By Hera! Come anticipate WONDER WOMAN 1984 with me!

New thread, new trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW2E2Fnh52w

I ... kinda don't like Chris Pine being back? The action sequences look meh? Swinging from lightning bolt to lightning bolt was cool, though.

I know I always say these things look like shit but this really looks exceptionally like shit

Looks like it missed its release date by 36 years.

Swinging from lightning bolt to lightning bolt was cool, though.

Is... she trying to force the lightning bolts to tell the truth?

I know I always say these things look like shit but this really looks exceptionally like shit

C'mon there were three shots (plus a reverse) in that trailer which weren't on CGI backgrounds, those looked okay

I was pumped for this when they used Blue Monday in the first trailer. I think it shaped my experience more heavily than I realized. Without it, and WITH revealed Cheetah cgi, I'm only mildly enthused.

is this about Wonder Woman killing Reagan

The action sequences look meh?

how do you even judge this from a trailer

lol at supervillain kristen wiig though

it's ILX, movies are regularly relegated to the "detritus" bin within mere moments of conception

oh i'm not caping for it, i haven't watched any of these movies since gritty superman, i just have no idea how one judges a film's action sequences to be meh based on like 25 total seconds of footage

The first movie was fun for the first hour or so, then gloomy Snyder-level CGI garbage for the last third. This trailer suggests a similar arc, but hopefully not.

brb, creating a new I Love Being Dour About Movies board

Just saying I would totally be there for a Wonder Tot movie at this point.

Wait, how are they going to explain Pine is still in it/alive/not a jillion years old.

it would certainly be unprecedented for a superhero movie audience to accept that a military bloke could get placed in stasis and revived decades later

(or that someone would time travel or come back from the dead)

Here's me not thinking in comic book form, tch.

hey, I said "movie" right in my post

http://deadshirt.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/tumblr_n22vy29H921saxoooo1_400.gif

https://media2.giphy.com/media/xTgeIK6SqDqixLErXW/giphy.gif

https://i1.wp.com/www.lippsisters.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/blofelds.jpg

https://dreamtravelblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/encino-man.jpg

So...

https://io9.gizmodo.com/wonder-woman-1984-coming-to-hbo-max-and-theaters-dece-1845710702

(I have to wonder if this is what's going to finally cause the HBO Max/Roku cold war to get resolved, especially since the one with Amazon was finally settled.)

I hope so!

https://deadline.com/2020/11/roku-cf-steve-louden-no-update-hbo-max-streaming-deals-1234617285/

Dumb to day-and-date with the subscription service (except that / also dumb that thousands and thousands of creative-side jobs have been cut at dozens of AT&T-owned companies unrelated to streaming, in response to the failure of the subscription service), dumb to not make it a digital rental instead of a subscription if you're day-and-dating, dumb to make the call right when it's becoming apparent that cinemas are likely to be closed in most American states and many European countries on that date, even dumber if they don't do a cinema re-release if cinemas still exist in vaccine times.

Looking forward to watching it

I liked the first movie a lot — except when they traveled thousands of miles overnight in a boat, and Steve Mnuchin’s name in the credits.

as a hbomax subscriber i selfishly salute this decision

who wins? ME :D

lol

I am become @OlanRogers apparently pic.twitter.com/2wVXvrWlMt

— ben mekler (@benmekler) December 6, 2020

https://www.cbr.com/gal-gadot-patty-jenkins-10-million-praise-hbo-max-deal/

"Wonder Woman 1984 isn’t just bad for a superhero film, it’s an outright travesty. my latest review for Vulture"

https://www.vulture.com/article/wonder-woman-1984-review-an-empty-spectacle.html

"i haven’t been this disappointed in a film in a while. Wonder Woman 1984 made me depressed about Hollywood film and it’s future. don’t audiences deserve better? superhero films and the corporations that spawn them have trained audiences to believe that plot matters above all else. dear god."

So, uh, anyone wondered yet? (We're getting around to it here if not necessarily today.)

We haven't seen it yet, family not that interested. Honestly, the first one was considered something of an anomaly, wasn't it? A DC movie that wasn't grim and/or totally shitty? Hence that excerpted Vulture line seems a little disingenuous, because the vast majority of the Marvel movies *have* been really solid and entertaining, with one or two dips, basically the opposite of the DC movies. So if you begin with the apparent desire for superhero movies at all and then ask "don't audiences deserve better" the answer is "yes," and those movies exist. But if the question is more specifically "don't audiences deserve a better Wonder Woman sequel?" the answer is "no, why should they?"

"superhero films and the corporations that spawn them have trained audiences to believe that plot matters above all else. dear god."

― huge rant (sic), Wednesday, December 16, 2020 1:15 AM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

nerds deserve some blame here

batman v superman is imo the best dc movie though so i cannot map my perspective onto the critic's

But Brad, rock history

Here’s is a screen shot of the new Wonder Woman movie, which is set in 1984. I hope someone got fired for this. pic.twitter.com/5lKJNg0sPh

— The Ⓐtomic Ⓔlbow (@atomic_elbow) December 25, 2020

I have HBO Max so will be watchin it later

I hope someone got fired for this.

May the person who wrote this become a better person in the future. They have some catching up to do.

Did those albums come out later or something?

(Whoever here watches this first, pls. let me know how “kid-friendly” it is... thx)

Age of Quarrel was 1986

Someone definitely needs to be fired from the set of this movie that wrapped long ago! (If there’s a Repo Man reference, all will be forgiven)

yeah, it's a shocking mistake from an industry that up until now, had never seen an anachronism

Not the most egregious DC punk timeline error in the film.

Does Good Charlotte show up as the villains

Still watching, maybe if the climactic battle takes place in Waldorf.

