This is the thread where we curse cancer.

colin, there isnt anything i can say. because i dont know how to fight this, i dont know how to fight disease, i dont know how to fight loss. i dont know how to deal with something that is as impassive and cold and random as disease. but i wish i did

Note to all past, present, and future ilxors: avoid Interweb ultimatums whilst grieving.

In 1972 I was given three months to live when I was diagnosed with a childhood cancer with a 97 per cent kill rate which had settled in BOTH kidneys and was brushing up against my lungs, too. I was given surgery, radiation and chemo and turned up for my first day of school in a wig. Whenever I go in for an X-ray or something, the radiologists and attending physicians freak out because you can still see the surgical staples around my kidneys, and when I tell them why they do double-takes which reinforce to me how lucky I am to be alive. Not a day goes by where I don't have a rage moment about the way cancer is diagnosed and treated in so-called developed countries; in fact I'm having one of those RIGHT NOW.

I cling to the fact that people like my friend Heather are willing to spend hour upon under-funded hour growing tumours in jelly to get a few steps closer to really saying fuck you.

KANCA BUN DAT FASS, SEEN

yeah, fuck it. so sorry to hear of your friend's death, colin.

And my best friend died a year ago from breast cancer. She was hardly Mrs High Risk - she lived the healthiest lifestyle of anyone I know, full of organically home-grown vegetables and lots of exercise. But she died anyway, painfully, tearfully, bloated from the steroid treatment she was subjected to - leaving behind a bewildered and desolate husband and two little boys who are so young they will probably never actually remember their mother.

So yes, I'm angry. It's good to rail against this terrible disease, to shout and cry and pound your fists into the pillow at the awful unfairness of it. Letting anger out helps to make you feel better. I just wish it could bring our loved ones back, too, because I'd give anything to be able to have that happen.

I know you don't want cyber hugs, but I'm sending them to you anyway Colin. And to anyone else who needs one right now.

To Cancer: Fuck you, you fucking fuck! May you spontaneously combust and your genes die out!

But a father still lost a daughter, two sisters lost a third sister, and a husband lost a wife before she even had a chance to become a mother. It happened 18 months ago but it doesn't go away - still dominates my entire life.

Colin, it stinks and it stinks and it stinks. You know I know how it feels, you've read CoM, you've seen the M&L threads here - I will try and email you if I can find a moment. Or just email me. Rant away as voraciously as you want. It's what needs to be done.

(I just re-read my ILE posts abt Laura's illness - my writing looks so damned clinical, so matter-of-fact. It belies what was going on inside me)

After about five years in remission I stopped going for yearly inpatient week-long batteries of tests. After about 10 years I stopped going for outpatient one-day batteries of tests. You're considered in remission until you've been free of cancer for 20 or 25 years. I don't worry about it coming back, but I don't allow myself overexposure to sun in high summer.

My mum has had it twice over the last 10 years but knock on wood will remain in remission.

Troubling is how you've said, it's herditary and mh, I only have one brother, who's always been able to skip the illness in our family ( only I inherited my father's phlegmatic temperament - we get colds too often! - apparently). But I'm ready, after all those scientific peopole should be doing something about this cancer thing by 2040, hopefully!!

But yeah, cancer. Fuck you, you miserable bastard. And to those of you who have also been negatively affected by this terrible thing, my sympathies, condolences, well wishes, admiration, etc.

its funny because i never get the flu and barely get colds, but i get cancer twice by the time i am 21.

i dont worry though.

ok, well, the doc says he is 99 percent sure of cancer again, so i think that he knows what he is talking about.

Very sorry to hear this news Todd!!

Meanwhile, some happy news, actually -- especially since it is very likely I'll get prostate cancer at some point in the future due to family history, as noted way above -- a specific prostate cancer gene has been identified, which will improve testing and early detection by leaps and bounds.

that really sucks!

FUCK CANCER!

-- todd swiss (plastiqmusi...), March 26th, 2004.

What happened to this guy?

well, i have had cancer twice (lymphoma)

the first time i got radiation and the second time they used this new biotherapy thing that uses mice cells that attach to the cancer cell receptors and kill them.

i have been healthy and active both times i was diagnosed. the best thing is to just remain positive i guess. looking back, i guess i was kind of a hard ass because it sucked and i was relatively calm and regular.

my advice is if you feel lumps, get them checked out.

-- todd swiss (will.the.hills.march.of...), December 23rd, 2004.

...and I think I've seen him on aim since; any chicago ilxers seen him lately?

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/87/99477.htm

if only there was a candle to light instead of cursing darkness

fuck you

Her birthday is on August 12th.

Fuck you, cancer.

Carter, I'm sorry about your friend. We lost my grandmother to esphogeal cancer only two weeks after she was diagnosed. :(

Yeah, cancer can fuck right off. I mean it. Fuck off. You're not wanted. Got it? FUCK OFF.

every time this thread gets bumped its a pretty big bummer :-(

We just lost our dear friend Sandra to liver cancer last week. She was only 35 fucking years old! Everyone's still pretty shocked. No one even knew she was sick until a month ago, and now she's dead. I fucking hate cancer and I hate the doctors that wouldn't see her because she had no insurance. I hate this stupid country right now and it's bullshit health care. Some doctors wouldn't even call her back! total bullshit. It's all wrong. That girl should not have died.

Condolences, django.

OMG FUCK U CANCER

I'm so sorry.

me too ; (

I'm very sorry to hear about that, django.

I have a friend who is 34 who was diagnosed with breast cancer last fall. She had a bilateral mastectomy, she's lost all of her hair, and the chemo has made her fingernails fall off as well. She had genetic testing done and it turns out that she has the genetic marker that predisposes her to both breast and ovarian cancer. Her chemo is over and tomorrow she'll be having a complete hysterectomy with removal of ovaries.

Cancer just SUCKS. And hearing about such young people with cancer just makes me so angry.

I'm sorry for you and your friend Sara. I wish her and her loved ones the best. It's not impossible to beat it, I think things would be different if she had been diagnosed sooner. This is the closest person I've ever lost. It's much harder than I thought it would be. This is her, she's the sexy red head on the right (that's me in the middle):
http://www.capableofanything.com/images/freemans.gif
That was the last time I saw her (not counting the wake). I look back and can't believe that was the last time I'd see her. Greg took the photo. He was there with her when she died. She and her boyfriend had a bedside marriage at 10pm and she passed away at about 5am the following morning. All in all, I've realized how lucky I was that I knew her at all, how lucky we all were. We didn't get much time with her but every minute with Sandra was worth a day with anyone else.

Oh god :( django I'm sorry to hear that.

And uh ailsa, I hope your cursing cancer doesnt also bode bad news? *worry*

Yeah I'm worried too now having read that.

http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/kits/images/FCancer72large.jpg

(i am sorry for your loss, django, and everyone else).

(my mom had stage 4 ovarian cancer when i was 10-12. she was told that she had 2% chance of living. she's still here, but christ, fuck you cancer for fucking her up AND fucking me up in the process)

Sandra looks like she was sooooo cool. :(

I think my friend is going to be declared cancer-free after all this. Hopefully. But I don't think it's something you stop worrying about, ever.

And WOW on your mother surviving stage 4 ovarian cancer. My aunt was diagnosed with that in early 1993 and died in early 1995. But I'm sorry for every horrible thing that it does to families and individuals, and to you and her in particular. I think ovarian cancer is probably the thing that scares me most in this world.

It's my dad. Further tests to examine the extent to follow, though we think it's very early stages and treatable, and we're not unduly worried or anything just yet (well, as unworried as you can be about cancer), but, y'know, fuck off cancer, none of us need or want you around. My dad's done nothing to deserve this. And he'll beat it, because cancer needs more people to put it in its place and make sure it really does fuck off.

(thanks for good wishes, Trayce and Kerr, but I'm deliberately not talking about it, here or anywhere else. Outside of my immediate family, I think two people know details. I'd like to keep it that way for now.)

a good friend in his mid 50s was diagnosed w/prostate c 2 years ago, had the organ removed and ever since has seemed to be free & clear and on the rebound. until yesterday: i got word that his latest PSA test went thru the roof so it's probably back & spread somewhere else. he'll have to undergo radiation treatment. and yeah, he's got a young child.

fuck fuck and double fuck. though I was mightily impressed and inspired by how my friend dealt w/it all, exhibiting psychological as well as physical resilience, this is a major setback.

Ailsa, I wish I'd known that on Sunday but can understand why you might not have said anything! I also believe that cancer can fuck right off because my own dad has it and my life has become a rollercoaster since February. Fingers crossed that it's early stages as hoped.

My mom had it a couple of times. Her immune system's fucked as a result. But she survived (non-Hodgkins and breast cancer). Cancer scares the fuck outa me. :-(

Thanks everyone, and my prayers for those going through it all still. Is it just me or is cancer everywhere nowadays? It's like everyone I know has brushes with it now. Is the government trying to kill us off? Or is it just modern life? Plastic ice cube trays? Teflon? wtf? Me and my bf have been shoveling green tea and blueberries down our throats ever since.

xpost- she was the coolest! evah!

oh, no... you asked for advice here for getting treatment without insurance, didn't you? i am so, so sorry to hear that things ended this way. it's horrifying. my sympathies to you and to everyone on this thread.

django, I don't know, but it certainly seems like cancer is hitting younger people more often to me. Aside from my friend (who is probably in surgery this hot minute!), there's one other person from my college graduating class who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Anecdotal evidence is meaningless, I know, but it is very scary.

yeah lauren, that was me. thanks again to you and table and everyone else who offered your help. we tried our best, but it was just too late apparently. although we all thought she'd be fine. nobody thought we'd lose her that fast. sucks to hell. but good luck to your friend Sara! that surgery sounds intense. I hope her spirits are doing okay. It's hard enough being an observer but I can't imagine how scary that must be! I hope she has a good doctor.

When you hear that a friend has something you can't put cancer on notice that you're going to kick its ass or anything. You can't throw money at it and hope it respects you for that. You can only start trying to bargain with God or science or whatever and feeling helpless. Fuck this and fuck cancer.

I love this thread because I have needed it twice now and it's good to know it's here.

FUCK cancer. Lung, in particular.
RIP Tara. May 11, 1972 - September 13, 2007.

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u196/raelynne333/Tara807.jpg

35 years old. Jesus, Kate. Love to you.

My sympathies to you .

I lost my dad (age 59) to lung cancer back in October. Awful all around. Please, friends, don't smoke.

my sympathies as well. such a beautiful, happy looking girl.

:-((((( My neighbour has cancer. Stomach cancer.

lost someone last week--not close but very close to someone who is. and i've seen far too much of this shit in my life. best to everyone.

fuck you fucking cancer. I can't stand it fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you.

I hate whenever this thread is revived. mostly because that big defiant FUCK YOU ( fuck off cancer, none of us need or want you around. My dad's done nothing to deserve this. And he'll beat it, because cancer needs more people to put it in its place and make sure it really does fuck off) i posted up there isn't quite going to plan, but also because no-one revives it with good news.

this thread really fucks me up because there is so much pain in it but I am so glad it's here and that Colin started it because I needed it so bad last year and I need it so bad again.

Keep the faith, J0hn.

My dad who was also my best friend died at age 51, when I was 21. But I find it hard to get mad at cancer, I'm not sure what that even means. Just cursing fate? I don't do that either.

Sympathies to anyone who has dealt with/is dealing with this.

