Alone in the Park - it's the Prem 2020-21 thread

It's about that time, so let the complaints and assessments of who may or may not be ready begin

and yeah i started because

https://tmssl.akamaized.net/images/foto/normal/fabio-silva-fc-porto-u19-1556117018-21920.jpg

HE'S READY

https://gmsrp.cachefly.net/images/20/08/15/a7db7b9bdb609c3c2e6f41fd497ead84/320.jpg

He [squints at fax] would be ready if he was allowed to be

https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/webimg/QVNIMTE2MTc3ODY3.jpg?width=640

HE LOOKS READY

was looking frwd to messi going to city and having no discernible effect on their performances.

given lfc have run themselves into the ground over the last 2 seasons and have signed a grand total of 2 players over that period, neither of whom are starters, i'm not expecting them to win the league again.

utd since fernandes have been good but can't see ogs being able to add anything extra on top of what the players themselves can do cf. the way he/they shat it in semi finals last season. de gea could throw in 3 by october and still probably not be replaced by henderson.

chelsea should be interesting as a keegan newcastle 2.0 with all those great attackers plus a dire defence and rancid goalie.

am p stoked for dirtyleeds but not getting ben white from brighton will hinder them, don't rate robin koch that highly

and having said all that it seems equally possible that i will lose all interest by the start of october as prem post lockdown last season p much bored me even incl lfc winning the bloody thing. cl mini cup was enjoyable though.

Yeah the excitement of a new season is tempered by how crap lockdown football has been.

Lampard and Solskjaer both good odds not to see the season out I think, Abramovitch has thrown money at the squad so I don't think a battling top 4 finish will be what he's looking for, Solskjaer probably a bit safer but he's not all that and again, will be expected to improve. Odds of Wolves cracking the top 6 tempered by tiredness, squad changes and the aforementioned crapness of empty stadiums, but I expect us to be thereabouts.

Liverpool won't romp the league but hard to look beyond them or City for the title.

Wolves about to sign an 18 year old Porto forward?

Record fee for one of the most hyped 18 year-olds in the world, hard not to get a bit excitable

Of course their opener is during work hours on a date I'm training. Lol. Three times in a row now.

If YouTube TV lets me record it, maybe.

Zillionaire John Henry cheaping out on the Red Sox and Liverpool so close to winning championships is lols.

Think I’m gonna root for Leeds this season.

lol please please please do

ok i'm not linking to the gutter press but lol Greenwood and Foden are very naughty boys and they should feel bad

I used to think I hated Leeds but at this stage its oddly reassuring, like nu-metal coming back.

Mahrez and Laporte have the rona btw.

VDB is a good addition for Utd, but based on the evidence of post-lockdown football we'll seriously struggle if we don't get another couple of players

The worrying thing is we don't seem to have any plan for the RW beyond Sancho, despite not having a proper winger there for like five years now

Can see us going for a panic loan on deadline day - possible Douglas Costa or the like - which would be pretty underwhelming

As it stands, I think our first XI is up there with the best in the league but the bench options are absolutely dire and Solskjaer seems to not trust any of them to come on and change a game

In summary, 4th will be about the height of our ambitions

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6a/d6/08/6ad608cec0a8ff1f9db5171e0a84b7e5.jpg

He's ready

VDB is a good addition for Utd

Not even slightly convinced by this tbf. Would like to be proven wrong but Utd isn't the kindergarten Ajax is. Think he'll have a hard time making his mark.

Porto is our feeder club now

Think he'll have a hard time making his mark.

He'll get enough games given the state of United's midfield. Then again, could be a Davy Klaassen situation idk.

I rate him higher than Klaassen, VDB's got more talent. I'm just not sure his frivolity will be appreciated/come to fruitition as much as it did at Ajax.

state of Utd's midfield? It's looking better than it has in years

VDB I see as a depth addition who can sub for a few of our midfielders, while hopefully pushing for a starting spot

personally I think our current first XI is a match for anyone in the league

it's when we have to go to the bench that the trouble starts

Obviously he's not going to displace or challenge Bruno F but I guess is the aim is to play him behind him during the half a season when Pogba is injured or underperforming.

is it me or does Fábio Silva look like the singer from a landfill indie band?

https://www.expressandstar.com/resizer/ezUTZcRyx14-ZQyZO_x_bH0SL-c=/1000x0/filters:quality(100)/cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/expressandstar.mna/XFCUMDNNIVEWLLNLZCQIYFGNNM.jpg

1) why is he in San Francisco? and 2) I highly doubt it's that big

looks like he has the Golden Touch alright

i hope my dick get big as the Eiffel tower
so I can fuck the world for 72 hours

Fulham are very bad

Damien Delaney’s dream dinner party guests are a trip. pic.twitter.com/MJVgVGwcWZ

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) September 12, 2020

Any amount of money says they made him replace Hitler with Keith Richards.

hitler is going to be furious he didn't get an invite, guy's got a temper

I bet he's read some piss poor history books, especially if he thinks China had a billion plus population since the 50s!

I thought I'd misheard this, 5 Live lads pissing themselves

Solid list tbh, I'd sub out Richards for Andrea Dworkin, it's a bit of a sausage fest and I bet he's a boring bastard

Somebody needs to start the non Prem thread so I can lol at Derby

I just spent literally five minutes scrolling down the preliminary FA cup fixture list on my phone. It's astonishing so many non-league clubs are still going in the age of cholera.

Excellent Leeds goal. 1-1 after about ten minutes.

Awful defending for both teams. Would be 2-2 if Bamford wasn’t a terrible fraud of a player.

the curse of the post! but still Bamford is shite!

mo salah with short hair looking hot

missed the start, was hoping this would be spicy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSZBIs0gs0E

Ah 2017 LFC how I've missed you. Actually it turns out that I haven't and have become one of those dullards who values competence over excitement. I blame too much Football Manager. First LFC penalty poor decision imo.

They don't call it the Poorthorns for nothing

The gulf in quality and ambition between Leeds and West Brom / Fulham was enormous.

lol, what a let-off.

Everton deserve to be ahead though.

Ambition doesn't really come into it with Fulham, I think they might just be awful.

Very concerned that Toby is just washed up, he's lost all his pace and he and Dier is not a CB pairing that inspires confidence.

Bearing in mind I'm a back 4 you'll need to cover Doc too

Yes and we don't have the pace at the back to do that. Sanchez needs to be in the team but I think Mourinho's decided he's a wuss.

Son's decision making has been awful today.

I see Nuno's signed his new contract, obviously that's a relief but not least cos it'll be one less thing for our doomsayers to moan about

If Spurs end the transfer window with no striker and Dier at CB, they’ll deserve everything coming to them.

Everton threatening to be, what, the third team to return from pre-season so far

deliberately maneuvered to get my class's lunch to start at exactly the time the Wolves match does. ;) so that covers the first half at least.

you could probably check out now anyway

jfc I was 6 minutes late getting the feed up and we scored twice already?

Wolves are just putting on a masterclass in possession retention in that last sequence. Jimenez just a touch high there.

dying to see the goal replays

man Jimenez is fast

Drafted Jimenez first in our fantasy league so a goal within three minutes was an excellent early return.

