Canceling Ellen and the NFL: QUEER FALL of 2019

you asked for it

What'd the NFL do now?

(my newsfeed currently clogged up by Canadian election stuff. I did see the Ellen thing, though.)

well they're all scum, including Jerry Jones who invited Ellen and Dubya to sit in his box (ewwww)

xp

Ah! Didn't know the setting of the Ellen/Dubya summit. Just heard that she was palling around with homophobes again.

they're just people with different views! who take rights away

I have no issue with them being friends at all, don't see what's wrong with it. She should be visiting him in jail

I'm more offended by her milquetoast idea of humor.

I had something to say but I said it elsewhere, I'm just having a really fucking lousy week

Being friends with GWB seems consistent with just about everything else she's rumored to be like behind-the-scenes.

a dry drunk?

a day drunk

a gay drunk

a goy drunk

hasenpfeffer incorporated we're gonna do it

i for one am starting to grow concerned that ellen isn't a communist

certainly no daylight btwn Friend of Bush and commie

it's dwindling

i have to tell you guys that i've been "entertaining" a lot lately
really taking advantage of this having the apartment to myself thing

Yesterday I was like “I’m really looking forward to being single so I can focus on the things that really matter to me”

Today I am vacuuming up Tinder likes and securing a schedule of fuckboys for the rest of the week

omg did i miss something? did something just happen? sorry i haven't read thru all the messages.

Ellen went to a football game and palled around with George W. Bush, notorious homophobe and war criminal. When people got upset at her, she said, "I am friends with all kinds of people, we need to be kinder to each other and respect each other's opinions" as if he was just some dude on the street and not a man with hundreds of thousands of corpses on his hands.

like i understand why people are upset at her response, weirdly, but not at her for palling around with him....

all politicians and all celebrities are sociopathic narcissists. ALL of them. they exist in a different world than we do, and are friends with each other because they're rich and well-connected. morals don't matter in their world.

giving the fall thread a political title was a bad idea but i guess we should just make the most of it.

lol @ cancelling Ellen over this

I love the title but I don’t get the NFL ref

well it happened in an NFL stadium and I was desperate (and hate football)

I agree w/ Sotosyn that I cancelled Ellen for her "comedy"

faggotry is political, map

… or it will be again once we shoot fucking Buttigieg into space

Ooh yes. Let’s please go down that badger hole now!

Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' rotten badgers.

a boy drunk

Pete Badgergieg

tbh you should all cancel yourselves permanently for mentioning a lesbian for the first time about 8 years into this thread cycle. I include myself.

p sure I mentioned Lily Tomlin in the last thread

all W apologists report directly to guillotine

fgti: did something happen with yr relationship? (sorry if you wrote about this elsewhere)

as if he was just some dude on the street and not a man with hundreds of thousands of corpses on his hands.

celebrities live in a different world, in which celebrity itself is a potent equalizer, so that Ellen may well see GWB as just another member of the celebrity club, one who slightly outranks her, but not enough to matter.

"all politicians and all celebrities are sociopathic narcissists"

- the table is the table

I should also add: "ALL of them"

"all politicians and all celebrities are sociopathic narcissists"

- the table is the table

― Dan S, Wednesday, October 9, 2019 10:33 PM (twenty-nine minutes ago)

I should know, I'm dating someone who is skirting the line.

is he on the Vikings?

VIkings characters are mostly very hot

@ donna, ya we broke up. I’m sad about it! He is and was wonderful! But we weren’t seeing eye to eye about certain things. We’re getting along and pursuing other people and still living together and taking care of our dog and it’s very sad but also a relief, to an extent.

I asked my uni crush out on a date today and he said yes and we’re gonna do that next weekend. I literally was lining over him every day when I was 20. Now we’re going on a date (I have told him about my childhood crush on him and he’s flattered by it)

Pining, not lining. I don’t know how a person lines over someone

I know Ellen's strap game is trash

— Fiona Applebum Says Don't Give Shaun King Money!🍎 (@WrittenByHanna) October 10, 2019

Wow

Warren's "Then just marry one woman" joke
vs.
Biden waxing nostalgic about the era of "gay bathhouses and round-the-clock sex"?

🚨 bruce labruce sassed me back on twitter 🚨

i mean, everyone knows i'm an opinionated asshole, but that opinion is correct. it takes sociopathic and narcissistic tendencies to think that you deserve that amount of adulation and power over others. don't really understand why that's controversial.

i was just in NYC for a wedding (queer) and got cruised a bunch and then re-installed Grindr, scrolled around for 15 minutes, then uninstalled it again lol.

well i'd go with *most* celebrities... % of pols likely close to 100

here's some news everyone can use: i love getting checked out in public

same!

👍👍

👀👀

happened to me on the train the other week!

enjoy it before youre decrepit!

Never happened to me. Must be nice.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B3ilOAXnuMz/

It's happened to you.

Is that the Spiderman twerp?

hello! i engaged in a new activity with a man yesterday
it is something i have never done before
any guesses????
it seems to be ALL THE RAVE right now

pee?

Consensual asexuality?

map!!!!

doin' it to bad rave soundtrack

lol

girl you know i'm a Lebanese kid from Long Island, you know i already done that

hahaha

my other guess is .. sounding? what is all the rage right now anyways

ummm... first of all i am clearly showing my age thinking the expression was "ALL THE RAVE"

and second you totally already nailed it mappy

Which guess by map? Why not both? At the same time?

omg NO i cannot sound, that seriously sounds ridiculous
no i uh... quenched some guy's thirst tbh
I DIDN'T HATE IT

*coughdrop* I think there's a thread for this, winky emoji

i know i'm so sorry, you're totally right

that reminds me, today is the 20th anniv of the film Fight Club!

"Urine is sterile. You can drink it."

a supergay classic btw

https://thequietus.com/articles/27232-fight-club-anniversary

(The novel famously introduced the word “snowflake” into the political vocabulary, but its context is less often noted. In the film, Tyler says “you are not a unique snowflake” while ordering around a group of men working in his garden as an attempt at indoctrination).

I did not know this.

you are the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world

and boy are we

hi Brad!!! Brad i have always loved our shared music taste. have you been on these threads before???

