My little sister got a new job finally. At Hooters.

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Lucky. Fucking. Bitch.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't care for wings, but, uh...there's a joke somewhere.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

there always is

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 02:28 (twenty-two years ago)

When she was ten, she told everyone in her class that her ambition was to become a nun. 8 years later, she's a stripper holding hot sauce.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 02:29 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, okay...I don't like wings, but I like boobs. That's what's great about Hooters.

I've never actually been. Because I don't like wings. Or the smell of pent-up desire.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

haha - I knew this was an Ally thread

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't understand. What's lucky about working at Hooters?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

free onion rings!

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Jon Gruden has a Hooters credit card

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally I don't know what this means, but my (male) roomate is a cook at Hooters...

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I read that as Josh Groban has a Hooters credit card to which I respond, "That's how he keeps the pipes clean."

But really, Hooters seems like a job like any other, except with better tips and greasier hands.

― Carey (Carey), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Who the hell is Josh Groban? I've been wondering this for weeks now. He's in the AOL broadband commercial, alongside lots of people you've heard of. He seems an awful lot like AOL made him up.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't "get" Hooters (New thread:"Why don't British people "get" Hooters?"). What do you do, keep ordering sides so you get so to see a little jiggling? I hear the food is good, actually.

There was a terrible Hooters knock-off in London called Honkers. I never went, but all the women on the posters were horse-faced and mannish. It didn't stay open long.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 07:45 (twenty-two years ago)

where oh where is that Red Meat generator when you really, truly need it?

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be so proud. (and soon, she can join Hooters Air)

― H (Heruy), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:24 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the thread where you post the ranting of ILX0rs into Red Meat comic strips

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:33 (twenty-two years ago)

in Hooters are the waitresses topless or just in little dresses?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:34 (twenty-two years ago)

They're very clean cut - little orange shorts, little white t-shirts, nasty tights. Totally and utterly unstimulating, honestly.

(I went to the one in Nottingham - is it the only one in the UK? - for a stag weekend)

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:42 (twenty-two years ago)

someone has opened up a Shooters here in Dublin.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:44 (twenty-two years ago)

it doesn't work, Ed

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't do it, Nordic, DON'T...

aaah, wtf - do you give the waitress an extra big tip if you come in your pants? Seems fair.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Just seconds later, I really really regret posting that. But Dang can get away with it, so...

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 10:06 (twenty-two years ago)

yes it does http://monkeydyne.com/rmcs/

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

what is the pay like at hooters?

― H (Heruy), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

All you zombies show your faces

― Joe (Joe), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I got dragged to Hooters not once but twice last year for "business lunches"--the IMAX Corporation is perhaps not as sophisticated as some. The food was _awful_--even the fries were foul. Also the girls were ugly in that fresh-out-of-rural-Louisiana way, with the eyes a little too far apart (or too close together) and the reek of stale GPC Menthols tainting our "food." That my coworkers and the IMAX guys spent the whole time making lewd comments about both the waitresses and the female bodybuilding competition that was on the TV at the time didn't help.

Thus I rate My Time at Hooters as an Unpleasant Experience.

― adam (adam), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm getting a mental image of that Simpsons episode where Grandpa Simpson dances for Hitler in fish net tights

― j0e (j0e), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm just still amazed that she got a job at Hooters. She'll get the best tips cos she'll be the only non-horseface there. But still, the girl wanted to be a nun most of her life! Now she's in school to be an elementary school teacher! It's OUTRAGEOUS! My dad blames me.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i've never been to hooters - i take it the waitresses all have big tits and don't wear bras? it sounds gross yet interesting.

i'm going to open a rival chain for women called Nads, where there will be hot male waiters in extremely short yet loose shorts.

― j fail (cenotaph), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope they won't serve meatballs.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Hooters is great.

― Calum, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

no, hooters ARE great.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been to Hooters a lot, one of my friends (who happens to be gay) is in love with Hooters. It's bizarre, it's always me, him, and some random Israeli dude, all of his roommates are Israelis. And the waitresses. I have a shirt from Hooters, I'm pretty jealous of my sister, because I kept threatening to go work at Hooters but SHE ACTUALLY DID IT.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

at one of the places I used to work at in Chicago, we'd order Hooters for dinner all the time. I've eaten the food, but never been in one. Unfortunately, not long after I started this job I went veggie.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been to the original Hooters in Clearwater, business lunch. The girls were ok if you like stripperly types. I could gawk at women at Clearwater beach without having to pay for crap food if I wanted to do that.

Hooters has had many sexual harrassment lawsuits against it. I guess that is pretty much expected.

― fletrejet, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I the only one who keeps misreading the word "tips" on this thread? Yes? Okay. I'm off to perform penance.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, my dad clarified his misplaced blame: he believes this is the result of me giving my sister shiny leather pants.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"Shiny, shiny, shiny pants of leather..."

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm off to perform penance.

That's a new way of putting it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

h - Yet again, I kiss you!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

just no tongue - mind my lipstick.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the worst thing about Hooters is that they make them wear nude hose with shorts and white Reeboks. ::shudder::

http://www.originalhooters.com/saga/images/product1.jpeg

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Aren't you wearing your own leather pants over there, Han Solo?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Y'know...

I just have to ask: What in Holy Fuck is the deal with this vapid tone among Young College Intellectuals that seems to deride any playful expressions of the "straight male mindset" as being completely deplorable and "neanderthal"? And why do I get the feeling that those same YCI's would have "fuck-all" to say about, say, a known gay entertainer publicly drooling over which straight male celebs he'd love to see half-naked and greased up (something I've come across on a few occasions, in some of the movie/entertainment rags), for example???

I mean, not trying to start a fight here (although I doubt that'll fend off some of ILX's more Righteous types), but I'm just openly wondering...

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm going to open a rival chain for women called Nads, where there will be hot male waiters in extremely short yet loose shorts.

Supposedly there's a sports bar in Baltimore called Balls. No information on the staff uniform available.

Then my friend Jacki and were joking about opening a restaurant to be called Buns, featuring waiters in bike shorts and half-shirts.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

America is proud.

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, both me and my sister are Young College Intellectuals, and we're like living our lives on the basis of the straight male mindset.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Skittles, I don't really sense that tone here. First of all a few people here seem very enthusastic about Hooters. The rest (including myself) seem to feel that Hooters=just-not-titaliting-and-rather hilarous instead of "deplorable and "neanderthal".

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Skittles, you are bang on but to be fair that tone is more prevalent at ILM and Ally has never given me the impression that she's of this opinion (I mean, she's just started a thread on Hooters).

― Calum, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

The real urgent and key question is who is the entertainer, and who does he want to see greased up? I'm betting it's Nathan Lane discussing Matthew Broderick.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Skittles, I think your descriptions of ILXers as "righteous" and "hipsters" is a little unfounded. I for one, am so far from being either of those it's a joke. Maybe even hip!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey I know straight guys like to look at T&A. Big deal. This in and of itself is hardly offensive.

-Old, unhip, former college intellectual

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

But Nordicskillz, It's hip to deny you're a hipster!

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

there are a lot of strip clubs that serve food, y'know. Somehow, this does not appeal to me (despite being a fan of both naked girls and food).

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Besides, what is U&K is that we discuss those horrid, horrid uniforms.

come on Ally, I know you hate nude hose! Would you really want to work there and be forced to wear them?

(stence, I'd be afraid of the ol' pubic hair in the soup.)

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Hose with shorts is a horrible idea.

― Sarah MCLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Besides, what is U&K is that we discuss those horrid, horrid uniforms.

I've never understood them. Bright orange is appealing? To whom?

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

ddg, soup would be the last thing I'd order in a strip club.

The first thing would be a lapdance, of course.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Bright orange is appealing? To whom?

semafore workers?

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Murderers?

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Where are you from, skittles, that is so square that it makes ILX seem like hipstermania by comparison?

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Skittles: You have a point but part of this has to do with the restaurant setting. There's a notion (which the Hooters chain subtly encourages) that male restaurant patrons are entitled to ogle and maybe even grope female waitstaff, by virtue of their service role. And I admit that my "Buns" concept does play off a gender-bent version of this same dynamic.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Bright orange is appealing? To whom?
Tell this to Puma, please!

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never understood them. Bright orange is appealing? To whom?

Hunters, when not looking for deer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

But Nordicskillz, It's hip to deny you're a hipster!

That was the point of my last sentence, it just wasn't put well...A hipster would never make a mistake like that! Or would they?