I think Sheffield United's fake fans have been stunned into silence by those two early goals.

they're staging a fake walkout right now

Sheffield starting to see more possession now

If McBurnie gets sent off he can probably make his shift at the South London craft beer shop he works at the rest of the time.

major lol at Donk's bowl cut

wow, first goal was a beaut.

Podence, maaan, nice linkup

amazed Sheff didn't score on that one

wow, lucky again. Patricio was exposed there.

Wolves you might wanna tighten up here.

wow, almost 3 there but nope

Far be it for me but that was a high quality win

A high quality spanking if I'm honest

well-earned clean sheet (esp that Seiss header towards the end to save a goal). considering how out of sorts Wolves looked at the beginning of last year, good start to the year.

Chelsea have been fairly shite

3-1

Brighton pretty possible to go down imo

I thought they looked pretty good tbh. Lamptey is a brilliant prospect

Chelsea scored two jammy goals and a wonder strike out of nothing

On the basis of this weekend there are worse teams than Brighton.

I can't believe I'm saying this in week one but the current bottom three look like they're all going down, depending on who West Ham replace Moyes with.

Raul's touch on his goal was so beautiful I nearly cried

I was too bombed to properly follow Chelsea-Brighton tbf. West Brom a lock for relegation, almost certainly Fulham, that's gotta take the stress off a few teams

Jack Grealish has signed a new contract at Aston Villa for a number of years and, perhaps unfortunately for him, it's fiiiiiive

I have a soft spot for the boy Grealish I gotta admit

good callback biscuits

yes it had me searching for the footcelsior thread

One of the game's sleeping giants, biscuits man aston villa is desperate to relive past glories

Tell you what I reckon the villa could nick this on a set piece

lot of shade thrown Neil Taylor's way these last 4 years but credit to the lad, the way he fooled those Burton defenders into thinking he'd totally lost sight of the ball during the build-up to the equalizer was something else. Bergkampesque! #BAMBOOZLED

That assist was completely above his pay grade. Everything about his body language screamed "do I have to?"

Watkins too, to be fair. A Terrible Goal To Have To Score

He's ready

Tottenham are in talks to sign Gareth Bale from Real Madrid. Daniel Levy have asked about Bale during the negotiations for Reguilon.
Bale’s agent Jonathan Barnett just confirmed to BBC: “Gareth still loves Spurs, we are talking. It's where he wants to be”. ⚪️ #THFC #Real #Bale

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) September 15, 2020

Some speculation about Alli going the other way as well but I can't really believe Zidane has decide that Dele is the solution to all his problems.

both Villa scorers tonight looking appropriately embarrassed to be associated with the rest of these schlubs

Oh wow are youse in the lead?

Man these local derbies are the worst

third Villa scorer looking pretty chuffed with himself but tbf he's a "striker" scoring his first ever goal after approximately 6000 competitive minutes so good for him i guess

I checked but I knew you meant Keinan Davis. Worst player in the Prem last year along with Ricardo. Well... maybe a bit behind Ricardo.

https://play.stuff.co.nz/details/_6190616384001

seems like a shit deal but Jose won't care I suppose

Tottenham to pay Real Madrid €30m (£27.5m) plus €5m (£4.5m) in add-ons for Sergio Reguilon. Madrid retain buyback for two years at set price of €40m (£36.8m). They also have right of first refusal. Great short-term deal for Spurs, brilliant for Madrid. https://t.co/mtHC5pCwfQ

— Colin Millar (@Millar_Colin) September 16, 2020

this is a loan until he's gone basically

There’s speculation that Bale would be a permanent transfer with no fixed fee and Spurs would just pay on performance metrics.

Looks like we're centering in on a brick shithouse Dutch target man as well. If we can sign a centre back as well then it's party time.

Dost?

That's what I heard yeah.

Christ, it looks like the Bale thing is actually happening. Lo Celso-Son-Bale-Kane could be a motherfucker.

Probably needs to be caveated that he hasn’t really had a proper run of starts for two years and hasn’t looked great when he has played but if Spurs can get him fully fit and motivated, absolutely.

Dost seems a lot more realistic than asking for Belotti on loan.

I see Leeds are too big for the Carabao already

they are absolutely fooooking huuuge, the prem just disappeared for 18 years

Exlcusive: Thiago is going to Liverpool. Story by @Simon_Hughes__ and @JamesPearceLFC https://t.co/PZApxxwDZb

— Raphael Honigstein (@honigstein) September 17, 2020

Best PL signing this summer.

Obv been feeling a bit down re transfers but this is an actual straight-out-the-box-world-class player who immediately goes into the first XI and improves it. Fucking made up with it and fair play to them

What's gonna happen w/ Gini? Thought he was off to Barcelona a while a go, but since then it's been crickets

I hope he stays but suspect he'll go now

Can't work out why Bayern would even consider letting Thiago leave?

From the article in the tweet:

Thiago had negotiated a contract extension in May, but he changed his mind just before signing, telling Bayern that he wanted to take up a “new challenge”. Since then Liverpool has been his preferred destination.

tapped up

because of the business model they need to sell but I'd rather they parted with the likes of Grujic and Harry Wilson who are unlikely to ever really make it at Liverpool. Even a decent fee for Ox maybe (and whisper it but I'm not sue Klopp is 100% convinced by Brewster either). Gini is top quality, great around the squad, Virgil's best mate and super fit. He could go on and on like Milner. But I guess he never gets to play his preferred position for usand Barca are always tempting, regardless of their current woes

Xxp

I see Wolves are too big for the Carabao

why even waste Traore for the full match if a half-assed lineup was gonna be used. you have a match on Monday against Man City.

almost the one year anniversary of that 2-0 win at Etihad that I still watch replays of for funsies

Don't know about reasons for Traore. Two thirds of the team was the regular starting lineup so I don't think Nuno was trying to lose. Gotta give the fringe players a game somewhere. Couldn't get a stream so I haven't seen it.

Work...meh.

I think i can watch Mondays on DVR delay if i avoid this thread.

Jota to liverpool?

If he's going to sit on the bench it might as well be at Anfield I suppose.

would be a
weird signing. guess that means origi being sold. would rather brewster got the minutes to see if he's up to it, unless klopp has already decided he isn't.

Had to check whether it was our Jota, would be sad to lose him but if the price is right. He still needs to improve bit he's young enough, don't think we should sell for less than a lot

I assumed he was dropped cos of form but

I'd be very happy to add him to the squad, seems the type of player who could improve a fair bit under klopp

and my curse of jerseys becoming obsolete a year after I buy them continues

doesn't bode well that I just bought a Raul this year o_O

Have read the reports this morning and there's a young centre back coming to us as part of the deal. Assuming we've done our usual due diligence this seems smart, we need to bolster the back line. Much as I love Diogo we've evolved to the point where he's replaceable, hope he goes from strength to strength except against us

Yeah Hoever is a right sided centre half, has played full back and even right mid for the kids. A lot was expected from him at one point

Still only 19? I imagine Nuno believes he's improbable even if he goes in the Under 23s for now

Lol improvable I hate this phone

West Brom were pretty much bossing this and now they're down to 10 men and 2-1 down before half time

Bilic getting sent off made for a pretty funny throw to the ad break. he's such a tit.

