How do you know if someone fancies you?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Okay! Not to appear desperate or anything!

What signs should I look out for? Body language? Words said? Are museums good places to pick up chicks? (just kidding, but seriously are they?) How long should eye contact last? How do you let people know you fancy them?

So, the mechanics of fancying...

― jel, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hmm...the right amount of winks and wryly suggestive comments, based on my experience. But that's just a start. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ask them

― anthony, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The longing, meaningul glance. Or read person in question's diary.

― matthew, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh Anthony I wish it were that easy (for me!)

― jel, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What about INTERWEB FANCYING eh?

Museums: well, if you start talking to a complete stranger in a museum on anything other than a practical what's the time/when does this shut basis, then you are pretty much giving the game away I'd have thought.

― Tom, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If a bird winked at me any more times than none I'd be fucking worried. If anyone winked at me any more times than none I'd be fucking worried. I'm shit at that whole "eye contact" thing - tend to turn it into the whole "staring at someone" thing when drunk. The other night this girl was looking at me and I was looking at her but I'd had perhaps SEVEN too many glasses of shandy and I ended up staring at her. She didn't break the eye contact so we were just staring at each other for about two minutes. I think by that point I may have looked like a serial killer.

― Greg, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There goes that approach! :)...I had it planned like this, study hard, sit in museum, look approachable, wait for pretty girl to approach, and proceed to show her around the museum and impress her with my knowledge or go to cafe, try and avoid talking about Megadeth or Transformers...not gonna work is it?...I feel like Wyle E Coyote sometimes, back to the drawing board! :)

― jel, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Talk to more than one person. Start off talking to a really ugly bird then move on to the one you fancy. She'll think that's just what you do and not assume that you LOVE HER.

― Greg, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

avoiding talking about Transformers and Megadeth = dud.

Other place which is supposed to be pulling meccas: supermarkets. Has anyone on this board ever pulled anyone in a supermarket?

― Tom, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Supermarkets are the next place on my list!

― jel, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Greg, good idea, I may not give up on the museum approach after all!

― jel, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I call Tom's attention to the one track on the _Happy Listener's Guide to Mind Control_ about pulling in museums -- you *did* download all that, I trust. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You are all mentalists. I do nothing but watch TV, naturally, and many famous people as a result are in LOVE WITH ME. Sylvia Kristel, Trevor MacDonald, even Jools Holland. They wink at me most nights. I mean some of them do: Jools Holland is not on most nights, so how he could wink on the ones when he wasn't there? Hey?! Tell me that!! Hey!!! Hullo? HULLO!!??

― mark s, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Don't EVER talk to a mutual acquaintance about it. I once did this and was told the things I wanted to hear, which, er, turned out not to be true. Actually, this has happened a few times, do I just have bad luck?!

― Bill, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Women love to hear about Megadeth and Transformers. It makes them all horny like.

I've never pulled in a supermarket, but I've flirted in laundry rooms a lot. Something about the piles of underwear and the ability to be suave and deferential ("of course you can use this dryer. I'll just wait." *beaming smile*).

― Dave M., Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Just wait until they open the National museum of transformers and megadeth (with loads of lottery lolly).
You will instantly become a babe magnet.

― Billy Dods, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"famous people as a result are in LOVE WITH ME. Sylvia Kristel, Trevor MacDonald... "

Hmph. And all this time I thought it was me that Trevor luvved!

― DavidM, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No need to fight about it, chaps. Trevor's got more enough love to go round and he ain't stingy with it neither.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do not take a hint from blushing. That is not a sign.
So how DO you let people know you fancy them? Shy ones? Loud ones are not troublesome, but shy ones are really hard to read.

― Lyra, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

... was going to say, if you think someone likes you, they probably do ... then remembered this no-joke conversation: X: 'When I went out last night, all these girls tried to pick me up.' M:'Oh really? Were they asking you for your phone number and stuff?' X: 'No, they were just crowding round me.' M: 'So, were they trying to get you to talk to them?' X:'No, not exactly ... but they were trying to get my attention.' M: 'How?' X:'Well, they were exposing their breasts to me and stuff like that.' M: 'Exposing their breasts?! Really?! You mean like lifting up their tops?' X:'No, but they were wearing things and you could see part of their breasts.' ... but provided you have normal low self-esteem and don't have paranoid schizophrenia, if you think a girl likes you, she probably does.

― maryann, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Take your friend for a walk on a hot beach one day, he'll convince himself he has a harem by the end of the stroll.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If the guy jumps on you and starts humping you. Seriously, I mean, REALLY, you don't notice it? Me neither. :-) I am quite sure that my neighbour fancies me. But he's much too goodlooking.

― nathalie (nathalie), Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

How to tell if someone fancies you? Have you been receiving strange gifts through the post? Mysterious heavy breathing phone calls? Is there someone wearing night vision specs outside your house most nights? Well, then, someone fancies you. Congratulations!

Alternatively you can bore your friends to tears... 'do you think he likes me? do you? no really?' until they say yes to shut you up.

― Emma, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I really do wish I knew the answer to this question

― cabbage, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think maryann is spot on - assume everyone fancies you, unless you have some kind of psychotic illness, in which case question your assumptions.

I once watched that programme about flirting school, which suggested mirroring all their movements if you fancy someone. So if you catch someone freaking you out by doing this they probably fancy you but have had to resort to watching TV programmes about flirting so prob. not a good catch.

― Nick, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is that not also how to succeed in a job interview? These advice people sure are lazy.

― Tom, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Getting a job, getting a girl, what's the difference?

― Nick, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So "pulling" now means getting a new job, and having to "sign on" when you can't get a girl I guess means something else too.

― Martin, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

unfortunately, experience has shown, that i know when someone fancies me, when someone else, well after the fact, says something like "i can't believe you didn't go for that girl, she was really into you". what? she wasn't, was she? damn!

― gareth, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two weeks pass...

There's an edge to the fancier; there's a bit of awkwardness there. Also a kind of momentum to stay connected and keep things moving. Just play a little aloof with someone you suspect fancies you and see what happens. You'll get your answer straightaway.

George in California

― George Vecchio, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Getting a job, getting a girl, what's the difference?
The first gets you money at the end of the month. The latter costs you loadsa money.

― nathalie, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two weeks pass...

okay well. the reason i know when boys fancies me is caos thery TELL ME i fancy yu Chasimno

― chasimino, Saturday, 22 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two months pass...

Greg - your serial killer routine absolutely cracked me up! I sat here at work laughing so hard that snot dripped out of my nose, caked against my trousers and crystallised.

― Kodanshi, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Some day, someone will invent a simple litmus test, a piece of paper which, when applied to the skin of the person in question, detects the presence of hormonal signals, and deduces whether or not they fancy you.

Think of the wasted effort and sleepless nights and endless puppydogeye conversations with annoyed friends that this would prevent...

Then again, I suppose it would lose its effectiveness if a really attractive person happened to walk by/appear on TV while you were surrpepticiously trying to rub your litmus paper against your fancyee's skin... could lead to some even more awkward situations!

― kate, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kate, you want to spoil all the 'fun'. Haven't you heard that life is a veil of tears?

― Nick, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, of course it is. But I'm thinking more of my poor friends and how many "Isn't he lovely? Do you think he's interested?" conversations they've had to endure? Wouldn't they just rather jump straight to the "Oh, he HAAAAAATES me" whingefest instead?

― kate, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never bloody know! Not knowing this lead me to date someone I hated for 9 months because I thought no-one else would ever fancy me, especially not my CRUSH... and guess what else I found out, 9.1 months later, kids??? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I annoy my friends about it for weeks till one of them says to one of her friends "so what about Ro and......". It's childish I guess but it's nice and easy.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wa-Hey! My classic question is back!!

― james, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

THEY SERENADE YOU WITH "COUNT AVERBINA"

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In spite of what everyone has said - prolonged eye contact is the surest way of knowing.

― K-reg, Wednesday, 12 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What am I on about with my 'veil of tears'? That would be a rubbish veil. I meant vale, obviously.

― N., Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Buying wrapping paper & cards in Smiths last night I noticed that the man behind me in the queue had chosen the exact same paper as me, same pattern and same colour. Aha! I thought - Mirroring! He must fancy me! At which point I realised ILE has made me insane.

― Emma, Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I did wonder about veil/vale, but was so struck by the idea of a 'veil' of tears (like a film over your eyes), like that it wasn't life but its perception that made it sad that I didn't say anything.

― Ellie, Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Emma, what were you doing in a Yellow Pages advert? Most disturbing.

― Trevor, Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But better than the Lambrini ad I usually inhabit.

― Emma, Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wouldn't it all be so much easier if people were honest?

― DG, Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

when someone likes you they should simply put your hands on their ass.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Eye contact is one thing, but that could be just a side effect of flirtiness. If she initiates wanting to exchange numbers with you, that's probably a better sign...

― Brian MacDonald, Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Emma's shop madness made me laugh.

Of course the answer to the question is: they tell you. Sometimes.

― Ally C, Thursday, 13 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two weeks pass...

umm.. get to know them first.. and then you just sort of know... body language and that thing called INTUITION!

― Patrycja, Tuesday, 1 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

when they try persistently to talk to you even though its obvious you are more engrossed in the computer. then if they see you on the street they pull over and offer you a lift home and offer to fix your car and invite you to parties and smile at you lots and make eye contact and all that kinda stuff.