Bright orange is often symbolic of madness. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I wore a bright orange shirt the first time I met all the NYC ILXors.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I am currently wearing a bright orange shirt.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

To be honest, I think I was reacting mostly to the tone of Adam's post -- "I got dragged to Hooters not once but twice last year for "business lunches"--the IMAX Corporation is perhaps not as sophisticated as some. The food was _awful_--even the fries were foul. Also the girls were ugly in that fresh-out-of-rural-Louisiana way, with the eyes a little too far apart" -- more than anything. The "YCI/righteous" comments were definitely tongue-in-cheek...

However, J.Lu, if you're opening a Buns joint in the Chicagoland area, feel free to send an application MY way...

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

The color of my candy-coated shell is, indeed, bright orange...

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

A coupla years ago I saw a former high school classmate at a bar where I was working. Turned out he was a Hooters manager. He looked me up and down really creepily and offered me a job.

It was just strange to see someone I hadn't seen in years and have him commenting on my tits rather than the usual pleasantries.

I'd look horrible in orange, anyway.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Hooters has a fantastic fried grouper sandwich (I was all-the-way veggie for a moment there, but I can't give up da fish, bullocks!). A girl I work with here works nights at Hooters. We ordered food from there the other day and her friend brought it. She was gorgeous, and wearing (slightly hippie-ish) street clothes.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

my one trip to hooters (also an "after work get together", although this was planned by us plebes not the higher ups) was like eating at bennigans minus the crazy crap on the walls with ugly, poorly dressed waitresses. dud.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

also anonymous "new" (probably old, regular) posters creating ilx strawmen: dud.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"ilx strawmen" = the new Star Wars figures?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Very flammable. Sacrificial idols perhaps? Wicker Men?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

also anonymous "new" (probably old, regular) posters creating ilx strawmen: dud.

Eat me, jess

(kidding)

― Geir Honky, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

All I'm saying is that everyone is right about the hose.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I myself have never been to a Hooters. I like the hardcore shit, like the Foxy Lady's "Legs and Eggs Saturdays".

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Foxy Lady's probably pays much better, too.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

There was a terrible Hooters knock-off in London called Honkers. I never went, but all the women on the posters were horse-faced and mannish. It didn't stay open long.

-- Nordicskillz (t1nym1n...), April 30th, 2003. (later)

haha, now "Honkers," on the other hand, really does sound crap.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to open a rival chain called "Punani". People would be lining up around the block for out famous "Punani Pretzels".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Will you have special desserts called "Sugarwalls"?

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris V is my new pastry chef. Who wants to be sous chef? ("I'd like the Hot Muff Bomb with extra drippings with a side order of Skins, please.")

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

our eclairs are now called "Moose Knuckles"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

do you serve hot sex on a platter, dan?

― hstencil, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Whatever you do, stay away from the crab.

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

As always, Dan raises the poetry of filth to Shakespearean levels and I can but bow in acknowledgement. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

we also carry "Plum Smugglers" and "The Kennebunkport Surprise", on special this week is the "Bat Wings"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Will you have a drink special called "The Hatchet Wound"?

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

"donkey punch"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"Dog in a bathtub"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Bright orange is appealing? To whom?
Tell this to Puma, please!

Bright orange is the new black.

Although I suspect fluorescent green will be the new cheeto orange.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh come on, like none of y'all have ever worked at Hooters!

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

the new cheeto orange is actually white cheddar (why in gods name would anyone want "organic" cheetos?)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I bought organic Heinz ketchup, but I haven't tried it yet.

Ally, is this the sister that you said likes Asian guys?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Pfff, organic cheetos rock, jess is all gay.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

you still got the orange shorts, luna?

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

CHRIS V DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DOG IN A BATHTUB IS???

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

No, Spencer, this is the sister who likes Asian guys. The one with the gitarre is the one who works in Hooters.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha I linked the wrong picture! My sister is not normally bearded.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

No, buttch because (a) I look terrible in orange, (b) come ON, they were ORANGE SHORTS, and (c) my old roommate took over my job when I quit, so I gave it to her.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan, your new restaurant definitely needs a Momus Dog.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

("it" being the uniform, not anything else)

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

(though come to think of it, she still owes me $200)

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally's family is purty.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Sean, I don't think they make buns small enough.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha! That beard reminds me of the SNL fake commercial for strap-on beards. Their main use: to show late people your displeasure.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

haha!

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

shuddup.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

there are a lot of strip clubs that serve food, y'know. Somehow, this does not appeal to me

The thing about the food at these places is that it's delicious and cheap. It's like the drinks in Vegas, only not completely free. They serve you huge t-bone steaks and shit for, like six bucks, freeing up your money for other things. They key is not to spend the money on other things.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Well for some reason, my sister James chose to dress up on Halloween or something like that as Sigmund Freud. Hence the beard.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

yes Yancey.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Well for some reason, my sister James chose to dress up on Halloween or something like that as Sigmund Freud. Hence the beard.

I might be in love with your sister.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

although it comes across more as Sigmund Lincoln.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the sort of thing she does. "Hey, what are you going to be for Halloween?" "Bertrand Russell." "Ok, great!"

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.fishin-harry.com/EJ/gallerytour/images/02-bathtubdog.gif

― Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

why the dog in the bath?

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan you cheapskate.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, my friend has the best answer to the question: "What are you going to be for Halloween?" ... "anything but me."

Actually a better answer is "a slice of pizza with an axe."

You can tell your sister she has a secret asian man admirer.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I've never actually done that. I could never resist the allure of paying another $7 for 8 ounces of gin and tonic at the very least. I haven't been to a strip club in years, though. I should go more often, maybe.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

The best answer to the Halloween question was shown on the defunct television show NewsRadio, where Bill MacNeil claimed he was going to come as "the man without socks".

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Terrifying.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://monkeydyne.com/rmcs/opencomic.phtml?rowid=33924

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

HA!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the title of that one Matos!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I always like Joe's answer from that episode: "My identical twin who is two inches taller than me".

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"The food is really good in that strip club" = "I read Playboy for the articles"?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, that was an excellent answer too. God, I miss that show. Do you remember the one where Bill and Dave discussed their addictions? That was my favorite..."Coffee and cigarettes are not equatible." "They are if you drink enough coffee." "Oh, Dave, Dave...how much coffee can you possibly drink?" "2, 3...pots." "A day?" "Yes." "That's just sick."

The best Bill MacNeil line, however, was about the holidays, about his father coming home drunk. "My mother would say, 'You out drinking your poisons again?' and my father would reply, 'NO! I'M SAVING THE POISON FOR YOU!' Ahhh...good times, my friends. Good times."

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I liked the highest setting on Bill's massage recliner: "Weekend in Thailand"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the title of that one Matos!

"Would you like fries with that?" was taken

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You know what else was a good episode? The one where he was trying to quit smoking by wearing like 40 Patches and got a heart attack. What song was used to revive him, it was Foghat wasn't it?

Damn, that show was like ILX in a sitcom format.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always been a fan of his brief career pitching malt liquor.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

SNAP that was a good episode too.

In fact, they are all good.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.twinbphotography.com/Photos/vickilewis.jpg

::sigh::

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I second that sigh, Kenan.

Gosh, reading these posts and feeling the enormous group-love buzz emanating from my computer screen... it kinda reminds me of the college friends I... NEVER HAD 'cuz I never actually went away to a cool school!

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

That says more about you than the college, though.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"That says more about you than the college, though" --

expand, please??

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, it's really not that hard to have college friends no matter where you go, don't you reckon?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

depends on where you go. I mostly attended night classes at my local suburban community college with middle-aged moms who were going back for their degrees or whatever. Not exactly a target demographic for the hallowed Drunken College Bash. Not after classes in the "sticks" at 11 o'clock at night, when we all have to get up for work the next morning, anyway. And that's even IF I hadn't been an extraordinarily shy youngster...

But, anyhow, I was *trying* to be humorous more than anything -- much more of a comment on the ILX "love-buzz".

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

T h a t s a y s m o r e a b o u t y o u t h a n t h e c o l l e g e, t h o u g h.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

skittles, did you go to JJC?

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

okay. point well taken from the in-house genuis(es). Do carry on.

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

genuis(es) = genius(es)

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, Spence -- that's why I said:

"And that's even IF I hadn't been an extraordinarily shy youngster..."

Got it? Now go back to drooling over Ally's sister, and save the character assessment for those you actually know something about.

Thanks.

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Out of curiosity, Skittles, why are you hanging around here if you're annoyed with it?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

ah, the eternal question

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

you mean, the internal question, right?

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

the intestine question

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo skittles, I wrote that in response to:

expand, please??

