White men calling black men "bro" for no particular reason

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

This is the most duddest thing ever.

Story: I'm walking home from dinner and trying to decide whether I should go and see this guy I know and his band tonight.

Anyway, I walk past these people who are out on the town, one of whom is this lame-looking Yuppie-ish white guy in the official lame-looking Yuppie-ish white guy going-out uniform (black slacks, tucked-in black silky/shiny button-down shirt), and he's all puffed up like he's Big Man Out on the Town or something, and he says to me in his best I'm Tough voice, "What's up, bro."

What the fucking fuck? "Bro?" No one in my life has ever called me "bro" except for a long string of lame white guys like this one. Can any of you guys explain this to me?

This experience, for some reason, was almost as infuriating as the time I won the fifth grade spelling bee and the principal tried to do some kind of weird-ass jive-turkey handshake with me. I mean, I just won the spelling bee. Presumably I can deal with shaking hands in a normal fashion.

― the artist latterly known as nabisco is pissy today, you may have noticed, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

People use the femmine pronoun and straight guys call me fag w/o noticing it. Is this the same thing

― anthony, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hmm ... what you're describing seems just plain rude, Anthony, or at the least not an attempt to "fit in" with you. Whereas with the "bro" thing, you almost get the feeling that these people expect you to think, "Hey, this white guy is down with my culture." Which is such a ridiculous underestimation of black people's mental capacity that it makes me shiver with rage.

Like, if an obviously non-surfing black person from Atlanta walked up to a bunch of surfers in California and said, "How's it hanging, dudes?," would you expect the surfers to think, "Wow, this person is one of us, man?"

― Nitsuh, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i think you may have answered your own question in your last post, Nitsuh. when i have seen white guys calling brown guys "bro" here in New Zealand, they are trying to prove they are "down". trying to get some kind of credibility. i can understand why it would fuck you off, it makes me cringe when i see it happening. these fuckin lame-o's are usually the kind of people that would never want to have non-white friends anyway, and whats worse is they seem to think that their attention is special, that you should go "oooh i feel so validated, a white person called me 'bro'".

― di, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think it's a bit unfair. I have to finish this thought because my friend rang and if I dont go now he'll be in the shower. People call people bro all the time as far as I can see.

― Ronan, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nitsuh, I wouldn't sweat it, the guy was just a liberal-racist dork and you are right, probably has no black friends because families of colour weren't allowed to join his folks' country club or something. And says 'ah, so' around any Oriental person.

If you see him again just say "greetings, Earthling."

― suzy, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

People like that embarass(sp, pinefox?) me so much it makes my cobblers retract. I can't explain it, because I'd never do it, or even think to do it. It's stupid & just a v. small step on from "natural rythmn" IMO. I think Nitsuh would be quite justified in kicking said fellow in the stones next time he sees him. Alternatively, engage the fool in conversation, ask him what his favourite film is, and when he patronisingly replies w/some blaxpliotation stuff, go on at great length abt tarkovski, which someone I know actually did, to quite good effect.

x0x0

― |\|0|2/|\4|\| |=4'/, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, I get irritated when guys like that call me 'bro' and I'm white -- so I can only imagine how you feel, Nitsuh. For me, it's just as bad as being called 'guy' or 'dude' or 'tiger' or 'sport' or 'champ' or 'fella'. But yeah, you can't help but think there's some racial connotation going on in your case. (It's even worse when it sounds like they're saying 'brah'.)

Anthony's situation seems pretty cut and dry insensitive, though I have gay male friends who like to be referred to as girl/she/her; they refer to me the same way, which, despite being straight, I'm perfectly fine with. That has more to do with the context, I spose.

― Andy, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's even worse when it sounds like they're saying 'brah'.

You have just defined one of the worst aspects of OC for me. Huntington Beach dorks who apparently listen exclusively to Limp Bizkit and Korn who either wear wifebeater T-shirts and hang around the Pier or go to UCI and end up in frats, and they always say 'brah'. GARG!