― di, Thursday, 3 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

they laugh at dumb things you say. girls play with their hair. boys follow you home.

― , Thursday, 3 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

six months pass...

I wish I knew the answer to this before it was too late!!! I guess eye contact is a giveaway, especially say, if someone else is talking, and he/she (golden rule-works for both) keeps looking at you and directs their body/laughter toward you, its pretty likely... also if there is a group of you, and they seem to address evry question etc at you.... if they suddenly blow cold, and walk off ahead, after that... its a sure sign, bcoz.... it means they're jus worried bout looking too obvious. O yeh, and if they say really defensive things, then they rnt trying to get at you.... erm.... any more pearls of wisdome........

I wish I cud make some sense of all this at the right time! I say thoughtless things to the ppl i like.... and regret it loads aftawards.

Best choice is to jus ask em... saves longterm heartache, endless moaning on the fone to ur poor poor mates, and well... maybe they might even say yes!!

xxxxSilvaxxxx

― Sarah (silva), Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

once upon a time i was PASHING ON with a friend for hours and i was completely oblivious to the fact he liked me. and he was completely oblivious to the fact that i liked him. how can humans be soooo dumm??!! (ftr we didn't end up getting it together because we were so convinced the other wasn't innarested and then it was too late cos we'd found other people and shit!)

― di, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, that.

― Matt, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, it is a bit of a nuisance.

― Matt, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually quite a lot of a nuisance.

― Matt, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three months pass...

There's this girl I've noticed around who looks kind of cool, or might just remind me of someone off TV, I'm not sure. As far as I'm aware I've never done anything at all to show it (making eye contact, getting in her eyeline etc). But just now I was walking into the computer room and she was near the entrance staring into space. We made eye contact briefly, as you do, so I looked away. I glanced back a moment later, and she was still looking my way. I glanced again, she's still looking. After I've almost walked passed her, and she'd turned around a good 45 degrees to keep staring at me. At which point I kind of grimaced slightly with embarassement - I wish I'd done an embarassed giggle instead. Does this mean anything? Should I go say hi next time I see her?

― Graham (graham), Friday, 22 November 2002 13:16 (twenty-three years ago)

have you asked melissa?

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 22 November 2002 13:37 (twenty-three years ago)

sounds promising.

be very careful about seeking her out to say hi. the timing of these things is crucial. if she does something similar, then reciprocate in some way yes. if next time she doesnt, maybe just try the eye contact and shy smile type thing, she how she responds to that.

(if you do go up and say 'hi' make sure you have something to follow on with, otherwise the moment will be lost)

― gareth (gareth), Friday, 22 November 2002 13:38 (twenty-three years ago)

and what does melissa have to say about all this?

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 22 November 2002 13:39 (twenty-three years ago)

when they try persistently to talk to you even though its obvious you are more engrossed in the computer

oh god my boss fancies me.

― katie (katie), Friday, 22 November 2002 13:45 (twenty-three years ago)

well ktee i can understand that ;-)

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 22 November 2002 13:48 (twenty-three years ago)

why marcello you SMOOOOOTHIE you! ;) HUH on tuesday when we played at the Water Rats this guy followed me around for half the night harping on about my "sexy knees". a) he was clearly on CRACK and b) i am soooooo wearing trousers to gigs from now on.

― katie (katie), Friday, 22 November 2002 13:53 (twenty-three years ago)

When I fancy somebody, I usually tell them I want to fuck their glasses off.

― Mandee, Friday, 22 November 2002 13:56 (twenty-three years ago)

"I glanced again, she's still looking. After I've almost walked passed her, and she'd turned around a good 45 degrees to keep staring at me."

Graham, according to a slightly scary "expert" on some super-dodgy makeover-to-makeout programme i was ~~taking notes on~~ switching over to by mistake, if this girl wz a gay man she'd be CRUISING you. But in a slightly uncool way.

If you had a post-it note stuck to your hair (ref.real situation that happened to a friend of mine) or other hilarious sartorial goof going on, this does not apply.

"fancies" — like any intense and not abstractly ordered thought — can easily work by opposites: i.e. it can manifest as shock or even initial dislike. She has shown an interest + you are interested = see what happens if you pursue it.

In any day not actually spent in your own room alone there are dozens of doors into adventures of all kinds — brief, endless, rewarding, disastrous, all the above — which all of us walk blithely past.

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 22 November 2002 14:19 (twenty-three years ago)

not all of us. it's just that more often than not they turn out to be dead ends, or else someone else has bricked the doors up.

anyway, where does melissa come into this? uh, aren't you supposed to be getting married or something?

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 22 November 2002 14:32 (twenty-three years ago)

also, anything you do/say must seem spontaneous and breezy, no heavyness attached (this is vital)

― gareth (gareth), Friday, 22 November 2002 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe melissa hired this girl to test graham's faithfulness.

graham, maybe she did.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 22 November 2002 14:46 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe melissa hired this girl to test graham's faithfulness.

graham, maybe she did.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 22 November 2002 14:46 (twenty-three years ago)

how could that have possibly happened? and I wish I had said 'fidelity.'

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 22 November 2002 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

What does she look like? This is kind of important.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Friday, 22 November 2002 15:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I saw this pretty girl several times this week, but I doubted if she would actually like Megadeth or the Apples in Stereo.

Graham, just say hi to her next time.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 November 2002 18:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I saw her again on the way out, we kind of clumsily made eye contact as I passed but it was a very brief moment. Would saying hi while passing (without stopping) be creepy or not?

And I've got pretty much a year until I need to marry Melissa, so that's fine.

― Graham (graham), Friday, 22 November 2002 18:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham, just say hello. Whats the worst that could happen?

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 22 November 2002 18:33 (twenty-three years ago)

saying hello is not creepy!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 November 2002 18:36 (twenty-three years ago)

unless you say "hello" and then do a hannibal lector impression.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 November 2002 18:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Sit next to her in the computer lab if you spot her there again. Then either pull up some website like b3ta or some silly flash animation or something funny, and point it out to her as if it was so funny/obnoxious, you just had to show someone. Or ask her about something on campus that has a chance of starting a conversation i.e. "do you know when they are showing that one movie at the student center?" Or ask her if she is in one your classes. Basically, just say "hi," but have a reason to initiate contact, as it helps with saying something once your "hi" card has been spent (bad pun).

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 22 November 2002 19:03 (twenty-three years ago)

just sing her a Barry White song and she is all yours man.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 22 November 2002 19:06 (twenty-three years ago)

or dress up like adam ant!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 22 November 2002 21:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I would like to warn you that using b3ta may not be a sure-fire way to pick up women.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 22 November 2002 22:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell her you want to caress her proud bosom, and tenderly stroke her silken thighs. Much less creepy than saying hello.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 22 November 2002 22:19 (twenty-three years ago)

"the sure-fire way" a new book about dating in the noughties!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 22 November 2002 22:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Dress like a fascist!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 22 November 2002 22:38 (twenty-three years ago)

i get a funny feeling in my hands

― minna (minna), Saturday, 23 November 2002 05:06 (twenty-three years ago)

"anything you do/say must seem spontaneous and breezy, no heavyness attached (this is vital)"

what's wrong with heaviness? if something is calculatedly breezy, isn't that worse than sincerely heavy?

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 23 November 2002 09:56 (twenty-three years ago)

bnw to thread!

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 23 November 2002 10:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know nothing. But Mary is very demanding. Any sign of calculated advance, and she will immediately cut the guy down to size. Breezy, heavy, whatever, no one is safe.

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 23 November 2002 12:17 (twenty-three years ago)

what's wrong with heaviness? if something is calculatedly breezy, isn't that worse than sincerely heavy?

oh nothings is wrong with heavyness, but i'm not sure how appropriate that'd be to a complete stranger. this surely comes later? 'calulatedly breezy' seems machiavellian and insincere, all i really mean is you don't wnat to be putting too much pressure onto the situation at such an early stage

having said that, i am completely clueless as to if i am being fancied, so perhaps my advice aint all that great!

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 23 November 2002 12:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know nothing. But Mary is very demanding.

Unlike Ally, who willingly allows anyone entrance into her Style Lab.

Gareth, I fancy you, how is that?

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 23 November 2002 12:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Is asking someone back to your Style Lab better then asking them back to hear your record collection? (Or maybe a combination of the two is the perfect come on.)

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 23 November 2002 12:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I am not Momus for fuck's sake!

WHY are we both still awake?? You really WERE coking it up in that bathroom, weren't you?

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 23 November 2002 12:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Hard to Say I'm Sorry by Chicago is a great song.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 23 November 2002 13:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey baby,
Come over to my style lab,
Hey lady,
Want some sushi and crab?

Hope you like the concept,
Hope we don't turn out
To be binary opposites,
That would be a bit shit.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 23 November 2002 14:06 (twenty-three years ago)

(sorry)

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 23 November 2002 14:11 (twenty-three years ago)

you're not sorry jel: you just wear that evil smile all day long.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 23 November 2002 14:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey Jel, have you heard the happy hardcore version of that Chicago song? It's by Go Mental, if I'm thinking of the right thing, and he calls it/they call it Hold Me Now. I think it's great.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 23 November 2002 14:20 (twenty-three years ago)

no martin, its by dj kaos

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 23 November 2002 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Um, maybe. Might that be an alias? You see, I know for a fact that I have this, and I have no song of that title by DJ Kaos, but I do have it on a Happy Hardcore comp credited to Go Mental.

