review desserts

berry (unknown) crumble

soggy, oversweet topping, berries from frozen and a mush, custard to side sweet and thick, ice cream to side vanilla, not bad

10/10 no notes

sainsburys tiramisu

tasty enough, dropped it on my carpet though, fairly difficult clean. 6/10

Oatmeal Raisin Walnut Clif Bar

Kind of dry. Also, I didn't detect any actual raisins in it. 3/10

ritter sport with the cornflakes

good 10/10

chocolate brownie in kennington pub 20 years ago

literally brought tears to my eyes, 100/100

this is a thread to be populated in the present if you all please

desserts in the now

current cake

present pie

my tiramisu incident occurred within the hour preceding this thread's creation, your honour

I fished the wrapper for the Clif Bar out of my trash can.

doubtless someone will poll their 50 greatest ever desserts before the day is out mind

This cheesecake
https://i.postimg.cc/Gh0thKp9/D1-B0-DD91-E1-A3-4-CDF-A136-F90-AAB5-F263-D.jpg

Which I had in Eleven City Diner in Chicago over a year ago and which haunts me like Proust’s madeleines.

Cheesecake is the best of all desserts, even though you will meet iconoclasts who dispute this, like Fizzles, but these people are wrong and bad. Unfortunately I fear their perspective is coloured by the vast amount of merely fine cheesecake that you get almost everywhere.

I was Anton Egon with his first sliver of ratatouille. A description from Oscar and Lucinda flashed in my mind:
“A broken thing, a miracle, a tragedy, a dream..."

The tragedy was that it was finite. The broken aspect was how much cream came with it. Excessive!

In any case, perfect texture and flavour. My better half ordered a beaut of a sundae that he didn’t enjoy so much. The memory of the cheesecake lives on. 11/10.

this is a thread to be populated in the present if you all please

ritter sport with the cornflakes

good 10/10

xxp Beautiful. I thought at first you wrote "Elven City Diner," which would have made it literally magical.

Cannoli from Giuliani's Deli

Was a cannoli. Crumbly shell, slightly sweetened ricotta filling. Ends dipped in small chocolate chips. Dusted in powdered sugar.

Impossible to eat without making a giant mess. If you bite into it whole you have a face full of powdered sugar. If you cut it with a knife the shell explodes.

Perfection. 11/10

Flourless butterscotch scone (American)

Definitely sweet, but with good maillard on the outside, nice and crispy without being too dry, big chunks of butterscotch, 4/5

is that cheesecake baked?

shite if so

I have never heard of baked cheesecake.

Yes but it was good. You know my opinions on chilled cheesecake, though that cheesecake I had in Dublin that time not a great example of the form tbhwy

basic jam doughnut from Asda, 9.5/10, so fresh and fluffy and so much jam

might have to lower that score if i find myself eating the whole bag in one go

A small chunk of a Tony's Chocolonely Dark Chocolate Pretzel Toffee Bar. An accomplished balance of bitter, sweet and crunchy. 9/10.

Banana bread w/walnuts, made by me. Didn't have quite enough butter and only had fat-free Greek yogurt, so added a hopeful amount of olive oil to compensate. Turned out great. Had another slice this morning, toasted with yogurt, olive oil, and salt on top. 5/6.

Nutella and tahini brownie from a Lebanese restaurant. Amazingly rich and delicious. Pretty big so I split one half with my partner; she ate the second half the next night after I went to sleep
Brownie 9/10
Partner’s trustworthiness 3/10

Mmm (also lol)

tony's chocolonely is fuckin ubiquitous here and the packaging aesthetics ensure I will never be even slightly tempted to buy it tbh

Is the point of that name to neg you into buying it?

lol exactly and that's before we get to the font

not deterred by the name or the font so much as the price tbh

apparently it's because Tony felt like he was the only one in the chocolate industry who cared about ending slave labour. fair enough if that's genuine, I suppose (could explain the price!). the flavour jimbeaux mentioned does sound good

