Things you hate that are not socially acceptable to hate

For me, it’s

My birthday
Christmas
The pressure to keep in touch with people
Exercise

Drivers stopping to let me cross the road after I already stopped or adjusted for their passing.

I feel like if I was allowed to hate birthdays a lot of resentment about other things would vanish. But last year I had to get a cake and everything because it would be “weird” to have Easter at our house and not acknowledge my birthday.

I honestly hate all holidays.

Except halloween

I don't know how old you are treesh, but I've found that post-40 it got a lot easier to ignore or minimize birthdays. I haven't been around my extended family on my birthday for a long time though

um what

It's so damn normal not to care about or to perform your indifference to your birthday, whereas I LOVE my birthday and love celebrating with friends.

I've found that after 40 I've said fuck it and embrace my birthday cuz it's awesome.

I am 36. My children and my spouse love birthdays and I am happy about celebrating other people on their birthdays. I just have an irrational hatred of my own, in part because I was born on Hitler’s 100th birthday. It feels cursed.

My best friend's birthday is also 4/20. You know what you can do? Spark up.

I hate generative A.I., which is socially acceptable in some places but not my corporate workplace. Senior leadership are fond of repeating the nonsensical mantra, "A.I. isn't going to take away people's jobs, but it is going away the jobs of people who don't know how to use A.I." I want to scream in their faces.

It has never been well received when I say I want to do nothing and receive nothing on my bday. I think it is seen as petulant.

Oh i really hate ai too. Good one.

I actually celebrated my birthday this year, for the first time in decades, because it happens to fall on Charlie Kirk Remembrance Day and I wanted to reclaim it

Marijuana makes me have panic attacks lol xp

Negronis?

Sober for 2 years after many years of daily drinking :-/

I’d love a negroni but shouldn’t

I like birthdays and most annual occasions but people think I'm crazy for suggesting the British should move their fireworks night to any part of the year that isn't cold and soggy, like pretty much every other country in the world

all good xpost

The Princess Bride (I don't even actively or publicly hate it, it only comes up when people keep pressing me about what i think about it when they notice I'm not joining in their quotefest)

the 4th of July. even when this country was less of a cesspool, it's a holiday full of obnoxious drunk people blowing things up and scaring dogs

theatre people (yes, yes, I know that makes me the worst kind of hypocrite)

Harry Potter fans (pre-JK Rowling heel turn)

most thinkpieces

95% of local opening bands

Waffles and pancakes
fireworks

Mashed potatoes. Least favorite food.

i'm into this thread. these days i try to minimize the things i hate, and i've definitely made progress. BUT there are some things that are just plain nopes for me and always will be. christmas is one of them. thankfully it doesn't upset me like it used to. i celebrate the solstice with a fire to welcome the coming light. and then spend xmas out of town with my partner if i can.

let's see, one thing i hate doing that i do feel a need to do, to a degree, is experience the mostly horrible health care system and racket in the u.s. my partner saw a mole on my back recently and insisted i get it checked out. yeah i'm just not going to do that. like, as a separate dr office visit. i might bring it up in a regular physical. overall i'm not spending money on health care unless i'm already sick. i know there are preventative things you should do. some of them seem more important, to me, than others. that's my decision. i know that can make people big mad (i've seen it on this board). but, like, we're all going to die. and how much a person is willing to spend in doctor's offices vs a health risk is a personal decision. so nyah. i'll do whatever the fuck i want when it comes to my own health, unless it puts others at risk.

i hate the feeling that, even though when you go to a gym you are ostensibly there to work out, you enter a social arena and are somewhat obligated to interact with and accept everyone and welcome everyone looking at you and etc. most people get the message that i just want to be left alone at the gym, but some people are paying attention to everyone and everything but their own workout, and they are usually the ones who gawk or talk etc. it's very much not acceptible to get irritated at gym talkers because "live and let live" is the overriding law at the gym, but i can't help but feel that the law should really be "focus on your own workout, your own body, and shut the fuck up" lol. also "gym walking" should be against the law. people who walk around the perimeter of the gym for what seems like hours to get their steps in. go outside you sod! there's probably something terrible that keeps them from going outside, i guess. but damn their constant lapping gets on my nerves.

birthdays, i have mixed feelings about. generally just want them to be over but i have discovered pleasure in people wishing me happy birthday. i don't respond to anyone though. it's my birthday so i can do what i want! not going to make it about other people and their feelings. but yeah kiss the ring. haha.

whistling

xp I've had a mole on my chest for years, probably decades at this point. Every time I went in for a physical I asked my doc "you sure this is nothing" and he was always like "it's nothing." And every time I took my shirt off at the pool or beach somebody would say "man, you really need to get that looked at, because I knew somebody who..." So finally my doc said "would it make you feel better to see a specialist?" And he referred me to a dermatologist at Mass General, who said "it's nothing" before I could even get my shirt all the way off. Now I want those well-intentioned friends of mine to reimburse me the co-pay.

Children

If i didn’t have kids I would never go to the doctor.

I especially hate how dentists tell me to get invisaline. Like i refused braces in middle school for a reason, I like my crooked teeth.

do you enjoy chewing

the stuff that dentists insist on as like things you have to do is .. much greater than the things you actually have to do ime. my partner got implants for teeth that were pulled and it's been a lot of time, money and etc that doesn't seem necessary or desirable to me. i had one pulled 7 years ago and it's fine. maybe it depends on which tooth / teeth. but again, i'm going to let him do him and just offer empathy.

brushing is bullshit

I luckily have not needed much dental work but am always fine with fillings when needed. I resent the invisaline comments because it is cosmetic and who are they to say how i should look.

Almost every eating establishment you can find on a British high street, but especially Greggs.

with skin and tooth stuff i just think there's a spectrum, it's personal, it's easy to cross over into nice-to-haves but not-strictly-necessaries. like, have you seen tibetan sherpas? i doubt they're seeing dermatologists. there is a lot of pressure with certain health care areas that seems largely derived from that sweet intersection between people's neuroses and an industry's profit motive.

I had an opthamalogist recommend surgery for a minor ptosis in my left eyelid. Was furious.

I am in a bad mood today which is part of the origin of this thread.

In general with my appearance I am mixed. I am really vain in some ways, but I never appreciate comments from others on how I could improve my looks. I feel like I should be allowed to grow old and ugly, to be ignored. Like I fear that but I also I wish I didn’t and god save anyone who recommends botox to me.

Greggs logo is confusing to me, it looks like an estate agents'

xxp but again, it's personal. some people really need the skin attention. others are blessed with thick skin so to speak. i resent people generalizing about what health practices you're supposed to do. it's my decision bitch.

I had braces for 8 years because my teeth looked like Lisa Simpson's in the computer model and I couldnt chew properly. I would never have qualified to be a Union soldier in the Civil War because you had to have two teeth that met so you could rip open cartridge boxes while holding a gun.

imagine that "bitch" as like a gay man saying "slay bitch". sorry not sorry. wow ok i've reached my daily sass quota.

If i had that i would have gotten braces. My teeth are slightly crooked on the bottom and my bite is perfect. I am fortunate to have had good dental health. My issue was with dentists and other doctors trying to convince me to looksmax.

Xp

If i was a woman I would probably go insane with all the cultural pressure to look thinner, younger, whatever. The little bit that I experience that it feels so invasive.

Almost every eating establishment you can find on a British high street, but especially Greggs.

British fetishisation of bad food is real. 95% of UK car journeys are under three hours' duration* yet our motorway service stations are legion and always filled with people buying overpriced, low quality food and beverages.

*made-up stat.

I would never have qualified to be a Union soldier in the Civil War because you had to have two teeth that met so you could rip open cartridge boxes while holding a gun.

TIL

i hate the incredibly generic and scripted kind of chit chat that strangers tend to engage in in places like airports. how bout them broncos etc. why i got big-ass headphones on at all times when traveling.

relatedly i hate airports. it's getting to the point where if it's not reachable by car i'd rather not go. my body clock is all messed up and i had to spend 8 hours in a closet, but i'm somewhere else for 5 days. great. i don't like the shellshock of traveling by plane. give me space and slow transitions over land please. my aversion to air travel has only appeared within the last 5 years or so.

i hate drinking culture. the faux excitement of it. i say this because i spent the weekend with someone who likes to drink, and we were going out to places for that reason. so boring.

It’s incredibly socially acceptable to hate airports and drinking culture dude

think airport hate is near universal (I love them but I am odd)

I feel like the weird person more and more lately because I still enjoy plane travel (not as much as train travel!) and having mah dranks

i hate airplanes and, this is the one i am most ashamed of, traveling in general...

if it was up to me i would never leave the nyc metro area for any reason.

i am not proud of that at all

Mashed potatoes. Least favorite food.

pure heresy

I have always hated airports and flying... I don't get how people who have to fly frequently for work can do it. Like, athletes who are traveling every few days... even if you are being driven in a limo to a private jet there is still that shellshock that map mentions. I guess you get used to it? Not a life I would enjoy.

I like everything, that's why I'm here

I’m having a hard time coming up with something good for this thread, I think I might just be tired of complaining about stuff everyone else likes. It’s fine that I don’t understand it or even think the appeal is rooted in something pathetic about the need of the gen pop to just go along to get along. But I feel no need to draft an essay about why, idk, most pizza absolutely sucks.

(it does btw)

Robin Williams standup

Standup

"hey ya" by outkast

anything that pushes me outside of my comfort zone

like mashed potatoes

Like I can absorb a bit or two in a clip. But a whole “comedy special” is getting fed a bag of Halloween candy, as an adult, and being told it’s fun and delicious

most pizza absolutely sucks

I will eat it but never crave it, but I feel like you smell like pizza for hours afterward (hands, etc.) so it pretty much grosses me out unless it's like a nice margherita

i love pizza lol

trad American condiments (ketchup, yellow mustard, mayo, or "special sauce" containing the aforementioned ingredients)

I'm coming to the realization that I hate comedy. Like, "make me laugh" is no longer something I seek from any form of entertainment, and most comedy that I do wind up watching (or "humorous" articles I read) is so bad and so revealing of a particular (and apparently near-universal, though not shared by me) set of neuroses and emotional wounds within its creator(s) that it makes me want to slap them until they shut the fuck up.

oh that is a classic ilx position. lex pretend felt this way

good one

I love comedy and I love laughing but I also love that, at least in horror cinema, a lot of newer filmmakers have been disabused of the misguided notion that camp horror isn't good if there's not one-liners and lots of cringe 'self-awareness'.

for example, Joe Begos Christmas Bloody Christmas, which if made ten years ago by a different director, probably woulda been the Snakes on a Plane of horror, but he plays it serious despite the ridiculous premise and it actually makes it much more effective than if he'd built into the bullshit safety valve of "oh it's a killer Santa robot movie it's supposed to be bad!"

Thankfully it's still socially acceptable to hate myself.

treeship, I have never felt closer to you than this thread!

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be celebrated with others if there's an agreeable group of people all amenable to meeting up. I might think differently if I had a large extended family where it's an obligation because over a dozen people will be in attendance and it's some ritual thing where you knock out a lot of social interaction at once. And in that case it's fine to complain about it. My family, not so much.

I don't have any strong birthday opinions other than that if it is your birthday, you should be able to celebrate as much or as little as you care to, within reasonable bounds. Don't be a monster and demand people do things they hate for your birthday, and if people are demanding you celebrate, feel free to not do so.

I get that, for the sense of community and building something shared, you attend events that friends and family contributed to. But it gets grating when their events are very bad!! There are lots of things people on ilx have done that I'd love to attend if I was in town -- concerts, dj nights, art shows, etc. and I usually check around to see if something's going on if I'm visiting somewhere where any of you all live.

Conversely, I get annoyed by friends who have no interest in checking out things that they haven't previously been interested in. This has gotten worse in the last five years post-lockdown, especially among my aging cohort. I understand I'm the one with a schedule that's more open, but I can't always be available to do the same old shit we've done for decades at this point just because that's all they know what to do!

I like xmas, dngaf about my birthday but new year can absolutely fuck right off

mashed potato

🎶 everybody knows treeship hates MASHED POTATO 🎶

what about the twist
do you like it like this?

ABBA

mashed potato schmaltz

I like being at airports more than the mild stress of commuting to an airport and, worse, sitting in the plane waiting to take off (I've "deplaned" more often in the last 10 years than any other point in my life).

When i would drink and was single i liked airport bars

the 4th of July

Not to hit on flight attendants or whatever. Just to listen to squarepusher in my airpods and relish in the anonymity of modern life.

David Brooks also does this

good place to practice your small talk because there's a reasonable chance you'll never see the people at the airport again, and they might be traveling for an interesting reason

“Hey senorita what brings you to this here saloon?”

wonder if anyone's done a study on whether the perception of airports as autonomous zones peaked pre-9/11 or if the idea you're sort of restricted/locked-in now that we have all this security theater has actually amplified the feeling

“Sorry. Sorry. I don’t do this often.”

someone get Larry Craig on the phone

Whoa don’t dox me

I LOVE having a cocktail at the airport.

I also hate mashed potatoes, but also baked potatoes, and any other form of non fried not crispy version. Thin shoestring and crisps only please

Okay gnocchi is okay in my book too I guess

how about stuffed potato skins

this potato hating has me flustered

mcdonalds fries are nothing special

how about stuffed potato skins

Gross. No thank you.

I LOVE having a cocktail at the airport.

I love paying $25 for a single drink!

I can roll with hash browns and tater tots if they are super fried and crispy.

But that's about it.

Fwiw I'm okay with sweet potatoes and yams this is limited to regular and like those small gross red potatoes usually cooked for breakfast

Counterpoint, a religious person never harangues you about the true meaning of New Year's Eve

The Gregorian calendar is the reason for the season

I love paying $25 for a single drink!

― Remo Palmieri: The Adventure Begins (Boring, Maryland)

Is your Tito's fermented by Benedictine monks? I live in Miami and don't more than $18 for a pour.

guys, guys

no, I love and hate those too

San Francisco Sky Bar has astonishingly high drink prices

Copenhagen you can get a giant cold beer for like $6

I hate socializing anywhere crowded/noisy, mainly because I find other people's voices nearly impossible to pick out in the din. I end up doing a lot of polite uncomprehending nodding. That fortunately has not gotten me in any trouble yet

horses. those guys are assholes. sorry, horses.

I fear and respect horses

Horses might be the only animal whose shit, at least the scent thereof, can be romanticized.

Waffles and pancakes

Baffled by this one. What about French toast?

I don't believe in eating dessert for breakfast.

Ah, makes sense now.

(I eat them for supper).

My hate pick is coffee.

Not so much coffee itself but the way people obsess over it, talk about it, oh I need my coffee, can't function without my coffee, etc. Just shut up about it and drink it.

I am happy that this thread is taking off. The genesis really was that I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch and was feeling very bitter and old mannish.

imo you need one of those. not necessarily both, but at least one

feeling very bitter and old mannish.

You know what would cure that? Mashed potatoes in all their glory

Eating breakfast or lunch would hell your mood, my friend

lol help your mood

If you hate exercise though a daily 18 hour fast is probably a good way to not be too unhealthy at least

Does that mean dinner is truly your breakfast, treeship?

