Love Letters for Fall: LGBTQIA+ // 2020

❤️You🧡know💛what💚to💙do!💜

I know what I haven't been doing!

Boyyyyyyyyy don’t i know it

I just had a therapy session with my therapist, she is a lesbian and she told me today that I am also a lesbian

Heyyyyyyyy!

Based on your lists of best and worst alcohols, O, I can’t say we’d ever be ordering the same thing. (I do like the corpse revivers tho.)

Yeah, well, my tastes are very specific.

My birthday cocktail is a Black Velvet-- half-Guinness, half-crémant. You'd like it. Good cocktail for lunch on New Year's Day.

Also my therapist specifically said I was a "U-Haul lesbian", by which she means, a man only needs to show me a little attention and I'm ready to buy a house together

My ex-ltr (we broke up 4.5 years ago, now) got mad at me last week. "You just fall in love with anybody!!!!"

Love a UHAUL lezz, one of the most lovely kinds of people
Also LOVE Guinness creamante
☆(❁‿❁)☆ Eric congratulations on your union!!! ♡＾▽＾♡

Hi queers!

We’re still living with my in-laws, as there is basically no excuse not to at the moment (both of our jobs are currently done online). My university just had a COVID outbreak anyway, so for the first time since this all started I’m fine with not being on campus. I am teaching a course in January (online, probably) called Gay Life in the 21st Century, so even though 2020 has been a pile of garbage at least I have that to look forward to.

CONGRATS ERIC

Nice cryps!!!

It’s times like this I wish I were in academia, what a salve is learning

Yes, congratulations, Eric!!!!

I currently can't decide if I should keep going on dates with nice men
Or if I should investigate getting back together with my ex-ltr. His desires for this are telegraphed, but not explicitly stated-- he has an avoidance problem. If we did get back together, we'd be 2.5 years away from our 20th anniversary

Missed the news above (?), but congrats Eric!

Hmmmmmmm
To me my gut instinct says you should see more than one person at this time

Thanks all! (Crypto, got married last week and have been floating on some truly boring domestic bliss in the aftermath. Tho after the ceremony my sister, who is married, asked me if I felt any different and I said "Honestly, no." which was fantastic to realize.)

Love it
Happiness house!

How are my brothers and sisters doing today?

On campus for the first time since March. It feels therapeutic but odd to sit in the library's first floor unable to check out books myself (we have an online reservation system). I came here as much for the eye candy, though there ain't much of it; we suspended most of our face-to-face teaching (my own courses are remote or online).

I had dinner with an itinerate member of our sewing circle last night.

OK it sounds like you’re reacclimating which is good. Bound to be loads of emotions. Now when you say dinner, what do you mean exactly? Lol. Like outdoor dining?

Well how the fuck was everyone’s weekend?

I had a perfectly low-key weekend and was overdue for it tbh.

Is it too early to start watching horror movies for Halloween?

I had gay sex! It was good, if you haven’t tried it yet I recommend it

Also I watched a couple of horror faves this week— The Descent, Let The Right One In

OK it sounds like you’re reacclimating which is good. Bound to be loads of emotions. Now when you say dinner, what do you mean exactly? Lol. Like outdoor dining?

― surm, Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Oh yeah. I haven't seen the inside of a restaurant or man since March.

We legit drank beer, got high, and made beats and watched Star Trek Voyager all weekend.

I married the right man in other words lol

Omg
U make beats!?
Ummmmmm also THE DESCENT
all . time . fav .

Definitely not too soon for the Halloween flicks

Yeah! I love The Descent. I love Dog Soldiers, too, "I'm the original bitch from hell" moment aside. I really wish Neil Marshall had kept making amazing movies

Still on the sick list, and not drinking (also not my choice).

i've been sober for six months and i'm at a point where i miss getting drunk but i can't go back tbh. i went to a friend's party on saturday night - we were the first people to get there at 8:30 and i begged off at 10:15. this is because i get up at 5:30 on weekdays and fuck man i hate staying up later than 10 it ruins me.

i slept more than 14 hours saturday night and sunday, it was amazing.

my first sexual experience was as a college student in New Hampshire. I was staying at the farmhouse of one of my professors who lived across the river in Vermont. I went down to the lake below the house and a hot guy was swimming naked there. He asked me to take off my swimsuit so he could try it on. I knew it was a provocative request but I was mesmerized by him and complied, and he showed himself off for me, stuffing himself into my trunks

at his direction we back into the bushes and got off together. it was innocent, and he wasn’t much more experienced than me,
but it was super hot

wow!