But here's a FUCK YOU to the Cancer Industry and FUCK YOU x 1,000,000, to FUCKING INSURANCE.

my mom is dying of cancer :(

Todd I lost my mother-in-law to it a few months ago. You know how to find me if you need to vent, it's a fucking ocean of pain, this disease.

J0hn and all, my heart grieves for you. We lost my father-in-law a year ago, to colon cancer. So quickly, so painfully, it was found in late September, and he was gone before Thanksgiving.

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/7945/bruceii6.jpg

I'm sorry I caused all that cancer. I didn't realize it was such a hideous disease.

I'm sorry I caused all that throat cancer and all that bowel cancer. I was just on a roll. And I won't do it again.

good activities for someone (a contemporary) with reduced lung function?

A gentle form of yoga maybe.

hmm, v hard for me to imagine this person doing yoga. i was thinking of ways to entertain her.

fuck you cancer fuck you I am back here in a damn dressing room helpless crying for my friend fuck you cancer fuck you.

john i'm so sorry.

fuck you, cancer

Fucking piece of shit. You fucking piece of shit. Motherfucking piece of shit. You fucking, you fuck, fuck, fuck you.

I wish I could say something to make it better, John. Big love. xok

i was thinking of ways to entertain her.

i guess the answer is "be entertaining"

Past colleague of mine has just sent an email effectively saying goodbye to everyone he knows. He's in his 30s. I'm in a really bad mood now.

I am so so sorry and I send you and your colleague love & strength & hope

Thanks. He looked great last time I saw him so mentally it's difficult to reconcile.

His wife is really sweet too. She must be a mess.

Even when it's absent, cancer can mess with people. My mother found a lump in her breast a few weeks ago and they did a biopsy/lumpectomy, which came back negative, no problems there. But then my parents went off to Arizona to visit my uncle (who's recovering from HIS throat-cancer chemo) for two weeks, and while they were gone, infection settled into the biopsy site. They got home and my mom was in the hospital the very next day for a five-day spell -- she went home yesterday.

But here's a thing I didn't know -- I knew that my grandmother who lived to 111 had had breast cancer. I figured it was back when she was in her 70s or 80s, when I was a little kid. Turns out she'd had it before my mother was born, and was treated for it in the late 1920s.

xpost - Yes, it can. My mom had breast cancer 2.5 years ago and had a mammogram today that thankfully was clear. She's been a wreck stressing about it for weeks though and emotionally the fear really takes a toll.

AA - I'm so sorry for you and and your friend and know how hard that can be to watch someone go through. One of my favorite colleagues from London was diagnosed with a brain tumor shortly after I moved back to the US. He wrote me an email checking in and wishing me luck on my then upcoming wedding. He passed away a couple weeks later and I realized then that it was his way of saying goodbye. Fuck Cancer. I'll send good thought your and his way.

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

We were not very close, but we did chat an awful lot, and shortly before I left the company (1.5 years ago) I had drinks at his place. I added him as a Facebook friend because I really don't know what else to do. He's still a friend ffs; I'd add anyone else I knew at that company.

Compounding that is a current work colleage who on Friday is having an operation that has a 2% death rate. I wish to curse this thing as well.

my mom is now really dying of cancer. at hospice and basically unresponsive :(

seriously brutal stuff.

:(

So sorry to hear that.

oh todd that is awful, i'm very sorry too.

Oh Todd. I wish I could hug you. :-(

:-((((( My neighbour has cancer. Stomach cancer

He has died in the meantime. A lady was talking about him. She was saying:"Oh man, I never go to the doctor! I had this lump when I was young, IT WENT AWAY BY ITSELF!" Not too long after my neighbour had died, she fell off the stair, went to the hospital and found out she had advanced liver cancer. She's also dead. :-(

Todd, I am really sorry to hear about your Mom.

I'm sure a lot of people here just don't know what to say to you, Todd, but are thinking about you just the same.

i feel deep sadness for everyone who has to go through this awful experience - it hurts my stomach just thinking about it. in the spirit of this thread i also have to say:
cancer can fuck itself and fuck off into a black hole in deepest fucking space

That's fucking horrible, Todd. Love to you.

I hate looking at this thread because there's no way I can come close to expressing appropriate sympathy over the Internet, but I have to keep coming back because it's like a magnet.

So about all I can say is this:

I'm sorry.

thanks to everyone for the kind thoughts.

my mom passed away on wednesday... on her 57th birthday

Terrible news.

My deepest sympathies Todd.

I'm sorry Todd.

Oh that's awful. My deepest sympathies.

:(

Love and strength to you now Todd.

I'm really sorry, todd. love to you.

my prayers and sympathy are with you, todd.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sending good thoughts your way.

Take care Todd. Take care everyone.

todd, my sincerest sympathies.

my deepest condolences, todd.

awful news. sorry todd

Todd, I'm sorry. That is a shame and I am sending love to you.

Condolences here from me too, my dad had cancer all of last year, was cured and then fate shellgamed him a fatal heart attack at the beginning of December.

Todd, sympathies and condolences. I don't have enough angry words in my vocabulary to tell cancer what it can go do to itself instead of inflicting itself on others. I tried telling it to fuck off as best I could upthread, but it marches on relentlessly.

Past colleague of mine has just sent an email effectively saying goodbye to everyone he knows. He's in his 30s. I'm in a really bad mood now.

-- Autumn Almanac, Wednesday, 26 March 2008 12:36 (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

He passed a couple of weeks ago. This I discovered five minutes ago through social networking. Fuck the internet.

really sad news, sorry to hear.

my friend's dad just died of cancer.

sigh, what a wonderful year.

:( dads are the worst.

My Mom is having a biopsy today on a mass on her kidney that the doctor said is "likely malignant". I won't know anything concrete until this afternoon but still fuck even the possibility of cancer.

Favorite uncle = tonsil cancer. Totally sucks. FUCK CANCER.

ENBB, hang in there.

Was at a funeral yesterday for yet another relative lost to cancer. Fuck off already, cancer, you bastard.

so sorry, all.

an extremely close family friend has salivary gland cancer, and my father told me last week that i should consider visiting sooner rather than later. fuck cancer, and fuck the world-renowned health care facility whose doctors advocated a "wait and see" approach.

In the past four weeks:

The brother -- and only sibling -- of a dear friend here in LA. (He leaves behind not only his relatives but his wife and a two year old son.)

And, on another level but no less fraught -- the beloved pet beagle of another dear friend. She was old but even so.

My aunt was just diagnosed with advanced cancer of the liver, lung and brain. She has two children, 10 and 12. I'm going to visit her and my uncle for a week to ... I don't know, really.

Oh, I'm so sorry lukas and to everyone else as well.

My mom is currently having the biopsy done as I type so now I get to just sit here and wait.

grandma on mom's side has malignant uterine cancer. one doc says there's nothing more they can do, but she's getting a second opinion from someone with better qualifications.

fuck.

won't you have to wait a few days for the results on the biopsy?

I really feel for you.

nope - the Dr. just called my father and told him that it is cancer and he recommends removal of the kidney.

oh geez e, i'm so sorry.

you should like leave work now.

:-(

I'm sorry too.

me too.

I'm always kinda suckerpunched when I see this thread on New Answers. Anyway, my brother-in-law passed three years ago and I'm still cursing.

Oh fuuuck, E, I am so sorry, I'm getting a sick chill down my back just imagining getting that news. Still, what's one kidney more or less? Yank that little fucker NOW.

I have a friend who's sister has cancer in both breasts and she's shilly-shallying about the double mastectomy -- I mean body identity blah blah sure but HI, would you like to see 37? THEN DO IT.

:-( I'm sorry about your brother-in-law.

Thanks guys. The cancer is very small so probably treatable but she had breast cancer three years ago and that really through her for a loop psychologically so I'm more afraid of what this will do in that respect. She was already going through a really tough time and this was caught (thankfully) almost by accident. I'm afraid of the emotional impact of the diagnosis. Fuck.

oops - x-post

Also, thanks Laurel.

E, how did it get caught? (if you dont mind saying)

Kidney cancer one of the more treatable, survivable kinds. Best wishes anyway.

SS - She's been in the hospital for a week for other reasons but hadn't been to a doc in a long time was not feeling well generally so they did full work up series of tests and it was suspected then. I think CBC -> urinalysis -> sonogram -> biopsy.

I know it's treatable and has a great survival rate but I'm not so sure that she will understand that.

the psychological part must be just a huge part of it.

Yeah and the breast cancer totally destroyed her emotionally even though she's in remission now. Shit. OK, I'm going home.

Thanks again guys.

I'm thinking about when I found out my dad had it. A terrible moment but we humans do have some sort of reserve of strength for these "this changes everything" moment. A grit or resolve that rises up and serves at the very first to anesthetize the grief a bit.

But I hope for ENBB and her mom the cancer is treatable.

A grit or resolve that rises up and serves at the very first to anesthetize the grief a bit.

i have to work on this in those moments

I spoke to her and she sounded better than I'd expected but I think that's probably the initial shock reaction. We'll know more tomorrow but I'm trying to remain optimistic. Still, fuck you cancer you fucking fuck.

I'm sorry, ENBB. I have (another) aunt who's had multiple cancers, and each new diagnosis was more devastating to her.

First answer on this thread still OTM.

I'm glad to hear it looks treatable, but I'm very sorry your family's got to endure this. Stay strong.

You know what? FUCK CANCER! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

A couple folks here might know Tony Dale and/or his label Camera Obscura. Anyway, his wife Carol just sent me this on Facebook...

--------------------
Subject: News about Tony

Dear all,

Sorry to do this this way, but Tony is not well and has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkinson's lymphoma. We are starting chemotherapy today and they are extremely hopeful that this can be beaten. It is fairly common and responses very well to chemotherapy.

We have set up a website, through an organisation called caring bridge that allows us to update everybody on progress, and for people to send messages etc. The link is:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/tonydale

As you are all aware, updating everybody is hard work, so this is an easier way of doing that.

This doesnt mean we dont want you to call or visit or email separately.

We know that you are thinking of us and please continue to do this.

love

Carol
--------------------

that is so fucked, tony is a great guy, an asset to music and has put out so many fantastic things on his label. best of wishes to him and his family.

Echoing all that. A damn, damn shame he's been stricken with this but I'll retain the hope echoed in Carol's post that it'll all come out right in the end.

Very good friend's dad just got diagnosed with lung cancer, metastasized to the liver. Fuck you, cancer. I know, people have to die of something and you kill about 1/3 of everyone in the western world - it's pretty weird we don't seem to be able to accept that and we still treat you like some kind of rare bad luck/avoidable thing, but still, fuck you. Srsly.

Photo saves toddler's life

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/itn/20080827/tuk-photo-saves-toddler-s-life-dba1618.html

thank god this was caught, obviously.

Mrs Robb said: "Her mother had said the colour of the eye had been changing.

"She had an idea that something was wrong already. But she had no idea that it could be cancer."

...

If the cancer hadn't been discovered for another week it could have reached her brain and killed her.

but what kind of mother notices a darkening in a toddlers eye and doesn't take her directly to hospital? is US health care really that frightening that you wouldn't go to a doctor as soon as you noticed this?

Oh my gosh!

Some people are really recalcitrant to do doctor visits (even for kids), insurance or not, and I don't get it.

Interesting fact: my mom discovered my youngest bro had diabetes when she noticed the drops of pee he left on the toilet seat were really sticky (ie hugh glucosed out). Thank god eight-year-old boys can't aim to save their lives.

