Fuck Off Back To The Little Leagues: EPL 21/22

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/05/30/19/2934E79F00000578-3103929-image-a-30_1433011704858.jpg

They're ready

https://www.footballfancast.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Joe-Willock-celebrates-2.jpg

They're bloody mad for it

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps/624/cpsprodpb/106B7/production/_119155276_gettyimages-1326328128.jpg

He's grinning for some reason

Leno: not ready

wa-hey!

🙂

Its good

Very clear penalty

^he's all too ready

A whole season of looking at this thread title :(

you'll love it by september. love it

and let's face it, I spared you someone concocting something ever so delightfully covid-related

I salute Brentford, the new champions.

We'll come up with a better one and its only friday tbf

had your chance imo

It was an unpleasant and awkwardly-timed quandary for us, but we've got to put it behind us, get on with it and wring whatever scant enjoyment we can from the coming season

I quite like oppo fans giving Saka the respect applause, I am beyond being able to hardman that it means the game's gone or whatever

Arsenal getting Delapped again is so beautiful

Kind of hard to argue Leno wasn’t being impeded, tbh.

Roffle

deems in with the 'foul on the keeper' in 3...2...

oh SV got there first lol

Leno isnt impeded hes just surrounded

Joke defending

Fifty years ago a defence would deal with a throw-in that did not initially appear likely to beat the first man

Carragher's gone 1.0 Savage

You could let a ball bounce twice in the street

carra will have relished the opportunity to put the boot in on the arsenal

And you know why? It was oudda respect

both of Brentford's subs being called Mads is somehow hilarious

Danish moneyball regens all the way down

and a Marcus to ruin it

that's a fairly amazing save

Thy was quite a Pro Evo (RIP) passage of play all round

Brilliant save, lovely cutback and hit

Well, that's a vibe

Per a friend

I am not an Arsenal fan, I am an Arsenal masochist. Get it right.

— Spin Lizzy (@hairmetaldad) August 13, 2021

They won't get to play arsenal every week but great start for brentford. Toney looked the business despite not scoring

Actual takeons in the box, forgot that was even allowed

A breath of fresh air indeed

I'm too deeply ensconced in petty old little league feuds to wish Brentford too much goodwill. I want to see them a getting proper arseholing at some point. And the manager is a fucking tool.

classic calz

Posts vmic

Arteta really is the David Brent of football, his pep lite football theories simply don't harness much of the talent he has at his disposal. A man lost in sexy football lingo and ideas but unable to see what's in front of him, arteta out...from an arsenal fan!!. Ben White was soo slow to react for both goals, what a nightmare start, welcome to the club, pal!!

that said, i didn't see much preseason but was impressed by partey and felt nkeitah was very sharp and ready.....then both are injured and out for weeks, then BOTH laca and auba get injured days before the season starts?!? Brentford deserved the win against our cursed lot!!

Pogba has three assists inside an hour.

And Bruno completes his hat-trick

Brentford's plunge down the table begins

David Brentford

Fourth Pogba assist too.

I hope Lewis O'Brien is watching this

Leicester - Wolves an absolute cracker at the moment

Chelsea contenders imo

Given how shit everything else is in this country why not

O fuck beautiful pass from Mou, Adama tears through the centre halfs then slots it wide

Near sitter ffs

This is why he's always gonna be "limited"

Not sure having BITCH on our shirt sleeves is a good look

Fucks sake beautifully worked Leicester goal, Vardy being a clinical cunt as per

Shocking defending between Moutinho and Marcal tho

Controversial I know but for a late bloomer Vardy is stupidly talented

Villa have been horrible

Starting to suspect that losing Grealish might actually turn out to be a pretty significant setback

Oof just seen the half time scores

Fucks sake Villa, Watford delenda est

"a touch of fortune" about that second Watford goal tbf

they're probably not even scum any more, still carrying the stigma of the Pearson phase

in the absence of a new Little Leagues thread i just wanna briefly lol Derby btw

11 minutes of injury time well deployed by Ferguson jr.

I've been watching Chelsea v Palace as a proxy for My Mother, but I thought I was 1/4 of the way to £50,000 with Armstrong scoring for Soto. It's only at halftime I've realised that was ADAM Armstrong, not Stuart, so that's all fucked already. Oh well.

If Football Manager has taught me anything it's never back Stuart Armstrong

Yeah that should be my yearbook quote

Second Adama shot and it's straight at the keeper

I feel like we've been much better than the idiot spoilt brat section of our fans wanted to think we would be but there's very little edge at the moment, needs a signing or two before the end of the month

much better performance than my worst imaginings but obv it sucks when you can't score. cautiously thinking we've got the makings of something tho

Teemu Pukki has been a fucking wasteman since, what, 2 months into their last Prem season? I was trying to fashion a Niemi-based gag about "he's not Finnish! He's only..." but turns out he's 31, yeah he's finished

Second Adama shot and it's straight at the keeper

His muscles get in the way

pretty sure he's about as good as he's ever gonna be and i wouldn't cry if we took daft money for him but today was a classic example of why nobody will offer daft money for him

still love you boo

made up for Chalobah getting a goal on his debut, he was good for us but I thought he might not make it at Chelsea.

well tbh he was a bit dodgy for us, but we played him in midfield and in a very shit side, but he did show potential and was a 100%er.

It looks like Tuchel might actually rate Chalobah? I expect a Rudiger/Thiago/Chalobah back 3 going forward, Christiansen is useless, Zouma is a lump and possibly away, I actually watched whatever they called that wee London pre-season tournament and yeah Chalobah seems worth persevering with

yeah he played him in the Super Cup last week as well, looks like he's in there.

Kounde still a target from all you read but apparently its rudiger considered most vulnerable

didn't Chalobah start life as a DM? good learning curve if you can make the switch to being a centre half with more in your armory than hoofing it

yeah I think he did. A bit like yer man Coady

yeah. never want to play him in a 2 tho

Brighton continue to suffer bullshit reffing

God Tarkowski is a cunt

ASM masterclass for the goal.

This is great fun.

Kane not in the squad today.

well, yeah

Fernandinho bossing things thus far

I fear for Tanganga here but he’s just about holding his own at the moment.

Tanganga clearly Spurs best player

Theres not a man in the back five id fear for any less

Skipp and hojberg decent cover

Alli looks bettwr

Also, who is the alternative?

Dier is our next best right back, like

Not saying its mouras season but hes had a proper pre season and his skillset will benefit from some strikers heading away from him instead of towards him

Midfield is fucken wide open for whichever team wants to take it

I've never seen Anthony Taylor actually be in control of a match ever

Think hes been good so far!