I Lost My Coughdrop in El Se-culo

hi, Brad! If you're gonna hang out here, get used to stale jokes and fresh gays, or stale jokes and staler gays.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6jcvlT4Bf1qgvdf9o2_500.gif

https://media.giphy.com/media/ifnfCc7Wr9PCo/giphy.gif

hi i have only ever lurked on the gay thread before. awfully gay in here tbh

Ooh yes. Let’s please go down that badger hole now!

― Pauline Male (Eric H.), Wednesday, October 9, 201

The cough drop thread. Omg.

the other day i said to someone, "i used to bounce around on dicks like it was my job."

and then i paused for a second, and was like, "wait, it WAS my job!"

lol.

escorting diary

oh hey, yeah! "i can feel your spirit!" wow.

how did I miss that thread??

actually I guess I wasn’t really reading ILX at the time but still wow

lol i had no idea!!!!!

sell the film rights, map

i'm supposed to have a date on dry land tonight... i feel like, really, i have to seem interesting at a restaurant? can't we just cut to the chase? like i have enough friends

u never know, surm

awwwww was that MORBS being optimistic??????? i feel like i'm...melting

I think he meant you could end up throwing up at the table.

do as i say not as i do

(havent had a date in maybe 15-20 years)

also i have maybe 2 gay friends in town

Morbs are you going to the second woman????????

Alfred, I thought I'd bring this hear rather than following up on the ILM tracks thread.

I like it too but voted for "Michael," which remains awesome. Not enough songs about your straight drunk friends getting frisky with you on the dance floor.

About a year or so ago I met this incredibly charismatic guy - good looking, not mega handsome or anything. I said to my friend that I liked this guy so much but couldn't really explain why. He's called Michael, She told me, and said he was straight but that men, gay and straight often felt that way about him, "in fact", she went on, "He's the Michael that the Franz Ferdinand song is about"! - She wasn't joking.

here*

The what?

About a year or so ago I met this incredibly charismatic guy - good looking, not mega handsome or anything. I said to my friend that I liked this guy so much but couldn't really explain why. He's called Michael, She told me, and said he was straight but that men, gay and straight often felt that way about him, "in fact", she went on, "He's the Michael that the Franz Ferdinand song is about"! - She wasn't joking.

― What a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers (jed_),

HEY YOU

i'm also a little like EXCUSE ME to that

Morbz,

also i have maybe 2 gay friends in town

also EXCUSE ME.

having come back to ilx recently, i'm like " wow this is a nostalgia factory."

it kind of makes me feel old.

It's nostalgia only if posters get wobbly-chinned about the past. I see little evidence.

I dint know you were in this town, tabes

it was a piece at bam Morbsy

ummm listen, i'm in furniture hell

i realllllly want a decorator :/

Wow I have such a story to tell, but I can't so I won't, I'll just tell the ending:

1. My ex and I have agreed to live together for the rest of the year, sex = no, cuddling = yes, don't ask don't tell re: other activities, separate social circles. I'm trepidatious but optimistic.

2. I am rather suddenly extremely a very good bottom.

3. I have an NSA sex date with a female friend this week.

Pray for me, pray for this living arrangement to do what it's supposed to (make us friends again, as we were before we dated). Pray for my butthole. Pray for my poor gay soul.

xo

you can do it with your ex. if i could get thru getting out of an 18 yr relationship, you can so do it.

i think your BH will be the more difficult thing to take care of. sadly i don't have helpful tips on that front.

but i will definitely say a little prayer for your soul, even though i think you're a good person and you don't need it :P

Yeah! I think it will be tough, we were Really Happy for a Really Long Time but two months of weekly fights revealed a lot of problems and the decision to end it. The memory of “happiness” is still fresh and it’s painful, BUT with every relationship I’ve been in there’s been a shift to friendship that does happen and it’s the most wonderful feeling so I’m keeping my fingers crossed

Every night I'll say a prayer for your anus, fgti!

While riding I think of us, dear.

Rejected: I say a little prayer for poo.

Thanks guys, my butthole is smiling at all of you

use poop for kohl eyes!

Hello! I am not gay. But I have a question for my queer and gay friends. How do you all feel about outing? I'm told by one acquaintance (who lives in Kansas, mind you) that doing this is ALWAYS homophobic, even if done by gay activists. This seems...well, quite wrongheaded to me. But maybe my perception is warped by living in the Bay Area. I mean, outing anti-gay GOP politicians who have voted for discriminatory policies seems, IMO, to be perfectly ok.

Everyone's OK with that, basically.

hi akm! i am ok with that too but i guess i would need other examples to fairly assess.

so like... i have a date with a really sweet guy named Nick this weekend, and i'm still seeing this fun guy named Julian, and i've cultivated 2 regulars in the neighborhood soooooooooo yeah not hating being single

surm, akm's asking if you can hit on an anti-gay GOP friend of his.

hahaha

https://thebloggesswp.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/200w_d-1.gif

what's up, queers

hiiiiiiiii how are you patron sailor

i've been gay married for 2 years now, whats new with y'all

oh, hey you!

hey morbs!

i've been mostly been hanging out on twitter for the last... however many years its been... but decided i needed a break because of reasons. so here i am, just checkin things out.

also i have boy problems rn and that boy is on twitter so

boy problems
who's got'em

in other news i'm... kind of an astrologer now? not professionally taking clients as yet but that may just be a matter of time.

wtg!

hello sailor!

Hello sailor!

I have been dealing with a breakup by extremely slutting around and it’s been prob counter-productive to what I should be doing (reconnecting with friends, reading books) but it has been helpful in some ways (getting over the guy, feeling good about my body again) and non-obtrusive in others (I’m still going to the gym a lot and getting lots of work done).

