i saw mommy kissing santos (george)

this wildly chaotic hero deserves his own thread imo

https://i.imgur.com/TOe6mS8.png

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/01/george-santos-il-bacco-campaign-spending-new-york.html

MUST-READ story here. How'd Santos raise all the money? One way was finding wealthy donors, getting a donation and then going to town with the same credit card with fraudulent charges to numerous Santos-linked campaign entities. One donor ... https://t.co/7pKdeK1RnA

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) January 14, 2023

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGdGBTLdvNE

do we have any sympathy for devolder?

any reason we should?

im saving the sympathy until any consequences actually land!

(at which point i will withhold it -- unless of course he continues to be hilarious)

https://i.imgur.com/TOe6mS8.png
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/trump_sign_s_2015.jpg?w=2000&h=1126&crop=1
https://itsastampede615821596.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/how-many-sleepaway-camp-movies-are-there.jpg

guess I fucked up my own joke then:

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners Santos
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/01/george-santos-the-luckiest-liar-in-politics.html

NEW: I just spoke by phone with Eula Rochard, a Brazilian drag queen who was friends with George Santos when he lived near Rio. She said everyone knew him as Anthony (*never* George), or by his drag name, Kitara, and confirms this photo is from a 2008 drag show at Icaraí Beach. pic.twitter.com/1MeeDR1O2O

— Marisa Kabas (@MarisaKabas) January 18, 2023

this is a busy guy!

i love him

1) THREAD: PAY ATTENTION to this George Santos MAGA Moment. A video surfaced this week of Santos introducing himself as Anthony Devolder. He said he organized a group United For Trump at a rally on 3/23/19 with charged insurrectionist, Brandan Straka of Walk Away. pic.twitter.com/FTWTKRRfFj

— Sandi Bachom (@sandibachom) January 17, 2023

We need to import this quality of politician to the UK.

do we have any sympathy for devolder?

― the shaker intro bit the shaker outro in the tail, hard (breastcrawl)

maybe something bad happened to him in the past that made him be like this but it's impossible to know because we have no idea what events actually happened in his life

my new theory is that he is actually twins or triplets all pretending to be one guy via subterfuge, as in the Christopher Nolan movie The Prestige

also he is Booji Boy

correct

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/01/18/santos-mother-sept-11/

Rep. George Santos (R-N.Y.) has said his mother was inside one of the World Trade Center towers when they were attacked on Sept. 11, 2001, but immigration records indicate that Santos’s mother wasn’t in the United States on that day.

plot twist: she was flying the plane

George Santos's mother was Tania Head?

she's tania hearst

https://cdn.britannica.com/07/193107-050-8F690634/Patricia-Hearst-front-emblem-Symbionese-Liberation-Army.jpg

as well i mean

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/george-santos-took-3000-veteran-dog-gofundme-1234662731/

George Santos Allegedly Took $3,000 From Dying Dog’s GoFundMe

They are going to tell tall tales about this man someday

I know this horse has been beaten to death, but it's amazing that this guy has, daily, a new scandal that would have been career ending pre-2000s, but even if total it amounts to jack shit.

"in total"

Back-to-back "I am not a drag queen" and "I did not kill that dog" is immediate Hall of Fame level posting pic.twitter.com/CntVYddui0

— Don Moynihan (@donmoyn) January 19, 2023

Georgina Santísima is her drag name.

very "that's not me in the video" vibes

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b1/Shaggy-wasn%27t-me.jpg

I am not gonna lie, the story about the dog tipped me over into “this isn’t a human being, this is movie character” territory and I know am just waiting for the next ridiculous revelation with a level of anticipation that I will absolutely regret once he manages to do something consequential on a national level

"The reports that I beat Morgan Wallen and stole his car are shocking and insane. I didn't steal his car, he offered it to me."

"Lots of people whose cars I didn't steal have been sending me messages thanking me for not stealing their cars."

"I did not dress that dog up in drag."

https://i.makeagif.com/media/1-05-2016/ND8MN_.gif

“Over the past 24hr I have received pictures of my drag Queen “performances” throughout the years along with supportive messages.”

Isn't Santos made out of pure negative id, a folk devil made from left over fear after the pandemic.
LIke if you look back into his past long enough are you going to find out that he never actually existed. Just manifest to feed off other people's panic

That sounds like a Coscarelli horror movie

Brazilian outlet Piauí has resurfaced an incredible 2021 interview with George Santos, where he claimed he was just mugged on Fifth Avenue in broad daylight—they stole his *shoes*—and said he planned to donate his entire congressional salary to "four NGOs" https://t.co/n9PG6vuDW0

— Roger Sollenberger (@SollenbergerRC) January 20, 2023

the intersection he claims he was mugged at is one block from trump tower

checks out

https://media.cnn.com/api/v1/images/stellar/prod/230120141217-01-george-santos-drag-queen-claims-brazil.jpg

A clearer photo of Kitara, but there's so much deep-fakery these days, this could've been made by a 14 year old for all we know

In an interview with CNN, Rochards said that it’s Santos in the pictures, adding that she knew him from LGBTQ events he attended in the town of Niterói, near Rio de Janeiro, where she said he was well known in the gay community.

Rochards said she recognized Santos from a recent news report and dug up the old pictures but was surprised to learn that Santos was a Republican.

“I don’t know him now, I only knew him then,” she said.

I once worked with a guy who was a pathological liar. Everyone knew it, but didn't really care because he was sort of childlike and his lies were of the variety of "I ran into Kanye West and he gave me a tape of his new album but then this guy dressed as Spiderman stole it from me on the bus."

that's more plausible than some of the Santos ones

reminds me of when MTG was first elected and it was discovered she had a "sex guru" who was tracked down and interviewed and one of the things he said was "I thought I knew her pretty well, she was not like this at all". Madison Cawthorn has maybe a similar story. I know a lot of people were worried that we were gonna wind up with a lot of Trump-like figures in politics post 2016 but I think the reality is we're getting a bunch of Omarosas

The wife of a good friend of mine went to high school with Marge Taylor (as she was then known). Her recollection is that she was "completely unremarkable."

There was a good article in the Atlantic about how all of these reactionary movements around the world (the author focused on Poland, but it was applicable to most of them) are really giving an opportunity for revenge to the utter mediocrities of the world.

I actually know very little about Santos' politics, the myth has greatly overshadowed any policy leanings.. is he trumpy?

I'm thrilled to be joined on the Science Committee by my Republican colleague Dr. George Santos, winner of not only the Nobel Prize, but also the Fields Medal - the top prize in Mathematics - for his groundbreaking work with imaginary numbers. https://t.co/RJQ7eP8n8x

— Congressman Bill Foster (@RepBillFoster) January 20, 2023

ok I'm actually starting to come around on this guy

I know everyone is talking about how George Santos wrote a fake wiki that said he appeared on Hannah Montana, but I’m obsessed with his alleged movie that starred three of the actors from Batman and Robin. pic.twitter.com/x7ugThowYA

— Collin Murr (@CollinMurr) January 21, 2023

Surprised no one has made the obvious connection between George Santos and George Soros.

this is like some Tim Heidegger shit

INDEPENDENTS DAY BY STEVEN SPILBERG

thanks for new username Anthony

Hello

If his politics weren't toxic and harmful (just by association) I would be enjoying the lolz more. It would be a comedy gold mine.

a real movie, with a completely different cast: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Invasion_(film)

I think Santos is a perfect culmination of the Trump years, specifically w/r/t how the US blithely assumed "checks and balances" would protect us from bad-faith actors but, it turned out, were often useless because it didn't account for a group in power becoming craven evil-doers--I assume due to some naïve belief in the American people not electing such folks, or something. ("The system will regulate itself.")

Despite Santo being entirely fictional, he's sitting there in Congress, with no consequences beyond embarrassment, because the only check involves getting his fellow craven evil-doers to voluntarily give up a bit of power by expelling him.

naïve belief in the American people not electing such folks, or something

Reading backwards, recently, I realize I had something like this naïve belief circa 2015.

It's not that I believed the American people to be good (in a moral sense) or serious (in an intellectual sense). Nor was it that I believed institutions and norms would save us. After all, I sit (and type) on Virginian soil that has soaked up plenty of blood from 400+ years of fundamental disagreements about institutions and norms.

It's more that I underestimated humans' capacity to have adolescent nihilism last into adulthood.

The old right wing was cravenly evil, but at least it wore the trappings of an ideological foundation. It made claims to a higher purpose, albeit misguided and disingenuous.