The front three here are not doing too well at giving the ball carrier options but we are running it to good effect tbh

Son is a great player who just needs some better service to be a consistent goal scorer

Like, Harry Kane sitting deep

I'm aware that's not some massive insight, just when Spurs buy their Kane replacement they should look for a provider and bet all the goalscoring marbles on Son, I think he's up to it

Hes a much more direct player if kane isnt central demanding it but tbf he also benefits hugely at times from kanes passing and how much kane occupies centre halves

I think a player who can hold it up and be a focal point up front would be a decent purchase because theres more in our other attackers than they have shown with kane taking up so much of the pitch space

Decent on break again but starting to allow 2 vs 1 against tanganga which would be unfortunate

Very decent player rly

Yeah I had to run out the house to take a picture of a cat my mother doesn't believe exists, but clearly Son doesn't require any service whatsoever

Sanchez reverting to "I'll stand here and hope nothing bad happens" there, got away with it

^^my yearbook quote

Wonderful performance.

Kinda desperate at the end, but yeah

loves a game against City does Nuno

Wow!

That was comfortable after ten mins

The tracking from midfield was super, the individual decisions on marshalling and tackling really, really good

A lovely start

Grealish P2 L2

It'll pretty disappointing if the nation's sweetheart is a flop this season.

Ftr I'm pretty pro Jack, but I reserve the right to enjoy the above statistic. Was pretty comfortable for Spurs too

great game. spurs rb doing his fouling properly ie when facing towards opponents goal not towards his own. lucas brilliant ball carrying. city transition defence pathetic. levy should add 30m to whatever he's quoting city for kane after that.

satisfying table atm - ten sides on 3 points, ten sides on 0

also the bees and the hornets are after the toffees

If erik lamela turns back into a twenty goal man ill quit football again

this is extremely grim

This is a tough read (be warned).

The court documents, obtained by @TheAthleticUK, about culture of ‘racist bullying’ at Chelsea in the 1990s.

One coach, Graham Rix, accused of throwing scalding coffee over the head of a black youth-team player.
https://t.co/KKtV9UZbkD

— Daniel Taylor (@DTathletic) August 19, 2021

jfc

Graham Rix who claimed there were "mitigating circumstances" when he got a prison sentence for for having underage sex with a 15-year-old girl.

served six months and was immediately rehired by Chelsea

A black work colleague once told me that one of the coaches at the Town youth set-up was a real nasty, racist piece of work + once called him an unreliable, lazy fucker in a snarling rant with spit flying everywhere after he missed an away youth fixture through no fault of his own. He was waiting at the arranged pick-up point for over an hour but the mini-bus never arrived because they'd changed the pick-up point and relayed this important message to his 6 year old sister over the phone. In the end his mum pulled him out of there over a racist incident that he didn't expand on. I imagine the Chelsea set-up was perhaps a more extreme case of that era, but not completely unusual.

Tottenham manager Nuno on Ndombele situation: “I can be completely honest with you, Tanguy is not going to be involved in the squad on Sunday”, he said to @jonathandveal83. ⚪️ #THFC

Spurs board are now looking for a solution in order to sell Ndombele in the next 12 days.

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 20, 2021

Hope that goal stands

Never enough to say it was a clear and definite game stopping foul, he flings himself down looking for it

Ref backs down

The Mings/Ings connection has produced its first spectacular scissor kick, as was foretold

hopefully the 2nd "shit noddy teams on quest" fixture of this day will actually feature some goals and and perhaps some prem quality entertainment for the neutral!

well i gots to say i'm genuinely excited for this one

Too early in the season for the ILX Derby

good time imo, everything still fresh and possible, still wanna see how Lage has changed things without much in the way of incoming transfers yet

I sort of expect Wolves to have a start like Brighton did last season where they have a tough run and play well in a bunch of games they don't win

But...could it be Very Much a Case of After the Lord Mayor's Show for Spurs?

We'll find out in the ILX Derby. It's up next - and it's liiii-

the Brighton thing feels quite possible, on the other hand we really shd have got something from last week, on the other other hand we really need to strengthen the centre of defence/midfield, tragically new cult hero curvy Colombian hardman Yerson Mosquera is still out

lot of our Twitter nobs have spent the week fighting about how much they should cheer for Nuno or not ffs

Kane roundly booed by Wolves fans when getting off the bus. He’s on the bench today.

Thatll dampen the "kane to wolves" story sky sports have been trying to make happen

he could do a job off the bench for Raul tbfftl

Oh they put Raul together again

No sarcasm enjoying this American punditry

And it's HI HO

Fuck that was heavy

Face rather than head by the looks of it thank fuck

Hugely unnecessary and idk hes gone for it

Fucks sake pen and a yellow no question

Wouldnt mind it not given

He shouldve just fucking scored obv

That pass seemed very easily found tbh

Game on

As I said, centre halfs need strengthening

Ah from that angle the keepers body contact is probably counting as a check tbf

Think traore isnt done vs tanganga yet

Ach he's on his way down before the contact. Well taken pen tho

Yeah I watched the replay before I said it, can't moan

Think we all kinda agree its easy given and probably unnecessarily bought

Skipp what u at

Seen give

Basically

Adama in an out of nowhere there, he ain't perfect but fuck me he's a rheillee

Thriller

Autocorrect is weird

I wouldn't have gave that either, trying to buy it rather than Playing The Actual Fucken Game

Yebbut .... in context it was a chance to even up somewhat- they werent bang-on equivalent but still

Well we are winning this

When Dier is competently covering a decent cross it aint yr day

This is totally looking like an eventual Wolves win tho

Like one of those late wins they were doing a few seasons ago

Not sure tanganga is himself after that rattle tbh

Trincao is a sexy mf

Basically

Adama in an out of nowhere there, he ain't perfect but fuck me he's a rheillee

― Tumbledown Duck (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 August 2021 14:15 (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Thriller

― Tumbledown Duck (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 August 2021 14:15 (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Uncorrected version is OK imo

Lol

Think bergwijn could do something today

First sanchez of the day

Skipp son u aint that guy

Bergwijn's whole Spurs career is constantly looking like nearly doing something

This tempo suits us so much better than last season's snoreball

Lol thats something from traore

The fuck does neves think he is?

Me?

Praise from Caesar

Few soft calls for ye here now

Skipp annoyed Lucas wasnt tracking back so left without the shout, enjoyable pettiness

Great move

Ooh fuck

The kind of football pep/mou would tell you isnt actually possible

Traore seems actually effective here, he might have A Season

That was yr only option sanchez? Oh my lord gonna be a long one

Yeah hmm Wolves have got something here haven't they

Not least because Adama is just categorically not interested in being disposessed

Adama wants away but if he plays like this to get it I'll live with that

Southampton currently looking surprisingly good against United. Fernandes got robbed dawdling on the ball and Adams has put them 1-0 up.

Saying that Lage's tactics absolutely work for him

Hes great in his way but many times he has shown hes containable

We dont seem interested in doing that tbh

Always bemuses me how "midfielders passing like shit" is so often put down by spurs fans online as a managerial tactic

Ah bergwijn ffs

Might put that one on my clipboard

Stupid from tanganga given what he has in front of him

Shite challenge that

As I've said a hundred times Adama's great at what he does but ultimately not great altogether

Marcal is just fragile

Bergwijn with the expression of a man that knows hes fodder in a rocky montage

Lol praised Ait-Nourri on the wrong rhread

Thats never a yellow tbh

Naughty tackle, not nasty

Stream stopped for a sec, it was giveable tho

Was it Biscuits who invoked Brighton? Lot of that from us this half?