Also also:

FUCK CANCER
CANCER YOU WILL DIE

cancer be not proud

I don't go to the doctor unless it's very serious, but it's more out of stubbornness and stupidity than anything. Last time (I think it was 2002?) it was pneumonia + a stomach virus and I hallucinated for two days.

i'm so overdue for a trip

found out recently that an acquaintance (i'm not very close to him but he used to date a very close friend of mine) has leukemia :(

Man you ILXors in lol college better take advantage of cheap student health center visits while you still can!!! I go in no matter how minor the malady. "My ear's feeling odd." "Quit using Q-Tips." "Thanks, doc!"

Like I found out it's $30 for a microdermabrasion at my health center. !!! I don't need to get one, but I was wicked surprised they even offered it there. Maybe I should go for my ACNE.

i start school again next week and that is basically the first thing i'm doing

fuck you cancer, you took my last living grandparent.

so sorry! my condolences :(

was thinking about this thread the other day. My GF and I are going to do more work in Peru and we were gonna go with a good friend and her 12-year old son. Last week the friend's mom was diagnosed with some bad kind of mouth cancer and she's eating $2700 worth of tickets and not going so that she can spend these last few months with her mom. Fuck you, cancer.

This thread could use some good news...

Tony asked me to post this:

To our dear friends and family,

The day has finally arrived. The champagne has been opened!!!

As of Monday, Tony is officially in remission. If nothing happens in the next five years, he will be classified as cured. There will be three monthly checks etc.

We still have the hip problem to check out and of course, the aneurysm to fix - but one thing at a time.

NO MORE LYMPHOMA!!!

Again, I personally would like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your lovely words, encouragement, prayers and vibes through this whole period. We love you all

Carol

great news!

Marvellous!

:)

father in law, apparently. although he is being weird an uncommunicative about it and not clear on what is going on; tumor on the lung and maybe in the lymph nodes, or something. dealing with three different languages and cranky old people who refuse treatment so it's all a bit "huh?"

sweet!

this sounds familiar
If nothing happens in the next five years, he will be classified as cured. There will be three monthly checks etc.

but it sure is better than the alternative

Amen to that!

As of my uncle's last visit to the hospital, he has 4-12 weeks.
I am immensely worried about his wife and daughters, even considering moving back to Rhode Island.

This is the thread where we cry about cancer.

It is a horrible feeling to know that the next time I'll see someone I love very much, he will be in a casket. I spent maybe 20 minutes with him over Christmas, playing Mario Kart on the wii. Most days he's only out of bed for an hour or two.

Who knew that while Kevin was in Vietnam keeping America save from Communism, he was also exposing himself to new & untested chemicals? Who knew that these chemicals would give him a rapidly spreading cancer, killing him in half a year?

Best to you all, Ian. And who knew indeed.

sorry ian. That's bad.

Sister's best friend visited today -- having both breasts removed soon. Fuck you cancer.

I am terrified to think of the cancer rates when I get older.

Fuck you cancer.

I'm sorry, Ian.

This December has been a super sucky month, and cancer has really been playing a part.

Ian I am so sorry. I have had to visit this thread at least twice in panic and fear and dread. My heart's with you.

Ugh, this thread.
Hang in there, Ian.

Oh, and FUCK YOU, CANCER.

Very aprt: I found out today my grandfather has cancer. Good news is that it hasn't affected the vital organs (yet) and he doesn't need chemo as it'll develop very slowly. At this age they usually opt for meds that slow it down. I knew it already as my gran had mentioned something vague (she wasn't sure she had heard it right, but I figured it was probably the case...) Still DAMN. I feel a bit... weird. Not a slap in the face I wanna cry but a slow brooding sadness. I don't wanna talk too much about it so I'll just shut up and return to denial mode.

FUCK YOU CANCER.

My grandfather too, the sweetest, most generous person I've ever met.

FUCK YOU CANCER, YOU FUCKING FUCK.

What type does he have, Gooblar? I was all pretty mellow and shit about it. But after obtaining the name of the type of cancer - Kahler's disease - I'm hit with the inevibility of impending death. You know at 83 death is not far off, but I wish it wasn't this way. It seems a rather harsh painful death in the end.

Back to denial mode. Look it's nice weather.

agree about the weather...but fuck cancer...in the last month alone, my brother and a dear friend of mine got the news...they're both in their 40's...

Ah dude, that's awful. Just plain awful. You have my deepest sympathies. This is why I can put it in perspective: my grandfather is 83 years old. He's been healthy all his life. Hugs, Henry, really.

thank you

surgery for the former, chemo for the latter, and I'll be rallying for both...in a weird way, it helps put the economic crisis into perspective for me...I mean, there's only so much worry in a person...

It looks like my Uncle is in his last days, and according to those at home is either in incredible pain, or too doped up on painkillers to recognize anyone around him. I was told, in fact, that it might be easier if I didn't go home to visit until "after."

Fuck cancer for robbing three wonderful girls of their father, for taking a loving husband from my aunt Paula, and fuck cancer for making everyone on this thread hurt so much.

Condolences, Ian. This is some truly horrible shit. xoxo

RIP Kevin Stacey, by far one of the smartest people I've ever had the luck to know.

Condolences indeed. Sounds like he was a treasure.

RIP

ian, hugs. this disease is so awful. the pain it creates for everyone.

Thank you guys, and also for the kind words on Facebook and e-mail.
We will be scattering his ashes this spring at a lake near where he (and his wife, daughters) lived in New York State.

Ah, man. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, ian.

CANCER - YOU FUCKING SUCK.

So a friend -- more a friend of a couple of friends of mine but anyway -- has been going through radiation treatment for thyroid cancer recently and based on the first-person accounts of the massive pain this is all resulting in, y'know, cancer, fuck you.

Girl I know, about my age, is going through chemo just now. Just fuck off already.

(cancer, not the girl I know, obviously. I'd like her to stick around for quite some time)

A friend is having a painful and debilitating cancer-related operation soon. Plus my mum had breast cancer in 1971, which didn't help her overall health and possibly contributed to her eventual death in some way. So,

FUCK YOU CANCER.

That feels a bit better.

my dad was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer, seems like they caught it early so optimistic about treatment which has already begun.

Early diagnosis is good with prostate cancer - my dad was diagnosed about two years ago (I told it to fuck off on this thread then), hasn't received any treatment for it, and it hasn't progressed any further (he is being monitored regularly for it in case treatment becomes a necessity rather than an option).

Seriously, FUCK cancer.

so my wife, age 35, has a breast lump. our initial hope that it would be dismissed as a cyst by the doctor vanished when she ordered a mammogram. mammogram and ultrasound revealed that it was actually four lumps, all still rather small. but now they have to do a biopsy. I'm completely baffled; she has no family history, is young, has never worked around toxics or anything weird like that, and these showed up quickly and out of the blue as far as we can tell; she had blood work four months ago to check other stuff and everything was normal. hoping for the best but my horrible brain rushes to the worst conclusions at all time.

Best to all -- I can make the same kind of rush to a conclusion so I can only imagine.

Oh, akm, that has to be horribly draining at best. All best to both of you.

Cheers, akm.

I had a friend with something similar but it turned out ok.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Best wishes akm, i didn't see this the first time around.

yeah, all the best. hopefully small lumps = caught early = treatable, whatever it is.

A family member has just had a tumour removed. He's about the same age as me (mid-30s). Seriously, cancer, just fuck off already.

Best wishes akm

The very best.

Lost my mom to breast cancer last year. Stupid cancer. :/

Lady ILXors, please don't skip your checkups.

:( I'm really sorry to hear that Polyphonic. There are THREE breast cancer survivors on my mom's side of the family, including her. Always gotten lucky with early diagnosis.

Akm - I'm so sorry to hear that you and your wife are going through this. It's so hard. My mom had breast cancer about five years ago and the whole experience it's just to tough. Best wishes.

please tell me people survive this thing

people do akm.

Sending good thoughts out to you and especially to your wife. That's really shitty and scary. Please keep us up on things.

my mom had it 16-17 years ago, in her mid-forties. she caught it very early and beat the bastard.

we can't tell how early it is. it seems like it came out of nowhere. the RN said it wasn't super early, but it wasn't late either.

akm, i'm truly sorry about this. people do survive it, all the time. everyone i personally know who has had it has survived it, so well that it doesn't terrify me like it used to, though of course it is still very difficult not to go straight into worst-case scenario thinking when someone you love dearly is going through it. my very best wishes to you both.

akm btw I webmailed you

wow, akm. really, best wishes. i'm sorry, it must be scary.

please tell me people survive this thing

I don't know if you remember the thread where I talked about my grandmother who lived to 111...? I found out last year that she had breast cancer in her twenties. So hell yeah, people survive this. Best wishes to you and your wife.

AKM in addition to my mom who I mentioned earlier and is now nearly going on 5 years clean, my grandmother had breast cancer in her 50s and is now 88. She never had a recurrence or any other kind of cancer. Ppl do survive this kind of thing - all the time.

AKM, how are you and your wife doing? My mom survived breastcancer! She even had Non Hodgkin's afterwards.

Our neighbour's son, aged about 44, died of cancer. Found a "weird spot" on his arm in may. He went to the doctor to discover it was skin cancer. Sadly it had spread out and already attacked the liver. He died a week or so ago.

I'm coming here to curse cancer and wish health and strength to my friend Jason.

hi, my wife is doing okay under the circumstances. she's almost a fifth of the way through her chemo treatment (which isn't much but it's something). she has lost her hair already and a lot of her energy. other people (family, friends) are a huge drain right now with their stupid dramas, etc. But, all things considered, it has been less horrible than we expected it to be. Still no fun though. I hope Jason does well with whatever his particular strain of this shit thing is, I saw your FB update today, my best wishes.

Fuck you cancer.
akm's wife, and Jason, I wish you both the best.
After losing my uncle to cancer earlier this year, my grandfather has now been diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a type of blood cancer. He's undergoing chemo, apparently doing well, and ha even gained some weight since the diagnosis (which took a long time to pin down.)

akm, my only advice, probably obvious, is to try not to let your family & friends distract you from the goal right now, which is your wife's health. imo cancer is one of the scariest things we have to face as human adults in the 21st century--war is distant, poverty is a problem for another continent, but when a sickness hits someone close to you it's impossible not to be overwhelmed and totally frightened. But people are thinking of you to be sure, and modern medical technology can be amazing. Three women in my family (mother, grandmother, aunt) have beaten breast cancer without lasting damage done, and I hope your wife is as fortunate. My thoughts are with you.

My friend Christian lost his four-year-old daughter to leukemia last year. This week his wife had some health issues (not life-threatening) that put her in the hospital for a few days, and they gave her a room in the hospital her daughter had been at the previous year ... and in the children's wing because there was space there. While visiting, Christian happened upon some of the daughter's toys they'd donated. Pretty rough.

I feel so bad for them, and for their one-year-old son who'll never meet his sister, as he was born shortly after his sister passed away.

Anyway, once again ... fuck you, cancer.

It must be so heartbreaking losing your child. I can't even begin to imagine. And then being in the hospital and seeing her toys.

so we got some good news, finally; my wife's tumor has shrunk down to about a fifth of the size it was a month ago, this after just four chemo treatments (and sixteen more to go); also, the results of some genetic testing came back on the tumor itself and the prognostics regarding recurrance probability are now around 0. Without chemo it would have only been about 30%. So, it's good to know all this shit is going to pay off.

That's very good news. Hope things start getting easier.

That's really good news, AKM. Keep yer head up.

Echoing, and good thoughts for all!

Oh, that's great news!

