What's the dealio with <i>Cats</i>?

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After mentions of this musical on the epic Buffy thread, could someone tell me what they see in it? I'm not being sarcastic, I'm genuinely interested in what makes it appeal to people.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

OHwelliNEVerwasthereEVeraCATsocleverasMAGicalMIStermisTOPHeleeeeeeees!

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

(I hate it too. Much rejoicing in Casa Ewing when it finally ended.)

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

A bunch of kind of funny but very frivolous poetry mangled and distorted into some kind of pseudo-profound 'journey' type metaphor of an ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER MUSICAL with really really stupid costumes. Gives dancers opprtunities to prance about doing their horrible emotive movement thing. Dreadful, simply dreadful.

People like it because...it's about kittens? And the stupid costumes are skin-tight.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

1) "Memory" is a good song, Barbara Streisand's overplayed rendition aside.
2) The costuming is fantastic, as is the blocking/movement.
3) "Macavity" is also a good song.
4) The "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" is one of the few modern musical numbers that can get away with egregious time signature wankage.
5) Bonnie Langford was in the London cast. GO RUMPLETEEZER!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

It is the worst thing evah, and therefore the diametric opposite of OMWF

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Cats" has been shown to be highly annoying to the smugly cynical, the self-satisfied and people who have never aspired to be in musicals (longevity = potential job when you get your big break).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

'Memory' is a horrible trivialisation of 'Rhapsody on a Windy Night', which isn't even _from_ 'Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats'. How can you go from

"Memory!
You have the key,
The little lamp spreads a ring on the stair.
Mount.
The bed is open; the tooth-brush hangs on the wall,
Put your shoes at the door, sleep, prepare for life.”

The last twist of the knife."

to some old load of tosh about nostalgia for being a sexy young cat-girl, without simply _weeping_ in frustration?

Yuck Bonnie Langford, the wizened gurning ginger mannequin.

I apologise for bitterness, but it really sucks as far as I'm concerned. I kind of liked the songs when I was young.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Cats has dated awfully but as dance musical theatre it literally broke the mold. Three okayish songs (Memory is triffic) and skintight outfits made it the show it was okay for Dad's to like (at least until Chicago came back).

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

The Hidden Paw!

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

U R ALL GAY

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

He's a master criminal who can defy the law!

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

In the very beginning of the Cats insanity, photos of the cast in costume and make up were banned. "Oh, they're just like real cats--you'll be amazed." That was a good situation because at least you didn't have to see the idiots make stupid cat gestures...

Now, the photos are everywhere. Revolting. Even worse the quote I read somewhere, "we had to close it so we can open the revival!"

― Skottie, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't even understand it as a concept.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

It sucks. It's horrid.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Taking sides: any random production of Cats vs. the animated cartoon of Heathcliff.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I *hated* Heathcliff.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell are you trying to do here, Ned?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Could've been worse. At least no-one's mentioned Ga*fi*ld.

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell are you trying to do here, Ned?

Trying to figure out the Scylla and Charybdis of cat culture at its worst.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Scylla and Charybdis lend a nice tone to the proceedings, but I think Dumb and Dumber are the two ends of the spectrum re: Cats and its ilk.

― Skottie, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

2) The costuming is fantastic, as is the blocking/movement.

How so? The costumes make them look nothing like cats. Instead, they look like demented mimes in bad makeup who like showing off their bulging genitalia.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

they look like demented mimes in bad makeup who like showing off their bulging genitalia.

Sorry, and you're asking *Dan Perry* why he likes it??

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

True, too true.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

For him to have truly loved it that way, the name would have to be Pussies.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I SHOULD TOTALLY REWRITE "CATS" AS "PUSSIES"!!!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Will you include Mrs Slocombe's pussy?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Mrs Slocombe's pussy
Is a droopy old thing
It's just a little gassy
And it flops on everything

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Now that would be a good musical.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you Being Served? - *The Musical*!

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

(Yes Lara, I am experiencing maximum FEAR.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I love music.
I love cats.
I don't care for Cats.
Do I hate fun?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I think any cat-lover in their right mind would loathe Cats.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

CATISTS.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Which Ilx-er is fey enough to play Mr Humphries?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

What have I wrought?

(Never seen Cats and I only know "Memories" from it, so I am indifferent.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

(DAMMIT I wish Fred Solinger still posted so I could say, "FRED SOLINGER IS THE JERSEY MR. HUMPHRIES" and revel in his indignation.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

The amorous Humphries' plugged jersey, what?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

He looks like Prince now!

