What are koalas and can we eat them?

Actually some of you might know that there are in fact 2 kinds of koalas. The first are the nice ones you see in the zoo. The second are the nasty ones who supposedly torment tourists. We call this kind "Drop Bears". Or: "Doroppu Beru". This kind of Koala likes to drop out of trees and maul non-Australians. It's our primary national defence system.

Good point though, Aussie girl. Can we eat Bald Eagles? Seems like you'd get a decent bit of breast meat out of one of those chaps.

File under "Phrases that sound dirty which really aren't".

VB was piss-water though

Australians all love the Crocodile Hunter.

"The Taliban really hate it when you tug on their beards! Cricky!"

No, of course not, eating bald eagles would be silly. (But *koalas*...mmmmm.)

KOALA CASSEROLE YOU WILL NEED A nice furry koala, spices and herbs potatoes, rice or pasta any of choice, carrots, onions, tomatoes and lemon. WHAT TO DO Find a furry koala. You will need to climb the tallest gum tree and feed your koala sleeping pills to get him down, If not already furless from the sleeping pills skin your koala, Make sure your koala is furless, Then cut him or her up into tiny pieces and arrange in frying pan. Fry gently with herbs, spices, onion and taste. Add tomato and other ingredients, mix until brown and when cooked serve up with cooked rice or other options. This should be a satisfying dish to suit even the fussiest eaters.

KANGAROO PIE YOU WILL NEED A small kangaroo, puff pastry, onion, garlic, spices and other ingredients if wanted. WHAT TO DO Firstly catch your kangaroo, remove skin of kangaroo, slice into thin moderate pieces and arrange in a ready prepared pie dish lined with pastry, After kangaroo is in pastry sprinkle with flavoring (herbs) and cover with sheet of pastry. Cook in a moderately hot oven and cook until brown. Take out of oven and serve with garnish of garlic butter Another satisfying but unusual dinner to suit all of you.

WOMBAT ROAST YOU WILL NEED A wombat potatoes to roast, carrots, onion, gravy, beans, A large roasting pan, cooking oil. WHAT TO DO First dig up a wombat if possible. Remove limbs and eyes, Put in roasting pan and add cut potatoes and other vegetables. Roast in a moderate hot oven for two hours. Take out and pour made gravy on top. A succulent roast to tickle your fancy and make your mouth water.

DINGO STAKE You will need to catch and kill a dingo. Add a knife to its back and kill, Remove bones and insides, Cook in a moderate grill when sliced and make sure it isn't burned or tough, Take out and serve with choice of roasted, steamed, mashed, baked or fried potatoes, You may also like to add a frilled neck lizard garnish on the top made from its blood For thoughts of you who hate the sight of blood I advise you not to eat it. .

POSSUM PUNCH YOU WILL NEED a possum, either big or small, juice, water, choice of lemonade. STEPS Climb a tree at day time as your possum will be asleep. When caught possum put in blender with water, juice, lemonade and ice. Turn on blender and mix until smooth. Add ice cream if desired

http://www.google.com/search?q=cache:21geXQHYN24C:www.cnib.ca/score/sc ore2000/project_food/recipes.htm+koala+recipes&hl=en

the annoying and piss me off in the night kinda sounds that they make are extremely similar, if not the same to that of a horny pig. in fact, we have aptly named them "Tree Pigs"

last night, i was trying to get some sleep and i heard this gay pig up in the tree and it musta been trying to jack off or something, coz it was all retarded and kept going (friggin loud as) haaaaa snort haaaa snort haaaa and i mean Fucking Loud as shit. A brick sorted him out quick enough. He'll be back though he always is and if you think thar cute and cuddly you wait till you are sleepin near one of those awful shit mongers.

here

The Aborigines did not hunt at night, but extracted nocturnal animals such as possum and koala bear – both prized foods – from their daytime resting places in various ingenious ways. The Aborigines would first detect the presence of the animal by its smell, claw marks or droppings, and confirm its presence by inserting a stick or frond tipped with honey into the hollow tree or log serving as a lair. If hairs stuck to the honey, they knew the animal was there. They extracted it either by climbing a tree to drag out the animal or by smoking it out of its resting place.