I was not referring to anything else. Now I go back to drooling over Ally's bearded sister.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

what is the point of Hooters? It seems to be sold on the basis that it's all a bit saucy, kind of like a lapdancing club with burgers, only it turns out that the women who work there aren't really wearing proper sex-industry clothes at all. so how is it actually different from many other chain restaurants?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the ostentatious flatulence is what really sets it aside.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

It actually sounds like it ought to be an english invention

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I reckon that's why I made my snipey comment, the whole snipiness about you not having friends versus the ILX love thing??? Whatever that means.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"Out of curiosity, Skittles, why are you hanging around here if you're annoyed with it? " --

actually, I wouldn't say I'm "annoyed" with it. I've been "hanging around" (for a total of a few days) probably for the same reasons as many others: Killing boredom at work, amusement while at work. Almost anything is interesting or fun enough when it's new. And there's nothing I've seen here, as of yet, that would cause me to take this as anything BUT fun. And, actually, I could think of several more pressing "internal questions" than that one.

Similarly, out of curiosity, Jess -- I could ask you the same, since you recently declared that ILX could eat your "fuc".

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"Well, I reckon that's why I made my snipey comment, the whole snipiness about you not having friends versus the ILX love thing??? Whatever that means. " --

yeah, see, that's what I get for trying to be clever or funny without having taken the proper lessons first...

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

"That says more about you than the college, though" --

expand, please??

get it? haha?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, Spencer, actually -- there's a huge red welt upon my forehead ("d'oh!") for not having gotten it initially... I guess I need to start thinking more literally...

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

cool!

Also, I think Jess likes it when his fuc is eaten...

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

FWIW, I didn't get Spencer's lil joke either, and I'd normally be the person MAKING the joke.

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

initially, it seemed to be the written equivalent of someone talking in a "hey, dumbass, I'm gonna speak real slow and real loud so you understand"-type tone!!

uh... oops...

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

My fault. I should've included a "(couldn't resist)" disclaimer since it wasn't going to appear directly beneath your post. I'm always making jokes several steps removed from the referent. It's something I need to work on. *tear*

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

and, Jess, my bringing up the "eat my fuc" thing wasn't intended in a "confrontational" manner or anything... it's just that your phrase has stuck with me... indeed *sniff* become a part of my very soul since yesterday... I don't think I've heard that phrase since I first read my old book of collected Lester Bangs pieces...

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

okay. point well taken from the in-house genuis(es). Do carry on.

-- absolute skittles (***********...), April 30th, 2003.

Actually, based on the below, either Ally and Spencer are not real geniuses since they are superbly talented at flirty-small talk, or maybe they are superubergeniueses since they aren't semi-ocio-paths when it comes to chit-chat. I've seen Spencer in akchun; I can only dream about Ally.

Scientists Wonder if Einstein, Newton Were Autistic
Reuters
Apr 30 2003 2:26PM
LONDON (Reuters) - Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton were geniuses but British scientists believe they may have suffered from Asperger syndrome -- a form of autism.

The condition, first described by Viennese physician Hans Asperger in 1944, is a disorder that causes deficiencies in social and communication skills and obsessive interests.

But it does not affect learning or intellect and many people with AS have exceptional talents or skills.

Although it is impossible to make a definitive diagnosis in people who are dead, Simon Baron-Cohen of Cambridge University and Ioan James of Oxford University studied the personalities of Einstein and Newton to see if the two scientists had symptoms of AS.

"Newton seems a classic case. He hardly spoke, was so engrossed in his work that he often forgot to eat, and was lukewarm or bad-tempered with the few friends he had," New Scientist magazine said on Wednesday.

Baron-Cohen said Einstein was also a loner and as a child he repeated sentences obsessively. Although Einstein made friends and spoke out on political issues, Baron-Cohen suspects he showed signs of Asperger syndrome.

"Passion, falling in love and standing up for justice are all perfectly compatible with Asperger syndrome," he told the weekly science magazine.

"What most people with AS find difficult is casual chatting -- they can't do small talk," he added.

But Glen Elliott, a psychiatrist at the University of California at San Francisco, said geniuses can be socially inept and impatient with other people without being autistic.

"Impatience with the intellectual slowness of others, narcissism and passion for one's mission in life might combine to make such an individual isolative and difficult," he told the magazine.

Baron-Cohen said he hopes the research can improve understanding of Asperger syndrome and make life easier for people who suffer from the condition.

04/30/03 14:23 ET

― Vic, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, but Vic... the matter's been resolved now, mate...

― absolute skittles, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

im happy about that. i just saw the word geniuses and felt compelled to post that since i didn't want to start a new thread. besides, this one is about hooters, so it's not intelligent enough to discern that it's being hijacked

― vic, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

hold on there a sec skittles. Vic, please do go on with your 'Spencer is a superubergenius' theory, I'm intrigued.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, wow! Someone actually took issue with something I said! That's awesome. The last time that happened some ugly lesbians got mad over the Le Tigre thing.

Anyway--Hooter's is ass for reasons unrelated to any YCI-ish tendencies I may or may not have. The hose is U+K here as is, like I wrote above, the crappy food and ugly waitresses. Replace the food with something edible and the make sure the eye candy isn't Circus Peanuts and we'll talk.

― adam (adam), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

haha well skittles called you a genius, and if these scientists are right (even though i think they're WRONG) that geniuses are potentially riddled with social problems or may be prone toweards autism, then you are either not a genius, or a superubergenius since you hide your autism so well, and party it up at places like el coyote (even though you didn't find me there!!!)

― Vic, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I went to Hooters exactly once when I was visiting Vancouver of all places and my server was exceptionally attractive and not horse-faced at all. But yeah, the food was ass.

(and yes Vic, I see the truth of it)

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

When I worked there, the food wasn't that bad, all the girls I worked with were fairly pretty, and the tips were pretty good. I don't think I could do it now, though.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

pretty girls in LA? getthefuckouttahere.

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

the real ones are all imported from san diego. real body parts, i mean.

― Vic, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Wasn't in LA, smartass.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

ARE there any hooters 'round here, or are they all in orange county? we should all FAP there. ideally it would be one in inglewood

― vic, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I was afraid of that. Where?

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

There's one in Santa Monica.

And in South Carolina, buttch.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I can only dream about Ally.

We all do, Vic. (In case this creeps her out, I have surprisingly not had any sex dreams about ILXers. I'm working on it, obviously.)Actually I dreamed of someone else last night, sexually. No one you know, and for once it was someone I actually do find very sexy - I sometimes have sex dreams about those I don't.

As for the article, the line "Although it is impossible to make a definitive diagnosis in people who are dead" is a masterpiece. It is among the more idiotic articles I've ever read.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

are they all in orange county?

WELL. (You are however right they're all around here. The idea of FAPing there is so utterly wrong I will smite you if you suggest it again.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

It is among the more idiotic articles I've ever read.

yeah it's just so absurd, that it didn't warrant its own thread; only the hooters thread would do.

You are however right they're all around here. The idea of FAPing there is so utterly wrong I will smite you if you suggest it again.

stop yo frontin' foo! we all kno u and da other laschivious librarians hold theme parties there with da hooters t-shirts, ballcaps, apparel AND ALL

― vic, Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i hang around ilx cuz it's my rumplestiltskin

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

you're Jewish?

― buttch (Oops), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

hey. i've been safarian since before you were born

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Vic, you are sadly misguided.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally I don't know what this means, but my (male) roomate is a cook at Hooters...
-- jm (jimmythemo...), April 30th, 2003.

Am I the only one who read it as 'cock'?

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably not, but the others were mature/sivilized enough to ignore their Id.

― jm (jtm), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the collective Id of ILx has gone haywire since that Momusianudistined pic provoked a sexual catharsis in us all.

― Vic (Vic), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

These are my sisters like two days ago. The one who works at Hooters is the one in black. So if you see her there, tell her you know me and, hey, free chicken wings.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)

free chicken wings!

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 19 June 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally has your family been made into a Japanese cartoon yet?

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 19 June 2003 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

What does that even mean? Anyway, I'm sure K. has made us into anime-style drawings on more than one occasion, being as it's an obsession of hers.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

About the Hooters wait staff uniforms: It could be worse. Stewart's root beer stand wait staff have to wear tight T-shirts with two root beer mugs silk screened onto them-one over each breast. Eeuu.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Thursday, 19 June 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Oddly enough Chistine, that is the same outfit they're making the software engineers wear at my company.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 19 June 2003 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Please, Ally, someday, introduce me to your sisters. Thanks, in advance.

― hstencil, Thursday, 19 June 2003 05:14 (twenty-two years ago)

you cad!

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 19 June 2003 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, I know, shocker!