Oh I know: Dogs, cats and pets in general. I don't hate animals at all, but I have no desire to own a pet. I have no desire to get to know your pet. I breathed a sigh of relief when I met my partner and she said she didn't care for pets either

now do children

I like dogs when they happily run up to me in the park, but yeah no don't really want one shitting on the floor or tearing up pillows, no thanks

not sure this belongs here, but chuckled at a bumper sticker I saw on a pickup truck yesterday: NOBODY CARES THAT YOU DO AYAHUASCA

i hope treeship's day got better.

Me too!

I am better. Still mad it’s the holiday season.

now do children

I did way up thread!

at the severe risk of being trenchant:

• patriotism
• getting out of bed
• steely dan (i actually don't anymore, but i very much used to)
• republicans
• carrots
• thanksgiving
• phone calls/voicemails
• talking to my mom, who has dementia
• grappa

Exercise

When I think of exercise, it is not the same as simple physical activity. For me, the concept of exercise has the sole purpose of producing a physical effect that one has decided is a rationally desirable goal. Any pleasure obtained is entirely dependent on how well that goal is achieved.

I like physical activity just fine. I hate "doing exercises". The idea of "working on muscles groups by doing a planned series of reps" is abhorrent to me. I walk or do projects or vacuum the floors, or whatever. It seems to produce acceptable results in terms of my health and happiness.

I like physical activity just fine. I hate "doing exercises". The idea of "working on muscles groups by doing a planned series of reps" is abhorrent to me. I walk or do projects or vacuum the floors, or whatever. It seems to produce acceptable results in terms of my health and happiness.

Agree with this 1000%.

I have a slight pet peeve about hearing "Bless you" when I sneeze.

I think it's that I don't feel like my sneezing is worth remarking on, but there's also no way to say that politely.

did somebody itt offer

copenhagen

as the place to get a cheap drink?

Whispering. Or rather the sort of loud whispering people think they have to do in libraries, you don't have to whisper you just need to talk quietly, it's not that difficult to do.

The “IA” threads on ilx

cars

... and car drivers.

and normal people* who are carbrained without realising it

*i.e. not the bots from macedonian bot farms you find under cycling infrastructure posts on twitter

I'm with Boring. I don't hate children and I try to be as pleasant and sympathetic around them as possible but whatever paternal instinct there is that makes people go crazy over toddlers, enjoy watching them or talking to them for ages, I just lack it. Awkward when so many of my friends have kids now.

Same. A bit like dogs, whom I also lack any deep feeling for.

First of all, I love this thread.

It’s incredibly socially acceptable to hate airports and drinking culture dude

In Ireland, where I live, it's definitely not socially acceptable to hate airports and the whole experience of flying to the point where you would rather not go anywhere. It's assumed, as map says, that you're prepared to put up with the bones of half a day of discomfort, other people's noise, tension, and uncertainty in order to be somewhere sunny for a long weekend with a load of other Irish people. I can't be arsed with it. Unless it's somewhere I really want to go for its own sake, rather than just for the sake of being somewhere else, I would far rather stay at home in my nice comfortable house with all my things around me, thanks.

I also in general don't care about my appearance. I would prefer not to be openly stared at in public, obviously (which is tough when you're very overweight like I am), so I maintain a level of personal hygiene and grooming that won't frighten the horses, and very occcasionally it's nice to dress up fancy for something, but I don't wear makeup, don't like having "a hairdo", don't like restrictive clothing, and absolutely will not wear stupid shoes of any kind, I don't care how much "better" they make a person's legs look or whatever.

Oh yeah, I refuse to accept that professional sport is interesting or valuable. I'm looking at all these people getting excited about Ireland possibly qualifying for the World Cup now, and I just think, yes, play into Trump's hands, help him whitewash his regime you little sheep, go on then. I judge you all.

I love dogs but hate performative dog obsession and the infantilization of language when it comes to them. Cats I abhor! Kids are OK. Well, mine at least...I have nothing in common with other people's kids so I avoid them, crossing the street if safe and if not brandishing an umbrella to fend them off.

I believe it's socially acceptable to hate mayonnaise. I can stand a thinly spread Hellmann's on my turkey sandwich, but the sight and sound of thick waves of mayo makes me retch.

Very happy with my dog, but hate ‘dog mom’ discourse and all the ridiculous accessories accompanying it. I am not looking to buy blankets (or anything else) with paw prints or cartoon bones all over it and I really dislike puns like ‘pawrents’. Just let me chill with my dog, who is not my child, okay?

I was like that with kids and dogs until I had kids and dogs and then I changed my mind, such is my fickle nature.

On the airports, I think not being willing to fly might be less usual, but hating airports is like the default? Everyone hates them? I would say most people would travel a different way if they could tho. The difference in how I feel on a day I have to fly home versus getting a Eurostar train is so vast, agree that airports and flying are loaded with stress.

On dogs, I find them grand and I can see how people want pets. They can be affectionate and good company. I do find there are more careless dog owners around than I remember tho, people bringing dogs to pubs but not looking after them, not considering hygiene or letting them run around unsupervised. I guess just more people have dogs so it's sort of inevitable. And like with children, a lot of people hugely overestimate the level of interest and affection other people have in their dog.

Dunno if this is a fit here but quizzes is a big one for me. If I'm in a pub and a table quiz begins I have to leave, and I don't know why others enjoy them. Obviously a work quiz on video or something is even worse, a lot worse.

xposts

Eurostar was perfect before Brexit.

Professional sports, good one. Especially football.

I also hated kids until I had kids but would not suggest enforcing that as a remedy.

Ice cream.
Cold, sweet and creamy.
Yuck.

How do you feel it's changed, Tom? I guess it takes longer but I can't quite remember even tho I used it a few times before Brexit.

Separately, with kids I have to say I find it harder as a childless person to naturally behave affectionately with like a tiny baby or whatever, tho obviously with family's kids you hold the child and say some dumb shit and chuckle like any other uncle would.

I've found all that stuff easier as my younger relatives get older and it becomes pretty great now some are young adults, not just cos I can bring them to the pub lol, but also I can more generally do stuff with them that we all understand and enjoy. It's also amusing as they get into music and stuff, my then 17-year-old nephew asking me if I'd been to the Berghain a highlight.

Eurostar was just like getting on a train to anywhere in the UK before Brexit. Now it's a kind of half-assed, cobbled together version of flying. Still miles better than flying of course.

getting on a train to anywhere in the UK

Which is in itself often a dire, gruelling and expensive experience.

socially acceptable to hate UK public transport tho (outside london and its many trainsets ofc)

(xp) You're going to Paris though, which helps.

I really hate exercise too. Apparently gyms are places of community, that's eyerolly to me.

I love airports! Like them as little mini-states, weird out of town zones of alienation and anonymity, just pure Ballardian rush.

I like cats, partly because they want to be left alone and are quite anti social. They know xp

Hating things

I love airports! Like them as little mini-states, weird out of town zones of alienation and anonymity, just pure Ballardian rush.

― Ward Fowler, Tuesday, 18 November 2025 bookmarkflaglink

Music for Airports is a classic!

I like exercise but have never been a member in a gym, don't understand the social side of it all, exercise is a thing I do solo, means to an end. Or means to prolong an end.

I'm ambivalent about dogs. My family had two, acquired when I was well into college and thus the perfect age for them. I loved them. Then they died. I can't stand the coercion of amicability -- for example, on my morning walks when a dog runs out the front door and the owner stands there amused and says, "Fifi. No! Come here!" He insists, "No, sir, Fifi won't bite" while I'm hurried walking away from snarling Fifi as if I'm expected to stand there and play with Fifi.

I like most of my friends' dogs. I wouldn't own any pets.

Like (most) dogs but they are way too noisy, dirty and smelly for me to ever have one as a pet.

cheese. Not allergic just fucking hate it. It's disgusting. Yeah I said it. Bring it on!

And butter, throwing that in there too. I don't care anymore.

Dogs too

I will say I don’t “hate” kids either, I’m just not able to relate to them until they can have a grown up conversation (which means they’re not really “kids” anymore).

I am blessed with friends who created mostly wonderful, intelligent kids who are university age now.

I like dogs and dogs like me. Cats are a mixed bag.

I will say I don’t “hate” kids either, I’m just not able to relate to them until they can have a grown up conversation (which means they’re not really “kids” anymore).

Exactly. I don't mind kids but I don't like babies. Once you have ideas and can talk, I'll listen. This is an attitude I inherited from my maternal grandfather. Once you're capable of contributing to the conversation, you're welcome. Before that, you're just underfoot.

Like others have said I don't do exercise for its own sake; it's something that happens on the way to some other goal.

Like I'm not gonna do a stationary bicycle when a normal bike does the same thing with the added benefit of getting me somewhere, ditto walking. I walk or bike everywhere I can (because fuck cars) but I don't do either thing for their own sake.

And I won't lift a weight with a number on it like ever, but I will often lift heavy things in the course of doing the many other things I do.

Drivers stopping to let me cross the road after I already stopped or adjusted for their passing.

― nashwan, Monday, November 17, 2025 12:42 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Yes! but more specifically: drivers that stop for me when they obviously have right of way. Especially when there’s cars coming through from the other direction. Waiting for me to walk into oncoming traffic is not courteous!

Not courteous and actively dangerous. We had a tragic case here in our neighborhood a few months ago where two kids were waiting to cross a busy 4-lane street, and someone stopped in the lane nearest to them and waved them across. The light was green and the kids should have waited until it was red, but here was a grown-up motioning them to go ... and they couldn't see past that car into the inside lane, where there was a car that was not stopping, and ran right into the kids and killed a 9-year-old. Just so bad.

Also I've noticed drivers always assume a pedestrian can see them behind their windows when they often can't due to the tint of the windows or lighting conditions, so I question whether drivers should try to communicate in this way at all.

darraghmac - I was only noting that I was able to buy a large, cold bottle of beer cheaply at the Copenhagen airport... I don't pretend it's a cheap city

This is Tiktok discourse adjacent and I know it's being wielded on the side of misogyny there but just personally I hate engagement & wedding showers. Maybe not baby showers, I can take a beat because no one owns baby stuff the first time. But penniless teenaged/early 20s couples mostly don't need to have their whole home environment provided for them in the modern era. People have salad spinners and dish sets already. It also acts as a penalty on single people who are never considered worthy of having THEIR home-making recognized by their communities.

Also it reinforces nuclear family supremacy and hetero patriarchy. Harrumph.

you monster

It might be a cultural difference. In many Hispanic cultures but especially Cuban it's an occasion when a son or daughter moves out (we're expected to stay home until we marry), so we get the full monty. When I bought my place my parents provided the cutlery, dish sets, and a fridge.

I would like to point out that in many states of the US the pedestrian has right of way where two streets intersect even if there is not a marked crosswalk—except if there is a traffic light. At a traffic light traffic with the green has priority. Anyway, blame car oriented street design and poor training of drivers to know the laws.

What that driver did in Knoxville was foolish, of course. But it was probably based on a misunderstanding of the law.

I also see pedestrians here blithely walking into moving traffic even if the cars have the green light, in the mistaken understanding pedestrians always have the right of way.

xp I think showers like that are a hangover from the olden days, with maybe a young couple actually didn't own shit.. or you pin money to their clothes or something

Yes exactly.

Acknowledged, Alfred. :)

Everyone should get cutlery no matter the occasion and a Negroni should they request one.

marriage

Hahahaha cosign

I really hate exercise too. Apparently gyms are places of community, that's eyerolly to me.

― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, November 18, 2025 10:57 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

wtf i thought you were a yoga instructor???

For me, the concept of exercise has the sole purpose of producing a physical effect that one has decided is a rationally desirable goal. Any pleasure obtained is entirely dependent on how well that goal is achieved.

this extremely limited conception of exercise might be related to why you don't like it.

you do piano exercises to get better at playing piano. do any "real" pieces sound like hanon? no but playing hanon expands your capabilities.

similarly, you do movement exercises to get better at moving. lots of different exercises for lots of different kinds of movement. also if you don't do exercises you'll lose your moving capabilities at a steady clip. moving is also widely enjoyed by most people afaict, so if you aren't enjoying it, that's ok and all but you may be missing out on something that feels good and adds value to your life.

going to add 'jaywalkers' here because any time I bitch about them, I get called a crotchety old man or a 'rules pedant' or lectured about how people who commit such minor infractions shouldn't be bullied by police (even though I never asked for or wanted them to be).

but I really feel like people dramatically underestimate how dangerous it is. I'm not talking about people who cross in the middle of the intersection when the streets are devoid of cars or at intersections where the crosswalks are mega fucking far apart/construction, but people who literally stand like a deer in the headlights as you hurtle toward them. it's a major issue here.

In one of the more horrific things I've personally seen, I once came across a man lying in a pool of blood in the most dangerous intersection in town after he got hit by a speeding vehicle (he died the next morning). I also hit someone on a bicycle once because I was five vehicles deep at a traffic light, and once it turned green and it was finally my turn to go, a bicycle darted in front of me in the middle of the intersection right as I hit the gas. I hadn't seen him coming as he was moving fast. fortunately he was ok, it was low speed, scrape on his arms only, and he declined my offer to take him to the hospital.

some cities, it isn't a problem because so many people have gotten mowed down that people reflexively learned not to do it, but in downtown Orlando, pedestrians seem to have a death wish. one or two people just walk across whenever there isn't a car immediately bearing down on them, so frequently you wind up hard braking at a green light (and hoping the person behind you doesn't smash into you) because you find 10 people standing in the middle of the road.

the other thing is there's crosswalks everywhere, but people choose the least safe places as if almost to troll you. last year I had to slam on my brakes because 5 costumed young adults decided to come out from behind thick bushes and just darted into the road right as I turned onto it.

I pretty much drive slow as fuck downtown any time I'm down there because it happens so often. hell, even outside of downtown, there are few street corners that don't have flowers on them.

yeah, I feel when it comes to pedestrian and car interactions, it is almost always very clear who has the right of way and it annoys me that some people try to be courteous by letting the other party go through an intersection when they have a right of way. It slows everyone down and as mentioned above, can sometimes be very dangerous.

So yeah, I hate jaywalkers too. I'm also going to add that I also hate people who speed on city streets, those speed limits are low for a very good reason, which is something drivers around here seem to not comprehend at all.

Hanon exercises mentioned, definitely didn't expect the torture implements of my teenage years to enter the chat but here we are etc

hate idiot drivers gesturing towards other drivers/pedestrians/cyclists

now we're just talking about hating things that everyone hates

also if you don't do exercises you'll lose your moving capabilities at a steady clip.

Not buying it. Moving is integral to any physical activity. Activities that are not anything one ever does in "real" life, apart from doing the programmed motions during time set aside for them, are not required to maintain one's ability to move. If I regularly bend over to tie my shoes, I won't lose that ability just because I failed to spend time trying to touch a spot two inches behind my heels.

Sorry, that's just not true.

