Bosses, complete b*stards or just b*stards?

You are entitled to holiday, and I advise going to personnel if your boss carries on being a fucker about it.

Chris V, Pete, wanna me by new boss?

Although I doubt we'd get very much work done coz we'd be on ILX all day, or would we actually converse? So many questions......

I think I may have overdosed on cough medicine..

If a boss has to say something which the subordinate doesn't want to hear, it takes a lot of maturity to accept that it's nothing personal. I'm sure it's a real pisser for some, who are good people but get landed with arsey staff.

Well done, though, smee.

(This probably works because I only have five people working for me. I can see it might get a bit messy and disorganised if I were head of some multi-national conglomerate)

Just say you're setting up a charter school founded on the values of the naturalist way of life. If you keep emphasizing the word "values" and don't explain what "naturalist" means, you're in the clear.

He likes to ask me lots of questions in a way that sets up this teacher/student type relationship.

For example:
Boss: "Sarah, Do you know what is wrong with your voicemail message?"
Me: "(pause) No..."
Boss: "Do you even know what you say on there?"
Me: "Well, (blah di blah di blah)..."
Boss: "Let's listen to it together, shall we?"
(calls into my voicemail and puts it on speaker phone. I still don't hear anything wrong with it)
Boss: "NOW, do you see what I'm talking about?"
Me: (Blank stare)
Boss: "Do you see what's missing here? There's your message.. and it's very nice and professional.. and then the voice that says, 'Speak after the tone.'"
Me: "Yes...?"
Boss:"SO, YOU need to say something like, "Please leave a message after the beep and I will get back to you," because otherwise how are people supposed to know to leave a message???

WTF???

And today he asked me if I knew how to find the square footage of a house.
Yes, of course.
So then he proceeds to draw a diagram of a house that is very rectangular but - tricky tricky - is basically two rectangles put together instead of just one.
Do I know how to find the area?
Of course! I went to middle school!
But even though I say, "Yes, yes. So you multiply length times width and add the two areas...," he goes on to talk to me very slowly and uses an example and repeats himself several times.

Then, later he made another comment about how I should feel REALLY lucky that I get to wear jeans today on office casual day. He said, "You know, Sarah. I know you want to be like the other people in the office and wear jeans. But what if I said you had to go by all their policies? What if I made you work from 8 to 5:30 for now on??? Is that what you want?"
Yeah, that's really funny.
So, I say, "You know, I've said this before, but I REALLY don't mind. If you REALLY don't want me to wear jeans on casual day, I won't."
But he'd prefer to carry on about it.

GRRRAJRKLARJKLJRKLRJRRR!

Or, perhaps: "Bite me Satan"

Or I could do the devilhorns thing that Elaine did on Seinfeld.

Back when I worked at the RE office, it was generally the bitchiest realtors who took on the assistants. (The nicest ones generally couldn't afford to, alas.) Bleh.

All this boss stuff hits home for me though because I'm one and it can be absolutely excruciating to have to make decisions that nobody is happy with. I recently went through the time-off thing and it's still eating my soul...we have an absolutely no vacation in May policy and my employee asked off for the last week of the month for a wedding. I feel like an awful person no matter what I do in this situation.

(note: I do not actually think this is a good idea at all, tho I do have a friend who has gotten away with something similar.)

Today is his birthday. He is still in a horrible mood though. The first thing he said when he called in this morning was, "What did ... Lender say about the package?" I told him and he yelled, "You call back that Fckhead and you tell him that....!!!"

I left a message for the company supervisor to announce his birthday at their meeting. Sure enough, he had everyone sing him happy birthday. In return, my boss called me up and said that it will definitely effect my next bonus, that he HATES getting up in front of people and that I should know better than to have done that.

I also got him a card for everyone to sign and a cake. He better not scold me for those too! What a jerk!

Sarah, that sucks. Though your boss may not be Alpha Asshole, being handed a Bill O'Reilly book and being told "maybe this will help you think" is always pretty fucking discouraging. :(

*sigh* I'm drinking hot chocolate at my desk cuz it's freezing in here and I need to nurture my soul and stuff.