At least they didn’t depict the One Last Wish 1986 album

let's get outraged at a random tweeter for making a joke by pretending to be outraged

batman v superman is imo the best dc movie though

here is a complete ranking of all the good DC movies:

1) Batman Returns
2) Teen Titans Go! To The Movies
3) The Lego Batman Movie
4) Batman (1966)
5) Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm (probably)

it's possible that A History Of Violence is okay too

Teen Titans Go to the Movies was amazing

I think we’re joining in the fun, sic

Suicide Squad had an hour’s worth of good bits, more than the other modern DCs or Nolan movies.

making a joke by pretending to be outraged

more like manufacturing an excuse to show the world how perceptive and knowledgeable they are about stuff so trivial it lives in a basement bedroom of trivia's parents' house.

sic you know i meant dc cinematic universe not any dc movie ever

who bumped the batman returns thread today????? bitch it was me

I didn't, but I also don't know what is and isn't part of that

so trivial

if only the reliable Steven Mnuchin had stayed on board for this sequel to his masterwork, nobody would have been able to undermine it with trivia

_making a joke by pretending to be outraged_

more like manufacturing an excuse to show the world how perceptive and knowledgeable they are about stuff so trivial it lives in a basement bedroom of trivia's parents' house.

This is worse than when Elton abandons Cher at Circus Liquor and then drives north, for some reason

lmao

i have to give DC/Warners credit for continuing to find new ways to fuck it up

We saw it this week - the first one wasn't fantastic but with so few movies in the theaters we'll basically see anything. Started off slow but picked up about a third of the way in. The story was more imaginative and touching than I was expecting, and I liked Kristin Wiig's and Pedro Pascal's characters. Still left with the sense that it should have been shorter and funnier, and probably stronger if it had been in Marvel's hands. The few fight scenes were terrible, people jumping around for no reason and very tough to follow visually

might watch this cause bored but also cause it seems like it might be at least an iron man 2 level clusterfuck

just got out of Wonder Woman: 1984 and it's a triumph! I laughed, I cried - a masterpiece only slightly marred by the cinema's utterly flavourless coca cola and "salted" popcorn. Not sure if they've lost their magic touch during these trying times, but I couldn't taste a thing.

— TOM (@tomwalkerisgood) December 26, 2020

oof

this was ok. Wiig was completely wasted. due to competing with screen time with Pascal (Max Lord), she disappeared for long periods of time, her character arc was ridiculously rushed and broad-stroked. even her transformation is over in a matter of moments. which frankly sucks, cos I like Wiig!

the movie kept name dropping Monkey's Paw, which was the obvious reference. but it really felt more like a fucked up horror version of Aladdin instead, as told from the POV of the genie

this opening sequence is...extensive

How was Pascal?

I was playing on my phone during all of it and still knew what was going on and didn't feel like I missed much.

felt like it had Spiderman 3 syndrome - multiple baddies in one story works fine in the comics, not as well in a 2 hour movie.

xpost I liked him! pulled off a slimy con man fairly well.

(i wasn't on my phone the whole movie, just the opening)

I really like popcorn movies and I loved the first Wonder Woman movie.

This was really dumb, in all the bad ways

Taking a break from Wonder Woman to say that this movie is so dull and dumb. Even my wife and kid have been complaining. Daughter: "I thought this was supposed to be an action movie, not a rom-com." Wife: "When is Wonder Woman going to do some world saving?" Me: "Wait, this movie is seriously driven by a magic wish-granting artifact?"

Jinx!

I got embarrassed and stopped it

Like, it starts okay and Wiig is actually very good at portraying Barbara’s growing addiction to power and then after two hours of buildup the movie decides that what the viewer really needs is 45 straight minutes of the movie shitting directly in your face

Gal Gadot is not especially interesting at any point in this Also this movie has the weirdest denouement where *** just walks the heck away, after *** and everybody is cool with it?

Also, what a horrendous Reagan. I was really hoping he’d stand up and be wearing the sweatpants.

And also also Kristin Wiig is upstaged by Michelle Pfeiffer’s performance from thirty years ago.

It did not occur to me to compare Wiig to Pfieffer as they are playing different characters in tonally-different realizations of the DC universe

One of the many things about this I don’t understand is why you’d at least attempt to include Washington DC period detail like Bad Brains and Commander Salamander but then have a distracting, pseudo-Ronald Reagan.

OMG – I was gonna jokingly ask (during that earlier riff) whether Commander Salamander showed up!

As a child of the 80s from the DC area, I think I’m gonna have to check this out just for those reasons.

Lots of DC deep cuts. And also a buncha bullshit.

But holy shit, when she lassos the rocket and hitches a ride? That was like Quest for Peace stupid. This movie is pretty much straight garbage.

Maybe I’m wrong, but It’s not so dumb:

Act I:

https://filmschoolrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/MV5BMjhhMmQ3M2UtOGU3ZC00MWFkLWE0ZTMtYzg3ZjUyM2NlYzhhXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjQ4ODE4MzQ@._V1_-750x416.jpg

https://img.cinemablend.com/quill/6/b/d/e/f/4/6bdef40c479423235e869de5ce51e3458f8fd99a.png

Act II:

https://medias.spotern.com/spots/w1280/262/262599-1575908352.jpg

https://www.writeups.org/wp-content/uploads/Catwoman-Pfeiffer-Batman-1992-movie-i.jpg

Act III:

https://64.media.tumblr.com/b8c29ece936cb1fb59cfabe9c0fc3b97/tumblr_inline_oguyrp5EPF1qdawwj_540.png

(WW84 scene w/ catlady and electricity)

I'll say this much, it was kinda fun to listen to my wife and daughter (other daughter made the right choice and skipped it) make fun of this, but joke was ultimately on us, because, this movie is two and a half hours long!!!!!!!

at some point, the stakes kinda don't feel real high when all it takes to undo to escalating events on screen is a dude saying "I RENOUNCE MY WISH". this might as well have been the show Wish Kid (featuring MacCauley Culkin)

so is this set in 1984? or does that mean something else?

also, why?