― hstencil, Thursday, 19 June 2003 05:21 (twenty-two years ago)

But stence, they are not real people. They are Japanese cartoon robot women.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

boing

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 19 June 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

http://members.aol.com/dvool/graphics/pict0001.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Is she the one who likes asians?

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 19 June 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

The one in the red shirt dates Asians. I'm not setting any of you up with my little sisters!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Why not?

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 19 June 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that a rhetorical question?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought it was a good response...

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 19 June 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Sanp!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Or, uh, snap.

Never mind, I ruined the whole conversation with one typo. My replicant Japanese robot anime programming is obviously faulty :( :(

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

No, really. Why not?

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 19 June 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

You're all in America, right? Bugger.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 June 2003 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Does grown-up Hermione-from-Harry-Potter work at Hooter's? I have GOT to see that.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 19 June 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Woman, answer the question.

I have to go shower.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 19 June 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that post just answered the question, Jimmy.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were to answer in non-sequiturs, sure...

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 19 June 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Alright, fine, I'll introduce you to my sisters if you pay me $40.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

How much for just the tall one?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 19 June 2003 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

$15.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

So all three means a discount rate?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 June 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Well the tall one is a premium item. She works in Hooters, for a kick-off.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 19 June 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I cost less than the rest of them due to my inability to divide $40 evenly into 3 pieces.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I went to Hooters when I was two.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 19 June 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Your parents should be ashamed.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe he meant "I went to hooters when I was two." Though I guess two is a little old to still be breastfeeding.

― NA. (Nick A.), Thursday, 19 June 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

haha America

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 June 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

ALLY-CHAN!!!

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 19 June 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm amusing myself just sitting here trying to say "sanp" and not "samp." It's totally like Mensa hard.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 19 June 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

my mensa is also hard

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 19 June 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

You have pretty sisters, Ally. How old is everyone? (I've got two younger - one is 23 and the other turns 21 next month).

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Thursday, 19 June 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank you, Sarah. They're all younger than me. M. is 19, the other two are 17.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 19 June 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I meet your sisters, Sarah?

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, congrats to your sis on getting her new job! Ain't any shame in wearing the Hooters logo across her chest; their money is still leprochaun green. She can still laugh all the way to the bank.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I did that once, and they wouldn't let me into the bank.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Prolly cause your bazooka wasn't large enough, Tep.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

My bazooka is plenty damn big (and its name is Joe).

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you had a conversation with it lately, Tep?

(ahem. sorry, Ally;>)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Tep's arguments with said entity are usually one-sided and end in tears, I fear.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Those aren't tears.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

That's enough.

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

if this gets posted to the 'laugh out loud' thread I'm going to throw up blood

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone do it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 19 June 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not blood!

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 19 June 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally:
You don't want to earn your living as an objectified body, do you? You have dreams and aspirations and a very good head on your shoulder, as far as I can tell, and the path you're taking is far preferable to that of a Vapid Face (even if it is faked for job purposes).

I always think there's something quite odd when I return from dropping Dad off at dialysis and pass a Hooters restaurant. It's just so visible and not quite right and everything. Maybe I'm just a big puritain or an overzealous feminist or something, but I feel there's just something wrong there. And yes, Dennis Miller was right in his statement that if you're going to support women and their right to choose their own path, you must be willing to support the Shannon Tweeds right along with the Shannon Lucids, but that's just something I haven't been able to work on yet.

Heh. Miss Parochial-Minded, reporting for duty.

― Innocent Dreamer (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 19 June 2003 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

it's Ally's sister that works at Hooters, and I'm pretty sure it's not a long term career

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 19 June 2003 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I know. I was referring to the first statement, i.e. Ally's semi-playful jealousy that made it seem as though she wanted to. And my mental close-mindedness currently does not discriminate between full-time careerists and part-time temps in this situation.

It's a personal flaw, yes. I am trying to work on it. :)

― Innocent Dreamer (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 19 June 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

wait a minute Dee wasn't that you on the vegetarianism thread telling people to get off their high horse and stop telling other folks how to live?

(NB this is a friendly poke in the ribs is all, I do note that you've already qualified yr statement)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 19 June 2003 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

So my sister doesn't work at Hooters now. She took a new job.

At Frederick's of Hollywood.

For serious I'm not making this up. This girl wanted to be a nun for like the first 12 years of her life.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeez Ally, your sister sounds much cooler than you.

― jm (jtm), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Out of all of the women I've known, out of all the women I've discussed religion with, out of all the women I've discussed sex with -- and I started as a sexuality major, and ended up as a religion major -- every single one of them who wanted to be a nun ended up being into bdsm, and every single one of them who's into bdsm wanted to be a nun when she was younger (and that includes the non-Catholics).

"I wanna be a nun!" is the new "I like horses, they make me tingle!"

So now parents and parents-to-be know what to look for.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Her jobs are totally better. You're still not getting introduced to her, Jimmy.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I have bad Frederick's of Hollywood memories. Being dragged their by two platonic friends, where they try to talk me into buying them lingerie (I was making entirely too much money at the time, they were broke).

I'm sure I looked like the biggest creep in the world.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

This girl wanted to be a nun for like the first 12 years of her life.

Did she go to Catholic School, too? Wouldn't be surprised if she did. Somehow, half of my class actually wanted to enter the nunnery; the other half....ended up like me;>

If she's working for Frederick's, at least, she can get a discount on the underwear.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, you and your sisters are pretty beyond belief, looks like ive found my new wallpaper!

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, no, Nick. We're not Catholic. It's kind of like that scene in Mermaids.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, no, Nick. We're not Catholic. It's kind of like that scene in Mermaids.

Which scene? Or do you mean "being joined in tears and joyful dysfunction?" (meaning no disrespect, of course?)

[Aside: how did your Final go?]

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

It's tonight, I can only take night classes because of work...

The scene is the one where Winona Ryder is praying and all dressed up in psuedo-nun gear and then Cher pops in and goes, "Charlotte. We're Jewish." That was me and my sister.

Except that puts me in the odd position of being Cher.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Except that puts me in the odd position of being Cher.

Somehow, I can't see you being the model for plastic surgery....though on the plus side, you too can run in the rock and roll lifestyle.

[BTW: As I said, you'll do great tonight!]

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Also this means that you have/get (delete as applicable) to wear that outfit from the "If I Could Turn Back Time" video.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, I already bought that for the July 4th FAP, get with the program!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

he said "delete as appropriate", Columbia

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

what I'm waiting for is the Fredericks of Hollywood air conditioner to catch fire

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Millar, that reply makes absolutely no sense. Turn off Lupin for fuck's sake.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Thpppt

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Is there a TV show more ludicrous than Lupin? (ans: Inuyasha)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

LUPIN IS THE SECOND BEST TV SHOW EVER BESIDES SEALAB!!! But Sealab is better. "Uh oh!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA still slays me. Where is the disco bear??

I swear to god, the only thing I watch now is cartoons.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I swear that disco bear Uh Oh episode is the finest moment in TV history

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I swear to god, the only thing I watch now is cartoons.

Thought I was the only one.....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Saying that was the finest moment in TV history is selling it short; surely "Quinn's Vacation" is the greatest thing that's ever been created in any art form, ever. "Oh, he's with a hooker." "Uh oh!" *cue Disco Bear and Russians* "Da." "Da." "Da." "Da." "NYET!!!!"

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

b-b-but "Wot!" by Captain Sensible!!!

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Quincy M.E. Classic or uber-classic that shits all over everything except maybe 24.

nope, yr forgetting quincy! these other shows are just pretenders.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

No we're not, honestly.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Adult Swim owns, doesn't it? Hell, the only channels I gleefully watch these days are Cartoon Network, Fox and BBC America.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, that covers pretty much everything you'd ever need, actually. Except for "Behind the Music that Sucks" which I find oddly compelling.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan is way OTM, though I'd incl. TCM in there, too.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I get sucked into this Bravo vortex in which I watch Good Will Hunting 5 times in a row, I don't even really like that movie.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Ooh, I forgot VH-1 Soul and VH-1 Classic.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

VH1 Classic plays "This Corrosion" more than Andrew Eldrich himself probably does, what is that about?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

hey now hey now now, he's with a hooker uh oh.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Videos I've seen multiple times on VH-1 Classic that I've never seen anywhere else:

Fishbone - "Party At Ground Zero"
Front 242 - "Tragedy (For You)"
A Flock Of Seagulls - "Nightmares"
a Killing Joke video, can't remember which one

VH-1 Soul is also classic for this as they are obsessed with early Boyz II Men/New Edition/Jade/Something For The People/Troop/Jodeci/[insert New Jack Swing artist here]

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I seen Killing Joke on VH1 classic too, I think they have a special hour programmed by Alex in NYC actually.