I’ve not had a slutty phase of my life since my early 20s and I’m arriving at some conclusions:

- it’s fun but wasteful
- I have tracked size queen tendencies in myself that are entirely a result of this present lifestyle and its currencies
- the excitement of a new body and their new body language is palpable but not really enough to justify all the required work that’s involved
- it seems that generally I’m much more into socializing with these men than they’re used to and it is appreciated by them and me as well

I think my future is bf dick or no dick at all, I just can’t really get used to ho life but it’s nice to know that I’m good at it? It’s also pretty empowering to have become a pro bottom and know that I can basically just make a man happy at any time any where. A willing anus feels like a magical talisman

i remember you saying once that you didn't like big dicks because it was like handling a trumpet and i think about that often

I used the same reed in my clarinet for months when I was in band, so I sympathize.

the excitement of a new body and their new body language is palpable but not really enough to justify all the required work that’s involved

i usually find that i feel that way the first time, kind of after the second time, and not after the third

for my countless sins i am currently trying to get over an unrequited affliction that i've been nursing for months and months now and it's all very heartbreaking and tedious

the excitement of a new body and their new body language is palpable but not really enough to justify all the required work that’s involved

when I turned thirty, I thought this sentiment was a consequence; now I realize it's a state of mind. I still adore picking up guys at bars, but I also acknowledge that, for a guy who doesn't understand sports, the competitiveness is the draw; I'm perfectly willing to think, "Thank you, next!" before my place or his.

ok so here is my sad gay tale:

dude chats me up on scruff, he's touring, puts me on the list for his show a couple days later. end up meeting him the night before the show: he's a musician/producer, charming, kind, impossibly handsome and just as talented, kind of a big deal, just a cool ass cat, and he's so into me. it's too much.

i get to the show the next evening. it's incredible to the extent that I have, no hyperbole, a full-blown ecstatic experience. chakras looking up like a damn pinball machine, the whole bit. i'm sure it sounds corny but i had epiphanies I'm still unpacking over 6 months later.

we link up after the show, i pull him away to a bar, and from there to a love nest i had the foresight to arrange. and then he's back in the tour van before 7am for the next stop, and i'm left with a very delaney & bonnie mood, you dig? he gave me a whole experience. i didn't really know what to do with everything that had suddenly happened.

anyway, months of intermittent communication has made it pretty plain that I had taken the greater portion of meaningfulness from our encounter. someone has to, right? but i got hung up, took it personal, and proceeded to hurt my own feelings for months about it.

anyway, i'm still quite tender from the whole affair. trying to take what i can and be grateful, but it's a terribly lonely feeling, unable as I am to share my side of such a big experience with the person who was such a central part of it.

tl;dr he killed me softly

I had taken the greater portion of meaningfulness from our encounter.

what a beautiful clause

great post & i feel you, even a year after something similar and having found myself in a very rewarding relationship

I like your post patron sailor

I really enjoyed hooking up with you too, patron sailor, fwiw

oh, you!!! ;-)

part of coming to terms with that experience has been, well... claiming all the ways I created it. for as impressed as i was by him, didn't i allure him as well? aren't i worthy of desire? it seems i might be!! i have to give myself some credit

and in context, the spiritual aspect (such as it was) held as much to do with personal practices i'd been performing for several months leading up to the whole shebang. it didn't come from nowhere! but this dude was the catalyst that precipitated a lot of weird stuff for me, including some gender trouble, so it def threw me

and so here i am with all this epic meaning built up around this one night stand with a touring musician and oh my GOD have you ever seen such a pathetic sight, bless my lil faggot heart

i appreciate you all for your forbearance as i puke feelings, i don't really have another bucket for these right now :(

I've lost my ability to pick up guys at bars 100%, and that's not a recent development

been 100% unboyfriendable my entire life

so everything's been simple for awhile, and I can spiral into being unhireable with onerous medical bills w/out any distractions

pursuing sex is the worst fucking thing in the world when youre bad at it

(and as for working out to be a more enticing ho, fuck that shit now and forever)

bless you morbs, you are a constant in these uncertain times.

well that's what plagues me

should i go to the Gay Bar in Exile on H'ween night? no costume plans

"strange loop" popped up on my playlist again and i just want everyone in the world to hear larry owens singing "Second Wave"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYGQIjQqMdQ

i remember you saying once that you didn't like big dicks because it was like handling a trumpet and i think about that often

My feelings about this topic have revised somewhat

i am trying to decide whether to go to brooklyn on monday for a high school a cappella group reunion of sorts. on the one hand i'm not trying to revisit that time in my life rn; on the other, maybe it's worth going. i've been trying to remember who i was as a young performer and why and how i let that thing that brought me such joy fade from my life.

My feelings about this topic have revised somewhat

― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, October 31, 2019 10:38 AM (two hours ago)bookmarkflaglink

stan

the perfect big dick is about 7.5 inches, anything else is too much work

or just hazardous

Protein-rich diets, man.

hi patron!!!! good to have you back

i really don't know if i feel there is too big...

what a lovely guy i saw last night! we've been hanging out a lot-ish. he called out of the blue and had me over his apartment, where he made me a caeser salad with homemade croutons, fed me a lot of wine and dessert, and then blew me in the kitchen

https://media.giphy.com/media/jnDikQttGnBGNlXGzM/giphy.gif

Um ok I have a fuckbuddy now and I don’t know what to tell you, I was smiling and gasping the entire time and we’ve been texting each other all day like “wtf was that” and “when can I see you again” and I am looking forward to many sleepovers with the man

are you doing this on weekday nights? I get around a bit and can't think of fuckbuddies on Tuesday nights, say.

so nice congrats!!!!

I am on my way over to his place right now and I’ve been thinking of his redacted in my redacted for 36 hours straight and the best part of all of it is how Loving and Sweet he is this is some truly healing bullshit

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
SEXUAL HEALING BRO

I can’t say “best sex of my life” because that typically happens around the one year mark of a relationship for me but this is truly some insane thing that is happening, my body and mind feel transformed

my body feels transformed too but that's because of my bodywork practitioner Nicole

no but seriously i felt like a Victorian whore this weekend i must have had 4 people in and out of the apartment. i don't know if being single is the best thing that ever happened to me or i'm going to do early from some rare form of syphilis

you're in luck as there's only one form iirc but the butt shot's a bitch

um
i had that butt shot last year
and i honestly felt i was dying
i was in bed for 10 hours
and then i watched "it follows"

hahaha it most certainly does

I was lying in bed with my buddy a few days ago, he's a professional classical pianist, and we were talking about our favourite piano music. I told him how much I loved the Ives "Concord Sonata" and he said he'd never heard it, but he'd check it out.

A couple days later (yesterday), I had a bad fight with my ex-bf (I'm moving out today, the fight was resolved last night, all is well), but my buddy knew I was having a hard time. To cheer me up he sent me a video of him at the piano. He'd learned the third movement of "Concord" in the intervening 36 hours and played it perfectly and I watched the video and started sobbing in the street.