Yeah i guess sanchez prob shouldve been booked for the hold earlier

This is silly from spurs, begging for pressure when we aren't good at dealing with it

You can tell a mile off reguilon had no idea there was a man there which idk beggars belief tbh

Great cross that

great match again so far

match and a half of watching Lage but i'm into it

If Wolves had gone in 1-1 I would expect them to win this, but at this point yeah it's Brighton

Hate when its a lage stream tbh

obv thing to say but every bit of Prem i've seen this season has been "what were you lazy fucks playing at last season?"

really vulnerable to a counter and not enough cutting edge from the Wolves yet but i could watch this all season

the inevitable Kane introduction on 60' will prolly win it

But yes, helluva match so far

Raul is a great all round baller and important for us but he's streaky in a way Kane isn't

the lack of belief in Neves from some of our alleged fans has driven me nuts the last year - all they see is whether he's cunted one from 35 yds but as a defensive mid/deep-lying playmaker he's the heart of our team, love Moutinho but really we need somebody more box to box and driving alongside Ruben

very Nuno situation now apart from the first half goal tho, Spurs can suck this up if they're capablbe and hit us again on the break

sorry i'm drunk and i missed proper football

wanna see the boy Fabio get a go as a poacher at some point

Traore -> Fabio seems such a natural goalscoring route to me but what the fuck do I know

Fabio's still a kid and doesn't have the deep-sitting/bringing the wide lads into skills that Raul has yet but he's got to be an option and i still totally believe once he starts scoring he'll not stop

I hyped him up a little start of last season and it didn't really work out, I am not a great football mind, I called Cathroball as the future of the sport

Not sure what mourinho is at here if he doesnt change it up a bit tbh

lol definitely not claiming to be a great football mind either but i love him

So is the pronouciation "Trin-cow" as these commentators use? I've been saying "Trin-sow" for months and potentially feel like a dick now

Son shouldve squared that

I started with the s sound but I think Portuguese makes it a k sound

If it was, as i think, bergwijn, idk tbh

Reguilon will you stay on yr feet and play the fucking ball lad

Spurs fucking up when they've got the ball quite often and we're not taking advantage

Pure Brighton

Seeing reguilon get props but his passing has been awful bar the pen

Dier you clown

Adama why you break my heart?

Pen shout imo

Bewildering from dier and reguilon again

FUIUUCK

Godammit I'm clearly a few minutes behind youse, yeah cmon Traore...

When I think about the two against City a coupl of seasons back it's just

Actually on replay that's impressive from Lloris

That was actually ok from bergwijn that

I love lo celso but his passing decisions arent any better than the guys out there already giving it away for fun

Is this collymore on commentary lads he is an idiot

Pen surely

Clueless defending again and again

I've got Lee Hendry and some other lad idk

on NBC? pretty sure it's not Collymore, dunno who it is

Kane shirting up

Once we got past the hour mark I assumed he wouldn't appear, but ok

Lol just seen the Sou-MU score

If hes not good enough for city to replace jesus with i cant see him doing anything here tbh

Bergwijn looks defeated in his own head long before he allows it to happen on the pitch

I am not as shocked as the commentary at him repacing Son, who unlike the first game has done fuckall

Carrying a bit of a knock from early on id think

Showing why the lone striker role cant just be given anyone tho

Slow as fuck from alli and utterly lacking in belief from bergwijn

Get up alli u fool

This is lush but agonising/infuriating

Sa earning his money

Styles from bergwijn but lads

Jesus we are rotten at putting a clearance into a decent spot or following up a bounce

Keeper keeping ye in it

Hojbjerg idiotic there. Ten things you couldve done instead of that

Last days of Coady imo

This has been nonsense

I would probably not allow traore choose to mark reguilon under that kickout but hey

Best period of the game for Spurs imo

Not winks pls no

The only player you couldve subbed on for bergwijn and made us mentally weaker

Interesting to see how we lose from here

42 shots without scoring over the first two games is pretty impressive.

In the other game, United were lousy. Created next to nothing, even with Sancho and Lingard on. Ended 1-1.

great game of football really

Can't say losing two is good but in light of the Cassandras and how we've actually played I'm encouraged for the season

Wd rather be nu-Leeds than go thru another season like the last one

In the other game, United were lousy. Created next to nothing, even with Sancho and Lingard on. Ended 1-1.

This isn't completely accurate. We bossed it for the middle 60 minutes but were completely shite for the first and last 15

some shocking decisions from the manager though e.g. starting Matic, who's been done for at least two seasons. The midfield is going to be a huge problem again this year, but sure we all knew that

Arsenal actually got this, no fluidity to Chelsea at all

oh well

Well whaT fuck do I knoe...

Arsenal have 'got' nothing lmao

(not typing, appparently)

Lukaku proper rheilee

The most rheillee

Arsenal... still look better? (loving these stripy socks btw)

Actually Arsenal have no midfield, this will be 3-0

that's a penalty, first nailed on decision i've seen today

Will nothing arrest the mecha-stomp of Chelsea to the quadruple City spurned?

Chelsea will win the league, possibly FA cup too. CL lol no. League cup will be someone random, or Fucken City Again. Ian Cathro will be Prime Minister, yeah what the fuck do I know...

Actually WREXAM for the FA Cup

*WREXHAM

PSG CL

Arsenal have one (1) player, his name is Kieran Tierney

I have exactly 3 notions: Tierney = Player, Lukaku = rheillee, Cathro = future Necastle manger

(4) vodka

Tierney was culpable for both goals

^^^not rheillee

Told Tottenham bid for Adama Traore is anticipated by Wolves before window closes. Lage is anticipating more signings. Question is whether the two are linked.

— Simon Stone (@sistoney67) August 23, 2021

Arsenal have one player and his name is Partey, no Partey, no party. Trying to play the control obsessed, joyless anti football of fashist ken doll, Arteta, is obviously going to break him.

Lamela has scored the same number of league goals in 90 minutes playing for Sevilla as he did in his last two seasons at Spurs combined.

I suspect Ndombele will thrive wherever he ends up too.

Doesnt make either a bad sale for spurs tbf sunken cost fallacy etc

Of course youd look at ndombele and easy know how the cost was sunk the fat shite

Finwlly

we are concentrating on the league obv. but no need for our manager to sub Sinani and bring on our L1 standard right-back just at the point we had 10 man Everton under the cosh. We were royally arseholing them before Moise Kean had his moment btw.