UH OH!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

VH1 Classic is the reason for digital cable, there are no others

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Her jobs are totally better. You're still not getting introduced to her, Jimmy.

: (

― jm (jtm), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i went to hooters in santa monica with 7 testosterone overloaded australian bruces.

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

At least two of the words in that sentence are unnecessary duplication.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 08:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Gareth, that sounds like the opening to a corny joke. How come you have all the fun?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

VH1 Classic = Freur, enough said.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Remember the girl on Tough Enough that was all "I love Jesus and want to bring glory to him through professional wrestling"? After she left the show, I met her working at Hooters in Roanoke, VA.

― Stuart (Stuart), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"I love Jesus and want to bring glory to him through serving chicken wings to horny men while wearing booty shorts and a tight tight top."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, I was born in Roanoke, VA...

Ally, Fredericks of Hollywood sounds like a big improvement cuz they're all classy. Out of curiousity, would she have to model underwear if asked? I always wondered this about Victoria's Secret.

Sure, jm, you can meet my sisters. They're both close to 6' tall, live in Virginia, and have the last name Johnson. Good luck!

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"I love Jesus and want to bring glory to him through serving chicken wings to horny men while wearing booty shorts and a tight tight top."

Haven't breasts always made men find God?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Most men I know (both gay and straight) are fascinated with breasts.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

And why is that? A good section of you act like breasts are the second coming...

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm only just beginning to be fascinated w/them actually, and I'm 28. better late than never, I suppose

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

which of the 1000 answers would you like us to start w/Nichole?

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I was about to say "because they're at eye-level" but thought people might miss the joke and think I was even shorter than I actually am.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan after an unsuccessful pass:

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc400/c491/c49130q5dym.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

which of the 1000 answers would you like us to start w/Nichole?

How about #95? That way, we can skip the repetitive answers.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

# 95. we can't eat them, but we can put them in our mouths, which is almost as good

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my god I can't believe I actually posted that. forgive me, everyone

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm too busy laughing my ass off to forgive you.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too. That's what I get for hanging around men, all the time.

Matos, with that line, you've just become the hero of (most of) the Male ILX contingent.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Indeed.

I get frustrated when I hear my female friends talk about how they wish they had bigger breasts (though I suspect this is occasionally a fishing for compliments thing, but I'm not going to insert "no, you've got great breasts, really" in a normal conversation). DON'T listen to the media and ignore the frat boys. 95% of men are not obsessed with "large" breasts.

Okay, maybe 50%.

25%?

But we do exist, honest!

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 26 June 2003 04:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not obsessed w/them at all, like I mentioned above! I just know a lot of real good reasons that one might be

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 26 June 2003 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

A good section of you act like breasts are the second coming...

In my experience, there is often a connection.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 26 June 2003 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

In my experience, there is often a connection.

Well sure, but your drooling occurs well before milk can squirt out of them.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 26 June 2003 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure he was talking about milk.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Thursday, 26 June 2003 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, I know what he meant, hence my post.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 26 June 2003 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not obsessed w/them at all, like I mentioned above! I just know a lot of real good reasons that one might be

My reference was not to breasts-in-general, but large breasts.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 26 June 2003 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally, Fredericks of Hollywood sounds like a big improvement cuz they're all classy.

"Fredericks of Hollywood" and "classy" in the same sentence? Does. Not. Compute. (brain blows out; smoke vents from ears)

As for men and large breasts, my experience is that outside of the frat house the 5/50/75% of men who are obsessed with them appear to keep quiet about that, unless they happen to be paranoid schizophrenic homeless guys.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 27 June 2003 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha you haven't been in my band

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 27 June 2003 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

J.Lu, is Frederick's not classier than Hooters?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 27 June 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Nothing is classier than Hooters.

― NA. (Nick A.), Friday, 27 June 2003 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

it's like failed-cheerleader sleaze vs. failed call-girl sleaze. two flavors, seperate and distinct, like kids you can't really pick your favorite.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 27 June 2003 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

You know, they've got silky things at Fredericks and surely that's classier than shorts?

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 27 June 2003 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno, aren't Hooters shorts sorta fake-satiny?

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Would Hooter's be better or worse if the waitstaff's uniforms were edible?

Also, did we have the conversation about opening a competing restaurant chain called Johnsons?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

a.k.a. "and can we eat them?"

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

There was a male-version of Hooters (I think it was with a rooster-motif, maybe not) in College Station a few years back.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha "Cocks"!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

[adopts baritone]: "Hi, welcome to Nads. May I seat you?"

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 27 June 2003 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, a restaurant with only beanbag chairs!

― nickn (nickn), Saturday, 28 June 2003 04:23 (twenty-one years ago)

but what's this fuzzy stuff poking out from under the surface...EWWWW!!!

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 28 June 2003 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Would you like the special sauce with that?

― nickn (nickn), Saturday, 28 June 2003 04:32 (twenty-one years ago)

you want seconds? well, it'll take about ten minutes minutes just to get it ready....

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 28 June 2003 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

(yes, not just seconds minutes but minutes minutes, thank you all goodnight)

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 28 June 2003 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

God, I hope my little sister never reads this thread.

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 28 June 2003 23:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, did we have the conversation about opening a competing restaurant chain called Johnsons?

The Howard Johnsons people would be all over you for trademark infringement. I previously mentioned my "Buns" concept, which could be gender-neutral (as long as you look good in a half shirt and bike shorts...)

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 29 June 2003 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Johnsons are everywhere. Nobody owns them.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

Ally, Fredericks of Hollywood sounds like a big improvement cuz they're all classy. Out of curiousity, would she have to model underwear if asked? I always wondered this about Victoria's Secret.

I found out today that the answer to this question is apparently "YES!" What in the world?

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

She should have a tip jar. And her amazon wishlist hanging on the dressing room door.

― Carey (Carey), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

she should have a tip jar strapped to her thigh.

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

that sounded 10x worse than intended.

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I found out today that the answer to this question is apparently "YES!" What in the world?

Since Frederick's uses mannequins, why would you ask the assistants to model? Wouldn't that equal sexual harassment?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a hollow leg. But I never thought to put money in it.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Hollow leg = best place to hide liquor, jewelry, etc

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

RUM!

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently they are meant to wear the underwear under their clothes so that if a customer wants to see things in action, they can. ??? Why can't the customer just put on the clothes themselves? Weird. Whatever, Im all for it.

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, so I can walk into Frederick's and get a free show? Best news all day. ;)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

How do these places get away with not hiring men, while getting around the million discrimination suits that would come from horny fratboys and "men's rights" orgs?

Have there been no men shameless enough to argue their right to sell lingerie in court?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

They DO hire men. I've seen a lot of guys working in the Victoria's Secret not two blocks from my house, for example.

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

!!!!

Do they have to model the underwear, too? I will be haunted by a burly man in a teddy for weeks (and that burly man is Ned Raggett).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't want to know the answer to that question because it just put a horrible horrible image suggested to me this weekend in my head. It involves lace teddies, an air force boy, the Count from Sesame Street, The Blob theme song, and Donnie Osmond. Oh my god.

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

(before someone asks, no, not Millar, jackasses)

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Who asked?

Do they have to model the underwear, too? I will be haunted by a burly man in a teddy for weeks (and that burly man is Ned
Raggett).

You assume Ned can do a proper twirling motion, Dan? (However, just for that image, I'm sending you a massive box of gooey chocolates and garter belts.)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

How come HE is the one who gets the reward?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Let's see you work it, Raggett, and we'll talk.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

http://users.powernet.co.uk/wingett/images/fw-026.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, stop stealing my stillettos! (Plus, you need to smudge the mascara for that true vixen-vamp look)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll give you the $3.29 I have in my wallet if you erase that picture from my brain.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think that's Ned. Ned's hair has more body, and his body has more hair.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

How come HE is the one who gets the reward?

Cause you have to EARN your reward before I give it to you....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

whoever it is has quite the fivehead going

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think that's Ned. Ned's hair has more body, and his body has more hair.

Blonde male vamps have been done, Chris, hence the wig. Tis also a wonder how smoothly he can use a razor.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned's hair has more body, and his body has more hair.

You take back that last part! *eyes shoulder stubble nervously*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 2 September 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, can you wear that outfit to the next FAP? Please?

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Friday, 5 September 2003 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

At least, any FAP that I'm at?

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Friday, 5 September 2003 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

So anyway I'm gonna go get a job at Hooters in January.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Beats office work. Probably less sexual harrassment, too.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Skip Hooters and go straight for stripping. Same concept, mo' money.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not really against that per se.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm disappointed that the Punani menu above didn't feature any bukkake-related items.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: Hooters versus some kind of bukkake-related establishment. Momus to thread??