This new stuff (Trump, Boebert, MTG, Santos, Crenshaw, Gaetz, Hawley) is just a middle finger in the air. Owning the libs uber alles.

The old right wing was cravenly evil, but at least it wore the trappings of an ideological foundation. It made claims to a higher purpose, albeit misguided and disingenuous.

I go back and forth about this, and was thinking about it recently after reading a recent Nixon biography. Was it preferable when right-wingers presented themselves like respectable politicians who paid lip service to things like civil rights or tolerating dissent by keeping their hatred coded, even when we knew they were bullshitting? Or is it "better" that the mask is off and there's no pretense about being anything aside from what they are, i.e., hateful shitheads?

it definitely seems to be better in terms of electing Democrats. on the other hand we are fighting a culture war about fuckable M&Ms right now

It's a dileM&Ma.

_The old right wing was cravenly evil, but at least it wore the trappings of an ideological foundation. It made claims to a higher purpose, albeit misguided and disingenuous._


I go back and forth about this, and was thinking about it recently after reading a recent Nixon biography. Was it preferable when right-wingers presented themselves like respectable politicians who paid lip service to things like civil rights or tolerating dissent by keeping their hatred coded, even when we knew they were bullshitting? Or is it "better" that the mask is off and there's no pretense about being anything aside from what they are, i.e., hateful shitheads?

It's a dileminema. Will the real George Santos please stand up?... Are we going to have a problem here?... y'all act like you've never seen a gay republican before...

Yeah I think on balance it’s probably a bad thing. Do we get an anti vaxx/pro horse drugs movement without Trump?

Frogbs, you say "horse drugs" like that's a bad thing

It was definitely preferable when they kept their hatred coded. The rise in hate crimes against all kinds of marginalized people is proof that letting it out of the bag has been downright awful.

They used to sell souvenirs from lynchings in this country.

Not really sure what your point is there, unperson— I, too, know the history of lynchings and racism in the US, and it is pretty demonstrable that those times never ended, but certainly became less absolutely pervasive when vocal, outspoken racism was considered uncouth at best and career-ending at worse for politicians. In recent years, it’s become normalized in ways that it hasn’t been for years, and you can see the results of that normalization of discourse.

i agree with table

outward displays of hate and racism seem to also be contagious.

xxxpost yeah, there was this naive belief not even that long ago that racists would wear the label as a badge of honor, and anybody who couched their hate in dog whistles and coded language in an attempt to shift the center of the debate (see: "argument to moderation" fallacy) to greater normalize what kind of hate is acceptable...was a small minority. which is why lots of well-meaning but hella naive people thought this shit was a thing of the past.

we saw troubling signs before Trump of people who were starting to feel a wee bit more comfortable saying things that would not have flown a decade earlier and not receive the same level of punishment that would normally be meted out. You had the New Hampshire Police Commissioner proudly call Obama the n-word and press actually gave this piece of shit way too much attention beyond the "old white racist cop is racist, house should be set on fire, back to sports and weather" treatment it deserved. The Bundys militantly usurping land that wasn't theirs, obtaining a platform to say horribly racist shit that got national press coverage, and also desecrate Native American land, and having this seen as a valid, harmless 'first Amendment protest' by the jury. Geraldo Rivera stated that Trayvon Martin was wearing "thug wear" (a fucking HOODIE) and that was why he got shot, and nothing material happened to his career.

all this shit bubbling up and then these assholes miraculously get an Islamophobic, white supremacist President, and finally make them feel comfortable saying how they really felt and jut amplify the targets on people's back. idk that this wouldn't have happened years later if Trump hadn't gotten elected, but lord did he accelerate it.

even David Duke couldn't have done for racism what Trump managed in office.

“If the candidate’s personal wealth wasn’t the source of the loan, then what was?” he asked. “The only other permissible source would be a bank, and they would require collateral… If a bank wasn’t the source… the only alternatives are illegal sources.” https://t.co/7t4FeQe5pO

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) January 25, 2023

He had a rich uncle no one knew about

He was in a movie "“startting Uma Turman," he's got loads of dough.

resiidualls

this is a classic ILX thread title in that I already automatically think of it anytime I see his name

this is like when you're pumping gas and you want the meter to land on exactly $40... he just ordered very carefully.

The vast majority of congressional campaigns never recorded a single disbursement of $199, just below the level requiring preservation of receipts.

Santos reported 40 of them... Those included eight charges of exactly $199.99 at an Italian restaurant in Queens and another $199.99 charge at a Miami-area hotel where rooms do not usually go for less than $600 per night

In fact, his campaign accounted for roughly half of all expenses by all campaigns that cost exactly $199.99 — a statistical improbability.

I think about this thread title several times per day

Those included eight charges of exactly $199.99 at an Italian restaurant

A bottle of red, a bottle of white

All depends upon your appetite

Meet me any time you're inclined

To spend exactly $199.99

omg

maybe it's a prix fixe menu

Anthony works in the Goldman Sachs
Savin' his pennies for someday

lol

Here in DC there are lots of spaces that are just close enough to the Capitol to be convenient, but just far enough away to be legal for fundraising. Occasionally for work, I see requirements for government contractors to have X amount of office space within Y miles of a given customer.

If I were a wealthy and/or smart person, I would rent as many of these spaces as I could afford to, and sublease them to needful entities.

I would also open a restaurant that was really good at charging precise amounts to stay under campaign finance limits.

See above for why I am not a wealthy person

So he has stepped down from his committee assignments. It's a half measure at best, not sure who this is really going to please.

Santos, because now he gets a paycheck to do literally nothing.

And the committee assignments will still appear on his resume.

His resume says he's a Senator

to be fair his resume also says he was the first werewolf aboard the international space station

if george santos were a werewolf, so many things would make more sense. he'd be a hero, even

He's getting ready to change his name again

heh, siena college did a poll and it revealed that not only does everyone in santos' district hate him, but also that the voters in the district are also full of shit. makes sense!

[Siena College] did a poll and Santos currently clocks in with 7% favorability and 83% unfavorability, which is fairly poor. Even with Republicans he’s at 11%.

Generally when you poll the constituents of incumbent politicians you poll ‘approval’ rather than ‘favorability’. But I think we can likely infer that his approval is fairly low too.

But there’s more!

Then there’s ‘Should George resign?’ 78% of his constituents say “yes”.

Was it right for Kevin McCarthy to put George on Committees? 71% say “no”.

Maybe it will all blow over since voters aren’t paying much attention? Sorry, George. Fully 81% are following the Santos new “very closely” or “somewhat closely.”

Perhaps the most entertaining part of the poll is asking people how they voted. First, 89% of respondents said they voted, which means a significant percentage are liars. But it gets better. 24% said they voted for George Santos, which again means that a whole lot of them are liars or in denial. (Santos won with 54% of the vote.) 17% say they voted for another candidate. 15% refused to answer. (Who can blame them?) Notably 45% said they voted for Democrat Robert Zimmerman which is almost exactly the percentage of the vote he got. Of the 24% of voters who admitted voting for Santos, 31% say they’d still vote yes even knowing what they know now. 63% say they would not have. (What’s wrong with that 31% of the 24%?)

sorry, that's from here: https://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/santosmentum-78-of-constituents-say-he-should-resign

i think george santos has earned the benefit of the doubt and deserves a seven thousandth chance

dude really needs to start some gas stove culture war shit right now, that's his only way out of this

I mean I'm kind of curious what exactly it is Republican voters don't like about him. I mean I guess we all know what it really is but is this guy really more dishonest than the guy they all wish was president right now?

nobody tells george santos what to do!

In a chaotic scrum, Rep. George Santos told me “Nobody tells me to do anything I made the decision on my own that I thought best represented the interest of the voters.”

I asked if he made the decision on his own or if it was a request of Speaker McCarthy pic.twitter.com/CBTRR8Pitu

— Rachel Scott (@rachelvscott) January 31, 2023

Owww

On of the weirdest things about Santos is how much he always seems to be loving it, just bare supressing a shit-eating grin in that scrum. He reminds me of John Early's character in Search Party.

yeah he's an untrammeled chaos-beast: the garbage is home to him, he thrives in it, it gives him strength

(his tactical advisor vish burra also)

anything he says can be interpreted several ways

Santos: In New York’s third congressional district, we are seeing an uptick in crime pic.twitter.com/ZKLeew5qIV

— Acyn (@Acyn) January 31, 2023

is that an assault rifle on his lapel??