Exercise gives you the flexibility and endurance to bend, crouch, stretch beyond your age; it also releases endorphins that does wonders for your mood for hours, in addition to giving you the mental security to try things like bending over to tie your shoes.

Exercise gives you the flexibility and endurance to bend, crouch, stretch beyond your age

Exercises are a form of physical activity, so yes I agree such exercise provides all the benefits that come with using your body in various ways, but there are plenty of unprogrammed ways to use your body that provide such benefits, like dancing or gardening. Endorphins are not the sole province of gym workouts. They existed long before gym equipment was invented.

dancing is exercise

I don't go to the gym.

Hanon exercises mentioned, definitely didn't expect the torture implements of my teenage years to enter the chat but here we are etc

― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Tuesday, November 18, 2025 6:52 PM (thirty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmao, i meant my post about exercise to be welcoming and instead summoned the bane of every piano playing child's life.

dancing is dancing. the entire concept of exercising is quite recent.

Aimless won't lose muscle elasticity with age because he's built different and hasn't noticed any such problem yet

the ability to stay mobile until older ages is also recent. you'd either be using a cane or dead

I don't go to the gym.

what sorts of exercise are you endorsing as necessary beyond leading a physically active life?

Endorphins are not the sole province of gym workouts. They existed long before gym equipment was invented.

gardening and dancing are definitely exercise. "gym equipment," sure, but i doubt that the act of lifting heavy things and seeing yourself grow larger and more powerful has ever not been with us.

the entire concept of exercising is quite recent.

this isn't true.

Sit-ups, curls, and a five-mile walk every morning. xxpost

I wish I loved exercise and travel and trying new things and making Christmas dinner for 50 people and staying positive.

However, I am grumpy and set in my ways. And the older i get the more entrenched I feel in just wanting my routine. And I am not even 40.

what sorts of exercise are you endorsing as necessary beyond leading a physically active life?

― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Tuesday, November 18, 2025 7:28 PM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

your hikes would benefit from some regular deadlifts and loaded walking lunges.

loaded exercise increases bone density and mass - that's the big reason why older folks are doing more resistance training these days. more bone strength - less chance of a break from a fall.

your hikes would benefit from some regular deadlifts and loaded walking lunges.
― jennyTina (map), Tuesday, November 18, 2025 1:34 PM (forty-seven seconds ago)

Exercise-heads always have to say things like this to justify the abuse they inflict on themselves. It's sad

afaics, I have hit pay dirt when it comes to the terms of the thread subject

However, I am grumpy and set in my ways. And the older i get the more entrenched I feel in just wanting my routine. And I am not even 40.

― treeship 2, Tuesday, November 18, 2025

If your routine pleased you, then hell yeah and why not. But the first sentence and the general tone of your posts suggests you ain't happy, and that's not good. Routine as a redoubt against the world is an idea I sympathize with so long as I don't wither.

the entire concept of exercising is quite recent.

this isn't true.

citation needed. humans have been around a very long time.

You have to train for MORE than the level of activity/mobility that you need as a baseline, plus more to account for the fact that we lose x% of our capacity with aging. If you just stick to your daily stairs, walking, bending, etc you gradually lose the outer edges of all your capabilities until your former edge is impossible and your former "average" is now your edge. Saw it happen to my mom--she thought she was okay because she climbed stairs and lifted things all day and was physically tired, but it didn't build up her abilities it just wore her down.

_ the entire concept of exercising is quite recent.

this isn't true._

citation needed. humans have been around a very long time.

The ancient Greeks had gyms, but they were dumb

Soh-crates.

gyms make it easy to do loaded exercise applied to almost every joint in the body. i get why people hate gyms - the culture is annoyingly ego-driven and many people find that draining to be around (including myself).

another valid reason to hate exercise is because it's uncomfortable.

a non-valid reason to hate exercise is "it's not necessary" or "it's a recent invention."

xp i'm not going to give you a citation but it was there in ancient greece. if you really think it wasn't a part of who we were as a species before that i'm not going to be able to find anything to change your mind.

Loaded walking? No thanks! Give me some loaded nachos!

"You have to wear yourself down more so you don't get so worn down" <-- what exercisors literally believe

I do see a distinction between 'I'm gonna go out for a bike ride/walk/jog for an hour or so' and 'I need to get my reps in! Working on my laterals' etc.

I know a dude who is otherwise nice, but he's a total gym rat and does insta videos about this shit, I think he's trying to parlay it into an income stream

I'm going to the gym tonight because knocking out an easy 10 miles on a bike under increasing loads makes me feel like a badass and if I ever get a chance to ride a bike outside this damn city again I'LL BE READY.

I don't know, Andy, I don't see a binary. The difference, I think, is how performative you wanna be about working on laterals.

international football

(social acceptance of hatred depends on circles you move in, I suppose)

not answering the thread question

wise man

Yes! but more specifically: drivers that stop for me when they obviously have right of way. Especially when there’s cars coming through from the other direction. Waiting for me to walk into oncoming traffic is not courteous!

― ed.b

this, tho. makes me lose my mind. the road is really one of those places where predictably following the rules takes full precedence over whatever anyone thinks is good manners or being nice

oh and parents

kids, kids are bad, thought often the kind of bad i approve of.

parents? ridiculous creatures.

Alfred the difference for me is general cardiac health vs. sculpting myself into a chisled adonis and all that entails

You don't need tail!

Apparently, it has become socially unacceptable to allow yourself to age in such a way that you do not consciously strive to maintain your agility, muscle mass, and bone density to the greatest degree possible. Even if you nothing to meet this standard, you are expected to acknowledge that this amounts to a failure to live up to the correct course of conduct.

Loaded walking? No thanks! Give me some loaded nachos!

I'm into fitness...

Fitness whole pizza into my mouth

https://i.imgur.com/WCmd1pc.jpeg

there are very clear health benefits to exercising. exercising also makes people feel good. if you aren't into it, that's cool. but that's a you thing, not an exercise thing. all the things i hate that are socially not ok to hate, i recognize they are me things.

I do see a distinction between 'I'm gonna go out for a bike ride/walk/jog for an hour or so' and 'I need to get my reps in! Working on my laterals'

what is the distinction you see? cardio health and strength are equally valid.

"You have to wear yourself down more so you don't get so worn down" <-- what exercisors literally believe

― JRN, Tuesday, November 18, 2025 7:44 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

this is literally how human bodies work.

Apparently, it has become socially unacceptable to allow yourself to age in such a way that you do not consciously strive to maintain your agility, muscle mass, and bone density to the greatest degree possible. Even if you nothing to meet this standard, you are expected to acknowledge that this amounts to a failure to live up to the correct course of conduct.

No one is stopping you from aging into a rusty C-clamp if you want! I don't think you do, but you could.

i also hate exercising but if I dont' do it 2x a week I feel absolutely wretched and fucked. I'm on the far side of 50, did not exercise when I was young, and as a result I am weak and feeble. Thankfully I'm not also overweight otherwise I'd be done for.

i used to wonder how people died from falls and then I fell down a few times and was like "oh"

people continuing to post things on imgur

Beat me to it.

I'm not really into cake

I'll eat a little at birthday parties if it's forced on me, but that's it

No one is stopping you from aging into a rusty C-clamp if you want!

I'm more interested in the evolution of social mores over my lifetime, from where exercising (done as a kind of programmatic health regimen, not as a byproduct of one's daily activities) was seen as a thing some people did, but most did not, to now where it is seen as central component of a 'healthy lifestyle'. I can't help but notice that this change in social attitude has been pushed along largely by capitalism. This is not to say that doing curls, loaded lunges, running, or other 'fitness' activities don't deliver some physical benefits. I know they do. But it is the introduction of social pressure to embrace 'fitness' and the quasi-moral elements that often accompany that pressure which strikes me as peculiarly new and strange.

Despite the posts here, Aimless, I see no social pressure to embrace fitness -- even in the gay world. Some of my (gay and straight) friends work out, some don't, that's that. If anything, the easing of stigmas against less fit body types is one of the good things to emerge in the last decade.

I see no social pressure to embrace fitness

You never run into anyone who says "I know I'm being bad. I don't exercise nearly enough."

xp fair enough. i agree that fitness culture has gotten much bigger and more omnipresent, and that messaging about fitness has gone from zero to almost coerceive, since the 50s at least.

well if you see group photos of Americans in, say, the 40's or 50's.. most people were slim if not skinny. We have a really calorie rich diet now and a lot more people 'struggle' with their weight, for better or worse

But do you see any social pressure to stop posting imgur?

twisting minor inconveniences into opportunities to express grievance about being oppressed must be one of those things that America inherited from the British

pretty soon people will complain about pronouns

there's no grievance, just a good chunk of the people reading the thread can't see your pictures and it's very easy to switch to using another site

There is massive pressure to embrace health and fitness and self care.

I don’t think this is bad. I have always needed to be pressured into every positive step I’ve ever taken in my life. I *want* to be left alone to rot. But I *shouldn’t* want that, and intellectually I know that, and people in my life don’t let me do that and never have.

As a father, I feel very torn because I don’t want to model laziness. But this is so much of who I am. I will never want to go for a walk, even, instead of sit on my couch toggling between internet and a book with my cat frances in my lap. (This is what I am doing now).

Part of me thinks there is a general rule where the things we want aren’t good for us, and this was maybe even better understood in previous times. I often feel motivated by obligation, duty, even guilt. And this seems ok. Maybe others are driven to be productive, seize the day types, but others are likely built like me.

I am still refining this thought, but I think the thing that grates is the pressure I feel to like stuff. I don’t resent pressure to do stuff because it is important like exercising. “This sucks but you have to do it” is more appealing to me than “if you find the exercise you like you’ll love it.”

Foucault had something to say about this I think.

We have to imagine Sisyphus knows it sucks but he has to do it

I have a strong inclination to go walking, and am always stoked to have a few hours to go rambling around, either with friends or solo. I even watch youtube videos of people on walking trips and read books about walking... however, actually *running* is not very fun anymore as I have hip & knee pain

But while I might be getting some exercise by walking, that's never been my motivation; it's more to look at buildings or trees, finding lost creeks, etc. More like urban exploration or rambling. The health benefits (if there are any) are just gravy

Some people really love exercise and that is awesome for them. Some people might like cleaning. I don’t but I like living in a clean space so I do it.

so what gives you pleasure

mashed potatoes

is it not socially acceptable to hate exercise

is that actually the contention

Reading, music, quality time with friends, spending time with my kids

the more popular something is the more likely it's socially acceptable to hate it.

xpost

tallest poppy syndrome

Overrated bands

Watching films, discussing ideas, writing, teaching (my career). A lot of things. But there are things I hate that are also important, like going outside, responding to texts, cooking (big one - i am not a foodie - also not acceptable), and exercise

The thing I like the most of all is acting grumpy and contrarian and like a pain in the ass.

there are lots of unpleasant things you can pay other people to do for you, you can even get a personal chef to make healthy meals that are a million times more delicious than if you had made them, but you can’t pay somebody to exercise for you, have you ever thought about that?

you've never watched Jane Fonda VHS tapes, have you

Watching them without doing the exercise confers no health benefit

i don't think anyone should try to convince you. we can probably just move on.

I hate moving on

See it’s fun to hate stuff

Neil Tennant, otm.

I am still refining this thought, but I think the thing that grates is the pressure I feel to like stuff. I don’t resent pressure to do stuff because it is important like exercising. “This sucks but you have to do it” is more appealing to me than “if you find the exercise you like you’ll love it.”

I've been doing yoga for years and there hasn't been a single second of it I didn't wish I was reading instead. But it helps me feel slightly less shit and presumably gives me more reading time in my life overall. It's fine to view it as a chore imo, not everything has to be fun.

This is my point.

Even Christmas can be tolerated if one learns to see it as a chore.

“This sucks but you have to do it” is more appealing to me than “if you find the exercise you like you’ll love it.”

haha interesting. it is what it is but doesn't this strike you as a little perverse?

i've always been of the strong inclination that if something doesn't engage me, interest me, or i otherwise can't enjoy it, i'm just not going to do it. with things that i wouldn't do of my own accord, the trick for me is always - how can i do this in a way that i enjoy it? i feel like generally speaking that has involved sinking into the presence and flow of the act itself, the sensation of it, letting my thoughts about it evaporate. with doing the dishes, for instance, i used to approach them with the thought "i hate doing this and i want to get it over with as soon as possible" and i would rush through it and feel miserable. lately though i find myself just doing them and not really feeling any type of way about it, just noticing how it feels as i make each motion. i'm noticing bits of pleasure in the present experience of the actions themselves.

xp you're in luck with walking vs. running: the cardio benefits of both are really close to each other. volume is more important than speed. going for long walks is a great way to maintain cardio health. being out in the world is one of the major draws of any form of cardio. i despise walking or running on a treadmill, or rowing on a row machine. despise is too strong of a word--i'll do it, but much prefer the "real" versions.

i've been a weightlifter for many years, at this point a weights session for me is a form of dancing. i try to make every movement as expressive and conscious / aware as possible. i express and release big emotions with weights. often times i'll have a cry between heavy sets. weights are really a physical experience unlike any other. the mental health benefits are very real. i think there's something about linking your mind to your body in such an intense way that eases anxiety. there are the brain chemicals of course and then just moving blood around your body feels very cleansing in my experience.

wow, i'd never seen those neil tennant quotes. i've been thinking about that exact concept a lot in recent years. i think it's false to assume that only positivity breeds positivity, or that hatred can't be part of the driver for change or a sort of furnace for your actions. for me, it's a thing i think about a lot working on public services, as it's very political and involves a lot of convincing/arguing to try to do good. when i've worked on difficult things i think hatred is what gives me more determination to fix them than i'd otherwise have.

For another data point for what aimless writes on the change in societal values re: physical fitness, I refer you to the current situation on water consumption.

Number of kids on my school bus with a water bottle: zero. Number of kids on my kid's school bus without a water bottle: also zero.

t's a thing i think about a lot working on public services, as it's very political and involves a lot of convincing/arguing to try to do good. when i've worked on difficult things i think hatred is what gives me more determination to fix them than i'd otherwise have.

Good point.

there's a good bit in one of the knausgard books where he goes on some rage-filled rant about everyone in sweden drinking too much water and speculates they'll all be getting urinary tract infections. not so much because i agree but just the slightly silly rage of it. same rant he is furious he brings his kids to a party and it's all carrot sticks and no cake.

xpost it can give people an advantage. and obv it can mean risk of making things more difficult for yourself but i know a lot of stuff i'm proud of or stuff i pushed for harder was because of hatred, of certain organisations/rules/treating public with disdain. i don't display hatred obv. it's more private/personal. it's like the engine room in a ship.

"Anger is an energy." John Lydon. The challenge is to harness that energy into productive actions.

For my part, I hate "street food" or "ethnic food" at fine dining prices in Instagram-ready settings. I don't know about other cities, but it seems as if every new place in the DC area is offering "elevated" Lebanese or Greek food, when we need more diners, delis, and other accessible places. Especially for breakfast.

I've used that Lydon lyric way too many times since 1998.

I hate guessing. So many people see the news, and guess and wonder about what it means, how it'll play out, who got played and who's going to get played next, blah blah fucking blah. Just sit tight, you'll fucking find out soon enough. The US politics threads fill me with despair.