LIKE WHAT A FUCKING NICE THING TO DO

<3 <3 <3 that is so incredibly sweet

fgti now makes two posters in this thread to be fucking a professional classic pianist

I didn't feel particularly badly about my station in love life until now. Thanks, thread.

Just kidding tho. Honestly, I've never been hurt so consistently and reliably than by trained musicians. (No offense intended.)

PS J0rdy I saw you on grindr the other day cuteface xxxx

it helps that i see mine about 3x a year and we keep it kinky

In 2005, I was fucking a painter.

A house painter.

When I was a painter I painted you well
Too bad I have to die
You brought the essentials, perversion appeal
And many lovers at one time

PS J0rdy I saw you on grindr the other day cuteface xxxx

― surm, Tuesday, November 5, 2019 4:26 PM (ten minutes ago)bookmarkflaglink

omg wait what! i do not have grindr

is someone using my picture to catfish...

wait WAHT. it looked...so much like you
like i was sure

if you see it again screenshot and send it to me... now im really curious

i sure will

hi

i have a date tonight with a 26 year old named Jacob. i like him a lot, he's nice and sweet in that way you really don't find often. authentic, awkward. it's really lovely. only thing is the first time we hung out i had to ask him to use my mouthwash. if this is a perpetual problem i might have to duck out.

where do you find these men? (be as general in your answer as you like)

Acquaintances, always, me. Rebound and I are getting attached in an apprehensive but real way, the sex is yes actually “the best of my life” and he is expressing the same both verbally and with his body language, what narrative is contained in the next twenty pages?

personally i’m excited to find out

fgti this is a very exciting time in a friendship, i’m happy for you

My ex and I broke up for many reasons but chief amongst them was a perceived “lack of sexual chemistry” on his end; I was resentful and annoyed that a life together was being thrown over for something that could be, you know, worked on?

But after [redacted] and [redacted, redacted] the other night and I was left babbling and hallucinating? I started crying a little, like, wow, he was right. We really didn’t have that chemistry and I guess I’d forgotten was truly amazing sex could do to a man, you know?

i had a similar realization after my break up!

my ex and i opened our relationship upon my insistence bcuz the sex really wasn't working for me, and i ended up having far more satisfying sex with other guys. in turn, it did make the sex w/ my ex better but i chalked the years of often unsatisfying sex up to simply what happens between two ppl in a relationship. but my relationships since then have taught me that in fact my ex and i just didn't have sexual chemistry, and that it could only be worked on to a very small extent, and that i was much better off in a sexually satisfying relationship. and, on the other hand, my ex used to say that he just didn't have that much of a sex drive, but i think he probably realizes now he just didn't like having sex w/ me that much.

there is no better physical high that i've felt than in the moments after an incredible orgasm. it's real!

Yeah. I reacted badly, both internally and externally, to certain of his comments. I couldn’t understand why he felt more attracted to “sex with anons” than sex with me. (Granted, he extremely crossed the line several times, sexting my friends, hooking up with his exes, and other stuff I won’t get into.)

It was destroying me! And when all the onus for our lack of chemistry was dumped on me? It fucking SUCKED. I’m glad I’m gone.

But we’re getting along great now as friends since I moved out and I’m remembering great sex and having my mind blown on the reg and I hope my ex is too

The key is to realize early in a relationship the limits of your sexual adventurousness with your lover before the extracurricular experimentation reminds you that it's too late to save the friendship. I don't know any queer couples who learned this early enough to save a coupledom that was doomed next year or in five years. Obviously, the older you are, the more likely the compromises.

Well yeah, I agree. Extracurricular stuff has to be done as a way of strengthening an already-strong relationship, not as a bandaid for a weak relationship. In my past experience, this was the case. With this relationship, it was not, and I was internalizing a lot of his activities as being “me needing to step up my game”, which of course, only made our sexual relationship even weaker.

I can’t really overstate how damaging a lot of the stuff he said and did really were to me :( but I’m recovering quickly, only took a few good fucks for me to walk away from it, self-esteem restored

...

A Few Good Fucks

I am still sad abt it gotta admit.. this issue aside it was a terrific relationship. Hoping that all the best parts of the relationship continue in a friendship? hoping that’s the case

the detritus of an intense relationship takes a long time to settle. i'm still going through it and even though i feel better than i have in a long, long time, there are some things that are deeply registered from the way years played out with my ex that i'm not sure i'll ever get over. you take the good with the bad.

i had a similar realization after my break up!

― J0rdan S., Saturday, November 9, 2019 5:47 PM (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

same. hardcore. i never knew how much i needed sex.

same hardcore

and yes most folks i meet on grindr or scruff
it's been way too easy to do that living alone
i used to go out semi regularly to meet guys but...
i dunno

Bars

We were making up funny Joni song titles in the group chat and I've decided that it's very important that I write a song called "The Last Time I Saw Dick"

the last time i saw it was last night and let me tell you, it wasn't good

lol

surm, I congratulate for not stopping. I don't care enough about anything except George Eliot novels to want it every night.

listen, i'm not gonna let the fact that i have no abs stop me from getting my fill. but i will try to work on the abs this winter.

lol, i haven't had sex in so long all of this seems distant.

and of course now that my asshole is on my abdomen, it's not like i can just go out and fuck anyone. *sigh*

<3

I was at an extremely posh fundraising dinner as a kind of adjunct because I was DJing at the party afterwards and was seated at a table with four rich but extremely nice people I'd never met and who didn't all know each other either. I was sitting beside a mid 50s woman who'd moved from Malta to Glasgow a decade or so earlier to Marry a Glaswegian. I asked her, for the table conversation rather than one-to-one, if she missed the Sun and she explained that it was the hardest thing about it and went on "... I just make up for it by getting as much Vitamin D as I can get, I take Vitamin D daily and I'll take it in any form".

