WHEN WILL BETTMAN DIE: THE NHL 2025-2026 SEASON THRED (INC PANTHERS HANGOVER 2 AND SAD ATTEMPTS TO DETHRONE THEM HOCKEY IS THE BEST)

Cory Perry

it's corey, and he's your guy now

did we ever learn why chicago straight-up waived him two years ago? such an asshole that he was infecting the kids with his assholeness?

anyway wow are teams splashing out for defensemen (who aren't really worth it)

no idea how vegas can afford mitch marner at $12m/yr but i guess alex pietrangelo doing the whole hossa/pronger basically-dead-but-on-long-term-injury-status helps

florida re-signing marchant to a six-year deal is absurd -- he's 37 -- but it's front-loaded, apparently still legal, and reasonable if you've won two Cups in a row and are looking for a third before the salary cap destroys you

see also florida bringing everyone else back

He fucked bedard’s mom iirc

i don't think i buy that, but ok

can't believe Florida keeps getting away with it.

also can't believe Boeser signed with Vancouver, really thought he was gone

Pretty happy with what the isles have done so far. Team needs to stay healthy this season though.

I know the cap is going up by a lot but the Canes and Habs signing mid-tier Dmen K'Andre Miller and Noah Dobson to expensive 8 year deals feels risky, even if they are both young.

I have a feeling there will be a lot of trades in the summer to counter the weak FA market, Ehlers aside.

kings spent an awful lot of money on brian dumoulin and cody ceci, neither of whom should be anything but a third pairing

ken holland's first order of business: let's make this team older

Speaking of old, wings signed James Van Riemsdyk for some reason

isles did good not hiring Ken Holland

so it'll be Utah Mammoth. singular. weird. could be worse i guess.

Utah Yeti would have been more fun but there are trademark issues with the brand

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6525427/2025/07/31/hockey-hall-of-fame-tiers-nhl-inductees/

Seeing that Tavares has 494 goals made me spit out my drink

happy 38th to sidney crosby

rip ken dryden : /

panthers down both barkov and tkachuk does not bode well for a three peat

<3 MAF <3

hockey time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xzl2qq3Vi8

cautiously optimistic about the pens' quasi rebuild!

not wholly/necessarily about hockey, but sports leagues *need* fans who record and advance and care about the lore

https://i.imgur.com/JIDTKzA.jpeg

Anthony Mantha was so madly overhyped when the Wings drafted him

gross stuff by Vegas https://www.espn.com/nhl/story/_/id/46616724/golden-knights-bring-carter-hart-goalie-acquittal

so jack eichel is 5-10-15 in six games. that's a 205-point pace

the “nordiques” and “whalers” will play each other this week in what will probably be a future trivia question game

also the dream is still alive for the rangers to go 0-41 at home

still alive after a loss to the sharks(!)

sadly they still got an OT loser point

bless celebrini, his WAR equivalent must have gone though the roof yesterday

penguins currently atop the league at 8-2-2, 18 points

malkin (39yo) tied for third with 17 points

crosby (38yo) has eight goals, one short of the lead

never have i seen something so fated to regress

(it's still nice tho)

i'm glad you're enjoying it - i've been a little annoyed with the Quebec media (who are desperate for Crosby to join the habs asap), who have been characterizing this as the "worst possible start" for the Penguins - given that they really don't have a playoff dream, so it's in their interest to tank for McKenna. i keep thinking: "but it must be really fun to have this last gasp surprise!" sports fandom is about the adventure, not just the destination.

Schaefer has sure made this isles season more fun so far.

Elvis Merzlikins gave up two goals in the last minute or so of the game tonight and not only smashed his stick against the top of the net twice, but was seen crying on the bench afterwards. Kind of love that an early season isles-jackets game can be taken so intensely.

tbf that guy is a weirdo

the "worst possible start" for the Penguins - given that they really don't have a playoff dream

in the long term, this is probably correct? but sid/geno/letang not only saved hockey in pittsburgh, but won three cups in the process and have established a culture (fostered by Mario) that is incredible.

sid still delivers some season tickets in person each year. malkin's parents are folk heroes in pittsburgh. they are absolutely beloved, and i think that means a lot even if the team fails to make the playoffs again

So Jordan Binnington tried to steal the puck from Ovechkin's 900th goal, what a loser

Should have had a decoy puck in his pocket so he could switch them out

erik karlsson absolutely burying former coach mike sullivan, whose rangers remain winless at home (yet kickass on the road)

https://i.imgur.com/tmOkIDK.jpeg

also 15 of the 16 east teams are 'over .500' ban the loser point

being shut out at home 5 out of 7 times, especially after they have these centennial ceremonies with former players before the games is just so wild.

