POST HERE EVERY TIME YOU INADVERTENTLY TOUCH YOUR FACE

Fuck.

ah fuck

I lost the game!

Goddamn, again.

This is how the world ends ppl.

fuck fuckity fuck fuck

Ah shit.

must invest in a face glove

dammit

oh god

Again!

#facepalm

fuck, again!

Tabarnak!

Must...not...ugh...

I absent mindedly stuck a fiver in my mouth when looking for change in a taxi yesterday, can anyone beat that?

does touching with your tongue count

I absent mindedly stuck a fiver in my mouth when looking for change in a taxi yesterday, can anyone beat that?

I got bored waiting for my Cipralex prescription so I started licking the pharmacy counter

lol

Yeah, I think I must touch my face constantly and have only become hyper-aware over the past couple of weeks that I am, in fact, Mitch from Dazed and Confused.

Touch her eyes
Press my stained face
I will never be clean again

I did manage to get from home to work on the dirty-ass train this morning without touching anything in the external world with my actual hands until I got to my office door. No mean feat.

And then I opened the door with my face. OOPS.

This is my five-year-old if i take him to the supermarket

Parents: panic buying tissues and soap.

Children:pic.twitter.com/Bvr7PHNhHY

— Matthew (@dlglsh) March 7, 2020

Wasn't until the corona that I realized just how often I absentmindedly cram my entire fist into my mouth and get it stuck there for days at a time

we all clearly need the cone of shame

oops

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42fzkIaHaW4

Scratched my nose at least three times in past two minutes before I realised :( second cone of shame

I regret to inform you that I have touched my face repeatedly since last opening this thread.

Not sure if I am not doing it more or if I just wasn't aware of it previously. My nose is very itchy and slightly runny, it is torture.

if u have a beard I find it's impossible to not pick at it in some way roughly 45 times an hour at minimum

I shaved my beard to help curb Covid-19's spread. Just doing my part, you know.

I'm gonna catch it, stay home, weather it out, THEN shave after it gets expelled from my innards and trapped in my face hairs. That's just science.

licking this post out on a touchscreen in the jacks tbh

do you have to be bearded to post on ilx or does it just help

Hi dere

do you have to be bearded to post on ilx or does it just help

On average I think I posted less when I had a beard, so…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CduA0TULnow

https://i.imgur.com/Nmd9mIY.gif

me irl

MUST. NOT. TOUCH. FACE. pic.twitter.com/KBm0Y5RVNK

— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) March 7, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyF8RHM1OCg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eI4P--OYmrA

dammit

https://previews.agefotostock.com/previewimage/medibigoff/d6fcc3da7afdb9ee698315dc07d566d2/esy-048609205.jpg

can't be held responsible

i was touching my face

we were merely freshmen

When you're rich you don't have to worry about this

I'm touching my face ADVERTENTLY right now

because I gotta touch face

🙊

REACH OUT
TOUCH FACE

Meat Loaf - 'Getting to Third Base (With My Face)'

pomenitul

REACH OUT
TOUCH FACE

Ha, yeah, I've been humming that too since seeing Siegbran's post in "Phrases that, when you see them, you inexplicably start singing them to the melody of something else" thread

Phrases that, when you see them, you inexplicably start singing them to the melody of something else (and then will forever be associated with that)

Hah, I swear I didn't plagiarize Siegbran (this time).

REACH OUT
TOUCH
https://i.giphy.com/media/F7wOACRm9z6ow/giphy.webp

Just pay someone else to do it for you #foryourhealth

*scratches chin*

thanks that felt good

Any time.

(checks)

(checks again)

You know what? Turns out I can feel my face.

I've grown accustomed to the trace
Of something in the air

Accustomed

To touching

My

Face

Sometimes you ain't got nobody and you want somebody to love
Then you don't want to walk and talk about Jesus
You just want to touch your face

Just pay someone else to do it for you

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose (unless you are handsomely paid for it).

o fuck a doodle do

https://youtu.be/NS3nRcwWktA

.