I also have happy hardcore tunes by Johnny Go Mental and Johnny Go Fruity Mental. It's a scene very rife with aliases - I bought a comp a week or two back where the first eight or nine tracks all involved Scott Brown, but all had different names.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 23 November 2002 15:29 (twenty-three years ago)

thats because all happy hardcore is made by scott brown in his cumbernauld distillery, he also makes those little injecto-temazipan dispensers for 14 year olds yo

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 23 November 2002 15:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Hurrah!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 23 November 2002 15:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Sounds good to me! And isn't that version something like seven years old? Or am I thinking of the guy futzing around with his mix set...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 23 November 2002 17:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, it's that kind of vintage.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 23 November 2002 18:13 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, it's ancient. one of john peel's fave ever records, isn't it?

did dj kaos also do the version of "dying in yr arms tonight"? that's pretty good too.

― toby (tsg20), Saturday, 23 November 2002 18:50 (twenty-three years ago)

There's a fantastic version of Celine Dion's My heart will go on, one of the best ever.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 23 November 2002 18:54 (twenty-three years ago)

"Unlike Ally, who willingly allows anyone entrance into her Style Lab."

Thread derailment alert: so what did I miss the rest of the night? I f I was a guy I would fancy Ally. At 4AM Mary has last all hope of injecting any comments, meaningful or otherwise, into the fray, and Ally is punning, playing with words, coming up with new connections, impressing strangers, etc. etc. I don't know how she does it...

That said, Gareth I fancy you too. Ally/Mary FITE over Gareth!

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 23 November 2002 21:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Is happy hardcore like scooter? (sounds fun if it is!)

Most chicago songs could be turned into trance songs. Most songs could be turned into trance songs.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 23 November 2002 22:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Mary you mainly missed me and bnw standing on a street corner nearly in tears for being so cold. Then we ran into the lobby of a v. posh building and begged the doorman to let us sit inside, like homeless people. We shouldn't have run out on the guy, he was going to get us a proper cab home right away!

In fairness, the strangers I impressed were drunk guys. They tend to be easily impressed...(I am very flattered, I think I sound like a hyperactive moron)

GARETH you are as fancied as bnw it seems.

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 24 November 2002 04:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Toby, yeah that's definitely DJ Kaos.

Jel, happy hardcore is quite like Scooter, but a bit thumpier and, sometimes, even more militantly dumb.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 24 November 2002 20:07 (twenty-three years ago)

the difference between scooter and Happy Hardcore is immense. Tempo prevalence of break beats, heaviness of the 4/4 are all different.

― Ed (dali), Sunday, 24 November 2002 20:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Happy hardcore doesn't have too much in the way of breakbeats left in it, mostly. The heaviness of the four to the floor beat is what I meant by 'thumpier'. I reckon someone liking Scooter might easily like HH too.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 24 November 2002 21:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Scooter?

Ok, you brits... what cute little term/subgenre of club music did you have to go right on and spawn this time? Is Schooldisco already old skool?

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 24 November 2002 21:50 (twenty-three years ago)

scooter are german, and nothing to do with schooldisco, they've also been around for about 5 years

― gareth (gareth), Sunday, 24 November 2002 21:57 (twenty-three years ago)

(um, maybe I should have put a raggétt winkey stylee in my last post)

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 24 November 2002 22:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Early happy hardcore has breakbeats in as well as the 4/4 kicks but then they mostly decided that was oldfashioned and stripped it down to the breakbeatless "4-beat". It's still at jungly tempos though. Scooter have been cramming their records with happyhardcore-namechecking titles and MCing for years but the scene has never wanted anything to do with them. If you want to go with that Euro not-quite-scene-approved happycore stuff then stick with Charley Lownoise and Mental Theo, at least they pack some mean Juno Alpha action, "Just Can't Get Enough" is cheesy as all hell and will lodge itself into your head for weeks. Oh, go on, there aren't many songs which have a <160bpm Amen which isn't even cut up that I'll recommend. Er, apart from the original Amen Brother, of course.

The best stuff is every good idea - or, I suppose, every wretched overused cliché, depending on how concerned you are with retaining your credibility - from previous forms of dance music all crammed into the mix at once, so you get your sped-up italo-house piano breaks and helium divas (insert lame Mary Timony gag here) AND yer thumping 4/4 kick-hat kick-hat AND hoover synths and rinsing breakbeats and filter resosweeps and and and and twinkly staring-up-at-the-stars synths and offbeat claps and bass stabs and on-beat crossfading of laughably embarrassing samples (altogether now "i GOT! the BAD! bad SKILLZ! and STYLEZ!") and, er, yeah.

That Kaos track is a gem, as is Brisk's "This Is Happy Hardcore" (less definitively HH than the title might suggest but still a huge tune) and the Slipmatt SMD series. Search: the stuff with breakbeats, destroy: trancecore, which is a shame, since trancecore seems to be about all that's left, or it was a few years ago, maybe now it's over and everyone's defected to hardhouse (search: Mrs Wood - Joanna - Tony de Vit remix YES! MORE top quality coronary-inducing cheese! but that might not even be proper hardhouse, I stopped paying attention; genre police to thread). You can probably fairly easily find an old 3-cd Bonkers for a quid or two in a sale or a charity shop, and if it includes Hixxy, Slipmatt or DJ Brisk then snap it up.

You may all laugh now. (Christ, OVERLONG. And offtopic. But listening to happy hardcore feels like realising someone fancies you, see...)

― Rebecca (reb), Sunday, 24 November 2002 22:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah, old joke recycling time: Happy Hardcore's Last Will and Testament

2) To my dear friend HARD HOUSE I bequeath the rapid 'highlight' mixing technique and insanely high-pitched riffs. I wish for them to be used in abundance until people wish that the pills they bought really were Paracetamol.

― Rebecca (reb), Sunday, 24 November 2002 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

There's a free Brisk CD on the cover of the new Mixmag. Looks like it purports to be Serious Hardcore, but I've not had time to play it yet.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 24 November 2002 23:23 (twenty-three years ago)

But listening to happy hardcore feels like realising someone fancies you, see...

genius!!

― toby (tsg20), Sunday, 24 November 2002 23:33 (twenty-three years ago)

How do you know all this stuff Rebecca? Seriously, I'm curious.

Also, does "Happy Hardcore" by Helen Love count as happy hardcore? I like to think so (also look at the irredeemable rockist I am with the quote marks and everything else)

if you do go up and say 'hi' make sure you have something to follow on with, otherwise the moment will be lost

"Do you have a boyfriend?"?

― Graham (graham), Monday, 25 November 2002 10:13 (twenty-three years ago)

no, graham, don't say that

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 25 November 2002 10:27 (twenty-three years ago)

(I was joking, obv, but with the right tone of voice and being Trip Fontaine, I think it could work)

― Graham (graham), Monday, 25 November 2002 10:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Scooter aren't German!!! They're Scottish, innit?

Oh dear. I sense myself looking this up sooner or later. How awful.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 25 November 2002 10:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Nothing by Helen Love counts as happy hardcore. (My Heart Goes Boom is a great record though, and it mentions Atari Teenage Riot, who are Digital Hardcore, so half right.)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 25 November 2002 13:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Wah! I commissioned that Last Will piece. It appeared in the Chill section of Mixmag and was writen by a freelance called Nick Stevenson (well he works there full time now, but he was still at college then).

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I saw her today a couple of times. She;s defintiely *noticing* me, and appears to be kind of embarassed, but what would happen if spoke to her I don't know. When I was leaving the computer area I walked past her, I looked towards her, and she was looking back, and i just looked away and burst into a massive embarrassed giggling blush. Whether there's anything to this or whether she's just looking to see if I'm looking at her, I have no clue. I need help.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

no, scooter are indubitably big in scotland but are in fact german.

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 26 November 2002 15:59 (twenty-three years ago)

graham try this!

graham: "hi"

you honestly can just take it from there!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 16:12 (twenty-three years ago)

ask her if she wants to go for a drink

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 16:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Saying hello is no problem I think. It's thinking of something to say after that other than "Do you have a boyfriend?" that's a nightmare.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 16:18 (twenty-three years ago)

if you see her about regularly, next time this happens you could just say 'hi', like, in passing, see how she responds. you dont have to say anything else to her on that occasion, but, if she says 'hi' too (and in a nice way) you've established a 'hi' relationship, then next time you can see her you can say 'hi' again, and then, "hey look, do you wanna go for a drink or something?" (this is only if you see her around regularly enough for the 2 instances to be close together)

or you could ask her for a drink on the first occasion, this is, of course, more nerve racking. 'hi' by itself, in passing, at least tests the water for an initial reaction.

do not ask her if she has a boyfriend!

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 16:27 (twenty-three years ago)

gareth = don juan

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 16:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I could go the Amelie route: "Your boyfriend must be very lucky (hem hem)" (alright, kill me)

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 16:39 (twenty-three years ago)

gareth = don juan !

hardly! (i would be much more likely to not say anything at all, due to my own shyness)

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 16:41 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd be too shy to say anything too. I blush if a girl even looks at me.