Hear, hear!

http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/8104/fuckcancer.jpg

no one? alright, then, I'll start: My fucking sister is dying of cancer. Fuck you, cancer!

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/6709/ed209.jpg

Aw, Pillbox, that fucking blows. Wanna talk about it? How old is she? What sort of cancer?

I just don't know what to say, except FUCK CANCER. Hugs, Pillbox.

Aw, Pillbox. I am so so sorry.

Jesus, I barely remember posting this stuff last night, much less doing that ED-209 shop upthread. Mods, if you want to delete that, go ahead. It is pretty morbid & others using this thread for their own venting may want to see less-cynical cancer cursing.

Anyway, yeah, I just got this news yesterday & proceeded to hit the whiskey pretty hard. I'll write more about it later.

Pillbox, that's understandable in light of bad news and worse anguish.

That's terrible, I'm so sorry. I'm sure nobody will fault you for being as cynical and angry as you want.

Fucking A, Pillbox, that's shitty! Give your sister some extra hugs for me while I punch cancer in its ugly face a few more times.

I'll write more about it later.

To give some context to my drunken attempts at catharsis upthread: My sister Kathi, age 49 (she is 17 years older than me), was first diagnosed with adrenal cancer in early 2001, when a minor collision with a rogue snowboarder while skiing left her with abnormally severe abdominal pain. Upon inspection, it was revealed that she had a gigantic tumor hiding in her viscera. The tumor was surgically removed & she underwent chemo to eradicate whatever trace elements of the cancer may have also sprouted up in the area. After all was said & done, she was told that the cancer had an 80% chance of recurring within a year, with said percentage being reduced by 50% each successive year in which the cancer did not occur.

*A note on adrenal cancer: while it originates in the adrenal gland, adrenal cancer is not specific to any location of the body, so it is especially insidious b/c it can pop up anywhere. Also, it is rare, so there are not a lot of tried & true methods for dealing with it.

By 2004, there had been no signs of the cancer's return &, three years on, there seemed to be very little chance of it coming back at all. Miraculously, it looked as though my sister was in the clear. In the fall of that year, my sister & her family relocated from MI to NC & as a matter of course, my sister started consulting a new physician in her area. The new guy ran a different series of preliminary exams & discovered that the same type of cancer was in her bones, and perhaps had been all along. Adrenal cancer, when it occurs in one's bones, operates essentially in the same fashion as regular bone cancer, meaning it is basically inoperable, unstoppable & you are at the mercy of its whims. So, yeah, this was not good news.

Five years later, my sister has drastically outlived even the most optimistic of initial prognostications. During this time, she has essentially been playing a game of whack-a-mole with her own body: when the cancer would flair up, different methods (usually involving some form of chemo) would be employed to keep it at bay. She has been involved with various drug trials, some of which worked for a while, all of which she was ultimately disqualified from for technical reasons. In fact, most of us had gotten so used to her rolling with the punches & toughing this out (this is a testament to her resolve - very few people would have the strength and tenacity to subject themselves to what she has endured for the sake of survival), that it was easy to forget the underlying deathly seriousness of her illness.

While the first portion of the year saw her reaching new levels of severity in terms of the cancer's attack (new tumors on her spine & liver; embattled immune system giving way to other nasty things, like shingles), there was a recent hopeful upswing in that she had qualified for a new drug trial, the first one ever to specifically combat adrenal cancer. Initially, her body was responding well to this & it seemed she would be battling on into the future and then.. last week, news came that she had been taken off the trial b/c of lowered albumen levels & almost simultaneously, she landed back in the hospital w/ a fluid-filled lung. Then, on Sunday, I got a call from her. The cancer is attacking the shit out of her lungs & liver & there is nothing that can be done. She is not expected to make it to Christmas.

So yeah, the last few days haven't been too awesome. I've basically swung from panic/alcohol-fueled rage (Sunday), to stultifying depression (Monday), to an odd measure of calm acceptance (the last two days) that will surely be torn asunder when I join my family in NC next week to wait out the final days of this ugly fiasco. I have never had to deal with real grief. I have had friends die over the years, but never anyone really close. I am very scared of what the upcoming weeks will hold, but if my sister has the phenomenal strength and grace to have persevere against ridiculous circumstances, I can find a sliver of such in my own resolve as I help my family endure this final stretch.

Sorry this post is so long, but the story is not a short one by nature, which is probably why I haven't posted it here before. Thank you for reading this & your kind words. I don't know many of you outside of ILX, & none IRL but, esp. having observed how ILX handled Bimble's death, I realize that having you all out there pulling for one another in dark times really can be an invaluable resource. I will update accordingly as this situation unfolds, but I will be pretty busy for the next week or so, running around tying up loose ends, finishing work & then heading to NC.

Pillbox that's just heartbreaking, and I'm in awe your sister has fought so hard for so long with this! What a woman :) I hope you and your family find all the stength you need as you go through this journey.

Pillbox-- that's a really awful thing for your sister, and also for you to go through as someone who loves her. I don't know how far apart you guys are (geographically) but if it's possible for you to see her I can't recommend enough that you do go and spend time together, even if you're not talking or actively doing anything. One of my things I regret most about this past year was seeing so little of my uncle before he passed away.

xpost: thank you! Her essential strength & absurdly indefatigable optimism have already served as a massive inspiration to me during some of my own dark struggles & her legacy will surely do so many more times throughout the years, not just for me, but pretty much for everyone who has known her.

ian: yes, perhaps I didn't make this clear enough. I am going to NC next week & will be staying there until the end, whether it be soon, or even if she outlasts current expectations (which wouldn't really be too surprising). I am a graphic/web designer by trade & my work is portable, so thankfully I'll simply be able to relocate for this stretch without having to uproot too much.

Yeah, Ian is so OTM. I am so glad that I spent a lot of time with my mom before her passing... even before we knew she wouldn't make it. I spent 1 1/2 years after college hanging around the house and taking her to treatments when I could have gotten a job. I wouldn't trade any amount of money for that time I spent with her.

Just found out that my best friend's husband may have testicular cancer. Kinda dizzy. He's 23.

Sorry to hear about that, Hoos. Fuck cancer! At least testicular cancer is, by most accounts, highly treatable, esp. if diagnosed early, the last thing a dood needs is cancer in his damn balls!

Update on my situation: My sister met with her hospice doctor for the first time yesterday (this is a guy who is used to dealing w/ people during their final stages of cancer battle) & despite the recent prognosis (detailed upthread), he thinks that, based on my sister's cognition, energy-level & general demeanor, that the endgame is likely not as impending as originally predicted. There still is no backing out of the cancer's current stage, unfortunately, but she will likely have more time. How much? I suppose that can't really be predicted. As such, I've postponed my relocation to NC until mid-November or so. I'm still definitely going, but at least all the whirlwind urgency of last week seems to have scaled back a bit (for now).

*sorry, that second sentence was badly constructed, but you get the idea..

Best for everyone, Pillbox. I can't even begin to imagine the tenterhooks all of you are living on.

i'm so sorry, pillbox. and hoos. my cousin died last month from lymphoma, nine months after his doctors told him they couldn't help him beyond palliative care, and it's been really sad to lose him, he was a very great person. also my sister-in-law, who is also very great, has just found out she has breast cancer in one breast and several lymph nodes so i'm sad about her as well, i know she has some very unpleasant treatments ahead of her.

Thanks Ned & estela. This point has been on the horizon for the last five years, so we've all had plenty of time to brace ourselves. Still, my sister's tenacity through all of the twists and turns allowed us to become a little too comfortable, perhaps, with the idea of her continued persistence. Now that the final hand has been dealt, it seems, the situation has become emotionally jarring, to say the least. Oddly, the person who seems least phased by it is my sister. She is tough as nails.

it's sort of disgusting to me that i had find out about an old friend's passing on facebook...but you lose touch i guess. : (

fuck cancer.

it happened.

we just got the call. I am posting this mostly as a snapshot of a moment, as I keep phoning my girlfriend over and over (sleeping, ringer off probably) & while my parents, in the other room, call my other siblings with the news. Odd that ILX will now know about this before some of my immediate family. My initial reaction is a sort of passive numbness, the same ashen neutral of the coming dawn on the horizon. That will change drastically with the phone calls and the plans and the scrambling onrush of visitors, all shortly to follow.

i'll be back later, after the dust has settled a bit.

I'm so sorry.

Me too. Knowing it's coming really doesn't make it any easier. Hang in there.

Terribly sorry to hear this, I'm wishing all the best for you and your family.

Steve, I'm so very sorry to hear this.

That's truly horrible. Best wishes, P. and as for cancer, FUCK YOU CANCER!! WHY YOU GOTTA BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE YOU FUCKIN' FUCK!!!!!?!!!?!

thank you for the thoughts, ppl. I'm drunk now. So, I don't thing posting too much would be a wise act. I'll open up dialog on this on a different thread later on. This is beyond cusing cancer at this point, anyway.

So sorry to hear this, pbox.

so sorry, my condolences to you and your family.

fuck, i'm sorry pillbox. she was really special though, sounds like fought a lot harder and made it a lot farther than many predicted she would. hope you're ok.

a relatively close cousin of mine (she's 18) is undergoing tests for what we think may be cancer of her hypothalamus, which is freaking us out. we lost another cousin of mine, who was 22, seven or eight years ago to cancer

I want to drive to where you are and give you a big big hug. I'm so sorry

thx again ppl..

lil' fookin kev ya: thanks man. my sister was a goddam skyscraper &, as a man of perpetual existential crisis, she has strengthened my resolve in ways which will surely serve me well in the years to come. I am proud to be cut from such fabric.

I can only add my condolences.

Pillbox, I don't know what to say. Just that tears well up. I feel so exceptionally sorry for you, your parents and everyone around her.

my best and love to you PB.

My condolences and love to all your family.

i'm really sorry for your loss, pillbox.

Pillbox, you have my deep & heartfelt condolences. Your sister sounds like an amazing person.

Well, then.

Any advice on how to deal when it's a relative that you haven't really been super buddy-buddy with all your life? My father got the news this morning -- lung, lymphatic system, inoperable, widespread.

I'm so sorry.

Pillbox and WmC, my heart goes out to you and your families.

My condolences to you both.

very sorry pillbox.

thx again ppl. I'll post a bit more about the goings-on of the past few days after I've moved on from it a bit. Suffice it to say that the process has been sufficiently exhausting.

WmC - I don't have anything to say other than that I'm very sorry. Having dealt w/ all of what's been discussed upthread, I'd be happy to discuss things with you if you send me a webmail.

There is no playbook for this, obv. Based on my experience, tho, here are a couple pieces of advice: First of all, take whatever time off you can from whatever you do & try to spend as much time w/ your father as you can. But if he is in a fragile state already, I would try to keep time spent b/w the two of you as lighthearted & just about "enjoying life" as possible. One thing my sister had a hard time with was a procession family & friends coming through wanting to have the "goodbye conversation" & it was eating her up emotionally to the extent that my bro-in-law felt compelled to initiate an immediate-family-only policy & actually had to take on the impossible task of having to turn away other relatives & such, all of whom had nothing but the best intentions. So yeah, unless you have some major unresolved conflict or something, I would remain close but try to let him decide how he wants his time with you to be spent, so he can make the most out of what time he has left.