He doesn't strike me as an avid outdoorsman

It's because he was on the Olympic biathlon team.

assault rifle is for outdoorsmen now? that’s the first step to a well-armed milishawndra my drag queen name which I don’t use at home with my ex — well, I am not much for the ladies but my rental properties were doing well until an airport went up and the plane taking off from that whooo let me tell you about my mom in finance 9/11 was a hell of a day and the next thing you know it’s over a decade later and she dies of hey have you ever done couch surfing?

On of the weirdest things about Santos is how much he always seems to be loving it, just bare supressing a shit-eating grin in that scrum. He reminds me of John Early's character in Search Party.

I just finished that show and this is now how I will permanently see Santos, so thank you for this. In light of this committee news, particularly thinking about that monologue where he announces to his editor that he's had an epiphany that he simply doesn't like work, and will no longer be doing it.

I, too, appreciate this comparison

Yes, very apt. Not the least reason being that Early's character (while hilarious) was a deeply terrible human being.

Santos could barely keep his shit together while being interviewed on a friendly outlet (OAN.) The interviewer was giving him an easy out "People don't feel like you've made a sincere apology yet" and he just went off into "I have. I've done it three times. What is sincere anyway? How do you if I'm being sincere or not?"

What is "truth"? Webster defines it, as, among other things, "the property of being in accord with fact or reality". but what is a "fact"? webster defines it as "something that has actual existence". but what do those words mean? *john early face*

what do you mean? you'd crucify your king?

is that the interview where he basically said "yeah I lied about a lot, but if I hadn't I probably would have lost, so what matters is I'm not gonna lie anymore"? hard to imagine a worse response than that.

he's done no wrong
no, not the slightest thing!

I'm permanently creeped out by his "twink Henry Kissinger" vibe.
Also I think the Rs like him as a test balloon for blatant liars in the post-consequence era.

twink henry kissinger vibe

today truly one of the days that this board is showing how excellent it can still be, been laughing all day tbh

i've been waiting for some kind of article about the guy who lost to santos, robert zimmerman. as recently as a few weeks ago, there was no wikipedia photo for him, and it just seemed like he was an anonymous DNC shill who expected to coast to victory and lost to a guy who was not only lying about everything, but who had been exposed for lying about everything by a local conservative newspaper. the DNC and zimmerman didn't notice, i guess, or didn't bother to highlight it.

here's one!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2023/02/01/robert-zimmerman-george-santos/

PORT WASHINGTON, N.Y. — The man who lost to George Santos looks like a winner. Chin up. Good humor. Clean-shaven, sparkly-eyed. Navy suit, flag pin, walnut-hued wingtips. Robert P. Zimmerman has dreamed for 40 years of being a congressman, and so Robert P. Zimmerman is still acting like a candidate, even as his would-be constituents greet him with a sympathetic tilt of the head, as if to say: I’m sorry for our loss.

“How are you?” two members of the local school board asked him, with near-simultaneous bereavement.

“Holding my head high!” Zimmerman replied, undefeated by defeat, as they walked into a luncheon Friday hosted by the League of Women Voters of Port Washington-Manhasset.

“As you should!” the women said.

In a banquet hall of fake flowers and real Rolexes, Zimmerman worked the luncheon as if his congressional race never ended, as if he didn’t lose by more than seven percentage points to a man who appears to be a bamboozling cipher and who has become — even by the putrid standards of Trump-era politics — a national embarrassment. Zimmerman, lifelong dream shunted to a near-term crusade, hustled around the clubhouse of the Harbor Links Golf Course.

“We’re going to get him out of office,” he told retired women wearing chunky necklaces, taking their crinkled hands in solemn fortitude.

He greeted library officials and town supervisors with the same pledge: “We’ll get him out of office.”

Isma Chaudhry, co-chair of the Islamic Center of Long Island’s board of trustees, breezed toward Zimmerman with words of affection and thanks.

“But I’m losing hope,” she said. “I’m getting exhausted.”

“We’re gonna get him out,” Zimmerman said, repeating his oath of officelessness.

One campaign is over, and another has begun: an urgent mutiny against a sitting congressman, led partly by his vanquished opponent. The residents of New York’s 3rd Congressional District, a 30-minute train ride from Manhattan, are pissed. They’re affluent and educated, by and large, and they got took. They feel empowered by a unifying rage; they feel powerless from the lack of speedy redress. Santos has refused to surrender, despite a cascade of alleged lies and deceptions and legal and ethics investigations.

“Trust me: No one’s more frustrated than me,” Zimmerman says. “There are a few times I shouted into my pillow: ‘Why didn’t this come out earlier?’”

...
At the Stop & Shop in Bay Terrace, Zimmerman joined citizens in collecting signatures for a letter asking McCarthy to expel Santos for his “lies, deceit, and likely fraud.” Wearing only a suit jacket in the 40-degree air, Zimmerman intercepted shoppers as they exited the store. Bayside resident Dan Cruz said he voted for Santos, called it a “big mistake,” and signed Zimmerman’s sheet.

“We’re gonna turn it around,” Zimmerman told him.

“We’re gonna pull through,” Zimmerman told the next person who walked out.

“We’re gonna make it happen,” Zimmerman told the next person.

Have you tried googling Robert Zimmerman's own pseudonym?

Rob Dylan?

the answer my friend

The Santos, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

Agh!

lyin' in the wind, surely.

I was so much Devolder then; I'm younger than that now

^ I'm pretty proud of that one tbh

I don’t blame you, the pickings are rich.

“twink Kissinger vibe” is hilariously uncanny, can’t stop myself from (partly) stealing it

Santos is my Congressperson. I voted for one of the more progressive candidates because Zimmerman seemed like a total DNC hack.

thanks PBKR

Sorry :(

Otoh, I don't think Santos will finish his term.

Thread title is already a Bob Dylan pun in the heart

Santos in the Heart

"You hurt the ones that I love best
And cover up the truth with lies.
One day you'll be in the ditch
Flies buzzin' around your eyes--
Blood on your saddle."

https://i.redd.it/v0uk3kknpdz41.jpg

Lol at George Santos’s face lighting up when someone asked him about Drag Race. pic.twitter.com/CifCY0JTLY

— Sawyer Hackett (@SawyerHackett) January 28, 2023

Kinda trivial piece here about how yes, Santos is a loon; no, most people don't care.

Gift link = https://wapo.st/3HVBgW4

I would not be surprised if the data presented here were accurate - only media and political junkies care about this inside baseball stuff, all politicians lie, etc. - but there is something flippant about the tone, as if to say "no one cares, nothin' to see, move along."

Thing is, MSM outlets' following this story is already seen as hypocrisy / bias by the right.

If wapo / nyt go even more Full Santos, in the hopes of telling people to care more, it gives that argument ammunition, and inevitable backlash

Congress is full of kooks, he's just a little more out there right now... I imagine most Americans neither know nor care about him

- Santos fires a staffer, claiming the staffer's past made him untrustworthy.

- As he does so, Santos jokes that the staffer might secretly record him.

- The staffer says he would never do that.

- He, apparently, did.

- We got the recording. https://t.co/47hS6OKzGf

— John Light (@LightTweeting) February 3, 2023

in a way i'm gonna miss Santos

i've barely listening to that 25 minute recording, but in my very first random skip to the middle of it, santos starts talking about how he used to be a journalist, "hopes

"so they charged me with passing out a recording that they knew was illegal. here's the thing the thing - the supreme court of the united states - i was journalist at the time...i'm coming over here...and i hope that doesn't go anywhere... but anyway, the supreme court had ruled that journalists are allowed to publish things. so let's say charlie gets really mad at you and he goes to the wall street journal and gives them a bunch of information..."

someone in the room makes the incredibly smarmy joke "i have an NDA for 3 years...that i WILL hold you accountable too" *smarmy laughter, very fake, long* "...I love this kid!"

Santos laughs along, without realizing or caring that he's the butt of the joke, and continues to speak about whatever he's talking about with 100% confidence

then the person he's talking to mentions that he has a NDA "

sorry, extra words scattered throughout that post. i'm just trying to say that he's getting owned by his underlings, who ALSO suck, and he doesn't seem to care

mark s I wish to say that your thoughts on george santos are very delightful to me and merit publication, in a slim volume, maybe a limited edition with a nice tactile cover bearing the title THE GARBAGE IS HOME TO HIM

ha ha Santos' staff must be thinking about how to scrub this job from their resumes

SCOOP: George Santos told some potential donors he was a producer on the Broadway Spider-Man Musical. Turns out, that wasn't the case.https://t.co/3DeXL4vf63

— Laura Davison (@laurapdavison) February 3, 2023

this guy is incredible

Turn off the dark

he'll get a reality show & a book deal out of all this

omg i finally realized who he really looks like - tobey maguire

he didn't produce Spider-Man, he was IN it.

but why would you take credit for a notorious failure, goddammit he is so bad at being insane it's practically genius

"hey, remember that space shuttle that blew up?" *snaps suspenders* "yeah, that was me. make yr checks out to devolder holdings, inc"

or fuck, wait, maybe that's the point. "government is bad, put me in and i'll destroy that rascally government once and for all!" and the oligarchs are like finally, someone who gets it

i heard it was george santos' idea to automatically put the U2 album on everyone's phone. that's how he met bono and got the spiderman production gig

what that’s crazy he wrote that album and performed every instrument

yeah, his performances were powerful on that album

Santos / Devolder ‘24
Even Better Than The Real Thing

even ignoring everything else about this guy...the crewneck sweater under the suit is such an odd look.

