In this thread, some friendly advice from Jack T Chick

ps dont trust the gays. they're infecting the blood supply with their filthy AIDS!!

I went to see Harry Potter yesterday and I haven't cast one spell yet, or looked up dark arts on the internet. What is wrong with me?

Seriously, read the testimonies from the converted. HUR I SAW DESE TINGS IN THE WAL MART I AM CONVERTED.
also, here he talks about getting the idea of using comics as his medium from chinese communist propaganda.

JESUS RULES!!

"Many people hate Chick tracts...until they get saved.
You used to turn my stomach, now I support you whole-heartedly. From bondage to freedom (Catholicism to Christ) is what I praise the Lord for."

From one religion to...the same religion. Catholics dislike the little baby Jesus intensely, or so I've heard.

"Chick tracts convict backsliders
I was shaken back into the fear of the Lord from my backslidden state by THIS WAS YOUR LIFE! that I found on my seat in a subway train."

I wish I could find some way to get out of this gosh-darn backslidden state, I really do. But wait! Maybe the FEAR OF THE LORD will do it for me...?

Is the Tube a good place to be converted? I get a bit ticked off by those Metropolitan Tabernacle posters - similar to Chick things but with rather less of an aesthetic policy about them.

did you not hear catholicism was made by the devil because they have the nerve to worship a woman?
read here and here, and consider yourself saved.

Also, my dad gave me a whole bunch of these Jack Chick things when I was about 10. The one that bothered me the most at the time was about Halloween being evil because I loved Halloween. When I asked my dad, he said that particular one was wrong - Halloween's ok - but the rest are right.

I like how the evil people in the strips look like goths. And in the first one, the evil kids are skateboarding.

God Hates America

1- None of the kids fucking said "Jesus Christ", you idiot. Stop harassing them.

2- Boy, that kid with the ranger hat and the ponytail must get beaten up in school alot.

3- "God the Son is really awesome"- aw3$0m3, d00d!

4- "Hey, are you putting down the gay lifestyle?"- yup, this kid gets beat up on a daily basis.

5- Kids do not say "no" when you ask them if they know what a virgin is. They just giggle alot.

6- This tract is officially reason #216545 why heterosexuality sux0rs.

god puts it down BIG TIME!

While the preachings and messages behind the Jack Chick comics are completely offensive to me, I think Chick is a great cartoonist. He has a style that's completely his own. All facial hyperboles, inconsistencies in the expressions, physical point of views in the panel, the dialog style... all very well done. (I'm saying this without irony.)

are you on drugs? he makes the funniest webcomics i've ever seen.

it smells of devils and death - and god hates it!

DB's point is actually right on -- Chick's style is definite and catchy, if certainly very easy to mock at the same time. Daniel Clowes has done a parody and there are plenty of others.

Chick was my first encounter with rapidly fundamentalist Christianity when I was very young, thanks to some tracts brought over by a babysitter when I was eight or nine. I was terribly upset by what I read in them, but thankfully my parents sorted it out very thoroughly. :-)

http://www.chick.com/images/whathappens.jpg

new tract is out!

in this one, Jack Chick channels Robert Louis Stevenson as Officer OJ Simpson and Dr Kleiner search for a little girl who's apparently been kidnapped as a reward to converting to christianity! also, a pic of rumply, gorey jesus!

Let a man with an eyepatch guide you to the "truth"

http://www.catholic.com/library/sr_chick_tracts_p2.asp

http://www.catholic.com/images/Image34.gifAnother of Chick’s attempts to link the Eucharist with paganism is found in his frequent depictions of the host imprinted with the letters IHS. He tells the reader that this stands for a trio of Egyptian gods (who were not a trinity, incidentally). Chick’s claim is nonsense. The letters aren’t English at all, but Greek. In fact, they are the first three letters of Jesus’ name in Greek: iota-eta-sigma (capital eta in Greek looks like the English H). This has been a common abbreviation for Jesus throughout Church history...

I guess they lean on the hellfire imagery so much because they think scare tactics work better than honesty, and it's easier to churn out that kind of stuff than to put any actual thought into their work.

im not sure they aren't being honest as far as their own loony theology is concerned.