Graham: You're at college, right? So she's a student too, right? In which case, I'd would start with a 'Hi' move on to a 'What course are you doing?' and follow her answer up with a 'What's that like?'. Get in a 'What's your name?' and you're laughing.

― Alfie (Alfie), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 16:53 (twenty-three years ago)

no no no no no!!!! just say "hi" and enjoy it!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 17:30 (twenty-three years ago)

It's much better to stick your hand out and say, "Hi, my name is [xxx]" than to say, "Hi, how are you, what are you studying, oh and what's your name?"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 17:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Get in a 'What's your name?' and you're laughing

NB: do not laugh.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 17:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham, I recommend being very interested in something on her person that is not actually a part of her body. I mean, pretty much everyone is either wearing or carrying at least one thing that's a worthy excuse for conversation, right? I can't tell you how many more people I met ever since I got into the habit of commenting on such things (though I think I've gone a bit overboard and give certain people daily sartorial reviews).

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)

"That's a nice brooch you have on your supple, pert teat."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:26 (twenty-three years ago)

(Also, commenting on a woman outfit/accessories is the bullet-train to "You are so nice! I love having a gay friend like you." Not the best place to be if you're trying for a luv connection.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Ask her out for muffin.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Dan, there is a big difference between "Omigod let me look at you, aren't you just adorable in that dress" and "Whoah, where'd you come up with those shoes?" (Actually not that I'm premeditated about this, but a slightly subtext of teasing can sort of help here, though I don't think Graham will want to try that.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:46 (twenty-three years ago)

It's much better to stick your hand out and say, "Hi, my name is [xxx]" than to say, "Hi, how are you, what are you studying, oh and what's your name?"

this is very good advice. whenever people do that to me i always think "why don't i do that?" and resolve to next time.

― toby (tsg20), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:49 (twenty-three years ago)

in this past year i've been working a lot in the tiny, four computer fine arts mac room and it's actually *improved* my social skills somewhat - it's the perfect place to interact! a number of times i found myself there with only one other person that i didn't know. in a one square meter room with no windows and silence, the tension is tangible. suprisingly, it seemed like i was always the first to break the ice, and it's really easy too, at least after the first time. just a "hey watcha working over there?" or "boy this room is stuffy" or "i think i've developed carpal tunnel syndrom". and if conversation runs dry, then don't worry about it, you're not face to face at a party or anything so just pretend you're seeing something really fascinating on the computer screen and wait till you think of something funny and charming to say. this it almost got me stoned with a cute-ish 23 year old! but i had to wait around and copy something onto digital video for this guy and the missed the opportunity, damn. but it's not too late for you graham!

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I have had success with "So, where's your boyfriend then?" said cheesily and cheekily.
I have had limited success with "You can slap me now, I'll squeeze your arse later."

Be bumbling, stuttery and hopelessly shy. It worked for Hugh Grant remember.

Do not ask her if she fancies a muffin.

― Simeon (Simeon), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Dan, there is a big difference between "Omigod let me look at you, aren't you just adorable in that dress" and "Whoah, where'd you come up with those shoes?"

Yes, one is stereotypically flaming while the other is merely stereotypically gay.

I suggest Graham says "Hi" whenever he bumps into her and, at some point in the future, introduces himself and asks her what brings her to the lab so often. If it's school-related, ask her questions about it. If it's keeping-in-touch-with-home stuff, ask her if she's homesick. If she begs off, saying it's too personal, drop the subject immediately and ask her what she's studying and proceed from there. Most importantly, DON'T IMMEDIATELY ASK HER OUT unless she's giving off vibes that she's interested (ie, no glances at a watch or clock, no nervous tapping of fingers, she's leaning in towards you and keeps trying to make eye contact, her top is off and she's screaming "SUCK 'EM, COWBOY!", etc).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 19:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I guess it must be my intense aura of manliness keeping people from getting the gay vibe.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 19:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Either that or the drooling.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 19:18 (twenty-three years ago)

It must be the drooling, because you can't be manly and have an aura.

Madchen says she sees auras. She's full of shit though.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 19:20 (twenty-three years ago)

just whip out your cock.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 19:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Followed by a "suck it".

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 19:28 (twenty-three years ago)

her top is off and she's screaming "SUCK 'EM, COWBOY!"

The complex workings of Dan's past revealed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 19:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I guess it must be my intense aura of manliness keeping people from getting the gay vibe.

I bet that not singing classical music helps.

just whip out your cock. Followed by a "suck it".

I think that only works in romantic comedies (where by "romantic comedy" I mean "porn").

The complex workings of Dan's past revealed.

"Nice toll-houses!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 19:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm never physically near enough to say hi. Dan's suggestion about asking why she's there so often seems perfect (though wouldn't she be more nervous/want to get away the more interested she is, if my own behaviour is anything to go by?)

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 20:33 (twenty-three years ago)

you could yell hi

― Josh (Josh), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 20:36 (twenty-three years ago)

wave your arms real big too like there is a plane coming in over her head

― Josh (Josh), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 20:37 (twenty-three years ago)

walk over and say hi then!!!

someone has got to make the first move.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 20:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Can we have a thread where Madchen tells us what our auras look like? Such as 'Ah fuck it, what do our auras look like?'

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 21:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Virtual Aura Reading! (something don't seem right about that! :)

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 22:04 (twenty-three years ago)

What if she only does the ones she's met?

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 22:23 (twenty-three years ago)

It's much better to stick your hand out and say, "Hi, my name is [xxx]" than to say, "Hi, how are you, what are you studying, oh and what's your name?"

I didn't mean that the 'Hi', 'What you studying?' and 'What's your name?' be used in the same conversation. No, no, no, that would be a complete lack of conversational foreplay. Spread them out over the course of a couple of days/weeks.

Personally, if someone came up to me and said "Hi, my name is [xxx]", I'd get the fear.

Be bumbling, stuttery and hopelessly shy. It worked for Hugh Grant remember.

Erm.. would you mind awfully, erm, that is, if you're not otherwise, well, you know, erm, I mean, would it be alright if, shall we say, you got into, perhaps, the back of this car and gave me a blowjob?

― Alfie (Alfie), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 22:26 (twenty-three years ago)

What about 'Hi, my name is xXx" ?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 12:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham asking why she is there so often is a bad idea I think, coming from a guy to a woman in a computer room - it might give off "don't invade my space vibes". Anyway, why are YOU there so often???

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 13:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, clearly it's all in the phrasing; "Hey, I keep noticing you around here; are you bogged down with schoolwork or just goofing off like me?" is much better than "WOMAN, WHY ARE YOU IN THE SACRED MAN-PLACE?" Option two cuts down severely on the chances of her ever going to your sacred man-place.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:06 (twenty-three years ago)

How about asking her to mind your bag whilst you disappear to make a quick call. You return 1 minute later and thank her, and thus ice has been broken. You now moved on from the staring stage to conversing.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I was just thinking "You're in here a lot?" would be about right.

Dave: Problem with that is we've already noticed each other so me doing that and preteneding she's just a handy total stranger = dud.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:11 (twenty-three years ago)

The more time you spend preparing EXACTLY what you are going to say and how you are going to say it, the more likely you are to get it wrong (in your mind at any rate). It's all very well planning what you're going to say but there is no way (that I know of) to make the other person say what you planned for them to say back. Except for hitting them until they say the right thing. This is not advisable.

― Emma, Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, but not = dud. As you've noticed each other, that's why you're asking her, as she's the only friendly face in the room.

If you come back and find her rifling through your bag, she is either a kleptomaniac or has a strange concept of privacy, which both = dud.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Well I'm not really planning, it's just cos people keep replying to this thread and I haven't seen her again yet.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:16 (twenty-three years ago)

It obv. goes without saying that on no account should you leave this page on the screen when you make your fake phone call, as she will run away.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Emma's right in that you can't script out the entire conversation. The trick is to get her to start talking, though, and figuring out how to break the ice ahead of time isn't a bad thing.

Really, all you want to do is find out her name and give her yours at this point, because then the next time you see her you can say, "Hi [name]!" Bingo, you're one step closer in the familiarity stakes and it won't be so odd if you ask her out for dinner/drinks (hot monkey love is probably premature at this stage).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:20 (twenty-three years ago)

say hi as you're leaving a couple times, she'll feel more comfortable, and then introduce yourself. but "you're in here often" or "hey i like your outfit" sound planned and silly.

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 14:33 (twenty-three years ago)

a) She's here
b) She's sitting in the row directly behind me, though there's quite a large distance between us.
c) I just not so subtlely turned around to look she was straing at me, and she didn't even blink.
d) Should I fire up Word and type "Come say hi, you daft bint" in 144 point Geneva Sans?
e) I WILL say hi in a minute, if she's still here.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:14 (twenty-three years ago)

d) NO
e) YES

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:17 (twenty-three years ago)

d) YES

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:40 (twenty-three years ago)

What happened?????

Not been this full of suspense since I heard the D**** B****** rumours two hours ago.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Dave you shouldn't listen to rumours about yourself.

What D******** B******* rumours?