I hear you, WmC.

agree with that.

definitely not socially acceptable to hate u.s. and state government on this board, or at my job (i work for the state) but i do.

also i'm an out gay / queer man and i hate pride.

i hate rainbow crosswalks.

ohh ohh while i'm at it: "street art". like, officially sanctioned antiseptic murals and godawful sculptures planted in little concrete apportionments next to bike lanes in "revitalized" neighborhoods. basically the entire urban design aesthetic of my greedy try-hard bitch-ass city.

"If there were no ugly feelings, would we be alive?", The Residents.

"Anger is an energy." John Lydon

I used to think this was sort of wrong, especially as I've seen people using it who seem to be saying that venting or ranting is in fact an end in itself, in the social media era and maybe before. Or to mean like 'being angry is the best way to pursue one's goals'. But it makes sense in the context of the discussion itt.

ohh ohh while i'm at it: "street art". like, officially sanctioned antiseptic murals and godawful sculptures planted in little concrete apportionments next to bike lanes in "revitalized" neighborhoods. basically the entire urban design aesthetic of my greedy try-hard bitch-ass city.

really hate this. i'm vaguely involved in the residents group for my block and the last meeting was taken up by a long discussion of how we should get 'local artists' to decorate our stairwells. i am praying this doesn't happen as it seems impossible to imagine something that won't ultimately be far uglier and ephemmeral than the relatively nice, bland sixties tiling/concrete we have now.

i guess the reason i scare quote 'local artists' is the emphasis is on local, the nature of the art or what we consider a nice or good or interesting thing to put on the walls won't be discussed until some person rolls a dice in their head and says 'we should use this person'.

ephemeral obv

For my part, I hate "street food" or "ethnic food" at fine dining prices in Instagram-ready settings.

Yeah, I love the concept of grabbing something small and/or greasy to go and still think back yearningly to the night markets of Seoul, but "street food" as a buzzword is now usually a sign the place are trendy chancers - I've seen places that don't even offer takeaway or outside seating claim the term. Do restaurants in Washington really bill themselves as "ethnic food" though? Sounds pretty racist.

A meme occasionally goes around where the round cardboard ‘bowl’ used by food trucks is evidence that rents in that area are going up because ‘street food’ equals gentrification.

I really hate exercise too. Apparently gyms are places of community, that's eyerolly to me.

― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, November 18, 2025 10:57 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

wtf i thought you were a yoga instructor???

For me, the concept of exercise has the sole purpose of producing a physical effect that one has decided is a rationally desirable goal. Any pleasure obtained is entirely dependent on how well that goal is achieved.

this extremely limited conception of exercise might be related to why you don't like it.

― jennyTina (map), Tuesday, 18 November 2025 bookmarkflaglink

I am teacher training under a strict system with a two day assessment (lol) in which there is a (small) chance I won't pass. I will probably wnd up teaching yoga in gyms or cold church halls.

My (or Patanjali's) conception of yoga is more in terms of trying to use the body to still the mind, and then to use that to face what the future has in store. I know it can be a great workout and I can teach it as if it's workout (lots of fast repetitions of poses and 'exciting' sequencing) but there is a lot of static stuff that 'bores' (or really stresses) people, and then there's Pranayama ("breath work") which many won't touch. So its more than exercise to me. Surya Namaskars are the only time I do much cardiovascular work in it I think.

---

I think its more the beauty and competition culture around exercise. Gyms are kinda grim looking to me too. A lot of yoga plays up to it and its supposed health benefits, which bugs me. But there's a long history of it and it was often done so that it could grow beyond what it was.

Obviously our sedentary lifestyles have had a role in the growth of the exercise industrial complex, so you totally need some sort of work if you sit on furniture all day but I feel like a lot of problems can be solved by walking briskly for a good portion of the day and cutting down on crap foods. Again, depends on your life and you may have specific conditions where that may not be possible or enough.

Even Christmas can be tolerated if one learns to see it as a chore.

I think the difference between exercise and Christmas is that Christmas isn't supposed to be a chore.

The exercise/health push thing annoys me partly because the government frames it as something to help you be happier and live a healthier life, when in fact they just want you to stop going to the doctor so much so that they don't have to spend so much money on doctoring. And stop calling in sick to work, you little work unit, you.

Does the government push exercise? I guess there have been some nudges over the years but it's not something I feel I see very often.

I'd have thought most of the evangelical attitudes towards exercise and body image generally come from social media. So many weird ads and general lies about health on there.

I have to say tho I think some of the way people talk about exercise is because it effectively is a drug, and that's how it makes you feel. I have a long-term chronic illness and a lot of mornings I wake feeling like total shit, weak, dehydrated, like a hangover even if not been out. Exercise is the only thing I've found which alleviates that.

I equally understand it's hard and incredibly hard to build a habit or change how we live generally.

Government does push activities/exercise/sport and healthy diets, as nudges, to increase health 'outcomes' so as to decrease pressures on the NHS, is my reading of what goes on.

Culturally there seems to be a decrease in drinking among the young, and an increase in exercise, and personally I would like to teach in places where there is a community feel. I did see a community gym when I was walking about a few months ago, just wondering how that works in practice..

I have never been inside a gym in my 46 years on earth and no plan to start now. a few years ago I did go to a parkrun and found it to be a mortifying experience. turns out what I hate isn't exercise, it's exercise with other people.

I mean sure all governments to some extent push that stuff, but I don't think it's that visible. What are they actually or specifically doing, besides us vaguely reckoning they are doing it? In the UK I don't really know, tho I agree it must be happening in some way. I assume it doesn't involve giving people free gym access or anything like that.

Definitely nothing free.

there was a time - and it may still be the case - that some GPs could prescribe free gym access to patients. but i'm struggling to remember whether that's been stopped or whether it's practically impossible to get this

the definition of exercise seems to be a very personal one and very loaded

if we tried to find a shared acceptable descriptor im not sure we'd some up with "that thing the govt tried to make me do" or "gymstagram" but maybe we would

living in a moving body and trial and effort within the freedoms and confines of that body is, dare i say it, a privilege and one i revel in as often and as much as possible and the possible end results or possible other projected motivators across health and looks and societal contact are secondary to me to the bliss of the moment but its not possible to untangle it for everyone obviously

i feel like a lot of the "I hate this" on this thread is less about activities or things in themselves but a combination of social aversion, commercial aversion and grift aversion. and tbh, tho i recognise that the first one is a toughie, those are pretty simple things to disconnect from the activities and events themselves imo

I couldn't think of anything I hated atm until map posted "street art" - some cunt has been scrawling platitudes with an instagram handle on pavements around where I live and I hate them. went to London last week for a gig in Shoreditch and the fucker has been there too, outside Shoreditch High St station is the same bullshit phrase that appears round the corner from me. it's all shit like "still healing that wounded child @wanker". assume it's some kind of viral marketing stunt

exercise pushed from outside as a duty is very fair to hate, most things pushed as a duty are fair to hate

exercise routine that becomes or is someones identity- i get hating it, id invite anyone doing so to consider what their own activity based identity is and whether they think others hating that back is fair game or not

exercise itself? be like hating 'music' imo

lol nv ofc otm xp

I know in Ireland there are some exercise programmes your GP can sign you up to, because my parents have been signed up to them at various times. Aquarobics, basic aerobics for older people, that kind of thing. There's one my mother goes to now that is subsidised, and there's a physio there as well as (I think) a nurse in case anyone gets into difficulty. Mam has to pay a token amount for the class, but it's all channeled through her GP.

My doctor is always telling me now, like literally every time I go, that I need to include high-impact exercise in my daily routine in order to keep my bones healthy. It's not that I mind being reminded occasionally, but it's every single time, even when I had shingles and could hardly move, as if there's a checklist that the GP has to tick off whenever she sees me. And I don't feel like it's in good faith. Like, the government doesn't actually care if I'm healthy and happy. Really they just want to make sure I don't fall and break a hip, because they don't have step-down beds for rehabilitation of long-term injuries. At least during COVID they were honest about it. They did ask people to avoid risky activities so that they wouldn't need to call an ambulance or take up a hospital bed that might be in short supply.

i feel like a lot of the "I hate this" on this thread is less about activities or things in themselves but a combination of social aversion, commercial aversion and grift aversion.

Yeah, that's a lot of it for me. I don't mind exercise, really. I just don't like being told what to do.

Like, the government doesn't actually care if I'm healthy and happy. Really they just want to make sure I don't fall and break a hip, because they don't have step-down beds for rehabilitation of long-term injuries

this is not only 'actually caring' imo, it's pretty much the correct level for the govt to care!

govt as busy irish mammy, if you like

Government does push activities/exercise/sport and healthy diets, as nudges, to increase health 'outcomes' so as to decrease pressures on the NHS, is my reading of what goes on.

Not very much tbh. I think that sort of thing might be seen as a bit too nanny state - in England that is, one thing I notice when I go up to Scotland is the sheer number of public information adverts on TV put out by the Scottish government.

"the definition of exercise seems to be a very personal one and very loaded"

Its not definition, its about how the thing works in society at large. If I said to ppl in my orbit that I didn't like exercise it possibly wouldn't go down well because exercise is a thing that has helped them. I wouldn't try to say it.

Whereas a popular movie/song/TV show, it's fine.

xp - tom D, that's why I said its very nudge-like, so it doesn't get to nanny state accusations.

that comparison doesnt work for me tbh

again to me its not saying you dislike a specific show or book, it would be like saying you didnt like film, or books

you'd get a reaction of curiosity at the very least

im proving the thread point here ofc

This thread otm.

I will add television. No, I haven’t watched [latest Netflix slop.] Oh, you are also recommending another true crime thing where [x] is [this type of psychopath], cool. How much of that can you watch before you just get really sad about humanity? You really learnt about [fictionalised vague versions of historical event or how x crime really happens] did you? Oh you didn’t but you also looked at its Wikipedia so now you really know what happens? Great. Come back to me when something as good as 30 Rock appears or STFU.

I couldn't think of anything I hated atm until map posted "street art" - some cunt has been scrawling platitudes with an instagram handle on pavements around where I live and I hate them. went to London last week for a gig in Shoreditch and the fucker has been there too, outside Shoreditch High St station is the same bullshit phrase that appears round the corner from me. it's all shit like "still healing that wounded child @wanker". assume it's some kind of viral marketing stunt

lol the weird thing about these, which i've seen, is they seem copied from someone who did this in nyc a few years ago. like i guess they're not vastly original in either case so maybe just a coincidence, but i visited a friend there last summer and she enjoyed pointing out to me the one that said whatever dumb advertising slogan as philosophy thing and someone had sprayed 'bitch, u high!' beside it.

Not very much tbh. I think that sort of thing might be seen as a bit too nanny state - in England that is, one thing I notice when I go up to Scotland is the sheer number of public information adverts on TV put out by the Scottish government.

agree. vaguely related - i used to find the ads on itv northern ireland hilarious when growing up. iirc they had 'don't drink and fry', warning people not just about having a fryup after a feed of pints, but specifically not to fill a pot of oil and make chips.

i am very averse to "positive community culture" stuff in general, including sanctioned street art, spoken word performances, anything that reeks of wholemeal "this shit is good for you" bourgie respectabilisation of culture as medicine tbh

i'm not articulating that well but i know it and avoid it when i see it

xp that’s why Pintman needed Maureen

GPs can still refer people for cut-price LA gym membership to mitigate conditions eg. type 2 diabetes or obesity based on BMI (often the two are co-morbidities).

The spin cycle classes at my local gym are fantastic because the instructor’s soundtrack is bashment/grime/dancehall/hip-hop. He is Jamaican and markets his private sector classes as Riddim Rides.

Do restaurants in Washington really bill themselves as "ethnic food" though?

They don't bill themselves as "ethnic"; rather they pitch themselves as offering authentic *CUISINE*. I know that restaurants, especially the lower-end ones I want, are deeply dependent on immigration and immigrants. But it grinds my gears when yet another ramen/burrito/falafel place opens with a fanfare of press releases and quietly closes 6 months later.

i am very averse to "positive community culture" stuff in general, including sanctioned street art, spoken word performances, anything that reeks of wholemeal "this shit is good for you" bourgie respectabilisation of culture as medicine tbh

Absolutely spot on and articulated perfectly imo

Performative Christmas decorations. Reindeers on your roof, projections of snowflakes down your house, LED trees in your garden. Given the amount of garden pumpkins and gravestones which abounded in our estate in late October, I think we may have actually moved into my own personal hell.

It's gone mental alright. I don't know why. Is it the internet? It's probably the internet.

We will have the correct amount of tree and trinkets inside the house for us, and outside can go whistle.

excessive noise and gaudy decoration = things I love that are not socially acceptable to love

How do ppl feel about pianos in train stations? imo it's good

Street art coming up also raises another point. On the corner of my street is a barbers and they have had their wall painted like Bart Simpson is going to the barbers. Recently some friends swerved off route to go take pictures by a wall in Hove to take pictures by another Simpsons themed wall. When I worked on Brick Lane, there was a touring activity where you could go see the set from Friends that was massively popular.

Now, the Simpsons was a good tv show before it was a bad one. Friends was good for what it was. They are also fucking done. When I go into the office they play Radio 2 on the radio and it is rare they play songs from this century. And they play the same songs by those 20th century artists - they never pick someone’s 5th biggest hit. There are countless other examples.

It is 25 years into this century and I’m fucking bored of the previous one, in the way it has been commodified and repeated back to me without my willing participation.

Pianos in train stations in London 9/10 times only attract tossers filming themselves for their tiktoks covering Hallelujah / Georga Ezra / Adelle. it's a massive relief to walk past on the rare occasion to see either a tuneless child or a genuine odd weirdo playing some discordant nonsense.

Buskers in general; I support people wanting to perform, i support music, i support people hearing music - but again London = boring tossers sometimes with a PA playing the same set of songs; and yet often they have a rapt audience of people genuinely enjoying it as part of their special holiday, maybe from a tiny village in some tiny country where guitars don't exist - so I have to force my hatred down and try to wish them well.

Some of the hatred comes from working for 5 years in the old livenation office on argyll street; wannabe musicians desperate to be signed would play for hours, pointed directly towards the building, usually with a PA - with some wild hope that people who were sorting the routing for the next Beyonce tour would pause and say "hey now that's a voice! let's sign them up!" every now and then, their place would get taken by a homeless guy who would hum improvised tunes loudly through a traffic cone to amplify the sound, and that was a nice break.

I was just thinking this morning that I could walk to the train station to learn the piano and be a tuneless weirdo a little bit every day. I can’t imagine I’d ever go through with it though.

with some wild hope that people who were sorting the routing for the next Beyonce tour would pause and say "hey now that's a voice! let's sign them up!"