This was...well, it was. I actually liked a lot of the quieter parts -- the flying moments were at points almost visual tone poem stuff. Kinda glad I did just see it at home, though, breaks were needed for sure. Also great use of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Welcome to the Pleasuredome" though I'd love to know what crazy DJ was spinning that at THAT party.

The credits scene was pretty fun -- I remember wondering (re the character played in her earlier cameo) "I wonder why the one closeup on her eyes" and all was clear at the end.

Watched the first 15-20. I hate when modern "blockbuster" movies switch from mostly-real-people to animated for action sequences anyway, but the physics in this were Neil Breen-level distracting.

Also, gonna assume it was Geoff Johns' idea to have a secret black market for stolen historical artifacts located in a mall, several stories up, with no back door let alone rear street access. Motherfuckers smuggling sarcophagus-sized shit in under their coats, and out in shopping bags.

'visual tone poem' ??

Joy of flight stuff, I'm fine with it when done right. Sure I was worrying she was about to turn to him and go "Can you read my mind?" but anyway.

Remember when the Wachowskis made THE MATRIX and they sought out the best fight choreographer in the world at that time? What a concept. Crazy.

— Walter Chaw 周瑜 (@mangiotto) December 25, 2020

When she started flying my wife and daughter started cracking up. Maybe that's why all of us were so confused when she landed in full golden armor. My daughter suggested she flew home first to get it before her big fight. Sure, why not.

This was terrible and looked like shit, too.

I can only the imagine the direction given to the Mandalorian.

"No, go bigger! Bigger!!!!!"

I loved his wildly over-the-top performance!

The story was more imaginative and touching than I was expecting, and I liked Kristin Wiig's and Pedro Pascal's characters.

some of these reactions to that entirely not serious Cro-Mags tweet are nuts, I tell ya

I could see why they felt it was imperative this movie come out in 2020 because its villain is a Trump stand-in. Making the plot all about the danger of magic wishes is such a strange choice until you remember it was supposed to come out pre-election, and they were instructing the audience not to believe Trump’s lies and wild promises.

There was a Steven Soderbergh interview this month where he defended releasing these big tentpole movies on demand because they’re zeitgeist-y and have a limited shelf life. This movie is exhibit A for that reasoning.

Also the Trump figure gets to just walk away at the end and we never see him face legal consequences, which is a little preview of real life.

its villain is a Trump stand-in

completely insane to do this when, again, the producer of the first movie is the only one of the six appointees to remain in Trump's cabinet the entire term who worked directly with Trump, mouthpieced for him regularly, appeared frequently at photo ops, etc.

I can only the imagine the direction given to the Mandalorian.

had to DDG to see who that was.

There's no reason they couldn't have Irishmanned Sam Neill back to 1984 levels, so much of the rest of the picture is CGI.

so is this set in 1984? or does that mean something else?

1984 is the runtime.

Seriously, though, this really could have been set in just about any year. Maybe 1984 is before any of those other DC superheroes enter the scene? Speaking of which:

Why is a near-invincible demi-god wasting her time rescuing cats from trees and basically doing Spider-man week-one stuff? There's bad shit in the world in 1984, she could be putting her powers to good use.

For that matter, why does a striking, instantly recognizable person even need bother with an alter-ego? Kind of occurred to me that the Marvel heroes, more or less, all of them either never bothered with or immediately dispensed with the alter-ego bullshit. What does Wonder Woman get out of it?

So they find old planes at a secret Smithsonian spinoff site, one that just happened to be in good working order and fueled up? With a working, manned runway? And Steve's exclamation of "invisible jet!" ... he's never flown a jet, he doesn't even know the word. He died in like 1916.

Why did Kristen Wiig turn into a cat person?

Max Martin, did he have an end game with the wishes? Even before the ridiculously even by blockbuster standards "the particles are touching people!" bullshit, why grant random wishes to strangers? Like the guy that gets ... cows? For that matter, even my daughter wondered what happens if people make conflicting wishes. Like, what if someone had wished for, say, world peace, a pretty common wish? What if some asshole just wished everyone was dead? Why did he keep bleeding from his orifices? The Trump stuff was both obvious and toothless. While I suppose making Ned Beatty's Otis your antagonist could have had its pleasures, Pedro's semi-Trump was in the end just an old softy clown from a kids cartoon when he could have been a thoroughly corrupted ultimate evil with grand schemes bigger than "give me your oil!"

Major missed opportunity to make the magic tiki idol that actual original literal Monkey's Paw. Either way, that cursed tiki idol is easily the stupidest superhero plot since the later Christopher Reeve Superman sequels. When the missiles are launching and love conquers all in the corniest way possible, the got even more flashbacks to Quest for Peace.

Was totally surprised the trouble-making evil god Wonder Woman keeps alluding to never makes an appearance. Certainly I figured that was what was happening during that impenetrable magic wind storm in that secret hidden base (that had my wife making Austin Powers jokes).

And yeah, where did the armor come from? What good did it do her? Why can she suddenly fly? When she started flying I immediately thought of the Go Go's "Vacation: video:

https://media.tenor.com/images/f44fe83fc6a18c2b1b3554ed5b1741e4/tenor.gif

flashbacks to quest for peace? jeez am i going to like this movie

Be warned, it's a full hour longer than that one.

I didn’t like this movie but at least half of the questions you’re asking were answered within the confines of it

Really? I miss things all the time but I'm impressed I missed that many. Then again, I kept leaving the room, so I suppose it's possible I did so every time an explanation was given.

Let's just start with why Wiig turned into a cat person. I know she wanted more power or whatever, but ... why a cat? Did she have an affinity for cats? What did being a cat give her beyond the powers she had already? She was Cheetah and iirc she wasn't even particularly fast!