I've just touched a face
I can't forget the time and place
My eyes just met
My germy hands

I'm getting pretty good at becoming conscious of when my hands approach my face, but if there's an itch, I just think of how recently (or not) I washed my hands, switch from a fingertip to a knuckle and scratch it briefly anyway.

always good when coronavirus and itchy-eye allergy season hit at the same time.

The topic of this thread is basically

https://metrograph.com/uploads/films/creepshow-stephen-king-1504287802-726x388.jpg
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hQvPiRUJfhg/maxresdefault.jpg

Alack!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfk6sCzRTbM

When I think about germs I tpuch my face

I just concentrated intently on not touching my face. I touched my face.

I also touched my face while typing this.

don't think of an elephant

TILT!

Every face I touch
Is honestly too much

I wanna touch face all o-vah
And over again
I wanna touch face all o-vah
'Til the Covid kicks in

I don't want to inhale a trace
When I think about it, I touch my face

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to touch my face

I spend so much time
Believing all the lies
To keep the dream alive
Now it makes me sad
It makes me mad at truth
For thinking it was flu

(Essayant de ne pas toucher mon visage)
Trying not to touch my face
(Essayant de ne pas toucher mon visage)
Trying not to touch my face
(Essayant de ne pas toucher mon visage)
Trying not to touch my face
Got no human grace
Trying not to touch my face

You’re face
To face
With the man who touched the world

https://youtu.be/WrNqQNFMzKs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFq4E9XTueY

It would be incredibly helpful if this covid outbreak wasn't concomitant with the outbreak of whatever this disorder is that is making all of the nerve endings in my face fire pretty much constantly.

I have never been so aware of my face, or how much it longs for my sweet caress.

I don't want
To cough and sneeze all day
But when I think about face
I touch my face

Covid-19
No we can't dance together
No we can't touch at all
Please take me along when you slide on down

I have never been so aware of my face, or how much it longs for my sweet caress.

Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm Old Lunch's face
You relieve the itchy face

it is happening again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKrY9bnPClA

^Me rn.

https://www.inquirer.com/resizer/V7Aw_Pf_0iyt-eNZO1KF5eGSmzY=/1400x932/smart/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-pmn.s3.amazonaws.com/public/N6SAFRLYZ5BIRN5X2NCCCV7K4Y.jpg

I can't not touch my face but I also don't leave the house at all, so I think it kind of works out.

every time you touch your face
you take a piece of me with you

how is that a 'zone' that is like the whole dang thing, total face

Just a touch of your love is enough
To knock me off of my feet all week

I just freeze
When I see your hand creeping
towards your schnozz, cause it's true:
It's not the flu

In too deep,
I'm touching my face weeping
as I whisper to you,
"...It's not the flu"

I can see,
Can see the symptoms
take awhile to accrue
But it's not the flu

On my knees,
Help me baby
tell me when you last flew?
Cause it's not the flu

Hey.

Hey.

HEY. Yeah, you.

C'mon. You seriously gonna just sit there and pretend that I don't itch? That I don't itch in several different places? That the itch isn't nagging, isn't driving you slowly to distraction?

C'mon. Just one little scratch. What'll it hurt? The first one's free.

C'mon. You know you want to.

C'mon.

C'mooooooooooooon.

The skin of the face is that which stays most naked, most destitute. . . . [T]here is an essential poverty in the face; the proof of this is that one tries to mask this poverty by putting on poses, by taking on a countenance. The face is exposed, menaced. . .

Oh, how long can trusty Old Lunch hold out? How can he possibly resist the diabolical urge to touch the face that could erase his very existence? Will his tortured mind give in to its uncontrollable desires? Can he withstand the temptation to touch the face that, even now, beckons his hand closer? Will he succumb to the maddening urge to infect himself with the covid? At the mere touch of a single face! The beautiful, shiny face! The jolly, candy-like face! Will he hold out, folks? CAN he hold out?

https://metrograph.com/uploads/films/creepshow-stephen-king-1504287802-726x388.jpg

Holy ollllld ... Jayzus!

(Black-and-white star field fades to a white background)

(Rod Serling lights cigarette)

Behold Old Lunch. An ordinary ilxor in an extraordinary time.

He wants to touch his face, but yet he knows he should not, and cannot. But... can he?