The more she talked about it the more I couldn't hold it in and lept up from the table and ran to the toilets. It was a bit awkward when I returned but I guess them thinking that I was going to shit myself and had to make it to the look IMMEDIATELY was less embarrassing than the other option, that I was pissing myselg laughing in a cubicle.

no apologies for emo post, but i'll tell you one thing:

i think i'm going to start doing really sad, brooding guitar covers of Erasure songs.

i'm pretty sure Erasure made me gay.

i need to figure out the next sad brooding chapter of music in my life as well
i think it's about to hit
as my keyboard is broken
and i've officially hit the rock bottom of my breakup
not insofar as missing him is concerned but the other stuff like
family, friends, money, taking care of myself, wondering if i'll self-destruct
so i definitely see some whiskey soaked nights of banging on my backup keyboard in my imminent future

My experience with breakups are that the hardest part of it is reformatting the brain, erasing the subroutines of "giving care" and "receiving care" from the single person, so that one can build new synaptic "care" subroutines relating only to oneself (or to a new partner if one exists).

I find myself not desiring a re-genesis of my relationships with my exes so much as I'm missing "the good period"-- I miss when we loved each other, I miss when that care felt unconditional and uncoloured by latter-day emotional mismanagement. I feel this way with my ex-ltr, when I visit him in Montreal, and see how he's completely redecorated, and has a new friend circle, and he clearly desires for a second chance with me, but we both know it's more a feeling of the lack of each other than that it's a good idea. I feel this way with my recent ex, and see how he's completely moved on and is seeing new people, and I clearly desire a second chance with him, but I know it is, again, missing the people that we both were years ago; we are not those people any longer.

wow, yeah there it is. lol. i have realized all this in a detritus of redecorating myself. thanks for putting it in perspective. i refuse to let it get me down, but it did for a minute.

My fuckbuddy and I, idk, there are palpable feelings of "love" just oozing out of every pore between us, it is very nice. I had a post-coital babble last night that went like, "you get to ask me to make three big favours. Big life changey sorts of things. The first you can ask me any time. The second you can ask me in the event that we're having a fight and I'm in the wrong and you have no other choice to get through to me about it. The third is something you can ask of me after we've agreed to end our relationship." I don't know where this came from but I think it has a certain poetic niceness. What better way to express affection to somebody than to say "you can boss me around when it is required"

I'm somewhat giddy in anticipation at the possibility that we might have a fight a couple years from now and he might order me to shave my head and move to Ecuador and I WILL DO EXACTLY THAT

lol. i like it. kind of like a game. in my amorphous state this weekend a fb of mine took me out for the day and took me for a ride on a motor bike and i really appreciated that.

i guess the funny part about going through the process you described is that after the first night we decided to separate and save for only one other occasion, this has all seemed easy AF. and then all of a sudden i looked around and realized it's not just the loss, it's everything else. i think i've caught myself just in time, here's hoping.

anyway sorry to be so self-indulgent today. would love to hear how people who are not going through a major life event are doing :P

My niece is learning how to go poopoo in the potty.

very assimilationist of her

that is a big step

@ surm, I keep a journal and any time I feel a "wow I miss him" moment, I make sure that I follow up this feeling with a consultation of the many distressed journal entries I made over the months leading up to the breakup. I don't look at the photos of us from the first couple years-- those are happy, and thus are dangerous. Remember the bad times at the present! not in a "shit fuck what an asshole" sort of way but in a "thank god that's over" sort of way.

I am pleased to report tho that both my ex-ltr and my recent ex are getting along really fucking well these days. I had cocktails with the ex-ltr this past weekend and it was sassy and fun. I just went over to the recent ex's house and played piano for him and we cuddled our dog. I made him tea and he brought me dim sum from lunch he had with his mom. We hugged goodbye and he ruffled my hair. Breakups can be fucking gorgeous.

:) thank you for all your words
that sounds really nice the way that's panned out
and yeah it's really not that i miss being with him, more how my life is shaking out
but i guess it's all kind of in the same boat as you articulated and clearly understand

good morning
i went to the bar last night and met someone on grindr (lol)
he took me back to his hotel
he was cute but i hadn't like been out in a while so the making out at the bar part felt weird
but like whatever, we came, we saw, we conquered
what's up errebody?

they go to your place usually?

that's right, but i love hotels

The problem with inviting guys to your place is when to ask them to leave vs waiting for them to leae.

OMG I KNOW

like get out

my fb is pretty good about that, and i know i shdn't linger past 2-3 hrs

no i definitely don't
kinda like it when they ask me to spend the night tho
i may be too aggressive with the spooning

at least I can leave if I'm at his place.

I rarely spend the night.

i'm still trying to figure out that thing when someone shows up at your door and they are not what you expected
like usually i just go with it which feels unfair to my body
i just never have the heart to be like, i can't

I have kind of accepted it as a trade-off for having your meal delivered.

I don't do anon hookups very often but when I do, I enjoy smiling widely afterward and saying, cheerily "It was nice meeting you! That was very fun! Time for you to leave, now."

My last hookup was with a hammered longtime friend, so I felt guilty about subjecting him to my punishing before-dawn wakeup habits.

i thought at first u meant "subjecting him to your punishing" like you have a bdsm thing

if he'd seen me glaring at him while he snored past 7:30 a.m. you'd be right.

lol

this is the best ilx thread.

<3

Every part of his body fits perfectly into the corresponding part of my body and vice versa
The same for our personality traits
And the sex is making my head spin

amazing. so rare to find that!!! my fb down the street who i told you guys made me dinner a few weeks ago took me to the new Wegman's last weekend (lol) on one of those Revel motor bikes. it was my first ride on a motor bike! and i was holding onto him the whole time scared for my life
tonight he wants to take me to Spa Castle, where apparently the men get very free. this is a new thing for me, should i go???

omg. so i just agreed to go to one of those bathhouses tonight. i'm terrified. i'm not even a naked person. and supposedly people get it on in there!!!

can confirm, as someone who uh, may or may not have participated in that sort of thing before :x

ok but like, is it fun?? i'm freaking out. what if i look like an idiot!

i guess we can lock the gay TMI thread if surm follows through tomorrow

I've done that twice. The first time was highly personal. A really cute man took me by the hand and led me to a room and the sex was terrific. Reasonably good first introduction. The second time was highly anonymous. There was a pile of men just kind of fucking and sucking each other in a darkened space. I was doing a thing to a very enthusiastic bottom and I started to lose my erection; I couldn't help but think I was wasting my time, and wished I was at home playing my violin. I looked around and thought, somewhat spitefully, "don't these people have better things to do? I certainly do." So I left. And I went home and played my violin. Anon sex is not for me.