Immaculate free kick from Pereira

5-2 now

Everton dodging an ignominious fate

would 5-3 be an ignominious scoreline?

a lot to like about Everton and fun to have another team potentially "in the mix" with Leicester and Wolves, but Pickford-Keane-Mina looks pretty fucking thin for a team with pretensions to anything more than mediocrity

Slaven Bilic is just painfully uncool. really stands out when directly comparing him with Carlo obv, but seriously. that fucking earring! what a goof.

I reckon in this context it would be

if you'd were 4-3 up in a see-saw thriller and you caught them on the break to put it beyond doubt you'd be like, yeah alright

Conceding a third against the 10-man demoralised shell of a long beaten team? Awful

players registered as squad members for Everton F.C. in this EPL 2020/2021 season whomst you had completely forgotten existed- Cenk Tosun; Sandro Ramirez; Yannick Bolasie; Mo Besic; Jonas Lossl

in fact fuck it, add that prize cunt Fabian Delph to that list

Martin Keown accusing Richarlison of having nothing on his mind is the rankest of hypocrisy

welcome back to the Prem Helder

Cracking finish

Penalty to Fulham

Scored

Keeper should probably have save it

Still no idea if that was really a pen after six replays

Have read the reports this morning and there's a young centre back coming to us as part of the deal. Assuming we've done our usual due diligence this seems smart, we need to bolster the back line. Much as I love Diogo we've evolved to the point where he's replaceable, hope he goes from strength to strength except against us

― how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, September 19, 2020 6:01 AM bookmarkflaglink

If we're getting CB help, i think it's a good move.

Patrick Bamford is going to be this year's Grant Holt isn't he?

Oh the ignominy

Unreasonably annoyed by that banner saying "SIDE BEFORE SELF. EVERYTIME."

An absolute VAR masterclass happening in the Utd game

Utd have been shocking but that's genuinely a fucking disgrace

Yeah who fuckin wants this? Fuck var

Young Donny on the scoresheet

Well that was grim

Solskjaer first sacking odds tumbling

Hodgson can't have done any harm to his chances to make the next Man U manager shitlist shortlist

It’s astonishing that Spurs still can’t defend a dinked ball over the top. It was a let off today but iirc Ings scored pretty much exactly the same goal last season,

Incredible how quickly one of the strengths of our team - the CBs - has become one of the main weaknesses.

Think we might get something out of that Ndombele to Son ball at some point though. Djenepo looking terrifying.

Also Dele to PSG appears to be a thing. Maybe we can buy an entirely new team.

Was coming

Dinked ball over the top, inevitably.

love to see mou getting paid 8 mill a year for turning spurs into a hoofball team

Another cracking finish

Good from Ndombele there

Ndombele’s turn!

Boom!

Not a fan of these late offside flags

fuck var iirc

Boom again.

Son hat-trick

<3

Look at the joy on his face.

Three shots on target, three goals

I have to say this is quite unexpected considering how terrible we were for most of the first half.

Still half expecting Saints to get a couple themselves in the final 20

Make that four shots, four goals

Get fucking in

Think that's four assists foe Kane too

I'll say one thing for the Spurs' defence - at least they're not fucking Southampton

I mean one of them was in the Spurs defence until recently and has taken a hammering in this second half.

fuck VAR indeed

I didn’t think the handball situation could be worse than last season but the last three have been an absolute scandal.

Cost us a top 4 place too

what are they doing

how have they made it even more stupid

Two Maupay goals in the first six minutes.

My enthusiasm for Hasenhuttl has waned slightly after he decided that was the way to play against Spurs.

Newcastlol

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EiXKnLFXgAAFFiI?format=jpg&name=large

Astonishing performance from Kepa today, Karius-level shit.

Only had the radio on but I wouldn't expect him to start their next game

First half sounded a terrible match altogether, than god the Beeb are spoiling us with champagne football

And as I type that lol Chris Wood

they've signed Mendy from Rennes as a replacement

Kepa possibly the worst signing in PL history, given his price tag

Semedo a done deal?!!!

Fuck yes if so

Not official from the club yet last I checked but looks very done

What's the biggest weekend for goals in EPL history? We can't be far off that with two games left to go - including City Wolves which is a potential humdinger.

shhhhh

i dunno, i was going to start a "why is defending so bad and hated?" thread yesterday

Gibbs “I’ll fcuking do it again.
Seamus “No you won’t do it again. Who you talking to you’ll do it again? Hard man. Fcuking hard man.”pic.twitter.com/2OsHffdjNX

— Irish Football Pics (@irish_pics) September 20, 2020

Who cares? #defenceisboring #goals

yeah but we've already had the rules changed so you get penalties if you can hit a defender with the ball

Glad they finally adapted the Michael Jordan strategy

In MLS if you slip in the box because you are bad at football lose your footing they point to the spot.

Explains why we see fewer tackles in the box than in EPL and because they're bad at football

Gagging for Villa vs Sheffield Unitard to be a truly wretched 0-0 with no shots on target or incidents of note

i'll take that for our game tbh

no, ignore me, it's just worse pressure after last season somehow

You've got to build on last season and beat them by at least a three goal margin imo, nothing less

So many teams seem surprised that the season has started.

Also very few team playing archetypal 4-5-1 Allardycian clogger ball any more. Even Palace have a hint of joie-de-vivre under Hodgosaurus.

Sheffield United already down to 10 after Egan's slightly-more-innocuous restaging of the Chelsea red card

This is going to be a grindingly inevitable attacking masterclass isn't it

what an idiotic challenge

classic Saiss ffs

Small mercy that they didn't VAR it til 9pm

yeah i can't argue that one at all. the elongated slide made it even more comical

thought we were just starting to find our way into the game before that

I genuinely can’t remember the last time Wolves had possession in the City half.

City's press has been savage, this could be bad

that was some exemplary staying onside from Sterling

Delighted but also a little apprehentious to discover the existence of Liam Delap

feeling less bad about not being able to watch this now.

but....remember last year, we were down 2-0 and came back 3-2. though that was with 10-men Man City.

not been in it at all that half, need to change things around but i'm not sure how or who tbh

City very good, we haven't tactically got an answer, ok we haven't got a first choice wing back either side but that was nothing like good enough

Honestly I saw the City back four and assumed this would be 2-0 to Wolves, but I'm not sure the midfield has let them get anywhere near them.

i like Ake, think he was a reasonable signing, but as you say it hasn't mattered

maybe bring Donk on to play at RWB so Traore can get forward but i dunno, there's a problem with the shape, the energy, the lack of ideas

aw shit i thought that was in

the fake crowd were all over the shop on that one

This is unbelievable.

twice Podence has tried to be too clever

lol fuck's sake lads

Excellent from Podence.

oh man that nutmeg :D

Award Wolves the win for that IMO. Nutmegging KDB is just outrageous.

One more goal to break the record.