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:48 (twenty-three years ago)

About where he has allegedly dipping his wick. Naturally to the annoyance of his wife.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:50 (twenty-three years ago)

She's still her.e I will TORK in a second. I will I will I will.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Ahhhhh THATs why I've been getting "D**** B****** relationship" coming up in my search logs.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham: run away! No! Don't! Talk instead! Now!

Dave: Care to give a little clue on hwo DB might be? Or a bit more juicy rumour goss?

I.E. I didn't know Daniel Bedingfield was married ect ect.

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Go 4 it Graham !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 28 November 2002 13:55 (twenty-three years ago)

the suspense is now killing me. go Graham!

― Jeff W, Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:02 (twenty-three years ago)

It's David Blaine! No, it isn't. Tim: he wears a number 7.

Good luck Graham, I'm getting butterflies myself.

― Alfie (Alfie), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Righty. So who is "D*vid B*wie" supposed to have done a bad thing with?

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:06 (twenty-three years ago)

PS: Graham: tell her all about ILx and the good advice you get here.

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Iggy Pop's s1ster.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:09 (twenty-three years ago)

3r, he1n?

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:11 (twenty-three years ago)

0h 1 see, sorry

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:12 (twenty-three years ago)

M34nwh1le back t0 9r4h4m...

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes tell us how it went Graham!

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

[Drums fingers...]

Presume no response from G is a GOOD SIGN. A message would be good as I can't do any work until I know.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:25 (twenty-three years ago)

THat was so fucking weird.

Here's what happenned:
I logged off my computer (Dan to thread), contemplated talking to her but instead decided to walk to the other end of the library (where the books are) to think of something to say. AFter couple of minutes pretending to look at books on Postmodern dance, I walk back towards the other end. The library here is long and thin, with the book and computer areas separated by offices and the issue desk that take up most of its width in the middle, and opposite the desk are the doors.

+-----+--+--------+
|     |  |        |
| PCs |  |  Books |
|     DESK        |
|                 |
+-----EXIT--------+

As I returned, she was coming the other way. She clocks me and goe straight for the gate, but doh, she's got a book with her (I didn't think to look what it was, alas) and the alrm went off, so she goes to queue at the desk. I go and stand next to her and say hi, she kind of glances towards me but mainly stares straight ahead, absolutlely stunned. I stare at her for a few moments, wonmdering if I'm going to say anything, but I don't, and turn right around and leave. I wander the corridors downstairs for a bit and come back up here and tell you this.

So does she:
a) Fancy me so much she can't face talking to me (unlikely I know)
b) Scared of the scary guy sho keeps staring at her and has now tried to make contact.
????

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think it matters. She's a book thief and you shouldn't have anything more to do with her.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:34 (twenty-three years ago)

i. who has been staring most at who?
ii. if she is interested in you graham, she just did the classic bart-style "i fell on my bottom" DUMM THING IN FULL VIEW of person she is interested in, and was mainly thinking "i wish the ground wd swallow me up" when you spoke to her

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:41 (twenty-three years ago)

i) She started it (I think), but I have been unsubtlely checking whether she's staring, and I'm the one that's been doing the cute giggling when our eyes do meet, I don't think she reacts.
ii) quite probably.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 28 November 2002 14:45 (twenty-three years ago)

You all seem suddenly disinterested.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 28 November 2002 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

we're waiting for tomorrow's nail-biting installment

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 28 November 2002 16:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I've not got any nails left after today. I don't think I could take it again.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 28 November 2002 16:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Of all the people telling Graham to go talk to her here how many have ever got together with someone outside of a pub/nightclub, or in a library. I mean I'm sure some of you have but isn't it extra hard for him because it's the library and they aren't exactly love nests. (unless you're Ned)

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 16:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Eeeh I got chatted up quite determinedly outside the library a while ago. He'd followed me out to the bus stop, which was where he went wrong (following = creepy): I would have been happy to talk about the books I was choosing ect. but being chased down the road = dud. Also otherwise, err, distracted at time *sigh*.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 28 November 2002 16:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Meeting a stranger in a library before going off for frantic rudeness = classic

Fact that above is obv. a fantasy conjured during boring hours of revision = dud

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 28 November 2002 16:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I suggested in the pub last night that we should have a weekly email service summarising the latest developments on ILE for readers who can't follow the drama as it actually unfolds.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 28 November 2002 17:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think anyone was suggesting upthread that Graham get all mad passionate in the library. Just try and strike up a conversation and see what happens.

(I have never got together with anyone in a pub or nightclub btw)

― Jeff W, Thursday, 28 November 2002 17:02 (twenty-three years ago)

how many have ever got together with someone outside of a pub/nightclub, or in a library.

Years ago while I was in a library a random perv came over to my table, sat, down, introduced himself, and then dove for my feet (I had slipped off my shoes). I immediately slipped back into my shoes, got up, and walked out without another word.

Graham: I'm sure you're a lovely person, but don't try this.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 28 November 2002 17:08 (twenty-three years ago)

a random perv came over to my table, sat, down, introduced himself, and then dove for my feet

You Americans with your crazy past participles. I read this as 'introduced himself, and then a dove for my feet' and thought it was the loveliest thing I had ever heard.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 28 November 2002 17:30 (twenty-three years ago)

No offense inteneded, but would you say "dived"?

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 28 November 2002 17:34 (twenty-three years ago)

No offence taken, but yes!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 28 November 2002 17:40 (twenty-three years ago)

It is a past participle that can be used either way. 'Dove' is the strong declension, and is the older version, but lots of strong verbs tend to become weak over time, ie taking inflectional suffixes, so whether you use 'dove' or 'dived' is a matter of personal preference.

― alix (alix), Thursday, 28 November 2002 17:50 (twenty-three years ago)

My dictionary marks 'dove' as U.S..

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 28 November 2002 17:52 (twenty-three years ago)

it has persisted in the US longer. this is alix's bitch, but the good ol UK hypercorrect things like this to purge irregular verbs from the language.

i read somewhere that the only irregular verb coined in the last 100 years is "snuk"

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 18:03 (twenty-three years ago)

'snuck', surely? (again, Chiefly U.S.)

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 28 November 2002 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Suzy Dent to thread!

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 20:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I refuse to accept that "dived" is a real word.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Thursday, 28 November 2002 21:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Back again. The reason certain strong declensions and other seemingly irregular forms survive in American English is because they have preserved the language that first went over there (not sure when, may involve Pilgrims, ie Middle English. Poss.). It's not that they're fucking with it; rather it's the English English that is changing and quite honestly, weak declensions are easier to remember.

― alix (alix), Friday, 29 November 2002 12:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't seen her today but have decided who she reminds me of. She's a ginger (dark ginger, but orange, not brown ginger like that Rebecca) (yes yes, Anna) Mandy Moore in A Walk To Remember.

― Graham (graham), Friday, 29 November 2002 18:20 (twenty-three years ago)

wow!

Don't give up Graham!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 29 November 2002 18:53 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, stalk her!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:02 (twenty-three years ago)

graham there's still ample time to try that airplane-signaling thing

― Josh (Josh), Friday, 29 November 2002 20:58 (twenty-three years ago)

and what about the apples in stereo??

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:09 (twenty-three years ago)

If a guy keeps staring at you in a bar, and smiles at you every time you look over, does it mean that he fancies you? Or is he just being friendly? This happened to me last night, I couldn't figure out if I had spinach in my teeth or not. It was a shame, cause he had Jules' hair, but then again, not the ass. Ah well.

― kate, Friday, 29 November 2002 22:40 (twenty-three years ago)

fancies, i reckons...

― michael (michael), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:42 (twenty-three years ago)

You know, it's just not fair.

I've spent all this time living in Hoxton, putting up with the Ironic Mullet, and then the Hoxton Fin, and now that GARAGE ROCK HAIR is finally catching on as a trend, I have to leave. :-(

― kate, Friday, 29 November 2002 22:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Yep, he definitely fancies you.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:48 (twenty-three years ago)

kate you really should have lighted his fire!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Look, it is up to the BOY to approach me if he fancies me, instead of just staring at me moonily. I am sick of having to approach boys, hair like Julian Casablancas or no. Poo.

(He probably might actually have done so if it wasn't for the fact that just then the guitarist from the support band came over and started talking to me, and I just wanted to scream No! He's just a friend! You can still come over and say hello...)

― kate, Friday, 29 November 2002 23:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ian Sinclair says in Lights Out that the stalker is the modern day flaneur; so stalk away people, it is your birthright...

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 30 November 2002 04:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Dove' sounds generally quite nice but I can't imagine ever saying 'And so we all just dove in'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 30 November 2002 12:34 (twenty-three years ago)

On thursday I had drinks with Graham's evil twin (Dark hair, leathers), go plays guitar for the Human League. I think he must be luring all the girls away, across the penines, from graham once he has spied them.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 30 November 2002 12:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I never know when I am fancied.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Sunday, 1 December 2002 04:31 (twenty-three years ago)

'And so we all just dove in'.
But 'And so we all just dived in' is horrible!
N. you are clearly mad.

― Simeon (Simeon), Sunday, 1 December 2002 15:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm so not. 'Dive Din'. It's great to say and hear.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 1 December 2002 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

"Dived in" is perfectly sensible. I suppose I'm not, since I'm enjoying conjugating "jive", "skive", "revive", "high five", etc, in the American way and smirking. Too much caffeine, too little sleep...