Also, if you don't live in the same area & see him often, be esp. mindful of the dynamic b/w him and whoever is in his day-to-day inner circle. With my sister, one thing that was hard for both myself & my parents was determining how much space & leeway to allot her & her immediate family. Your impulse may be to cling tightly to the situation b/c you want to spend time with & be there for your father & also to help those around him & that is only natural & good, obv. Just be aware of any protectiveness in his innermost sanctum, respect it & try to avoid agitating what may be an extremely sensitive balance of day-to-day maintenance & emotional factors that your father might be relying on to get through to the next day.

I hope all that makes sense. As you can probably tell from that, my time spent in NC has been both educational & very surreal.

pillbox and wmc, i am so sorry. my sympathy goes out to you and your families.

Thank you guys. Thank you especially for your insight, Pillbox -- this is going to be completely strange new emotional territory for me. Three of my grandparents died before I had any memories of them, one lived to super old age, and my parents have always been pretty healthy -- so I've managed to make it to 46 years old without any real experience dealing with the death of a close family member. I'm adrift.

Yeah, it was the same for me. I experienced the death of three grandparents, two when I was very young & my grandma when I was older, but she had been sick for a long time & honestly, I had never been that close with her. But this whole thing is brand new for me. At least, this way, you can see it coming & come to terms with it before it happens & in the end, that helps so immensely. For me, while the memorial services were pretty wrenching (though cathartic), the hardest part was learning that the end was so near & then accepting it.

When R's dad was found to be riddled with inoperable colon cancer 2 years ago, it was like being gut-punched, even though he'd had a close call a year prior during heart bypass surgery. When he was sent home under hospice care, he didn't want to acknowledge what was happening, was so angry. No way to fix all those years of a not-great relationship in the few weeks he had anyway. So, visiting as often as we could, making sure the (grown) grandkids came with us to visit, bringing their crazy sweet dog in for comedy relief, keeping things as upbeat as possible, quietly making sure MIL was eating/taking care of herself/not smoking in the room with the O2, etc. Things worked out for R and his sister to stay very close during what turned out to be his last week. Which was hard for them, not because of their dad so much but more the helplessness of their mom. And being angry about the unfairness of it all and the futility and the fear. All you can do is take it as it comes, and recognize that whatever you're feeling about it is valid and okay, even if what you're feeling is maybe nothing, or relief.

So, the V.A. is being really really good about all this. Normally my dad has to drive to Tuscaloosa, about 3 hrs roundtrip, for doctor's visits and minor complaints and dentistry and such. But when the possibility of cancer came up and he needed a lung biopsy and a PET scan and all that specialized stuff, they said no problem -- there's a big cancer center at the hospital in Tupelo, just find a doctor there, stay close to home, we'll cover the bills. And now that a diagnosis is confirmed, they said stay close to home and close to the specialists for treatment rather than have to drive so far. So that's a big relief.

My wife has her final chemo treatment today. So far, all signs are positive; no indication of any cancer cells anywhere in her body, and some weird genetic test indicated a close to 0% of recurrance if she completes all recommended therapy (which is going to involve some amount of radiation). but the chemo has been the hardest, both physically and mentally. Cautiously optimistic, though having this is like having eaten the apple; it can't be undone, and it's impossible to think that you will ever feel safe again.

Just visited the blog of my favorite college professor to learn that she's been undergoinging chemo and radiation therapy for a fucking brain tumor for the last month or so. : (

my mom had breast cancer about twenty years ago and completely recovered without any recurrence since (fingers crossed, natch.)

good luck to your wife, sending postive thoughts.

yeah, good luck akm- glad everything is working out. A friend of a friend went into the hospital with swine flu last month and was near death but I'll be damned if she isn't coming around.

I'll say a few words tonight.

a friend who i thought was maintaining passed away yesterday. we weren't super close, but some other friends of mine grew up with him and he was an amazing dude. great dancer, great dj, and kept an incredible attitude about everything as far as i know. he was way too young and i'm sure he'll be missed by lot of people.

i think one of the worst things about cancer is how it never really goes away, it continues to haunt you and your family and friends.

our niece had a large malignant tumour removed from her kidney - plus her actual kidney - last year. she was v lucky in that all the cancer was contained and removed, and she required no chemo or radiation therapy. but now she has to go for regular cat scans to make sure it's not coming back. she went for a scan last week, which was all clear, but an x-ray showed something in her lung which they need to figure out.

so yeah: after the euphoria of finding out your cancer is pretty much gone, you then have to deal with the aftermath of worrying if/when it's going to return.

also: my sympathies to you, jordan. my best friend's other best friend is dying from cancer right now, and it's been pretty hard for her to deal with.

My cousin, age 39, with two 3-yr-old twins born nigh on 4 months premature who she's worked like hell to get to a good and safe start in life, is just starting chemo. Next up: double mastectomy and radiotherapy. Her mum died from cancer and her grandma survived it. It's a fucking good job she's a mellow person. I am not so mellow.

Whoa. Hang in there.

My mother is dead. The cancer might have been curable if certain fucking doctors weren't so fucking idiotic about their choice of immunosuppressants or about taking her off the immunosuppressants when she got an infection.

Fuck you some more, cancer. What else have you got for me?

Damn, I'm sorry TWU.

(Those who may have guessed my secret identity have some idea how crappy this situation is.)

TWU I don't know who you are but I send you so much love. So sorry for your loss.

I'm not sure either but I am so very sorry. It must be especially awful think it might have been avoided.

I'd add the same. In fact, one of the shittiest things about surviving cancer (besides IT'S BACKanoia) when I did (1973) is sitting here in the 21st century watching people get worse treatment for cancers than I got all the way back then.

Also whoa whoa whoa Justine, I did not notice the niece update! Lung shadows are VERY common with Wilms'. I had some in my initial diagnosis but fortunately, they did not show in the next x-ray. Still, it needs to be explained.

really sorry TWU

Condolences, TWU. This is awful.

Two funerals in two months.
Cancer you can fuck right off kthx,
G

Buried my father in a law today, who died of lung cancer last Sunday morning. It was the chemo that got him in the end, he'd been doing so well (18 months after a stage 4 diagnosis, three sets of chemo treatments. Even a month ago he seemed like he had years left in him). Wound up being much more devastated about it than I'd ever expected; I'd grown to love him very much in the 15 years he'd been a part of my life. I lost my own father to cigarette-related lung disease 12 years ago. I hope anyone who thinks about smoking thinks again.

In slightly better news, my wife is doing great after her breast cancer diagnosis last summer, she started radiation last week, her margins were clear when she had surgery two months ago, her chemo was extremely aggressive and wiped out what was either a stage 2b or a bunch of stage 1s (depends on who you ask, I guess; she either had one large, weirdly shaped tumor that was around 5cm or several 1cm tumors clustered very close together). Less than 1mm of cancer after chemo at the time of surgery, no reason to believe it spread anywhere else. The radiation is a huge pain in the ass time-wise so far so good.

Dear cancer,

Though my gf's dad's first post-treatment results came back pretty good this morning, how bout you go fuck yourself anyway?

rgds

i wish him all the best. my father is having surgery next week. he's already had chemo/radiation and the tumour has shrunk to almost nothing, but it's still a tricky surgery. he might have to have more chemo yet but we won't know till afterwards.

akm, i missed your update, i'm so sorry you lost your father-in-law, that is really sad. i guess your wife must be finished with her treatment by now. I dearly hope that she never has another bit of trouble with it and that you all have a much easier time ahead of you. this is so stressful and sad to deal with. and it goes on and on for so long.

^ the length of the process is deadening. it will be another 2 years before there's a final 'ok', in the best case scenario that an 'ok' arrives. i'm glad to hear there's good progress so far on your father

thanks, i'll be really glad when the surgery's over.

god, was already feeling weepy today and this thread was bumped. my best wishes to everybody in this thread. fuck cancer.

Estela I hope your dad recovers as comfortably as possible and all is well for you and yr family <3

thanks t.<3

From: This is the thread where we appreciate Tony Dale

Really sad to learn tonight of the death of Tony Dale, legendary Terrascope writer, sub-editor & Cam Obs record label founder.

Really want to stomp the shit out of cancer. Cursing isn't sufficient...

like every goddamn time someone from high school puts out an inappropriately heavy facebook note, also, my grandma. fu cancer

a local friend is battling the hell out of cancer and he & his family's determination to beat it is inspiring and amazing. worth your time.

http://thismachinekillscancer.tumblr.com/

good friend passed yesterday fuk cancer

Best wishes and a hearty "fuck cancer" to everyone who's fighting or knows or cares for someone who's fighting.

An update on my dad -- he's gone through three rounds of chemo, each of which have knocked the cancer back a good bit but not eliminated it. Fortunate enough not to have had really bad side effects, except for having a hard time staying warm last winter. The doctor's happy with where he's at compared to where he was 8 months ago, and is giving him a break from chemo for a while. He gets a couple of months to get his energy back before they decide what to do next. The doctor said he could live four months or four years, it's just hard to say. But Dad's still planning next summer's garden.

Man hang on WmC's dad we are all pulling for you!!

Johnny crunch I am sorry for your loss man.

yes, Crunchy, meant to say -- my condolences.

Thanks, Aero -- my dad's walking around on his fourth left hip joint and 2nd right knee joint, and has a pig valve in his heart. Even as he shrivels up from a strapping 6-footer into one of those tiny little wiry dudes, he's tough as hell.

Fuck the fuck out of cancer. My dad just died on Monday, five weeks after being diagnosed (after about a year of misdiagnosis, we now estimate). One strong round of chemo less than a week ago and then just a rapid decline. Just so out of the blue and unexpected. Fuck you for what you did to my dad, and fuck you for what my mom has to go through now. And only a month and a half since we lost my grandma (his mom). I'll just go ahead and curse death in general for the moment.

Condolences for all, and best wishes for WmC's dad and aerosmith's friend for sure.

Watching the services for Tony Dale and seeing his widow Carol give such a lovely set memories about him -- and then start to unavoidably break down towards the end -- well, you know, fuck you cancer, once again. You shouldn't have to make people cry like that.

RIP Laurent Fignon great French bike racer from the 80's. Won the Tour twice and got gypped on a 3rd. Lasted two years of treatment for incurable cancer. He didn't want to undergo more chemo. I was a fan of the Professor and am 100% sure he had a high pain threshold. He had bad doctors also IMO. I've been on chemo for 3.75 years. He just had his birthday (50- OK we're old).This bums me out. Curse you cancer, you suck. Literally.

RIP - and best wishes to you, soviet. keep on the NN wagon

My professor died from her tumor last week. She fought the hell out of it and had all the love in the world surrounding her. She was 44, had a 12 year old daughter and a new husband. I took three of her classes in school, but her real passion was Middle English lit and I never took that one. I'm going to go curl up in a ball and read some Chaucer. Fuck Cancer, what the hell?

i just found out a half-hour ago that a high-school/hometown friend has Acute Myeloid Leukemia. he has a wife and a son, works as a sheriff's officer (and trained to be a Navy Seal), right-wing as hell ... and i hope he doesn't die.

FUCK YOU CANCER. FUCK YOU FOR TAKING MY FRIEND AND ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE OUT OF DETROIT. FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU.

fuck this shit, taking both my mom's best friends

Can we also please curse whatever fuckers compose and send a "Cancer Update from John(sic) Hopkins!" mass email detailing bogus research findings about the immune system and dietary remedies, and the reasons why surgery and chemo don't work? Because those people are assholes.

FUCK
YOU

dude?

cancer can choke on a dick imo.

So, after spending all last summer w/my dad fighting -- successfully! -- throat cancer, now my mother has to have lymph nodes removed on Monday to be diagnosed, since a needle biopsy was inconclusive. But she's finding new lumps and they've been too persistent for it to be an infection, so the chances that it's NOT lymphoma are pretty low. God damnit.