This is making me want to write to them with all kinds of suggestions. I could be like a double agent, telling them the REAL ways to convert people! Then one day, they realize how silly some of their theology is, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Wacky good times:

http://jimmyakin.typepad.com/defensor_fidei/images/jackchick.jpg

My favourite Chick moment is where some arab claims that Islam has brought the United Kingdom to its knees. If it has, I really must not have been paying attention.

That's just the standard complaint of people like Mark Steyn. Their paranoia is depressing but amusing.

HARRY POTTER, oh noes!

i like

kinda long

I like how the essential conceit underpinning it is that MAGIC IS REAL

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/lixnixn/5018_04.gif

This has gotta be the coolest-looking kid ever! The shades, the ponytail, the hat, the skull and the peace sign!

haha wow

ranger hats are big with satanists these days I hear

uncle bob looks like john waters!!!!!!!!!!!!!

found via here

But it seems that when someone is campaigning against the book or the films, the leader of the campaign is invariably a fundamentalist Christian. For instance, fundamentalist Laura Mallory, of Lawrenceville, Georgia, tried to ban the Potter books from the public school library. She says the books have “evil themes” because they speak of witchcraft and spells. And the Bible clearly teaches such things are immoral. One child who opposed her efforts saw things more clearly. He said, “never at any time did I think the books are true.” But fundamentalists do think that there is truth in these books. Unlike most rational people, they do believe that witches and spells exist. They have no choice since the Bible condemns such things. To say they don’t exist questions the infallibility of Scripture. Most people are not offended by the theme of the Potter series because they don’t believe the “dark forces” actually exist...

+ the story of saul going to see the witch is one of the funniest things in the bible

Harry Potter: Witchcraft Repackaged

...Hosts Robert S.McGee, author of The Search For Significance, and Caryl Matrisciana, author and occult researcher, answer these questions and show Rowling's presentation of the following elements of Witchcraft: Mother Goddess, evolution, reincarnation, communing with the dead and spirit world, seasonal nature celebrations, sorcery, divination, spells, curses, meditation, occult symbology, black magic, demon possession, "dark" aspects of Witchcraft, and more.

Viewers will see how young readers today, more than any other time in history, have an abundance of occult resources easily available to them. They will also learn how to answer difficult questions and clearly explain the Harry Potter series to their children, grandchildren and concerned friends...

oh no, meditation! evolution!

http://www.atlanticbullionandcoin.com/images/HarryPotter.jpg

But I like how ever the discerning duo of Cox & Forkum laugh at these folks:

http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/WizardHunt-X.gif

I love this bit of classic Chick dialogue in the "Bad Bob" comic cited in the link with the photo of Jack Chick that Ned linked to above.

Middle-aged woman: Bad Bob is crude, rude, and socially unacceptable, but we just love him!
Middle aged woman #2: Bob's the best connection we've ever had. He can get us acid, smack, dust, coke, speed and black beauties. It's too bad he's such a sleaze.

why does that witch have no head?

haha "evolution" given as example of "witchcraft"

*gasp* they used the scientific method! BURN THE WITCHES!

The thing about the anti-Harry Potter hysteria that I think is especially misguided is that, the books are essentially benign fantasy novels, much as Tolkien's output was to earlier generations...I can't imagine being a kid and reading the books and then being inspired to pursue actual witchcraft. The fundamentalist Christian contingent's energies would presumably be better spent getting upset about those actual witchcraft-for-teens cutesy books that are marketed towards adolescent girls...or the simple fact that kids can look up all manner of occult stuff on the web.

I actually do believe that one can in some sense manipulate occult energies or draw up "dark" forces, but I can't imagine Harry Potter books or films ever being a "gateway" seducing kids into those sorts of practices. At most, it's a gateway towards dressing up as characters from the book during Halloween, or buying more Harry Potter merchandise, or...actually sitting down and reading a book instead of playing video games or watching television.

bad bob has always been one of my favorite chick tracts:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y123/Eisbaer29/0021_05.gif

corny indie fuXors love God!