Have faith in Jesus.

at half time i was on the verge of saying i'd take not getting gubbed, which we weren't in the end

still plenty of room for improvement, i'm wondering what our first eleven will look like in a couple of months

welp at least going forward i'll be able to see the damn games rather than yelling at students.

sad to see we didn't pull off the same magic from last year, but hey....last year we hadn't even won a game until when? lol

Sent this tweet out to Emiliano Martinez today:

"Bienvenidos a su nuevo hogar, Sr. Martinez. Muchos gracias por ser un miembro de nuestra familia. #UTV #AVFC"

this is on the borderline of unacceptable but fuck it he makes me laugh

Wolves 1-3 Manchester City- Alternative Commentary pic.twitter.com/MbaRSfFixF

— cameron🇵🇹 (@wwfccameron) September 22, 2020

We have someone who does exactly that. Can't lie I do enjoy it. Ours has the voice at about double speed, fitting in much more verbiage and coming off as twice as pissed off

Semedo deal finally done, been biting my nails. Next phase is coming together.

Moyes has the rona.

i saw three West Ham lads have tested positive, looks like our game on Saturday might be off

also there's a lot of footballers starting to test positive, i doubt this is specifically cos of football, tho it's surely part of it, but also reflects the situation across the country?

more time for us to bring in Douglas Costa tho ffs, my head isn't used to this, i can still remember Gillingham at home

Football is testing very heavily and routinely, at the top level at least, so it's probably identifying more asymptomatic carriers than most other areas of society. Moyes and the other players don't appear to be ill (yet).

They're also going through airports a lot.

Misread that as Diego Costa and tried to ponder it for a while; couldn't lol

xp

it's probably identifying more asymptomatic carriers than most other areas of society

this is my main thought tho obv there are the other factors involved

Is Semedo good?

Barca first teamer, he's quick, strong, good feet. Don't know how many modern full backs are the full package attacking and defending but our system mitigates the defensive side a bit. I've enough trust in our scouting set-up at this point that Nuno sees him as somebody who meets the requirements and i'm absolutely certain he's at least a step up from Doc, and i rated Doc.

you may remember him from such games as

"He's just turned Nelson Semedo inside out! An experienced right-back... Whoops!"

Wow, Alphonso Davies is just so difficult to stop 🔥

A magnificent assist from Bayern's rising star at left-back 🙌#Club2020 pic.twitter.com/NCbOrOyaJS

— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) August 14, 2020

i'm aware of the Davies thing but by that rubric Podence just killed De Bruyne's career Monday night

anyway, looking forward to watching teams quadruple up on Adama/Semedo

I jest

Pretty jealous of any team making signings at the moment tbh!

nah i know :D also Davies is potentially pretty special himself

The Premier League and EFL banging the drum about how terrible it is the government won't let them get supporters back in is doing my head in

Like I get that the impact of this on the lower tiers of English football will be catastrophic but fuckin hell read the room lads what did you think was going to happen

mostly i've heard Rugby Union dudes moaning who i hate anyway but yeah it's not a good look, instead of demanding to host rona parties they should maybe be asking some more pointed questions about how else the government might stop us ending up with the 44 Club

It's is imperative that no public money is spent on "propping" up rugby clubs, they will spend every penny of it on pint glasses which they will then drink piss out of

can you believe we have the best looking team in the prem

— liv (@oliviawwfc) September 24, 2020

show me the lie

Looks like Wolves - West Ham to proceed with Moyes managing from home

What if his feed has a delay?

Can only help West Ham

What will they do without his tormented looks from the touchline or are they going to beam them on Zoom using a big telly?

Is it Solskjaer's last game yet?

Odds shortening

Always love a Panenka.

Aw poor show

This seems like a good game, Brighton are entertaining

Was momentarily outraged by the reversed penalty but Aaron Connolly's Plan A is clearly Fall Over

Utd clearly stung into action by the prospect of ending up with a manager that sometimes shouts at them and asks them to work hard

Would have been criminal if Brighton hadn’t got a second.

Arse. Can't say Brighton didn't deserve that, though.

First time I have ever seen the game restarted after the final whistle.

a real "you are the ref" moment

that might be the jammiest win i've ever seen

Amazing pen

Y'know, the word "shitshow" is bandied around a lot these days

Should have been about 6-2 to Brighton

Thought Trossard was wasteful with that one that hit the bar, was lucky it didn’t fly miles over

Opta saying four is is the record for a single team hitting the woodwork in a match, Brighton hit it five times with Trossard doing three of them

Another ludicrous handball decision against Palace.

Total bullshit pen to Everton there

Christ's sake. We already had a pointless check and dozens of replays of the first one that hit his arm that obviously wasn't a pen either

It can’t go on like this. It that’s an unnatural position, you might as well pin defenders’ arms behind their backs.

This is hilarious.

Amazing.

You can still get 25-1 on Lampard being the first manager sacked.

age ain't nuthin but a number? yeah, thiago, whatever.

3-0 up from 25% possession.

critical support for the Boggies

Hmm this is strange. I thought Lampard had quietly assembled the best team in the history of the premier league with some astute summer signings?

he did, but he left them at the arcade by mistake and when he returned the next morning, they were no longer there

my dad was Villa so I am too, but all my mum's side of the family were Baggies and I have no beef w/ them (still hope they go down but it ain't personal). this is hilarious.

Slaven Bilic is deeply irritating though

my local team in the States (Orlando City) actually beat the Baggies handily in a friendly 5 years ago (3-1). it didn't mean much - Kaka was actually playing for us, and we were in mid-season form and the Baggies in training/pre-season form, but you'd never know it by the way fans were screaming about it afterwards ('the season's over!')

to be honest i've always hated the Bluenoses way more than West Brom

oh ffs you Tesco wankers

Lampard is absolutely delighted.

Well not every team will go to the Poorthorns and manage a draw

Sky pundits giving Frank credit for making game changing substitutions smdh

actually tbf Jamie Redknapp is being slightly more circumspect

Gareth Barry is in some respects my avatar of my football fandom and I will forgive him almost anything. my first ever live football match was Villa 1 - 0 Arsenal on the last day of the 97-98 season and i believe that may have been his full Premier League debut at the age of 17. the following season we got season tickets and kept them for another 7 years so basically throughout my entire formative period as a football fan Gareth Barry was the Villa boy and for that i will love him unreservedly forever. but christ whose idea was it to let the boring cunt talk on the telly

I saw Robert Huth make his Premier League debut for Chelsea. Something to tell the grandkids.

Chelsea making Thiago Silva the captain on his debut is a massive vibe. Bungling a routine clearance to concede the second is an even bigger one.

So I asked myself, have I got anything more useful to do than sit in the pub and watch football all day?

Kinda surreal watching Leeds and Blades playing shexy football

Chances both ends technically altho Bamford must be a lock for Golden Wasteman this season

Bamford is going to end the season with 38 goals from 1062 chances.

it'll be something to talk about when he is the Conservative MP for Grantham and Stamford in 2031

I've had him in my draft-based fantasy league since the start of the season, final pick after all the Leeds fans in the league passed over him in multiple draft rounds. Absolutely can't wait for an excuse to drop the prick (seriously, it's like having Tim Henman in your team) but a) he won't stop scoring and b) he's playing Spurs soon.