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Fred, that is. That's why the Humphries comparison would be even funnier.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a new picture of Fred? Is he dressed Dirty Mind-style?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

That's fantastic on SO MANY LEVELS! I should email him a transliteration of Prince yelps.

I've realized that Mr. Humphries should be played by our resident thespian L'IL NICKY D.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

With beard of course.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

This all fits in to this weird theory I came up with yesterday.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

What would Mr. Humphries be without his beard?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

But of course, young Master Perry.

If Nicole has an N. = Fred = Prince theory my head will hurt. I will however be entertained by the idea that Nicole will now no longer be able to listen to Prince without thinking of N. She'll have to think of him acting the lead role in Purple Rain, singing "Kiss" and "Alphabet St." to her, gyrating accordingly, etc.

Oh hi Nicole, no please put down that knife, no not in my chest ARGH!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole has visions of N. and Fred in ass-out pants!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Licking curly yellow guitars at that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

58 posts and NOT ONE KITTEN?! This can only mean the end of ILX.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

You forget that I categorize the threads now. From now on I will put all Dan/Ned threads into an "Asshats" category. Seriously.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, Matt:

http://members.aol.com/johnnyradpants/logo2.jpg

Nicole is clearly suffering from cabin fever at the end of this long winter, and it's affected her judgment of Dan and I. Sad, really.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

No, it's sharpened my perceptions. I now have asshat-dar.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

*cries*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

You should cry now, cause you'll be lucky if you'll even be able to cry after I destroy you.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan, all is lost; flee.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I WILL NOT BACK DOWN. Now Nicole, picture N. emerging from a bathtub and slinking across the floor all catlike towards you as rose petals fall upon is perfectly-buttressed pompadour...

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Dig, if you will, a picture
Of N and Nicole engaged in a kiss

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

The Fred of your body covers me
Can you my darlin', can you picture this?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Dream if you can a web board
An ocean of posters in bloom

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan and Ned strike curious poses
They feel the heat, the heat between asshats and YOU

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

How can you just leave N. standing
Alone in this world, Nicole?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe he's just too demanding
Maybe he's just like your father, too bold.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely there is a thread I can read that may explain why you are all talking like loons? Why are you using a silly Swedish term?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

They're mentally ill, Lara. Perhaps if we all ignore them they will go away.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe he's just like your mother
She's never satisfied (she's never satisfied)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

They're certainly very easily excitable - I worry about people who can whip themselves into frenzies like that.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens now, Lara, your passions on certain matters have been clear enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do you scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like WHEN FRED CRIES!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan and Ned: I laughed, I cried, it was better than CATS.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

They're making a live-action "Garfield."

― slutsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

(I will freely admit that this thread is better than "Cats".)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan and Ned: I laughed, I cried, it was better than CATS.

*bows*

They're making a live-action "Garfield."

Worst porn ever.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens now, Lara, your passions on certain matters have been clear enough.

I may hint but I keep mine hidden, you beast!

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Lara: secret Moz fetishist.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Nice work, Ned.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

One tries.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

And succeeds.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

:-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

They're nice boys really, Nicole. See? I'm going home now. Happy evenings to you all!

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

this phrase pops into my head about once a day. i'll be minding my business, doing this or that, when all of a sudden i wonder "what's the dealio with cats?"

― ron (ron), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.liederkranz-maulbronn.de/images/CATS13b2-22.jpg
THE RUM TUG TUGGER IS A CURIOUS CAT...........TAP DANCE TAP DANCE.....

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

seven months pass...

Since everybody's asking the "What's the deal with..." questions today, I thought this burning issue warranted revival.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

OH MY GOD I don't think I've ever been prouder of my dementia than this thread.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

You need to be slapped upside the head with some booteycure.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

You never explained your weird N./Fred/Prince theory, BTW.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

They're both dead now so it doesn't matter.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm going to see it AGAIN and AGAIN!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Fred of your body covers me" HAHAHAHAHAHA! I slay me.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, was THIS the thread? And Nicolars willingly revived it! Surely she adores us for our divine truths.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

this phrase pops into my mind quite often - i'll just be doing this or that and all of a sudden think "what's the dealio with cats?" (i'm totally serious, i think i might be broken or something)

― ron (ron), Thursday, 11 December 2003 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Still one of the best threads ever.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

WOW this thread is amazing.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 04:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean seriously, "The Fred of your body covers me"...wow. Fucking wow. The images provided here are the worst things I've ever imagined, possibly. Wow.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 04:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan and I felt the inspiration. We had to act.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 04:19 (twenty-one years ago)

my god. that prince bit is hysterical.
I just want to say that Cats was the first proper musical I ever saw performed by professionals and not by sad community-theatre wannabes that never were. it rocked my 11-year-old world.