Sounds like you've dealt with a string of Fucking Assholes, Nitsuh -- I think Suzy called it pretty well, and it could just have something to do with manners one was taught as a kid. I was always told to say 'hi' -- or in my usual private wall-around-self way just to quietly walk along. If someone says 'good morning' or whatever I'll always respond in kind, though -- that's only right. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Some guy's running for mayor of new york, late 60's. adressing african-american conference or something. he says, "my heart is as black as yours.". he didn't win.

― matthew james, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It could have been worse. What is he'd said " Sup Niggah?" . I often wonder what black people who talk with allot of black affect think of me when we are talking and they are all like " Oh snap, that shit is wacked! " and then I'm like " Yeah, its weird alright!" . I also feel this way around white people though. I think I am very stiff in public , and nervous too. I can never match anyone's enthusiasm for anything. Its difficult to smile, I find. Now I live where therea re southerners around and they are all like " Yee haw! How y'all doin!" and I am like " I'm alright". I need some cocaine I guess.

― Pennysong Hanle y, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OK, I worked at a black women's magazine for six months this year and EVERYONE in the office spoke the London patois. All you need is one Jamaican in your office with a forceful personality and soon even the uptight Nigerian girls who spend the ENTIRE WEEKEND in church are saying an' t'ing, innit? Cyan you not see?

It is very easy for me to distinguish between a white kid that's grown up with black and Asian friends (see: Raggastani bits in White Teeth) and a white kid with zero contact with kids from different racial or class backgrounds. But I *can* spot a weave at 50 paces, which astonished my colleagues at the magazine: "White girls usually don't know Jack about extensions!"

― suzy, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't lnow, I mean my high school had all races but we all acted pretty much the same. We were all equally lame.

― Pennysong Hanle y, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Isn't "what up bro" just some hippieish slang? I know lots of people who talk like that to everybody.

― Kris, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Next time this happens you can say 'The opposite to down, long lost frere.' Or 'G, you're dead, nothing personal see, it's all about respect.' I hate it when men call me 'woman' because it's better than saying 'chick' or 'girl'. Like 'you're a very intelligent woman.' Why can't they just say 'person'? It creeps me out cos it makes me think of hippies who exploit feminism in order to get to fuck more girls. Plus I am too weak to be a woman.

― maryann, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kris: yes.

BTW, if I got called "sport", "champ" or "tiger", I'd totally love it, especially if it was in bed.

― Sean, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I reckon these guys call everyone "Bro", because they are hip and crazy dudes. Or think they are.

― DV, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sean: CHAMP?????

― Dan Perry, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ok, maybe I was getting a little carried away.

― Sean, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fella, though...I've never heard anyone called "fella". Except with noirish dames and 70s gay caricatures. Bring back "fella"!

― Arthur, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My mum says 'fella', lacing it with pernicious sarcasm.

― suzy, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I call my freinds "Bro" all the time. None of em are black tho'.

― duane, Tuesday, 11 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As for "fella"--I call boys that all the time. Not sure if it's entirely appreciated, though.

The thing that always got to me was how my ex-boyfriend got me using the term "Cats". I felt like such a turtle-necked beatnik. And not even a full turtleneck, a mock one.

― Mandee Wright, Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have decided to call everyone "Chief".

― Ally, Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You haven't been reading that Zadie Smith book, have you?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

CAPTAIN! (I learned that from Mr Hopkins.)

― the pinefox, Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I call everyone "dudes" but once in awhile I say "kids" which is embarrassing.

― maria, Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I say 'Hello little fella!' to some of my friends just before I rub their head in an affectionate way.

― Nick, Thursday, 13 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...