Lol SV I made a give him 20 chances and he'll score joke at the time

Bielsa was at our game on friday night to mark his protege's homework, and as the commentary team noted with his mask covering more of his chin than his mouth. It's disorientating for me with L66ds having such a likable and impressive manager and Town having his former deputy, one can almost forget you are supposed to absolutely despise these fuckers. But I sort of wish them well these days in a confused manner, probably need a therapist to help me work through this confusion!

Big up whoever in the stadium decided to celebrate the Spurs goal by banging out 'Sandstorm'.

We are a completely different team with Lo Celso in the side, suddenly everything knits together.

Son is always impressive tho

That Newcastle handball appeal, my god

If you want a vision of the future, imagine a ball being hoofed against the tucked-in arm of a defender from three yards while grown men appeal to the referee in feigned outrage forever

We are moving worryingly closer to "fuck this sport", it's true

Lot of squandered possession from Spurs imo

Yep, I think it’ll come back to haunt them.

Patrick Bamford. The posh boy Pukki. The millionaire Marcus Stewart. The violinist who has defences on strings. Could’ve gone to Harvard but decided to teach the Premier League a lesson. The Barclays can’t handle that smoke. pic.twitter.com/AKkiVpnzru

— m durrant (@thepigeonpost) September 27, 2020

ffs

The game is dead.

Game's gone, that was a fucking disgrace

Fucking ludicrous VAR twaterry

It's not *just* VAR, it's just a clown car of bullshit now

Ludicrous interpretation of handball

It's a farce. But, I have to admit, a funny one.

Prior to Wilson taking the kick, Newcastle has had no shots on target and six attempts to claim a handball.

We should have been out of sight by then but this is a travesty. Once players work out at that all they have to do is make the ball hit the defender's hand the whole game's fucked.

Especially if its Andy Carroll using his head.

Dier's back was to the ball ffs

Yes Spurs shd've been out of sight but when I'm this radge about a decision that doesn't affect me

they're not even calling these handballs in MLS ffs, and their officiating is a joke

It’s also completely unbalanced. Defenders are effectively being told, if you’re going to challenge for the ball, you have to jump with your arms pinned to your side. Strikers don’t. As the Havertz thing showed yesterday, as long as you’re not the one who scores, it doesn’t seem to matter if the ball hits an attacker’s arm.

this feels like point shaving, wonder if Tim Donaghy is behind this

apparently Lascelles also committed a clear cut handball, albeit by the same pedantic interpretation of it these muppets are using now.

I hope Bruce loses to ten of these miserable idiot handball decisions this season

var managed to make the in ground experience of watching football terrible last season and having achieved that has moved on to making viewing at home wholly unsatisfying too. congratulations.

it's just aggravating because World Cup 2018 managed to use it so unobtrusively and instead of learning from that, they decided fans wanted more hyper-officiated football.

unless you're a relegation zone team who can literally only tie or beat the giants with this kind of luck, I doubt that's true (and hell I doubt fans of those squads want it either!).

it will wind up being like NFL football, where they made the roughing the passer rules so ridiculous that defenders started injuring themselves contorting their bodies trying to tackle the QB the very limited way they were allowed.

IMO cut defenders arms off, only solution

Cheeky monkeys

Absolutely outrageous from Vardy.

OK I like football again.

City made the classic mistake of getting an early goal. You need to wait a bit longer to score the first one.

Very weird watching a Guardiola team playing it long to Rory Delap's son.

Took vardy out my fantasy team this week

Huzzah a game not dictated by shit reffing

Cmon Wolves, give this shower the gubbing they deserve

Fuuuck come on. I saw that coming. Someone converge

Fucking idiocy, gifted the goal

That was a dire half

Dogshit, embarrassing

Plenty of time etc but ffs

Not crisp on the ball, getting murdered on counter attack, shit marking.

But it's only 1-0 somehow.

Give em hell, Nuno

Back to the old "we improve second half" thang ffs

And it gets worse

Stick a fork in me

Moyes should stop home permanently.

Aight I'm out. This is youth league defending

It's a shit business

Nothing about this is undeserved

Fulham and Leeds next opponents.

Hopefully that's a relief

We were poor at the start of last season, it's very nil desperandum but ffs

Gash tonight

Appreciate there's a lot of risk around the pandemic, but not sure this approach of randomly generating the results is appropriate

Also last year I could still go out for another few hours

If there was any justice our lads should be suffering my hangover this morning

Had a fucking awful day.

Just got home as got 2 flat tyres on the m5, lost my wallet, & to top it off I just managed to step barefoot in catshit.

Today can fuck off.

Time to watch my recording of mighty Wolves vs the Hammers.

No-one tell us the score, cheers #wwfc 🤞🏻🐺

— OldGold80 (@OGold80) September 27, 2020

😬

Not sure Fulham will reach Derby’s 2007/2008 points total at this rate.

Think they've got us coming up soon, should settle their nerves

Was gonna say over the weekend I think Fulham will go down but I don't see them being 9pts in a season flameouts, they'll get it down on the deck and play some nice stuff and surprise a couple of teams or whatever ¯\(°_o)/¯

As Nult would say this season so far has been one where one would not feel emboldened to make definitive, long-term predictions, but in retrospect perhaps Fulham's obvious total unawareness that opposition attackers may sometimes move should probably have suggested a problem to me

What do we reckon, five all?

certainly look as though we'll be good for a couple of pennos in the current climate but i'm not gonna worry, not with Ice Cold Emi Martinez in goal.

we still look pretty bad in many important ways. passing the ball from one player to the other for eg

Is John McGinn "back"? Two assists and a textbook marseille roulette before half time

LOL EVEN MCGINN IS AT IT pic.twitter.com/mVg5vBQ4pe

— Tøbiàs 🦁 (@AVFCTobias) September 28, 2020

yeah lol you could see what he was gonna try as he raced into contact, ngl i cheered

sincere appreciation too in this house for Trezeguet sprinting from right to left and back again, beating several defenders, losing the ball, winning it back, passing it on and making a run into the box, going like the clappers the whole time, before finally crashing face first into the turf when he inevitably ran out of gas at the crucial moment. go on son

Industrial-grade ketchup on that 0.8 Girosflin from the wee man. Bedlam in the ends. Fulham got straight-up Ultra Naté'd

Did I miss a third goal because I was composing a risible Mundial spoof post? Yes

go on rule that shit out

Martinez did not drop a clanger, that is fake newa

Don't call it a comeback

Not sure Fulham will reach Derby’s 2007/2008 points total at this rate

At this stage I'm wondering if they'll reach Swindon's goal's conceded record.

didn't have tierney down as a typical arsenal primadonna

wah my poor face wah

get tae fuck

scotland's other left-back having a moment there mind

tierney hits back by being absolutely ruined for the equaliser

and that's that little face-off settled

Pep might not like having a negative GD at the moment but a solemn reminder that Stoke lost their first ever league game 2-0 and that was the closest they've ever been to zero overall pic.twitter.com/oiYlSB6eKr

— Duncan Alexander (@oilysailor) September 28, 2020

lol

not that charlton's would look much different? actually i now need to know this

I can only offer you all-time PL goal difference

https://www.statbunker.com/alltimestats/AllTimeLeagueTable?comp_code=EPL

I'm sorry I'm not having MK Dons in there.

meh! I refuse to acknowledge such lousy Murdoch propaganda that ignores 100+ years of football history

bit of a turn-up

Morning, Villans. 😉

Welcome to Aston Villa, @RBarkley8! 🙌

🟣 #WelcomeRoss 🟣 pic.twitter.com/hTBWEi1RDz

— Aston Villa (@AVFCOfficial) September 30, 2020

Elegant Stealth Transfer

Not a bad window. Just need to sort, it says here, Milot Rashica - I don't know what that is but I know I need it yesterday

He's very good.