The good thing about those situations is that it feels like the structures of body capitalism are somewhat defanged. It feels as if age and race and physical fitness and dick size and bottom-roundness and height and so on are all kind of less important. There is an equalizing feeling to the environment that is appealing. But, like, mostly I just wanted to leave, and/or strike up a conversation with someone.

Other friends I have are super into it, even to a point of addiction. That said, I have been told myself that I am a lesbian in a gay man's body. This may be true.

this is terrifying

no, it's the best ilx thread.

:) apparently there's a bar there so i will need to drown my anxiety i think

Yerac, happy to have you here!

It was slightly terrifying to me, too. I was out for dinner the next night with a gay couple (who were squarer than I anticipated) and I joked that I'd picked up eight distinct STIs at the sex club the night before. "Can't wait to get home to get 'em all checked out!" They were not amused, and I was later told this comment soured the mood of the dinner party. Ennh. Whatever. I did feel somewhat "what if?" afterward but I came back 100% clean. I don't think I'll ever go into that environment again unless a partner desires for it. I myself would probably enjoy an audience in that scenario, but sex-with-anons has been tried and vetoed.

I did hook-up with a distant acquaintance about a month ago. He asked me afterward "so, do you have any STIs I should know about" and I said "I get cold sores" and he said "lol stop bragging" and I laughed, that's a disarmingly nice response.

Dan Savage makes me feel insane when I read his column. Why don't people like him again? I can't put my finger on what rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's his "DTMFA" response to any minor transgressive sexual misstep? or resolvable issue? Maybe it's the fact that he always sides with the promiscué over they-who-feel-insecure-about-their-partner's-sexual-proclivities? Maybe I'm not just a lesbian but a prude lesbian at that.

my one bathhouse experience was very fun, but it took some patience

There are probably numerous reasons to dislike Savage, but I just got weary of his combative tone all the time. I haven’t read him in years.

Did the bathhouse thing a few times each in Toronto and Detroit, each time with my boyfriend-at-the-time plus once with a friend. The Toronto one was more like fgti’s second experience—lots going on but I wasn’t comfortable with that sorta thing yet, and we mostly just walked around and observed. The Detroit one was far more low key and the few times we went we were able to actually strike up convos with people before/after doing anything, or in some cases just talk without anything happening at all. I remember talking to an attractive older man for a quite a while; I was into him but we never ended up doing anything because I didn’t think my bf would be into it (I never bothered to ask him later, because the moment had passed anyway).

um i LOVE bathhouses / sex clubs and i'm eagerly awaiting a precis from surm.

i had the slowest sex i've ever had at a bathhouse. like everything was slow-motion. it was with an older gentleman who had an ex-biker / willie nelson vibe. it was really hot!

Thanks luv enjoy!

I’m going to smoke up and have sex for hours with a perfect man and tell him I love him afterward and cuddle him all night with the messy results all around us and make him breakfast in the morning while listening to Debussy

Speaking of Franch composers I extremely practiced the Franck sonata today in the hopes that we might one day play it together

Dan Savage is a huge asshole and supported the Gulf War

if Morbs starts cancelling ppl for being huge assholes, we’re living in a world nobody can recognise

(he recanted his 2002 gulf war support later, but is dumb/blinkered on politics & (incidentally) extremely bad on labor generally)

It was slightly terrifying to me, too. I was out for dinner the next night with a gay couple (who were squarer than I anticipated) and I joked that I'd picked up eight distinct STIs at the sex club the night before. "Can't wait to get home to get 'em all checked out!" They were not amused, and I was later told this comment soured the mood of the dinner party. Ennh. Whatever. I did feel somewhat "what if?" afterward but I came back 100% clean. I don't think I'll ever go into that environment again unless a partner desires for it. I myself would probably enjoy an audience in that scenario, but sex-with-anons has been tried and vetoed.

I did hook-up with a distant acquaintance about a month ago. He asked me afterward "so, do you have any STIs I should know about" and I said "I get cold sores" and he said "lol stop bragging" and I laughed, that's a disarmingly nice response.

― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, November 20, 2019 10:27 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

um that is so stupid//i'm offended for you

wait so should i post the stuff about last night here or in tmi lol

Both!

I dont know much about Dan Savage but I do know that I despise "It Gets Better." I don't think it's at all inspiring to tell young people their situations will improve but only once they drastically change huge parts of their lives.

Either! xpost.

It doesn’t so much get better as much as one’s expectations get worse.

WELL. i had a real good time tbh. like the whole experience was very interesting to me. i was roaming around naked which tbh was hard for me but whatever. and my buddy had to really lead me around and show me the ropes. there was some showering, some soaking, some swimming with Hennessy margaritas. it was a nice place. then i wound up in the steam room with a bunch of guys and my friend and i found one really cute guy who was definitely packing. we ended up going at it for a while and he wound up with a mouthful from both of us standing over him in a cloud of steam. super fun to have an audience, i've always enjoyed that. so yes, would recommend.

o_O feel v exposed rn but i know this is a safe space!

yay!!

those saunas are HOT tho, my face felt like it was going to burn off
i liked the ice sauna!!!!

haha yeah it's like do i want more sex or do i really just want some water

never did saunas, just dank lofts or basements (with showers)

hot to cold immersion is good for your immune system and circulation while having other good times.

for sure, i love temperature therapy

I get hot reading this thread

tbh i get hot typing in it

so i've gotten into this new thing, and bear with me bc it's kind of embarrassing. i've become one of those people who gets into like a jo buddy situation. you know like i don't even need to do anything else. is that so stupid?

sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't

i think jacking off with someone is surprisingly intimate because you get to see someone do this thing that they spend so much time doing alone. so not stupid.

also: handjobs. they can be really good.

i love doing the cold plunge/sauna right after the really hot sauna, followed by just lying/sitting for a few minutes. feels so nice.

one of the k-town spas in LA is notoriously cruisy. the last time i went there the staff had to ask some of the guys to leave the steam room because it was too crowded lol

Well, the thing I said would happen did exactly happen. How often is this too much? It’s like three times a day and a part of me (the end part) is curious if there is a limit to my love

It certainly hasn’t stopped being fantastiche every time
Just trying to also stay healthy as well as happy

“Well fgti you can take it up the ass up to 17 times within a 24 hour stretch *cough* without any long-term concerns” thanks Coach

ive never been big on penetration

(go ahead, I can take your punchlines)

i think jacking off with someone is surprisingly intimate because you get to see someone do this thing that they spend so much time doing alone. so not stupid.