― Rebecca (reb), Sunday, 1 December 2002 15:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Yesterday I skoved off work and joved the night away at a 50's revoval night. In a dove bar. I highed-foved some buddies.

― Simeon (Simeon), Sunday, 1 December 2002 16:03 (twenty-three years ago)

What's with all the 'd's?

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 1 December 2002 16:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I fancy you Aaron. But you're maybe a little young for me.

― Mary (Mary), Monday, 2 December 2002 04:37 (twenty-three years ago)

even after all of my second-rate undergrad quasi-intellectual whining? and remember, it was you who bought me the beer, not the other way around ;-) or wait... *blushes*
err... have a safe trip back to the City?

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 2 December 2002 06:38 (twenty-three years ago)

haha now you're making me look even more lecherous...back safe and sound, i love how the 'City' has taken on Kafkaesque overtones...

― Mary (Mary), Monday, 2 December 2002 07:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Mary and Aaron, the two of you did make a charming couple the other night...

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 2 December 2002 19:55 (twenty-three years ago)

That was Sam Adams talking, not me!
(haha that works as a response to both posts!)
Referring to New York as "the City" is just a tendency I picked up from going to school in New England for so many years. Everyone I met referred to it as "the city" because where are you going to go? Boston? Ha!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 2 December 2002 21:36 (twenty-three years ago)

If i'm reading a Bazooka Joe comic, waiting in line to see Jonathan Richman, and someone asks me "is it funny?"
Does that mean they fancy me?
I said "kind of" and showed it to them, but I probably came off as uninteresting. (mostly because I was in a state of badjokereadingness"

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 06:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Heads up guys, she's here! For the first time in a week.

She's two computers along, she just came and checked out the computer on the opposite side to me for no discernable reason. Help!

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 5 December 2002 14:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Get the worst headphones in existence and play the Outhere Brother's I Wanna Fuck You In The Ass at the kind of volume that screams "I Wanna Fuck You In The Ass", while staring at her intensely.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Heh heh. Nice one, Ronan. Maybe the Ramones 'Be My Baby' would be less terrifying (but also less amusing).

She wants to be near you, Graham: this means she fancies you but is probably nearly as shy as you. This is a frightening situation for both of you, so be careful. But not too careful.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Bump into her and then apologize!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

That so should have been my answer for the sexual technique thread.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

do the bump with her and then apologise

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Or, you could drop a pen or something similar. She'll pick it up, it gives you an excuse to say something to her, etc...

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Say Hi - wait 10 mins and then get up to leave. As an afterthought say "I'm finished here, I'm going for a coffee/pint/whatever at (somewhere close) Maybe I'll see you later?"
Then there's no pressure on her to make a decision and she will come if she is interested. Probably.

― Simeon (Simeon), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

fart.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:24 (twenty-three years ago)

BUGGER BUGGER! BUGGER! BUGGER!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

I waited until she was ready to leave, so I hit reset on my computer and went after. I walked up next to her and said "Hi", and she said hi back and kept walking. She has a suprisingly loud firm voice - I thought she was meant to be shy?. She's Irish, I think. So I said "thisisabitweird" and she said "Whuh?" and I said "This is a bit weird". Just as we were getting to the library gate I asked, "Are you doing anything right now?". ~~She said "No...~~ She said "I'm going home", in her very strong firm Irish "Look, I've had enough of this stupid argument....

"I'm going home" voice. And that was that, so i went back to another computer, began to login and hoped I'd see her again, but then I thought fuck it and ran out of the library down the stairs, along a corridor, looke dout of a window, couldn't see her, down more stairs along a corridor, out the front door, down to the end of the road looked both ways, back to the car park, then back to the end of the road and the main route home and ran like a bastard to this horrible scraggy Electronics building computer room, cz there was no sign of her.

THE END

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Well done! You broke the ice. Can't expect more than that on the first go.

Her firm voice is probably just a sign of irritation that you haven't approached her sooner.

Now that contact is established, you can have a little conversation next time and see where it leads.

― Paul Eater (eater), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:44 (twenty-three years ago)

that is really shitty, sorry Graham.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Now the key is to find another girl in the computer lab who witnessed this and say, "Christ! Did you see how shitty she was?"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 December 2002 15:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh dear.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:06 (twenty-three years ago)

or get a vest sweater.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh no Graham!! Oh that sounds very achey and horrible.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

It sucks when things like that happen, I'm sorry that had to happen to you Graham.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:17 (twenty-three years ago)

You made a mistake though Graham and I'm going to tell you what it is. The "hello" sounded like it went well, but it's good to give her a feeling that she, I dunno, makes you happy all over, instead of wretchedly uncomfortable. "This is a bit weird" is NOT your best bet for striking up a conversation with Dream Girl

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:23 (twenty-three years ago)

i have to agree with that, especially as, at that point, there was nothing weird at all, simply 2 people who use the computer lab often. (dont forget, she may even have read that as you saying "its weird you sitting near me all the time").

you needed to have been more "hey, i tell you what, you wanna go for a drink?"

ok, you're going to see this girl in the lab again though, so, what next?

maybe an embarrassed 'hi' or sheepish grin and lookaway, or something, you dont want to be pushing this one thats for sure!

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:31 (twenty-three years ago)

what you did is beyond scary ie extremely brave graham - people seriously do this?

― dwh (dwh), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:32 (twenty-three years ago)

which is just really an extension of: how many people have ever got together with someone outside of a pub/nightclub, or in a library? - it's a well scary proposition, and props to graham for even going near what he did.

― dwh (dwh), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Next time, GO FOR HER FEET.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah Graham, you must feel completely like the prince of suckness right now but that was a bloody brave thing to do, especially for someone as shy as you are. The next bit - not feeling totally crushed and doing it again with the next person you want to - is the really hard part, unfortunately.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Gareth: I might do, I might not. I'll definitely ask her about stuff though.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

As if last night wasn't crushing enough.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

ask her about what stuff graham? be careful here, you've made the move

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 5 December 2002 16:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Well done, Graham. It doesn't sound colossally promising, but do at least keep saying hi to her, and good luck.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 5 December 2002 18:54 (twenty-three years ago)

You know what Graham, I take it back. If someone kind of shyly went "hi" and kind of ambled along with me for a moment and then whispered "sabitbitweird" I would be TOTALLY BEGUILED. Especially if they looked like you!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 5 December 2002 21:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually I think you were right the first time, Tracer. But hey, we all say dumb things when we're stressed and think about things too much.

Good luck Graham. You have possibly learned that people can be shy and bolshy all in one bundle.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 December 2002 22:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Well done for actually doing this, I have to say I can't imagine ever talking to someone in this way, outside of an obvious social situation. It sounds insanely difficult and anyone who hooks up with people like this is a better man than I. You could always put on a fake Dublin accent and go "you're Irish????". I'll tell you all the place names and things.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 December 2002 22:33 (twenty-three years ago)

But they might be from Cork and have contempt.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 December 2002 22:43 (twenty-three years ago)

for everything.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 6 December 2002 09:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Is there any way we can construe this as not outright rejection? She just told me she was going home, which she was, right? Thinking about it, she said "Hello" in the same stern way she said "I'm going home", so it's still worth speaking to her again?

― Graham (graham), Friday, 6 December 2002 09:58 (twenty-three years ago)

when in doubt, whip it out!

― pee wee nugent, Friday, 6 December 2002 10:09 (twenty-three years ago)

YES! (but avoid 'this is a bit wierd ' or anything like).

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Friday, 6 December 2002 10:10 (twenty-three years ago)

It wasn't outright rejection, I don't think. Maybe just a stressed response to your slightly clumsy and oddly-timed approach. The fact that she chose to use a computer near you is probably significant (unless there were no others available at that time). Try to find a more casual reason for conversation next time. Getting up specifically to do it just as she was leaving wasn't a good idea.

― David (David), Friday, 6 December 2002 10:10 (twenty-three years ago)

She could be shy too. We all are really.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 6 December 2002 10:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I was coming up a different library's stairs to the computer area when I saw her at one of the Library Catalogue terminals. Today was about the worst possible day cos I woke up feeling really headcahey and nautious (sp?) and just plain ILL and in no fit state to be chatting girls up or talking to people. And I'm having trouble typing this.

I carried on up the stairs and checked my hair in the toilets (awful? CHECK), but by the time I came back she'd left the computer, which I was hoping to cz talking to her would have been awful. I went outside and checked she hadn't left the library, then I went back and wandered the aisles until I spotted her. I want and said hi, and she said hello vaguely cheerfully, but carried on looking at the shelves (Somewhere between Oscar Wilde and Wordsworth). After a long long moment of shyness, I said "I'm Graham... What's your name?", and said "Shelley", I think. I said "I've seen you around and you seem really cool", and she didn't really react - she might have nodded slightly. After another long pause, I said, "I'll see you around, yeah?" and she said "Yeah!", quite cheerfully, although that might just have been cz the awkward moment was over.

On any other day, I would have asked her to lunch or a coffee or whatever, but not today.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 12 December 2002 14:28 (twenty-three years ago)

(Why do I always see her on a Thursday???)