2 x Koala Fillets
2 Teaspoons Cardamon
1 Tablespoon ground Coriander
1 Teaspoon Green Peppercorns
3 Cloves Crushed Garlic
1/3 Cup Raspberry Vinegar
½ Teaspoon Mustard Seed Oil

Trim the Fillets of skin or silver sinew, grind the other ingredients (less the Mustard Seed Oil) together until paste, spread the paste over the fillets and allow to stand covered at room temperature for approximately 2 hours. Heat oven top pan with oven proof handles or no handles until very hot and cook the fillets for 1 ½ minutes each side only, remove from oven top and place pan in pre heated 220 degree oven for no more than 5 minutes, then allow to stand on warm plate for 5 minutes prior to serving.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5233939/

disclaimer: it's entirely possible that i could have this story altogether wrong. also, we don't have them in WA but i have a bit of a dislike of them anyway because one scratched me at taronga zoo once. although looking back i suppose you could hardly blame the poor creature not only being locked up in a zoo but also being passed around and poked by loads of obnoxious children

(Actually, I need to start an Australian food thread sometime, there are questions I've been meaning to ask about ingredients I've been reading about. One of them was mountain pepper, I think ... I'll assemble my notes sometime and start the thread.)

-- Adamdrome Crankypants (ada...), November 8th, 2004.

!

is that acually true?

Small...cheese-filled...sounds like tacos to me! Or perhaps enchiladas, if those are more to your taste.
;^}

Gavin Rossdale is an expert on Australian Wild life? Who'd've thunkit!

no!

Is he in Cairns, then? I was wondering where he'd got to.

The beauty of eating marsuipials is of course in the presentation: the mother can be cooked along with the baby in the pouch, marinaded of course in the mother's milk.

Posted by an Australian in Switzerland who has been working in Austria where he heard of Americans asking where the roos are. (Kangaroos do not live in Austria, for the education of the readership).

Funny thing number two: I met Americans in London who didn´t know Croatia existed, wondered whether it was a city or a country (and spelt in Croasia), thought the Gulf War took place in Bosnia, didn´t know how to spell Slovenia or Slovakia (and probably wouldn´t have known if they were countries except that you could tell by the content of my discourse).

Though not theologically correct, I must quote the age old saying: War is God´s way of teaching Americans geography. ...but unfortunately they failed to learn. C´mon Yanks. Get a bit less USA centred!!! Your country, while having some cool stuff, is a bit stupid. compared to Europe. Australia is a bit stupid too. ...so do your best to see the world, then go back home smarter.

Both America and Australia are great places. We just need to get around the redneck gun slinging and the bogans doing laps in comodores. And travel is one proven way to do that.

I think that should sell it.

ignore this man please, we really need to raise the number of laps being done in commodores by bogans. especially in their natural habitat.

Col OTFM x10000000! its also for do gooder government pooftahs out to snare a demographic (the unhappy)

http://run.petsorfood.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=P&Product_Code=K&Category_Code=E

Ready to Eat™

THE TIME FOR KOALA TACOS HAS COME

Sweet and Sour Koala Loaf
Yield: 4 servings

2 LB ground Koala
1 cup cracker meal
1/2 cup water
2 eggs beaten
1 onion chopped
salt and pepper as desired
11 oz can tomato sauce
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup sugar

Combine every thing except half of the tomato sauce, lemon juice and sugar. Shape meat mixture into loaf (we like to reform the meat into the shape of a living koala) and place in a baking dish. Combine the remaining tomato sauce, lemon juice and sugar and pour over meat loaf. Bake 350 degrees covered about 40 minutes, basting frequently. Then uncover and bake about 15 minutes more or until koala loaf is done.

New Born Golden Retriever Bourguignon
Yield: 4 servings

5 medium onions sliced
2 ts shortening
1 Ts salt
1/2 Ts crushed thyme
1 1/2 tb flour
1 1/2 c red burgundy
1/2 lb fresh mushrooms
1 new born golden retriever (ready to eat)
1/2 Ts crushed marjoram
1/8 Ts pepper
3/4 c beef stock

Cook and stir onions and mushrooms in hot shortening until onions are tender, drain on paper towels.