Santos bloody santos

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth

We're George, but we're not the same

https://www.thedailybeast.com/is-george-santos-now-trying-to-hide-his-spotify

This article, reporting on digging through George's sad Spotify playlists that he transparently denies are his, may be the low point in my compulsion to click on any news story involving George Santos. Still maybe the most entertaining hot mess in politics since Rob Ford.

https://img.thedailybeast.com/image/upload/c_crop,d_placeholder_euli9k,h_2118,w_3177,x_0,y_0/dpr_1.5/c_limit,w_690/fl_lossy,q_auto/GettyImages-1454458322_lyw4h2

He's having the fucking time of his life. Always got that kid after too much birthday cake energy.

"George, we're badly underpaid! Stop giggling."

Again with the sweater, maybe he feels the cold, idk.

I'd be laughing like that, too, since he's all but guaranteed two years in Congress followed by a book deal (for a book he won't have to write) and a paid exclusive interview or two.

This is George Santos we’re talking about; he’s not going to hire a ghostwriter, he’s going to hire someone to photocopy War and Peace.

imo he's just going to say, years later, that his book was on the NYT best seller list for 15 weeks. it will soon be revealed that he never submitted any book to a publisher

He'll just use Chat GPT.

Write the beginning of George Santos' autobiography

"My name is George Santos and I was born in a small fishing village on the coast of Brazil. I grew up in a tight-knit community, surrounded by the sea and a supportive family. I was the youngest of five children and the only boy in the family. Growing up, I was constantly surrounded by the love of my parents and siblings, and the hustle and bustle of our small fishing village.

From an early age, I was fascinated by the ocean and the mysteries that it held. I spent my days playing in the water, exploring the shoreline, and learning to fish with my father. I felt a deep connection to the sea, and I knew that whatever path I chose, it would involve the ocean in some way.

My parents encouraged my passion, and when I was just fifteen years old, I set off on my first fishing expedition with my father and some of the other men in the village. It was an incredible experience and I was hooked. From that moment on, I knew that I wanted to make a career out of fishing and adventure."

george santos at the talent show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2QxgoU00j8

For a long time I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say "I'm going to sleep." And half an hour later the thought that it was time to go to sleep would awaken me; I would try to put away the book which, I imagined, was still in my hands, and to blow out the light; I had been thinking all the time, while I was asleep, of what I had just been reading, but my thoughts had run into a channel of their own.

- excerpt from "In Search of Lost Santos" by Tony Devolder

xp “the sea was angry that day, my friends”

George Santos and Mitt Romney exchange words ahead of Biden's State of the Union address. pic.twitter.com/VrTe0wL4F1

— JM Rieger (@RiegerReport) February 8, 2023

https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/07/politics/sotu-santos-romney/index.html

Republican Sen. Mitt Romney of Utah told GOP Rep. George Santos of New York: “You don’t belong here,” according to a member who witnessed the tense exchange in the House of Representatives chamber Tuesday night.

lol, is this real? take with a grain of salt because a blue check is worth less than ever, and also why would santos be the one to share this news. but also, it's george santos

Rep. George Santos describes, to me, his exchange with Sen. Mitt Romney during the State of the Union tonight:

Mitt: You don’t belong here.

Santos: Go tell that to the 142K that voted for me.

Mitt: You’re an ass.

Santos: You’re a much bigger asshole.

— Kadia Goba (@kadiagoba) February 8, 2023

i guess santos thinks that makes him look like a badass?

Few things are more irritating than when Mitt Romney is right/relatable

Welcome to the #resistance, Mitt Romney

“with due respect, sir, it is you who is the ball-licker”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7xH72dFySg

Does Santos have a staff? People he has hired? Or are they automatically assigned? Because I can't imagine even an intern that wants this turd stuck to the bottom of their shoe, short of someone parlaying the experience into a book or something.

his tactical advisor vish burra (mentioned above in passing) actively embraces all this stuff

(and had done so with earlier clients also, tho santos seems the more perfect fit tbrr)

people were saying this same sort of thing about Trump, if he just sticks around long enough he'll have some legitimacy, and obviously nobody on the Republican side is gonna be calling for him to resign

he's much more vulnerable than trump to legal takedown

^^ this

Plus, a congressional district isn't the rest of the country.

Don't think we even mentioned this yet:

https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/05/politics/george-santos-prospective-staffer-complaint/index.html

Jayson Blair is a life coach. Stephen Glass is a paralegal.

Both wrote books and got speaking engagements.

Santos will be fine, don't worry about him.

BRB, printing up a bunch of t-shirts that say "Don't Worry, Be Santos."

I don't think anyone is worried about George Santos's future in here. He'll be immortalized in an impersonation on the next Snatch Game, I imagine, which will probably be another dream come true for him. It'll probably be like 4 Meghans and 2 Santoses and a bunch of YouTube makeup artists I don't know.

Rep George Santos (R-NY) tells reporters the criticism last night from Sen Mitt Romney (R-UT)….. “wasn't very Mormon.”

— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) February 8, 2023

This dude rules

hahaha

And the ass saw the angel ...

feels kinda like ya boi's turdliness isn't not the point (cf. trump, inevitably, endlessly), like if maybe there were orgs with something to gain from the continued erosion of faith (lol) in american democracy (lmao) then a spectacle of this nature is a straightforward win. republicans who aren't comfortable with embracing distilled bullshit get turned off, dems see yet another example of garbage rising to the top & continue to die inside, & more political oxygen gets ceded to jackals and psychopaths

santos is like if the flying kasparov dildo gained lost sentience, basically

🐦[Rep George Santos (R-NY) tells reporters the criticism last night from Sen Mitt Romney (R-UT)….. “wasn’t very Mormon.”
— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) February 8, 2023🕸]🐦

Mormonic

get a brain, mormans

Santos' new drag name should be Ethel Morman

this guy is on law & order right now

https://i.imgur.com/vLB6Kzd.png

"a fugitive con artist working as a political fund-raiser is charged in a triple homicide"

anyway he's a fantasist who never stops lying

George Santos's official congressional bio gives the absolute bare minimum information. Contrast with, say, MTG, and the bio includes her schooling, prior employment, and where she was born https://t.co/TqqEc48icN pic.twitter.com/6UD36Xm9gL

— Michael McDonald (@ElectProject) February 9, 2023

he's the Man Without a Past

tbd

"Would you believe..."

https://www.politico.com/news/2023/02/09/santos-charged-theft-2017-dog-breeders-00082091

Rep. George Santos was charged with theft in Pennsylvania’s Amish Country in 2017 after a series of bad checks were written in his name to dog breeders, according to the court and a lawyer friend who helped him address the charge.

Just days after $15,125 in checks were made out for “puppies,” according to the memo lines, Santos held an adoption event at a Staten Island pet store with his animal rescue charity Friends of Pets United, according to the store’s Instagram account and a person who attended the event.

The charge was dismissed and his record expunged after Santos claimed someone had stolen his checkbook, according to the court and the lawyer.

god its wild that there's a Congressman for whom "wrote bad checks to dog breeders" is only like the 12th weirdest thing about him

Master of puppies, I'm pulling your strings ...

We've been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish breeder hive

passing a bad chack to a puppy mill is no crime in my book

!t's crazy too how much of this shit is within the last 5 years too.

are all dog breeders considered puppy mills? (genuine q)

why was he buying puppies from breeders for a rescue event?

it's like the guy has been purposefully been trying to get a movie about him made by Adam McKay.