It was incredible to see the reception from the Spurs fans on Sunday and to read some of the messages of support I've had in the last few weeks. 👏⚽

I will be staying at Tottenham this summer and will be 100% focused on helping the team achieve success. #COYS pic.twitter.com/uTN78tHlk1

— Harry Kane (@HKane) August 25, 2021

bless him, he's come through with his dignity intact

lol at kane
I will be staying at Tottenham this summer and will be 100% focused on .. making sure I get that fucking move done next summer

I think hes the type that doesnt know how to play within himself, and you own players on a year by year basis anyway it seems, so im not bothered what his plans are for next year tbh once we get another fifty games from him this

What an ass he made of himself tho

https://www.irishexaminer.com/sport/soccer/arid-40366721.html

Expert level

lol, his brother announcing it was a done deal at his wedding is such a classic.

mark my words, you wouldn't want to play chess with Charlie Kane.

I mean thats a fact the gormless charmless clueless berk

Kane angling for a new contract and £400k a week, apparently.

See no reason to give it tbh

Hes as likely to fetch 120m next year as this tbh and a payrise would be a pisstake in the circs

I know it's his team and that but does it raise questions about his ambition? idk

I think he’s seen how serious a really top club is about signing him (not very), he knows Mbappe, Lewandowski and Haaland will all be available in the next 12 months, and he’s just gonna stick at Spurs now forever

Hard to see the case for either party signing an extension at this stage tho

I just think the Kane family has decided it’s too hard to do anything other than stay at Spurs, but at least they can make an even bigger pile of money because now Spurs have seen that Kane is willing to (ineptly) try to force a move and maybe they’re shitting themselves now or something. I don’t think they are very good at this though and I agree there’s no need for Spurs to do anything at all.

Sell him next year for 140 million to whoever doesnt get haaland or mbappe or possibly lewandowski

Ive long thought bayern as the latters replacement his most natural football-only move tbh

But paying him an extra 5m next year only for him to be damned-certain off anyway is nonsense

Holding on to players too big for yr board's ambition is nonsense and id much more welcome a dortmund approach- two more where you came from, our value is as sifter of and platform for young talent

Not like we win anything anyway

Mendy suspended by city after four charges of sexual assault made

I said in the pub a few weeks ago that Chelsea were maybe the only genuine fit for Kane among the big teams then they bought Lukaka for £50M less.

Hed fit a lot of places tbf but we dont deal with them anymore

Kane starts tonight.

Winks playing like bernabeu mode

Absolutely loving this wing based doesnt matter youngster thrill

🚨🚨🌕| PSG have accepted Real Madrid's offer of 170M+10M in bonuses. Mbappé will be in Madrid tomorrow. @jfelixdiaz #rmalive

— Madrid Zone (@theMadridZone) August 26, 2021

I cant keep track anymore is this good or bad

Apparently this genuinely was Mbappe’s boyhood dream so I guess that’s nice but other than that who gives a fuck really - it should feel like a terrible blow for PSG but they have so much money that it’s impossible to care. No stakes, no jeopardy. Obviously amazing for Madrid but fuck them. Barcelona/Atleti the big losers.

Confirmed. Cristiano Ronaldo has definitely decided to LEAVE Juventus and he asked the club to be sold. ❌⚪️⚫️ #Juventus #Ronaldo pic.twitter.com/JCcAwaYX9U

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 26, 2021

It’s all happening,

Mbappe to Madrid, Ronaldo to PSG might make sense.

Possibly not the best week for Man City to be pursuing someone with serious allegations made against him but they seem to be favourites from the gossip.

Ronaldo doesnt make sense to anywhere tbh

Spurs rumoured to have agreed personal terms with Ilaix Moriba, which seems like incredibly good news if true.

lol, he’s also agreed personal terms with RB Leipzig so might not be that fussy.

"frying pan issue needs urgent resolution- all fires considered. PO Box 582"

Sissoko off to Watford

Like a new signing, that

Aurier to Lille looks likely too.

Depending, but yeah

Two sales where the phrase "at any price" comes to mind

My respect for Levy went up a little when I found out he got a transfer fee for Joe Hart, tbh.

It's a disaster for Joe Hart! 😮

AZ Alkmaar get an almost instant response and it's a goal that Celtic's defence and goalkeeper will want to forget 😬 pic.twitter.com/lcG4KdnZh6

— Premier Sports (@PremierSportsTV) August 26, 2021

Salty pep is perhaps the least likeable manager in football

I guess Ronaldo back to Utd is now a thing

I'd rather not tbh

Clearly makes sense to bring Ronaldo back and not do anything about your central midfield

Ronaldo as a 6

OFFICIAL. Cristiano Ronaldo joins Manchester United, official statement from club announces. He’s BACK. 🔴🇵🇹 #MUFC #Ronaldo

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 27, 2021

And may God have mercy on our souls

Tiny news beside moussa sissoko moving to watford for a scarce believable fee

Is he playing centre forward for ye or what dyou reckon NN

The sum total of what Man U have paid to sign CR7 twice is what Villa have just paid for Ollie Watkins.

I...guess? Haven't really watched him for Juve but he still plays in a free role from the left for Portugal. And the left side of the attack is our most stacked area, whereas we definitely lack a reliable poacher type

I've heard that he plays on the left and he plays on the right.

Just heard Ollie say about Cron "such a tremendous human being as well"

He keeps himself in shape and gives a lot to charity what's the problem

that might not go down so well where he is ultimately going!

i've always seen it as people always comparing him to messi, who is a humble and unassuming but great player. ronaldo had a reputation of being selfish, arrogant, and, as they say in baseball, pimping all his goals, especially earlier in his career.

that might not go down so well where he is ultimately going!

― calzino, Saturday, 28 August 2021 00:34 (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

hell?

I'm so very happy for MUFC's stock market value and all the money he gives to charity, but is it verboten to mention he also used his money to try and make a very serious rape allegation disappear?

so it would appear

Morning ☕

No, it wasn't a dream.

— Manchester United (@ManUtd) August 28, 2021

🤮🤮🤮

My god, this Arsenal defending.

Ederson trying his best to help Arsenal out, that's some clown shoes bisnes that I wouldn't expect from even Alisson

Arteta making a big show of "coaching", always with that quick sideways glance down the touchline, he just wants validation, bless

Maybe you should do your Arsenal Are The Better Side Actually thing again so he gets it

Nah, that's saved for the few moments when the opposition looks dodgy, before actual coaching comes into relevance

I will still stan for Tierney any day tho, but when he's expected to play 3 different positions, that's a coaching failure

Arsenal will do well to finish with ten.

Tierney will fill in in MF, obviously

This isn't even an entertaining rout, but it's too hot out to garden so here we are

Sweep hugging Ian Wright at HT, might have seemed sweet if it wasn't so ostentatiously planned and executed

I mean 103 years in the top flight was a really pretty decent run, have to give them credit for that

Herbert Chapman will be birling in his grave!

srsly the best use of this meme i've ever seen

The Amazon cameraman who is filming the Arsenal ‘All Or Nothing’ documentary. pic.twitter.com/KYGDmUhhs3

— FutbolBible (@FutbolBible) August 28, 2021

Fuck off back to the little leagues indeed

47 mins: Keown calls on the Arsenal players to “to play for the shirt, for the club”, which is quite funny.