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Liz Phair can do the jingle.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:40 (twenty-one years ago)

(er... 'commercial jingle' that is)

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That head shaking thing they do after you take a shot is kind of fun.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm praying that's a liquor reference.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 04:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Do the patrons sauce their own burgers?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 05:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope you all get genital warts for ruining my nice thread.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

well, if someone got off their lazy hiney & sold their sister, someone wouldn't have to work at hooters, now, would they?

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

haha "my nice thread"

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 06:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, OK, seriously - of the half-dozen current/former Hooters waitresses I've known, none of them had a good thing to say about the job.

The food is cheap, the men tend to be scum (see this thread for examples) and thus the tips are crap. If I was going to put up with creepy guys ogling me for eight hours at a time, I had better be making good money (though I'd probably get by on the flattery itself for awhile).

("Hooters - For Pretty Bukkake!")

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 06:45 (twenty-one years ago)

http://monkeydyne.com/rmcs/opencomic.phtml?rowid=42331

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 06:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been reading this thread for like 15 minutes, and now it was ALL WORTH IT, Matos!

― Hunter (Hunter), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 07:37 (twenty-one years ago)

yay! I win!

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 07:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I find it uber creepy that Matos keeps depicting me as the little girl.

(that's a good thing)

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

She's the ONLY girl though! Would you rather be Milkman Dan?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Kind of, yeah. Or the one that looks like Edgar Allan Poe! He should work at Hooters, for real.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

They should open a Hooters that hires skinny men with mantitties and call it Manhooters.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

If I was taller and in better shape, I would totally try to be an exotic dancer.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

what nickalicious sez--it's the only female character there, yo!

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Beats office work.

Beats off is work?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

They should open a Hooters that hires skinny men with mantitties and call it Manhooters.

Dooders, maybe?

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Only if Dooders has a corporate partner named Cooters.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

well, there's already a long-standing Seattle hamburger establishment called Dick's, so that one's out... {haha, get it, OUT?! I kill me! < /Alf>}

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

nine months pass...

OMG now she's going on dates with a guy who is only called "J0e the Italian" who is 20 and owns his own house, wtf?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 23 September 2004 16:09 (twenty years ago)

!!!

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 23 September 2004 16:14 (twenty years ago)

Is it cutty?

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 23 September 2004 16:14 (twenty years ago)

I hope so.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 23 September 2004 16:15 (twenty years ago)

four weeks pass...

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20041022/capt.sha10610221701.china_hooters_sha106.jpg
http://www.thebostonchannel.com/food/3841747/detail.html

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:05 (twenty years ago)

"Hooters"

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:08 (twenty years ago)

haha

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:08 (twenty years ago)

they should call that place "big asses"

― experimental grandma (deangulberry), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:09 (twenty years ago)

"Boomers"?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:19 (twenty years ago)

http://www.a-1signs.com/CRACKER-BARREL.jpg

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:22 (twenty years ago)

What came first? The restaurant or the euphemism?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:30 (twenty years ago)

for tits? the euphemism

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:31 (twenty years ago)

There's a restaurant called Tits?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:32 (twenty years ago)

i've never been to Hooters, but i see some of the waitresses on the train sometimes, and they are always flat as a board. what gives?

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:33 (twenty years ago)

where are wings in that photo?

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:34 (twenty years ago)

I think the cut of the shorts is such that in order to look at all presentable and not too-explicit in them (remember, they're handling food), you have to be pretty damn slim and athletic. Thus somewhat lowering the busty-pool.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:36 (twenty years ago)

no offense to flat chested land dwelling females

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:37 (twenty years ago)

Didn't the Sultan of Brunei's son Jefri have a yacht called 'tits'?

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:39 (twenty years ago)

yes he did! he auctioned off a lot of his belongings including "tits" and several gold toilet roll holders and stuff like that. GREAT story.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:47 (twenty years ago)

You have not been to the Hollywood Hooters then.

― experimental grandma (deangulberry), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:48 (twenty years ago)

As previously reported, Prince Jefri -- brother of the sultan of Brunei, an oil-rich country on the northern coast of Borneo -- has had his allowance cut by the sultan to only $300,000 a month, a punishment because Jefri had been wasting so much of the family's money. Jefri allegedly blew $15 billion in his role as the country's finance minister. Now, Jefri's vast collection of consumer goods -- some 10,000 items, including hundreds of cars, 17 airplanes and several yachts -- has been sold at auction for a total of merely $7.8 million. Among the items to go were Jefri's favored yacht, which he had named "Tits," with its twin dinghies named "Nipple 1" and "Nipple 2." Until two years ago, the sultan was the world's richest man, but his fortune is believed to have shrunk to about $10 billion.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:49 (twenty years ago)

Thank goodness that wealth is not exclusively confined to those without a sense of humour.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:50 (twenty years ago)

only $300,000 a month! poor guy!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:50 (twenty years ago)

haha but this story is funnier if he picked that name for non-funny reasons!

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:51 (twenty years ago)

I don't know how funny he meant it to be. Guy sounds like an asshole.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:51 (twenty years ago)

I came to bury Prince Jefri, not to praise him!

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:52 (twenty years ago)

Nipple 1 and Nipple 2! I thought the "Tits" part was stupid, but that totally redeems it. (I so want to party with this dude.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:52 (twenty years ago)

How do 17 airplanes etc add up to only $7.8 million?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:52 (twenty years ago)

gear wins everything ever

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:53 (twenty years ago)

x-post They don't, obv. Sold at auction for rock-bottom prices.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:53 (twenty years ago)

we shd have got one for ilx!

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:55 (twenty years ago)

Anyone care to guess what he called the planes?...

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:58 (twenty years ago)

Fallopian Tube 1 through 17

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:59 (twenty years ago)

mulva

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:59 (twenty years ago)

Ejaculates 1-17?

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:59 (twenty years ago)

nipples 3-19

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:59 (twenty years ago)

cockrocket9000, cockrocket9001

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:00 (twenty years ago)

he was in earnest ppl!

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:00 (twenty years ago)

"Nipples 3:19" sounds like a lost Bible chapter:verse.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:01 (twenty years ago)

x-post They don't, obv. Sold at auction for rock-bottom prices.

Still that seems exceedingly low. I mean a rock-bottom Cessna is what, $100K? And somehow I'd guess that they're nicer.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:01 (twenty years ago)

Imagine standing in the marina and wtahcing "Tits" sail proudly into port, the prince reclining on the deck, lazily picking his bellybutton fluff with a custom made diamond instrument.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:02 (twenty years ago)

People were bringing boobies
to Jesus to have him touch them,
but the disciples rebuked them.
When Jesus saw this,
he was indignant.
He said to them,
"Let the little nipples come to me,
and do not hinder them,
for the kingdom of Breasteses
belongs to such as these.
I tell you the truth,
anyone who will not receive
the nipples of the hooters
like a little child
will never come on them."

And he took the nipples
in his hands, put his lips on them
and blessed them.

Titties 10:13-16

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:04 (twenty years ago)

RIP Biggie, you were the best

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:05 (twenty years ago)

Luna, I kiss you.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:06 (twenty years ago)

This is totally weird but I don't think I'm in the proper emotional state to keep reading about breasts. It's making me really antsy.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Oh god and now Luna and Je4nne are making out.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:06 (twenty years ago)

woo hoo!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:08 (twenty years ago)

I would refer you to the horny commiseration thread, but it just makes things worse.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Don't mind me, everyone, keep going.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 22 October 2004 20:10 (twenty years ago)

Well in case any of you were actually interested in my sister's goings on.

http://www.columbia.edu/~alk2102/images/shera.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Sunday, 24 October 2004 03:07 (twenty years ago)

Aoogah!

http://www.aperfectworld.org/clipart/cartoons/cartoon05.gif

― the apex of nadirs (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 24 October 2004 03:27 (twenty years ago)

What the...?

A Wonder Woman Valkyrie.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 24 October 2004 03:34 (twenty years ago)

check the filename, my dear sir, and all will be revealed

altho, you may be closer than you think

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:15 (twenty years ago)

Shera? Is she some Indian dude?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Sunday, 24 October 2004 08:43 (twenty years ago)

http://www.vegalleries.com/filmationopc/49he3.jpg

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Sunday, 24 October 2004 08:46 (twenty years ago)

my best friend from jr high and highschool's name is Shera (share-uh), but i think it's some egyptian goddess. her dad was really into that stuff. her older sister's name is merit (also a godess name?)