Newly Chipper Villans a nice counterweight to the cocky Wolves massive itt

i'm just gonna let that one sit for a while

I wish the gloomy Baggies were having a good transfer window or at least just bought their main transfer target rather than fucking about and haggling over mere pennies, because in the meantime our transfer window is at a standstill until the matter is resolved and no point playing deadline day chicken with our rotary club gammon chairman, no-one will win.

I'm sure I speak for the board's entire Aston Villa Football Club contingent when I say we retain deep respect for Wolverhampton Wanderers despite their baffling and borderline offensive shitting of the bed on Sunday evening

aiui Wolves-Villa is a tepid rivalry compared with either club against Blues or West Brom.

Everyone dislikes the Blues, that time under McLeish when they beat Arsenal in the league cup final was all the sweeter because it was the start of their hopefully ongoing downward spiral.

The Blues are cunts, tbh the Boggies are more a gently patronised poor cousin than a hate figure.

lol, yeah, Birmingham's ratio of success to widespread loathing engendered must be the largest in the country maybe

My uncle's one

He's a cunt ah no he's grand

I can't work out what element of Blues hate is their comical lack of trophies as compared to their long history of being renowned for thuggish lumpishness

lol, yeah, Birmingham's ratio of success to widespread loathing engendered must be the largest in the country maybe

The Franchise and Millwall must be above them in that particular table, maybe Cardiff, but that's about it.

And yeah I guess we all know individual fans who are grand, I know Leeds fans who are fine tbh

Does there exist a single fine Rangers fan? They seem most bad and hated, or is that the ilx SPL massive at work?

A lot of Prem-focused Southerners under the age of 40 or so have probably lost the knack of hating Leeds. There are kids making their debuts this year who weren't even born when they were last in the top flight and they're more known as a byword for disastrous financial mismanagement and lol spying than the Dirty Leeds of old. Doesn't help that Bielsa's Leeds are a lot of fun to watch as well.

Obviously all right thinking people despised them in the early 00s and their relegation in 2004 was entirely deserved.

There's extra layers of hate in the Leeds adjacent North too

West Brom fans' hatred of Villa reaches more comically deranged extremes than Blues ime

Proper just seeming like they're going to explode at all times, "THE ONE AT MY WORK WILL BE GLOATING AFTER THIS RESULT I CAN'T FUCKIN STAND IT I HATE THEM SO MUCH" etc

you quite literally love to see it

It feels a bit attention-seeking idk

"THEY SAY WE'RE OBSESSED WITH THEM BUT THEY'VE GOT A 50 PAGE THREAD ON THEIR FORUM ABOUT HOW FUNNY WE ARE! I REFRESH IT CONSTANTLY TO AN EXTENT THAT ENDANGERS MY JOB"

Our fans are quite awful, of course, but at least they're having a nice time and chilling out for the moment

former ilxor Merdeyeux is a Rangers fan and a sound lad iirc

birmingham should have been relegated to league one about 6 times in recent years. but for a goalkeeping error in the last minute they'd have gone down instead of us this year. they keep surviving. it is hellish

we could have last-game relegated them, they were even down to 10 - it was a shameful day for me. It would have made up for 2002 when that cunt Trevor Francis relegated us on the last day.

What's the level of Forest-hate like these days? My Derby in-laws were happy to see Leicester win the league but Forest still draw hate despite three decade's worth of near uninterrupted failure.

I wasn’t aware that anyone outside the East Midlands ever hated Forest, fwiw.

They used to get a lot of chants about being scab miners at our place as recently as the noughties. But now strike-breakers are probably considered exemplary citizens in the current rotten milieu.

Jonjo Shelvey celebrating with a cupping of the ears and a 'shush' gesture, to an empty stadium against League 2 opposition. Fair play. pic.twitter.com/5hTgV9WUh9

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) September 30, 2020

not seen such a classy player since Lee Hughes

Stoke will randomly do us tonight

Stick the house on it

yeah i'm feeling the same way. pleased Smith isn't chancing anyone we actually care about out there, Traore excepted. still paid down my tenner to watch this nonsense of course, such a sucker.

Anwar El Ghazi is very shit and seems like a prick, i do not like him.

"nothing wrong with the run there from El Ghazi but there was nothing at the end of it" says the anonymous Carabao Cup commentator, neatly summing things up

"here's Elneny for Villa and he has SKIED that", says the anonymous Carabao Cup commentator, and while i think it would be the act of a friend for someone to point out to this guy that El Ghazi has got nothing to do with Egypt whatsoever but is in fact of Moroccan extraction and that he was born in the Netherlands and has represented the Dutch international team in the past (TWICE!!! who the fuck knew?!), I would also hesitate to blame anyone for not knowing the dickhead's name cause he is awwwwwwwwful

here they are, chipper in impending defeat to stoke

if only we could all be thus

that was pretty compelling as an It's a Wonderful Life-style vision of what might have been had that bloke remembered to switch on the goal line tech computer against Sheff Utd last season

turned on liverpool-arsenal and literally the first thing i saw was an arsenal player lying on the ground holding his face. it's pathological at this point

certainly they're ruining football

according to the commentators on the Chelsea Palace game, "the referees have been instructed to be more lenient on the handball rule"

Sort of, but the Newcastle one would still be given until a formal rule change next year

Chilwell smashes one in from about 5 yards out on his debut

Dire game so far though

Ah well

Pickford on fire again

if only

Everton dead certs for the title this season then?

I'd go with 'almost guaranteed safety' at this point.

shameful result

Good game this.

After being hammered for 20mins Leeds don't look overawed here at all.

Last time EFC won seven in a row* from the start of the season, Archibald Primrose was PM. Me neither but he seems *awful*.

* granted three of these have been Carob bar cup and two of those opponents I wasn’t even sure were league sides

Oops, flagrant mixing of asterisks there. That’s probably jinxed it.

He's usually referred to as The Earl of Rosebery, or was when I did politics A level anyway.

The upcoming Merseyside derby could be a top of the table clash, when was the last time that happened?

Cavani to Utd appears to be a thing

Wonderful

Newcastle have now scored from five of their six shots on target this season.

Saint-Maximin has been superb again.

Cavani is such a weird move for Utd. P sure he's moved on to the 'frequently injured' part of his career. Still back in the day he had the best movement of any CF I have ever seen.

Everton and Villa the 2 teams that have improved their starting eleven the most in the close season? Guess perhaps Chelsea but would need to see some evidence that Chillwell/Silva/Mendy will work, though it's hard to imagine they could be worse than what came before.