We see a man faced with a painful choice. Touch the face he loves, or perish instantly in agony.

Because you see, his face isn't just a face. It's the onramp to a highway of destiny that is located in a burgeoning suburb of the greater metropolitan area known as... (Serling stubs out cigarette)

THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

(theme plays)

...

Well, it seems so real
I can see it
And it seems so real
I can feel it
And it seems so real
I can taste it
And it seems so real
I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?

^this

You’re face
To face
With the man who touched the world

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqW-eO3jTVU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWr_F4Gg8sY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWr_F4Gg8sY

Don't be
Shy shy
Touch touch
Face and eye

Aargh, hate when that happens.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vhFnTjia_I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1btg3mpEOc

When I'm with you baby
I touch the front of my head
And I just can't get enough
And I just can't get enough

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ESv-97oWkAUOlbF?format=jpg&name=small

NSFW warning, sheesh

Already started fingering my face, look what you've done

My eyes have been itchy during the last few weeks and it's driving me crazy. Feels like allergies but it's a weird time of the year for that (although I was in the south for the last two weekends).

Inadvertently touching my face with a can of ale.

My eye is really itchy

decided to be a team player today and shave my beard for the first time in 6-8 mos at least. feels nice for a bit but then I realize that it fully reveals MY HIDEOUS FACE sigh

better dead than smooth

truly.

I think i touched it before i met it
I think i dreamed my face into life

Am I allowed to touch my face at home, after I've washed off all of the grime from the outside world? Because I've just been going to town over the last couple hours. Hope that's not too TMI. It's very sensual. Sensuous? It's a luxurious experience, at any rate.

There's not much I know about you
Fear will always make you blind
But the answer is in clear view
It's amazing what you'll find TOUCHING FACE

Rubbed my eye in line at the grocery store last night.

🖐

🤚

👐

🤗

🙆‍♂️

🤦‍♂️

https://i.imgur.com/315svRQ.jpg

🧤

🥊

🦾

https://img.autoplus.fr/news/2017/10/23/1521494/62c2d820299ee9ac964ca4eb-1350-900.jpg?r

i just did a full, aggressive eye rub

i'm done for, boys

nice knowing you

RIP

The favorite, Coronavirus (real name Testus Terone), quits the race upon learning his co-driver cheated. Replaced by Julius Caesar, who almost wins but is immobilized by a pot-hole.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asterix_and_the_Chariot_Race

this thread has made me touch my face twice as much, I am holding everyone accountable.

I can’t stop

not going to post here every time or I would be itt every 0.2 seconds, but apparently my default reaction when I catch a fingernail on something and might have chipped it is to stick it in my mouth

bad, wrong

100% relatable post tbh.

I should probably go all in and touch ONLY my face then I can't catch anything from touching other surfaces.

my shirt was clean on this morning but the cuffs got wet on the way in (1st rained on, and then caught in vigorous handwashing) and now they smell of wet dog, so I guess at least that'll alert me every time I raise my hands near my face

(no, I'm not sure a clean shirt which caught a few drops of rain and got damp with clean tapwater should smell of wet dog either. thanks, laundry detergent; might need to reconsider the terms of our contract)

I should probably go all in and touch ONLY my face then I can't catch anything from touching other surfaces.

excellent approach, might work on this myself

do I have to stop typing entirely or type with my nose now?

Very much in the same position re: touching my face. Can't stop won't stop. It's more easy and helpful for me to not touch anything else.

You need one of these

http://totallyabsurd.com/handnearmouthalarm.htm

That looks pretty neat actually!

'Patently absurd' my ass.

Haha.

I'm distracting myself from touching me face by keeping my hands in my underpants

This thread has actually been a very helpful reminder to not touch my face. I'm getting good at using my facial muscles to scrunch various parts of my face that are in need of a scratch or a tweak or a rub. I'm sure I look completely psychotic to anyone who happens to notice me doing this, but at least I'm not touching my face, amirite.

That was the plan all along. Starting this thread has genuinely helped me fiddle with my face less.