Breeders in Amish country are your classic puppy mills

puppy laundering, which is not as cute as it sounds

Boring otm, amish dog breeders have a reputation of being rather fucked

ah gotcha :(

Harvey Guillen as George Santos

xp I've heard the same - there's no free-trade, shade-grown puppies in Amish country

The freshman New York lawmaker, whose litany of false and misleading claims about his past has left him with few allies, even among his fellow Republicans, previously worked for an investment firm known as the Harbor City Capital Corporation. The company was shut down by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), which in 2021 called it a "classic Ponzi scheme."

another notch in his grifter belt

Here's that Queens restaurant again! I'm sure the bill came out to exactly $199.99:

Santos, then a regional director for Harbor City, promptly invited her and her client to dinner, Bogosian said in "Campaign of Deceit," which was released Thursday. She said when they arrived for the meal at Il Bacco, an Italian restaurant in Queens, she was brought into a "huge room" with "one table in the middle."

"He asked for a $300,000 principal investment, and he essentially said the client was not allowed to know what it was being invested in at all," Bogosian said, adding that she didn't like the sound of it. Bogosian's client turned Santos down.

Rep Anna Paulina Luna said that her father was a “messianic Jew,” which some family members dispute, and that she has Ashkenazi heritage. Her grandfather appeared to have served in the Nazi army while a young man in Germany. ⁦@JaxAlemany⁩ https://t.co/qfY2PypSPp

— Liz Goodwin (@lizcgoodwin) February 10, 2023

new coalition?

Luna’s congressional office did not provide answers to a detailed list of questions about her biography from The Post. When approached in person on Capitol Hill last week, Luna claimed she had not received any inquiry from The Post and declined to comment further. On Friday, Luna’s communications director, Edie Heipel, emailed The Post calling the questions “bizarre” and stating “our office will not be responding to you any further.”

oops

i am preparing myself to learn that luna is a complete fraud, but also, i don't think she will face any consequences for it whatsoever, from either gop leadership or her district

On Friday, Luna’s communications director, Edie Heipel, emailed the post saying “she has been burning the candle at both ends on Capitol Hill, as she is wont to do, and the poor little thing dropped like a stone yesterday afternoon from exhaustion. She will kick my ass for saying this later, but I just wanted to let you know, and ask that you send her good thoughts.”

praying 4 u luna!

the article itself is not that bad. george santos has kind of blown the curve for everyone

Luna? A fraud?

I’m now singing this thread title to the tune of “Do You Know the Way to San Jose”

#ripburt

#onethread

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/feb/10/george-santos-puppy-theft-charge-romney-sinema

lol Jimmy

Oh sorry, didn't see that this story had already been linked upthread.

xp

tbf her grandfather was only Nazi-ish

inna Santos stylee

Personally I did NOT have Jewish Hispanic fascists on my 2023 bingo card.

I badly want out of this particular absurdist dystopian timeline.

Please, all the thousand dark gods, send another comet or meteor or whatever, we beseech thee

the stuff about how luna's account of the a break-in to her apartment (as a "home invasion") was different than what actually happened ("a break-in at their shared apartment when they were not home") also falls flat, once you read the details. someone really was breaking into their home, more than once, enough for them to stay at a different residence for several days and put baby powder outside the door to capture footprints. their drawers were opened, and there was a used condom on the floor. i would be pretty freaked out too.

also she lived in missouri and that'll traumatize anyone

it just seems like a waste of time to get into that kind of stuff when she's literally wearing an AR-15 lapel in congress

think people really sleeping on Jimmy's joke

lol

On Thursday, Santos told Newsmax that the same night, the independent Arizona senator Kyrsten Sinema was “very polite, very kindhearted” and said: “Hang in there buddy.”

On Friday, a spokesperson for Sinema told CNN: “This is a lie.”

xp Yeah, I was doing a double take scrolling up on the thread, too.

lolol what DOESN'T he lie about

lol Jimmy

https://defector.com/the-man-who-invented-himself

I’ll just link my tweet instead of repeating it

George Santos is what happens when enough chutzpah aggregates in one place to become sentient

— DJP (@djperry1973) February 10, 2023

The Talented Mr Whippy

it's pretty funny that even after all this got exposed he's still lying his ass off about everything. the man don't give a fuck

the defector piece is p good btw

david roth cut his teeth finding ways to talk abt trump but now he has found his true subject

yeah I enjoyed that a lot

david roth cut his teeth finding ways to talk abt trump

Might as well Trump

TRUMP

Go ahead and Trump

.

— George Santos (@Santos4Congress) February 11, 2023

no lies detected

he's lying, it was ,

finally a chaotic evil gay in public office https://t.co/GiJ5wZ4D7B

— ella dawson (@brosandprose) February 11, 2023

no one's asking santos to go to the back of the room. i think everyone is asking him to leave and never come back

These people are remoras on the carcass of Trump.

do remoras have smiles as nice as george's YES THEY DO

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wierdnwildcreatures/images/5/52/Remora_front.jpg/

https://www.politico.com/news/2023/03/09/santos-masterminded-atm-fraud-feds-00086417

Santos had promised to hire El Chapo’s lawyer for Trelha, he said.

Santos kept a warehouse on Kirkman Road in Orlando to store the skimming equipment, according to the declaration.

“He had a lot of material — parts, printers, blank ATM and credit cards to be painted and engraved with stolen account and personal information.

“Santos gave me at his warehouse, some of the parts to illegally skim credit card information. Right after he gave me the card skimming and cloning machines, he taught me how to use them,” Trelha wrote.

who doesn't keep a warehouse in Orlando with spare items though

damn, santos (allegedly) stole the bail money too

lmao that's like 5 minutes from where I lived between 2011 - 2016. could have stopped him!

this guy.....

i can't even keep up with all of the crimes he done done

he was kind of a crime mentor in this caper

omg

Santos refused to accept his 2020 defeat, and, like Trump, falsely claimed that the vote totals had been somehow manipulated. He began raising money and hiring additional staff for a recount, insisting that half the Democratic ballots should have been discarded, and refused to leave the orientation session for new members of Congress even after Suozzi's victory was certified

Hypocrite libs thought it was cool when Aubrey Plaza did credit card fraud!!!!

More like Fraudrey Plaza.

Rep. George Santos has introduced a new vaccine bill called The Minaj Act, named after Nicki Minaj. https://t.co/nvroDT7FA4

— The FADER (@thefader) April 17, 2023

i mean nicki does love sexual predators so

Guy has some big balls

not what I hear

Santos also returned more in campaign donations than he took in the last quarter. Funny how that works out.

not to be outdone by all the Donald Trump news

CNN Exclusive: Federal prosecutors have filed criminal charges against New York Rep. George Santos, the Republican whose astonishing pattern of lies and fabrications stunned even hardened politicos, according to three sources familiar with the matter.

— Paul LeBlanc (@CNNPaul) May 9, 2023

When pressed for comment, Santos said it was a "different George Santos"

they got mixed up due to a diabolical glitch in the Santoverse

Santos is my Congressperson. I voted for one of the more progressive candidates because Zimmerman seemed like a total DNC hack.

― Unfairport Convention (PBKR), Wednesday, February 1, 2023 9:43 PM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

thanks PBKR

― forbidden fruit salad (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, February 1, 2023 9:46 PM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

Sorry :(

Otoh, I don't think Santos will finish his term.

― Unfairport Convention (PBKR), Wednesday, February 1, 2023 9:50 PM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

Not that this required any sort of political prognostication. Dude is dumb and sloppy.

One of the things that was shocking when I read The Master of the Senate was how little money would buy a congressional race and I don't know who bought this one but someone did.

Santos indictment is 13 counts. pic.twitter.com/0QtyTREvm2

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) May 10, 2023

can he count to 13

have to give a little respect to the man who knows how to diversify his revenue streams
(false unemployment claims, telling donors his company is a PAC/nonprofit and then buying luxury items)

The man does love his side hustles. I still hope there's more to come on his whole stealing puppies from Amish farmers and selling them as rescue dogs through his fake pet charity racket, would be a shame if that ends up just a footnote in the Santos saga: https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/2023/02/10/george-santos-amish-puppies/

e stealing puppies from Amish farmers and selling them as rescue dogs through his fake pet charity racket

This is still just so bonkers, it's like a C-story from "Seinfeld" or "Arrested Development" or something.

seems like straight up sociopathy can get you pretty far in american politics

I heard Santos has a degree in Sociopathy from Stanford.

So this is the clearest story I've read yet on all the shenanigans and...it's still complicated as hell.

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/05/george-santos-charged-criminal-case-doj.html

I had to do actual work for 20 years before I got a completely bullshit job in an entirely made-up industry.

It's not fair.

Why does someone like Santos just get handed shit, entire businesses whose "work" is amorphous vague buzzwords like "proactively leveraging synergies" or whatever?