She said the line "I want to be an apex predator." Earlier in the movie she admired some item in an animal print. Boom, she's Cheetah.

This was so, so bad.

i was pretty stunned by how incompetent this was

I didn't hate it as much as y'all but I sure as hell wasn't entertained either. good movie to fuck to

mmmm, those pounding Hans Zimmer rhythms

I did catch the apex predator line, but I just didn't know why a cheetah, which is a really specific apex predator known for running fast. But, like, the cursed tiki idol power should have turned her into an orca or something. That would have been funny. But yeah, what does she gain that she didn't have before? Fur and a tail?

How was he just able to grant her another wish, anyway? With no touching and no apparent repercussions? I mean, this whole thing was so dumb and senseless and dull and stupid and janky I guess there is no point even asking.

He said the line "I'm feeling generous."

Since george orwell is out of copyright now, could totally set a superhero film in "1984".

"good movie to fuck to"

better to just put a picture of Gal Godot on your headboard

There are about 40 minutes of entertaining stuff in this film, and they are all Kristin Wiig. When she's not onscreen it's a slog, or dire, or worse. also the representations of middle easterners in this are ... let's just say this seemed like it was from 1984.

They could have made some more interesting political points with the US villain stepping in to 'take all the oil' from a country he's destabilized but it was pretty weak. Also I don't think that President was actually supposed to be Reagan, was he?

Also I don't think that President was actually supposed to be Reagan, was he?

In the credits, he's "POTUS." But there's a jar of jelly beans in the Oval Office (visible at 1:45:58).

Dude literally said “I take something for myself in return when I grant people’s wishes” right before saying “I’m feeling generous” to Barbara and then granting everyone’s wishes and so he turned over some of his “take something in return” bounty over to her so she could turn herself into a crazed half-cat woman and yes, the willy-nilly conflicting wishapalooza caused a bunch of turmoil and chaos including the advent of an impending thermonuclear war (btw, lifeless rubble across the globe after warheads melt everything could fit the definition of “world peace” so the warheads aren’t directly incompatible with that)

Also, the character Barbara Minerva in the comic books is a villain named Cheetah who got her powers from an amulet imbued with the essence of a malevolent cheetah goddess IIRC so her transformation was going to happen in some form or fashion

same basic concept underneath - she makes a sort of deal with the devil for power and ends up cursed

though i like the added sexual tension between her and Diana in this film

I just didn't know why a cat woman (other than because comic book). Since she already had super powers and afaict gained nothing but fur and a tail.

You know what this movie was really missing? A youthified digital Mr. T.

she goes from being one sort of cat lady to another
(half-joking here)

Wonder Woman 1982:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/99/Cat_People_1982_movie.jpg

pretty much. as well as the Selina Kyle/Batman Returns comparison talked about earlier in the thread

also: women have to fight other women, femininity, apex predator, yada yada yada

People don’t like Wonder Woman 1984 because they haven’t seen a superhero movie in ten months and forgot they’re all like that.

— Brandon Bird (@Brandon_Bird) December 26, 2020

some of these reactions to that entirely not serious Cro-Mags tweet are nuts, I tell ya

I still say the reactions in this thread (at least mine) were keeping in the spirit - I wasn’t mad at the tweet, lol. Maybe you’re referring to responses on Twitter, though (I didn’t actually click thru)

That said I do think there’s a thing where when someone posts a tweet in a thread here, my immediate response is to go “yeah, but...” – not sure why. Maybe b/c it sort of sits there with a veil of inflated authority, intruding from beyond the realm of ILX discourse, demanding a counterpoint.

That NYMag pan is such a waste of a good panning opportunity

ok now I'm stoned and trying again, my new problem is that my roommate is home and this feels even more aggressively For Kids than most superhero movies I've seen

The defenses of WW84 that claim it's not appreciably worse than most superhero movies (people just haven't seen one in a while, aren't used to watching them on TV, etc.) don't carry much weight with me because I avoid most superhero movies. But I did see the first Wonder Woman and found it charming, while this one felt overstuffed and nonsensical. (I mean, I don't doubt that it's a typical superhero movie; that's why I don't watch superhero movies!)

ok now I'm stoned and trying again, my new problem is that my roommate is home and this feels even more aggressively For Kids than most superhero movies I've seen

The defenses of WW84 that claim it's not appreciably worse than most superhero movies invalidate themselves by conflating DCEU, Fox X-Men, MCU, and Tim Burton Bat-verse.

Marvel’s success suggests hmm it is maybe possible to make a superhero movie that many people like. DC just stubbornly refuses to follow the template bc they want a unique identity distinct from Marvel.

Unfortunately, having now tacked away from “dark, gritty, and risibly bad” they have no idea what that identity would be and seen to have doubled down on “risibly bad.”

Kind of occurred to me that the Marvel heroes, more or less, all of them either never bothered with or immediately dispensed with the alter-ego bullshit. What does Wonder Woman get out of it?

idk if this is referring to the Marvel movies, but it's definitely not true of the 1940s Timely or 1960s Marvel characters

Wonder Woman's entire raison d'rumspringa is to learn about Man's World, which she can do better as part of it instead of as a demigod

Yeah, Marvel movies, they don't have alter egos, afaict.

I've never read the comic books, but in this movie Wonder Woman has been living in man's world for over almost 80 years years. I'm not sure what what more she can gain by playing Undercover Boss. If she doesn't have a good idea of what man is like at this point she's clearly doing it wrong (and to be fair, having apparently no human friends does probably mean she's doing it wrong). Anyway, the biggest lesson she seems to be learning is that man shouldn't mess around with magic god stuff, which makes her very presence on earth self defeating. She'd be better off giving in, keeping the costume on and getting a bit more ambitious.