― cheese canopy (map), Friday, November 22, 2019

I like this post a lot

so i've gotten into this new thing, and bear with me bc it's kind of embarrassing. i've become one of those people who gets into like a jo buddy situation. you know like i don't even need to do anything else. is that so stupid?

― surm, Friday, November 22, 2019 1:08 PM

also like this post

hafta say my technique changes substantially when there's someone there

Few things are more enervating than a gay bar at which the patrons linger in the hopes of not having to hit on anyone as terrible music blasts

as they stare into their phones

hi y'all

YO

hi alfred :D

cloudzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm in that awkward phase where i've changed my grindr picture and i'm wondering how ppl will react
i gotta show a little leg in it though, i find those are more successful than pure face

I've become one of those people whose Grindr photo is now something like 3 years old.

omg so was mine!

i kind of look like Jesus in the new one but i think i'm ok with it

My Grindr photo is me staring at the camera with concern and my finger is in my nose. Very popular choice, I think it makes it clear that I'm "into nasal"

LOL

I was very high last night and said “I’m a bank teller and every day your dick comes into my branch and deposits $2k”

Lol
One time when i was younger and I dressed in my aunt's clothes
I creeped AOL and pretended I was a bank teller named Veronica
And entered a relationship with a 32-year old man who lived in Arizona
It was a formative time

That scans like a David Berman lyric

Arizona left me for a man who came from Tampa
He left behind his rescue and a box of cherry soda
The puppy was three-legged and he pissed all on the sofa
The soda cleaned the urine and left a sickly aroma
It was a formative time

Veronica retired and I became a girl named Betty
Betty was a brunette and she hooked out on the jetty
The sailors laid good pipe but they'd only tip a twenty
I saved up, bought a Dell and I started boarding heavy
It was a formative time

those are rly good

Ah this isn't gay or anything, maybe it is? It isn't. Last week I was in my group chat and the dude who writes the lyrics for the band Fucked Up said he was sitting at Whole Foods feeling uninspired in his writing and I offered the following.

People think they're getting their foods... WHOLE
Organic produce won't give you a... SOUL
Quit your job, tell your boss to eat your... POLE
This is a tasty cinnamon... ROLL

When I'm shopping at Whole... FOODS
This yuppie scum can get awful... RUDE
They try to X me out with their atti... TUDE
The muffins, gotta say, they are pretty... GOOD

The salad buffet is the fuckin'... JAM
But I'm not gonna give my money to the... MAN
Dinosaur kale and purple... YAMS
I hide 'em in my pants, my crucial... SCAM

Uh oh, here come the organic... PIGS
They saw me lifting cheese and imported... FIGS
I hit the ground running, when they zag, I... ZIG
Scored a fancy rider, on to the... GIG

Now I'm chowing down at the hardcore... SHOW
Fancy fucking lettuce and peas of... SNOW
Dip 'em in the hummus, that's how I... GO
Ben n Jerry's in the pit, flavour: cookie... DOUGH

Now Fucked Up dude and I have decided to write a kid's album called "Scams From The Grocery Store", like a beginner's guide to petty theft. Song titles include: "Free Food", "Every Day's Your Birthday", and "Toys R Yrs"

What If... Young Money invented rap?

Dinosaur kale and purple... YAMS
I hide 'em in my pants, my crucial... SCAM

This is my favorite part.

Lol I wondered where that format subliminally came from

i just watched Bodied and the raps were better there

so like, i had a threesome with this guy the other week and he was gorgeous
and then i had another threesome with him but like, i definitely couldn't perform bc i had the drogas in my system and i had already hooked up with someone else that night
and it was ... SO EMBARRASSING
and now i think HE BLOCKED ME ON GRINDR
i'm mortified. MORTIFIED. anything you can say to help me feel better would be great.
i mean... this was a level of depression so bad that i literally missed my flight back home for Thanksgiving and instead slept in my bed for two days. and now i haven't had sex in a week and i'm going to pull my hair out.

Oh surm
Being blocked on Grindr is NO THING, happens to everybody. When I was in my post-breakup sex spiral, I had this totally hot couple hitting me up for a third, and they were abt to give me their address, and I was stepping into the shower, and then they asked me for a body pic and I sent them one, got out of the shower and... BLOCKED.

It’s not a judgement on your sexiness it’s just an effective way of expressing no-interest. Just think of all the people you see on the app where it’s a “no” and feel the same camaraderie and respect for those people— just no desire.

Right, right. Ugh. The first time we threed he asked me to hold him after. Whatevs. I'm not going to let it break me. Ffs.

Just remember the good one! That sounds really nice!

love your posts surm and fgti

I read about grindr like I do about new Tarantino films

things I will never experience

How do you pull, Morbs?

Oh by the way, noted homosexual documentarian Matt Wolf has just announced his forthcoming masterpiece today, which I proudly did the score for, I'm so fucking excited this movie is amazing

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5qjTJTljSk/

i saw recorder! amazing and profound film

Right? he's the best

<3 Dan

i saw 4 boys this weekend i feel like i accomplished something

I have to tell u that I just got irrationally angry with a bad kisser
Like he kept pointing his little tongue in my mouth. I wanted to slap him silly
And his breath was not good
I had to pretend I couldn't keep it up just to get him out of my apartment.

what's on deck for the weekend everyone

a glogg party

is glogg eggnog?

nope

mulled wine

YUM

w/ extra ingredients

omg like what? acid?

HI!

probably not this batch, surm. jim beam.

ok i love both so
i loved those ads with Mila Kunis
like, i really started buying Jim Beam after that
so they worked!!!
https://www.ispot.tv/ad/7Bsg/jim-beam-make-history-featuring-mila-kunis

hmmmmmm i've gained 20 lbs

My queer acts for the day:

(1) listening to Tyler's IGOR
(2) looking at Shawn Mendes photos in bathing suits

he's really somethin' else isn't he?

well, yeah

https://img.srgcdn.com/e//RzY4QWVXMDhySzVZWlF2djlRaGkuanBn.jpg

who looks like that

Shawn Mendes.