What does any of it even MEAN? Like, do you go to work each day and sit at a desk and explore the investment potential of synergistic opportunities while proactively leveraging economies of scale in an agile environment from 8:00 to 4:30?

I'm completely serious. Like, literally, what is the shape of an actual work day of someone who "works" in this imaginary space? Is it meetings and phone calls? Do you have to read things? Send emails?

I readily admit that my own job is probably bullshit but the Santosverse seems to be a whole new level of bullshit where you just incorporate and money somehow just rolls in.

If it's that easy, why isn't everyone doing it? Like, why bother growing food or making shoes or writing vampire books or walking other people's dogs or painting houses or... anything, really?

If all you need to do is come up with a fancy-sounding name and get someone to file paperwork, then millions of dollars arrive...

you have to be a sociopath tbf

Maybe I should try that. It sounds easier than working.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYzBhNmQ4YmMtNDFiYi00NDkyLWE1ZTEtODNjYmY0ZjgzMzYyXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTM3MDMyMDQ@._V1_.jpg

I'm completely serious. Like, literally, what is the shape of an actual work day of someone who "works" in this imaginary space? Is it meetings and phone calls? Do you have to read things? Send emails?

I readily admit that my own job is probably bullshit but the Santosverse seems to be a whole new level of bullshit where you just incorporate and money somehow just rolls in.

If it's that easy, why isn't everyone doing it? Like, why bother growing food or making shoes or writing vampire books or walking other people's dogs or painting houses or... anything, really?

If all you need to do is come up with a fancy-sounding name and get someone to file paperwork, then millions of dollars arrive...

Yeag Boring MD I kind of thought I had decent grift going because I can sit at a desk for a while each day, and then subsequently feed my children and pay my exorbitant mortgage.

But these Santos-esque dudes have taken it to a new level where they don't appear to need to do the first part. And not only do they get enough money to live on, they have enough left over to buy a seat in the U.S. freaking Congress?

Like, where is the line to get in on that shit because it sounds super chill: money, power, no work, and lots of cashmere sweaters. Sign me up plz

Yeah but a non-trivial number of them end up in jail

^^^

this is why the people who do this are sociopaths, you have to be a person who really thinks "consequences are for other people" and believes it to tolerate what would otherwise be the ego-fracturing pressure of living a con 24/7

I want to know about all the attempted grifts that failed. Was he using other name combinations and just emailing people with

"Hello Sir,

I am George Devolder, and I have an excellent investment opportunity. We have a nonprofit in Buenos Aires that connects underprivileged capybara owners in Uruguay with tiktokers in Florida."

He was apparently wining and dining clients at the same Queens restaurant that had all the suspicious campaign expenditures of exactly $199.99/

the man know how to acquire and spend money. he's the punch in the arm this economy needs

Leave capybaras out of it. They are innocent wonderful giant guinea pigs and I love them so.

oh and those amish dogs were guilty?

alsatian origins tbf

Money laundering is a hard gig to beat if you're not afraid of inviting the wrath of the feds and Los Zetas.

I feel like there are revelations to come about who's at the other end of his deals. Not necessarily anything mindblowing, more likely hilarious. Second-rate gangsters of assorted stripes.

This is a good read.

NEW: I spent months talking w/ George Santos for a potential documentary on him (my team eventually ditched the project when it was clear he wanted lots of $).

In our conversations Santos offered striking remarks on his scandals & a notable “Jewish” impression (audio below)…🧵

— Blake Zeff (@blakezeff) May 11, 2023

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2023/05/11/george-santos-brazil-case-theft/

RIO DE JANEIRO — Rep. George Santos signed a deal with Brazilian prosecutors Thursday in which the New York Republican confessed to theft and agreed to pay restitution and fines if prosecutors agree to drop the criminal case against him, bringing a likely resolution in a case that has tailed the embattled politician for more than a decade.

Santos appeared virtually Thursday afternoon at the criminal court hearing in the Rio suburb of Niterói, during which he was given 30 days to pay around $2,000 in fines and $2,800 to the victim. The case won’t be dismissed until the payments are made, court officials said.

Is there a GoFundMe for this?

Yea, from organizer Tony De Santolder

so this dude is basically an It's Always Sunny character? I mean he's contrived a bunch of insane, obviously stupid grifts which he never suffered any consequences for. except since this is reality and not a sitcom the schemes actually worked. getting arrested after winning a Congressional seat feels like a possible ending for the show too

there's definitely a madcap series to be made from it all. Who would be a good Santos?

Meryl Streep.

Harvey Guillén from WWDITS maybe?

^^ excellent choice

Lionel Hutz

Mr. Bean

Harvey Guillén from WWDITS maybe?

he plays Santos on Colbert

Rep George Santos (R-NY) returns to federal court on June 30

In the meantime ===> pic.twitter.com/ld9MRLMa4c

— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) May 14, 2023

GOP Rep. George Santos' communications director Naysa Woomer has resigned, writing in a resignation email obtained by Scripps News that she's "honored" to quit and that the congressman "never took one point of professional advice."

lol anyone who agreed to work with him is a spineless grifter

Dying at "I'm honored to quit this job, man!"

Just the idea of volunteering for, donating to, or working for clowns of this type seems completely insane.

But to be fair I have done jobs that wouldn't make sense to anyone else because, well, I needed a job in that moment.

Given the current labor market I think we can all be more choosy.

it's kinda like responding to a classified ad "butthole cleaner needed - caution, very leaky", and then leaving the job cos you think it's 'too messy'

I hear Rudy needs a new assistant

it's kinda like responding to a classified ad "butthole cleaner needed - caution, very leaky", and then leaving the job cos you think it's 'too messy'

― the manwich horror (Neanderthal),

aka Manwich horror

lol

huge irl lol!

FLASH: Federal judge in New York has agreed to unseal records showing identities of the people who helped Rep. George Santos (R-NY) make $500,000 bond in his criminal fraud case

But judge keeps records sealed thru Friday to give Santos time to appeal in Eastern District of NY

— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) June 6, 2023

Previously:

His defense argues the three people who helped provide Santos' bond "are likely to suffer great distress, may lose their jobs, and God forbid, may suffer physical injury."

"There is little doubt that the suretors will suffer some unnecessary form of retaliation if their identities and employment are revealed," Santos' motion also said. It closed with the declaration, "My client would rather surrender to pretrial detainment than subject these suretors to what will inevitably come."

Can I just say how great it would be if everyone shifted back from "breaking news" to "News Flash!"

I don't for a second believe that last statement. This guy will say or do anything to keep out of jail.

the "great distress" will be when everyone laughs at them

"breaking news" to "News Flash!"

My vote is for "Extra, extra, read all about it!"

Wuxtry, for the discerning reader.

Congressman George Santos on the Adam Schiff Sham:
"We must preserve the integrity of the U.S House of Reps. and censure Adam Schiff today." pic.twitter.com/cXzDMIYE9N

— Rep. George Santos (@RepSantosNY03) June 14, 2023

how is this guy still in office

"My client would rather surrender to pretrial detainment than subject these suretors to what will inevitably come."

Natch. Rich people who own their own tame Congressional rep demand servility and Santos knows enough to oblige them.

this is like Rick Ross when he called other rappers fake gangsters

TS: Schiff sham vs flim flam man

could happen to anyone

https://abcnews.go.com/US/former-santos-staff-member-charged-impersonating-mccarthy-aide/story?id=102318360&cid=social_twitter_abcn

It's just grifters all the way down.

Who grifts the griftsmen?

i had a few too many one night in college and solicited political donations by impersonating a congressional aide, these kids just have a little growing up to do

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2023/08/31/george-santos-brazil/

Parizzi said her friendship with Santos finally ruptured in the fall of 2014. She said she’d recently petitioned the United States for asylum, and while the case was pending, she and Bruna stayed with Santos and his then-partner, Pedro Vilarva. The living situation was tense. Vilarva said he was beginning to doubt Santos. “Everything was fake stories,” Vilarva told The Post.

One day, Parizzi and Vilarva accused Santos of stealing from them. “He pawned my phone,” Vilarva said. Parizzi, who soon moved with her daughter into a homeless shelter, said her jewelry had been taken. In Facebook messages with Santos she shared with The Post, she pleaded for the jewelry’s return.

“They aren’t your things,” she wrote on Feb. 7, 2015. “Why is this so complicated?”

Over the coming weeks, the messages show, he responded to her pleas with insults and accused her of sabotaging his relationship with Vilarva.

“An ingrate filled with evil,” he called her.

“A fat dump no one wants,” he called her.