I’m seeing ppl say that several characters who have dramatic death scenes end up alive at the end(?)

I am... ambivalent? about the movie

it didnt suck but it wasnt v enjoyable eithet

There were parts that I liked

but the bulk of the movie was, I dunno - the parts i didnt care about like WISHES ARE COCAINE DO YOU SEE like uuuggg hhhh FUCK OFF WE GET IT JESUS CHRIST it was was sooooo overwritten & piled on it got boring almost right away —- but then Max & his kid, or him as any kind of discernible character was really underwritten

And Pablo was miscast or they upped his character after he signed on, he seemed kinda lost in such a weird role but who wouldnt be i guess

And the stuff Diana & Steve switching roles like he’s in her world now & he’s the naif ... it sort of worked i guess but was v undercooked

And just call it Wonderwoman 2 ffs - calling it Wonder Woman 84 gives me an expectation of a great soundtrack which never eventuatedinstead is three (3) partial songs at one (1) party

I feel like someone greenlit the 1984 aspect ages ago thanks to Stranger Things but it was never more than an afterthought

i liked all the stuff w barbara & diana / cheetah & wonder woman, i could have done w way less of max lord personally

and gail is a great wonder woman, just standing around or flying through the air or whatever
i could watch her all day

They made him way too likable for the amount of Trump cosplay they were doing.

Most of the supey characters in the Ant-Mans have alter egos & secret identities iirc.

Walter Chaw's review: https://www.filmfreakcentral.net/ffc/2020/12/ww84.html

lol he brings up Superman IV, too!

More Superman 3 tbh

he also answers your question of why she still has a secret identity 66 years later

Must have missed that there, too, ha.

Anyway

Strange fact: John Joseph is good friends with Patty Jenkins, allegedly got her her first directing gig (for a Leeway vid lol) and sent her this shirt personally. pic.twitter.com/v8DlhjyemV

— Sturgeon's Law (@Sturgeons_Law) December 26, 2020

He's right that the album was around in tape form before 86, but he's fudging the facts here. The black tape wasn't even finished until 85 (as you can see here), and that album cover/shirt design didn't exist until 86. pic.twitter.com/FbyHUwc5Na

— Sturgeon's Law (@Sturgeons_Law) December 26, 2020

How does the wish renouncing work.

If 10 people wished they were married to Taylor Swift, is she now married to all ten?

Also at least 5% of males wished for a bigger weiner and no way they renounce that

I’m not going to see this either way, but am curious if this is worse than Superman 3, which is in the running for the worst superhero movie I’ve ever seen

Also at least 5% of males wished for a bigger weiner and no way they renounce that

I think you mean 5% minutes f males wished every other male had a smaller wiener

WONDER WIENER 1984

20% of American men would have to renounce their wang wish when they realized they went too large and their cardiovascular system isn't up to getting it hard.

So wait. Imagine that 5% of men wished everyone else's weiner is smaller. How can that 5% all have bigger weiners than the other dickwishers when they all wished for each other to have smaller ones?

FILM DISPROVEN.

u_u

The entertainment world is going to be flooded with 12-inch pianists.

Have the movie playing now, and understand why Neanderthal began fiddling with his phone during this intro. I didn’t tune in to see “Wonder Kid,” lol

Well, there was Commander Salamander—guess I can bail now.

If they had real cred, they would have made the anchor in this mall a Hecht’s.

I like how they cut to the two scientists out to dinner, right when Gadot is saying to Wiig, “You’re so funny! I can’t stop laughing!!”—rather than bothering to write the funny dialogue for us to hear.

so i says to mabel, i says

Lol.

Wiig: "One day soon I will gain superpowers and then later I will turn into a cat."
Gadot: "You’re so funny! I can’t stop laughing!!”

What if they did write funny dialogue but as soon as test audiences saw it, they demanded Bridesmaids 1984 instead?

That's what it was, Wiig probably just kept farting at the table.

Wiig: (farts)
Gadot: "You’re so funny! I can’t stop laughing!!”

I always respected the fact that Wiig and her writing partner turned offers to do a Bridesmaid sequel because they didn’t think they could make something as good. That seems rare idk.

no it is not worse than Superman 3.

It is dumb and boring, but as far as DC films go it's actually probably the third best one (I'd saw WW1 is at the top, followed by Aquaman; I know I'm in the minority there but I found that hilariously entertaining).

Aquaman really nailed it’s tone imo. Knowingly stupid without winking.

Also helped by the fact that James Wan probably has unique trash influences and spatial coherence in his approach to action compared to people who make tentpole stuff like that

Well, a third one definitely happening:

https://deadline.com/2020/12/wonder-woman-3-wonder-woman-1984-opening-box-office-1234661808/

Wonder Woman 3 is being fast-tracked, Warner Bros. announced today. The news comes as the pic has amounted to $85M WW after a $16.7M domestic debut.

The threequel will be written by Patty Jenkins, who is attached to direct, and starring Gal Gadot.

...

On HBO Max, WarnerMedia reports that the DC sequel was viewed by “nearly half of the platform’s retail subscribers viewing the film on the day of its arrival, along with millions of wholesale subscribers who have access to HBO Max via a cable, wireless, or other partner services. HBO Max also saw the total viewing hours on Friday more than triple in comparison to a typical day in the previous month.”

Some users on the HBO Max Help Twitter handle reported various glitches, either 4K streaming problems or Roku bad connections. Overall, we hear from insiders that it wasn’t a Defcon4 meltdown, meaning a complete outage of HBO Max.

“Wonder Woman 1984 broke records and exceeded our expectations across all of our key viewing and subscriber metrics in its first 24 hours on the service, and the interest and momentum we’re seeing indicates this will likely continue well beyond the weekend,” said Andy Forssell, Executive Vice President and General Manager, WarnerMedia Direct-to-Consumer in a statement. “During these very difficult times, it was nice to give families the option of enjoying this uplifting film at home, where theater viewing wasn’t an option.”