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y123/Eisbaer29/0021_08.gif

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1033/1033_01.asp

Ah man, some of these recent ones are fuckin doozies - kids becoming serial killers because they found out Santa's not real and a judge being allowed to try a kid whose life he'd previously saved, despite having sent him a birthday card every year. This guy just keeps on GIVING.

holy crap, i was just about to look for a chick thread to revive to brag that i found the "trust me!" tract on the sidewalk this afternoon.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0025/0025_01.asp

http://www.chick.com/tractimages15888/1033/1033_14.gif

My favourite ever one was some Hitler Youth looking kid pointing at the typical smug-godbothering wise grandpa figure, scfreaming "I HATE YOU AND YOUR JESUS! I HOPE THE HEALERS KILL YOU!" with a look of genuinely unsettling hatred on his face. I unwisely tried to use it a poster image for a clubnight once but the promoter nixed it cos he was scared of getting bricked by fundies.

Slightly off topic, but this morning on God Hates America: Tammy in HELL!!

http://www.godhatesamerica.com/

When a priceless carpet is permanently stained, its owner learns that only Jesus' blood can remove the stain of sin.

This shit is parody-proof

Poe's Law: satire masquerading as fundamentalism is indistinguishable from the real thing.

IT'S AIDS!

WELL SHUT MAH MOUTH!

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y123/Eisbaer29/0021_08.gif

lol corny indie fuxor rainbow shirt

whoops - well it's the one upthread anyway

corny indie Xtian fuXor gets sonned by angry biker/meth-dealer in a prison beef ...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y123/Eisbaer29/0021_08.gif

... and thereafter starts harboring very un-Xtian, violent revenge fantasies:

http://pbfcomics.com/archive/PBF024AD-Nice_T_Shirt.jpg

u read my mind

It's sad how the kids always seem to get molested at the end of these biblical comics. O well.

Is someone else drawing the tracts these days? Theyre starting to look more like a Viz comic strip than anything!!!

And holy shit the logic behind that "there is no santa so kid became a psychokiller" one o_O

Ranger hat kid upthread looks like what would have happened when Linus Van Pelt finally grew up and became the hippie we all knew he was.

Also I refuse to believe anyone's led a stunted enough life they'd actively not know who jesus was.

Then again, I am protesting the logic of a Chick tract. Why am I doing this.

http://www.chick.com/tractimages15888/0041/0041_10.gif

LOL priorities.

http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/?action=view¤t=spoon.jpg

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/spoon.jpg

Back in the nineties there used to be lots of retouched Jack T. Chick comics available in the net; my favourite one was an edited version of the trucker tract, where the two greasy truckers are homophobes instead of Jesus-deniers, and the big muscular guy who comes to talk to them isn't a Christian but a gay man, who ends up converting them to the joys of sodomy. But most of these comics were removed at some point, because Jack Chick had threatened the various sites showing them with legal action.

Back in the nineties there used to be lots of retouched Jack T. Chick comics available in the net; my favourite one was an edited version of the trucker tract, where the two greasy truckers are homophobes instead of Jesus-deniers, and the big muscular guy who comes to talk to them isn't a Christian but a gay man, who ends up converting them to the joys of sodomy. But most of these comics were removed at some point, because Jack Chick had threatened the various sites showing them with legal action.

it's still here, tuomas

Yeah, but those seem to be redrawn versions of the original strips instead of retouched ones (most likely done so to avoid the aforementioned legal action), and there were a lot more of them available back then.

Ooh thats odd, some of thedirect links are now not working and they were earlier today. Access log mayhem!

It was only a matter of time until someone made a live action movie based on the tracts
http://www.316now.com/heaven.html

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp

Lovely attention to detail on this one. You can see every single line in the angry guy's face! beware the moon god! and non-towelheaded-but-mustachio'd butch men bearing tautologies!

<i>Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour?

[ ]Yes [ ] No _______Date</i>

If you want your personal theology and religon reduced to the level of 8-year-olds passing notes in class, feel free to check the appropriate box.

Oh yeah, and England is being brought to its knees, apparently.

damn bbcode

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08192008

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D08192008

THE TRUTH ABOUT WHEN HIPPOS PEE

Hey computer man!

What's the one where some guy is lead to sin by his best mate, they wake up in hell, then his mate pulls off his face and he was actually THE FUCKING DEVIL ALL ALONG. That's my favourite, it's called GOTCHA! or TRICKED YOU! or something.