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 12 December 2002 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know. I fear you may be at a ramp it up or drop it crossroads, Graham.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Nauseous (but "nautious" is grebt and needs to be invented: perhaps it means "feeling disgusted at not being able to overcome one's natural caution")

anyway i think this is going fine graham

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

That was a decent ramp-up! You introduced yourself, got her name, complimented her, and gave her your name. This may still end up in the friendly acquaintance zone, but you also might get her to go out with you, particularly if things ended on a friendly note.

In situations like these, it can be very charming if you admit to the object of your affection that she makes you shy and uncertain. Slight emphasis on "can", but still something to consider (particularly if you do go out for coffee).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Dan is OTM - this is all good, Graham, and particularly creditable when feeling rotten.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 12 December 2002 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

oh how fun. well, what i'd do now i think is while this carries on just being a library ting don't go up and chat to her again for a little while (provided you see her fairly regular) cos now yr in her head and you've implanted the compliment, and even a compliment from somweone she didn't like will scramble her brane a little. don't worry about the no instant response from her; it prolly shocked her whatever her intentions cos it was quite clumsy... but endearingly so i think. or shockingly confident. whateva. while she reflects on the compliment take it cool and don't live up to what she thinks you are now: the predator always on the prowl. just smile a little more than you would normally maybe say hey. if she comes to you then ok cos it's her ball. when you think she's a little unsure whether yr chasing or whether she just imagined it then go for it again suddenly

― bob zemko (bob), Thursday, 12 December 2002 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...

This thread is funny but totally unhelpful. My favorite parts are Josh's advice to "wave your arms real big too like there is a plane coming in over her head " and Graham's map of the computer lab.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

when they wait for you to get into work, and then spend the rest of the day trying to make you laugh with whatever few funny things they can come up with after some effort.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

They're constantly staring at your crotch during conversation.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

My favorite part of the thread is where Mary says she hates nothing more than she hates "calculated breeziness" and I immediately yell "bnw to thread"! What was I implying there? bnw, I apologize for whatever I meant by that. I still fancy you even if you are insincerely breezy.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I don't get that either. Maybe it was an inside joke we understood a year ago? I am much more insincerely deep then anything. "Hey ladies, wanna read my sonnets?"

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha!

bnw = total hottness

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm amazed that even in a thread where I'm largely giving serious advice I still managed to make a whole bunch of awful jokes. When did I decide all of my posts should be sub-sitcom banter?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

*canned audience laughter*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

When you started taking paychecks from the Wayans brothers?

damn you and your x-posts Raggett!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't be too hard on yourself Dan, I think you offered a lot of good advice.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan's serious posts are a fine thing. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I think this is my best ilx joke ever. (That means out of like 3.)

Bump into her and then apologize!

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), December 5th, 2002 10:10 AM.

That so should have been my answer for the sexual technique thread.

-- bnw (rilke...), December 5th, 2002 10:14 AM.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

bnw, I can only assume we had a really awesome party on Nov. 22, 2002.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the one that keeps killing me.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

That exchange made sense to me last year but I am puzzled now. I can only assume that I was harping on bnw at Lakeside for similar (though I can't remember the context, and can only remember last year raggin on bnw re Gilmores . . .) Maybe more of my unsolicited advice that G. loves so much? (This thread is cute.)

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

eleven months pass...

Ask her out for muffin.

THIS NOW HAS A HORRIBLE NEW MEANING TO ME!

― Starry (hello chickens), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://agog.net/batgirl/images/muffin.gif

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally and Tom?

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Thursday, 11 November 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

i can't believe i've never posted to this thread.

i'm terrible at divining other people's thoughts. sometimes i'm convinced someone fancies me, and it turns out they don't. other times i wouldn't have guessed it in a million years, and it turns out they do. usually it's somewhere in the middle.

i think it's good to just ask, or rather, to say you fancy them. except if it's possible say it in a charming way. don't get all stuttery and emo. that way they'll have a funny/charming moment to recall whether it worked out or not.

this is my advice.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 22:26 (twenty years ago)

I'm like Amateurist - except that nobody ever *does* fancy me.

(The first inkling I had that my most recent ex-bf might fancy me a bit was when we were in the pub, I was telling somebody something, and he said "yes, I read that on your blog" in a certain way)

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 06:50 (twenty years ago)

the only people have fancied me (relatively) recently are people who already have girlfriends. i can never tell until the awkward moment they ask me out and i have to say 'errrrr no. dude you have a girlfriend! and also i don't fancy you'. i wonder if i give off some kind of weird mistress vibe.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:13 (twenty years ago)

I don't know if someone fanices me, but I know if someone doesn't fancy me. It's because they're breathing. [/self-pity]

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:15 (twenty years ago)

I don't think anyone's ever fancied me in any kind of intense way.

― Kate / We'll always be together in electric dreams (papa november), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:18 (twenty years ago)

No one's ever fancied me either. Not even Laura. I am fundamentally unfanciable.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:22 (twenty years ago)

well i guess you have to caveat that with "that i'm aware of" before declaring it a fundamental trait.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:26 (twenty years ago)

I was chatting up a friend of mine the other night when we were out for drinks, and she kept playing with her hair. I reckon I could well be in if I wanted to be, but I'm keen on someone else.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:27 (twenty years ago)

the only person i've fancied of late (and by that i mean for about the last 6 months) works at my local record shop. i thought he'd left as i haven't seen him for a few weeks. but he was there when i went in today! my heart did little flipflops. i've never spoken to him very much so i don't know if he fancies me. i highly doubt it.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:29 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)

You can't believe everything you saw on ITV the other week.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:29 (twenty years ago)

i can't figure it out, generally. but i don't really care, i jump in with both feet anyways.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:30 (twenty years ago)

I am terrible at misreading signs. Generally, I mistake any kind of friendliness for fancying.

However, if a guy touches me when he talks (hands, upper arm, small of back, that sort of thing) then I think he fancies me. If I touch him back, that means the fancying is mutual.

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:30 (twenty years ago)

The worst bit about fancying someone at a place you frequent is the likelihood that acting on your feelings will result in your subsequent visits being awkward. Of course, maybe he does fancy you!

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:32 (twenty years ago)

I get a bit unnerved when someone I know for a fact doesn't fancy me comes on all tactile. I reassure myself that they're just being friendly, but sometimes it worries me.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:33 (twenty years ago)

xpost - yeah that's part of the reason i never say anything to him, i'd never be able to give up going to the record shop. also i'm crippled by shyness.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:33 (twenty years ago)

i have never touched kate.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:36 (twenty years ago)

It's natural to fancy boys in record shops, soundmen, etc. But thing is, they get it all the time.

In my life, I have only ever known *one* person who actually pulled the cute record shop assistant. Of course, he had an English accent, a PhD in mathematics and a 1000+ CD collection.

x-post... only in my dreams, Stence, only in my dreams. ;-)

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:36 (twenty years ago)

word MC, getting touched by "platonic" (dread word) friends of the opposite sex, except for the formal hug ect ect, is a bit disconcerting for me.

― N_Rq, Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:37 (twenty years ago)

ok so to recap, if i develop an english accent, do a doctorate and triple my cd collection i have a chance with the recordshop dude? crikey. better get cracking.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:40 (twenty years ago)

i was the soundguy AND the bartender AND the guy who booked the show tonight and nobody said anything. : (

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:40 (twenty years ago)

that's not entirely true, l3xi3 was nice but she lives in baltimore and i don't stand a chance anyway.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:41 (twenty years ago)

but record shop assistants also get paid dirt-poor salaries. no good having 1000+ cds if you have to flog them off every three months to pay your rent.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:41 (twenty years ago)

Ah, see, if you'd been doing the merch booth and selling the records, you'd have been in like Flynn. ;-)

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:42 (twenty years ago)

i've done that too! just not tonight. and i only had sex twice during that tour.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:42 (twenty years ago)

Sex twice during a tour?

Man, what I'd give to have had sex twice this *year*!

(Oh wait, yes, I have, just.)

Not touring. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong. There was the most beautiful man on the tube this morning. Now if we'd been in a tourvan and not a tube, he would have been *mine*. He kept looking at me and giving this kind of half-smile. I'm not sure if it was a flirtly halfsmile or an "oh my god, you're scary and I'm afraid you're going to knife me" half smile.

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:44 (twenty years ago)

this was two years ago, kate. haven't been on tour since.

you'll never meet anyone in a subway, ever.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:45 (twenty years ago)

it's kinda of hard to be fancied when you got three tasks at the same time, though, stence.. don't be down. :(

― donut debonair (donut), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

That's not true. I met no less than *two* boys on the N train.

The first one took me out for coffee a few times, but then went off on tour. :-(

The second one, we talked about architecture all the way to 30th Avenue, he gave me his phone number and I LOST IT WHEN I PUT MY JEANS THROUGH THE WASH!!! He was gorgeous, as well. I took out an ad on the back of the Village Voice, but never found him again. :-(

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:47 (twenty years ago)

i dunno, i'd never talk to a pretty girl on the train, it just seems too creepy.

esp. at the odd hours i ride it (got home at 3:30 am tonight).