I've got two friends fighting this shit. They will not lose. Fuck you cancer!

More family & friends than I want to think about. Right, cancer, you already had three of my grandparents and my mum's best friend, so just fuck off, OK?

just found out today that my nana - who is somewhere in her late 80s - has ovarian cancer :/

Sorry to hear that J :(

Fuck you cancer, for ravaging my cat and reducing her to a sad furry skeleton lying around in a sad puddle breaking my heart :(

And fuck you for taking Mick Karn away from us.

My mother just got her pathology results after lymph node surgery on Monday. It's definitely lymphoma. Not a lot of other details right now, she has to make an appointment with an oncologist, get a PET scan to see if it's anywhere but in her neck, and so on. But jesus fucking christ, both of my parents with cancer within 9 months of each other. Plus, a colleague I've worked with for more than 10 years just lost his mother to pancreatic cancer.

All I want to do right now is get balls-to-the-wall drunk.

Damn, Phil. I'm sorry.

my nana seems to be doing ok so far, but has yet to start chemo. the tumor they removed was 30 fucking cm across and weighed 2 fucking kilos.

My uncle just had his second round of chemo for lymphatic cancer the other day. Stubborn and stalwart old farmer type, he is. Mum was saying they (its her sister and BIL) would prob have to sell up their farm and move into town to manage the medical bills. They'd been considering selling up anyway as theyre at retirement age but... geesh.

Thoughts are with you Phil & Trayce & Justine. Christ I get really terrified sometimes; no one knows what the hell we're putting into our bodies or surrounding ourselves with is going to do to us in 20, 40, 60 years.

I'm just assuming I'll get cancer tbh :/

Had the first meeting w/my mom and the lymphoma specialist tonight. Pending a PET/CT scan and a bone marrow biopsy, he's staging her at Stage II mixed-cellularity Hodgkin's lymphoma, which is right down the middle in terms of commonality and aggressiveness. We're looking at 4-6 months of fairly aggressive chemo and some radiation at the end. He did say she'll almost certainly lose her hair. :(

brother in law (married to my sister for over 30 yrs) with brain tumour now in coma, not expected to make it the week. fuck you cancer.

Oh shit! :(

passed away last night, dude was 55. can't even start to get my head around how my sister is feeling right now

Oh shit Jim :( I'm so sorry.

Lemme know if you want to catch up or anything, you've had a pretty bad week.

cheers mate, but i'll be ok. funeral is fri, will be hard going

Will be thinking of you and yours x

Oh shit jim, so very sorry to hear that. Good vibes to your sister.

(and you, and everyone)

Damn, I'm so sorry to hear that. Sympathies for you and your sister, dude. Thats rough.

My friend Kara didn't make it. Hadn't known her since high school but was one of those people you remember as being so full of love & light -- she was the most guileless person I ever met, I think, an improver of others' days, a source of happiness. Last month via Facebook I learned that she had breast cancer and a benefit was being arranged for her back where I grew up; I chipped in & got a response back from her in mid-January, and her sweet, loving, warm energy was unchanged all these years later, and I hoped & believed it would carry her through, and she died today three days before the benefit they were gonna hold for her and the world is a worse place now than it was just two weeks ago. God keep you Kara and fuck you cancer fuck you fuck you fuck you from the last punk badge on Kara's leather jacket.

So sorry to hear about your friend, JD. xo

bastarding fucking cunt of a thing

RIP LM

oh onimo I am so sorry. sending you strength.

Thanks aero - really appreciated.

I still have two good friends fighting this shit and hopefully, so far, looking like beating it.

srsly ;_;

all the best onimo. sad to hear.

bastarding fucking cunt of a thing

Quite so.

Cancer, please stop making me feel guilty for surviving when my friends and relatives don't.

My grandpa has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, which isn't that huge of a deal to me. It sucks, but he's really old and the doctor says he has a year to live. He's lived a good, full life. But what is really bothering me is the way my mom is totally loosing her composure over this. Fuck you, cancer!

My grandma, otoh, is making sure my grandpa takes care of himself and doesn't overexert, but is otherwise pretty much acting as if everything is gonna be ok. Which in spite of my grandpa's impending loss, I'm sure it will. We just need to make sure everything is in order and she is taken care and can look out for herself when it happens.

losing her composure*

man Rev even when it's a "they were very old" situation cancer is hard. sending love man.

double that love message Rev; a 'senior' very close to me is undergoing chemo for lc right now, not the way to spend your 80s

Fuck you, cancer. Fuck you for getting your claws into my nephew's wife, the sweetest and best person who ever married into this crazy family.

Goddamn. :-/

seriously, fuck cancer.

Fuck a cancer :(

Fuck cancer right in its cancerous face. Since April of 2010, both of my parents have gotten cancer (and thus far fought it successfully), my great aunt died of cancer and I've lost a cat to lymphoma. I've had enough. So sorry for your family, WmC.

:-(

*sigh*

so sorry, WmC.

Thanks, Morbs, Phil, Ned and everyone else. Just wanted to say, reviving the thread was not to say RIP. My niece (because that's easier than saying 'my nephew's wife') got the diagnosis of ovarian cancer about 10 days ago and had surgery last week -- hysterectomy got "most" of it, but there are granulomas remaining. Chemo still to come. They have a great support system of family and friends who have already signed up to take care of meals and child care needs for at least the next 2-3 months.

----------

I'm struggling with Martin's death. I never reached out to him to offer sympathies after he revealed his diagnosis. From his description, his cancer sounded almost exactly like my dad's, but far more advanced. I've managed to keep my difficult relationship with my father packed away pretty neatly, and I had a troubling inkling that reaching out to Martin with sympathies and comfort would be a way to reach out to my dad without actually reaching out to my dad. I think, somehow, I felt it would shortchange both of them to play tedious transference head games, even if neither of them knew it was happening.

My dad is hanging in there, by the way. He finished his fourth series of chemo early in the summer. The cancer is at Stage 4, but seems to be arrested for the moment and he carries on, though with diminished energy. The V.A. is starting to make "hey, this is expensive" noises and may not pay for any further rounds of chemo.

Crap -- just looked back at Martin's facebook posts -- why did I think he and my father had the same kind of cancer? Weird, weird, weird.

My grandfather is suffering from (terminal) cancer. Slowly but surely. He is in his 80s so had a long (but not altogether good) life.

My dad just phoned me to tell me my aunt is dying. I'll never see her again.she's 61 and has two daughters and five grandchildren.my gran,who lived with her,died less than a year ago.also from cancer.just keep thinking of the house on aliro barahona that 12 years ago 4 members of my family lived in and which will soon be empty.

a good mate's 57 year old dad died on friday. it was his cancer that inspired me to finally quit smoking for good a couple of months ago (because of, not despite, it being unrelated to smoking). by all accounts a fantastic bloke, even though i only spoke to him a couple of times. fuck you cancer.

I will always curse you, cancer. Be damned and be gone from this earth.

Oh no jim :( Anyone I know?

Fuck you cancer.

They found a second tumor in my breast after my last mammogram. I haven't had the biopsy yet. I am scared because I don't think I can afford this.

FUCK U CANCER U MOTHERFUCK !!!

three years ago I posted in this thread because a friend had something terrible and they treated it with minor surgery and it looked ok but now it's back and the surgery is going to be more intense and could affect her ability to speak and fuck this shit forever & ever my favorite person who has done nothing but good for everybody & be an awesome mom to her son & a great daughter to her ailing mom deserves not only better than this but way way better than this, really feels like advancing age is going to be one cold shock of terror after another as far as this shit goes and it makes the future look really really dark

aw aero :/ sending good vibes to yer friend

just took the grandfather to my niece and nephew. this guy worked in child services with abused children in new york. if anyone deserved another 20 years with his grandkids, i'd say he qualified. some pretty unjust bullshit.

I'm sorry, BNW.

:(

I don't think my grandpa's going to live very long. He is so, so sick. ;_;

<3 to both of you, and your afflicted

My dad is suddenly very close to the end, it seems.

Took me all day to hit "Submit Post" on that.

sorry wmc. take care.

My grandpa, too. :(

Best wishes of strength to you, your grandpa and all your family, Rev.

terrible. good luck people.

God, I'm sorry. My heart is with you.

So sorry to hear, best to both of you.

Strength and warmth to you. :(

Best to you both.

Hope you are doing okay, WmC and Reverend.

Fuck this horrible disease.

very sorry guys. Take care of yourselves and your loved ones.

My friend and co-worker died this morning of cancer. When I was sick a few years ago, he took me under his wing and deflated all the big scary stuff that was happening.

Today, we published a story he wrote last year about playing golf at Augusta National and how much he missed his father. This one's for you, wc.

all my best to the rev and wmc and their loved ones.

sorry to hear about your friend, pplains. :(

Best to both of you

This whole illness has suddenly become very real and very heartbreaking here since we heard a week ago that one of my younger son's friends had malignant tumour "the size of their head" inside her stomach. She is five years old and has just started chemo. Don't really know what to say to the Rev and WmC and pplains but do understand a little better now what you're going through and wish you all the best.

Five years is not an age to battle cancer. :-(
My grandfather is in his 80s so I do not think it is comparable. But to see him suffer. To see him ask "Am I going to die?" is just so saddening. Also because my grandmother lies and says no. I myself could not lie. I just said:"You're sick, but you will be with us a little while longer." That said, I am there. Every week. Just to support my grandparents. I have to. Even though my relationship was never a really tight one.

Oh nath :(

Oh, I am relatively fine. It hasn't hit me yet. I think it will only after he passes away. In a way this whole process is making me realize step by step. He's a very strong (and stubborn) man. Never really complains. But the morphine is making him hallucinate. Honestly, from a certain standpoint I now understand euthanasia even more. He was looking for knives to slit his throat (though I am sure he would never do it).

Cancer is such a horrible horrible disease.

I'm so sorry Nathalie, that's horrible. I do indeed think it will only fully hit you after he has passed away. Sorry if that isn't any consolation.

I went through the same with my granddad, proud stubborn wonderful man he was. I had to physically drag him into my car to take him to work to write his last OpEd. It didn't work, he fainted behind the screen. After that I made him recite it so I could pen it down. Two days after his last column he died (in het harnas, as he always wished for).

My granddad did have some form of euthenasia. The doctor slowly upped the prednison until he was asleep, a sleep he passed away in, which is what he wanted. I don't know if Belgian law allows this or if your grandfather has opted for this. It's never going to be easy but knowing my granddad was spared the last, worst agony and pain from his cancer still means a lot to me.

In any case, I wish you all the best and strength with the situation. I hope you don't have to deal with this alone.

Not prednison, I meant morphine, soz

It's not uncommon here, upping the morphine ostensibly for the pain with the side effect of it making things happen quicker. I've watched all four grandparents go through it - wish somebody had told me what to expect the first time, but when you see things happening again, you recognise them from before.

Huge sympathies to everyone watching loved ones suffer.

guys im really sorry to hear all this. best wishes to all of you.
My grandfather(mums dad) died of cancer when i was 4 months old so i never got to know him. My gran on my dads side beat it in the 60s only to get Alzeihmers in later life. Lost a few of my mums Aunts to cancer too. Fuck cancer.

It's not uncommon here, upping the morphine ostensibly for the pain with the side effect of it making things happen quicker.

this certainly seemed to be what they did with my father in law two years ago (lung cancer), and we are in the states; but they knew that he was going to die in the next day or two it seemed. I was a little surprised they were doing this but I think it is common practice even in the US, which is good.