Breaking | Bayern Munich are in advanced negotiations to sign former PSG attacker Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting, according to @SaberDesfa.

— Get German Football News (@GGFN_) October 4, 2020

"He could bring Sam Allardyce in on a temporary basis"@richardajkeys offers Pep Guardiola some advice on how he could fix @ManCity's leaky defence.#beINPL #PL #LEEMCI 📺 HD11 pic.twitter.com/YcapARFliE

— beIN SPORTS (@beINSPORTS_EN) October 3, 2020

Howard Wilkinson's still alive

Pulis or gtfo.

West Ham are completely bossing this. It’ll be hilarious if they start losing games again when Moyes comes back in person.

well i guess i feel mildly better about last Sunday's result now

what's the opposite of a dead cat bounce, Moyes appears to have invented it

if you lose today it'll be time to worry tbh

If we don't win today I'll start to worry, nervy already

Saiss at wing back, hmmm experimentalism until Rayan Ait Nouri arrives

like Kilman tho, nice to see him get a game

who's that little shit holding his face when he wasn't touched

ah, Podence. sorry NV but he's straight on the twat list

he was touched but i know that's your shtick this season <3

that half was so bad the ref couldn't bear to add any time on

telling myself we're in a transitional phase but idk

he got a charge to his shoulder and held his face! hatred of simulation has always been my shtick but i am going all real-man brexit warrior tis true

if it's the same incident he got a hand across the nose/eye, didn't look much but then all Podence did was wince and clear his nose, ref had already blown

dendoncker with a gruesome facial disfigurement there now ;)

physio having a look. all teeth still present

bit more like it

a fist has been put through the face of fulham's shonky defence

Should be level. Lookman is very dangerous.

He looks a player, incredible surge forward to set up that counter a while back

still out of sorts, good job Kamara had a mare, yeah Lookman was good

think the break might be good for us

Not an impressive victory, but a victory.

Attack is inert af rn

no settled wing backs and not playing an attacking mid to make up for that, there's a bunch of things i suspect but i'd like to think this is a transitional thing like i said. also pretty sure this is more points than we had after 4 games last season so nothing to get worked up about yet

time for the ilx derby folks

lol

lol

welp

I can go back to the cricket earlier than expected.

With back four of Aurier, Sanchez, Dier and Reguilon, I will be amazed if it’s the only penalty they get.

wella wella wella

OOF

sounds like i shd've watched this instead of our game

lol again.

Great game so far

lol

lol at all this

everything about maguire is hilarious

GAME DELIVERS

lol x 3

him and pickford always find the perfect facial expressions to match their many calamities.

United could realistically sign Sancho and Cavani and still not improve this team in any meaningful way.

Greatly enjoyed Kane consciously aiming for Luke Shaw's hand there.

fuck me they've just cut into the 5 Live commentary for a Trumpwatch and the cunt's not even died

Aurier just lost the ball, made a sliding recovery tackle and didn't get booked. All coming up Spurs right now.

Who ordered the extra lols?

Can Coco make an impact today? 👊#THFC ⚪️ #COYS pic.twitter.com/8U1usWKke2

— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) October 4, 2020

sounds like imago will be incensed 😂😂😂

what the fuck

what Lamela did was worse

TAXI FOR MR SOLSKJAER

Amazing.

Ridiculous decision

not that it matters now but that is a fucking disgraceful decision

This isn't the headline by any stretch of the imagination today but Reguilon is brilliant.

why didn't he review the red?

Fuck's sake Robbie Savage making a snivelling confession of his past dives

I have no more lols to give.

Fuck me I thought *I* had a bad Sunday last week

lamela to the gallows

RIP Harry Maguire, it's sad, he was a centre half

i mean what was even going on there

Shaw appeared to be playing CB and Maguire LB

tbf if you give anyone a cheeky slap you're asking for it but the theatrics + the initial elbow should have seen them both go maybe

brighton game last week could easily have been this bad

I wonder if Sky can make the fake crowd noise start ole-ing every pass?

Fuck this for a game of solskjaers, I'm cleaning out the fridge for the rest of day

The amount of room Aurier has at any point is ridiculous. Shaw always seems miles away,

lol

The amount of room Aurier has at any point is ridiculous. Shaw always seems miles away

Our full-backs always tuck in like that. Last week it was Wan-Bissaka

I don't know if it's 'tactical' or they're just stupid

As soon as Aurier and Reguilon were named on the team sheets it was completely obvious what we were going to try and do and fair play it worked.

This has been extremely, extremely amusing

Mourinho is literally never going to stop picking on Luke Shaw is he?

Fuck did Ole really just bring on two holding midfielders at half time when three goals down?

he's a coward to his core

what a lovely goal

some sort of bashing ritual in the celebration there

what the fuck is pogba doing? looks worse with every replay

I don't think I've ever seen anything more embarrassing in football then conceding a penalty because the express train that is Ben Davies is thundering through on goal.

what the fuck is Pogba doing? looks worse with every replay

Nothing to see here, just Maguire fouling his own player then conceding a goal. pic.twitter.com/uaavQdtUil

— ً (@Ifcandreas) October 4, 2020

Completely astonishing to play two games in four days and score thirteen goals.

I can honestly say that's the most embarrassing Utd performance I've seen in the 30+ years I've been watching them

now to see what kind of buffoonery we can perpetrate on deadline day

Evra is saying he wants to quit commenting and that the United players deserve to be slapped.

Evra really isn't taking any prisoners on Sky right now. Absolutely raging.

ole out, evra in

Look I'm saying nothing yet but

Unbelievable miss.

lol

What is going on this season?

Hahahaa

Holy mother of god

klopp out macmanaman in

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

otm

otm

truly this *is* the best league in the world

also i assume we're in the end times

best league in the world

or what he said

i'm frightened lads, have i died? where am i?

what the

This is shambolic. I love it.

What the fuck

The defending from that free kick was extraordinary.

and Barkley is obv the best player in the world

This is what you lose midweek to Stoke for

Let's go fuckin mental

pretty sure i have

itt, some chipper Villans

A Tale of Two Ollies

Don't you just love 'em xp

been a rough year even without COVID complications and can honestly say this is the happiest i can remember being for about 6 months. absolutely ridiculous.

hoping full-time feels likewise

Bear in mind we're one goal away from this being a disaster

lol it'll take more than 45 mins to undo a solid decade of justified pessimism but i am starting to believe that we might not get relegated this season. dare to dream!

Bear in mind we're one goal away from this being a disaster

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Sunday, 4 October 2020 19:17 (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I wish I could post the entire context of this post to footcelsior tbh

Watkins is a serious player isn't he. Just this hold-up play. Not even the goals

Goodness me.

one goal, what a disaster

The least embarrassing turn of events

wahey

He had very good movement in the first two games

Xp compliments to whoever it was that initially carved Ross Barkley from teak

Utd fans' pulse faintly returning

lol wtf, I wish I was a bookie today.