Precedent

https://arebelliousnoise.substack.com/p/busted-for-busking-when-elvis-costello

Yeah busking in London is so commodified and regulated by the city that it just feels like another shitty tourist attraction. Will tip if I hear bossa nova sung though out of lusophone solidarity.

having recently revisited "Almost Blue" - this is still not a positive result.

with the pianos, you either have to be completely immune to public judgement, or crave it to an embarrassing level

used to be a guy in oxford circus tube who would play stuff from Ride the Lightning and Master Of Puppets on the way to the northern line; that was pretty cool actually and i would give him a little headbang nod

Yes I love the idea of the pianos but, in London, it has been commandeered by people who are reading scores from tablets etc.

There's one in the Mitchell Library in Glasgow which is an electric piano with headphones so only the person playing can hear it. This is the correct way to do public piano practice.

They should be for anyone to use, not just for people who want to be discovered by Claudia Winkelman.

I think the difference between exercise and Christmas is that Christmas isn't supposed to be a chore.

― trishyb, Wednesday, November 19, 2025 4:05 AM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Christmas, or Thanksgiving in my case, is a chore if you are hosting, and if you need to contain people's expectations. Right this minute I am mad at my mother (talk about things it is not socially acceptable to hate), because she's getting carried away, and I'm trying to keep her from buying more food than we need or seasonal accessories that I don't want.

"She would of been a good woman," The Misfit said, "if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life."

lol Alfred

it's very acceptable to hate the Southern US, especially if you don't live there; if you do, it's both acceptable and problematic

“’Now I want you to tell me just one thing more: Why do you hate the South?’

‘I don’t hate it,’ Quentin said, quickly, at once, immediately. ‘I don’t hate it,’ he said. I don’t hate it he thought, panting in the cold air, the iron New England dark: I don’t. I don’t! I don’t hate it! I don’t hate it!”

It's complicated

Ha ha ha. Past Thanksgivings have been a net classic, but tempered with periodic dud moments--accommodating my pescatarian sister, coping with unsolicited extra pies, people bugging me just as I'm at the busiest moment, people pulling books from my shelves and asking me about them while I'm preoccupied with last-minute things, people sneaking into my kitchen and doing things behind my back....

As for the southern US states, in terms of nationality they are FAMILY, and few things get under your skin like family members who persist in doing X.

(The US is getting more polarized, and Americans are increasingly more open about declaring they find this or that regional folkway as BAD and WRONG.)

Tattoos

Sticking with "are not socially acceptable to hate", and in no particular order: Exercise, gyms, swimming pools, cars, garages, sports, people talking about their pets, suburbia, diy/homeware stores, victim impact statements, dinner parties, new-build housing, performative charity work, "people continuing to post things on imgur", Switzerland, eating out in large groups, cleaning, sharing plates, sci-fi, gaming, Christmas cards.

Thanksgiving is autopilot for me, oddly one of the easiest meals of the year.

Simply because it doesn't require a lot of creativity. The menu was set before I was born and my sisters and I have long since memorized the recipes and steps and the sequence.

I find an average Tuesday dinner a bigger challenge, because I have to come up with an idea that I didn't use in the previous few days and that uses the ingredients we have and accommodates who's going to be home and what they'll eat and what kind of leftover will or won't result.

halloween

i have one of these but i can't say it, it's not socially acceptable

I hate lamp

Cute kittens can just fuck right off

I know this isn't socially acceptable to hate, but damned if those cashiers don't try to make it feel thus: signing up for your goddam Rewards Program. (I won't)

I don't really like any horror that goes harder than, like, Hammer...this is not socially unacceptable in general, but kinda amongst the cinephiles I hang out with? Always assumed to be elitism and not just me being a wuss.

see either a tuneless child or a genuine odd weirdo playing some discordant nonsense.

There should be a thread for things that most people find annoying but that you find enjoyable, because I always enjoy some 5 year old randomly tapping keys on a piano in public

i'm with daniel_rf on horror. i don't like really violent or scary stuff! i've gotten more fragile with age on that one. i don't hate it, i'll just avoid it at all costs. it just makes certain topics unavailable to me.

people that hate mashed potatoes

The weird thing about horror/violence in movies for me is that I don't really mind it in most horror movies because the violence is actually presented as something that is horrific, but it bothers me a lot in action or superhero movies because there are regularly acts of violence where sometimes hundreds of people die and it's always just glossed over like it doesn't matter. Like, this is years ago but I remember going to the movies with my son to watch guardians of the galaxy 2 and there is a scene in there where I guess what is supposed to be the good guys in that movie just go through a ship and kill every person on board while some 70s rock track was playing and it made me feel really uncomfortable and I was wondering why I was exposing my son to this kind of stuff.

I'm getting more intolerant of violence as I age.

Or Star Wars movies where there is cognitive dissonance between the established expectations of a Star Wars Movie (battles, explosions, mass death) and the trajectory of the films being huge hits with kids, so now to cater to both at once you have: [person slaughtering soldiers successfully]: "YEEEEEHAAAWWWW!!" :D

I love supernatural/folk horror, don't bother with any cruelty/slasher stuff (Saw, etc.)

Hate most violence in films, kind of gobsmacked by just how violent films are these days tbh.

Also, one for Scottish ILXors, "Flower of Scotland".

I have a very high tolerance for graphic violence/gore, but a movie like Funny Games, where nothing is actually shown, really freaks me out.

Tom, you're cooked now.

Sorry to continue exercise discourse but: I kind of share that thing where abstracted intentional "exercise" can feel a tiny bit absurd, and you sort of wish you could be doing a real activity instead? Moving a bunch of heavy boxes would trigger some level of motivation/satisfaction stuff for me, there's a concrete task; lifting the same amount as an isolated exercise just makes me dwell on how I could, like, stop. This is the main point of all those gamified and networked exercise machines, right? They 100% work on me — I'll go all-out to win an imaginary race on a rower just because I hate the next guy's screen name.

Anyway it seems fair to look at the past 80 years or whatever and say, okay, some big changes are: (1) people do way less moving around for everyday-life non-exercise reasons, because we've mechanized loads of physical tasks and made sitting in one place infinitely less boring, (2) in many cases it's become harder to work physical stuff into your life even if you're trying to, and (3) at some point it became abundantly clear that a lot of the people dropping dead in their 50s didn't actually need to, and medical advances combined with pretty simple lifestyle changes could probably avoid a ton of that, so unless you have a real rough-life fatalism about dying when you die you should probably just work out like they recommend. So we keep developing more and more of this purpose-built category of abstracted "exercise" to fill in the stuff that's receding from everyday life (which in turn lets non-physical stuff like answering work emails crowd out even more hours). Almost every doctor quoted in every article about exercise says stuff about working it into your everyday life by taking the stairs or doing social sports with friends or whatever — there is a constant consensus recommendation about breaking down this division between purposeful exercise and the rest of existence! — but it is clearly not easy to do.

In other news I agree about hating when cars "politely" give up their right of way to let you go first; it just makes everything slower, more confusing, and less efficient. The other day I was backing out of a driveway and the only car on the street stopped to let me out. Just go past! There's nobody behind you! You are going out of your way to make this situation slightly worse for everyone involved! Same with cars lingering forever at a stop sign so you can get there and cross: if nobody's behind you, I'd rather use an empty crosswalk than pass two feet in front of your grille, keenly aware that your foot on the brake is the only thing between me and a real problem.

Oh I can't really get on a high horse when it comes to the violence, I don't mind it much in action or gangster films at all. Or martial arts films but there I do think there's a difference, it's closer to dancing than to a brutal beatdown.

I also dislike the modern blockbuster approach where millions die and it's nbd, but it doesn't give me any emotional charge - usually the movies where this happens already feel so disconnected from any kind of reality that it barely registers. On an intellectual level though I do think it's interesting that whenever shit like that happens in MCU movies and the like, the fallout is never about the many who have lost family and friends but about the trauma suffered by the hero, who is often responsible for what happened to some extent. Very fitting for a country whose wars now impact on it mostly via soldiers with PTSD coming home.

I would say some horror violence is horrific, but there is absolutely also an element of pleasure in a lot of it, slashers and giallo especially, people love discussing their favourite kills. Sometimes this also just ends up being about practical effects geeks enjoying the craft, which I have a lot of respect for. Just not for me.

xp yeah, I cannot stand when cars stop at an intersection (when they have a green light) to let you cross, and then get mad at you when you don't. Like, thanks for stopping pal, but do you think the cars coming the opposite way are gonna extend me the same courtesy? Or is that not your problem?

karaoke

I relate to horror, though I'm not sure I'd say I hate the genre (I avoid it but I don't feel loathing toward it) so much as how dominant it has become.

I have arrived on foot to intersections, seen the courtesy confusion thing about to happen and pulled out my phone and turned my back to the road to avoid having to deal with this.

xp yeah, I cannot stand when cars stop at an intersection (when they have a green light) to let you cross, and then get mad at you when you don't. Like, thanks for stopping pal, but do you think the cars coming the opposite way are gonna extend me the same courtesy? Or is that not your problem?

― henry s, Wednesday, 19 November 2025 19:13 (twenty minutes ago)

I've gotten very skilled at acting as if I'm not about to cross the street or at least not paying attention in general to dissuade them from that behavior.

I use the same tactics to avoid being stalked for my parking space because I hate feeling rushed or worse creating a situation that delays multiple cars behind the one stalking me.

Consists of body language meant to make it appear as if I'm just standing around obliviously / not actually going anywhere OR if that's too hard to sell then oh gosh gee wiz, something concerning just popped up on my phone and I am going to stand here and'll be busy dealing with it for who knows how long... better not wait on me!

the band Soundgarden

Jam rock.

xp when I'm returning to my car in a congested parking lot, I will walk down a different lane until the last second and then abruptly cut over to my car to avoid getting honked at by a lurker for taking my sweet time buckling up, checking my phone, getting a good station tuned in, etc. This was especially useful in the days when cars had CD players, and I was on my way out of the record store and needed time to open the CD, maybe read some of the liner notes before I placed it in.

I exercise because i need to build up bone density and because my natural state is sitting on my arse. but am I the only person who doesn't get "endorphins" from it? I count down the minutes till the end and yes I do feel happy that I accomplished it and I can go and do something else now but I don't think that's what people are talking about?

NB: The generic thread of hating stuff regardless of what society thinks would be We Love (To Hate) Everything

I agree with a lot in this thread: coffee, pancakes, whistling, puns like 'pawrents' and pets-as-children fawning, exercise (which I do anyway, grudgingly)

I don't hate mashed potatoes but they are probably my least favourite way to consume potatoes

I hate most biscuits (as in hard cookie-like entities) and I don't like English-style tea, so I'm a real joy to encounter during the office tea round

I also really don't like You Can Call Me Al

but am I the only person who doesn't get "endorphins" from it? I count down the minutes till the end and yes I do feel happy that I accomplished it and I can go and do something else now but I don't think that's what people are talking about?

You are not the only one, this is exactly how I feel

A shark walks down the street

A street in a strange world

it's why I'm soft in the middle

I also never get an endorphin rush from exercise. I have felt absolutely miserable after exercising before, but never notably good

Almost every doctor quoted in every article about exercise says stuff about working it into your everyday life by taking the stairs or doing social sports with friends or whatever — there is a constant consensus recommendation about breaking down this division between purposeful exercise and the rest of existence! — but it is clearly not easy to do.

nabisco your whole post has a lot to chew on, and it gets at something about exercise that has always weirded me out. on the one hand, it's very elemental - you are moving your body in challenging ways - what is more fundamental than that? we all have bodies whether we like it or not and sort of maxing out what they can do seems like a pretty standard issue activity. kids do this as they're developing and i think in some sense doing it when you're older can connect you to that feeling. but it's also a very abstracted thing, like you point out. a lot of the programming you'll encounter is based on measurements and statistics and, as others have noted, national health recommendations. there is probably even more programming out there based on aesthetics and what ideal bodies look like. that whole force behind exercise is rooted in some kind of libidinal dream that shifts and refracts depending on the year and the social moods and when looked at a certain way is kind of the ultimate self-indulgent activity with no "objective" outcome--no walls built, no ditches dug, no fields plowed, that sort of thing. the feeling of doing exercise, for me, can kind of emphasize the elemental nature of who i am - there's an earthiness and a beastliness to it. i think one of the things about exercise that can feel good to a lot of people is the active-ness of it, the assertiveness. it almost invites people to start imagining or maybe romanticizing a more elemental, physical existence. but the irony here is that the "fitness lifestyle" is only made possible by some of the most cutting edge elements of modern society, complicated systems of production that support all kinds of refinements - exercise equipment, specialized nutrition products, biotechnology, etc.

Ha ha seeing the words 'office tea round' made me realise I do hate that whole concept. And just being offered tea at work, which a few colleagues have done in different places over the years, and even tho I'd said no thanks a few days in a row they just kept offering day after day for quite a while after. What a nice thing for them to do. That I hate. It was never coffee maybe that's why.

It's true that adults on average probably move less during the day than 100 years ago. But also people 100 years ago weren't very healthy either. It's not like factory or farming jobs give you a well-rounded workout, they're more likely to give you repetitive stress injuries and ripped up joints. So I think fitness/exercise is not only replacing movement we have lost, it's also being much more aware of our bodies. We know a lot more about what happens as bodies grow and age, and how to take care of them along the way.

I liked hiking and playing tennis in my 20s but wasn't an avid exerciser per se, and had little time for it in my 30s for domestic reasons. The big breakthrough was starting to do some yoga in my 40s, which was great both in itself and also for the way it made me more aware of my whole body right at a time when it was good to pay attention to wear and tear. These days I've gotten very into both cardio and some strength work, from the perspective of appreciating that I still have a body that works pretty well and it feels good to take care of it. I don't know that I get endorphins per se, but I can certainly get into grooves that feel good. Music helps obviously.

My objection to the fitness industrial complex is a hatred of the verb work out and the noun workout because they contain the word WORK and imply some sort of puritanical or quasi xtian obsession with the redeeming qualities of work.
Exercise is fine, exercising is good and needed not bad and hated
But I hate workouts and working out.

i think gyms are gross but i could totally see myself getting addicted to lifting weights if they just appeared in my apartment one day.

It's true that adults on average probably move less during the day than 100 years ago. But also people 100 years ago weren't very healthy either.

like half of the people currently on this board will have been dead of old age in 1925

Like, this is years ago but I remember going to the movies with my son to watch guardians of the galaxy 2 and there is a scene in there where I guess what is supposed to be the good guys in that movie just go through a ship and kill every person on board while some 70s rock track was playing and it made me feel really uncomfortable and I was wondering why I was exposing my son to this kind of stuff.

― silverfish, Wednesday, November 19, 2025 12:40 PM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Thank you, I had the exact same reaction. I vividly remembering hating that scene.

i think gyms are gross but i could totally see myself getting addicted to lifting weights if they just appeared in my apartment one day.

As someone who bought some dumbbells and a kettlebell and now opens the closet and looks at them every once in a while before going back to working on his laptop... not so much.

theres a really great scene in the first Austin Powers movie about that kind of violence but I think it was actually cut from the theatrical version

XP: I have some dumbbells I use every evening before bed (loaded to a modest 10kg or something at present) but I do admittedly have the not inconsiderable incentive of remembering what a frozen shoulder is like. (ie. nightmarish.) If I hadn't picked up the habit amidst legit 'rehab' I'm not sure I would tolerate seeing the wretched things every friggin' day.