I'm mixed indian ,Black and white and i thought i'd give my 2 cent on this crap i call all people Bro!dawg! or whatever i never use the Nigger word because that's racial slur and and a sterotype , black people get angry when white people say it, but the truth is the black people are the ones keeping it around, mainly in rap music of today, that's why i'm a hip-hop head that's mainly what i like i won't find the nigger word there much.., i also like pop and some altenantive rock.. does that make me a sellout-Hell no! you like what you like ya like.alot of black people think that other blacks are supposes to understand the street ghetto slang, that's offesnive to some but it's not true, it just needs to stop all the racial stereotypes and all,and unite as one!

― R.S. II, Friday, 30 January 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

damn, dawg

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

an obviously non-surfing black person

― hgkjlhkjh, Saturday, 31 January 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

If you see him again just say "greetings, Earthling."
http://www.sg1hc.com/caps/tealc/mit03.jpg
In my culture, there is no shame is crushing feeble Earther snowflake creatures.

― Lord Custos Orisis (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 31 January 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.handbasketholidays.com/images/SG1/impression.jpg

― Lord Custos Orisis (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 31 January 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

A stranger called me "Champion" a few months ago.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 31 January 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I should have responding by barking. (I liked it, actually.)

at the camp i went to in 1985 a group of boys formed "the bros." i wasn't asked to be in it and i felt very left out. the guys stuck stickers on their lockers that they'd written "Bro" on with a black felt-tip pen. eventually they let me in, i think out of pity as much as anything else. the guy i was closest with wrote "Bro" on a sticker and he put it on my locker, but i was disappointed because he had a different pen that day, so my sticker didn't look like everyone else's. this was the same guy that on a bus ride to the beach sat next to me and spyacked endlessly into an empty bread bag.

anyway nabisco I know tons of white guys that say "bro" to everybody, usually exactly the guy you describe except maybe w/khakis, or even hacky sack kings, or that long continuum between those poles. it's pretty stupid saying "bro" to a stranger though. that word is kind of reserved, not just for black people but for actual bros. you don't throw it around like "buddy" or "pal". haha the worst would be if he said "dawg" - hahaha oh dear. i had your same recoiling actually listening to "killin em softly" (dave chapelle) when he goes "my lawyers be white..." and it struck me wrong like "doth protest too much." that might have been the joke though. sometimes i lose track of which layer of irony people are at on comedy albums because you can't see ppl's expression.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 31 January 2004 02:27 (twenty-one years ago)

People used to call me "flash".

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 31 January 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you flashy?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 31 January 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Only when he's wearing his "magic" trenchcoat.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 31 January 2004 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i met a south african dude who involved me in a long story about him visiting london in which he talked about going up to various black people and saying 'bro' and other such familiarities. i was embarrassed.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Saturday, 31 January 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Um, when you say South African, do you mean a Bantu "resident" or one of the Afrikaaner Dutch?

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 31 January 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

What would the difference be according to you, Lord Custos?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 31 January 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I like when
a)white guys hit on me by mentioning their affinity for basketball
b)people assume I should be listening to rap and not Wilco
c)I sic the Tweedy-man on their asses
(okay, I made that last one up)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Saturday, 31 January 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Can the Tweedy man be sicced onto anyone? It seems like it would be hard for him!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 31 January 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

a)white guys hit on me by mentioning their affinity for basketball

priceless!!!

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 31 January 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

an obviously non-surfing black person

"Ummm...what is 'The Rejected Working Title of This Nation's Saving Grace', Alex?"

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Sunday, 1 February 2004 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

http://digilander.libero.it/beverlyh90210/Steve1.jpg
Steve Sanders. American. Patriot. Flaming Lips fan. Bro.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 1 February 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

What would the difference be according to you, Lord Custos?
Well, because a Bantu might succesfully pull off that whole "I am of the Blood of Africa, and am therefore 'brother' to all others of the Blood of Africa".
Tell you what, I'll offer you two scenarios, and you tell me which one is more awkward and uncomfortable:

Scenario One: Archbiship Desmond Tutu walks up to Doctor Dre and sez "Whass Happenin', Bro!?" and then tries to high five with him.