― JaXoN (JasonD), Sunday, 24 October 2004 10:51 (twenty years ago)

My friend works at Hooters as a cook. His brother used to be the manager.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 24 October 2004 10:54 (twenty years ago)

She-Ra, Princess of Power, He-Man's twin sister, you dorks from hell.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 24 October 2004 14:39 (twenty years ago)

I thought they were cousins.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 24 October 2004 14:40 (twenty years ago)

No, they were twins. There was one comic called Twins of Power.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 24 October 2004 14:43 (twenty years ago)

I heard, that they are making a new he-man movie, last night.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 24 October 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago)

Yes, that's what my sister was doing, last night. She was taking part, in the filming, of the new He-Man epic, as his sister.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Sunday, 24 October 2004 17:14 (twenty years ago)

http://img54.photobucket.com/albums/v164/GAYZ0RD/He-Man3.gif

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Sunday, 24 October 2004 17:41 (twenty years ago)

that looks like a party, that I went to, once.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 24 October 2004 17:46 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

Last night, she got set up on a date with Drew Henson by her friend, who only has one nipple after a mysterious elementary school girlfight resulted in it being bitten off. She continued the long standing family tradition of blowing off professional athletes though, so sadly the story ends here.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 01:26 (twenty years ago)

A Christmas story to warm the heart.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 01:34 (twenty years ago)

Who only has one nipple, the friend or this Drew Hanson character?

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 01:38 (twenty years ago)

The friend. I'm sorry, that was kind of confusing.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 01:40 (twenty years ago)

oh, blowing OFF

― I'm serious ... Ti-i-i-i-im (deangulberry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago)

She didn't want to date someone who can't hit the curveball?

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 02:22 (twenty years ago)

ahem - 'blowing off' means the same thing as 'blowing' in Australia, except that it has a slightly more casual air about it, like you do it in an offhand way.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 02:26 (twenty years ago)

Well good thing I don't live in Australia then.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 02:34 (twenty years ago)

Oh no, my girlfriend is in Australia RIGHT NOW!

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 02:40 (twenty years ago)

well not to worry jordan, i live in australia and i never get to have sex (unfortunately seeing as i'm single), it's not like we're all running around handing out blowjobs left right and centre

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 02:50 (twenty years ago)

An offhand, casual blowjob is somewhat difficult to conceive of.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 02:57 (twenty years ago)

It's harder for a man to conceive of than a woman.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:01 (twenty years ago)

depends on what context you are using the word 'blowjob' i guess, for some reason i think of blowjobs as much more casual than intercourse, i dunno why

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:03 (twenty years ago)

obviously i mean the word 'casual' NOT the word 'blowjob' that really only has one context in this respect

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:04 (twenty years ago)

someone needs to open a red-state chain called Packages. y'know, flight suits and stuff. paging Ken Mehlman.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:07 (twenty years ago)

Where do you live Gem? Because these Perthites seem to be pretty poly with their amorousness!

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:13 (twenty years ago)

:( interestingly, in perth! but lately it seems as though the only people that fancy me are people i don't fancy though, very disappointing. i blame law school.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:16 (twenty years ago)

Yes indeed. I can hook you up with some hot young gothlings if you want (one of them is actually dating an older woman who is a lawyer).

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:19 (twenty years ago)

i'll keep it in mind jordan thanks! also i like the way the gothling's lady friend is an older woman first, and a lawyer second!

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:23 (twenty years ago)

Older women are hottter than lawyers, generally speaking!

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 03:28 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

My sister has finally got herself a new kind-of boyfriend. He has a job. As a part-time rodeo clown.

― Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

Does he not have the dedication to be a full-time rodeo clown?

― Zebra, Alpha Go! (cprek), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

Yr sister is the kind of girl I like, Ally -- slightly off her shit.

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

If he can't commit to being a rodeo clown what can he commit to?

― Zebra, Alpha Go! (cprek), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes I feel like I'm living the life of a part-time rodeo clown, but with the world being my rodeo and everyone in it as the bucking broncos.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

There are some halfway decent Smog lyrics in there somewhere.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

Photos, plz.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

http://www.northdakotawintershow.com/WShow%20pics/rodeo%20clown%20crash%20cooper.jpg

― Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

Who Are These Clowns?

They put themselves in the line of danger every time they go to work. With names like Shane, Flint, Cody, Scooter, and Tex, they evoke the nostalgia of the old west. If you're lucky, you might get to see them do the Ostrich Jockey, or Devil in My Barrel, or maybe Crazy Ambulance. They wear painted-on smiles and baggy britches. And they actually like it when people laugh at them, even as they risk their lives to protect others.

Who are these clowns?

The double life of rodeo's unsung heroes
It may look like fun and games to the people in the stands, but this is serious business, and not just any clown can do it. Between rides, the barrelman's job is to keep the crowd amused by bantering with the announcers and performing comedic skits that can include props, explosions, fireworks, clown cars, and sometimes lucky members of the audience. This part requires charisma, creativity, comic timing, and boundless energy.

But the real work - cowboy protection - begins the minute a bullrider enters the ring, hanging on for dear life. And this part requires nerves of steel, lightning reflexes, and a selfless devotion to someone else's well-being. It falls to the rodeo clown to distract the angry bull from its toppled rider so the cowboy can get to his feet and make it to the safety of a fence.

Into the barrel

Nowadays rodeo clowns have a little more technology in their corner, by way of an invention some years back by a bullfighter named Jasbo. The "clown lounge," as some call it, is made of heavy-gauge steel, weighs 175 pounds, and is lined with industrial foam rubber.

But just because a barrel protects the man inside doesn't mean it's invincible. Remember, these are 3,000- and 4,000-pound bulls. With horns. "I spend anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour after every show pounding out the dents with a five-pound mallet," says Scooter Culbertson, a Texas-based barrelman who's been involved with the rodeo since he was 16 years old.

"Its not whether you're gonna get hurt, it's when and how bad"
The job can be brutal, says Scooter. "And there's not an insurance company in the world that'll touch you." He should know: he's suffered 24 broken bones, three concussions, a dislocated jaw, and worse. One bull, after knocking him down, proceeded to "camp out" on top of him. It took a while to get him off, and when the dedicated performer tried to continue the show, somebody told him he was hurt. "I'm ok," he said, turning toward the arena. "No, no, man," the guy shouted. "Here's your ear!" He didn't get back into the ring that day.

Scooter sums it up this way. "It's a great feeling when the crowd applauds and appreciates your efforts. But the greatest is when the cowboys come to you and let you know how much they appreciate you being there for them night after night."

Rodeo clowns make perhaps $100 to $225 for a show, usually setting their own price based on travel expenses. The real money is at the national freestyle bullfighting competitions.

Rodeo clowns - who prefer to be called bullfighters - apprentice at local, small rodeos and at youth rodeo events. They may attend clown training schools, which hold training camps across the southwest and in Colorado, Montana, and Kansas - big rodeo states. Or they may start out as cowboys first, and become bullfighters later.

Coors sponsors a Man in the Can Award, a great honor to have on your clown resume. In addition, many rodeo clowns belong to the Professional Rodeo Cowboys' Association.

So if you yearn for the adrenaline rush of danger mixed with the roaring laughter of a crowd - and you don't mind getting knocked around a bit - paint your face, pick a nickname, get yourself some baggy pants...and dream on!

- Lauren Sheppard, Salary.com Contributor

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 11 May 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

Who Are These Clowns?

Who are these clowns?

Into the barrel

"Its not whether you're gonna get hurt, it's when and how bad"

The job can be brutal, says Scooter. "And there's not an insurance company in the world that'll touch you." He should know: he's suffered 24 broken bones, three concussions, a dislocated jaw, and worse. One bull, after knocking him down, proceeded to "camp out" on top of him. It took a while to get him off, and when the dedicated performer tried to continue the show, somebody told him he was hurt. "I'm ok," he said, turning toward the arena. "No, no, man," the guy shouted. "Here's your ear!" He didn't get back into the ring that day.

Rodeo clowns make perhaps $100 to $225 for a show, usually setting their own price based on travel expenses. The real money is at the national freestyle bullfighting competitions.

Coors sponsors a Man in the Can Award, a great honor to have on your clown resume. In addition, many rodeo clowns belong to the Professional Rodeo Cowboys' Association.

- Lauren Sheppard, Salary.com Contributor

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 11 May 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Nowadays rodeo clowns have a little more technology in their corner, by way of an invention some years back by a bullfighter named Jasbo.