I got over it, though. I gave up my quest to see every ALW musical EVAH around the time of Sunset Blvd.

― Catty (Catty), Thursday, 11 December 2003 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

N. and Solinger really kind of do look alike though, I can understand Nicole's theory, whatever it was.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

What is this thread about?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

You being Prince.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Should be about why Cats was able to wring the economy dry for 10 years.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 11 December 2003 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

No. It shouldn't.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

So what is the dealio with Cats?

Perhaps it is one of those eternal questions that perhaps will never truly be answered.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I just thought it was another aspect of the 1980s that I never understood.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I know the answer, I shall reveal it now:

GRANDMOTHERS LIKE CRAP!!!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

But that doesn't explain the Cure.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't say grandmothers were the only people who liked crap, you know.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, I just want a theory of 80s everything.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Cats is the like the only artistic performance in any medium I've ever walked out on, I think. My family went to see it at the Fisher Theater in downtown Detroit sometime in the 80s, and we left at intermission, it was so bad. It didn't make any sense. All this prancing around and talk about "jellicle cats". What in holy fuck is a "jellicle cat"?

― Broheems (diamond), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know, and I don't think I want to know.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I am listening to it now.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

People who like crap:

grandmothers
goths
Elizabeth Taylor
my sister Meg@n
Canadians
everyone who saw the third Austin Powers film
people in uniform
girls named Mishy

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

also: elfs.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, elfs have shit taste. So do ravers. Hang on.

elfs
ravers
Telly Savalas
hippies
the entire population of Northampton
basketball players

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

HA! my 5th grade gifted class went on a trip to see Cats at the Fischer Theater, too(around 86-87). We went up onstage during the intermission, but i regret not looking up.

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, not one bit of Cats is as bad as Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

jellicle cats come out at night!

the songs explains what they are!

i can sing very VERY large amounts of JatATDC

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

So can I, unfortunately. It is the bane of my existance. It is the worst musical I've ever had anything to do with and I am shamed and shamed and shamed--dressing up like a jellicle cat and prancing like a moron would've been 10,000 times better than all that JatATDC nonsense. I wish we could've wired his amazing colored coat with wires to electrocute when he started moaning to bring him his colored coat. Asshats.

Seriously, I am increasingly thinking that if it is a musical and it is not called "The Pirates of Penzance" then it is seriously not worth my time or effort.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously how is this not the greatest thing ever:

On the coast of Cornwall, a gang of pirates play and party as Frederic (a pirate apprentice) reminds the pirate king that his obligation to the gang is soon over. He was apprenticed to the pirates only until his twenty-first birthday, which is that day, and he is leaving them. Ruth (Frederic’s nursery maid when he was younger) explains that Frederic should never have been a pirate except for her mistake: She was told to apprentice Frederic to a pilot, but she misunderstood and placed him with a pirate instead.
Frederic tells the pirates that, after he leaves the gang, he intends to destroy them, not because he doesn’t love them, but because he loathes what they do. He is a slave of duty and, when no longer a pirate, it will be his duty to destroy them. The pirates understand, and also complain that they cannot seem to make money. Because Frederic is a slave-of-duty to the pirates until noon, he tells them why: Because they are all orphans, the pirates will not rob another orphan; and since all their potential victims are aware of this, they all claim to be orphans!
Because Frederic has spent his entire life with the pirates, he has never seen another woman; thus he thinks he may want to take Ruth with him as his wife. He asks Ruth if she is beautiful, and she responds that she is. Frederic, a very trusting young man, says that he believes Ruth and he will not let her age come between them.
At this point, however, Frederic hears a chorus of girls in the vicinity. He sees a group of beautiful young women, realizes he was betrayed by Ruth, and rejects her. Frederic informs the girls that he is a pirate, but not for long. He asks if any of the girls will marry him, and the youngest, Mabel, agrees.
The pirates enter the scene, and each grabs a girl. Major-General Stanley enters and identifies himself as the girls’ father, demanding to know what is taking place. When the pirates tell Major-General Stanley that they intend to marry his daughters, he objects, saying he has an aversion to having pirates for sons-in-law; the pirates respond that they are opposed to having major-generals as fathers-in-law, but that they will put aside the objection.
Knowing about the pirates’ weakness, Major-General Stanley tells them he is an orphan and, thus, disarms the pirates and takes his daughters, along with Frederic, away to his family chapel and estate. The major-general, who actually is not an orphan, soon feels guilty about the lie he told the pirates. Frederic, however, has a plan to lead a squad of zany policemen against the his old gang.
Before he can act, however, the pirate king and Ruth arrive to tell him that he is still obligated to the pirates. Because Frederic was born on February 29 of a leap year, he has served only five birthdays, not the twenty-one required by his contract. A strong sense of duty forces Frederic to relent, and, because he is a member of the pirate band again, to reveal the truth that Major-General Stanley is not an orphan. The pirate king vows that he will have revenge on the major-general.
Mabel enters and begs Frederic not to go back to the pirates, but bound by duty, he leaves. The police ready their attack on the pirates, while the pirates creep in to take revenge on the major-general.
The pirates defeat the police. However, when Ruth divulges that the pirates are really noblemen and they swear their allegiance to the queen, the tables are turned--and the police take the pirates prisoner. However, because the pirates have never really hurt anyone, they are soon forgiven. The ex-pirates win the girls, Frederic wins Mabel, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Do you people have no souls?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean the leap year clause is fucking brilliant!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