I can subsist on one of his calves through 2045.

that's really fucked up
the rest of us are trying to just sustain a semblance of an arm muscle and there's that out there in the world

I’m not! I’m skinny af these days and ok with it

I read an article about how music stans are bad, and I wanted to ask how many music writers had actually been stalked and had their lives threatened

But instead decided to chime in here and say there’s nothing really wrong with a world where you can a. get fucked in the ass and b. watch Star Wars after getting fucked in the ass

p sure I have never heard any sounds made by Shawn Mendes or many other hairless twinks

ok here's the thing
i looked at myself in the mirror today and i was like
i'm glad i gained 20 lbs kind of cuz i look kind of hot
ALSO
i haven't wanted to fuck hairless twinks lately...

Twinks are good for nothing irl and only good for one thing on the porn-consumption front (hint: it rhymes with luge Bilbo inversion diddy-ohs)

i thought you guys were talking sean mendes the director haha. i was like "wait the older guy in the back-right?". those people look insufferable to me tbh.

in the "photos of people i'd like to do immediately" category:

https://beatsinspace.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/juanmaclean2019.jpg

That's SAM "1917" Mendes, mappy

i haven't gotten laid since Saturday

omg so i've been topping
did i tell you guys this

it's really very interesting

what is interesting about it??

It is! You can pretend you're God, watching your lover, as Bette Midler said, from a distance.

i don't know how ppl really want it i guess
you know i'm into the other stuff
i mean ppl get really into it, i do get off on the power trip thing i have tbh

I think there's a biological desire for men to feel like they're being "useful" and topping (and topping well) satisfies that desire

lol that's a very interesting point and it's v true

why i like to top is i'm very into my dick feeling good

i mean, me too
but tbh normally i find it v unpleasant

huh.. it's always been my favorite tbh. i always thought i was being selfish for wanting it the most. i was like super happy when i realized that's not really true specifically with my current bf.

i mean
the whole process just feels so tedious
like you need products
and then the mess factor
you know i can barely sleep at night when the kitchen counter hasn't been wiped down so
i guess i have that to grapple with

If you're on top, you get to grapple with lots of things!

haha. yeah it does require some ...

nuttering about
elbow grease
monkeywrenching

also helps to have a project belt and a work cloth

the 'usefulness' thing is extremely otm of course

and then there's the whole protection thing
like i'd rather just get a beej and call it a day really, no muss no fuss

the other night i topped a friend and afterward i realized he didn't even ask me if i'm on prep
and i am but i still get so nervous like, do ppl still use condoms

I don’t know why anyone would ever go into a situation where anal might happen without attending to some cleanliness stuff in advance. A guy I’m casually seeing told me his ex was ALWAYS messy, every time, and I’m like... how could that possibly be enjoyable for either party

Part of the enjoyment of bottoming is KNOWING you’re clean as a whistle, prod away my sweetie

gross

that's awful really

i just can't imagine

Is it bad form to bring up my big news in this thread too?

Well I don't care. I'm engaged and I am so very much in love!

Congrats!!

(not sure why it'd be bad form to bring this up here, unless we're purely a Shawn Mendes/anal detritus discussion thread now)

OMG

Congratulations Eric!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so, so happy for you <3

Eric, I'd marry you if it turned out you had no blood at all! Congratulations!

Glory, hallelujah!

ERIC!! Mazel tov!!

Congratulations Eric!!

As my father would say: “oh! A wedding! ..........a gay wedding!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgY1q0J_TQ

i am cautiously back in touch with my crush who just released a spaced-out sex funk EP and i'm foolishly wondering if any of the tracks are about me (not that i would ask)

Be very happy, Eric. Has he seen Eyes Wide Shut?

congrats!!!

xp Luckily for me he has not.

Congrats to Eric!
and good luck to everyone else touching ET's finger.

is that the new metaphor?

old? I remember it from one of the super early VICE guides to anal.

I love seeing "vice" and "anal" in the same sentence.

Byron couldn't have said it more graciously.

Same article said not to finger an ass without a condom on or else “you’ll get poo nail”

that's disgusting.

finally -- a word for a common conditino

bf and i are dead at touching et’s finger. he started singing an impromptu version of the neil diamond song “heartlight” with the alternate opening “turn on your dildo in the middle of a young boy’s dream”

i have no idea what anything in that sentence means

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0TfR9mgOiU

Guides to Anal are roughly as relevant as driving skills to me

i have a date tomorrow with a man who wants to show me Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown. i'm excited!

Surm on the Edge of an Anal Breakdown

omg

never say that again

many xps

congrats Eric! <3

congrats Eric!!

happy holidays!!!!!!!
what's everyone up to

about to lunch with an indecisive friend who returns home in a few hours.

Everyone should go home.

what's a good winter thread title

i have no home

Maybe it’s having a major piece of writing due at the end of January, but I am extremely ready for the holidays to be over. Due to some unforeseen parental health issues (everyone’s mostly fine now, we think) we ended up spending more than half of December back home, which disrupted my work/life routine in ways that I don’t feel I can get back to until I return to my bubble.

On a positive note, a friend did get me Golden Girls Trivial Pursuit for Xmas.

i have that
and i'm so sorry to hear about your family--i hope things will continue to get better
bonus round: What is Miles' daughter's name?

Caroline.

(thanks for the kind words as well, surm)

<3 very good
ok one more: what John Hughes film is the actress who played Caroline in?

Hmm. That one I actually don't know, although I always thought the actress looked familiar (wasn't she also Larry Sanders' first wife?).

i actually don't know, though she was once on The Larry Sanders Show!
the film Molly Hagan starred in is SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL
:)

I was wrong. Molly Hagen was not Larry Sanders' wife; Megan Gallagher was. Hagen did play "Ad executive" in an ep of Larry though, in addition to that Hughes (written, though not directed) film.

(what surm said)

i think she was good at playing a stuck up b

i kind of like a boi

tho i'm also in a place of my life where if it doesn't feel like he's into it, i'll cut him off so fast it'll make his head spin
i tell you, nothing brings clarity to your love life like the dissolution of an 18-year relationship

i just finished redecorating my apartment, it's beautiful! now i just want to get a bar cart . . . . . . . . . this is gonna be a full on bach pad imma tell you right now

WINTER

Tea With the Flames: A QUEER New Year to Keep You Warm in WINTER 2020