I hate internet pile-ons because the first people to arrive are the ones acting in good faith, the other 97% that arrive later are usually there for the thrill of eviscerating someone.

Yeah and they think we don’t remember who they are — the sharks that circle when they smell blood in the water

ll - it suits me better to think of it as work I need to do rather than a "fun-out" or something!

The smell of weed. I think legalizing it was the right thing to do. But must it smell so strong? There are parts of downtown DC where the smell is almost visible.

I think most non weed smokers agree with you there, my wife breathed a sigh of relief when I switched to oils and edibles (which nonetheless still smell a bit!).

i've always been of the strong inclination that if something doesn't engage me, interest me, or i otherwise can't enjoy it, i'm just not going to do it. with things that i wouldn't do of my own accord, the trick for me is always - how can i do this in a way that i enjoy it? i feel like generally speaking that has involved sinking into the presence and flow of the act itself, the sensation of it, letting my thoughts about it evaporate. with doing the dishes, for instance, i used to approach them with the thought "i hate doing this and i want to get it over with as soon as possible" and i would rush through it and feel miserable. lately though i find myself just doing them and not really feeling any type of way about it, just noticing how it feels as i make each motion. i'm noticing bits of pleasure in the present experience of the actions themselves.

map, been thinking of this post and it is without a doubt a correct and admirable way to go through life but also reading your post I feel like the daughter in this story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5NAEC9GVko

argh that didn't work out. Start around 1:57.

That is excellent. Pete Holmes's daughter otm.

I tell you something else I don't like, and it is in fact one of the things that eventually persuaded me to see a psychologist and get a confirmation of neurodivergence: I absolutely hate surprises. Of any kind. Just don't. I realised that this might be a thing that runs in my family when a younger family member was presented with a surprise that would, by normal social standards, be considered awesome, and they had such a meltdown over it that they ended up not even being able to do the surprise because it was all so awful. So yeah, surprises are terrible. I particularly hate that trope in television programmes of people planning a surprise birthday party for someone and pretending they forgot the birthday completely, so that they spend all day being mean and offhand to the person, and then that person is expected to be delighted that there's a party happening that they never got the chance to anticipate and get excited about? Fuck that.

I realise people don't do that in real life, but surprise parties are the absolute worst. Do not attempt.

with things that i wouldn't do of my own accord, the trick for me is always - how can i do this in a way that i enjoy it? i feel like generally speaking that has involved sinking into the presence and flow of the act itself, the sensation of it, letting my thoughts about it evaporate. with doing the dishes, for instance, i used to approach them with the thought "i hate doing this and i want to get it over with as soon as possible" and i would rush through it and feel miserable. lately though i find myself just doing them and not really feeling any type of way about it, just noticing how it feels as i make each motion. i'm noticing bits of pleasure in the present experience of the actions themselves.

is it socially acceptable to hate pete holmes? cause i hate pete holmes

This is ilx, hating any and all comedians is always enthusiastically approved of on here in my experience.

I've been to a real surprise party, so they do happen, for me the problem is that I need to shift gears to different social situations and that would be like going from 1st straight to 5th

The gear shifting has gotten easier as I've aged though.

I particularly hate that trope in television programmes of people planning a surprise birthday party for someone and pretending they forgot the birthday completely, so that they spend all day being mean and offhand to the person, and then that person is expected to be delighted that there's a party happening that they never got the chance to anticipate and get excited about? Fuck that.

this actually happened to us - we didn't pretend to forget but acted like nothing special was happening, so they got the hump and went off alone - leaving their phone behind! - so when it came to go to the restaurant we'd booked we had no idea where they where. and y'know they were and you are otm.

xp it has got a lot easier now I'm on zoloft

I particularly hate that trope in television programmes of people planning a surprise birthday party for someone and pretending they forgot the birthday completely, so that they spend all day being mean and offhand to the person, and then that person is expected to be delighted that there's a party happening that they never got the chance to anticipate and get excited about?

yes!!! this!!! this is also why I hate April Fool's Day btw

I realise people don't do that in real life, but surprise parties are the absolute worst. Do not attempt.

― trishyb, Thursday, November 20, 2025 7:54 AM bookmarkflaglink

i've been a part of 2, but both of them were 20-30 years ago. tbh I'm such an independent minded person that if someone threw me one I'd feel annoyed that I'm now hostage to those plans for hours and that my night has been planned for me with zero input from me, and I probably already made other plans.

fuck, i hate surprises.

they always strike me as such a reversal of any occasion that is meant to consider the person surprised.

I'm fully allergic

Wnen i was 6 I waited for a kid to come out if the bathroom so I could scream at him and scare him. It worked.

Hope he's still alive

seconding weed smell. i'm not anti-weed (tho i don't partake frequently at all) but i find the smell of it in public kind of annoying, esp. on public transit.

i was the recipient of a surprise party once and it was...startling, but it also felt nice that so many people were thinking of me.

Wnen i was 6 I waited for a kid to come out if the bathroom so I could scream at him and scare him. It worked.

Hope he's still alive

― Edward Albee Sure (Neanderthal),

https://i.imgur.com/VPSuOw7.gif

football

Wnen i was 6 I waited for a kid to come out if the bathroom so I could scream at him and scare him. It worked.

I did this when I was 8 except that I didn't realise one of the teachers was also using the washroom so I jump-scared her instead of my classmate

She was not amused

I was mildly terrified of repercussions (there were none) but also delighted bc I really didn't like that teacher

I got involved in an epic surprise party for my best friend, which was especially hard to prepare because he’s a Leap Year Guy (birthday only once every four year). I started a month out by telling him my relationship was in trouble, and we had a few coffees and meals where I spoke of jealousy regarding an affair the bf was having with a dude in NYC. It escalated to “my bf has left me” on the literal day of his birthday, and me begging him to come meet me at a bar, where I feigned drunk and cried and then told him I needed to unwind and proposed we go to the local DIY club (which was prepped with HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE graffiti on the walls and the complete edition of our entire friend group)

I trundled up the stairs and even faked a stumble and we went in and the smoke machine was on and about 80 people emerged and screamed felicitations at him and my bf was right there and Steve bellowed “WAIT YOU’RE NOT IN NEW YORK” and he spun around to me cackling and he bellowed “AND YOU’RE NOT DRUNK” and he shoved me, hard, in furious anger, and we to this day delight in the memory of all of this

i think half this thread just passed out

My dad threw a surprise party for my mum's 50th. It's sort of funny he could even imagine she would have enjoyed it as it's so clearly not suited to her personality. Can still remember her face. Tho I think she enjoyed the evening after the horrible first bit.

good to see the brendans try tho

lol

Surprise birthday parties are super bizarre to me - if the person's not organising something themselves, surely it is to be assumed that a) they don't want a party and we should respect that or b) they are blatantly fishing for a surprise party, and in that case does it even still count as a surprise?

I assume there's a medium there where they won't or didn't organise one, but would actually really enjoy it. For whatever reasons. Like one example is when people live far from home or whatever.

Yeah, loads of people don't want the hassle of organising a party themselves, but would love someone else to do it. I've organised a few parties for my parents in recent years, and they always really appreciate it. (I guess it helps that I know them well.) I know I've told this story before, but one of the best parties I ever organised was my own 50th birthday weekend. On the Friday night I hosted a pub quiz. Got to get rid of a load of unwanted presents out of my house as spot prizes, raised money for charity, didn't have to "do the rounds" at a party, didn't have to worry about people mingling, absolutely great night, would recommend.

I once conspired with a group of friends to have a Gorilla Gram surprise another of our friends on his birthday at his office. He was neither thrilled nor gracious about it.

I've often considered getting an ape-o-gram for a friend (any friend). I can see though that it's probably more amusing to send an ape than to unexpectedly receive an ape.

thats when you find out who your real primates are

I think before the “Information Age” when “stuff” would “happen” more slowly and less frequently, things like surprise birthday parties were probably cool joyful community fostering diversions, but maybe people didn’t even have birthday parties until the 50s idk

One of my exes was kind of fixated on the idea of surprise parties, she said multiple times that she'd never had one and thought they would be fun. So me taking the hint, at her next birthday I organized one. I never would have done it otherwise, nothing about the idea particularly appealed to me, but she had this idea that it was a fun experience she would like to have. Somewhat to my own surprise I was able to actually organize and coordinate the entire thing without her having any idea. She thought we were going to pick up a couple friends to go to a low-key dinner. Instead we walked into this clubhouse where there were like 30 of her friends. She was not just surprised but kind of went into a social shock at suddenly being surrounded by all these people she didn't expect to see. She ended up having a great time once she adjusted, and it was a good party, but afterward she was like, "Thanks but I don't think I ever need that again."

The cutest version of a surprise party I've ever seen was a Tiktok of a couple going to Costco on his birthday, ostensibly just to go grocery shopping, and she had arranged with their friends to "accidentally run into" them while shopping, so they just kept delightfully! greeting and being charmed by running into their bffs! Coincidentally! What a day! And then at the end he slowly was like...wait a second...this is a lot of people...and then they had pizza in the food court to celebrate. Nothing abrupt or shocking, just the joy of friends and being loved by someone enough to craft such a sweet experience.

xp Yeah I don't think I would enjoy it at all.
I have been at a sort-of one, where a friend invited a handful of people that lived way out of town (us included) to her partner's birthday which was going to be low-key. It was still just a bunch of people drinking at their flat, but included people he hadn't seen for years, so was really nice. And yes we did jump out and shout 'Surprise!'

the first time I ever did one was for a kid on my baseball team and he walks in and he says "I see that" because we all did such a shitty attempt at hiding.

that Costco story IS really sweet but I would hate to be actually filmed for that. I kind of hate the social media “see this dad surprise his daughter coming home from tour of duty”, it just feels like a weirdly voyeuristic violation of someone’s natural emotional reaction? Maybe I’m just concern trolling here. There was this thing that went viral years ago where a dad surprised his son with tickets to a baseball game, and the kid was crying so much it sounded like he was going through trauma. I don’t like that.

It's rather like proposing marriage on the JumboTron.

You should know if the intended recipient is the sort of person who will respond well to it.

If you're not certain, please just don't.

public marriage proposals without prior discussion of *getting married* is the shit that sets me off. if you've at least talked about getting married and it's a question of 'when' and not 'if', you at least have to make sure your partner is ok with being a part of spectacle. which many won't be, and understandably so - it's not for everyone.

but when you thrust them into spectacle as a complete out of nowhere surprise, now your partner is pressured into answering "yes" or risk being vilified and humiliated in public. which, btw, happened at Halloween Horror Nights about 13 years ago, when one of the people who worked there announced a 'failed proposal'. and all anybody was doing in the aftermath was calling her heartless instead of questioning the quality of the guy's poor understanding of what their relationship was and his own terrible selfish judgment.

My best friend proposed to his now wife at Hollywood Studios last year and they rehearsed the surprise.

note to actors - that would be a terrible time to ad-lib

(btw by 'public' i realize all proposals happen in public, I mean like....where strangers are involved, like at a public event or aforementioned jumbotron)

I need a grudgingly admiring 'tut and grumble like Jim Royle' button for Darragh's post.

yeah i like the vibe of the costco story and think it's really sweet but i'm glad other people do this sort of thing on socials and i don't. also i fckin hate costco haha. the public marriage proposal thing is crazy. definitely always feel like "these are people are the polar opposite of me" whenever i see them haha.

Costco was this guy's favorite place :)

takes all kinds mmhmmm

i attended a coworkers surprise birthday once and we were out the back of this multibar setup but the queue for the pints was stupid so me and the boss snuck in to the side bar and of fucking course we timed it perfectly to run into her as her husband brought her in and she had to pretend not to see us in order not to spoil the non surprise which she was obviously already aware of

excruciating

i think feeling neutral-to-very-negative about surprise birthday parties is the correct opinion, but i really loved the one my friend chloe threw me in 2019; she took me to my favorite restaurant while all my other friends let themselves clandestinely into my apartment and decorated my house with purple streamers (the party was more than a little prince-themed). then we all just watched bad movies on my couch and talked and laughed a lot

the best way to throw a surprise birthday party is to throw it on a day that isn't the person's birthday, like 6 months before or after.

they'll never see it coming

lol. fuckin surprise, it's not your birthday!

a friend's girlfriend did ....something like that once. he was a local actor and his name, I'll call him Mark for the story....his girlfriend told us Mark was very down lately and she wanted to throw him a surprise "Mark Day" party where everybody shares their favorite Mark memories.

he was so very confused when he saw all of us yell 'surprise' because he didn't know what the fuck it was for. his girlfriend had to explain the concept for 5 minutes to him sotto voce. and he played along but he was clearly feeling very awkward. though he appreciated what she was trying to do.

In the distant past I knew a woman with four young kids who said she didn't tell them their birthdays. She just picked a day when nobody was sick and said "It's your birthday!"

"i'm 7"
"but you were born 15 years ago"
"what can i tell you, I've only celebrated 7 birthdays"

I kind of hate the social media “see this dad surprise his daughter coming home from tour of duty”

Speaking of things not socially acceptable to hate, at least in mixed company, I hate all of that manipulative military viral video shit so so so much. Along with every other bit of honor-the-troops propaganda. Just so noxious. See also: viral videos of police departments doing "fun" theatrical routines or anything else intended to warm-and-fuzzy-up the police state.

Oh I hate those phony videos where a dad films their kid and shows them, IDK, a dial telephone or a slide projector or an old Nokia mobile phone and the kid is like 'Wait! What is this? I've never seen such a thing!"

Like I knew what a telegraph machine was long after they were out of regular use, or a steam locomotive or whatever... I ain't buying this horseshit

xp yeah i hate that stuff. it's pretty socially acceptable to feel that way in my friend group though, thankfully. tears of gratitude for the heroic soldier. bull shito. one of the hippie positions i can get with every time.

the only good reels are cat reels. we truly live in a golden era of cat appreciation.

_I kind of hate the social media “see this dad surprise his daughter coming home from tour of duty”_

Speaking of things not socially acceptable to hate, at least in mixed company, I hate all of that manipulative military viral video shit so so so much. Along with every other bit of honor-the-troops propaganda. Just so noxious. See also: viral videos of police departments doing "fun" theatrical routines or anything else intended to warm-and-fuzzy-up the police state.

I deliberately park in the “Veteran Parking Only” spots at my local Harris Teeter. Be assured they are NOT the same as handicapped spaces, I’m not a monster. I hate troop fellating like priority boarding on airplanes, etc. It’s like 1910 Prussia here.

Not a surprise party story, but a long while back a friend threw an absolutely colossal 40th birthday party. He’d done pretty well for himself and was basically saying I’m unlikely ever to have a wedding to throw a big party for. We (his friends) surprised him by booking his favourite folk singer to come and perform.

Turns out booking your mate’s favourite folk act is not all that expensive.

I remember years ago you could book Quiet Riot to play your party for like $500.. they were cheap

i'm not necessarily opposed to troop fellating in a literal sense, just gotta make that clear.

Heh!

I mean, we all like Beau Travail.