There's the goal to send them bottom

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E94R2jcXoAQCSu0?format=jpg&name=small

I sit alone in my four-cornered room
Staring at tactical diagrams

Demari fucken Gray, turns out he is an actual football layer

*player obv

Yves Bissoma tho, I love this guy

Please sign for a big club, no-one too scummy hopefully

Haha Rucharlison having to be physically restrained by his teammates from the penalty, DCL being the designated penalty taker

Everton playing in an ORANGE SASH btw, that's two strikes right there, being Everton is the third

Rangers affiliate club obv

absolute scenes

Rather.

lol fucking hell the stats in this arsenal game

from the bbc commentary

Two massive games after the international break - Norwich and Burnley.

I think City had 91% possession in the first thirty minutes of the second half.

i will believe the arsenal relegation after they've played some of the other ropey sides and lost

don't you mean "noddy" sides?

i'd love to see a where are they now for all those lads that thought qualifying for the Champions League every year wasn't good enough

I’m salivating at the prospect of coming last. Never ended up on Arsenal TV though, I was just a numpty on this message board.

Top 4 trophy was a maligned measure of success until arsenal stopped getting it. The Man utd/Liverpool pundit dominence changed their tune very quickly once Wenger lost his long run with arsenal in europe

Sissoko starts for Watford

Bamford really Bamfording it up today

Still very easy to stand unmarked in the spurs box, alien cultures will study this phenomenon across managers, players and millenia

My hatred for Watford increased exponentially last weekend, four of us were waiting on Watford beating Brighton to win £1100 between us. My bet on Huddersfield beating Sheffield Utd had set us up for the big money btw, 94th minute winner and all!

Sissoko, as so often the case, returns to his old club to perform one of his absolute classics

Some very Nuno results from Spurs so far this season

why are Man U trying to look lik ethe other Man today

Wolves gotta find one here.

Everton playing in an ORANGE SASH btw, that's two strikes right there, being Everton is the third

A strike for the sash alone? Poor old Peru. But, yeah, not a fan of this - supposedly "The Black Watch" kit from the 1890s. Not really sure why clubs do this; third kit = what "we" wore 130 years ago but we haven't really done the research. Ran a daguerrotype through a colourising app and here's what we got. More specious was the charcoal and sea foam kit from last year, "inspired by...the waterfront!" But that was pretty-ish. Next season: concrete and glass to celebrate loss of UNESCO heritage status.

Rangers affiliate club obv

Nah, come on now.

minute of stoppage when McGuire spent more than that whining to the refs after the last foul call

Podence is gonna be one of the first subs, I would imagine?

Sounds about right, loving Brunoball but we can't find goals yet

yeah the ball movement is incredible, but just disconnected in final third. feel like one's coming. i hope so.

I just bumped into a black labrador pup called Bruno, it could be a sign

For which side tho

ugh damn slice, Trincao

holy fuck at Traore keeping possession

lol that was pretty crazy

COME THE FUCK ON

between this and Orlando City's match on Friday I have blue balls right now

oh fuck this.

against the run of play and with Neves curled up in a ball

to play this well, still not score, and....ugh.

please at least knot it up

<3 mason

fucks sake

well maybe this will be like 2019-2020, slow start with few goals and no wins and big explosive middle of the season.

so frustrating

We'll finish top half, need to sort the goals out, let's see how it looks in a month

Sa let himself down but on the whole what a treat we are from last season

when one of your lot tries to bid peanuts for Sorba Thomas in the January window it won't happen unless they stump up £25m. Our chairman is mostly useless but he's getting very good at playing hardball with prem clubs who unsettle our best players and try and get them on shitty low valuation staggered payment deals that only suit the buyer.

Fair history lesson from michael j upthread, rangers affiliate suggestion rescinded

Everton Catholic/prod situation has always been weird aiui

Mike Dean is some lackspittle cunt

Kind of associate Liverpool with Rangers tbh.

Yeah there's definitely been some historical back and forth

the history of sectarian club affiliations in Liverpool does seem very confusing compared to Glasgow. Also the sectarian electoral loyalty was more divided between the Liberal Party and Tories up to the early 80's iirc.

Celtic/liverpool a v clear relationship from this side of the water but that may be a confused angle

The rhys james red card was bullshit huh

yeah I can remember this coming up when Diouf spat on a Celtic fan once!

Celtic/Man Utd is much more of a thing in Scotland, historically at least - might be different in Ireland - and given that 90% of what Rangers' fans do is to annoy people that would explain them supporting Liverpool.

The strongest link in my recent experience is between Rangers and Chelsea, for whatever innocent reason

my family are all Liverpool-supporting Catholics, only recently heard that we're supposed to be the Protestant club. Even my second cousin is a Liverpool supporter and he's the Bishop.

I think we've talked about this in other threads; the binary was allegedly: EFC/Liberal-Labour/Catholic vs LFC/Tory/Protestant. Even though the Orange HQ was in Everton (my mum got in trouble for going to watch the parade as a girl - "I just liked the drums and the pipes"...) and the city centre and docks were more Catholic areas. I think slum clearances had something to do with dissipating that sort of territorial stuff. (My parents crossed the divide in that sense, and I don't think it was that big a deal even in the '50s.) Any sectarian identity associated with the clubs vanished decades ago and was confused even back then.

"To hell with Liverpool and Rangers too" goes On The Banks of the Royal Blue Mersey... but this also mentions Big Ron Yeats so not exactly contemporary.

xxp

My mum says she was terrified of the Orange parades, this would have been in Speke in the early 60s, so exactly where the slums were cleared to.

Think the important commection to Scottish football for me is Kenny Dalglish rather than any of that.

Bobby Collins and Alex Young for my dad :)

my scouser friend is a catholic Liverpool fan from that kind of ancestry.com "irish background" beloved of celebs. I've tried to talk to him about this before. But you can't get no sense out of him, he went to a private school!

I’ve had a half-hearted dig myself, based off what I can remember and the 1911 census didn’t really corroborate or contradict. Supposedly my mum’s side (Catholic) went Cork -> Belfast (a job at Harland & Wolff) -> Liverpool (due to life-threatening workplace accident at Harland & Wolff), widowed gr-gr-m lodging with local families in Walton, raising infant gr-f. Dad (Prod) seems to have been generations of Wallasey/Birkenhead.

None of this supports EFC Catholic as I don’t think Mum’s brothers and sisters cared one way or another, my Dad’s family were the Blues. If I were to conduct a poll of my sixty-odd cousins (unlikely, I’m not in touch with any of them), it wouldn’t look good for Everton. Glory-hunting Generation X.

I guess another side to this is “going to watch both teams”, still pretty common within my lifetime. Dad went to the ‘65 Cup Final! Only the second time a M’side club had been to Wembley since the War so a big deal. I went every other week early ‘80s with a couple of lads in a family friend’s car… and on derby day one of these boys suddenly acquired a red and white scarf.