Still surprised they shipped Kreider and Trouba off to Anaheim, who are actually thriving right now.

TIL auston matthews is only 28

two incredible goals from mcdavid last night

oilers were still trailing after both of them, but i don't understand how he won't even smile after doing shit like that

needs to win the Stanley cup before he will smile

Grim men’s evening in edmonton

rip larry brooks

went to see the habs-dallas game live at the bell centre

....that sucked

Couldn’t have picked a worse game to see, ouch.

In a little disbelief that the isles not only came back against Vegas last night but also won it on a short handed (!) OT goal

Celebrini and Bedard both with hat tricks last night, the future looks bright

Rantanen is dirty now? Guy is asking for a broken neck next time he faces the Flames or Isles.

yikes stan bowman just got absolutely fleeced

Considering how goaltending has been optimized it’s wild how there are so few Dudes there are these days. I may just have residual stephane fiset trauma

hockey fans with knowledge of cult disco singles must be a rarity but every time I watch a game with Ville Husso in net, I end up singing his name to the tune of “Billy Who?” By Billy Frazier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnz1HrOBlSA

Andy K if you are reading help me out

Goodbye Quinn Hughes, jfc

What an accursed franchise

When will Aquilini die

jim rutherford does not seem to be doing a great job in vancouver

surprised he didn't send Quinn to Pittsburgh

I think Rutherford's individual moves have been defensible, and the return from Minnesota is really not bad. He's been hamstrung by Benning's garbage cap management and ownership that always prioritized revenue over rebuilding. So what it's all added up to is catastrophic. It's nice to see Bo Horvat killing it this season, Canucks clearly should have extended him instead of JT Miller.

I think the Canucks have traded at least four captains away in the last thirty years (Hughes, Horvat, Luongo, Linden). Not a sign of a functional organization!

it's been almost five years and i've still never learned why rutherford abruptly quit the penguins GM job

mainly remember him just willy-nilly making trades seemingly for the hell of it, but those teams were in a different place than the canucks are now

xp canadiens and rangers are pretty close

penguins were up 5-1 with eight minutes left in the third . . . and lost in overtime. at home. to san jose

fourth time in team history they've lost a game in which they a four-goal lead at any point. three of them are in the last three years

michel therrien otm

https://media.tenor.com/ItAzl01yZk8AAAAM/soff-soft.gif

five days after being traded for one another, stuart skinner and tristan jarry are playing against each other in pittsburgh. they're both wearing their former team's masks

also draisaitl got his 1000th point

I didn't realize it took so long for teams to get personalized goalie masks

oil 6, pens 4

jarry: .867 SV%
skinner: .773 SV% (three GA on the power play tbf)

not pretty

Jarry is now on the IL before the oilers even made it back to Edmonton. Will they make another goalie trade?

IR, wrong sport

sidney crosby is now the penguins' all-time leading scorer with 1724 points

Multi-point games with 1 team:
Howe 511
Crosby 505
Lemieux 497

Points with 1 franchise:
Howe 1809
Yzerman 1755
Sid 1724

The top 2 all-time scorers against the Flyers:
Crosby, 92 GP, 59-78-137 (1.49/game)
Lemieux, 71 GP, 51-73-124 (1.75/game)

still about to lose their ninth in a row or whatever

Miracle on Ice II: Pens Win a Shootout

penguins are up 7-2 after two; we'll see how it goes

happy anniversary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW4Nir6L9kg

Sabres have won 10 in a row!

Omg Schaefer looking like McDavid tonight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6il5XCfPuo

https://i.postimg.cc/TP4DRN90/bafkreie2px62jp4apjuxqxgmtxwifvgrw2hwbimydkpfvmvjod5hjx5rea.jpg

:D

This is siiiick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i-aQS03mj0

Yes, but also ridiculous attempt at defense IMHO

Spose you woulda done better eh

anyone been to a PWHL game yet? I'd like to go see the Goldeneyes sometime this season

gone to see montreal a couple times (including one game at the Bell Centre) - just thrilling, great atmosphere.