Tony’s is delicious and anyone avoiding it is just codding themselves. Also provided one of the funniest moments when SV & I got one of the advent calendars and he threw a massive tantrum when he opened his day and there was no chocolate there.

stiffing your customers to illustrate that capitalism is bad

Best Tony’s in order:

1. Salted caramel
2. Milk chocolate chip cookie
3. Dark pretzel toffee
4. Hazelnut
5. Almond honey nougat

xp it was unbelievably funny, especially cos it didn’t happen to me

that's how funny things work imo

(i would definitely have lost my shit and probably eaten the whole calendar out of spite)

Also provided one of the funniest moments when SV & I got one of the advent calendars and he threw a massive tantrum when he opened his day and there was no chocolate there.

― ydkb (gyac), Tuesday, August 29, 2023 2:17 PM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

post this story on reddit :)

gotta say in this case Tony's Chocolonely ITA

eating into the wind n'est le nv

right even i have to admit thats obscure posting tbf

Absolutely not lol, plus it got covered on the news, no need. This is all getting away from the main point, which is that Tony’s is really good and I’d say actually far better than Ritter.

tonys is good its like a better yorkie but like a much better yorkie except for the biscuit and raisin yorkie which nothing is much better than

ok so i can buy in the region of 6 Yorkies for the price of a Tony's

not that i'm ruling out trying a Tony's one day just saying there's hyperinflation y'know

xp noted

anyway they had rum and raisin Ritter in Asda today which is top dog but i went the doughnuts route instead

I'll definitely try Tony's if I see it in Montreal. I do have to say that while I take issue with imago's pro-slavery stance, he is right about the typography being unpleasant

Pro-tip: you don’t have to worry about the typography if you remove the wrapper and eat the chocolate

haha I'll give it a shot

Yorkies imo not very good, the chocolate reminds me of cheap choc ices where the label says they’re chocolate flavoured. Couldn’t tell you the last time I deliberately bought one, maybe during the first Obama administration?

i swear to god Tesco did an own brand chocolate bar called Excreme Caramel at one point but i can't find the picture i took so maybe it was a drunk fever dream

On a recent soujourn to Peckham I encountered "popping candy" (what I still think of as *space dust*) Tony's and I am not sure if I can wholeheartedly recommend it tbh. Nevertheless ate the whole thing in one sitting. 6/10.

Private Selection Spiced Peach Ice Cream: 3/10, almost no peach flavor. If it were marketed as Fall Spice or "Pie Spice" or somesuch I'd give it 5, but this was too deceptive.

The first time I had Tony’s was in Amsterdam and it was some kind of Easter limited edition - milk chocolate with these little shards of bright lemon candy shell or something. Maybe the best chocolate I’ve ever had. Lemon and chocolate is not even a pairing I like at all, usually.

My latest dessert was a bougie vegan white chocolate (some kind of “nutritional” brand that promotes its stuff as keto, etc) made from just
Cashews
Cocoa butter
Monk fruit
Vanilla
Jerusalem artichoke fiber

Texture: super creamy and smooth 10/10
Taste: not too sweet, not very chocolatey, slight fake-sugar after-taste 6/10

Ritter dark w/almond on sale at the local discount grocery, 10/10 will eat again

We have Tony's here in America, it's fine.

nah that stuff is made with earwax over there

over here its lard and wool

lol. I was wondering if it was better in the UK/EU or if you all are just easily impressed by chocolate bars.

Yeah Americans don’t get to critique readily available chocolate given the shit produced there

Hershey still wanted at The Hague iirc

Not for eating

Anything Hershey's related is obviously trash. The peak of commercially available chocolate products here is the Trader Joe's dark chocolate peanut butter cup imo, a perfect bite, 10/10. Recently had the dark chocolate bark with almond + pretzels + sea salt too, might be even better since you can never have enough salt (+ added crunch).