I adore stories that, depending on the telling, would be just as at home in a queer YA novel as in a gay porn film.

going to be spending christmas with my boyfriend in palm springs at one of the older clothing-optional places and am very much looking forward to it. no children!!!

Um. Call me crazy, but there will probably still be a pandemic then, right?

yes

Palm Springs seems like a utopia to me, I have memories of great experiences there

ftr i think we can do it reasonably safely. the resort is like 10 rooms, they don't do day passes, we're going to be keeping to ourselves or socializing from a distance in the outdoor pool area. not going to get up close and personal with anybody. we're driving there. not going out to any bars or anything because i don't drink. we might drive to the beach for a day trip.

i've had mixed experiences in palm springs, mostly due to my own instabilities, but am coming around to the fact that i really do love being around other aging bougie gays every once in a while and wouldn't mind being "that couple" who goes yearly. it's relatively affordable and close. and NO KIDS. i live in utah, they are everywhere all the time.

My dad's cousin just moved to Palm Springs. He's, I think, 53 years old and I am sort of annoyed he's there FT that early in life.

map, I'm sorry my post was a bit bitchy! I totally get it. Hell, I'm going camping next week with a few friends.

I guess for some reason I just associate Palm Springs with getting all my holes filled multiple times a day lol.

haha no i get it, no worries, sorry my "yes" was also a little bitchy ;)

Hi queers

Life has been fairly plain, my boyfriend and I a bit of a rough spot recently where he broke one of the rules of our open relationship and was defensively unapologetic abt it because he didn’t remember agreeing to the rule and didn’t understand the point of it, but we had a very nice long discussion about it a few days ago and I was able to explain it in a way he (finally) understood and he was v understanding and apologetic and we are in a much better place

We’ve been together for... 2.5 years?? And I think the distance is becoming more challenging (him in Boston and me in Philly and one of us visiting the other roughly once a month), and is at sort of an impasse where neither of us “can” (read: are willing to) move to the other’s city or to a new one, logistically it would be incredibly challenging for either of us in a way that could very likely tank the relationship. So we’re just continuing on, though I sense he feels like we’ve grown to the fullest extent that we can from afar and we can’t really get closer staying this far apart, like a “what are we doing/where do we go” type thing.

A month or two ago he got really depressed and was pushing me away a bit, and speaking really fatalistically in a way that suggested he didn’t know how to move forward and wanted to break things off, it fucked me up really hard and I basically processed it like an actual breakup, like really seriously head-on coming to terms with what it would be like to be single again, how we would decouple, what life would be like without him as a romantic partner, etc., so even though things are back on track and great, I’ve already sort of grieved our breakup in a way where if things really are on the outs and this isn’t sustainable, I am in a much, much better place to process it should it occur. We’ve also reaffirmed our deep love for each other and desire to remain close no matter what, which also helps.

So I am feeling quite zen about it, I hope and expect we’ll stay together for a while but I understand reasons why we may not and am prepared for that if it happens

I’ve been listening to a fuckton of Underground Resistance/The Martian/etc, playing Okami for PS2, and working my way through my list of horror films for October, which I already started like a week ago (Pulse was excellent and truly horrifying, Inferno was such a special delight, Ghostwatch was fun, Evil Dead 2 was so good and I cannot believe I’ve never seen it before, and the first 3 Friday the 13ths are truly garbage). I also started a new job a few months ago which despite some challenges continues to be largely wonderful and incredibly gratifying

hi, Stevie!

Hi Stevie! Have been hoping you've been doing okay.

Hi queers, I'm just popping in briefly because I think I have the best chance of catching FGTI here, and I don't want to derail a thread that's back on topic again.

FGTI, I'm sorry I brought up a ton of overly personal stuff WRT fandom and stuff, that was out of line for me.

You stepped on a sore spot for me, and I didn't try hard enough to be kind, I just stepped on a sore spot right back. That's re-brought-up unpleasantness for several people, and that wasn't right of me. I apologise.