Brown meat in same skillet, add more shortening as necessary. Remove from heat. Sprinkle seasonings over the retriever. Mix flour and retriever stock, pour into skillet. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil 1 minute. Stir in burgundy. Cover, simmer until retriever is tender, 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

The liquid should always just cover the meat. (If necessary, add a little more bouillon and burgundy - 1 part bouillon to 2 parts burgundy.) Gently stir in onions and mushrooms, cook uncovered 15 minutes, or until heated through.

Roasted Eagle anyone?

Sweet and Sour Koala Loaf
Yield: projectile vomiting

Is this the closest we have to an Australian food thread?

Anyway I'd like to know how Mexican food is in Australia. Is it pretty widely available? Is it bar food, or fancier fare? Are components, even if just Old El Paso, available at generalist supermarkets? In what ways, if any, has it been Australized ?

Has Australia developed an independent cuisine, yet? Apart from witchetty grubs, I mean.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b3/ShrimpOnTheBarbieScreenshot.jpg

oh, the same thing as deep-suburban American cuisine, then?

I'd answer Euler but I'm too busy FP'ing Tom and Aimless for racism

After that can you reply?

its taking him longer because hes the descendant of convicts

my spouse, who is mexican-american, says: “it’s not mexican food. they can’t get the ingredients but they do the best with what they can get. if you’re a junkie you get by. it’s not authentic. don’t ask a mexican.”

at most grocery stores you can get old el paso products, cholula, sometimes a few la costena products. the flour and fresh corn (white corn only) tortillas are stale and bad. hard taco shells are always available but they’re not great either.
most delis will carry a few more products but they’re always expensive.

we used to go to a local restaurant where the australian owner was a genuine enthusiast and made good food using good ingredients but he had to charge too much to cover his costs and his business didn’t make it. he was very opinionated about mexican food and once when f. mildly disagreed with one of his claims he called f. a grrringo (he rolled his r with a flourish) which was an amazing and memorable moment.

we once took my father-in-law to a small town mexican restaurant when he was over here visiting from california and he wept with laughter every time he thought about it for the rest of his life.

<3

The enormous Mexican community in Australia not well served it seems.

Thanks estela!

I’m interested in the Mexican food diaspora & Australia seems like an interesting case study, being rather cosmopolitan yet quite far from North America. I saw something online suggesting that Indian spices sometimes get used in Mexican cooking in Australia: I gather like garam masala rather than cumin + chili powder.

Can you even get good Mexican food in the UK? In London probably but elsewhere?

I’m not sure but I’m interested in the ways it’s been localized. Like here in France “Tex-mex” means fried mozzarella strips and chicken wings, that you get at a takeout pizza place. And French “tacos”. I’m interested in tracing out more of these local developments. I just got back from a week in Munich where burritos are now a big thing, but the main thing seems to be cocktails having little to do with Mexico.

I’m sure it would be hilariously underwhelming to the true aficionado but the Guzman y Gomez places are quite decent for chain Mexican. I think it’s Australian in origin. Zambrero likewise, but a little more “chain” in feel. Maybe 1/10 of Australians would know what a mole or an ancho is these days. But I’ve never had tamales here for example.

I’ve seen Guzman y Gomez in Japan but never tried it. Of course I have had taco bowls there, at Matsuya for instance.

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/6e/aa/56/koala-restaurant-inside.jpg

There’s a couple of decent tortillas makes in Melbourne, my wife, who lived in Chicago for 10 years rates La Tortillaria from derrimut but available pretty widely.

Melbourne has a pan Hispanic grocer on Johnston st that has things like corn masa, hominy, dried ancho and poblano peppers as well as Spanish and South American supplies. It’s not huge but it’s on the way home for me. Thee may be other.

I’ve seen fresh poblanos in the farmers market on occasion. There’s a few growers that do diverse chillies and capsicum in including poblanos, shishito, Parsons etc. so there’s probably most chillies out there if you look.