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:49 (twenty years ago)

i can think of many words that could possibly describe me, but "gorgeous" is not one of them.

not feelin' all down, just sayin'. no one will ever say that about me. i'm fine with it! actually, it seems kinda weird, but i guess i've said that some girls are gorgeous, hmm, whatever.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:51 (twenty years ago)

(xpost x 2)

That's New York, though. In London I always find it safest to assume that in the unlikely event of anyone smiling at me, it's because they're going to knife me, so I maintain my DON'T TRY IT countenance on public transport at all times.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:52 (twenty years ago)

Man, those were the days, when all I needed to pull was a guitar case and the N train. :-(

I'll never have sex again now...

x-post the odd hours were when I welcomed it the most. Boy Number One, I was being harrassed after a gig by a streetperson, he walked up to me, took me by the arm and said "Hey, honey, how are you?" and walked me down to the end of the platform. I was really grateful coz the harrasser left me alone sharpish.

He had a lovely Southern accent, too. You gotta work the accent thing, Stence.

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:52 (twenty years ago)

yes marcello, the subways in new york are known for their safe and friendly riders at all hours.

i saw like, i dunno, three very pretty women on the train tonight? i kinda assume they don't wanna be bothered. and quite honestly i think it smacks of desparation, a little.

my accent only comes back when i'm in kentucky and/or drunk. : (

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

Who knows, it's a situational thing. I liked the sort of "all in it together" subway chatter a lot better than the cold, impersonal "DON'T TRY IT" desperation of the tube.

It's a funny thing. I can live with the idea that I'm never going to have sex or be in a relationship ever again. But the idea I'll never be randomly fancied again makes me really deeply unhappy.

Is that really arrogant? Or just human nature?

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:58 (twenty years ago)

I could live with the idea of never having sex again if i wasn't MARRIED.

― Kate / We'll always be together in electric dreams (papa november), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)

both

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

i can't live with the idea i'll never have sex again. i'm hoping i will! eventually. signs aren't particularly good though.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

where does this idea that you'll never have sex or be in a relationship OR be randomly fancied again come from? it seems kinda strange, and almost sad, that you think that way about yourself.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

after the xposts, that became a general question to everybody.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

i mean, i'm kinda assuming that all three of those things will happen to me again at some point. of course, wouldn't it be just typical if after saying that, i'm proven wrong?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

multi-x-post will start another post.

I'm thinking about this a bit. Maybe it was because I was younger, and therefore more open to people and/or experiences when I lived in NYC. Maybe it's because NYC is a city that's more naturally friendly to strangers than London.

Chatting to strangers on the subway felt very natural. It's kind of dance, if you smile at someone, and they smile back, you make a neutral comment of the "man, the N train sucks, but at least it's not the R, huh?" and if they reply openly, you've got a conversation, and if they reply guardedly or noncommittally you leave them alone.

I used to be good at that sort of thing. I wonder what happened. Oh yeah, England happened. ;-)

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

i don't care if i never have sex again. it's the dichotomy between "loneliness" and "loneness" that bothers me.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

Do english accents go down well in the US? As those who've met me know, I have a most pronounced english accent - maybe I should go the US and pull all the cute chix0rs like in Love Actually.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:05 (twenty years ago)

(self xpost)

i.e. the "loneliness" of it'll-never-happen-again vs. the "loneness" of maybe-i'm-just-meant-to-be-a-loner.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:05 (twenty years ago)

This coffeeshop I go to whenever I need to write out of my apartment has about 3 or 4 regulars who always sit alone, watching every female that enters, and if she's attractive and has an "in" they can exploit as a conversation starter (carrying a book, speaking another language), they do it. Go right up to them in line or sit down next to them and begin talking. I've yet to see a woman who wasn't annoyed by this.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:05 (twenty years ago)

I don't mind not having sex again if it's my choice, not just because I married a man who by his own admission is gay or straight just not interested full stop.

― WE ARE THE KATE!!!! (papa november), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:06 (twenty years ago)

by his own admission is gay or straight just not interested full stop.

I mean isn't!

― WE ARE THE KATE!!!! (papa november), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

I don't think I'll ever have sex again or be in a relationship because... well... it was something someone said on one of the anonymous advice threads. I don't *have* another breakup in me. I can't go through that again.

I was just thinking about the randomly fancied thing. I have actually had a couple of random flirtation/fancying experiences in the past few weeks, and it was really nice. I couldn't live without that. While I could live without sex or relationships.

x-post, Johnney - in America, with your accent and your charm, you would be the mack daddy with the anglophile indie chiX0rs.

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

new thread!

where does this idea that you'll never have sex or be in a relationship OR be randomly fancied again come from?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

yep that seems a bit unfair kate, the choice has been removed from it somewhat

Go right up to them in line or sit down next to them and begin talking.

no one has done this to me for years

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

When I was in America for a year - everybody *loved* my accent. However, I was too shy/stupid to actually notice that people liked it. So yes, the Love Actually trick might work (closest I got was a girl spending all night drunkenly by side at a party. She tried to get me to go home with her. However, I was a little glad that I didn't in the end, as I found out a week later that she was engaged...)

― carson dial (carson dial), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

Coffee shop (or bar) lotharios are generally quite easy for a women to spot.

Random people stuck in the same situation (bad subway line) has an element of randomness - I doubt that any men hang out on the N train, waiting for a young woman to get hassled.

― WE ARE THE KATE!!! (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:12 (twenty years ago)

http://www.freakytrigger.co.uk/pictures/monument-valley-goats-40.1.jpg

(that feels right)

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

oh i can't be arsed to work out why that failed right now

http://www.freakytrigger.co.uk/pictures/monument-valley-goats-40.1.jpg

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:43 (twenty years ago)

ok it works on p3r but not wh3rd. time to change ft's htacess AGANE

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:45 (twenty years ago)

YAY (stop talking to self now)

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:45 (twenty years ago)

you'll never meet anyone in a subway, ever.

The train or the sarnie shop? Or both?

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 10:18 (twenty years ago)

I was talking about the train.

I did once have a flirtation with a boy in the sandwich shop over the lock-in loo, but then his girlfriend arrived. :-(

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

people fancy me a lot, but never do anything about it.

so how do i know they fancy me? well.. i just KNOW that they do!!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 10:46 (twenty years ago)

I still have no idea!

Though I did convince myself that this woman who was facilitating a focus group I attended recently did fancy me, as:

a) her foot kept pointing towards me.
b) at one stage she bought her toes together.
c) but damn, as if I'd do anything about it.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

don't do it, folx!

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 8 April 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.gosh.org/get_involved/your_school/kids/images/hall_of_fame.gif

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Friday, 3 November 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

Get the old chap out, bounce it off her head. If she hasn't called the police she fancies you.

― Darramouss (Darramouss ftw), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

I met this girl last night, and I was getting on really well with her, better than I've got on with agirl in ages, and I think she was sending out signals. Like a cunt I chickened out of getting her number. We live in opposite corners of London, so there's no chance of bumping into her. She's a friend of friend of a friend, so wouldn't be too hard to track down, but would it be weird and stalky to do so?

― chap who would dare to welcome our new stingray masters (chap), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

get in touch with her! especially if you aren't likely to bump into her... if she says no, it won't matter as you won't see her again. i'd be terribly flattered if someone i chatted to at a party went to the trouble of getting my number from a friend of a friend.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

why would 'Hall Of Fame' be written on a wooden sign post?

dumbest graphic ever

― banrique (blueski), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

well if by 'not hard' you mean secretly rifling through your friends phone book/diary/blogs then yes that would be stalkery. But I'm sure there's nothing wrong with just asking your mates if you could get in touch with her.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I'm thinking I probably will. I might try and engineer a gathering which she'd be invited to first, though.

xpost to gear.

― chap who would dare to welcome our new stingray masters (chap), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

answer to original post: check their favoured internet hang-outs. if they ask a lot of total strangers if they should try to get in touch with you, you've got a real keeper.

― benrique (Enrique), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

gear?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

yeah after i posted that i was thinking... you might want to get the friend of a friend to check that it's ok to give you her number rather than just cold-calling. but an engineered group gathering is even better! good luck. report back!

(i think he meant me RJG)

― gem (trisk), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

Yes I did.

― chap who would dare to welcome our new stingray masters (chap), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:27 (nineteen years ago)

I have outsourced my wooing to a number of diligent graduates in bangalore.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:28 (nineteen years ago)

how's that working out for you?

― gem (trisk), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

OK although I suspect a couple of them to be wooing on their own account, the one who uses the steve identity recently married an english girl.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:30 (nineteen years ago)

ah well. it's good karma to be a matchmaker so i've heard.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:32 (nineteen years ago)

Give your number to your friend to give to her. Put the ball in her court and it's impossible to look stalkery.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:42 (nineteen years ago)

stevem is from bangalore?

my wooing branch has turned into a trendy wine bar :(

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

xpost if you're already putting the ball in her court i don't think you'll have problems getting her number.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

Update: Talking about Transformers didn't work, FFS.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:15 (nineteen years ago)

whenever I think somebody likes me, I'm usually...wrong. SO, I DON'T KNOW! but I agree that the original poster should get in contact with said chick, cause what do you have to lose?

― gunther heartymeal (keckles), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:29 (nineteen years ago)

Keep checking "Missed Connections" on Craig's List.

― Jena (JenaP), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.