though.

ridiculous number of on-location action scenes in this one

feeling sheepish that I couldn't quite put my finger on who the large german man was when I'm definitely a Scott Adkins fan

just putting this here

https://defector.com/the-gunplay-of-john-wick-is-a-bit-too-real-for-comfort

Saw this, didn't really like it even if in theory I like some of the things they're doing (not overexplaining backstory, real locations and choreography, etc).

Basically I don't like any of the scenes where people are shooting guns, they're boring and go on forever.

I do however like the scenes in opulent spaces where people are discussing rules and rituals, there should be much more of that.

(I'm aware this is my own fault for seeing a John Wick movie)

JW4 motivated me to rewatch part of the Ip Man series, but unfortunately, the one streaming service that I have that had Ip Man 3 only had the dubbed version. whoever made that choice should be in the hague

Enjoyed the first two, but the third was just headshot after headshot and it felt a bit uncreative, and eventually wince-enducing.

xpost still baffled at why they put Mike Tyson in that one. he didn't really add much to the movie even though I liked it a lot

saw this over the weekend for my first return to theaters after 3 years, loved it thoroughly (with one minor-ish caveat I will mention below).
Some random thoughts that haven't been brought up yet:
-Loved the weirdly specific in joke stunt casting of having the infamous Berghain door man play Klaus, the sadistic dude who helps Wick get into Wick-verse Berghain.
-Overheard sequence was the highlight for me. I assumed it was a clear Hotline Miami reference, but interviews indicate it was based on another video game called Hong Kong Massacre, which all reviews describe as a Hotline Miami clone. Still, someone in production seems to have connected the dots to Hotline Miami because the soundtrack for this one was clearly very influenced by it.
-Finally, I love Scott Adkins and was hyped to hear he was in this, but the decision to put him in a fatsuit and to make him a Fat Bastard style gross big dude felt a tad too cartoonish (for this very cartoonish franchise) and also more than a bit fatphobic. I spent the first couple minutes he was on screen trying to figure out if it really was Scott Adkins, then when I realized that it definitely was him, I was wondering why they cast him for this role instead of just getting a huge dude who could fight to do it instead. The fight itself was great, but in light of recent discourse around The Whale among other things, I feel like this aspect will age quite poorly and I'm kind of surprised to not see more objections to it online, but maybe I'm not looking in the right places. Also, tbf, my fiancee works at a hospital unit with patients who have eating disorders so we might be more sensitive to these kinds of things than most.
Still overall, this ripped and I am excited to see it again soon.

I saw this yesterday and was just about to post my incredulity that no one had mentioned there's a 20 min scene in the movie where john wick fights fat bastard

this is the first wick movie I've seen in theaters, usually I've played these movies in the background when I cook or something so I can tune out when it gets boring, and I guess I've never paid attention to them. I took the edible in an afternoon showing route, and had a very nice time having a moviegoing experience, sitting in a theater etc., but I found this to just have a really racist vibe, idk how to describe it. It felt like a racist rape-forward perfume ad about customer service, but that's just my review of the vibe of it.

The Sacré-Coeur stairs sequence is everything.

Really is!

I'm in the minority, but Bill Skarsgård delivered the laffs as purported arch-villain: serpentine, emotionally supported by Géricault canvases, aware that he's way over his head but (almost!) able to bring it off.

loved rina sawayama in this, sad she wasn't in it more. they kinda made it seem like her and jw would team up to whup some ass

i was confused by skarsgard's accent--was it intentionally like a french-african thing?

The confusion helped his performance: a kid pantomiming a marquis

ftr I didn't stick around for post-credits. I had an Easter brunch to hit and it was already late.

I liked Skarsgård but watching the staircase sequence felt like as much of a slog as it was supposed to be for the characters, and I don't accept that that was the intent.

Anyway

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4GmiggFXRI

I thought this was great, especially the sound design. Very specific about where bullets and casings were hitting and landing.