congrats to 70yo rick bowness, who has never won a goddamn thing, being hired to coach his eighth club: the columbus blue jackets

seriously, his record in 14 seasons: 310 wins, 408 losses, 48 ties, 37 OT losses

he *did* take dallas to the finals six years ago, but he's never even won a division

god the NHL is sclerotic

Spose you woulda done better eh

Lol, we've never encountered each other in puck presence

Sry, that was douchey

Nah man I was mostly on defense when I played, maybe you skated past me

I like moments of beauty on the ice, and I know basically no one else here digs the college game, but fuck it, that was pretty and it's hard to do at any level

you are totally right. i think my reaction was expecting the D to be as on the ball as the playmaker, but also slo-mo is deceiving in how fast the play was

streaks of multi-point games

6 by penguins, 5 by kings, 3 by oilers, 5 by gretzky, 5 by lemieux

https://i.postimg.cc/ZKqrZMxq/bafkreihwmnsjr4z2foorfr25jttejbvufkznawjt47eritdum7dk2qvk3a.jpg

kucherov's streak ended tonight, although he did score the winner in a shootout

good lord the rangers

Rare to see a last minute empty net goal that makes it 8-4

two years after winning the president's trophy, the rangers are now 'retooling'

not so sure chris drury is the best choice to lead that effort, but i don't like the rangers so whatever

also lol mike sullivan

Jets are having their own president’s trophy curse this year too.

they at least have the excuse of being in an insanely difficult division

but yeah

also we really need to go back to conference 1-8

enjoying this utter rangers collapse

i don't exactly savor it, but it is *interesting* that mike sullivan is coaching it

not sure why chris drury should be trusted to fix the mess he himself made, but i guess that's why i'm not a dolan

It's fine, he sent a letter, see.

Watching the Panthers Bruins game right now and their uniforms are both hideous. Is this what they’ve both been wearing all year? Jeez

https://www.tsn.ca/ncaa/article/psus-mckenna-facing-felony-assault-charge/

and on the year the Canucks are finally in line for the No 1 pick....

okay what would it realistically take to play hockey on the hudson/east river

because we will never get closer than this

do something, jimmy mod!

obviously i don't mean a pro game

i mean me, on the east river, going top shelf on jmod, who is wearing an MTA mask

Guys Trump just said China is going to shut down hockey in Canada and eliminate the Stanley Cup. What a bummer. Oh well let’s make this past season the best it can be eh?

We all know that the Stanley Cup has already been eliminated from Canada for the past 33 years.

C'mon Canada please blow this

https://www.espn.com/nhl/story/_/id/48044958/brady-tkachuk-miffed-white-house-ai-doctored-video

Gotta say I am struggling to find any sympathy for this asshole who went to pay fealty to an even bigger asshole

Like the only way I could somehow care less is if it somehow was Marchand instead

never thought the leopards would doctor my face

nice

tbf it must be rough being clearly the uglier brother

marchand at least used his rat powers for good at least once, calling out deangelo for being "a fucking racist"

Unreal how great Schaefer is already.

rip the florida panthers

has any team ever made three straight finals (which, tbh, suitable grudging respect) and then failed to make the playoffs

kinda sad for barkov tho; i like him

also HERE COME THE SABRES

panthers just had too many injuries to overcome really.

Sabres may finally break the playoff curse

Don DeLillo’s Funniest Novel Is A 1980 Hockey Sex Romp He Won’t Acknowledge

fuck the rangers tho

penguins now 1-9 in shootouts lol

1-10 ffs

congrats to radko gudas for injuring both the canadian and american captains over the course of three weeks

fortunately for gabriel landeskog, the avs and ducks cannot meet until the western conference finals -- and mikael grandlund is on gudas' own team. but leon draisaitl better watch out when edmonton hosts anaheim in two weeks

I still need Rantanen to face a reckoning too for his dirty play this year. Can’t hide on IR forever.

https://i.postimg.cc/XNDgFSSJ/a-dlfja-dflje.jpg

seems unsustainable

and yet they blew multiple games like these in december

https://i.postimg.cc/63SgMM1X/a-dlfja-dflje-2.jpg

well they won 7-2

but it remains unpleasant to me?

which is absolutely my own problem : /

intersting article on the correlation between goalie salaries and performance

spoiler: there isn't one

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7124168/2026/03/24/nhl-goaltending-crisis-contracts-extensions-defense

https://archive.ph/C5Inj

Golden Knights fire Bruce Cassidy, hire John Tortorella

this is some lou lamoriello shit

haha what

Insane decision.

In their short history, all Vegas head coaches have had a points percentage of 60% or more

take that, ilya sorokin

That was a rough one

i'm certain he'll get his revenge if they meet again in the first round

fuck you forever, david volek

<3

buffalo sabres ^_^

detroit red wings ;_;