Scenario Two: P.W. Botha walks up to Doctor Dre and sez "Whass Happenin', Bro!?" and then tries to high five with him.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 1 February 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Aargh, I wish this thread hadn't been revived, as I feel very bad about it. It was actually a minor point, and underexplained: obviously I understand that plenty of people say "bro" to everyone, it was just that with the guy in question in this particular instance it was a very affected "bro," a bit like yr retirement-age math teacher trying to impress you by calling you "home skillet" or some such. And the main reason it was funny to me was that it was so uber-serious, like I might run him out of the neighborhood if I didn't like the look of him. (I am small and it wasn't that kind of neighborhood.)

Anyway I find this thread very embarrassing in retrospect, I apologize and hope these clarifications help.

― nabiscothingy, Sunday, 1 February 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, If it makes you feel any better, all these Pennsylvanians adopt bad surfer accents with me whenever they find out I'm from California.

As if every Californian is some sorta surf bum or somethin'.
BAH!

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 1 February 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

GODDAMMIT! This is the second time my contribu-SHUN to this thread has been deleted! Just imagine it being the single most kick ass post that could have been, 'cuz my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome's acting up, and it hoits like buttgoblins with pitchforks. I'll give you a hint, though. It involved this stiff, slightly-toned, athletic, self-congratulatory, condescending, David Watts type motherfucker in the most disgusting display of 'Hey, lookee me, kiss the jock' histrionics I've ever had the embarrassment to witness, while going on and on, calling everybody his DOHH'WWG to show he was well down with the canines, as far as I could tell.

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Sunday, 1 February 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

fastest way the tip scale goes on the downslide is when the waiter/waitress trys to "relate" to whatever way one looks with adopted slang they feel will be looked at as cool..

― thomas de'aguirre (biteylove), Sunday, 1 February 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a habit of calling everyone "Sir" - you get funny looks, but hey, I'm a quirky fun guy.

― Johnney B, Sunday, 1 February 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

The funny looks might be due to your persistence in calling women that as well as men.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 1 February 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey nabisco - it ain't no thang!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 1 February 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Um, when you say South African, do you mean a Bantu "resident" or one of the Afrikaaner Dutch?

Please please visit SA and call an Afrikaner a Dutchman or a black guy a Bantu and report back on your findings.

― Sam (chirombo), Monday, 2 February 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I for one would encourage Custos in this experiment.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Monday, 2 February 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry, perhaps i should have specified white south african, but i thought it would be clear from the context

i dont know his ethnic origins

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 2 February 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Please please visit SA and call an Afrikaner a Dutchman or a black guy a Bantu and report back on your findings.
Theoretically Boring. It would only become a fistfight if I phrase the question badly.

Me: Excuse me, are you of the Bantu?
Random Black SA Guy: No, I'm of the (Name of other Bloodline)
Me: Oh. Okay. Sorry to have bothered you.

Me: Excuse me, are you Dutch or an Afrikaaner?
Random White SA Guy: (Answers Question)
Me: Oh. Okay. Sorry to have bothered you.

sorry, perhaps i should have specified white south african, but i thought it would be clear from the context
It was PW Botha wasn't it. C'mon, Amatuerist. Fess up!

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Monday, 2 February 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

(uncomfortable stirring of club patrons, bartender coughs, otherwise silence)

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 2 February 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't taunt the white guy with a shaky understanding of racial politics, it's not nice.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 2 February 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, are you of the Bantu?

― Sam (chirombo), Monday, 2 February 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

YOU CUNTING FUCK

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 2 February 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

(*fistfight ensues*)

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Monday, 2 February 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...