I don't wanna get too much into specifics but I'm getting really sick of people above me ordering me around when:

1. they're not my boss.
2. the questions they bring up to me would be easily answered if they bothered to read the stuff I send them THE FIRST TIME.

also, hstencil is not a helpdesk worker. He is not here to figure out how your Blackberry works, why the printer's jammed, or why your computer is slow. SO QUIT ASKING HIM.

My boss is super. She's pleasant without being wishy washy, and she understands and doesn't have a problem with my taking occasional sick days for mental health. Other bosses I've had either didn't believe that bipolar disorder is a legitimate illness, or I had to get notes from doctors and all that "we don't trust you" type of shit.

I'm open about mental illness, mind you, but I don't abuse it by taking off days for no reason. It's not like I want to be treated differently. If anything, it's that I don't want to sit at my desk all day being an anxious, irritable, unproductive bastard myself while on my employer's tab.

Well, at least not a employer that has treated me well in general.

Something like martin above (we have too much in common, given the name too), I've been very open about my serious depression, and it has cost me a fair amount of sick leave. When I was off with bad flu recently, one boss suggested I get a sick note to prove I had something real this time. I don't remember his exact words, but that was close and unmistakeably the meaning. To be fair, when I protested that I'd trade the depression in a second for permanent versions of the worst physical illnesses I'd ever had, he did back off and apologise. He doesn't really get it, but I don't much blame him for that because before I became ill with this, I didn't remotely understand it either. I don't know how understanding I'd have been in his position several years ago.

And to be honest, I really don't know a lot about Word. It's just that I can usually figure out what I need to do with it. I think it's my general skill for debuggery that gets me asked more questions than I want to deal with in a day. So I've learned to hide that general skill and sing the praises of the IT guys around here who do have "fixing printer problems" explicitly in their job description.

And Martin, my boss has said a couple things that were ill-informed though not exactly malicious about mental illness as well. I also had a coworker step waaaaay out of line in accusing me of being potentially physically threatening to her though. (I have no history of this nor is it in any Dx I've ever been given.) So anything out of my boss that shows a lack of understanding is easily forgiven since she sided more or less with me on that accusation.

My depression symptoms have never been particularly bad, as I swing off the other way into hypomania land when not treated. But similarly misunderstanding folks have said things to me like "You mean you -don't- want to be that way? Man, if I could stay up for three days at a time, I'd be the most productive person ever."

Hm. That's funny. When I stay up like that from hypomania, "productive" is the furthest from what I'd call myself. Sure I might be writing like a madman, but reading it later will reveal it to be, well, writing like a madman.

In my current job I haven't disclosed my bipolar status. I guess I really fear any misunderstanding of the disease and/or fear of it and it's place in my field could impact me greatly. Fortunately (?) though *everyone* in my job needs mental health days so inabilities to cope aren't necessairly red flags for illness.

It's one of my favorites... I know I coined it for myself, but I don't think it's so original that someone else wouldn't have also coined it without me knowing, so I'm surprised that more folks don't use it. Maybe it's not so likely here because I'm in America (and in the south to boot).

For one thing, it's a pretty perfect description of the kind of top-level bullshit desktop help I end up providing for the folks who just don't know what they're doing.

the next month will be spent determining whether...

1. What other position within the Bank I'm moving on to (whatever that may be, no specifics).
2. What other position outside the Bank I'm moving on to.

Looks like I'm outta here June 1.

Also, one of the admin assistants had the nerve to invite me to his birthday lunch today. Like I want to celebrate this asshole's birthday! FUCK YOU, JOE WELDON.

There is this designated agency disclosure form, see, that I never saw, you see, and was supposedly signed. And my boss's commission check was frozen by our company because said form was not turned in. And then when we tried to get the purchaser to re-sign it, he refused saying the property is closed, why bother? Then eventually he said he might sign it after showing it to his attorney in a few weeks...