Anyway, back to your table-topping Spurs :)

You dont ever hear too much about whether spurs are proddy or taig 🤔

Think the important commection to Scottish football for me is Kenny Dalglish rather than any of that.

Another reason why Celtic fans didn't like Liverpool.

Even though the Orange HQ was in Everton (my mum got in trouble for going to watch the parade as a girl - "I just liked the drums and the pipes"...) and the city centre and docks were more Catholic areas.

That's how Orange walks work, they are designed to march through areas where they can cause maximum annoyance and irritation and where they can rub as many noses in the dirt as possible.

Growing up in the Mearns there is definitely a Rangers/Man United correlation amongst the teuchters, the Tory farmers would look down on Liverpool (well the males would; a North Wales lad could still receive sneaky favours from the farmer lassies in back hallways of pubs) & presumably Everton too if it ever occurred to them, some random enclaves of Leeds fans for some reason but mostly if you were Rangers it could be safely assumed your English team was Man U, it was part of their whole superiority thing, any member of the 80s-> oil industry diaspora or their progeny is to be at best tolerated but mostly distrusted in a pinched brow way, Manchester United are the biggest and most successful team, why would you follow anyone else? These inaboutcomers clearly don't know anything about football

"She said no and stop several times... I entered her from behind. It was rude. We didn't change position. 5/7 minutes. She said that she didn't want to, but she made herself available." https://t.co/BysnBW6nsX

— Tesla Driver (@ShatChitBetGang) August 30, 2021

Spurs have agreed a €30m fee for Emerson Royal.

I’ve not seen much of him, other than a couple of games for Barca this season.

Odsonne Edouard will be in London today in order to sign as new Crystal Palace player on permanent move from Celtic. Done deal and here-we-go! 🔴🤝 #CPFC

Personal terms also agreed. Medical today morning. €18/19m as final fee.

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 30, 2021

I have a hard time working out whether Edouard is much good but it’s an interesting signing.

good business from celtic that, if confirmed

Leeds are apparently going to pay something in the region of £25m for Dan James. But they weren't willing to pay a penny more than £4m for Lewis O'Brien. Glad my club told them to match our valuation or get fucked.

Dan James sale is the best business we've done in years

also looks like Camavinga is signing for Real

Leeds fans at Old Trafford the other week singing “you’re too shit to play for Leeds” at Dan James 😭😭😭

📹 @LewisDeighton17 pic.twitter.com/0iuTQgtvkl

— Footy Accumulators (@FootyAccums) August 30, 2021

Spurs appear to have paid Aurier to leave, having failed to sell him.

Fantastic business

The fucking wretched cunt

One of our overpaid wastemen from our Premiership era (Mbenza) allegedly had a few decent contract offers from top flight - but not big European sides but jeez what did he expect - that he turned down in favour of getting paid nearly 20 grand a week to turn up at a free gym for a year.

no new CM and we've sent Gibbs-White out on loan for the season. the natives are fucking livid

Mendy refused bail. If you look back at the timeline Pep was defending his character and talking about what a great bloke he was and don't be judgemental etc.. around the time he was in the shit for hosting a house party during the lockdown. Even though at the time it was known by the club and manager he was facing multiple rape allegations.

Brazil vs Argentina situation - a timeline

1. Emi Martinez, Cristian Romero, Emi Buendia and Lo Celso lied about having been in England within the last 2 weeks in order to enter Brazil

— EiF (@EiFSoccer) September 5, 2021

Almost a flawless plan.

Brazilian health officials came on to the pitch five minutes into the match with Argentina to shut the game down.

neanderthal posted a guardian link about that here: who will host the 2022 world cup?

Sanchez and Romero are still quarantined so the Spurs back four is Royal / Tanganga / Dier / Reguilon today, which will be interesting. The dream of a season of 38 back to back 1-0 wins might be tested.

I'd take Rodon over Dier any day in any formation

I'm liking Royal so far

very intelligent in his positioning

palace looking the more threatening side, not a lot of clear cut chances but totts struggling to get out of their own half for lots of this half

Winks a dose

No cover for fullbacks

Lloris giving them life at corners and with distribution

Worst version of kane out there also

Its unnecessary, poor stuff this

Kane just ran out of the way of a pass, if this is what we have gained for a year 100m will start to look very nice

poor half from Tottenham, for sure, can't see where the change is coming with all the injuries, only grace is palace not managing to convert their pressure into goals, Nuno has a lot of shouting and slapping to do at half time

beneteke deflecting his teammates Gallagher's chance off target from close range, his cursed look after when he realises he is a goal vortex, sucking goals out of the team by just being on the pitch

Tanganga could be off here.

Yellow only. Could have been two imo.

Right decision from the ref - foul was obviously a yellow but the the nonsense afterwards was basically all Zaha, the most aggy player in the league

tangbye

Idiot.

Yeah there’s his second!

whatever you say about zaha, he's had him on toast today, head gone

Yep credit to Zaha for that one. Have to say I think it’s a softish second yellow

He’s such a good defender but needs to grow up. At least Winks is coming off.

You've been Tangangoed

Lol foreign names obv

What do people say about Zaha?

also, as mentioned up thread, Loris attempts at punching being a wet slap of the ball down to the striker at the penalty spot, really helping the cause

Loris' punches have been crucial imo, he's been fine

What do people say about Zaha?
crisp called him the most Aggy player in the league, I don't know about that, he's been good today, being a handful

Ref applying the rules fairly strangely today, lots of tackles like that were not even frees in the first half

Cunts performance from spurs, lloris absolutely shitting himself and five players minimum hiding

Xps hadnt seen mention nor defence of lloris

Hes looked reluctant to come off his line, has half challenged weakly at head height in a few crosses and is begging someone to nip ahead of him for one

His passing has landed us in trouble a few times also

What do people say about Zaha?
crisp called him the most Aggy player in the league, I don't know about that, he's been good today, being a handful

― Swanswans, Saturday, 11 September 2021 12:51 (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

Incredibly gifted joyless whinging cunt of a player, the type you enjoy when playing a team you dont like tbf

xxp I like Zaha a lot, he just appears to be fuelled entirely by rage and frustration. I would absolutely love him if he played for my team.

I don't watch a lot of Zaha and can't really comment on his aggyness overall, one thing I do find impressive about him is how he can, one on one, from a standing start, shimmy and wiggle his way into space and passing positions, for a big guy, he is nimble as fuck

Hes extraordinary yeah

Kane looks like he is deliberately fucking us out here

Zaha is always extra aggy first game after a transfer window closes tbf

I don't think there's a front line in the league that Zaha wouldn't improve, I love him he's great

That phase maybe three years ago where he was almost ronaldo level inevitable with ball at feet and space ahead of him, beating guys a few times for fun

Hojbjerg stinking us out

Every time I see Kane having this kind of shocker, seemingly off the pace and ill positioned when the ball is nearby...I also start thinking is he looking a tad over weight??