IM LIKE THIS WHY DO BLACK PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE TO WHINE ABOUT EVERYTHING THEY SO CALL RASIST OMG PLEASE GET OVER YOUR SELFS NO ONE IN THIS CUALTURE EVEN DID ANYTHING TO YOU AND IF YOU DONT LIKE BEING CALLED BRO OR ANY OF THE HAND SHAKES WELL DANG GET OVER IT YA NO IT IS SO CHILDISH,,,,,IF SOME ONE CALLS ME BRO IM LIKE OK IM NOT GOING TO CRY ABOUT IS SO GET OVER IT......JESUS

― billy milletti, Friday, 27 February 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Jesus, we could use you on a couple other threads.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS TOO
HE CALLED ALL HIS DISCIPLES BRO EXCEPT JUDAS
THAT MOTHERFUCKER WAS STONE COLD
HE PIMPED JESUS FOR POCKET MONEY

― eugenius landy, Friday, 27 February 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Come come now, it's rude to shout. Please lower your tone and be more respectful. This is a place of learning. Thank you.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm like, if you expended all that energy on that post, why can't you spare some for the spellcheck? Damn, dawg, I'm not feelin' ya.

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Woah, I thought that was signed JESS.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Donna's opened a can of worms. If a black person calls a white person "dawg" or "bro" is he required to respond with "chap" or "old bean"?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

My good man, I should think not.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Woah, I thought that was signed JESS.

is that the rapper name for JESUS?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I think N. should tell his story about getting his prize in school again.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 27 February 2004 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry, I meant Nitsuh, not whatever Mr Dastoor is calling himself these days.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 27 February 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder how Jesus would feel about being called bro. Yo Jesus Bro, nice pair of Jerusalem Cruisers.

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 27 February 2004 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"Chapette"

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 27 February 2004 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...

Funny, you have a problem with white guys saying "bro" welldo you have a problem with ignorant inbred blacks calling each other "nigger" as in "nigga"? I have yet to see indians walking around all jive, calling each other "what up, injun?"

― Russ, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 06:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Reading comprehension not your strong point, is it?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 06:47 (twenty-one years ago)

time for Thread-Locking Beats

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 06:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I hear thread-locking beats are naturally rhythmic.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"What up injun?" is my new catchphrase.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 11:13 (twenty-one years ago)

injun number nine?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

he always on time

― LC, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

how?

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.google.no/search?hl=eng&q=%22calling+black+men+bro&meta=

― man, Monday, 17 October 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

i call everyone bro. equal opportunity, bro.

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 17 October 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

i have never called anyone bro, nor has anyone ever called me bro.

when referring to me, black men tend to use the name of some slow white basketball player.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 17 October 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

I'm still kind of perplexed by "what up, injun?"

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

I can't believe I didn't revive this thread last year! Right, so I kinda got embarrassed about this one, because no one seemed to know what I mean, and I couldn't seem to explain it to anyone, and I started wondering if it was just me overreacting -- hence my fall-on-the-sword apology a while back. BUT THEN. I was standing on Bleeker Street with a sometime-ilxor, and these drunk people (two male, one female, all white) come along having a good time, and the drunker of the guys stumbles up in my direction and goes "WAAZZZUUP, BROOOO" and then puts up his hand for a high-five. And this time I had backup: it was just pathetic bad, kinda link drunkenly wandering into a room and seeing an Asian guy and going "Ah, so, me Chinese, me play joke" and so on. Vindication! Me: "Remember that thread I felt bad about?" Her: "Wow, you weren't kidding." It totally happens!

― nabiscothingy, Monday, 17 October 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

Like this dude's whole demeanor was basically like "hahaha lol a black person lol 'pimpin ain't easy' lol 'slap me some skin.'"

― nabiscothingy, Monday, 17 October 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

Wait, white people were trying to say that this doesn't happen???

I am now going to wander the streets when I'm drunk and shout, "HELLO MR. CRACKER!" at all of the white guys I encounter and jokingly try to get them to open a Roth IRA.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

I really don't mean to make light of anything, especially considering my own issues with total strangers who think I want to know about their inner monologues, but the "bro" thing is SO pathetic-bad, isn't it even the smallest bit funny? Maybe on a good day? What do you say to them, tell 'em to fuck off or opt for the high road and keep walking?

XP Dan, I hope I don't have to explain to my boss why I just started laughing out loud -- she's lookin' at me all funny-like.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 17 October 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

I figured this sort of thing was only perpetrated by the heels in bad teen comedies.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 17 October 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

"Hey sir, you've diversified your portfolio, right? Right? House in the Hamptons, hahahahaha!"

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

"Now THIS man looks like his 401(k) has appreciated very nicely! Let's listen to Toby Keith! LOL"

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

what about Hulk Hogan-style "Brah"?

― kingfish neopolitan sundae (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

I think that when a white guy calls you a "bro" again, nabisco, you should call him yr soul sistah and nod at him. That would teach him. Or get you punched.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

what about Hulk Hogan-style "Brah"?

In what universe is this not the same thing????

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:06 (twenty years ago)

Going back to Anthony's original point, I've got an entire circle of male friends who refer to themselves and anyone they talk to as "gurl", regardless of gender/sexual orientation. I have caught myself on the verge of calling coworkers "gurl" on more than one occasion.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:09 (twenty years ago)

nabrosco

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

nitsuh abrobe

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

nabisbro?

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

actually, a handful of times black guys have called me "G". it seems possible that irony was involved

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

It's usually kinda pathetic-funny, L! Although this current example wasn't, because I declined to give the guy five, and then the three of them kinda shot me snotty "what's his problem" looks. So yeah, it's funny apart from that annoying moment where you realize you're actually expected to shuffle and cooperate and entertain.

This thread has always been read as a serious complaint, and it's really not; geez, if people occasionally calling me "bro" was my biggest problem, I'd be a happy guy. It's just funny/annoying.

― nabiscothingy, Monday, 17 October 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

"G"? What's that mean, is it short for "Guy"? Also, there has been a high occurrence of black guys calling me Snowflake, which, all things considered, I'm okay with. And on Saturday I was coming back from the laundromat and someone said, in a sort of quiet, mocking way "Did you wash your whites today? Did you keep them separate from the coloreds?" At the time I thought WTF?! but in retrospect it's pretty funny.

"...I declined to give the guy five" = Hee!

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

I had to be told that nabisco was black. Maybe by nabisco himself. I don't know, maybe it was because I have been drunk the first couple of times I have met nabisco. still.

― Mendoza Lineman (Carey), Monday, 17 October 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

Haha: and now this white guy on Judge Mathis just tried to tell Mathis his landlord was "all up in his Kool-Aid," and then Mathis decided to pretend this meant the guy was gay, and then when Mathis made reference to the guy's roommate, the guy said "whoah no, brotha, I don't do that with the boys." I love Judge Mathis with all my heart.

xpost Carey the fact that everyone thinks I'm Indian just makes stuff like this all the more bizarre and ridiculous! I mean, when you're trying to get all jive-turkey with Indian-looking guys in corduroy, something is probably weird in your concepts of race.

― nabiscothingy, Monday, 17 October 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

I practically shit myself when I saw that google link.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 17 October 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

In what universe is this not the same thing????

I thought "bra" was a poorly appropriated Hawaiian/islander thing?

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

http://www.partypants.co.uk/hawaii/hawaii-shell-bra.jpg

― The Ghost of Appropriated From Hawaiians (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

Oh, please -- get one (1) set of tits.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:26 (twenty years ago)

"G"? What's that mean, is it short for "Guy"?

I think I've always assumed that "G" derived from "gangsta."

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:29 (twenty years ago)

N., your mention of Judge Mathis makes me sad, because if my landlord was still alive, maybe I wouldn't be getting kicked out of my apartment next month.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

(My old landlord, that is: Bailiff Brendan.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

I am new to all this and always want to expand my sexual horizon

― gear (gear), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

G stands for gangsta, yes.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

Oh, please -- get one (1) set of tits
Now, I get upset when stangers on the street say THAT to me.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

Strangers, too.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

i'm a very poor excuse for a gangsta

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 17 October 2005 18:54 (twenty years ago)

Some of my friends refer to their own kids (who are typically less than five years old) as "bro", "brah", "sister" or my least favorite, "girlfriend." FYI, these people are all honkies.

And just for the record, I'm very much sick of watching two year olds get taught a dozen different ways to "gimme five"--what's up with all those parents thinking it's cool to have their toddler look like a pro athlete who just scored a run?

― don weiner (don weiner), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:29 (twenty years ago)

They should be teaching them pounds and forearm bumps. My kids are going to be all about the Bash Brothers action.

― Are You Nomar? (miloaukerman), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

I would be just as happy if none of the hypothetical future fruits of my womb did ANYthing "like a pro athlete".

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

I would! EARLY RETIREMENT FOR THE PERRY FAMILY WOO HOO

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

"Fuck college, son. TURN PRO NOW."

― Are You Nomar? (miloaukerman), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:42 (twenty years ago)

"Say, whassup, Pro?"

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

happens to me ALL THE TIME but doesn't bother me as much as maybe it should. i mean, they could call me worse things.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

They should be teaching them pounds and forearm bumps. My kids are going to be all about the Bash Brothers action

yes, that's exactly what these people do. Including the "whassup?"

― don weiner (don weiner), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

http://www.hbo.com/entourage/img/252x190/episodes/season02/ep16_turtle_drama_252.jpg

― Are You Nomar? (miloaukerman), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

drunk black guys in philly either called me dude or big guy. i hate when people call me dude for some reason. and i hate "guy" too.i never had a problem with big guy though. nothing beats the drunk dude who called me Bachman Turner Overdrive though. Not even the drunk dude who called me Led Zeppelin.

― scott seward (scott seward), Monday, 17 October 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

white men are odd

― Surmounter, Wednesday, 11 June 2008 13:57 (seventeen years ago)

Oh man I remember this one.

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 11 June 2008 13:59 (seventeen years ago)

two weeks pass...

I never did the Roth IRA thing.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:55 (seventeen years ago)

white people are annoying

― The Brainwasher, Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:56 (seventeen years ago)

is that racist

― The Brainwasher, Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:56 (seventeen years ago)

sorry white guys

― The Brainwasher, Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:56 (seventeen years ago)

The wounds will heal. Eventually.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:01 (seventeen years ago)

what a terrible thing to say.

― Surmounter, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:02 (seventeen years ago)

Surmounter, this will probably seem like a douchey thing to say, but I'm really just curious -- as a Middle Easterner, what do you mark on forms when asked to identify your race?

― jaymc, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:18 (seventeen years ago)

"200, 400"

― HI DERE, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:20 (seventeen years ago)

I never did the Roth IRA thing.

-- HI DERE, Thursday, June 26, 2008 4:55 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you SHOULD have, though!

― Eisbaer, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:20 (seventeen years ago)

i.e., send a $5K check to the DAN PERRY FUND.

― Eisbaer, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:21 (seventeen years ago)

I think you should just respond with a term white people call each other. Or just whitey <<---Its what I do.
Incidentally, what DO white people call each other as a term of endearment or affection?

― VeronaInTheClub, Friday, 27 June 2008 02:08 (seventeen years ago)

'hey cunt'

― electricsound, Friday, 27 June 2008 02:12 (seventeen years ago)

'owzit scumbag'

― moley, Friday, 27 June 2008 02:17 (seventeen years ago)

I had a black guy call me 'bro' recently and it alleviated some of the nabisco inspired guilt I had acquired from referring to black guys as 'dudes'.

― bnw, Friday, 27 June 2008 02:26 (seventeen years ago)

in 2 Fast 2 Furious one of the guys calls another guy "breh"

― iiiijjjj, Friday, 27 June 2008 02:53 (seventeen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.