Hope you are doing OK.

Hi queers! Hi Branwell and no it's no sweat!

Yesterday I went to a Titty Chop party (my friend is getting his tits cut off next week). Everyone in their bubble has diverse dietary restrictions, so I made FOUR LASAGNAS so that all diets were respected. It was my first time making either meat-free bolognese and/or dairy-free bechamel/parmesan. It all went great-- even the "ethical lasagna" tasted really nice. Also, my cooking was efficient, I love that for me

Titty Chop! Of all the euphemisms I've heard, that's one of the best.

'4 queers = 4 different diets' is so Queer Life 2020s. Meat-free bolognese was a great challenge you rose to well.

Like 90% of my queer friends are vegans, but the queerest thing I did all week was treat myself to a new leather... suit. Because life is short and death is certain and god knows when any of us are getting laid again so one might as well *feel* sexy while one can? But I think that my friends are usually quite torn between 'must not kink shame, ever' and also 'your kink is... DEATH. You are wearing DEATH, that is so un-vegan and not-queer' and I find that kinda funny in a shameful way LOL oh dear

Yeah, like, "hey vegans you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar" except then you remember honey isn't vegan.

hey vegans you’ll catch more flies with certified fair-trade agave nectar than vinegar

That reminds me that I want to make this vegan bol-nyay-zay recipe

https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/02/pasta-rich-hearty-mushroom-bolognese-recipe.html

fuck
I just saw tza’s FB post abt Morbz
I feel lucky to have met him
He had a wonderful and genuine soul.
RIP Morbz, you will live on with us
Fuck.

I treasure the moment at Julius'.

I also remember fondly my last meeting with him...which was at Julius, but not with any of you. Very sad this morning.

When I was new to the board and going under a different username, I would lurk the gay threads (as they were called at the time) sheepishly waiting for a point where I could jump in to what was observably a tight-knit group. When I finally got up the nerve to post, Morbs responded with a delightfully raunchy greeting, complete with an image that I'm sure tested some community guidelines. I'll always remember that.

💜
Despite his groucho reputation, he was a man of heart. I always felt that from him

just heard about morbz on Twitter via Alfred’s eulogy(?remembrance?) and felt compelled to drop in even though I haven’t been a regular here in forever.

fuck cancer
RIP Morbz
Love to all of you wonderful queers xx

I’ve basically just been working a lot from home and then not from home and now from home again and living in queerantine and interacting mostly with my cat.

can’t tell if I’m being overcautious but diabetes and COVID aren’t something one wants to mix together so even though I miss hanging out with queers and friends and am more constantly conscious of how single I am than I’ve been in years, it’s probably for the best. but whenever this is over the stir crazy self isolation might finally prompt me to start dating again after avoiding it for way too long.

anyway I finally remembered what Zing was called and downloaded it to my new phone so I guess I’m back

yay I'm glad you're back
I blinked w emotion to see you posting here tbh, hi Alex

The odd thing that I loved about Morbs, and I told Stevie abt it over text was that it seemed as if he was always, always pulling the hottest men, even when he was starting to get sick he was still getting some

Hi Alex. Really nice to see you

Xp that is amazing
A life 2 aspire to
Alex!! Hi old friend

welcome back, Alex. A delight.

[Edited out anything negative I was feeling and typing] I made really nice vegetarian sausage-pepper tagliatelle for a dude I've been seeing, he is having a really hard sad day so I told him a funny joke. Here's the joke:

Man 1: Hey, guess what I have in my pocket
Man 2: Nah I don't wanna play this game
Man 1: Oh come on, I'll give you a hint, it begins with the letter N
Man 2: Hm. Let me think. Is it a napple?
Man 1: No, it's not a napple
Man 2: Is it a norange?
Man 1: No, not a norange, either
Man 2: OK, hmm... is it a nonion?
Man 1: Nope, wrong again
Man 2: Well, I'm just never gonna guess it. What is it?
Man 1: It's a negg

Wait am i being stupid for not getting it??!?

That pasta sounds amazing....

Joke might be funnier when you hear it from the original source:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywezlvr60q0&t=11m0s

hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywezlvr60q0&t=11m0s

I giggled at the joke! I don’t entirely know if I got it but it was funny. I also may be going quarantine qrazy again.