“Crawl back into the hole you came from, snake,” he told her.

What I want: people like him to either get the help they need or, at least, remain far from the levers of power.

What I'd settle for: people like him to be removed from positions of power. Preferably with some punishment for the manifold deceptions and grifts.

What I'll probably get: this guy skating away with precisely zero consequences, and with a self-serving narrative about how he's the real victim here.

Sigh.

Santos has competition

Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ) on law enforcement finding thousands of dollars in cash in his closets:

“For 30 years, I have withdrawn thousands of dollars in cash from my personal savings account .. for emergencies and because of the history of my family facing confiscation in Cuba.” pic.twitter.com/1au7KwipeO

— The Recount (@therecount) September 25, 2023

Naturally he's a big Menendez defender, game recognize game

Santos: I don’t think Menendez should resign pic.twitter.com/8g2jQi3SQd

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 24, 2023

Bob Menendez’s family (like Marco Rubio’s) emigrated under Fulgencio Batista, not Fidel Castro

Not seeing anything about the family’s wealth being confiscated, and not sure there was much to confiscate to begin with; they were a carpenter and seamstress respectively https://t.co/sdtDZ2kUVc pic.twitter.com/G3nT2e7xBf

— Andrés Pertierra (@ASPertierra) September 25, 2023

ALERT: Nancy Marks, a former aide to Rep. George Santos (R-NY), has been arrested and charged by the feds

Court filings indicate a plea deal is in the works

— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) October 5, 2023

damn, biden admin is draining the swamp

Marks was later revealed to be Santos in a Studio 54 wig

ALERT: Superseding indictment against Rep George Santos (R-NY). He now faces *23* charges, including conspiracy & fraud. Feds: “Santos allegedly led multiple additional fraudulent criminal schemes, lying to the American public in the process.” pic.twitter.com/oGK4O84jo0

— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) October 10, 2023

Oops

C'mon, just a little oopsie whoopsie... or 23.

Sadly a criminal indictment is no longer grounds to step down from political office

Sort of low key twisting of the knife that this news is greeted by … crickets. All he ever wanted was attention

23 and G

the theory is that he ran for office to grift republican congressional committee coffers but I don’t think that’s quite all of it

it’s just new grifts to cover for old grifts all the way down. the man cannot be stopped. he’d rent an airbnb on a stolen credit card and leave a terrible review before selling the furnishings. there’s just no end!

Said this before, but his American Crime Story season is gonna be straight fire.

John Travolta is....Santos

That's my guy.

A star that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

xp it’ll be Evan Peters in a fat suit and he’ll still somehow win an Emmy

Trump - Santos 2024

Santos - Trump

Marat/Sade

Santos-Santorum

I don't practice santosria

I do not sniff the coke I only smoke santosmilla

meanwhile:
i saw mommy kissing santos (george) in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me

shd have written more of it (any of it) down the moment i woke but i had a long dream last night strongly featuring santos (george) up to his tricks

This story in short: Santos well into "Can I Borrow A Feeling" mode:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/22/nyregion/george-santos-interview.html

Weird, true DC story thread:

I began my career working for a member of Congress, and I still have an account with the Congressional credit union. I needed to go to one of their branches yesterday afternoon, so I drove up to the Hill…..

— Ian Larsen (@Ian_Larsen) October 24, 2023

A fraudster hanging around in a bank

It's where the money is!

too bad non-twitter-users can't find out what happened in that presumably amazing story

Santos killed a puppy

that monster!

The thing I keep marveling at is that Santos allegedly DID kill someone’s dog

too bad non-twitter-users can't find out what happened in that presumably amazing story

https://nitter.net/Ian_Larsen/status/1716848789841969363

this dude gives me Martin Shkreli vibes. he just comes off like he's playing a character in a movie all the time. but it's one of those movies that shitty people constantly learn the wrong message from

Yeah, like Wolf of Wall Street, but instead of a wolf it's a mangy stray dog.

The way Elon came after my meme with that community note is abhorrent.

— Rep. George Santos (@RepSantosNY03) October 25, 2023

come at me bro

Everything has an end in life.

— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) October 26, 2023

he's about to Budd Dwyer a Santos lookalike

he survived goddammit wtf

A Republican-led effort to oust Rep. George Santos (R-N.Y.) from office failed on Wednesday, allowing the embattled GOP lawmaker to stay in the House despite mounting legal and political trouble.

The chamber voted 179-213-19 on a resolution to oust Santos from office, far short of the two-thirds threshold needed to expel a member of Congress.

I can see why Dems voted to keep him around, actually

If there was a single ounce of ETHICS in the “Ethics committee”, they would have not released this biased report. The Committee went to extraordinary lengths to smear myself and my legal team about me not being forthcoming (My legal bills suggest otherwise).

It is a disgusting…

— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) November 16, 2023

If there was a single ounce of ETHICS in the “Ethics committee”, they would have not released this biased report. The Committee went to extraordinary lengths to smear myself and my legal team about me not being forthcoming (My legal bills suggest otherwise).

It is a disgusting politicized smear that shows the depths of how low our federal government has sunk. Everyone who participated in this grave miscarriage of Justice should all be ashamed of themselves.

We the People desperately need an Article V Constitutional Convention.

We are quickly approaching $34 trillion dollars in debt, the government is continuously on the verge of a shutdown, our southern border is wide open, our current President is the head of an influence peddling crime family, and all this Congress wants to do is attack their political enemies with tit for tat unconstitutional censures, impeachments, expulsions and ethics investigations. THE TIME IS NOW FOR THE STATES TO RISE UP AND COMMENCE AN ARTICLE V CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION!

I’ve come to expect vitriol like this from political opposition but not from the hallowed halls of public service.

I will remain steadfast in fighting for my rights and for defending my name in the face of adversity. I am humbled yet again and reminded that I am human and I have flaws, but I will not stand by as I am stoned by those who have flaws themselves. I will continue on my mission to serve my constituents up until I am allowed. I will however NOT be seeking re-election for a second term in 2024 as my family deserves better than to be under the gun from the press all the time.

Public service life was never a goal or a dream, but I stepped up to the occasion when I felt my country needed it most. I will 100% continue to maintain my commitment to my conservative values in my remaining time in Congress.

They went and did it. They took down the last good man.

I have a feeling Santos is going to end up being the leader of a group of survivors in post-Apocalyptic America.

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/499/396/e70.jpg

he lived the creed. more than you can say about the rest of us.

xxp i was just thinking how this guy is Danny McBride character and that's exactly what happened to him in This is the End.

https://i.imgur.com/TOe6mS8.png

the muppet that made falun glem weep

*MR* muppet that made falun glem weep

“to smear myself” literally made me guffaw

"My legal bills suggest otherwise" for December thread title.

he was carrying a baby around again the other day!

That was Lil' Grand-Boebert, iirc.

Wonder if Santos will just burn every bridge on the way out, pack his pockets from the capital cafeteria, steal equipment from the office, show up in his bathrobe, if he bothers to show up at all.

this is him and i want him to carry on this way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtfHaJKW1zQ

DeSantis ain't the only guy stuffing his pockets with chicken tenders!

Love me tenders, love me meat
Never let me go
You have made my life complete
And I love you so

So he's saying we won't have George Santos to kick around any more?

After the $50,000 from RedStone was deposited into Representative Santos’ personal accounts, the funds were used to, among other things: pay down personal credit card bills and other debt; make a $4,127.80 purchase at Hermes; and for smaller purchases at Only Fans; Sephora; and for meals and for parking.

legend.

Sephora is like “don’t bring me into this mess”

hell, OnlyFans is too!

one of the western world's grandest grifters

Santos is totally starting an OnlyFans once he's out of office.

Can't help but think his whole campaign/term has been some long-game reboot of Candid Camera and the lapel-cam footage is going to be hilarious when it comes out in early '25.

OnlyFlans = George Santos covered in custard

no

what the hell is the ARTICLE V CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION shit about? I'm kinda hoping he goes full sovereign citizen Queen of Canada style cult leader next

Santos not running for re-election so that he can run for Queen of Canada.

all's I know is one of the queens better do George on Snatch Game this year... but it will probably be all TikTok hos I don't know

I assume he's talking about pushing through the Balanced Budget Amendment, ending Birthright Citizenship, abortion ban, Senators appointed by state legislatures, etc.--the GOP wish list.

Me thinks the world will forget about this clown very very very quickly

Or… we end up with Santos ‘28

Dancing with the Stars
Masked Singer
Celebrity Rehab

lots of opportunites

podcast with Madison Cawthorn?

yeah think this guy might be a Z-list celeb for some time period. I mean Blago was on Celebrity Apprentice

lol he's going to be like Martha Stewart

He does seem to have some personality and no prob with embarrassing himself for the whole world to see.