There's something about the Wick movies, where they take themselves very seriously but ... maybe not totally seriously? They're pretty untethered to any sort of reality by this ridiculous but inspired concept of a global underground secret society of stylish and superhumanly trained hitmen and assassins, hiding in plain sight and bound by rules and honor and ancient codes of conduct, let alone Wick himself, an unstoppable, indefatigable force that leaves behind literally hundreds of bodies in prominent places around the world over the course of, what, a week or so? I'd love to see the headlines.

Someone put the four-movie death count at 439, most of which come at the hands of Wick. I love how even after leaving behind a bloody trail of the best-trained (would-be) killers, still more fodder come out of the woodwork to try to take him on. Like, sure, he just killed 400 people single-handedly, but hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take!

Oh, and fuck a post credits sequence. If it's important, put it in the fucking movie, which was already (checks watch) plenty minutes long.

I've never seen any of the Fast and Furious movies, are they at all like this? They just always seemed dumb to me.

f&f are far worse imo

I really wanted to see Wick in the theatre but had to walk out when it started because it was painfully loud. I was hoping it was just the previews but nope. Am I just getting old? This was the first time I’ve been to the cinema in 4 yrs. We checked a decibel measuring app and it was as loud as jet engines.

This is fun but Bill Skarsgard weird accent is just bad bad bad.

*Skarsgard's

Skarsgård's

mh otm

i realize i am uncharacteristically late to the John Wick 4 party

you guys <3

Full operatic mode! whole-ass epic! oh and YES we are climbing the darkened stairway to heaven and when we get there hold on to your butts because we’re duelling under a SKY that looks like a goddamn Titian painting

cannot love this series enough
i love this one SO much

the color stories, the fact that they are mixing all these weapons in these fight sequences so harmoniously and still finding ways to catch my breath w the choreography or even just whimsical situational settings like the Arc De Triomphe traffic fight that shouldnt work but do!

ugh

amazing
so happy

donnie yen’s fight sequences in this are so great, i love the way he moves. he’s so quick, and with the cane/sword it was like he was tap dancing sometimes? lol

Just came across this amazing photo on Twitter:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FxIR9qcXsAAxemj.jpg

N.B.: the shirt is fake, but there is an argument being made that the movies represent the five stages of grief, so there's gonna have to be one more...

oh god please no

I thought part five was reported as in development just a day or two ago ...

yup. I'm just extremely anti the bad and wrong "stages of grief" framework.

Stahelski and Reeves have not changed their position on another one, regardless of what the head of Lionsgate says while promoting spin-offs

getting very weary now of people tacking coherent narratives on top of this series, it’s *supposed* to be a big dumb wishlist of cool shit they wanted to see in an action movies & stahelski really hasn’t changed his statements to that effect over the years

… overthinking it makes it so much lamer

stages of grief lol FOH

It’s coherent in that Wick’s dedication to honour, rules and revenge only create death and misery around him (leading to his choice at the end of 4) — but this is explicitly the fundamental narrative engine of the series, not a dazzling revelation found only in masters-level analysis of hidden messages

exactly

I heard there might be shooting and kicking in part 5, but at this stage I think that's just a rumor.

The five stages of kicking and shooting.

five stages of fucking your shit up

five stages of tactical fashion

five stages of gun-fu

Wait, this Finnish sort of WWII-set Wick movie came and went already?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGbr-aAnKTo

Watched SISU tonight - it’s totally OTT, gory as fuck, kinda funny, definitely fun.