It is somewhat strange experience because I never had really close relationship with any of my grandparents. (And what I heard from, especially, my father was quite bad. But in hindsight I think my grandfather really did not mean the abuse, he was going through terrible shit and how do you deal with that?) Anyway, it has been quite an experience: In a way going through this has meant coming closer to my grandparents. Hearing all these stories from my gran is really nice.

Yes, they are just upping the morphine.Some sort of slow euthenasia. But he'd never chose to "cut his throat" as he was saying the other night. He's too stubborn.

I also don't compare this to a young person battling cancer. He has been lucky in a way.

Unofficial US-style euthanasia is not just good -- the unofficial nature of it can lead to its happening on the wrong person's say so, or without everyone involved at the same level of understanding. It would be better if it were legal so that procedures were in place to make sure the circumstances under which it occurs are clear and proper. Went through this, the wrong decision was made by the wrong person, the family blew apart.

He died

Nathalie, so sorry to hear that. Thoughts are with you.

im so sorry Nath. Best wishes to you and your family.

Very sorry Nathalie, all the best and strength to you and your family.

Strange reading my posts from 3rd of februaryS

Very sad to hear, Nath. Best to you and yours.

I do miss him terribly. I touched him a few times. But I was perplexed: his body didn't seem like him anymore at all. It was someone else somehow. I guess his "soul" or "essence" had left his body. Very strange. I was the last grandchild he saw apparently. I knew on that thursday it wouldn't be long anymore but you (I) always expect death to be away farther than closer. He died all alone. Apparently my grandmother left to have a quick bite in the kitchen. He died in that half hour. I think he wanted to die all alone. He lost the strength.

Thank you for your kind words. He was 86. A stubborn but lovely man. A long life. His last years were painful but he as lucky to have lived that long.

The Formalism I've heard is "(all we can do is) treat the symptoms", which also frequently has the benefit of being true - the disease is untreatable and the symptoms are pain.

i am sorry, nath. i'm glad you were able to spend time with him before he died.

and best wishes to wmc and rev. and nickb and pp.

Thanks to all for your positive thoughts and vibes. Condolences to PP on the loss of your friend at work -- the perfect timing of his entering your life just when you needed him is the kind of thing, encountered regularly, that keeps this agnostic wondering.

My dad had a massive stroke Wednesday morning -- the staph infection that he picked up in November never was completely cleared out, and best guess is that some of the infectious "vegetation" around his heart broke loose and went to his brain. And since he picked up the staph through his chemo port, cancer still gets the blame imo. We thought he was going to die yesterday afternoon, but he's stabilized a bit in the last 24 hours and it's "any day now" instead of "any hour now." I stayed at the hospital last night and gave my mom and sister a chance to go home and get showers and a bit of real sleep. Now I'm getting a little caught up on work and my own sleep debt.

F***. in the original spirit of this thread, I'm at a loss for other words.

one of my best friends is having a hard time with chemo (and trouble with her chemo port) right now also. she's had recurring breast cancer for 17 years and has had many rounds of treatment but it's slowly colonised her liver and now her bones. she is very funny and nonsensical and brave and loves being alive and everyone who knows her also loves her being alive but cancer appears not to care about any of this. i just pray that the treatment works as it has before and the cancer is beaten back again for a while so she can have another parcel of health before it all starts up again, which it will, that is the only given.

WmC, how awful. And the same for Estela. It is such a horrible disease. I... I don't know what to say, only, that I feel your pain a little and wish I could lessen the sadness.

Words always feel inadequate. I always feel so stupid and seem to say such trite (?) things. Just know that I wish I could alleviate the pain.

Thanks, Nath -- meant to say yesterday, condolences on your grandfather's passing.

which it will, that is the only given.

I'm wearing my shirt and tie at my desk this morning, getting ready to go to Johnny's funeral this afternoon.

He was sick from the time I met him and yet, most of our conversations where "I'm feeling better" or "I had a rough spell".

Everyone seeks treatment, but there comes a point where you just know it's not going away.

Johnny retired at 51 last year. I don't want to say he saw the writing on the wall, but he did come to a point where he had to leave behind other things to focus on the important stuff.

It's really weird that he's dead. I expect to see him in the kitchen by the coffeemaker, asking how I'm feeling and when's my next scan.

http://www.arkansasbusiness.com/images/photos/Johnny-Goode.jpg

This guy being gone hasn't clicked for me. Maybe it will at the service today. Or maybe I can just keep telling myself that he went on another road trip to spring training.

Cancer's bigger than all of us and that's why we hate it. I've been in the clear now since Jan. 2008, but I also know that it'll try to come back. I wish there was something more we could learn from all this besides the pain of losing loved ones.

Aw man, you're gonna make me tear up. I'm really sorry for all those who are struggling right now. <3

My Dad passed away peacefully yesterday, surrounded by family, a week after the stroke and 26 months after his initial diagnosis of inoperable lung cancer. 24 of those months were right up at the top of the scale as far as quality of life goes -- chemo weakened him a bit and made him chilly all the time, but didn't get him down too much. He got two more years in his garden.

Thanks to everybody who sent good vibes and good wishes on this thread. You da best.

And, oh yeah -- FUCK YOU, CANCER.

WmC - <3. it sounds like it was the best possible environment. all my best.

My condolences to your families, WmC and Nathalie.

Best and condolences for you and yours, all the way.

words = 0
<3

William I've been thinking about you and I send you and your family my condolences now I read this sad news.

My sincere condolences to you and yours, WmC. I hope you get through this difficult time.

There's nothing I can say except that I'm happy the inevitable finally happened.

Fuck you, cancer. Fuck you, cancer. Fuck you right in your fucking face. I hate seeing my grandpa in this state. He hasn't been lucid in like two days now and we're thinking he might not make it through the weekend.

Condolences, Wm & Nathalie. I feel exactly what you're going through. I have this sinking feeling I've talked to my grandpa for the last time.

So sad, Rev.

I hate that fucking feeling, Rev. Your grandpa's cancer can fuck right off.

good vibes, wmc & rev

Heartfelt wishes for a peaceful end to your grandpa's pain, Rev.

This has been the weirdest fucking week/month. I might as well wrap it all up with the coda here instead of any other thread. Monday my Aunt Dorothy (my Dad's youngest brother's widow) died suddenly from complications due to poorly managed diabetes, so I went straight from the hospital after my Dad died Wednesday to the visitation at the funeral home for her. Helping my Mom make funeral arrangements yesterday morning ran long, so I missed Aunt Dot's funeral. Dad's visitation was last night, and it was a real pleasure -- mourning the death, but mainly celebrating the life. Funeral this morning, ditto. The ladies at my parents' church put on a big luncheon afterwards, and in the OMGWTF moment of the week, my sister's husband nearly choked to death on his first bite of food, a really excellent smoked pork chop. Fortunately his eldest son is the size of a linebacker and successfully put the Heimlich on him, otherwise we'd have had our third death in five days.

Can it please be March already?!

really sorry wmc, rev, nath, everyone

i'm very sorry for your loss, wmc. and i hope rev is doing okay with whatever is happening now. <3 to all.

My grandpa has been lucid again.

aw, that's some good news.

He died. Cancer can suck my dick.

Aww rodney I'm so so sorry.

That is awful, you have my deepest sympathies.

My gf's mother was diagnosed with what appears to be terminal cancer. I have no idea how to deal with this thing.

I'm sorry for your loss, Rodney. There's no roadmap for dealing with it.

rev <3

Best, sir. It's a horrible feeling.

I'm so sorry. You guys are in my thoughts, as are Dad C and Grandpa Rev.

My uncle has stomach cancer. Fuck.

Cancer is apparently weeks away from making my 16-year-old nephew an orphan (my brother having died of a heart attack last year). Nice work, you fucking piece of shit.

geez guys :/

a friend of mine, who just turned 40, was diagnosed with what appears to be aggressive cervical cancer. she's been documenting her daily doctor's visits, posting her biopsy results, etc. on facebook, and she's handling everything with impressive coolness so far. all the same, motherfuck a goddamn cancer.

found out yesterday my brother's 13mo old son had a tumor 1.5x the size of a softball. i say had because he went into surgery this morning and it went waaayyy better than anyone expected, they're pretty sure they were able to remove all of it! so rather than chemo for who knows how long it will just be periodic checkups to make sure it doesn't come back.

modern medecine: "fuck you, cancer!"

that was such a scary 24 hours, i can't imagine what the last few days were like for my bro and his wife

fingers crossed for the little man.

thats a whole level of heaviness to have to take on.

evil fucking cancer, fuck you. fuck you. fuck you.

We went though the same thing with our niece a couple years ago - she's totally fine now and is doing the curesearch walk this weekend. Ytth designed a t-shirt for her that says ”too cool for two kidneys” ;)

(they had to remove one of her kidneys, along with the tumor)

Well, that was quick. Ugh.

tr, are you okay? What happened?

Sorry, I just read back and can guess. Thoughts to you.

Thank you.

A little extra sadness is my uncle's birthday would be next week.

t.r : sorry to hear that.

stomach cancer is what killed my wife a few months ago .. not sure what would have been best, not knowing until the last minute, or the 12 months of hell trying to battle the fucker.

YO FUCK CANCER

Starting chemo on my ___loma next week (assuming all the papershit comes thru).
I'm told long-range prognosis for my situation looks good (and will not feel 80 years old like now?).

BTW, esp if you hate spending time on hold, fuck cancer.

best luck morbs

(hug)

thx everyone. Non-binding poll to nickname myeloma possibly forthcoming.

Can't wait for the Surprise Daily Bone Crackle to stop so i can walk the same way all day.

Ugh, sorry to hear that, Morbs, but it at least sounds hopeful. Hang in there.

I'm glad things are looking positive Morbs.

My mom-in-law has been through eight months of chemo to treat ovarian cancer. The cyst is too large for the doctors to remove. Her hemoglobin is too low for her to continue her chemo. She is still walking and talking and working and even going dancing, but we'll be meeting with palliative care people next week.

The frustrating-cool thing about it is that we only learned of the details about all of this earlier this week. Until now, she has been concealing the doctor's reports, stuffing the hard copy in her purse and/or throwing it out, and telling us it's all in God's hands, etc. Her Catholic belief has been great in terms of keeping spirits up, both hers and ours, but it's frustrating that she has deemed to keep all these details to herself.

Anyway, she's a totally fucking great woman and I love her very much and I'm very beat up about all this.

That's a familiar type to me, fgti. I wish your spouse and her loved ones the best.

Thanks Morbs, I didn't want to bring it up on the other threads b/c I didn't wanna bring up a hopeless case in the face of your current situation. Glad to hear yours is far from hopeless.

She's not my actual mom-in-law but bf and I have been together 10 years, she calls me her son etc. The Catholic stuff, like the power of her belief and the certainty that if things go to shit she'll be reunited with her family, these things have an unbelievably positive influence on everybody's mood. We're all doing OK. We're having a big party for her next month.

My mother-in-law is stage 3 pancreatic cancer -- she's not a super-devout catholic, but in my conversations with her the last few months, now that she's past the initial terror of her diagnosis and is coming to a very calm acceptance that this is now her life, it seems like she's really digging deep into her, ugh this sounds corny but, spirtual toolbox? for strength...

She always got a lot of ribbing from her family incl my husband for being kinda churchy, but going through all of this kind of makes me cast an eye in their direction, like, "See?...It does help!"