Cunts

xp he has a funny lanky build that canake him look leggy very quickly, maybe not fat but sometimes out of condition

But hes just not trying very hard- overworked but whose fault is that

Davies, a strolling disaster nothing player imo, who i like as a fella

Feel like darraghs description of Zaha applies more to Kane tbh. Zaha is too emotional to be joyless for me

Joyless in himself, not for the rest of us, i dont mind a narky player with talent

Kane does fit the description, an on-form dele too, not disputing that

Davies proving Darragh right, just there, terrible defending for that goal

Kane is clearly a wonderful physical specimen, it's just the slackjawed mouthbreathing makes him look out of shape

Lol @ getting spurs in the 12.30 ko after a 3 game international break tbf

They may as well send Benteke the knacker's yard now they've got Edouard in the team.

Davies has always been really poor at the basic job of stopping an opposition player doing what they like

Ive seen him on the left of a three for wales and he is tbf much better for them, but in any of three positions for us he just forgets the point of the job

Now he ain't the only one but hes so slow and his oassing so bad that the point of keeping him around seven years in or whatever is maddening me

Kane looks like he is deliberately fucking us out here

― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Saturday, 11 September 2021 13:01 (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Convinced of this btw

certainly this isn't the Tottenham I expected today and they do seem surprisingly jaded, awful all game

Spurs were no worse than the previous 3 games, this was just the result refecting the performance for the first time

Both teams goal difference back to zero

ain't no SONshine, when he's gone....

Hellion not wildly wrong there tbf, wolves shouldve absolutely dashed us

I look forward to winks, davies, alli turning their four-year form around tho

They may as well send Benteke the knacker's yard now they've got Edouard in the team.

Told you.

We're employing midtable players and tbh looking at the first few games a midtable manager so if i had one ask itd be to end the pretence about any other aim

NV fp incoming

so glad Peacock Plus isn't working and the only way I can watch Wolves = a shitty bootleg feed.

twitter is blowing up about it, almost none of the matches working in the US

Tbf Lage is making Nuno look that way every time we play now

Yeah Neandy it took me ages to get a working stream

Also Trincao is a sexy mf

6 games, all at 0-0 as we approach half time?

Ronaldo has just ruined it.

We had 2 shots on target that last minute too ffs

7 halves, 0 goals.

feel like one is coming in the 2nd

Wow Mads Mikelsen's Mandarin is flawless

7 games are at 0-0 h/t in the Noddy league

make that 6

We need to get The Bull on second half

not for nothing but in the 2019-2020 season, after many winless months, it was Watford that Wolves finally beat not long before that dope 2-0 upset of Man City at Eithad.

repeat? repeat?!!!

oooh helluva ball in from Traore there.

I just wanna see some Hwang

how long u had that one saved up for :)

oh come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

this is blue balls of the worst kind

HERE HE COMES!!!

and here's Hwang

Oh ffs Semedo

Yes this season is horribly similar to the experience of trying to finish while on antidepressants

Ronaldo two thirds of the way to the inevitable debut hat trick.

xpost sad familiar lols

how many free headers are we gonna put off frame ugh

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

first goal and it's an own goal

I'll take it

Lol was about to say

Congratulations on Sriracha for breaking our duck

now let's get one proper.

I've been watching Leicester Man City but there is nothing interesting to comment on. The commentary are trying to make it sound like some sort of aggro grudge match but nah, this is dull. And so I drink.

You may have your wish. Xp

Hwang!

THERE IT IS!!!!!!

i was convinced it was going to stay out. i love the celebration, then "oh shit, it's not in", and calm kick back into the net

How can a lad called Bull not be a future Wolves hero?

This stream is increasingly fucked up so at least there's breathing space now every time it skips back in time

lmao dispossessed by himself

Love them

good win. excited for the Hwang era

I was excited to see Saul in the prem, he's... not had the greatest firt half. But without wanting to spout the same punditry bullshit there is an adjustment going there, less time on the ball, I remember Thiago was absolutely rotten in his first match, now he's cleaning up after Saul gives the ball away trying to be clever. But Saul remains a joy to watch, not sure how much of his shit Tuchel will put up with, receiving the ball and trying to twist around and actually beat players instead of laying it off immediately like a good System player

(apologies for lack of accents, I don't know how to do them on this keyboard)

in fact he's off for Jorginho second half

these lads were nearly as excited as me

Korean broadcast of Hwang Hee-Chan’s goal this afternoon. Thank us later 😂🔥 pic.twitter.com/MEDVVdY9N2#WWFC | #Wolves

— Talking Wolves (@TalkingWolves) September 11, 2021

tarkowski is vile. and the ref wants sacking for not deeming that assault on richarlison card worthy.

Still completely mystified that ASM wasn’t bought by someone better this summer.

Excellent goal today.

Missed the goal but yes re: being bought, I wonder if there's a Traore syndrome element to that like suspicion that he's not a complete package

https://twitter.com/asaintmaximin/status/1438983210726268929

I love him.

He does sometimes drift out of games and half the stuff he tries might not come off, but there aren’t that many players in the league who can do what he does. I guess he has had a run of injuries, though.

Coaches of top teams think their systems are more important than players doing damage

Leeds keeper looked dodge to me

Wolves ay we! lord I woke up at 7:30 am on a weekend for this so better be good lol.

Brentford's story is an interesting one, no?

Wolves looking dominant again, so I'm assuming 3 points for Brentford

lol

Jimenez tackling himself was humorous.

want him to get his goal today so badly.

I just looked up Ivan Toney's age to decide which "bigger" club would buy him... 25? so, Everton or Soto next season I guess

£25m player in the current market, actually maybe £30m

Janelt looks like German Andy Samberg

Marcal what the fuck are you doing

clear pen

Through the middle seems to be the promising area for Wolves, stop with the wing shit there's a guy constantly stood there

Ok my steam just got to that, yeah clear pen

that's on you Marcal. thanks for that.

*stream, no steam here

Through the middle seems to be the promising area for Wolves, stop with the wing shit there's a guy constantly stood there

― The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Saturday, September 18, 2021 7:57 AM bookmarkflaglink

yeah agreed.

tho week one tarkowski plowed over maupay in the box from a corner and that was deemed okay. advantage to the attacking team i guess.

wolves shook.

oh for fuck's sake. how did he miss that

this is ridiculous

this is literally a repeat of the Orlando City - Montreal disaster of Wednesday.

Toney is just working Wolves rn.

Just draw a line across the Brentford back line on Wolves attacks, beautiful. Now do the same for the Wolves defence, what the fuck is that crooked shit?

sometimes it hangs a little to one side in the morning

Having watched every Wolves game (oh except that one they won) thus far, this is the first where they are deservedly losing. Having watched very little of Brentford they don't look all that, easily beatable

glad to see the halftime speech motivated them

Aggravating that the best Wolves player so far today is playing for Sheff U

Having never seen Hwang before yeah I like him. Also apparently Traore has been on the pitch this whole match, who knew?

well this certainly helps matters

Pontus Jansen, big hard man iirc. Eh...