My biggest worry now is that I'll break myself of the habit altogether and that, once this is all over, I'll forget to ever touch my face again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so-L12LFRR8

I can't touch my face when I'm with me
And I hate it
And I hate it

ah fuck my eyes itch

Staircase wit in action: I can't believe I quoted the coronized version of 'The Man Who Sold the World' without the two preceding lines. Here, then, is the erratum:

Oh no, not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the man who touched the world

I'll never take touching my face for granted again.

I keep having these moments of, oh noes my face feels weird, am I getting sick? and oh noes, my neck hurts, am I getting sick? And then I realize that, no, my face feels weird because I'm not manually attending to every tiny signal flare of my facial nerve endings and, no, my neck hurts because I'm not constantly cracking it when it starts getting stiff. So I guess I've done a decent job of retraining myself in a relatively short span of time. Soon hope to stop touching any part of my body with my hands ever again.

Like if there was ever a time to tap into those latent telekinetic abilities buried down deep inside our brains, now is that time, my friends.

I'm actually not having any trouble at all following this protocol, though I am a little confused as to the nuances. If you're at home and have thoroughly washed your hands, I assume it's okay?

Only if you use your feet.

.

facepalming during the trump address

Forgive me father, for I have pawed my face.

Fook

I haven’t shaved my beard in almost two months so not touching my face is an absolute nonstarter right now.

yeah I haven't shaved in one and god I hate mustaches but every time I go back to my old house I forget to get my razor.

my gravestone will say "husband, father, face toucher"

Lol, RIP

Saw this dude yesterday reach into a garbage can, fish out somebody's used mask, and put it right the fuck on his face. Not a homeless or particularly poor looking dude, mind you, just a dude outside the grocery store who realized they were serious about not letting people in without masks. Seeing this filled me with an indescribable kaleidoscope of emotions. Then I probably touched my face.

I, too, would have copiously touched my face after beholding such a scene.

Having not beheld it, I have just touched my face regardless.

First habanero harvest and Belizean hot sauce canning is a good time for object lessons.

;_;

I still think about trash can face mask dude sometimes.

Has his face fallen off? What other things has he put on his face? Is he just blissfully living a life untouched by pathogens of any sort, like Bruce Willis in that movie?

Trash can face mask dude. I just don't know. Everything is weird.

This is like the album you've passionately declared AOTY!1! back in March, but now you find the folder containing a bunch of sad-eyed, overlooked mp3s and you swiftly drag it in the trash, not even knowing what it sounds like anymore.

A sad state of affairs indeed, but at least touching face is no longer a death sentence these days.

Has that been ruled out? I mean I'm not nearly as conscious of it as I was back in April, but common sense seems we should all probably continue to refrain. I saw a new study last week suggesting the virus stays alive on some surfaces *longer* than recently assumed.

I feel like there's this continued tendency to want to simplify the contagion circumstances that has less to do w/ the science and more w/ the understandable desire to get a break from thinking about it all the time....

It hasn't been ruled out to my knowledge, no, but prolonged exposure to airborne particles appears to be the main culprit.

I still wipe down groceries just in case tho.

I'm not going that far but I genuinely admire your dedication.

I feel like there's this continued tendency to want to simplify the contagion circumstances that has less to do w/ the science and more w/ the understandable desire to get a break from thinking about it all the time....

This, of course, is otm and goes for a lot more than just the rona.

I've been touching my face extra to make up for the months I spent avoiding it

Sometimes you need somebody, if you have somebody to love
Sometimes you ain't got nobody and you want somebody to love
Then you don't want to walk and talk about Jesus
You just want to touch His face
You don't want to walk and talk about Jesus
You just want to touch His face
You just want to touch His face

xxp yeah I bailed on the grocery-wiping months ago but suspect those measures are all coming back over the winter as things intensify

We haven't wiped a grocery for a month or so. My wife thought I was being ridiculous the whole time. She was probably right.

Yeah I doubt it makes enough of a difference to be worth the hassle. It's just become a habit at this point.

I accidentally walked into the grocery store without a mask on last week. I made it halfway down one of the aisles before realizing, then bolted back to my car to retrieve it.

I’ve walked out of my apartment once or twice without my mask on and had that Wile E. Coyote responds to gravity feeling.

done

Over a year, dude that's amazing