If you are Adam Ant, it is.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

A production of The Pirates of Penzance starring Adam Ant would cause all functions of my body to cease production and I would die on the spot.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe you people would rather talk about Andrew Lloyd "Assface Horrible Demon Spawn" Webber than PIRATES!!!!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Pirates are so 2001. Andrew Lloyd Webber is where it's at. EERRRRRRRRRRRR!!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

People liking singing pirates is not as puzzling as people liking jellicle genital cats.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

No one mentioned genitals before!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a good point. I think that if you notice that the "cats" in Cats more closely resemble the Thundercats than they do actual real cats, it might explain it a little bit more?

I mean, I do think a musical about cats being popular seems more sensible than things like Starlight Express, for example.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

(that wasn't supposed to sound excited, btw)

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, I like Thundercats quite a lot!! I wanted to be Cheetara! So singing Thundercats seems like something I would also like a lot, it's kind of a bait & switch deal.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god, I forgotten about Starlight Express. I think it must have had everything to do with 80s cocaine.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn, that is some high quality shit they had back in the day then.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.mindspring.com/~jlbarber/img/starlight.jpg

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I suddenly feel really aggressive!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

This picture is amazing, it is better than the Pope Dan picture:

http://musicalstore.caltanet.it/Broadway%20Musicals/73-2000/IMMAG/starlight/rusty.gif

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.learn-line.nrw.de/angebote/zeus/thema/musical/fotos/express.jpg

Germans loved Starlight Express. This explains a lot.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, now I'm knifing the screen.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"knifing"

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Starlight Express, you must confess, are you real, yes or no / Starlight Express, please answer 'yes,' I don't want you to go.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.mindspring.com/~jlbarber/img/starlight.jpg

The most gleeful pegging EVER.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

peggee don't like it so much

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe Starlight Express was better than I thought.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"I was introduced to Starlight Express as it toured through the US in the early 90's. It is one of the most incredible works by Mr Webber. What I feel is significant is he uses all major forms of music in this production: rap, country, classical, digital, punk, hard rock, and my favorite is Papp's Blues. It is a wonderful tale set to music. I was so happy when it finally made it to CD. A must have for any music lover."

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Signed, Geir.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, not one bit of Cats is as bad as Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat.

Ally OTM.

― Catty (Catty), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

it has rap??!

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Aspects of Love was really good, though. Actually it was beautiful and the production I saw was mounted entirely in white and had the hottest onstage chemistry.... ma-rowr....!

And I kinda liked Phantom for 15 minutes in 1989 but then again I Was A Teenage Goth.

― Catty (Catty), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"underneath the whimsical silliness is a beautiful metaphor about God, man, and life that anyone will notice if they give the show half a chance."

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:20 (twenty-one years ago)

haha is the reviewer a hippy?

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Evita rulez all.

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

OK who is going to help me stage a revival of Starlight Express?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Evita is the most overrated musical of all time.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I will Ally!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Please don't wear those clothes or anything like them. Actually an all-nude Starlight Express is the only way I could be persuaded to go and see it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

rap - no
country - no
classical - no
digital - if they mean bad 80s tech, then yes
punk - fuq no
hard rock - nu-uh

Actually, Starlight Express was written for gospel and blues-stylee voices. It was part of ALW's wanting-to-write-musicals-starring-the-Ike-ettes-phase. Now all his stuff sounds like it was crafted with Hayley Mills in mind.