I knew what a telegraph machine was long after they were out of regular use, or a steam locomotive or whatever..

Yeah growing up in Virginia 95% of field trip and vacation content is rug beaters, bed warmers, wax seals, drop spindles, and that stupid ball-in-a-cup toy. My family owned a butter churn.

Ye Olde Tour Guide in 200 years: "who can tell me what this was used for?" (Holds up a selfie stick)

'wait people didn't have cerebral communicators embedded in their necks?'

My best friend proposed to his now wife at Hollywood Studios last year and they rehearsed the surprise.

Please say it was on Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem

how'd you know

if it was on Tower of Terror as the drop happened, might have accidentally gotten a No

I'm a week late but:

I really do not enjoy Xmas, and when I started with my current work team I explicitly said I would not be taking part in Secret Santa (I'm not spending £10 and an afternoon buying someone I barely know some trinket crap so I can receive the same) you'd think I'd told them I kidnap and shoot dogs with pellets for fun.

I don't like animals around me, but what I really hate is the expectation that animals should be welcome everywhere. No, you do not have to bring your dog to a shopping centre, they probably dislike it as much as I do.

UK-centric: Children In Need and Comic Relief. Not just always unfunny and irritating, but always involving people with the money to actually make a difference not using it.

UK-centric - Lily Allen and Cheryl Cole: the nation's sweethearts. I guess we live in a nation of racists. (I liked the first Lily Allen album but in the context of all the awful things she's done since, I don't have the desire to hear from her ever again)

Video content in general on my phone. I don't want to have to pause the TV or turn off my music to hear someone explain something to me that I would prefer to read.

is there a thread for the opposite of this, thing you love that are not socially acceptable to love?

agree re reading vs videos.

Yeah I have no tolerance for sitting through informative videos... provide a transcript!

the only good reels are cat reels. we truly live in a golden era of cat appreciation.

So true. My algorithms are all cat-pilled.

Not sure if this belongs in the ND thread, but #onethread I guess. I used to hate it when people tried to help me when I didn't think I needed help. The worst was when my shoelaces had become untied, like they always did, and someone would stop me to say "do you know your laces are untied?" - I would be absolutely fuming at them for this but would have to calmly thank them for telling me and tie them again, 99% of the time I knew they were untied and was planning on re-tying them at some unspecified later time. This does not happen any more, I'm glad to say, because I keep them firmly tied, but I got a small flash of it today when a bloke in the supermarket told me my bread was open, because I knew very well that it was open and nothing bad was about to happen because it was open, he seemed to think it was going to fall on the floor somehow. But I do not really understand why this was such an annoyance, and not having a reason always makes it worse because it means I know only I am to blame.

Tbf I still find shit like that infantilizing.

a bloke in the supermarket told me my bread was open, because I knew very well that it was open and nothing bad was about to happen because it was open, he seemed to think it was going to fall on the floor somehow

is 'bread' a UK term for zipper?

Also it's like I had untied laces every day and had never once tripped or even had them catch in anything, but these people seemed convinced that I was about to fall into the road or something.

Once some guy pretended to jump me on the street in brooklyn, grabbed me by the collar and yelled “rawrrr!” I pushed him back and said something like “what is your fucking problem?” And he said he was trying to help me, “you’ve gotta look alive out her son. There’s killers out here. Gotta keep ya head up.” Then he walked away.

Didn’t like this interaction at all.

xxp no actual bread, they have this bread slicing machine in the supermarket, but you have to open the bread packet to put the bread in.

xp are you sure you weren't on some shit hidden camera show?

I don’t think so. At first I thought this guy was mentally ill but when I yelled back at him he acted very sober. The claim he wanted to help me seemed like he was making a post hoc rationalization.

I'd give the guy 0.5/5 on rateyourinteraction dot com

protect (you're next)

I would prefer when I sneeze that people not point it out, even in the interests of saving me from eternal damnation or whatever

Things you hate that are not socially acceptable to hate: Costco

(I don't really hate Costco, I care little about it... but I hate people going on about it)

what is the response to "bless you"? "Thank you" I guess but I like to say "you too" as they should also be blessed if I'm getting blessed.

My backup glasses are aviators and I strongly dislike when I wear them and people say I look like Jeffrey Dahmer. Why not Hunter S Thompson? David Berman? Or, idk, Gloria Steinem?

Closest thing I have to Treeships story was a guy who followed me for 10 blocks to tell me God loved me abd he saw what I was going through.

Weirdly despite being an Atheist and it being creepy to be followed for 10 blocks i wasn't angry about it.

he followed you for 10 blocks but god is following you forever

I really, really can’t stand when people start doing math out loud. When the cheque arrives and somebody says “what’s 20% of $54? Ummm $10.40? No no, it’s $10.80. Right ok so we add $10.80 to $54 and it’s…. $64.80, then we divide that by three and we owe… $21.60 each. Right?” Do it in your head, or on paper, or on a calculator, I just can’t deal with math done verbally, and I don’t know why it is the case

Sounds like that was Jesus, bro.

My guy wasn’t.

But as I looked more closely,
I saw that for the most difficult and painful memories in my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
Turning to the Lord, I said,
“Lord, when I needed you the most, why did you leave me?”

And you might know what God said back.
God says back, “those were the moments you started farting and I had to peace"

I do hate "Bless you". I sneezed. It's an involuntary human function. I don't need you to comment or give me your blessing, just ignore me while I find a tissue

Real talk tho if a motherfucker tackled me in the street...wtf

Also door to door and street corner solicitation for good causes that I would donate to in a second if the outreach wasn’t so intrusive and guilt-inducing when you demur because you’re actually on the phone or late or need to pee or walking a park-promised dog

"Bless You" seems to be fading though yeah? Kind of an Olde World expression

I always snap at people. “Quiet!”

I say “bless you” in place of “thank you” when I’m very, very grateful and taken aback by somebody’s kindness. Not affectatious, a genuine response

I really dislike the vast majority of UK TV these days. Bake Off, Would I Lie To You, Strictly, fucking Gogglebox. Even Traitors and Taskmaster. There's just this depressing aura about these endless panel shows, talent contests, celebrity voidholes and reality shows that makes me despair way more than I should. I especially dislike things like Gogglebox where "normal" people are represented as twerps and simpletons. Also any media that takes a condescending London-centric view of the rest of the country

Xp, "bless you" in a "wow i'm really grateful, you are amazing!" way is okay. I just don't need people to say it after I sneezed

It’s an early symptom of bubonic plague. They are praying for your divine protection.

we've veering pretty close to Jerry Seinfeldisms: "What's the deal with waitresses calling everyone 'honey'?"

Step Into Christmas is kind fo rubbish too. Not actively annoying, but weak-sauce

I do like a lot of the trappings of Xmas but we should really go back to Dickens gift giving where everyone's like "Mummy! A new kerchief! It's just what I fancied!"
A friend gave me a dishtowel last year and I was stoked, that's all I need.. just like really, really meager gifts should be the norm

dl i’m with you on uk tv it’s dire

It might be a cliche to say UKTV is rubbish, but I do think it's socially unacceptable to say that Traitors or Gogglebox are anything less than fantastic, or not to get excited about the new season if Bake Off, or to say that panel shows are a waste of talent, or that I really really really don't care about z-listers making a mockery of themselves

*apologies for all my typos btw. I blame my fat fingers, slow phone and failing eyesight

To provide balance: The only show of this kind that I was pleasantly surprised by was Race Across The World. Everyone on it was pleasant, relatable and didn't feel like they'd been picked by a bunch of braying TV execs for their oikiness. It was a genuinely good watch.

have arrived on foot to intersections, seen the courtesy confusion thing about to happen and pulled out my phone and turned my back to the road to avoid having to deal with this.
― rob, Wednesday, November 19, 2025 2:23 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

I've gotten very skilled at acting as if I'm not about to cross the street or at least not paying attention in general to dissuade them from that behavior.
― Evan, Wednesday, November 19, 2025 2:51 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

I thought I invented this trick

adding: I hate when well-meaning people give me directions when I am leaving a place. It's especially weird when it's someone under 50 who I guess doesn't remember that we all have interactive maps in our pockets at all times and GPS is a feature in every car manufactured in the last 20 years. Also I am never going to remember more than two directions or the numerals of more than zero interstates. Like, look, Magellan, how the fuck do you think I got here?

Even worse: Directions that involve trees or number of blocks.

And these people never seem to remember the names of roads.

re: UK TV - what is this country's obsession with Alison Hammond? Her ascent to the upper ranks of celebrity host is truly bewildering to me

also the Stacey Solomun and Joe Swash thing. They're a pair of idiots who I wouldn't trust to find a fire exit in a crisis and yet they have multiple TV shows and their own furniture range. I said something similar in front of some folk at work and they reacted like I said I want to pull the limbs off babies.

Weirdly, Stacey Solomon identifies as lefty and is a comrade.

I like how this is just the Irrationally Angry thread part 3

I would prefer when I sneeze that people not point it out, even in the interests of saving me from eternal damnation or whatever

Yes good one, I never want this. Maybe a "Gesundheit" is OK.

I refer you to my post of Tuesday last

cu,lt

Learned years ago from a book on manners that one should ignore (ie. not draw attention to) other peoples' sneezes etc.

I sneeze at least once a day (perennial rhinitis) and people I work with soon learn to stop saying "bless you" - apart from a few who I eventually have to ask not to.

I like how this is just the Irrationally Angry thread part 3

― Now read it backwards. (dog latin), Saturday, November 22, 2025 5:05 AM bookmarkflaglink

Irrationally Angry thread already has a Part 3! But humorously nobody locked the Part 2 thread so it gets bumped too

Grr, I hate that. (not really.)

Once some guy pretended to jump me on the street in brooklyn, grabbed me by the collar and yelled “rawrrr!” I pushed him back and said something like “what is your fucking problem?” And he said he was trying to help me, “you’ve gotta look alive out her son. There’s killers out here. Gotta keep ya head up.” Then he walked away.

sounds like he may have been assessing your suitability for mugging, if you'd responded less assertively he might have tried to rob you

playing it off as he did afterwards = didn't want to get his ass kicked

I think you handled it well

Saying something after someone sneezes is second nature to me from an early age and I didn’t know there were so many of you out there who hate it!

I always thought the origin of it is not necessarily saving someone’s soul but giving them a blessing so that the sneeze doesn’t mean you have the plague or whatever. Of course if you think about it it’s kind of ridiculous because we don’t do it for people who cough.

I worked with a guy who had one of those sound effects machines in his desk, and whenever somebody would sneeze he'd queue up some wacky noise, usually the sad trombone womp womp one. Wasn't annoying at all, was quite funny and relieved the rest of us from having to say "bless you" or whatever.

Most people in my family seem to sneeze in threes, getting progressively louder, so the remarks go "bless you," "oh my god, bless you again" "fuck's sake, now you're just showing off."

It's interesting how pretty much the same custom is used across cultures:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Response_to_sneezing

Most people in my family seem to sneeze in threes, getting progressively louder, so the remarks go "bless you," "oh my god, bless you again" "fuck's sake, now you're just showing off."

My mom will sneeze continuously for about thirty seconds to a minute on end, no kidding, so we wait until she’s done.

Xpost That's because at the Tower of Babel, God gave everyone an allergy attack to slow their progress

And in my mom’s case a blessing feels appropriate since there are times we worry she won’t ever stop.

I worked with a guy who had one of those sound effects machines in his desk, and whenever somebody would sneeze he'd queue up some wacky noise, usually the sad trombone womp womp one. Wasn't annoying at all, was quite funny and relieved the rest of us from having to say "bless you" or whatever.

I haven’t used it for this purpose, but I highly recommend the iPhone app “Ham Horn.”

pretty much the same custom is used across cultures

In many cultures breath = soul, so a violent expulsion of breath is a moment of danger.

Yeah I mean obviously this is the thread for it but the hatred of someone saying something after a sneeze is just absolutely wild to me.

what do you like about it?

*sneeze*

"Fuck you."

Absolutely wild

“absolutely wild” meaning shocking.

you sure do judge a lot

Like, it’s completely innocent, I just don’t understand the level of disdain. It seems deeply misanthropic and weird

if you’re curious why it might make people uncomfortable, read the thread first, might make it less “shocking” for you

Oh sure, I’m the judgmental one for not understanding how some people don’t like and in fact actively hate when people perform a verbal politeness toward them. It’s me that’s the problem.

I did read the thread, and the reasons don’t make any sense

Also tho, “shocking” and “wild” aren’t necessarily pejorative. I am literally shocked that people can get so worked up about something!

If you sneeze and somebody says "bless you", you're kinda on the hook to say something back, like "thanks", which is sometimes awkward to do if you need to be also dealing with a large amount of snot now hanging out of your nose.

I feel like a heel if I *don’t* say something to someone who’s just sneezed.

lol barely a day goes by in my office without multiple shouts of "bless you" to one another

I feel like a heel if I *don’t* say something to someone who’s just sneezed.

yeah, same.

Like I can absorb a bit or two in a clip. But a whole “comedy special” is getting fed a bag of Halloween candy, as an adult, and being told it’s fun and delicious

I like them, but it seems that less time is devoted to well-crafted jokes or stories, and instead replaced with the unfunny scourge of CROWD WORK.

Oh, what do you do for a living?
Um me? I'm a lawyer.
[DRAMATIC PAUSE]
OOOH, a [SCORNFUL VOICE] LAWYER? Then I'll keep this BRIEF

I hate the Abrahamic religions en masse, not as ~3 distinct faiths. Not sure how socially (un)acceptable that is, because the complaints mostly seem to be about the subcategories.

Yeah I mean obviously this is the thread for it but the hatred of someone saying something after a sneeze is just absolutely wild to me.

Indeed. If someone doesn’t say something, that’s rude imo. In my mind I’m also being rude by saying nothing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The social reflex of it is a bit odd but I like it because of that — it's this ritual from the cumulative ancestors, and unlike a lot of other folk traditions mostly harmless (even if it can create the occasional self-consciousness or sense of peer pressure). I remember one of my kids asking me why we say it for sneezes but not coughs and not being particularly versed in the history I was like, "We just do, it's a thing people do."

lol barely a day goes by in my office without multiple shouts of "bless you" to one another

― Slouching Towards Benylin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 22 November 2025 20:18 (one hour ago)

kicker is that nobody's sneezing

I will sometimes say "bless you" to somebody that audibly farts, as long as I know them. Strangers that fart can fuck right off.

One of my kids when he was about 7 invented "Fardon me." He said it after farting once and I was like, what did you say? He said, "When you burp you say pardon me, when you fart you say fardon me." It's been part of the family lingo ever since.

yeah why bless one explosion but not others? lil tipsy otm

Fardon me while I burst

I hate the Abrahamic religions en masse, not as ~3 distinct faiths. Not sure how socially (un)acceptable that is, because the complaints mostly seem to be about the subcategories.