In sum, due to this one piece of paper that I don't even believe was ever signed initially, my boss is having me totally redo my system of organization to make it much much more confusing and trouble-prone. AND like I've mentioned before, he also wants everything to be on paper instead of on the computer. Nothing like taking a few steps backwards! AND he said that if this ever happens again, ie: a form not being turned in that he or his buyer's agent were supposed to get signed, it will be decidedly my fault so I better walk behind them and make sure it gets done.

So then after he left the office for a bit I went up and dumped on the receptionist and then felt totally horrible. I used to be a receptionist and everyone dumped on me all the time. And then these other ladies came in and asked what was wrong. I was all, "oh, nothing." and then the receptionist told them all. So then I got freaked out that it would come back around to my boss that I'd been complaining about him.

Then I went to lunch, called my mom, and cooled down a wee bit.

Then when I saw my boss again he said, "Wait? ARe you going out of town this weekend??" and I say, "yes." and he says, "Humph! Well you BETTER come back refreshed monday because we have FIVE closings next week!!"

the end

thanks for listenin'.

I once had one that gave all of the female employees handguns to keep in their desks, in case his very psychotic son decided to show-up and start shooting people (er, I was working for a gun wholesaler at the time, which still doesn't justify it). The same boss used to go dove hunting and then would come into the accounting office and throw bird carcasses on our desks (think like your cat bringing home their latest catch, to 'feed the family'). Oh, and while his son (in his late twenties at the time) was being tested for mental illness, the boss' secretary had the joyous task of following the son around and trying to collect all of his urine, over a period of three days, in a container for testing. She literally followed him into the bathroom stalls to make sure that he wasn't using the toilet bowl. I still don't understand why she did that. I should think that it would have been good for a couple million, at least.

I had another who fired me, after I was injured on the job, because, according to his logic, I had left the bookstore open for robbery because I was stuck on the floor in the back room with broken bones. Apparently I should have crawled to the front of the building and arranged for a replacement before calling the ambulance. Brilliant.

Why does my boss call first thing in the morning when I'm still sleepy? He's trying to rattle my cage. Grrr...

But yeah, Laura you totally win on the dumb bosses award - for today anyway.

Poor woman wasn't making more than 12.00 USD an hour. Sick.

No, I haven't told him. Yes, I am a bit scared.

!!!

She won't invest in a security system to stop people stealing the fucking books but she is worried about COPIER PAPER.

Not helping my mood. Though I did get more coffee.

My boss is sort of great right now because he's been out of the office all but half of one day for the past 2 weeks. Sadly, that also means I can't get in touch with him about all these mini-crises.

Good luck.

I finally had enough and quit last week. Four days later the company announced that my position was being made redundant anyway. "Oh well" said the boss. "How's your husband taking the news that not only are you going to be unemployed over Christmas but you missed out on your redundancy package?". Like I didn't discuss it with him first...

He's also asked me to stay on for a few weeks after my notice period to help him out when the changes happen. Can you guess what my reaction was?

I hope you've been writing this all down somewhere because the guy's a bully. Go for a tribunal and try to make it as 'newsworthy' as possible.

It means you're doomed. Get out while you still can.

Also, Swimming With Sharks to thread

I hate to say it, but I suspect Elvis is very OTM.

It's also erratic enough behavior to set off all my warning signs, especially if you only just started working there.

Also, read Ally's sublime "stupid coworkers" thread to see how bad/hilarious it could be.

Yes I have. Fortunately, they've all been in places that have a pretty explicit policy covering abuse situations and someone doing that (supervisor or not) would be sent out into the cornfield quickly.

Spencer OTM. I think we are actually getting along quite well. Maybe we have a secret bond becuse everybody else that works here is womens?

(xpost Elvis I see your point, but maybe I should have phrased it differently. he wasn't being "abusive" at all. Just old and scatty and weird)

I didn't say he was. Only weird.

in six months you're going to be sitting around in a blue blazer with gold buttons and an ascot chomping on a cigar with your boss talking about "the girl in the skirts" at work.

also, kyle otm re: banana republic blazers.

and, khaki and dark khaki slacks go with navy blazers.