I did finally take a night off tonight and watched that new gay live-streaming play that people on Twitter have been all atwitter about? CIRCLE JERK? It was funny and good, I think, but I might need to see it again to fully wrap my head around what its final thoughts were about what it was satirizing. A lot of references that went over my head because I’m not online enough but it didn’t impede my ability to enjoy it and it was very gay.

So! When's the last time you single people had sex? For me, it's FDR's third term.

Right around the time Bathsheba toweled off.

Good to see some old familiar names here, btw!

Right around the time Bathsheba toweled off.

― On average, this critic grades 8.3 points lower than other critics (Eric H.),

Eve, this is Addison.

So! When's the last time you single people had sex? For me, it's FDR's third term.

I guess my new goal is sometime in 2021 for both seeing friends and meeting guys. Hopefully we don’t need to keep this up until 2022 because by then I may be expecting my cat to answer me instead of just talking to it.

All of my single friends irl found people on dating websites within a few weeks of lockdown, quarantined appropriately, then moved in with those people. Not advisable, necessarily, but I thought it interesting.

lol oh god what a recipe for disaster

Dis azz ter.

idk if I have mentioned this (probably?) but the incredibly silly and fun shoestring-budget drag queen slasher that my boyfriend's film festival programmed is screening online again and it keeps winning awards at every festival it plays at and even got an AV Club writeup, it's really fun and you should all see it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0xO1q4UQA4

https://xerb.tv/channel/sacramento-horror-film-festival/virtual-events/740

https://hyperallergic.com/596290/loving-a-photographic-history-of-men-in-love-1850s-1950s/

I've had more/better sex this year than ever, in my life, tbh.

It's hard to describe what I'm about to describe. I think COVID has created in people-who-aren't-having-sex an immense resentment toward people-who-are-having-it. Meanwhile, people-who-are-having-sex are beset with the same universal awful anxieties that COVID is creating-- loneliness, financial precarity, loss of family members, etc-- and so the sex-havers and looking at the no-sex-havers and saying "guys getting some dick on the daily is really only marginally improving my terrible year"

Lol

I don't know if romance is a life enhancer or not but I know it has sought me ought lately. Keep trying to let it down easy.

what

How are you Jed?

How’s everybody holding up?

i'm getting a little toasty wfh. tell me about the romance that has sought you out surm.

I'm trying to imagine myself hooking up thru OKCupid with a Cool Dude and living together for the next several months.

lol

Ooooooooh. Lol. I’m totally into that fantasy. I am in a similar fantasy with the romance that found me in Virginia. A good friend of one of my oldest friends, and the feeling like, he was meant to be there when I was there because I needed his energy. We all got drunk on the phone last night, I got major butterflies and probably sounded like a total ass. I want to see him again soon but I don’t want to act a fool. 😮✨🦋🧜‍♀️💕🧤🍀☃️❄️☂️🍕🎧🧩✈️

Also I get my passport soon and I want to plan a trip to Aruba. All by my fucking self. Thoughts?

The idea of travelling is so distant for me right now

My parents want me to go out west for Christmas (i.e. drive out) and I'm... pretty sure I'll just be roasting a chicken for a couple friends again this year

The idea of being on a plane right now is positively terrifying.

We hardly let people we know into our house.

My husband and I are now just starting to talk about maybe taking a plane to California in March or April. Even that seems too soon.

i flew home and back recently... honestly i found it fine. i would recommend an airline like delta that doesn't sell middle seats and booking a seat in the back of the plane. also getting tested before you leave and a few days after you land. states like new york that aggressively track travelers coming in from certain states haven't (to my knowledge) traced outbreaks back to flying, tho it's still reliant on self-reporting of symptoms, tests, self-quarantining etc. if you/ppl close to you aren't at increased risk and mentally the idea of flying feels doable, i think you can feel ok about it.

Hi LGBTQIAs. Pour one out for Bill tonight.

❤️ I will poor one out
You hanging in Kev?

Hi surm! Yes, I am. Not much sleep, stomach aches, tears, etc. But lots of joy today even if some of it is bittersweet. How are you, boo?