I am so sick of reading the, “maybe it’s not that WW84 is bad, it’s that you are only now realizing that all superhero movies are bad” garbage takes. No, I feel pretty confident in saying that WW84 is a bad movie by any comparison. It’s like someone having never watched a musical in their entire lives, making it halfway through La La Land and triumphantly declaring, “see? every musical is terrible!”

i realize i am in the minority here but superman 3 is awesome

pvmic <3

https://24.media.tumblr.com/1eefaab62fc821ec80d688d9912f1f88/tumblr_mmpvfytRBZ1qedb29o1_500.gif

The opening slapstick thing in Superman 3 is good (image of the car filling up with water has long stuck with me) even if it has no place in a Superman movie. The scene where the villain’s sister is turned into a killer robot by the giant super computer is legit terrifying.

This movie has more in common with the scene in IV when (iirc) Superman puts all of the planet's nuclear weapons into a big sack and throws it into space.

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/superman-iv-quest-for-peace/4.gif

Holy shit!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ysPO7cWRng

"lol sure it was terrible but YOU ALL WATCHED IT so now you get WWIII"

i liked WW84 *runs* sorry ilx hivemind

B and the kids were watching this at home (bcs they went to see it at the cinema earlier in the day and got kicked out due to a fire alarm 30 mins in).

I think I walked past the Tv twice... once Pedro had a blood nose and was yelling something about particles can touch people.. and then at the end, where everyone in our living room looked angry at the TV while a bunch of stuff was going in reverse.

I dont think it got a thumbs up in our house.

I wish--hey, where's that draft coming from?--I had been able to see this at a packed screening at the Uptown. It certainly looks impressive; Georgetown doesn't look nearly so good these days. But such devotion to recreation of a past that only DC-area residents of a certain age will recognize frankly distracts from the lesson of the plot.

I kinda didn't mind the $250 million dollar b movie vibe, fucking ridiculous flick

pedro pascal was chewing up scenery like crazy, almost loony nic cage energy

i enjoyed the architechture

ums totally otm about Nic Cage energy

He's like Nic Cage crossed with Robert Vaughan in Superman 3.

So wait. Imagine that 5% of men wished everyone else's weiner is smaller. How can that 5% all have bigger weiners than the other dickwishers when they all wished for each other to have smaller ones?

FILM DISPROVEN.

would have been amazing if ww's plant to defeat pedro was to let him beam his wishcast with all the particles, leading to this inevitable contradictory mass dickwish, thus destroying the pedro/stone just like kirk fracks an evil AI by telling it a paradox

is there seriously a part in this movie where there's a wishing stone?

yes and then Pedro becomes the stone

oops I meant to type /h....haha

well i guess i'm watching this now

I spent a ton of time telling my friend how terrible it is and then telling him to watch it. Except it's 2.5 hours long, which is a draaaaaaaag.

One of the worst things about EVERYTHING IS STREAMING is the near total devaluation of editing in favor of weak content that provides more eyeballs for longer, ie “the netflix effect.”

Or the “podcast effect.” Or “i wanna be sedated” or whatever.

Eh, lack of good editing and overlong runtimes is a superhero movie (or just Hollywood movie) problem, imo, not a streaming movie problem, imo. Wonder Woman 2 was going to be shitty and boring as anything other than a 22 minute cartoon episode.

I do think the Netflix effect (or whatever we should call it) has hurt lots of documentaries, where the story is stretched out over several episodes just because they have the footage or interviews and time and space to show them, even if they fail to advance the story/narrative.

lack of good editing and overlong runtimes is a superhero movie problem, imo, not a streaming movie problem

and yes, I saw at least 15 bad 90 minute documentaries last year that could have been excellent 30 minute pieces but you don't get funding/distribution that way

DC hardly has a monopoly on overlong superhero headache movies

endgame is the only marvel movie i can think of that really outstayed its welcome for me

sony's marvel stuff on the other hand...

I saw at least 15 bad 90 minute documentaries last year that could have been excellent 30 minute pieces but you don't get funding/distribution that way

Netflix doesn’t shy away from doc shorts (but maybe you’re talking about a different streamer)?

every comic book movie without exception should be 30 minutes shorter than it is

The one that broke me was the Wild, Wild West cult doc (Netflix?), which kept hinting at big revelations that never arrived, and to such an extent that I think we both gave up on it. I thought the Golden State Killer one (HBO) was also too many episodes. It's a combination of wanting to honor the subject but also being unwilling to leave out enticing or salacious or just valuable (from a marketing standpoint) footage or interviews. I didn't watch The Vow (HBO), but my wife asked about it and I told her it was nine hours long and people thought that was both kind of overkill and at the same time almost cynically incomplete. What kind of documentary about a single subject excitedly announces a second season? At a certain point it's no longer a documentary but just a particularly stilted reality show.

The comics movies I generally don't have a problem being too long, even the long ones, because it feels like reading several volumes of a massive crossover comics event. The bad ones (like this one) would have been bad at any length.

Comic book movies can stay the length they are but there should be bathroom breaks at the top of each hour

We watched the HBO docuseries on the McDonalds Monopoly game scam, and that did feel somewhat too long / unfocused.

The (ESPN/Netflix) Michael Jordan series, on the other hand, was well paced etc.

many of the overlong or unnecessarily ruminating or simply poorly structured docs I'm thinking of weren't necessarily made by or for netflix but they are competing for the same airtime and funding so tend to play by the same rules. The reigning formula is taking a small 45 minute story with a simple and interesting hook and padding it out to 90+ minutes with hagiography, wandering vision, gauzy high concept "human interest" elements, unnecessary historical recreation and/or lousy editing... all in the name of hitting a run time that justifies a full-length sale.