They want a Constitutional Convention so they can rewrite the Constitution and take out the things they don’t like. That’s high on the GOP’s list of long term goals.

We’re living in an episode of VEEP pic.twitter.com/5F05LsibI4

— Jordan Alexander (@JordnAlexnder) November 16, 2023

Kennedy interviewing Santos - this simulation is messed up.

"ahhhh youjustcan'ttellthetruth"

xp grift recognize grift

i know this has been said by others, but every time i see this thread title, i giggle

I am feeling deprived that I'm not going to get to vote against this guy again.

he did not deny the banana thing

Santos, who described himself in the conversation as the Republican “It Girl” as well as the “Mary Magdalene of the United States Congress,” defiantly declared: “I’m not leaving.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/11/27/george-santos-expel-congress/

Embattled Rep. George Santos (R-N.Y.) is predicting he will be expelled from Congress as early as this week following the release of a scathing report from the House Ethics Committee that found “substantial evidence” that he knowingly violated ethics guidelines, House rules and criminal laws.

In a three-hour-long, expletive-laden conversation held on X Spaces, Santos declined to comment on the array of allegations brought up by the report, claiming that his words could be used against him in an ongoing criminal case in which he faces 23 federal charges, including fraud, money laundering, falsifying records and aggravated identity theft.

Santos did, however, describe the Ethics Committee report as “slanderous” and claimed that his colleagues are trying to force him out of his House seat. He also accused Ethics Committee Chairman Michael Guest (R-Miss.) of “weaponizing” his position and publishing a “hit-piece” against him.

Santos, who described himself in the conversation as the Republican “It Girl” as well as the “Mary Magdalene of the United States Congress,” defiantly declared: “I’m not leaving.”

“Come hell or high water, it’s done when I say it’s done,” he said during the conversation on Friday night.

Still, the lawmaker appeared to believe his fate is sealed.

“I know I’m going to get expelled when this expulsion resolution goes to the floor,” said Santos, referring to a motion to remove him that Guest introduced on Nov. 17. “I’ve done the math over and over, and it doesn’t look really good.”

...

During the X Spaces conversation, Santos said he does not want to continue working with “with a bunch of hypocrites” in Congress, whom he accused of committing more severe infractions than him, including being “more worried about getting drunk every night” with lobbyists.

Santos, without providing evidence, also accused his colleagues of trying to “sell off the American people” and of voting while hung over.

“They all act like they’re in ivory towers with white pointy hats and they’re untouchable,” he said. “Within the ranks of United States Congress, there’s felons galore.”

Santos also zeroed in on Guest, challenging the Mississippi Republican to “be a man” and quickly move the resolution forward.

A spokeswoman for Guest did not immediately respond to a request for comment. When the Ethics Committee released the report, Guest, in an accompanying statement, said that the evidence uncovered by the investigation into Santos “is more than sufficient to warrant punishment and the most appropriate punishment, is expulsion.”

On Friday, Santos said he will wear his expulsion “like a badge of honor.”

“I’ll be expelled because people simply did not like me,” he said.

republicans sure love to take words that previously had some sort of coherent meaning ("weaponize", "fake news", "woke") and just compleeeeeeeeeeeeetely obliterate their use

Santos said he does not want to continue working with “with a bunch of hypocrites” in Congress, whom he accused of committing more severe infractions than him, including being “more worried about getting drunk every night” with lobbyists.

Santos, without providing evidence, also accused his colleagues of trying to “sell off the American people” and of voting while hung over.

“They all act like they’re in ivory towers with white pointy hats and they’re untouchable,” he said. “Within the ranks of United States Congress, there’s felons galore.”

lol where's the lie?

hey if Santos actually has evidence of this shit by all means spill it out. you'd be a hero. but didn't Madison Cawthorn kinda promise the same thing?

i trust george, i enjoy his smile

Cawthorn was talking about orgies. George was probably not invited to those.

white pointy hats

lol, "more than."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWgebUIBqXk

311 voted him out.

But what did Sublime with Rome do?

Don't Start A Ri-ott!

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/george-santos-expelled-congress-1234905936/

lol “music-news”, is he putting out an expulsion mixtape

Probably?

Omg I hadn’t seen the allegation that he ran up credit card bills on a sitting member of the House and his mother, lmao

Majority of GOP caucus voted to keep him in office.

i feel like being a career low level con artist who runs for congress, wins, and then has his entire financial life exposed to the public and is charged with massive fraud by the federal government redefines the concept of “flying too close to the sun”

I wonder who the two democrats were who voted to keep him. the last vote had a few more and you could tell some were in the line of “let him cook, I want to see what else we find out”

The way Santos acted in office did not seem like someone who was overly regretful of his actions, or that concerned with being expelled.

He is definitely more of a cultural presence than he would have been in he'd resigned back when he was first exposed.

john b clark (d-mo), 1861
john w reid (d-mo), 1861
henry c burnett (d-ky), 1861
ozzie myers (d-pa), 1980
james traficant (d-oh), 2002
george santos (volleyball enthusiast, 2023)

i do think he'll be invited onto one of those shows where you dance

Non-paywalled gift link if you want it

https://wapo.st/3TbLE1X

And z_, you know that Sarah Palin was on The Masked Singer, right? It was a whole thing.

Giuliani too, infamously

Tom DeLay was on the dance show

oh definitely! sean spicer was, as well, and i think rick perry started wearing glasses after learning about them on dancing with the stars

i do think he'll be invited onto one of those shows where you dance

also, donald trump became president because he was on the apprentice

fake news

xp i think there is a 100.0% probability of santos being on one of those shows, it would be astonishing if he isn't within a year or so

Giuliani on... masked singer? Hate giving that guy any more exposure, but everyone groaning or even walking out in disgust, that's good tv, baby

Andy Warhol said that in the future, everyone will dance on television for eleven minutes

i love him so much

Santos' parting words: "I no longer have to answer a single question."

The New York Republican left the House floor early as his expulsion became inevitable and left the Capitol in a Jaguar SUV. https://t.co/vptEfM4mRE

— POLITICO (@politico) December 1, 2023

gotcha follow-up to santos: so you think you can dance?

I dunno, this all feels a little homophobic

(I'm joking tbc)

Wait, _whose_ Jaguar SUV? Because you know it wasn’t his

Also, did he manage to smuggle his chair out under his coat?

I wonder just how many members of Congress will discover in the coming months/years that they've been identity theived by someone on the inside.

i like this letter from max miller (R-OH) explaining why he voted to expel.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GARsGUUWgAAWRxB?format=jpg&name=large

After the first two paragraphs, that third one was *chef's kiss*.

It's all fun and games until someone uses mom's credit card.

Okay I know this is petty under the circumstances, but please don't try to wear a shirt, tie, sweater, jacket, and lapel pin all at once. Pick two or three at most.

he's on his way to the tgif's interview

*tgi fridays

Why does he capitalize mother

tgi friday lore:

Most TGI Fridays have a propeller and a rowing scull on display as part of their antiques, which are actually a part of a story told to all TGI Fridays employees; the scull always contains a pair of saddle shoes and a bottle of champagne to remind employees of the value of teamwork, leadership, and celebrating success. The propeller is always above or near the bar. The thought is that the bar "propels" the restaurant.

xpost he's referring to mike pence's spouse

yes, she is the real victim here

Why does he capitalize mother

Flowers outside Santos office pic.twitter.com/xIoBLEuQ11

— Howard Mortman (@HowardMortman) December 1, 2023

byeee

George Santos is being punished for simply having the adventure of a lifetime.

— Gourmet Spud (@gourmetspud) November 17, 2023

I'm a big fan of the proper senators, who possess the panache and class that angers the jealous haters, i.e. the likes of Bob Menendez and George Santos!

Wait, was Santos telling people he was a senator? Because it would track

nah, I think calz is just confusing our legislative branches

oops sorry!

Santos L Halper, Senator

obviously I'm glad he's not in Congress anymore but I am actually pretty damn impressed at the scale and breadth of his various grifts. there are a number of people whose entire life is a lie but Santos' life was 20 different lies at the same time. I mean obviously he didn't do a great job keeping them straight and everything sorta unraveled the instant you looked into literally any of it but still, takes some balls to even try

I dunno, this all feels a little homophobic

― active spectator of ecocide and dispossession (Eric H.), Friday, December 1, 2023 10:37 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink