Do you think I'm a bitch?

My kiddoes call me a witch who worships the devil but I think they're just being polite.

indeed

Uppity? How boring. Has there been any actual evil here? I'd like to be evil.

And that's funny why?

i'm not even worth crushing like a bug, mistress.

ME: I'm sorry I'm always mean to you. (said in insincere voice)
HER: oh, its okay, you're just a bitch.
ME: (sincerely) wow thanks, you too!

you can talk, you big bitch - or have i confused you with someone else....i think i have

"thief" - you foxy bitch - a person who steals, esp. secretly and without violence. :->

The Bitch Test

Amen brother. I'm getting a bit sick of myself on here myself. I hate when that happens ...

Women who like the taste of beer are more likely to cheat on their boyfriends.

Maybe if you started wearing hair spray?

93% held hands
92% kissed
86% french kissed
74% cheated on an exam
57% had sex
53% smoked marijuana
42% cheated in a relationship
23% intentionally burned oneself
20% slept with a married man or woman
18% slept with someone without knowing his/her name

Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are resourceful, sly, and guaranteed to get away with everything:

"The subject shows a very high level of intelligence, and his sense of observation is one of his best qualities. Considering this, he shows a lot of potential, but that's only part of the equation.

"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; he just isn't tough enough, sir, and he avoids any solution that involves violence.

"Finally, the subject displayed a healthy (better than most net freaks anyway) sense of humor, a decent and respectable sense of morality, and a barbaric self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."

I HATE THESPARK.COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:O

http://test3.thespark.com/ba/bitch35.gifborder="0">

>:O

heh.

31% percent bastard, 18% tard.

Tell that to my neck muscles and my fellow commuters. Fuck you, TheSpark.com.

Wow, your inner rock star is Bjork. You've charmed the world with your beautiful, zany, personal style. To say you're a member of the alternative set would be a gross understatement. You and Bjork define alternative in its purest form. You've got nothing to prove, it's your remarkably creative point of view that lets you make art from anything—art, music, politics—whatever makes you passionate. It's just who you are. You've got the courage to experiment with your style and career, and all the while remaining positively sweet and humble. You are as much a free spirit as they come. Celebrate your inner Bjork.

31% sexy.

Celebrate your inner Bjork.

does that relate to the sex test?

Like Vin, you probably still like playing hard, that's the way you can really experience life. Leave the armchairs for other people. You, like your movie star double, prefer an edge that makes you feel alive. Vin never apologizes for the decisions he's made, probably because they've been right for him regardless of what others say. Sound familiar?

60% on the love thing

I'm 48% gay; and

on the pick up test: I am 65% pickupable.

Now I must pretend to work some more.

"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.

"Finally, the subject displayed a insane and twisted (rather brilliant) sense of humor, a fair and productive sense of morality, and a hot shot self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."

Final Score: 64% Un-telligent

Slightly atonal chords and mildly distracting lights! You are
64%
rock-solid friend.

Are you a Virgo? I'm not surprised. You're a good friend at times, but other times you're harder to count on than an abacus coated with finger-repellent. And made of razor blades. You're the type of friend that when somebody asks you to hang out with them, you say you want to hang out but then you never actually specify a time, so that you don't actually have to hang out with that person. But you're generally trustworthy and sensitive to others' needs, like a warm elephant on a cold morning. You'll never be the Best Man at a wedding, but you'll also never be the Worst Man. Don't be shy about using phlegm or bile to show your friends you care about them.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT????????????????????????????????

http://test3.thespark.com/sa/slut9.gifborder=0>

I'm cleaner than 98% of the world! I did not need to have this test tell me this!

Now onto the bitch test....

http://test3.thespark.com/sa/slut9.gif

You've got the charm, charisma, and energy to be the life of any party. Any room lights up when you walk in, and people can't help but flock to you. Whether it's your incredible zest for life, or the fact that everyone knows you turn the fun dial up about ten notches, you are always a welcomed guest in any group.

Chances are you embrace life wholeheartedly and truly make the most of every day and every situation. Your spark and sweetness (not to mention your unmatched flirting skills) draw people to you like a magnet. It's amazing how people come to you from all angles, and you mix well with all of them. So next time you're out painting the town red, play up your playful side and order the cocktail that has the same vibrant spirit as you!

I really am not liking these tests.

Please let this one work.

BURN IN HELL, EMODE! EAT EVERY INCH OF MY SCROTOM!

The info on your 20 future sex partner(s):
6 of them will be female
14 of them will be male
And you will actually love 1 of them!
You have a 19% chance of dying during sex.

Whatta way to go...

I am so glad I can count luna ("My Protectress") as a friend. *laughs*

Rented Stepchild
(ormal Ignored Dysfunctional Child)

Your inner child is the Rented Stepchild (NIDC) --who the world likes to kick in the head. Abandoned and left adrift you have issues with love, hate and everything in between. With all these issues going against your inner child, he still manages to put the *fun* in dysfunctional: when your inner child wants to laugh, he cries. When he wants to leap, he crumbles. Dance, sit. And so forth.

The cool thing is that all of these problems aren't that unconscious and can be easily "fixed." Simply buy a signifigant other, marry some possesions and then create stepchildren of your own. Pass off your problems to them, inheritance style, and you'll immediately start to feel better!

You have a knack for greatness. For the record,you are:

79% Un-telligent!
which is significantly higher than the current average of 60%

Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are resourceful and sly woman:

"Interesting. While the subject shows an above average level of intelligence, her sense of observation is somewhat below average. We attribute this to the egotistical nature of the subject. Actually, rats behave in the same manner, but she's smarter than any animal.

"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.

"Finally, the subject displayed a poor (and a little bit boring) sense of humor, a fair and productive sense of morality, and a barbaric self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."

Final Score: 79% Un-telligent

What the heck is a "barbaric" self-confidence? "Poor (and a little boring) sense of humor"? Er, well, this would explain a heck of a lot. Oh yeah, and Myers-Briggs could've told you about paragraph # 1, though I kinda protest it, to be honest with you.

The Three Musketeers. The Three Amigos. The Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse? you belong, dude, you belong! Some people put their neck on the line for their friends; you put your ass on the line. And by the way, nice ass. People know they can count on you in a crunch, in a jam, and in other food metaphors describing times of desperation. You give the gift of hope, but more importantly, you give the gift of kidney. Your rewards in life will be great, or at least better than other people's. To quote a fortune cookie: "You are soon have a fortunate experiences."

Hey, how about that? So, how's about a friendship, you guys?

(All my boyfriends have been girly men, so it'd be a laugh to see what a Big Girl HSA is.)

Also, The Spark is 86% sure that I'm a woman.

Your COGIATI result value is: 170

Which means that you fall within the following category:

COGIATI classification FOUR, PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL
What this means is that the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be essentially feminine, but with some masculine or androgynous traits. It is very possible that you are a candidate for a diagnosis of transsexualism. You show a strong degree of gender dysphoria. At the very least, further investigation should be undertaken. Your COGIATI score places you among the majority of those diagnosed as transsexuals, the 'late onset' tanssexual.

SUGGESTIONS FOR ACTION:

Your situation is potentially serious and indicative of a probable inborn gender conflict. It is definitely recommended that you pursue further action.

The suggestions for your circumstance are several.

1. It is recommended that you seek help from a sympathetic counselor or professional about your gender issues. It is very possible that over time they will become increasingly difficult to cope with. Early determination of what you really need and want is vital. You need to determine if you truly are transsexual. Keep in mind, thought, that many alternatives exist other than complete sexual transformation. Partial transformation and many other way of existing are available. While you are very possibly a transsexual, COGIATI has determined that this is not absolutely certain. While time is an issue, being certain is more important. Proceed with investigation of your possible transsexuality or transgenderism, but with caution.

2. Some actions may help you to define your needs more clearly. Experimenting with living full time as a woman, taking hormones for a short time under supervision, or taking testosterone suppressers to observe how you feel are all viable options. Keep in mind that while it is very likely that you might be a transsexual, it is not certain. Do not take severe or permanent actions without long thought and the help of counselors and professionals.

3. Your gender issues are real, and should not be ignored. Neither should you rush into acting on them, however powerful they may feel. You do not fit the full criterion for the rarest classification, classic transsexuality, and so should be cautious, and open to possibilities. You may yet end up undergoing transition, and the path of the transsexual may well be your salvation. Be very careful, but do not ignore your issues.

4. If you have not already, consider joining any of the thousands of groups devoted to gender expression of various kinds. There is literally a world of friends to discover who share your interests. There are also publications, vacations, and activities that would expand your gender expression.

I didn't get very far - about as far as the "dressing en femme" thing and well, I'm a girl, so that's not going to be very useful to me, is it?

It tests really annoying stereotypical things - and I happen to be a woman who is generally very good at mathematics and spacial logistics, so of course i'm going to score high on the male index. And who says only males have trouble with emotional situations? I have trouble with them just cause I'm English!

Because I dress quite androgynously usually. The only time I dress up super-girly is for sexual purposes - i.e. to get a sexual thrill, or give someone else a sexual thrill. Does that make me less female?

"5. Would you eat chocolate-covered asphalt if it would make your crush laugh?"

from here, let us also post our favourite questions from the quizes.

(Because often when I dress up super girly, I do just feel like a transvestite man, rather than Man, I feel like a woman.)

"Dammit, I told you to stay out of my bitchness! Now I'mma cut you!"

!!!!!!!!

FUCKING COME ON WITH THE XPOSTS TEENY :)

B) I can't imagine a more unpleasant scenario for teeth to be used in any way. Except for maybe if I found loose teeth in my food, that'd be horrible.

xpost but sam that's the point! The question wasn't about love bites or nibbling or whatever (which I still think is totally uncalled for in that area but I'm sure people enjoy it) but specifically about GNAWING ie real biting! That's a really horrible thing to do unless you are in a situation where it'd be necessary to do to extract yourself from it, and I specifically remember the question and being like god that really IS a horrible thing to do.

(shrug) Fuck it....technology is usually wrong.

I'm a bit scared about the part where it says "52% can use a gun", though. Americans...