The old gods are dead

oh no

Jamie Carragher fully just stepping in as a management consultant tasked with solving Liverpool's current problem instead of being a co-commentator vs Gary Neville pissily demanding Utd players be sent off for yellow card tackles because he's angry at them

It's gonna be a strange season

game could do with a goal

Just laughing now tbh

Otm this is pretty stodgy stuff

one for the purists

What is happening

My joy at the fact that we get the most exciting and competitive season in years right now when we most need it is just about masking my simmering resentment at Villa for diminishing our achievement by tonking an actually good team.

When have we got Utd at Old Trafford, surely this must be the year

fuck's sake Watkins

you should be thrashing these

Should be double figures.

Watkins should've scored there. You can't waste those kind of chances against Liverpool.

the off-mic groan from Carragher there

OH YOU BEAUTIES

Yes!

klopp out ole in

Good finish, nice result for Villa it looks like

7 (Seven)

The amount of space afforded to Grealish there

Ffs

well there we go

day redeemed

can Villa hang on now is the big question

might even watch MOTD now

i bet we'll be last match on, typical BBC bias

Lmao nv

Whole Liverpool team is one collective brainfart rn

If this goal was rightfully disallowed last season than Villa would have gone down and not be beating us rn, clearly an agenda against us pic.twitter.com/x2W8gJBMH8

— ‎ً (@TheImmortalKop) October 4, 2020

my only regret is that the Beeb laid off Alan Green

"boxing match it would have been stopped"

About 10,100 results (0.22 seconds)

― MPx4A, Tuesday, 1 March 2011 20:52 (nine years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Ruing Watkins hitting the bar, Villans?

Like when Ozil missed the 8-0 vs Brazil then they let in a consolation

Villa's long passing in that game btw was on a completely unbelievable level

Like, there'd be a 70-yard hoof to feet every time

lol just listening to a scouser blaming the rona, priceless!

They can't make me go to work tomorrow, they just can't

They'll understand

lol congrats to the villa crew. actually more optimistic about lfc winning the league than I was at the start of the season. judging by the other teams mid to high 80s pts might suffice for a change from the recent past. lfc have been relying on one vs one defending and Allison a lot for the last 12 months so tonight was kind of a perfect storm.

that said Everton will probably tonk us post int. break unless Pickford helps out.

frantically changing channel so I can continue cursing Graeme Souness at the top of my lungs

"the Beeb laid off Alan Green"

I'd forgotten about this, in retrospect 🎵 it was a very good year 🎵

Yeah he was the worst. Always used to commentate like he hated football.

Mostly David Beckham though

when he said Beckham was one-paced and overrated show me the lie! But still what a horrible pompous boring arsehole.

when Stanley Crouch died the other week my favourite shame the devil and tell the truth obit was: Meh! He was just the Alan Green of Jazz!

Beckham is now underrated

frantically changing channel so I can continue cursing Graeme Souness at the top of my lungs

― Windsor Davies, Sunday, 4 October 2020 21:29 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

"let's not get excited about teams down the bottom" in response to being asked the controversial question of whether Ollie Watkins might turn out to be a good Premier League striker, lovely guy

I know Liverpool hardly covered themselves in glory today and at least two of the goals pinged off defenders but Watkins looks like the real deal based on today. Grealish's last goal was tremendous as well.

Well... frankly I can't get to sleep now even though I'm exhausted and have work in the morning. I'm too keyed up by AVFC's win over Liverpool today (7-2?!?! I'd been happy with a 2-2 draw!!!) and a teaser of some news from Duran Duran (because I am nothing if not stereotypical) to sleep, plus I finally got my laptop to work after months of putting off a much-needed repair job on it so I'm happily using said laptop again and ahhhh, I'm just too excited to sleep but I must!

i was on the road today and completely missed Liverpool.

are Aston Villa gonna be a top table team? 3-0 already.

Gunnersaurus out.

i was on the road today and completely missed Liverpool.

are Aston Villa gonna be a top table team? 3-0 already.

Don't look back you can never look back

Gunnersaurus thing is ridiculous

We will miss you... The club has let u down.... You will be forever in our hearts pic.twitter.com/efTHPhnTiT

— Achal Patel (@achal24296) October 5, 2020

😢

caveman-wielding-a-small-club mentality

Pls @jeremycorbyn can you save Gunnersaurus

— Congolesa Rice (@judeinlondon2) October 5, 2020

Enjoy, Dee!

Will anyone ever actually sign Said Benrahma? Envisaging him repeatedly pricing himself further out of anyone's budget with an escalating series of wondergoals

He's been linked with Palace and he'd improve them but that also seems kind of enh

Manchester United are now in advanced talks to sign Amad Traoré [2002 top talent] from Atalanta on a permanent deal! Deal collapsed with Parma (after announcement) and Man Utd in talks.
Work permit still pending, deal to be completed now or on next January. 🔴 #MUFC #DeadlineDay

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) October 5, 2020

I don't know who he is, but he will save us

...in January

ffs

Not sure an 18-year old winger, even a prodigiously talented one, is really what you need right now.

hard to say though what they do

a really good centre-back might be a start though

Idly wondering if Southgate is enjoying going into the international break with his first choice CB pairing having conceded 13 goals between them yesterday.

the crown has passed to mings and dier

mings should be in the side regardless tbh, he is as the kids say 'levels'

no i am not a villa fan now. merely a new sympathiser. as are half the kids in the playground today

swapsies john mcginn for my kevin de bruyne

Fuck a mascot and all that but also fuck any club making a mascot redundant to save money when they're still buying £20-30m players.
Like furlough the guy until the fans are back. It'll cost a few thousand a year - less than any first team player gets a week.

still paying Ozil 350k a week to do nothing

Exactly, he can wear the dinosaur suit.

consternation amongst the junior fans as Gunnersaurus goes missing for several games at a time

Gunnersaurus and Erdogan suddenly BFF's

Hahaha

footcelsiors all round

after Sarr now apparently

panic button well and truly pressed

A propos of nothing, of all the shit that's happened in football post-Covid, I'm not sure anything has weirded me out more than Ashley Young being capable of growing hair all along

Beginning to worry about the total lack of any evidence that Werder Bremen winger Milot Rashica is being teleported to Bodymoor Heath for a medical with a view to becoming part of the most cataclysmically devastating front four in the Western hemisphere

What a shit week

as i've already implied, it's the luiz/mcginn double pivot that really gets me. how did that almost get relegated

McGinn was badly injured most of the season and wasn't really back to his best til last couple of games this season, Luiz took a long time to settle and figure out how much time he does/doesn't have on the ball at this level - his appearing to figure it out post lockdown was a big contributing factor to us staying up imo

sorry Biscuits

Bild expect Milot Rashica’s move from Werder Bremen to Bayer Leverkusen to be announced shortly. #SVW #B04 #AVFC

— Ronan Murphy (@swearimnotpaul) October 5, 2020

All this talk about United's defence needing improvemt but only Liverpool (33) and city (35) conceded less goals than United (36) in the league last season...
Morgan

I mean, he's got a point. Lot of fuss about nothing really

Hearing reports that Bayer Leverkusen's director of football dropped the paperwork for Rashica down a drain at 17:59 local time, and that Rashica himself subsequently turned out to be a child sitting on another child's shoulders wearing a big coat