From my last year watchlist alone, I'm thinking of Fantastic Fungi, Slay the Dragon, Spaceship Earth, Ringside, Booksellers, Seahorse, Danny Trejo's biodoc, All In, Class Action Park, Tiny Tim's biodoc, The Donut King, Last Breath, The Woman Who Loves Giraffes, It Started as a Joke, Circus of Books, Feels Good Man, Disappearance of my Mother, My Octopus Teacher, The Pollinator, The Last Blockbuster, etc

Errol Morris' Wormwood doc for netflix was the first time i really put 2 & 2 together about modern doc-inflation. I think it was 5 hours? I was so excited for it and so disappointed by it, just insanely padded, with nothing at the end to justify the length. Later I heard an interview with him where he was asked why did he decide this story needed to be 5 hours and he blurted out "that's how much time Netflix gave me to fill", he quickly walked it back but still

cf to Wiseman who regularly produces lean, entrancing four hour documentaries. it can be done! but length is prioritized over quality in this marketplace.

on the other hand, one of the most remarkable and memorable docs i've seen in the past five years is the 15 minute Dolphin Love, which almost certainly will be blown into an unwatchable 5 hour series when and if Netflix opts in.

NB: this is readily available on YouTube and is very much worth watching imo but it's about a guy who falls in love with a dolphin and has sex with it so know that it's deeply problematic before you click.

#OneThread

Ok but again, Netflix does acquire special-interest documentary shorts (dolphin sex may be a little too “special-interest,” lol)

kinda feel like the strategy with their plan regarding acquisition of shorts is to then groom the creators for long form stuff, basically grist for the recommendation engine. i dunno, i'm sure there's lots of creative people at netflix who really love film but the bottom line is absolutely unit shifting

I could have sworn Netflix already has a man falls in love with a dolphin doc, but then I realized I was thinking of the man falls in love with an octopus doc.

every comic book movie without exception should be 30 minutes shorter than it is

rewatched Ghost World two days ago, maybe it could stand a trim or two but the post-credits scene is killer

KInd of enjoyed it, watched it this afternoon.
Was there a reason they picked 1984.
I thought WWII was a big era for the character so are there any plans to go backwards again or are they just going to get closer to current day.

I see some factions have started to insinuate people who don't like the movie are sexist.

I didn't particularly think the movie portrayed WW very positively though. She's obsessed over the same man from 30 years ago to the point where she's ok putting the world at risk by dating a version of him who has taken over the autonomy of someone else's body?

Doesn't seem like WW to me

every comic book movie without exception should be 30 minutes shorter than it is

rewatched Ghost World two days ago, maybe it could stand a trim or two but the post-credits scene is killer

― shivers me timber (sic), Sunday, January 3, 2021 2:23 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

At the theater I was at, the whole crowd went nuts when Harvey Pekar showed up at the end of the post credits sequence

She's obsessed over the same man from 30 years ago

66 years ago!


(there really is a post-credits fight sequence in Ghost World btw)

oh wow I never knew that

So what are we supposed to understand that his kid lost when he wished for dad's greatness?

And for that matter, where was the kid's other parent? It seemed like the kid just .... repeatedly made his way alone to Lord's office?

I believe the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme addresses that

This movie is just such a random jumble of mess. It's hard to take it apart since it's barely held together in the first place. It's like talking about a pile of bricks.

Do we really need to see the kid's mom to understand that she dropped him off at the office when it was Lord's parenting time?

And... the kid lost his father when he wished for his father's greatness. Rather obviously, I thought.

We don't need to see the kid at all. Or Chris Pine. Or Kristin Wiig. Cut them all out, changes nothing but, perhaps, the stupid resolution.

xp but that had clearly already happened! although i guess as i think it through, i can see it -- of course his father was metaphorically/emotionally absent already, but if his father's actual being was replaced by the spirit inhabiting the stone, then Max-Lord-the-person was REALLY gone, not just emotionally checked out.

I do think the conceit is not thought through -- like, the question of who GETS the thing that is lost, and how, is very underspecified.

If we're talking about more stupid bullshit, the biggest consideration would be why mom, in the midst of an escalating global meltdown and the accelerating collapse of civilization, of which her ex and the father of her child is the mysteriously ubiquitous epicenter, would be all, oh well, I guess it's dad's weekend again.

Lord's son was about to wish that they could be together and Lord cut him off, saying not to wish for things they already had. After the kid wished for his dad's greatness, Lord buggered off and didn't give two shits about his kid until WW reminded him of the power of love, at which point he renounced his wish.

Also, the initial interaction they have before Lord gets the stone does not show a father-son relationship where the father is emotionally or metaphorically absent. Things are tenuous after Lord turns himself into the stone but they don't completely fall apart until his son makes that wish.

I think the conceit is that, as the embodiment of the wishing stone, Lord gets to take what he wants if he decides to do so; otherwise, the wisher just loses something to balance the scales and Lord doesn't gain anything specifically. Even Barbara's transformation is covered by that because all Lord needs to do is say "In return for granting wish x, I want to make this woman look like an extra from the Cats movie" and poof, CGI nonsense.

The global meltdown doesn't happen until after the kid wishes for Lord's greatness and Lord's connection to it is not mainstream knowledge at any point of the movie until he beams himself into every television in the world, so what basis would the mother have to invite legal repercussions upon herself by violating the custody agreement?

lol i didn't realize Maxwell Lord was in this. is he a presence in the JLA movie too?

Another thing I don't get is, does Superman not exist in 1984? Wouldn't he be flying around trying to do something about the impending nuclear apocalypse?