Wasn’t impressed by TJ’s chocolate when I was there. Fine would be generous. Their graham crackers otoh.

i rescind my comment i didnt need this thread to turn partisan

i have chocolate opinions too, that are the most richly rewarding to read of anything you could imagine. but i won't be sharing them here because someone flagged my lighthearted appreciation of ritter sport with the cornflakes.

(I didn’t actually do that, it was just a joke)

gluten free berry cheesecake

it was ok, i didn't expect them to have cheesecake at the local safeway and the ice cream selection there sucks. i was going to eat it after i swapped paint with the most broken down car i've ever seen but it was too frozen so i went back to talk to the guy who said he owned it and sorted things out and ate it after it defrosted a while. i've had worse grocery store cheesecake. i'll say that. the label said it was "locally made" but that can mean seattle so i'm not sure i trust the label.

(I didn’t actually do that, it was just a joke)

― ydkb (gyac), Tuesday, August 29, 2023 9:29 PM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i was also kind of joking but now fully joking since you said you were joking

i'm a little sensitive about my ritter sports

Unfortunately for me the ilx consensus agrees with you,

I had no idea Tony would spark an extended conversation. This may be the longest reaction to any post of mine ever lol

look i get sushiritos with cheetos in them for crunchy texture, a little knusperflakes in my ritter sport isn't something i'm gonna turn up my nose at

We had a German exchange student about 15 years ago, he was mad for Ritter Sport and Monster energy drinks.

who isn't??????

or did you mean simultaneously?

At times, yes.

just had a raisin and biscuit yorkie. the chocolate itself is the problem, has that oversoft oversweet quality exemplified by the hated lindor. a very generous 5/10. luckily bought a double decker and a crunchie as well. appreciate this means war. so be it

Lindor is very bad. It’s so oily.

it's some of the worst food in existence imo

The URL speaks for itself, 10/10

https://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/bacon-candy

The cornflake ritter sport is elite.

I have never heard of baked cheesecake.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Monday, August 28, 2023 4:30 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Interesting! I've only ever made baked cheesecake. I know you can make no-bake ones but have never tried that before. My grandmother taught me and it's the German way which is v similar to real Italian cheesecake if you've ever had that.

Are pudding and custard generic and representative (conjuring) names for desserts in England?

Is Yorkshire pudding a savory bread? Does anyone eat mint jelly with lamb? Do the English eat sweet things in every course? How do they counter the sweetness?

custard is custard, pudding can mean pudding but it can also mean any dessert

yorkshire pudding is savory

yes

no

n/a

Yeah British people use the term “pudding” as a generic term for dessert afaict. Yorkshires are savoury aren’t they? Usually see them in roasts.

Yorkshire puds are savoury but since they're basically made of pancake batter I've heard of people eating them in a sweet context

Pudding has got some interesting variant uses - there are savoury puddings especially when the "pudding" element is used to refer to a steamed (suety) pie-like construction

"flan" gets interesting in UK/non-UK usage too

re custard:

today this means
(i) a sweet yellow gloop poured over desserts, can be made from scratch using eggs, tho more often what you encountered started in a powdered form
(ii) when called "a custard" it is a little tart (open pie) with a firmed-up custard topping -- generally a dessert tho savoury custards do exist (viz a quiche is a savoury custard, not that anyone much calls it this any more)

(iii) (archaic) "custard" in fact derives from the word "crustard" = any dish (sweet or savoury) baked with a pie-crust (open or closed) -- but no one has used this term for c.400 years

often "egg custard" is used to describe that number ii tart even tho as a pair of words "egg custard" doesn't clear up anything

Just had a dream dulce de leche ice cream (basically South American version of salted caramel), from a stall inside our local rail station lol. I will never give ice cream less than than 10 (unless it makes me sick)

"flan" gets interesting in UK/non-UK usage too

― da elephant in daruma (Noodle Vague)

i never thought about this, so what does "flan in the face" mean in its original context?