I hear you. I hope you will try to take good care of yourself this winter and surround yourself with friends.
You know what, I’m a little lost these days but i also love my new bedding so can’t complain. it is nice to c you ::)

Also geez now you guys got me scared about flying, I didn’t think I was being so cavalier! Gonna go with Jordan’s words of wisdom

I have traveled a few times during COVID: A plane to Boston in April, a plane back home in July, and then Amtrak to Boston and back a few weekends ago. Between data on air ventilation in plane and train cabins (the air is fully exchanged every 2-5 minutes w fresh outside air) plus the relative scarcity of outbreaks traced back to air/train travel, I felt cautiously OK with it, though it's not something I want to do regularly. All 4 trips were pretty undersold, you had the whole row to yourself and there weren't that many people around you, though I've heard from multiple sources that planes are getting fuller and fuller, which makes me skittish. I was going to go back up for Thanksgiving but have scrapped my plans with the current uptick in cases, and will instead be going for a few weeks over Christmas.

I mean, I should also say that I will always be slightly immunocompromised because of the cancer bout, so I am taking precautions more seriously than some others might need to.

I dunno if this belongs in a US Politics thread or elsewhere, but the past 24 hours have been really nuts. The world looks different, like, I feel as if this awful psychological malaise of the past four years has been slowly but perceptibly dissipating.

Moments enter into my head like faded memories of awful past relationships-- remember when Melania plagiarized Michelle? remember Sean Spicer?-- shit like that. I genuinely feel as if the past four years have been like some kind of psychosis-inducing nightmare.

Anyway I'm cleaning my house today, listening to Deerhunter, and putting gut strings on my violin for a change of pace

Yes, nightmare is the word. Lots of feelings for sure. Like fuck. The last for years ACTUALLY HAPPENED. it wasn’t an evil SNL skit!

(And yes tabes that makes total sense)

Yeah i went to the park yesterday and everyone who was there was looking around like “did we all just wake up from the same nightmare?”

We legit met two of our best friends at the abandoned golf course and sat in the sun for hours, lighter than any of us have felt in years. And we all identify as radical leftists and hate Biden! It really was a beautiful day for it to go down.

My favorite was the Jezebel headline

“Coherent Adult President Speaks Sensical Words to American People for the First Time in 4 Years”

to paraphrase a friend: "our long national nightmare is finally over! now, onto the next nightmare!"

Biden/Harris: New Nightmare

yeah :|

so this is kind of related i guess but i just need to vent somewhere about facebook drama (i know). my boyf is long-time friends with this girl i'll call betsy. i hung out with betsy once over a weekend irl and she was very funny and nice. several months ago she posted some delicately racist thing on facebook, i got up in her comments questioning her, she took offense, i apologized for my tone, she seemed really mad that i called her out. i can't even remember the details anymore. anyway i made some dumb post today about centrist democrats ruining everything and she basically told me i was a moron for believing that politics has any effect on anything at all and that i don't know anything about how the world works. i told her in a pm that her comment hurt, that i thought we were friends but that i don't do name-calling (i know, a little rich from me), wished her the best and blocked her. my read on her is that she is a gen-x ex-mormon who has been through a lot of trauma and bullshit due to her family and abusive ex-husbands but is still fundamentally closed off to the outside world, very much sheltered, has never encountered or sought out cultural or racial diversity in her life and is still attached to a lot of reactionary beliefs. a lot of that might be inaccurate or unfair idk but i just.. can't really excuse her comments, you know? my boyfriend, who generally agrees with me about politics (we have had a lot of discussions, poor guy), considers her a "sister". they aren't constantly in each others lives or anything, but they have known each other for twenty years, and he says he loves her and he's sad that she would say that to me. i'm pretty sure i don't like betsy though - her behavior is total anathema to me. so we agreed that me blocking her was for the best and that if she chooses to keep their relationship going, i would be fine with that, that if she eventually apologizes to me, i would accept it, but that we might not all be friendsies and that vague plans we had talked about re: her staying with us were probably off the table. both he and i are absolutely fine with that and supportive of each others' choices which is great. and i'm glad i'm no longer friends with this person who is probably ten years older than me (grown-ass!) and is racist and randomly attacks a generic complain-y post i make on facebook. i love my boyfriend but there is a small part of me that's disappointed that this person he's close with .. behaves so poorly. oh well, people are complicated and i've never been in a relationship with someone who is so ok with setting boundaries when they need to be set, that is a big important part of what's making this relationship so solid rn, and this boundary seems like a relatively clear-cut one that should be easy to set and forget. anyway, just needed to get that out somewhere.