Brentford could go down to eight men and I’m not sure I’d bet on Wolves scoring.

Kostas starts for Liverpool, good. Milner at RB, yeah I love him but maybe not drop both fullbacks in the same match?

dreadful match. and it all started with Marcal's boneheaded decision in the box. prior to that Brentford had been building a little momentum but the life just went out of the building after that.

Jimenez HEADGAURD OFF! Serious bisnes now...

Welp

The words "absolute dogshit" spring to mind

Lol at us ending up playing 2-2-6 and still couldn't score against 10 men

Well again, first match they deserved to lose. Sort it out up front ffs

Yer man Fabio maybe deserves a start?

Hard to say. I feel like
Raul has always been streaky in terms of goals but he adds a lot of other attributes to the side. I'm not a 442 fan but the time might be approaching, in a front 2 you'd think either Hwang or Fabio starts alongside Raul

Liverpool not looking great, thank fuck it's Benteke out there, Eduoard would be skinning them

Leon Bailey’s on fire.

Terrific purchase for Villa.

Yeah that was a second half and then some.

Astonishing Everton defending for the Bailey goal. There was a heat map shown at half time which showed there was a huge gap in that inside left channel so I’m surprised how much space there was for Bailey, I thought (possibly erroneously) that Rafa is the sort of manager who would obsess over that kind of detail.

Bailey looks like the new hero though for sure, I hope that was only a precautionary change rather than anything longer term. Felt like the post-grealish era getting up and running in the second half, fingers crossed

Off to watch them at Stamford Bridge on Weds, no great hopes because Chelsea’s second team is still a top 4 contender so even if they rotate I think we’ll be outmatched. But yeah that was fun, this is fun, there’s clearly enough there for a really good season. Deano just needs to work out how to bring it all together

good game that, pen decisions were some bullshit though

not sure why chelsea arent mixing it up by going long to lukaku instead of passing it out from the back all the time. do look v likely in transition tho.

is mendy injured?

Yep, injured against Zenit, though not too seriously.

This is a good game so far.

According to My Mother he took a knock in the Zenit match

xp

thank you both. yes good game so far esp first 20 mins.

the havertz volley was atrocious however.

like jimenez rabona level poor.

loved that back foot first touch by son there

Why do the Spurs fans hate Alonso so much? I mean yeah he's a child murderer but this seems more partisan, is there a previous incident I'm forgetting?

since kante has been on spurs havent had a kick

Alonso seems a different player

Always does against Spurs.

This is why I rate Tuchel as a coach, his teams always play better second half, you wouldn't get this shit from Lampard

Bryan Gill, the hipster's choice

Spurs ability to lose the ball while trying absolutely nothing difficult or ambitious is what makes playing in any way conservatively particularly stupid

Individually fairly shocking limited players ito passing or touch so much of the time

The rest is a collective lack of fuckgiving, call that 30% the cunts

Arah professional pride is mugs game anyway right lads

Nice West Ham goal

This hwang lad is the most piteous playactor ive seen emerge in a while

Bwoo hwoo

Nonsense match all round but enjoyed that as far as it goes

Just seen the final score so

Can't argue

Oh we'd have been in a contest to tear own own respective showers into bits if we were watching it together, periods of absolute shambles from each

0 pts from this obviously but Villa playing some really nice stuff, could be a decent season

Grealish a useless wasteman so far

Chelsea are coping fine but can't get their front folk involved

oh ok, when they do get the option Werner is constantly offside, like you can see Azpilicueta or whoever look up, see him stood offside and instead square to Lukaku, who has 3 men on him but that's the only option

Rio Ferdinand is such a trash pundit

"you'd have to be one-eyed or incredibly mean not to aknowledge that City deserve that lead" ehhhh...

Ok City seem to be running things now, I'm the dick

Actually Chelsea have been on top last like 20mins, I still acknowledge my dickedness tho

Jacob Ramsay just went down injured in agony while in on goal, what a stroke of luck

Jurgen Klopp's fault, I assume. Deano refereeing that one, right?

Villa fully deserve that

AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH

fucking lol

oh my

lol what a beautiful start to the weekend

An incredible feat of giant killing as a plucky, well-organised Aston Villa somehow conspire to grind out a result against Mike Dean

utd labouring to create chances for the golden manboy, Bruno looking frustrated with everything, didn't see all the game but Ming's handle Cron very assuredly and the villa defense not giving much away

Come now Biscuits, you know Villa's goal shouldn't have stood. But as I say, Utd deserved fuck all from the game anyway

Burnley 2-1 up at leceister, cornet scored but has gone off injured so that burnleys danger gone, can see a draw there, Leeds playing well, west ham not able to put much together, expect a harder half this half, meslier is awesome

Come now Biscuits, you know Villa's goal shouldn't have stood. But as I say, Utd deserved fuck all from the game anyway

― Number None, Saturday, 25 September 2021 14:50 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I actually Haven't Seen It Back, I was doing laps of the house

The last few minutes of Watford/Newcastle was kinda great.

Brentford are kinda awesome? I might watch more of them this season

Yeah agreed. This has been fun to watch!

So Piddock appears to have injured himself in the goal celebration? gotta love that. Great game so far

that was wild

This is a match of crazy goals.

not EPL related, but i was watching 4th and 5th placed teams in the bundesliga this morning and it was weird how bad both teams were doing. i switched to the hoffenheim-wolfsburg game, and hoffenheim, which are 10th, were playing so good

(i should mention wolfsburg is in 3rd place and hoff won 3-1)

I named my cat after Curtis Jones. The previous cats were called Paisley/ Kenny/ Xabi, but this time I put my faith in youth. The other week my mother sat on my sofa and smoked my cigarettes and said in a sarcastic voice "wouldn't Harvey be a better cat name?" And I told her NO! NOT HARVEY! I HATE HIM! (I don't really but I was worked up and also cold drinks). Anyway, I feel vindicated.

Man this match!

Best match of the season so far

Fave moment: after that goal almost went in towards the end, Frank and Klopp turning towards each other and Frank with an amazing "Well that was close!" look on his face.

I know Wolves aren't exactly tearing things up but that front 3 makes my dick hard

Wolves backline seems somewhat shoddy, isn't Lage meant to be decent? This is definitely a coaching problem

Podence playing awful today

first three weeks Wolves had a lot of creativity and just weren't making the shots fall. then the win, and I was like "oh here we go", but the last two matches, they've been aimless

This is definitely aimless. Commentary called it "open" but nah, if a goal comes it will surely be from Soto

if by "open" they mean 'lots of turnovers and counter-attacking that ultimately goes nowhere', sure.

I think the stat was one shot on goal? If so, THAT WAS IN THE FIRST 30 SECONDS! Nothing since