― Catty (Catty), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I would only attend an all-nude production if the audience was nude as well.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Evita with Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin is grate. the stage version I saw was shite. And I sat next to Donny Fucking Osmond, who Didn't Get It.
Jesus Christ Superstar with Dennis DeYoung was pretty kickass too.

― Catty (Catty), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

does protective gear count as clothes in this all-nude version? 'cause I mean you gotta keep the roller skates.

― Catty (Catty), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

You are a very odd fish, Ned Raggett.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Practice safe stage.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha no the costumes are totally the only reason why I want to revive this musical, people.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I do like Joseph quite a lot. That Potiphar song is brilliant.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Then keep the costumes and get better music! Have the costumes crossed with pirate outfits for an Adam Ant musical along the lines of that Mamma Mia thing done for Abba songs.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned that's a horrible idea. Why don't you go make your own musical instead of ruining ours? Hint: it should be involving Kraftwerk, now go!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

That would have the best choreography ever! I wouldn't have to move at all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

You know why Cats is good? there is a PIRATE CAT! meAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!

― Catty (Catty), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned just really likes going to musicals in the buff.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

What, you don't?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"The unspoken message is clear as a bell, and is used as a canvas to paint a wonderful picture in London. The Brits still do some things right and Theater is one of them - If you are ever in London - you must see the show!"

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

How come no-one ever stages "Chess" anymore?

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Thursday, 11 December 2003 23:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Common sense?

― Allyzay, Friday, 12 December 2003 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I WAS POTIPHAR

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 12 December 2003 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

They oughta revive Cats using the Famous People Players. Tell a bunch of retarded kids to act like felines and I think you have yourself a winner. Hell, it wouldn't even require costumes.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 12 December 2003 06:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Potiphar had very few cares
I was one of Egypt's millionaires
Having made a fortune buying shares in pyramids...

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 12 December 2003 06:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Pick my best musical role from high school:

Jacob/Potiphar (Joseph)
Action (West Side Story)
Max Detweiler (Sound Of Music)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 12 December 2003 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Action! I have an almost unreasonable love for West Side Story.

― El Diablo Robotic (Nicole), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Potiphar, for it is the most amusing name.

My opinion on Cats remains unchanged: it sux u r all phurri3s

― Ricardo (RickyT), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Singing the lead in "Gee Officer Krupke" is probably the highlight of my "stage career".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

IDON'TBELIEVEINFREELOVE

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

That was the second highlight of my "stage career".

The sad thing is that Detweiler/von Trapp/Elsa have a couple of trios in the stage version of "SoM" that aren't in the movie which are FUCKING GREAT ("No Way To Stop It"!) but no one knows them.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Obscurity is your fate there, I'm afraid.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Your inscrutability leaves me inconsolable. I am in an abyss of dread.

― Dieter (Dan Perry), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

NOW YOU DANCE. Or is that 'danz'

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.shoppingtelly.com/forum/images/avatars/spider.gif

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Song in the stage version getting cut in the movie version shocker!!!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

Strange thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 1 October 2005 18:38 (nineteen years ago)

Indeed. I remember seeing the Toronto production when I was 13 or 14 and wanting to like it, but not having one sweet clue as to what was happening plotwise.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 1 October 2005 18:52 (nineteen years ago)

The Fred of your body covers me.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 1 October 2005 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

You should cry now, cause you'll be lucky if you'll even be able to cry after I destroy you.

-- Nicole (nicolew1...), March 19th, 2003. (Nicole)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 1 October 2005 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

She never made good on that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 1 October 2005 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

Don't taunt her, Ned!

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Saturday, 1 October 2005 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

*senses looming vast power of desecration arising over the Midwest*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 1 October 2005 19:39 (nineteen years ago)

Dessication, shurely.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 October 2005 00:56 (nineteen years ago)

Unquestionably the best thing about Cats were those huge show posters in the subways, the ones with the jolly rotund cat man touching fingers with a little Asian girl (presumably from the audience). In the WTC PATH station, someone had added a Sharpie speech bubble in which the, like, 7-yr old girl said "I love you, Cat Husband!!". Somewhere there's a digital photo of this.

― Laurel, Sunday, 2 October 2005 01:02 (nineteen years ago)

hee hee hee

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 2 October 2005 02:24 (nineteen years ago)

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What's the dealio with Cats?