I did yell "WHERE IS SUPERMAN" several times at the television

Even assuming he's a kid still hiding his powers, you'd at least expect Batman to pop up somewhere

The global meltdown doesn't happen until after the kid wishes for Lord's greatness and Lord's connection to it is not mainstream knowledge at any point of the movie until he beams himself into every television in the world, so what basis would the mother have to invite legal repercussions upon herself by violating the custody agreement?

I just looked, and the final time the kid is dropped off with his dad (who is bleeding from the ears) people are literally rioting in the streets outside the office. It's around 90 minutes in. If he was dropped off, then his mom literally had to push through looters and lunatics and burning piles of stuff to get there. And then the very next scene is Max getting into his car, and the crowds being so thick with crazies (there for him, because he and his company is totally mainstream knowledge) that he has to have the driver wish they would part out of the way to get to the White House faster.

This movie is so stupid and bad.

I liked the final Cheetah look, but all the action/plot quibbles mentioned already, plus the escalator gag in the mall robbery and the preface of young Diana learning The Power of Truth had me grimacing. Thankfully, free with HBO/Comcast, so no buyer's remorse.

I did yell "WHERE IS SUPERMAN" several times at the television

xp to alpaca:

Thankfully, free with HBO/Comcast, so no buyer's remorse.

Julia Alexander expounded on this point recently:

Consumers are far less forgiving in a theatrical setting. On streaming services, however, that form of experimentation and possible lesser quality isn’t an automatic dealbreaker. Even if a movie is bad, the library should make up for the monthly price tag. Consistency and new titles are exciting, but the library retains subscribers.

The Mandalorian on Disney+ is part of the offering, but it’s not the whole product. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is the entire product people are paying for in theaters. When Rey learns she’s Palpatine’s granddaughter in The Rise of Skywalker and people audibly groan, that’s a feeling of an $80 loss. When Luke Skywalker appears for one minute in The Mandalorian’s second season finale, it’s an eye-roll for some, but people are unlikely to stop subscribing to Disney+ — especially since The Mandalorian is almost universally praised for just about everything else. But The Rise of Skywalker and Solo may make some audiences more wary to go see the next Star Wars movie in theaters instead of waiting to watch it at home. (I use “may” because this is still Star Wars and, even though The Rise of Skywalker didn’t hit analyst expectations, it still passed $1 billion.)

https://musingsonmouse.substack.com/p/star-wars-nostalgia-fatigue-and-marvels

Solo is basically the only good Star Wars movie made post-1983

FP

lol well there goes a lot of diligent avoidance of Rise of the Skywalkers spoilers so I could go into the movie with a semi-open mind

forks did you a favor there tbh

Washington DC geography nitpicking: After Diana and Steve leave the White House (1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW), why do they go to the Navy Memorial (700-900 Pennsylvania Ave.) to witness the riot and for Diana to renounce her wish? If they're on their way to Diana's apartment, they've gone in the wrong direction. Pennsylvania Ave. at that time was open to traffic and was a regular destination for protesters.

(Presumably the contemporary powers that be wouldn't allow the production to film in front of the White House.)

Otherwise I'm quite amused at the production's attention to the details of a bygone DC. Pity the reconstructed Commander Salamander (across the street from the historic storefront!) couldn't have reopened for a promo popup.

Another thing I don't get is, does Superman not exist in 1984? Wouldn't he be flying around trying to do something about the impending nuclear apocalypse?

Assuming WW84 is canonically continuous with Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, how old would Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne have been in 1984?

Do those movies even have years attached to them?

I thought Affleck was playing older than his actual age, given the artificially-greyed hair, so he would have been near the beginning of his bat career

forgot which thing mentioned it but he probably wished for his parents to be alive and then lost 'em all over again

lmao I would have liked to have seen that

It would have been like that sequence in Teen Titans Go! To The Movies

ha, yes!

Best superhero movie, that

there goes a lot of diligent avoidance of Rise of the Skywalkers spoilers

“people audibly groan” / “an eye-roll for some” doing a lot of work in that... amusing analysis. Guess she’s not a Star Wars fan!

she's been an entertainment reporter for The Verge and Polygon for the past five years with a specialty focus on Disney; i daresay she's watched and knows more about star wars than you or i do!

I’ve only read the paragraphs you quoted but they don’t seem to make sense (the jibes at SW aside). Disney is investing hugely in new content for D+ specifically because “the library” alone doesn’t retain members. The library is thin... if you’ve had D+ for a year and have kids, you’ve seen it all already!

you know who really has that D+? Steve Trevor, amirite

Steve Trevor's hapless 80s avatar, you mean

so like if he took over someone else's body, were they just along for the ride, with no body autonomy?

if so, I guess the only enjoyable parts were sexxin' with Wonder Woman, the rest abject terror.

lmao I would also watch that movie

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH oh hey sexy time AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Seriously. Body swap victim dude probably woke up with some really impressive bruises.

"I had this really weird dream where I was getting the shit kicked out of me by... Rumpleteaser?"

Steve Trevor's hapless 80s avatar, you mean

I didn't even make it to Trevor getting mentioned, but if she's still pining for the D after one ride on it 70 years ago...

Hey, come on, D+.

It's D+ now

I see some factions have started to insinuate people who don't like the movie are sexist.

― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Sunday, January 3, 2021

saddest stans

lol i didn't realize Maxwell Lord was in this. is he a presence in the JLA movie too?

― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Monday, January 4, 2021

nah they use his name for no obvious reason and burn him to the ground in this one

Solo is basically the only good Star Wars movie made post-1983

― thousand-yard spiral stairs (f. hazel), Monday, January 4, 2021

won't FP bc i'm sure you meant Rogue One

I’ve only read the paragraphs you quoted but they don’t seem to make sense (the jibes at SW aside). Disney is investing hugely in new content for D+ specifically because “the library” alone doesn’t retain members. The library is thin... if you’ve had D+ for a year and have kids, you’ve seen it all already!