Especially in legal and entertainment industry jobs. Most of people you encounter are entirely professional, but there is still a subset of workers/managers/people in power who feel that they have to act out (if they're even aware of it). I don't know the specifics of @d@ml's workplace outside of what he's posted, but like I said it set off my suspicions.

Anyway, more clothing talk please.

Eyeless in Gaza etc.

This boss is the best, funniest boss I've ever had!

Way to boost our morale...

I am horrible.

So sometimes bosses are OK.

Madchen: grrr, we are obviously SO valued...

No, he isn't. (Civil Service, not how the structure works) This job has potential for getting really busy (and interesting) next year pending some Approvals, but if they don't go ahead I don't see me staying. The job where I'm wanted is one I've had my eye on for some time.

I have about a month to think about it, by which time I should have a good idea how the future looks for this job.

"My apologies. No exclusion intended! You know I think you’re wonderful!!! Can you please check the job description and alter it as you think fit."

She has also altered the org chart to include me.

Now I can get away with murder for a couple of weeks!

Ew!

okay, fine, but 3 days is a fucking lie, I was here at 8 on monday and tuesday and no-one else was here, and no-one fucking noticed. So I figured that, along with the fact that I didn't take a lunch yesterday, made up for it. Guess not! I will never come in a second early again since it goes unnoticed. and if I'm running late I'll just not come in at all.

Also, she made me take down a notice giving helpline numbers for students who've experienced racism, because it was 'inappropriate' for our noticeboard. Yeah, because it's not like our centre is the most visited part of the university for international students, or anything.

MF wants diana [another office admin assistant] to move to the empty admin cubicle that is closer to him. When the irm partner, DH, heard MF wanted her to move, he put up a stink because he likes her sitting closer to him. not to mention MF is never in the office so it shouldn't matter where she sits to begin with. anyway, these two grown men are going back and forth putting her in the middle of it. MF then decided to call some high level admin person in chicago to see if they could make the move happen, and the high partner was about to be called the last i heard. they made the our office manager fax over our floor plan to chicago with X marks as to where she is sitting now and where they want to move her. these people are nuts. we are talking about a difference of maybe 10 steps (i know this because the office mangaer actually walked and counted the steps it takes to get to and fro from both cubicles). an outstanding use of the office manager's time.

grrr. then don't promise things that you can't deliver. certainly not if you're going to spring changes on people two hours before you need them. and spec the damn thing well in the first place, if it's not sure in your mind how it works then how am i going to know? and T being in late is exactly what to do with me? nothing. grrrr.

Now, I know that you don't actually ride public transportation yourself, and so this may be an unfamiliar concept, but let's think about it logically: I'm late because the earlier train DID NOT COME. I do not possess psychic abilities that will allow me to ascertain this in advance.

Also, thank you for making me work on Martin Luther King Day because we are so "busy" when in fact you're just going to make me sit around filing all day because you don't want to be in the office alone. Because all the other fucking businesses here are taking the day off. Partly because last year you gave a speech to the entire office about how important it was to observe it.

I can't wait to not fucking work here.

I used to commute on NJ Transit from Bergen County. I took an express train to Hoboken, then the PATH, and got in around 9.10 every day. My boss lived in Bklyn. But she wanted ME to get on a train 45 mins earlier (which was NOT an express) in order to be at my desk before 9am, so she could feel confident that her authors would get someone on the phone even if she didn't feel like coming in until 9.20.

So basically I'm saying I feel your pain.

Also: now that I've given the ABSURD 2 months notice she wanted, she has now decided that she wants to try to find a way to kick me off of health insurance, since you pay installments for three months in advance. EVEN THOUGH they will reimburse her for the last month as soon as I leave. AND she wants ME to help her figure out how to cancel it. This bugs me especially because she is very independently wealthy. Also because she gave me a big speech when I was hired about how important it is to give your employees health insurance.

Also, are you still looking for something to do tomorrow night? If I'm not too busy w/ Bk 2, I might have an idea. Will email.