I thought it was pretty slight. He's basically a superhero and there isn't enough impressive fighting technique or quality spectacle to make it feel substantial. Wish I hadn't bothered.

i’ve been down a Buster Keaton rabbithole lately & read a great interview w Chad Stahelski and critic Dana Stevens (author of Keaton bio “Camera Man”) about the silent film/Keaton parallels in John Wick

https://slate.com/culture/2023/03/john-wick-4-keanu-reeves-buster-keaton.html

Some woman in the seat across from me on the airplane watched this twice in a row so, so did i. Worked without any sound obviously

the stairway scene with the falling definitely had its parallels

Yet more Wick:

https://variety.com/2025/film/news/keanu-reeves-john-wick-5-cinemacon-1236353834/

“In both animation and the world of ‘John Wick,’ the possibilities are endless. And there is no ‘John Wick’ story fans are clamoring for more than the ‘Impossible Task,'” Fogelson said.

hands up who has been clamouring

*clamours*

Yeah, I could clamour

but have you specifically been clamouring for “The Impossible Task”?

i swear officer i havent clamored even once

I keep looking at that 2:50 runtime for Wick 4 and moving on. That's too much Wick!

Eh, 50 minutes of that is a single awesome fight up a set of stairs.

John Wick: TIT

ok lads

Chow Yun Fat is in that Yen directed one, I hear? It'll probably suck but man would I be happy to see that guy again.

giving Donnie Yen a movie in any franchise sounds like a fun idea

I appreciate how this review (from one of the site's most, how to put it, slavering fanboy types in general) spends almost its entirety backing into an apologia for liking something because it's brainless/brilliant action trash in that I imagined unperson shouting in response "YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THAT."

flagging you for linking to an article by that individual

A risk I ran, granted.

I kid, but his writing definitely has not changed much

One thing that struck me about Peter Bradshaw's review in The Guardian:
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/jun/04/ballerina-review-ana-de-armas-racks-up-the-kills-as-she-pirouettes-into-john-wick-spin-off

Is that it doesn't read as if the author has actually seen the film. It reads as if it was synthesised from a plot summary and a couple of trailers. The first paragraph tells us that it's a John Wick spin-off. The second has some unfunny non-jokes and a suggestion that the author has seen some of the publicity material. The third paragraph is a plot summary, except it doesn't even describe the plot, it just describes the basic scenario. The fourth wraps things up.

It's just curiously empty. But Bradshaw presumably had enough time to see the film, and would have been invited to a press screening or at least given a digital copy. He would have much less pressure to synthesise the review from publicity materials, and yet that's how it reads. If he was trying to make a satirical point about the film's lack of substance it doesn't come across.

I mean, there are essentially only three sentences about acting, all about the lead actor ("(de Armas) proves again she can do action", a bit about switching magazines, "de Armas mixes things up and she is a smart screen presence"). Are any of the other actors effective? No idea. Are there any good lines? No idea. What is the actual plot? Dunno. Is the film visually inventive? I can't tell.

I realise film reviews aren't The Guardian's core competency, but I could have generated a more entertaining, more thorough review myself solely from re-watching the Cuba sequence in No Time to Die and reading Ballerina's TVTropes page. If anyone who works for The Guardian is reading this, I'm prepared to undercut Peter Bradshaw by £10p/a. You'd get better content, more of it, and you'd save £10 a year, for which you could buy a really nice large cod to go with your chips. Think it over.

I didn’t click on Ned’s link but “the-incredible-action-in-ballerina-masks-how-dumb-the-rest-of-it-is-2000607943” — o rly for a film where Chad Stahelski allegedly came in and reshot all of the action sequences after Len Wiseman turned in his cut?

Roffle.

i realize some of its timing & whatever but having Wiseman direct it in the first place just seemed doomed to me, like even on paper I dont want to see it!

I appreciate how Stahelski himself was also "The Continental? Fuck that."

https://gizmodo.com/like-us-the-director-of-john-wick-didnt-love-the-continental-2000611816

<3

“Bernardo Bertucci or Andrei Tchaikovsky”

Perhaps he's AI

so glad I didnt waste my time on the The Continental

I'm distressed to find out that I've seen both of Len Wiseman's previous non-Underworld films. I mean, a plane journey was involved in both cases..

All of this reads much funnier and better when I substitute Frederick Wiseman for Len Wiseman. Better movies too

can confirm recommendation way upthread - SISU is great (and currently streaming on Peacock)

very much a spiritual relative of Wick, on a much smaller, far more pared-down scale