Just knowing that she can go to that for some kind of peacefulness, I dunno. it's very powerful to see. I'm glad your MIL has that too. And not that it's something that everyone *should* have. Everyone finds it in different places, some don't need it or want it at all. But as someone who's always had a foot in both camps, I find it comforting.

Just got my necessary chemo drug guaranteed for delivery an hour before it would've been too late to start as scheduled.

US HEALTHCARE FUCK YEAH

sending good thoughts to you dr. morbius

ditto

Delivered at the clinic or delivered to your abode?

One thing I've realized is the many different ways chemo is administered. I always thought it was get hooked to a tube and get miserable. But you can get it in pill form, though shots, through IVs…

A woman who works with me had thyroid cancer. One of her treatments entailed her sitting by herself in a room while a doctor came in, covered head to toe. He gave her this thermos-like container and quickly left the room. Inside the container was a jar and inside the jar, was this little pill she had to swallow that apparently was so poisonous and so toxic, that no one could be around her for a few hours.

You get to a point with this Black Ages stuff where you think, surely someone's pulling my leg about all this, right?

wow at poison pill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7OLCbjuidE

gah that poison pill story is creepy as hell

http://img.webmd.com/dtmcms/live/webmd/consumer_assets/site_images/articles/health_tools/thyroid_symptoms_and_solutions_slideshow/phototake_rm_photo_of_radioactive_iodine.jpg

I did some hardcore research just now by Googling thyroid cancer pill and got back this. Apparently, it's not even safe to share the same toilet with family members for the next few days since radioactive nuclear poison will be falling out of your butt.

Hope this is all making you feel so much better, Morbs!

whoa

morbs you will document any radioactive poops right? RIGHT? :)

Damn, hope it goes easy on you, Morbs!

Apparently, it's not even safe to share the same toilet with family members for the next few days since radioactive nuclear poison will be falling out of your butt.

to be honest, this is pretty standard for chemo procedures.

my wife was on high level but relatively normal chemo, and we had to do this after every overnight drug pumping session.

good luck morbs, hope it goes well.

waiting for drug delivery to my abode.

I do not have a Geiger counter.

thinking good thoughts for you, morbs. <3

Best wishes for cancer asskickery, Morbs.

Find a way to let it know that the host is FAR too cantankerous to give it shelter. And the best of all possible luck to you, Morbs.

Have to say that my own chemo and radiation didn't require hazmat warnings but eh, I was five.

wishing u well morbs

same here

yay, FedEx brought my candy.

was he wearing a hazmat suit y/n

I got it from the scorched hands of my doorman.

The radioactive medication is only for thyroid cancer. It's radioactive iodine. It's not really chemotherapy but a form of brachytherapy (internal radiation treatment). The other common example of brachytherapy is the radioactive seeds sometimes used to treat prostate cancer.

I moonlight covering inpatient calls overnight for an oncology service. We often have patients admitted for their radioactive drink (they're taking a liquid, not pills). I had to go through a training session on how to care for them, in case I get called in for an urgent problem. The basic idea is to wear a leaded vest and get in and out of the room as fast as possible. Hazmat suits (protecting against skin or respiratory contact) aren't needed. Almost all of the patients treated for thyroid cancer are fairly young and otherwise healthy (and the radioactive drink doesn't suppress their immune system, it binds specifically to the thyroid because of its iodine uptake). They don't often require urgent care after hours, so I've never actually been in to see one of them in person (yet).

Some types of chemotherapy produce toxic metabolites as the body breaks them down, which accumulate in the urine etc. There are a whole host of nursing precautions to be observed when caring for a patient on active chemo, which is one reason these patients are usually cared for on a dedicated oncology ward. I'm sure they have similar precautions for possible family contact in a shared bathroom for patients taking chemo as outpatients. The exact precautions would depend on the specific medication. There's no risk of radiation exposure from chemotherapy. Patients getting radiation treatments (the usual kind of external beam radiation given for breast cancer etc) don't become radioactive and aren't a danger to their relatives at home.

...

Morbs, sorry to hear about your diagnosis. The oncology service I cover includes heme-onc patients, so I've seen quite a few people go through treatment for myeloma. I'd be happy to discuss either here or by ilxmail. One of my friends at the university hospital is a hematologist -- I could bounce a couple of questions off her if that helps.

Good luck, hang in there, fingers crossed for you.

thx P

Home from first chemo, no nasty effects yet. Most remarkable is I was youngest person in the filled waiting room, and I saw some Cartoon Network show starring a talking orange.

sorry to hear about this but it's good you're taking action now best wishes on the treatment.

Most remarkable is I was youngest person in the filled waiting room

yeah the only time I'm the youngest person in any room is at the urologist's office

Are you as old as "Telstar," though?

I'm as old as Sputnik!

Way better off than I was a month or two ago. This week's annoying side effects are insomnia (~4 hrs sleep the last 2 nights) and feeling kinda bloated from taking 5-6 meds in the morning, but I've left the cane at home the last 5 days...

That's good news, Morbs.

Wooooo!!

Great to hear man

Happy to hear it, morbz

high five, Morbs. You're are too young for a cane, geez!

Last rights administered to my ex-sister-in-law. Horrible fucking countdown to my nephew's being an orphan is now down to a matter of hours.

Good news!

Oh fuck sorry, I completely missed that last post, I am really horribly sorry, dude.

I didn't think you were cheering my ex-SIL's death, although I did wonder if you had an inappropriate level of enthusiasm for orphans.

TWU, that sounds heartbreaking - wishing the best to you and yours.

Gosh that's awful; I hope if your nephew is a minor that custody has been settled in advance…

Custody has not been settled, and he is sixteen. It could get ugly, unfortunately. I have advised my family to quietly lawyer up in advance of any attempts by the stepfather (an asshole who rejected my nephew from the beginning, but now there's money at stake) to adopt him, and my nephew would be given a court appointed lawyer at any rate. My ex-sister-in-law never expected to outlive my brother, and I think has been too sick for the last two or three years to formalize anything. Fuckin' bullshit disease and its debilitating therapies.

She died about an hour and a half after that last post. FUCK.

:(

all my best, TWU.

Legal battles are stressful, I hope you are peak physical strength if you have to witness one.

so sorry TWU.

the poor kid.

hope things work out as well as they can under these truly awful circumstances.

(and ta for the reminder that i need to sort out a new will as my current one is badly formed now that i am a single parent)

Yeah, the moral of this story is definitely PARENTS, UPDATE YOUR WILLS TODAY. My late brother, his widow, and his ex-wife (M) had made good arrangements for custody after M's death; my brother's unexpected death coincided with a worsening of M's condition (she fought the disease from 2008 until last night), and here comes the mess. Everybody's hurting and being decent to each at the moment, but my lawyer sense says shitstorm on the horizon, batten down the hatches.

Yeah, my dad didn't have a will, and to the rest of my family (except possibly my sister, who has no power), he isn't shit.

I begged my father to get a will, I never betrayed Dad, never left him, never associated with people who would scorn him. I never acted like I was embarrassed of him. Now my brother's family wants any assets along with my fascist bitch of a mother. Who spent most of her life lying about dad and calling him "Satan" and low class garbage.

I don't have the energy to fight them and I guess to keep up appearances to spare forcing people to take heartbreak into their precious workplace, I'll liquidate all assets, even Dad's military stuff. I mean, it's all junk or someone would have been nice about it.

But you know, deadlines are deadlines and morally the obligation is to shut up and bring home dollars. Some day I'd like a yacht and an ugly 1990 era house I can show off on Facebook.

Have to give in and be "realistic" some time. But let that be a warning to you : in the real world when people die, they die and that's that.

oh god TWU, i'm so sorry

When my father in law died, overseas in a remote spot, he left behind a stressful tangle of documents and instructions, so frustrating that my MiL immediately put together a packet of instructions/details/numbers should anything happen to her, which she then sent to my wife, who put it in a safety deposit box. I've been trying to get my parents to do the same, but they are very private people. For all I know they have, but my worry is that something will happen to one or both of them (and something affecting one will definitely impact the other) and it'll be too late to put things in order.

My over-60 parents admitted recently that they were just now making their wills for the first time. What's worse is that in my younger and more vulnerable days, they told me that my aunt would get custody of us should anything happen to them. And so I learned that this had only ever been a verbal agreement. Which would've backfired, because there would've been no way that my aunt would have been able to cope with raising us for more than about three weeks.

Favorite uncle = tonsil cancer. Totally sucks. FUCK CANCER.

― kate78, Tuesday, July 8, 2008 3:17 PM (4 years ago)

Well, it's over and altogether too soon. RIP, Matthew.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b105/anytimebutnow/mampj.jpg

fuck.

cancer is seriously the most evil of fuckers ever.

so sorry kate78 ...

just wish i had as cool a picture as that of me and my wife ...

The one positive thing I can say is that the strength I've seen exhibited on this thread by both sufferers and those close to them gives me some hope for the inevitable tragedies in life. You're all the fucking best.

FUCK U CANCER!!

Spent all day waiting for results from my soon to be mother in laws latest test and of course they were fucking dismal. Just when she was starting to get back on her feet after a liver resection and chemo for 6 months.

FUCK THIS FUCKER!

Would it be inappropriate to post on this thread a link for a fundraising event? In about 7 weeks I'm participating in a charity ride for the American Cancer Society, cycling from Cleveland to Cincinnati over 4 days, to raise money for their Hope Lodges. But I don't want to detract from the purpose of the thread if this isn't the right place.

best way to curse cancer is to charity-drive it into extinction imo

As long as everyone's cool with it here is info on the ride: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?fr_id=53354&pg=entry

And here is a link to my fundraising page. Both my parents have successfully fought cancer in the last three years, and the ACS Baltimore Hope Lodge was a huge help to my dad, so this is a pretty important cause for me. If you've got a couple of extra bucks, please consider donating.

The kate78 picture upthread is both wonderful and heartbreaking.

Good luck on yr ride Phil!

Thx! Given this elevation profile for day 2 I probably am going to die somewhere between Wooster and Columbus, so please avenge my death.

http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/328/pohr2.jpg

oof, that climb!

477 ft. over 5 miles. Not exactly the Tour de France, but it's the least I can do.

Close family friend, neighbor growing up and father of friends of mine, just passed from cancer. We had no idea. Hard to process.

sorry Hurting. Good luck Phil.

So three months-plus after my transplant, I have no traces of myeloma in my blood, which is about as good as it gets unless they discover a cure. I'll be taking pills for the rest of my life, probably, but I'm very fortunate considering my ills of the last year.

(I will still act like an asshole with some frequency, but perhaps I'll be less touchy going forward.... Any bets?)

anyway, fuck even manageable cancer.

health to you sir

that is great news Morbs <3

To better days.

oh, excellent, morbs! v glad; heart was in throat when i clicked.

good to hear morbs, we look forward to decades of morbsianisms.

Good news, Morbz!

great news dr. morbius.

congratulations Morbs, I have kinda given up on ILE politics but I agree with you most of the time, keep crankin'.

huge relief and very happy for you, bill!
http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/62/6230/HRH3100Z/posters/keep-on-truckin.jpg

Congrats on the good news, Morbs.

Nice to have a bit of good news itt! Glad your cancer fucked right off, morbs, good work!

Great news, Morbs. Happy to welcome another member to the survivor's club.

Aw, that's great news!

Yeah, seriously, like the ACS says, more birthdays! Better pills than dead.

aw, i didn't see this yesterday. good show, morbs. glad to have you with us.