don't think i've ever heard "flan in the face" used in UK English, it's always "pie in the face" here

generally custard pie just to tie that back in

you need to listen to more radiohead closing tracks then lol

under no circumstances do i need to listen to more Radiohead closing tracks and i say this as somebody who has in the past listened to Radiohead closing tracks

now I have flan all over my face

also music chat on this thread is going to get Darragh steamed

like a pudding

having learned nothing from the mayo thread, i made a banana cake last week but found i had no flour. so i blitzed and sifted a commensurate quantity of breadcrumbs and used that instead. cake was spiky. 4/10

jesus christ

just spent about six or seven crunchie bars on a fucking tony's. you'd better all be right

it's probably equivalent to toblerone in quality. maybe slightly better. there's quite a lot of it. this does not excuse the price. 6.5/10

okay it's actually pretty good but fuckin hell

Lol

Which one did you get

Honey and nougat one hence Toblerone lol

Oh mate, that’s not even the best one! The salted caramel one (orange wrapper) is the king! I would never buy the fancy Toblerone one at full price.

ah fuck that was my other potential choice

just like Haagen-Dazs, horrendously overpriced and salted caramel is the best one

I thought the salted caramel Haagen-Daazs was the one taking up landfill space with all those ET games.

the praline one can play too

dunno what an ET game is, don't need to hopefully?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atari_video_game_burial

oh that's quite interesting fine

just want to chime in and say doce de leite IS NOT caramel goddamnit

or salted caramel, whateverrrrrr

My kid can finish off an entire tray of Ferrero Rocher in one sitting.

'spaghetti carbonara' ice cream, 9/10

("Vanilla and nut ice cream on cream with eggnog, chocolate sauce and nut brittle")

https://incontro-gelato.de/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/spaghetticarbonara.png

Kool-Aid Lime Gel

I would never eat this if I weren't preparing for a medical procedure. 1/5.

My go to chunky chocolate is currently M&S Swiss. Their Belgian ones are fine but I don't like that thinner cut they're all sold in.

Went to the NoMad hotel's side bar in Theatreland on Sunday evening (literally called Side Hustle) where they're doing reasonable Takes on Mexican snacks (the croquettes in spicy parmesan I could've eaten 20 of). Had to had to get the churros which where long, firm and well done although I don't really like them to be too glinting in sugar generally. Their chocolate sauce was merely adequate but the tart berry sauce really took it up a notch. Solid 7/10.

Three McVities choc chip cookies. Better than the Maryland ones which always struck me as being dry in texture with a stingey helping of chips.

am eating a cheesecake in an unmarked italian cafe I just stumbled into, it is a clear 9.5/10

cannot believe how good and fresh this is

https://i.ibb.co/XtSTWVw/IMG-20230907-133306.jpg

goodnight princely sweet, u were ideal

Three McVities choc chip cookies. Better than the Maryland ones which always struck me as being dry in texture with a stingey helping of chips.

update: Polish, not Italian! Was thrown by the focaccia. so there you have it folks: Polish cheesecake is that bitch

you should state baked cheesecake instead of saying cheesecake if you mean baked cheesecake

TIL there is such a thing as unbaked cheesecake

what i had today was most certainly baked

xp I honestly didn't know there was a baked variety. Doesn't the cream cheese melt?

No, the cream cheese (and other ingreds, eggs, sour cream, etc) bake into a soft fluffy filling that is extremely delicious. Notoriously, the filling is liable to crack (like a pumpkin pie filling) unless baked in a water bath.

I think I'm just revealing my ignorance about cheesecake and baking in general.

no stay innocent

An entire packet of (fourteen) Oreos.

Do these have a laxative effect or is it just the heatwave?

vegan soft-serve mango + vanilla swirl ice cream with toasted coconut in a cone, eaten while walking with a friend on a blessedly not-blazing-hot day: 10/10

shortcrust pastry apple pie

7/10 i can do better and we must push ourselves