Good for you. We’re at a point where people need to learn the hard way. It sounds like you guys understand and empathize with one another, and it sounds like he doesn’t shy away from hard practical decisions, which to me is one of the sexiest things. Also you could have been way harsher so don’t lose any sleep.

I feel you on this. One of my oldest friends from college and her boyfriend have been saying some weird shit... It’s the third time she’s been describing where she lives and she’s had to call out someone’s race to do it. Once in talking about her neighbor who is loud and disrespectful she ‘s like “well, he’s Asian ...” and that was it. No idea how that’s relevant. Another time we were walking into her building and this guy asked us a question about the front door and she was all weirded out. later when she told her boyfriend about it she was like, “this Asian guy didn’t know what he was doing” .... like zzzz you’re boring me pet and you were a poly sci major at Smith so not sure what’s up. Also her bf didn’t vote bc .... the whole system is fucked anyway! Well there’s a new one you sheltered fuck! Ok yup anger issues sorry anyway yeah BUH-LOCK

Haha. Yeah, people need to either 1) not be racist or 2) not be in our lives.

That’s what I’m thinking

And really i mean people should be anti-racist because i know for me it has been and will continue to be a process

Word
PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST today y'all

I was an anti-racist before, but my partner has done a lot of training me in that regard, since he is of ambiguous ethnic appearance, and often is mistaken for ethnicities he is not. He comes from southern Italian and Chinese stock, so he has darker skin than many Chinese people...let's just say that when we lived in California, people assumed he spoke Spanish. Hell, the first time I took him home, I thought he was a weird goth cholo because of all his gnarly tattoos.

In any case, the strangest thing about our families is that his white mother and stepfather are Trump voters, and he hardly talks to them. They're awful people. His Chinese dad and indigenous Hawaiian stepmom are amazing, but they're so far away from us. So it's just my parents as nearby family, and they are lovely, but have had to be trained over the years, too, particularly my mom. Dad is a leftist at this point.

Long story short: good for you for putting boundaries on idiot racists, and good for your boyfriend for understanding.

ty

🤍 Happy Friday
Love u guys

back at you, take care of yourself this weekend. ready to be a house-bound do-nothing slug myself.

had an emotional morning after having That Dream where i yell at my parents

O no. I’ve definitely had those dreams. Weirdly I had a Very Good family moment this weekend, which is pretty rare and surprisingly uplifting

Was your morning at least cathartic?

yes i lifted a bunch of weights :). glad you had a nice family moment.

now i'm running down the clock at work

Damn I just realized today was Friday
Bummer

Why bummer bb?
map how much do u lift?

i'm finally at 315 for squats

Well fuck! Nice. I have to pick up some kind of routine again, I was doing push-ups every morning and then I was just like, nope

Soooooooooooo i’ve been nonstop texting and jamming music over the phone with this guy from Virginia, this is the first time I’ve met someone i jive with like this since I met my boyfriend all those years ago and it’s… Freaking me out

I m like ... Not ready

does he live in virginia? how did you find him?

He does. One of my best friends lives there, and he’s been a super close friend of hers for years now. I’ve hung out with him a number of times but for some reason when I visited her over Halloween it was the first time I seen him since I was single and it was just like I needed to see him, it was uncanny

And also I shouldn’t even be thinking this hard about it, I am NOT that girl right now

lol

🤪 what’s funny is that I just finished a song about how I’m falling for a guy but I know deep down it’s too soon, it was a fictional piece but looks like I made my nightmares come true

Wassup tonight mappy

I've always had a really hard time reading the people that I've been interested in. In retrospect it seems like there's a fine line between over-eagerness and dismissal and I feel like I've so often been on the wrong side of that line on both sides

you seem grounded surm

💙 I totally understand what you’re saying, and I gotta tell you that being grounded is not a familiar feeling to me so I’m enjoying it while it lasts

I think my own projection often obscured a real understanding of where the person I was interested in was coming from. I wish I had realized that then, it would have been helpful

You’re walking around in my brain. I know that now but boy did I fuck that up way too many times

Very angry at my guy right now, he's being an absolute asshole, just need to type that here to get it out! Please continue scrolling.