― hey man, smell my finger, then another finger, then cigarette (WmC), Saturday, November 22, 2025 1:21 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

interesting. i used to hate the Roman Catholic church, which, like, it's a major religion with a billion or so people on the rolls, some of whom take it personally when it's not about _them_ at all. I guess not all of them would be pissed about it, I mean, I'm one of those billion or so people myself.

anyway i've come around to saying "i don't have anything against christianity, it's patriarchy that gets me"

which in some senses is perhaps a bit of a dodge given that christianity is pretty intrinsically patriarchal, but honestly, i've become more appreciative of splitting hairs like that, cuz it's not like i'm going to get anywhere swearing eternal enmity to a billion or so people

also in some sense it's "socially acceptable" for me to hate capitalism, it's just that hating capitalism doesn't pay my bills

I don’t like the sound of the Dutch language. Every other language sounds beautiful. Sorry Holland

Funny story: back when we were bingeing ‘The Expanse,’ husband and I were stoned and watching an episode and musing about the Belter accents, and I said “Dutch Bugs Bunny,” and he looked at me like I was the highest motherfucker on the planet, but indeed, Dutch Bugs Bunny and Belter accents sound really similar lmfao.

My honest answer to this is meat and the enjoying of it by people who have the option not to eat it, especially grotesque when fussy, elaborate preparations

I don’t like the sound of the Dutch language. Every other language sounds beautiful. Sorry Holland

There are different dialects though, the Dutch spoken in western Belgium is quite soft afaict.

One of my kids when he was about 7 invented "Fardon me." He said it after farting once and I was like, what did you say? He said, "When you burp you say pardon me, when you fart you say fardon me." It's been part of the family lingo ever since.

I love this. Family lingo is one of my favourite things, although I know (from experience) that it can be annoying when adults insist on telling the full story behind it every single time they use it: "Remember when you were seven and you said fardon me? Remember that? Do you? You were so young and cute!" I like it when it just becomes a natural part of the family lexicon. When my niece was little, instead of "eating plums on a plate, five, six, seven, eight" she once said, "eaty pums, five six seveneightnine", and "eaty pums" has become a family way of saying that something was delicious.

Familect.

Yesterday my son saw a picture of reindeer and said "moonhorse"

I played a socket wrench set like it was a xylophone when I was a kid and called it a “wrenchophone” and “it is a wrenchophone” then became our family’s version of “it is what it is”

Is there a thread for family lingo because these are great.

there's the homemade jokes thread but that isn't quite the same of course

Brunch

Whoa.

the constant chuckling over supposedly "sinful" things like a glass of wine, or a nice dinner, or dessert

like oh ho, going for another slice of cake are we!! ooh yes don't mind if i do, chuckle chuckle!! what the hell is going on here

'Aren't I naughty!'

This is by some distance the most irritatingly twee take on sinfulness that the British middle classes have manufactured over generations. I hear it in a posh-ish lisp.

Give me all the fucking cake

I don't care if you chuckle over it as long as you don't call it 'cheeky'

'Dare I? Dare I?'

'Oh, I musn't! I musn't! A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!'

darling, really, you know i love your curves hrmph hrmph

related: I really hate when somebody makes an over-the-top attempt at being both impressed and envious when you state that you are doing something "nice" but also kinda mundane, and something that they could easily also do:

"Yeah, I'm playing a round of golf this weekend."

"Golf?! Hmm, must be nice!"

yes i hate this

micronegging at any little joy they hear of.

I don't care if you chuckle over it as long as you don't call it 'cheeky'

had an Aussie roommate for a while and they once were speaking and noticed a kombucha in my hand and said, “went to Whole Paycheck for a cheeky kombucha now did we” and to this day, fifteen years later, my husband and I only refer to kombucha as “cheeky kombucha” lol

micronegging at any little joy they hear of.

Oh Jesus, yes, this is so accurate. The "It's well for you" attitude is so small and mean.

"I hope it keeps fine for you"

The "naughty"/"cheeky" thing is just the most annoying of the many socially acceptable prisms English people view food through, because actually publicly enjoying food (like the majority of the world do) would be nothing short of a perversion and mark you out as an oddball.

OTM, though not confined to the English. I wish there were an emoji for the waiter in Limmy who brings two spoons to the couple sharing dessert in a restaurant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfUUl235DsE

yeah think this prob exists everywhere, same as the weird clucking towards the small enjoyments of others which i traditionally thought of as catholic/irish but sadly has no religion/ethnicity.

I can tell you it definitely doesn't exist in China

people surveilling each other and wielding guilt seems like it would exist there

yeah but it manifests itself in different ways, and people aren't too embarrassed to enjoy food.

guilt there is much less about being a burden to strangers and more to do with filial piety

is your diet part of the social credit system over there?

i know what you are saying but my general feeling is these traits are universal and it's more just what container they have been squeezed into from country to country

I don't remember it from Portugal but I also remember myself and everyone I knew blissfully ignoring any worries whatsoever regarding dietary restrictions, the effects of shitty food on the body, the environmental impacts, etc.

As soon as that starts to be a big thing in the culture that kind of tweeness will manifest imo. The reasoning might be more "gotta watch ny figure" than any of the more serious concerns I listed but it's all in there roving around the head.

the lives of strangers are just not viewed as important or any of your business, there is the whole concept of "face" I guess, but that's all about levels of prestige, nobody is losing face for embarrassing others or being a burden on them. fat-phobia is a real thing and a big problem, but nobody seems to connect it to "you eat too much" let alone apply shame to it, your family will definitely criticise you harshly if you are a woman and even slightly chubby, but they will do it directly and won't feel the need to do it via passive aggression. so I'm not saying it's a better system but at least they don't have this twee bollocks about "naughty" food.

I used to take the subway in guangzhou and had to change lines at a place called jiahewanggang, there was an escalator and a lift, the lift was clearly marked as for pushchairs, disabled and old people only, but I always had to queue up for it with my pushchair as loads of able-bodied people couldn't be bothered to use the escalator. I would tell them every time (in Chinese of course) that the lift wasn't for them and they should use the escalator and every single time they just shrugged and laughed and were in no way shamed into using the escalator.

I also remember myself and everyone I knew blissfully ignoring any worries whatsoever regarding dietary restrictions

this is also true of the uk tho? generally top of most overweight countries in europe. i guess you could connect that to the discourse but feels too easy. people go to the gym and exercise and are aware of dietary issues everywhere. i'm fairly sure i bought a cake off the portuguese bakery at victoria park market (recommend) and had this exact discourse with the portuguese woman who runs the stall, but maybe she's gone native.

even before the internet i think some of this stuff is just mass human behaviour.

Minnesota enters the chat with ‘oh I shouldn’t but just a sliver, I guess’ followed by collective angst about taking the final slice…

This kind of person always acts performatively stressed out to signal that they work so hard, more than you. “Oh i never have time to read.”

this is also true of the uk tho?

Not really, no. I know my experience in London is hardly representative, but all the major national chains do vegan and gluten free options at least, there has to be demand for that to be the case, obesity rates notwithstanding. This is only now starting to be the case in Portugal but I think it's v reductive to say "people are aware of dietary issues everywhere", no, there's def varying awareness of various dietary issues in different areas of the world and different frameworks to interpret them.

fwiw I am sympathetic to the idea that people tend to me misinterpret basically human impulses as somehow specific to their culture (immigrants ofc do this even more), I just think this is a curiously specific example to hang that argument onto.

But it has to be true to an extent given the obesity levels?

Also not sure vegan and gluten free options are the same issue as people's attitudes to dietary restrictions. That seems a different issue about culture or choices.

To me the discussion is or was about whether the UK is more parsimonious and I guess I'm saying it isn't, regardless of rhetoric about cheeky pints or whatever. That that is just a sort of way of talking. The fact Ireland has a similar discourse and I can remember both grandmas talking about suggests, even considering overlap of UK and Irish culture, that this isn't some modern trend. My granny on dad's side would constantly joke about how much she loved sweets and cake etc in the same breath as saying how they are bad for her etc.

Idk I just think maybe this is how a lot of people live, probably tied into religion but it's very hard to properly know.

What's weird is I guess you'd think of this guilty talk as a Catholic remnant, guilt etc, but in the UK it seems sort of widespread. However I know there's a trend in Northern Ireland for protestant tray bakes and stuff, like sugar identified with the culture. I don't know how deep but I've read about it before.

Presbyterianism very much frowns upon people enjoying yourself too much... if at all.

... themselves.

But it has to be true to an extent given the obesity levels?

I don't know that that follows! Greater awareness of healthy eating doesn't translate that straightforwardly into healthy eating habits, it is totally possible to carry on w/ your bad habits while being aware of and possibly guilty about them, and that's what makes the "well I really shouldn't" impulse make sense in the first place.

Also not sure vegan and gluten free options are the same issue as people's attitudes to dietary restrictions. That seems a different issue about culture or choices

Yeah I'm including them within this larger framework of ppl thinking about, and perhaps becoming somewhat neurotic, about what they eat, and I do think that's a thing.

remember both grandmas talking about suggests, even considering overlap of UK and Irish culture, that this isn't some modern trend. My granny on dad's side would constantly joke about how much she loved sweets and cake etc in the same breath as saying how they are bad for her etc.

This though is fair and goes against my theory here. The only thing I'd say is women's eating habits have always been more policed.

What's weird is I guess you'd think of this guilty talk as a Catholic remnant, guilt etc, but in the UK it seems sort of widespread. However I know there's a trend in Northern Ireland for protestant tray bakes and stuff, like sugar identified with the culture. I don't know how deep but I've read about it before.

Haha that's interesting, in my head the Catholic attitude towards food is entirely hedonistic and the protestant one totally self-flagellating, though ofc w/ any example there are so many other factors as well.

We had xmas in Germany once and my wife, who is French, noted how the xmas dinner was fish, potatoes and "a little butter, because it is Christmas".

Maybe the actual catholic guilt is indigestion.

The one person I know in the UK who really goes in for "should you be eating that cake?" is an older person who admits themselves that they bear the mental and emotional scars of poverty/rationing in the early 1950s, so I am prepared to cut them a bit of slack, but will still go "yum yum, lovely cake, please give me more cream" in front of them.

"I hope it keeps fine for you"

The only acceptable response to this is to pretend it is a genuine wish for the sun to shine upon my endeavours.

I would tell them every time (in Chinese of course) that the lift wasn't for them and they should use the escalator and every single time they just shrugged and laughed and were in no way shamed into using the escalator.

I still think about the guy who hopped into a lift with me at the cinema once, with all his bike gear, and cheerfully said "oh, we're all just having a sly little go in the lift, are we?" I wanted to say "actually, no, I can't walk properly and I can't take the stairs," which was true, but I figured, what's the point in shaming somebody who isn't trying to be mean? I do wonder why people in Ireland can't just shut the fuck up and mind their own business, though. See also: all those social media threads about the "hilarity" of Irish people slagging (policing) what other people wear or how they choose to appear. Just fuck off and mind your own business.

can sympathise with that for sure. i found some of the stuff on those threads funny but it's a bit like the way people say a small town is friendly. sure, it is, but also nosy. and in general, the constant feeling that someone on the street might say or shout something to you unsolicited in dublin is usually more a threat, ime. one i've never felt in london. and that's speaking as a white man.

Being passremarkable is the banal condition alas

National, not banal, although that too

The OED describes pass-remarkable as being Irish-English and Scottish-English, which tells you something.

Is it socially acceptable to hate the lad with a cosplay viking stall in the shopping centre near work who blows his viking horn every few minutes? Cos he can fuck off tbh

sounds fair

Don’t be mean to Moondog

well sounds like the lad has no pals, so has to blow his own horn

needs to be sent to valhalla

hull is other peoples

THE FUTURE OF MASTURBATION

"I could love you but why begin it? Cuz there ain't any future in it.." (Les McKeown, Bay City Rollers)

not to derail the thread but the talk about different attitudes to food above is interesting. Among the Italian-American contingent of my family, the idea of feeling guilty about enjoying food is almost totally alien. Especially around the holidays! Which yeah, seems at odds with the whole "Catholic guilt" thing. I do wonder if it has something to do with food being more scarce historically in Northern Europe than around the Mediterranean (I don't even know if that's true, but it sounds like it might be)

Yo I got one

PEANUTS (the comic strip)

Yeah, add Wallace & Gromit to the list.

Whoa. I can't for the life of me understand hating Peanuts. I *do* hate the way Peanuts has been market-ized into saccharine drivel.

facebook likes to show me calvin & hobbes strips in my feed - honestly it hasn't aged well imo.

"Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me" on NPR

with peanuts i may be a philistine but i don't get the strip, on the other hand i love the animated specials (probably nostalgia speaking).

Peanuts continued 10-20 years longer than it should have, so many adults experienced it without the haze of a nostalgic golden period.

If your first glimpse of Peanuts was a 1990s newspaper instead of I guess a beloved animated TV special, it's competely understandable to find no use in your life for it.

Yeah, add Wallace & Gromit to the list.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 26 November 2025 16:42 (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah. For one it's not that funny or entertaining. It's got a specifically nerdy British twee-ness similar to Purple Ronnie greetings cards. But it's something people talk-up in a "This makes me proud to be British"/national treasure type of way. I get that the animation is innovative, but overall Aardman stuff doesn't spark joy for me at all.

But you all can leave Calvin & Hobbes out of this please

I was a 90s kid and could not figure out why Peanuts was considered to be such a classic, it was lamer than the Family Circus

Calvin and Hobbes on the other hand is still great, not every strip is a winner but I appreciate the fact that he never slacked off

"Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me" on NPR

NPR in general

Also a 90s kid, and my experience of Peanuts was reading through dusty collections of the old strips from my elementary school library. Those were absolutely not "lamer than Family Circus." I don't really remember what the contemporary strips were like, I guess they must have sucked lol

Charlie Brown is an annoying self-absorbed whiney dude, proto holden caulfield imo

I grew up on my dad's fairly comprehensive Peanuts library, so I read the whole strip from its beginnings (where the drawing is very much still evolving and Snoopy is a nonverbal puppy) through the '70s, and then the contemporary strip from there forward. mid-50s to mid-70s is probably its peak. One of the great works of 20th century American literature imo but ymmv obv.

facebook likes to show me calvin & hobbes strips in my feed - honestly it hasn't aged well imo.

i still love calvin & hobbes but FB has been showing me strips with 1 panel replaced by an AI-generated substitute and it's super depressing/enraging

Eugh early Calvin and Hobbes was so terrible imo, definitely one of those strips that got, like, exponentially better as time went on.

_facebook likes to show me calvin & hobbes strips in my feed - honestly it hasn't aged well imo._

i still love calvin & hobbes but FB has been showing me strips with 1 panel replaced by an AI-generated substitute and it's super depressing/enraging

Death penalty for the perpetrators

I have one: Ruth Baser Ginsburg and “Notorious RBG” shit. Her egotistical refusal to retire when Obama gently suggested it doomed her life’s work.

Bader.

Dietrich Bader would have retired in time.

XKCD. Ugh.

The movie Love Actually

"Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me" on NPR

― henry s, Wednesday, November 26, 2025 11:48 AM (thirty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCzIZopvGnn/

Ok not to thread police but NPR, xkcd and Love Actually are all things it's pretty common to hate, hardly marks anyone out as a pariah.