Shrek: Outhouse

http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Third_Party_Photo/2004/12/11/1102786120_7673.jpg

Shrek comes out of the outhouse.
He looks at the valley.
Shrek is happy, proud and content.

http://www.myconfinedspace.com/?attachment_id=83672

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa1.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa2.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa3.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa4.jpg

I came.

"Good news, honey. Your daddy and I will never hurt you again. You're about to be put in a foster placement and he's looking at some jail time for raping you anyway."

"You got a job?" is an awesome pre-emptive shootdown of the I found God revelation though.

is it me or is it kinda weird that Chick just skips the actual praying both times in that strip. Like, I wonder what magic happens in those "10 minutes"

This one's a doozy:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP

Legendary, that one.

Wait is the dude still alive?

88 apparently.

thing i like about that one is that debbie learns the secret real spells beneath d&d as a reward for reaching level 8, which is like if the church of scientology told you about xenu and the volcanoes after you gave them $20.75

Satanists are an undiscriminating bunch compared to Scientologists.

"Dark Dungeons" is getting its own film adaptation, played straight.

http://darkdungeonsthemovie.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk2Pr9jXCr8

How people have committed suicide due to RPGs?

The American Association of Suicidology has concluded that RPGs don’t play a role in suicide, and the Association of Gifted-Creative Children of California did a survey of all psychological autopsies of adolescent suicides and could not find a single one that was linked to RPGs. However, that DOES NOT mean that it doesn’t happen. For all we know, BIG-GAMING may just be very good at covering them up.

What evidence is there that RPG’s use real world spells?

William Schnoebelen has publically stated that, as a witch high priest (Alexandrian tradition) during the period 1973-84, he was approached by a roleplaying company to make sure their spells were accurate; http://www.chick.com/articles/dnd.asp

In addition he warns us the “the Necronomicon and the Cthulhu mythos are quite real” which is why those dangers are exposed in Dark Dungeons the movie

http://www.chick.com/articles/frpg.asp

I call your use of the words "played straight" into question.

Finally, something to fit that double bill with Mazes & Monsters!

Well they weren't winking directly into the camera lens, is what I'm saying.

Plus I enjoyed the shot of D20s splashing thru cheap movie blood syrup

"In addition he warns us the “the Necronomicon and the Cthulhu mythos are quite real”

God I hope so

This was his life!

https://twitter.com/ChickPub/status/790604219376033792

somebody goofed :(

"Open the book of life!"
"His name does not appear Lord"

So mentioning it on a public twitter account brings out the batshit rightwingers.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2016/10/24/haw-haw-haw/

...Chick’s cartoons were infused with the abominable fancy — the idea that the supreme delight awaiting true believers in Heaven would be that they got to watch the eternal torment of wicked sinners in Hell. That was pretty much the essence of Chick’s faith. Nowhere in his ubiquitous cartoon pamphlets would you find any hint of love for God, love for Jesus, or love for neighbor. That wasn’t what animated him. He was driven, instead, by the eschatological hope that one day God would settle all the arguments he was never able to win here on earth — settle them with remorseless, bloodthirsty finality.

[...]

That stunted, hostile form of religion was expressed not just in Chick’s tracts, but in the way those tracts were employed as a kind of passive-aggressive “evangelism.” This was never primarily an attempt to “seek and to save the lost,” but rather a way of fulfilling some perceived minimal obligation that would exculpate believers from any responsibility for the longed-for damnation of others. These tracts, in other words, don’t seem to be distributed in the hope that others will read them and “get saved,” but with the idea that they will make it impossible for the doomed and damned to claim they were never told. They weren’t an attempt to nudge others toward Heaven, but to amplify the case that they deserved Hell.

When someone gives you a Jack Chick tract, it’s not because they don’t want you to go to Hell, it’s because they don’t want you to be able to blame them for not warning you before you do. They’re just hoping to dispel any potential guilt that might one day detract from their full enjoyment of the abominable fancy. They want to look down from Heaven and watch your eternal torment in Hell unbothered by any lingering regret.

good riddance to human garbage. and human garbage who sucked at drawing!

A collection of mock Tracts: some worthwhile, others are weird.

http://foo.ca/wp/chick-tract-satire/

Does anybody know where I would find the spoof one, I think repurposed from the real D&D one, where the girl screams "I'll destroy anyone who opposes the furious countercultural assault of noise music"?