Noooooo! You’re definitely not the only one who’s getting into fights with their loved ones. You guys able to resolve things?

gl table

my cat is snuggling with me on the couch atm

I can’t believe I don’t have a dog or a cat in my life right now

Snuggling with the pup.

Everything okay here. Just had to hash it out.

Oh good so glad
I will say that’s one of the things I do not miss about being in a couple, those fights wd tear me apart
But it is worth it for the right person 🤩

my third ltr is proving to be the least fight-y

Excellent. I was just thinking today if I happen to wind up in a relationship again it will be my number one goal to not have shouting matches

Hardly ever shouting matches, tbh. Mostly just little disagreements and smoldering anger and processing.

same here

although...i did actually scream in the heat of an intense talk last week. tbh i've had a lot of smoldering anger about a lot of things lately and haven't really had an outlet for it and it all just sorta bubbled up to the surface. i don't feel great admitting it, and i still feel shitty about having done it.

I'm in a good (avoidant) place with regard to fighting, but part of it is probably due to my being on absolute pins and anxious needles for the last 10 months.

Had good sex today tho, fwiw.

Nice!! Honeymooners u

JG don’t beat yourself up. I’ve been there way too many times to count. Be kind to yourself and let yourself process why you think it got there, it’ll take a couple of days.

Instances of smoldering anger have subsided significantly as the pandemic has gone on, to be frank. There just isn't as much to be upset about, and anything I am upset about seems pretty insignificant.

Yes pandemia is definitely beating trivialities and not-so-trivialities into submission for sure

Happy Thanksgiving’s eve sweetums
What’s the plan?

Happy Thanksgiving’s eve sweetums
What’s the plan?

IT’S ALMOST WINTER

I dreamed I bumped into a rather cute music writer whom I haven't met during normal times. I was better looking than he thought, for he kept flirting with me and I kept him swatting his comments aside, nervous about the girlfriend about to leave. When she left, we sat on the couch, and he said, "It's about time" and we start making out.

I'd forgotten the dream until I saw his photo on Instagram.

i was typing out a post about himbos of christmas past but i deleted it.

I had a dream the other night about two hook-ups I had many years ago. It was...something.

i got heated last night / this morning remembering this guy, his name was bl4k3 y3l4v1ch, who i hooked up with in the showers at a 24 hour fitness. he was like 6'3, built like a linebacker with a gigantic schlong. that was going to be my himbos of christmas past post and now i guess it's been resurrected. anyway it was fun to reminisce about him with my boyfriend, it turns out we're both in the bl4k3 y3l4v1ch club, but he took him in a sling at a sex party. anyway!!

Uh, you mean the erotic photographer who takes photos of musclebound twinks and leather cowboys?

hahahahaha

i didn't know he was so well known

read that sentence as "I didn't know he was so well hung."

lol, i definitely knew that part

map, I used to model in pr0n, I know everyone's names.

or at least, their "stage" names lol

haha, that's awesome

i wish we were at some kind of party and i could press you for stories.

anyway, the bf is on the same page as me wrt not celebrating christmas, so it's basically a 5 day long break for me, which i'm really looking forward to. wishing all the readers of this thread peace and all that (and if you don't like xmas as much as i don't like it, it will be over soon). take care of yourselves!

Likewise, map. Someday!

best to you and the bf.

thanks table, to you and yours too

Glad to hear from you all, I trust you are all on your way to a restful New Year’s! We’ll debate who starts the winter thread in due time 💋💋💋

This is my second year in a row spending Christmas with no family! But also my second year in a row doing a breakneck scoring job for a Sundance submission, so I think it'll be easier this year.

Oh I don't have much gay to report. I've been thinking about how gay men act shitty and then accuse people of "slut shaming" them when they are told they've been acting shitty. If you are trying to fuck my boyfriend behind my back, i.e., you're not being a slut! you're just being shitty! shame on you! I am shit-shaming you, not slut-shaming you

lol otm

I need to remember what "boyfriend," "slut-shaming," and, especially, "gay men" mean next year.

I need to remember what lol and otm mean next year.

Omg don’t get me started on slut shaming
Shit shaming otm

Who wants to start a winter thread?