Mexican restaurants are pretty dire by and large burritos, chips, tacos and quesadillas. I’ve never seen a sope, pozole, or mole poblano or anything particularly regional or interesting down here. I had a mushroom quesadilla in a Fonda Mexican yesterday and feel sad about it.

Of course there are koala tacos which are delicious.

Actually the Fonda chain’s menu is a good insight into how it’s been localised

http://www.fondamexican.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Fonda_VIC_Web_Menu_April_2019.pdf

‘Mexican Bim-Bap’
Quinoa in the burritos
Really quite nasty chipotle aioli on everything

Zambero are more straight up burritos but pushing ‘healthy high protein black burritos’

Aussies struggle with a cuisine of tomatillos, tacos, burritos, nachos, they don’t know what to do with em. How do you stick an o on the end of stuff that already has an o on the end

Ha

I can get tomatillos in the farmers market on occasion. Life would be hard without corn and tomatillo soup.

And how could we forget taco bill

https://tacobill.com.au/

I have never eaten in a taco bill but the free sombreros they hand out are all you need to know.

Thanks Ed!

I’m sorta maybe starting to think of pitching a book on this, even though it’s nowhere near my usual subjects. I’d like the advance to pay for travel but that may be a pipe dream in contemporary publishing.

I should say, not just on Australia, but I like Australia as one case study.

I’ve never seen a sope, pozole, or mole poblano or anything particularly regional or interesting down here.

This is totally the uk too btw, allowing for a place or two in London I don’t know about. I’m happy to get vaguely authentic tacos and ecstatic to find a food truck that sells nopales

A lot of the newer Mexican here feels like it came via London.

Even if Australians never make it to Mexico one might hope they might have once eaten a taco in San Francisco or Chicago.

I just looked at that taco bill menu and wished I hadn’t.

Who fancies a liquorice allsort margarita with strawberry, ouzo and grenadine?

That menu is 👍🏼

Sopes and moles are common in Mexican restaurants run by Mexicans ime.

As fast-food chains go, Mad Mex and Guzman y Gomez are better than Chipotle, but anyone expecting “Mexican” food from a fast food chain is making a category error to begin with.

I don’t think I’ve run into a single Mexican restaurant run by Mexicans in Melbourne or Sydney although I can’t believe there aren’t a few out there.

https://www.broadsheet.com.au/melbourne/guides/best-mexican-restaurants-melbourne

NB - The broadsheet doesn’t really do restaurant criticism it’s more of a fairly neutral to positive directory of what is out there.

I thought I’d seen mole on the menu here when we were in Covent Garden a couple of weeks ago but nope: https://www.cafe-pacifico.com/

(I whined a couple of time that going all the way to London to eat Mexican was pathetic but I was outvoted)

NB Sydneysiders occasionally refer to Victorians as “Mexicans” because they are south of the (state) border

Can confirm, my dad always did.

Re Australian cuisine, I would have to say that inner city dining in Melbourne pretty much destroys that of most other similarly sized cities I have visited, in terms of breadth and quality.

Yeah Mexican aside, there probably isnt a cuisine in the world you couldnt find on sale in some form here.

LIterally at the end of my street, like 10 steps away, is a globally award-winning Napoletan pizza place, an italian trattoria, 3 Thai restaurants, 2 Lebanese/halal joints, 2 izakayas, 3 gelato shops (what is it with Carlton and bloody gelato shops, are they fronts), Nepalese, 3 or 4 decent Indian curry joints, and a shitty chicken and chips shop.

...and Ive nowt been to any of them but the chicken shop.

onya Trayce

I think I’ve been to every place in my neighbourhood apart from the chicken shop.

Haha. Actually I tell a lie I have also eaten at Kake de Hatti which is bloody good Indian.

In which case you also have a decent French place you haven’t eaten in as well.

You mean French Milkbar? Yes I walk past that place a lot and it intrigues me.

Have been there a couple of times. A cafe during the day and reasonably priced french food at night. A really nice petit sale.

Funny Ive never bumped into you, I live round the corner pretty much!

I don’t think I’ve run into a single Mexican restaurant run by Mexicans in Melbourne or Sydney although I can’t believe there aren’t a few out there.

e.g., etc, &al.