Okay, where did the "name Teeny's baby!" thread go?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

His eyes are cold and restless
His wounds have almost healed
And she'd give half of Texas
Just to change the way he feels
She knows his love's in Tulsa
And she knows he's gonna go
Well it ain't no woman flesh and blood
It's that damned old rodeo

She does her best to hold him
When his love comes to call
But his need for it controls him
And her back's against the wall
And it's So long girl I'll see you
When it's time for him to go
You know the woman wants her cowboy
Like he wants his rodeo

Well it's bulls and blood
It's dust and mud
It's the roar of a Sunday crowd
It's the white in his knuckles
The gold in the buckle
He'll win the next go 'round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's spurs and latigo
It's the ropes and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing rodeo
It'll drive a cowboy crazy
It'll drive the man insane
And he'll sell off everything he owns
Just to pay to play her game
And a broken home and some broken bones
Is all he'll have to show
For all the years that he spent chasin'
This dream they call rodeo

It's the broncs and the blood
It's the steers and the mud
And they call the thing rodeo

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 17:32 (twenty years ago)

TRACER HAND TO THREAD BTW, this topic seems of interest to him

― Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

There must be something wrong with me when the only topics of interest to me are rodeo clowns, the evils of beards, and Kenny Chesney.

― Leon Federline (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:18 (twenty years ago)

Obviously you're turning into my sister.

― Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

"No, no, man," the guy shouted. "Here's your ear!"

― milton parker (Jon L), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

Bet they'd have damn fine food at their wedding.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

He had to shout, you see he had lost... nevermind...

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

This thread is like prozac to me, so reliable.

― Hunter (Hunter), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

Ally, I hope you're happy to know that saying "LFB" (Lucky. Fucking. Bitch(es).) has become a common meme amongst my friends here. That's saying the acronym itself *and* what it stands for.. although the former is more common, because you know, it's Seattle, and it's the geeky shit we do up here.

― donut debonair (donut), Friday, 13 May 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

I never knew what I was missing
Love with no passion in the kissing
I can't explain it, how you made me open up
And you showed me noses I never thought I'd see, whoa
I'd hate to think the clown could be me
‘Cause there is no one that makes me buck the way you do
You're some kinda lover
Turn me on, run from the bull
You're some kinda lover
Make me feel, oh, so real
Hold me and tell me that you love me, whoa
Right after you redress your cuts
We'll light a Zippo as a symbol of our love
Then we'll move real close like in a perfect fantasy, oh
I wish these moments could go on and on and on
But before you leave I want you to know
You're some kinda lover
Turn me on, make balloon animals
You're some kinda lover, yeah
Make me feel, oh, so real

Ah...ah...ah...ah...ah...
Ho, whoa, whoa, whoa
Ho
Yeah

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 13 May 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

My first thought of course, besides cod-Jody Watley lyrics, was that she could meet the ever more elusive Tracer Hand! This thread inspired me to do a little more digging and I'm happy to report that Tracer has appeared in competition as recently as 2004!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 14 May 2005 18:38 (twenty years ago)

L. F. B.

― donut debonair (donut), Saturday, 14 May 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

four weeks pass...

Well so anyway my mom just emailed me. My other two sisters are in Europe right now, and, after having done the nude beach trip and, uh, meeting a shit ton of mimes, they are currently in the Coliseum, doing "gladiator things" (???) and being filmed by a French documetary filmmaking team.

Sometimes I wonder where the hell I exactly have misstepped.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:49 (twenty years ago)

Be thankful you didn't meet a shit ton of mimes!

Fuck that.

― donut e-goo (donut), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

*invents mimesweeper*

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

The not finishing HS thing probably had something to do with it.

SPRING BREAK WOO!

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

Could have been a shit ton of French goths.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 June 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

It is neither spring nor are my sisters in high school, you madman.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

Word.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Dude 'Zay, when is your wedding already? I really want to meet the sister that dresses up for halloween like turn-of-the-century captain of industry. I want to tour factories with her and ask her whether machines will ever replace the Chinee.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

And I want to meet the other two.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Someone should take me to Hooters.

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

alright alright alright, lemme get to planning, I swear it's the next thing on my list after I finish up fixing up the new apt.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

YAY!

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

I am the best straight male wedding planner you could possibly have. Seriously, I know it all.

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

alright, tell me what you know about cakes.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

I can offer you an ox as ring bearer which I will ritually slaughter and serve up for the wedding reception.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

oh snap. Ed wins.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

alright, tell me what you know about cakes.

If you are having an outside wedding, make sure that you use an icing that will not

a) melt
b) attract bugs

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

I would recommend a three-tiered cake with different flavors and fillings - something for everyone. You can even use a fake tier.

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

wear something on which the blood will not show, ok.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

I would like to have a cake that is not white, but perhaps, like, bright orange, or teal.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Won't they be bathing in the blood anyway, Ed?

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

You should really start a 'plan my wedding' thread and take solicitations from ILXors like Star Jones

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

I would like to have a cake that is not white, but perhaps, like, bright orange, or teal.

This is very possible, and you won't have to compromise on flavor or texture. Make sure to shop around and try lots of cake.

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Do not keep any of your cake. Make sure to eat it all.

I chose the top tier of ours myself and greatly enjoyed eating it.

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

Also -

Everyone will have an opinion. DO NOT LISTEN.

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

Wait, wedding planning without me? :-(

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

I never underrstood that, keeping the cake. I mean does that really even work, freezing it for like a YEAR and then eating it? Wouldn't it get really nasty?

Also the blood spatters would probably go bad over a year.

xpost u r OTM about this opinion thing you know.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

Do NOT listen to anyone, even your family or your best friend! OR your fiance!

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

Don't even listen to me!

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

there should be 96 tiers on your cake

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

as long as you have an open bar, do whatever!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

Have the reception AT Hooters.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

Actually, Mookie speaks wisdom.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

isnt teal a sort of duck?

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

yes. I want a cake made out of duck, and ox blood, with 734 tiers.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

Yum!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

Get all your vendors to SIGN agreements of some kind. Don't feel like a dick doing it, we had a photographer bail on us at some unfortunate moment.

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

Wedding planning is best kept off ilx. Except maybe I should have gotten an ilx dj.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

rice krispie treat cake!!

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

I think Donut would make a good wedding DJ.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Get it from here

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

What corporate sponsors are you going to get??? I suggest Grey Goose and Canada Dry. thx.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

you need oatmeal as a binding agent.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

Our DJs were BIKERS. I forbade them to play "I've Had The Time Of My Life" or "Celebration".

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

ugh no ILX DJ!!! ILX photographer.

xpost those are pretty good corporate sponsors, though maybe Vera Wang might still be interested...

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

My friend told his wedding DJ, "play whatever you want, but if you want to get paid then NO JIMMY F*CKING BUFFET."

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

- Cake is terrible after a year. Trust me, don't save it.

- if anyone in your wedding party is breastfeeding, make sure they child is fed WELL BEFORE the ceremony

- if you are getting married in front of a fountain, don't let Tom drink a lot of beer beforehand while he waits for your breastfeeding maid of honor to hurry the hell up and feed the kid

- if you are told to hang your veil over a hanger in the bathroom to steam out any wrinkles, hang it by the comb or whatever you will use to attach to your head because otherwise you will end up with a hanger indent in your veil. Not as pretty as you'd think.

- don't let your sister (the aforementioned breasfeeder) apply nailpolish right before you show her how to bustle your dress

- disposable cameras on the tables are kinda cool

- find someone to follow you around at all times with a bottle of champagne, so as to give you frequent refills, and don't forget to eat *something*, even if it's just a little.

More as I think of it.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

The woman that designed Zellweger's dress designed my wife's dress! (so I'm told)

xp who knows that "Tootsie Roll" song? I heard it, for the first time, at my own wedding.

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

hire some conservatory trained russian classical musicians. they are normally to be found busking in metros, and on stage at the weekend at ther mariinsky. i reckon you could knock up a quartet for $400 + air fare. theres probably some knocking about in NY

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

Yes, don't forget to eat!

― the D Double signal (nordicskilla), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

Of the many reasons Luna is cool, one of the best is her practical advice. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

PLAN MY WEDDING

xpost omg if either of my maid of honors are breastfeeding at the time of my wedding it'd either be A) a miracle B) the ruin of my dad's life.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

This DJ I know has a list of things he won't play at weddings:

y.m.c.a.
chicken dance
hokey pokey
shout
proud mary
bulls theme
celebration
electric slide
macarena
cha cha slide
white wedding
butterfly kisses
daddy's little girl
paradise by the dashboard light
anything played in a sports arena
it's raining men
old time rock 'n' roll
i will survive
strokin'
hot hot hot / conga line
copacabana
we are family
celine dion
whitney houston
kenny rogers
kenny loggins
kenny g
blues brothers soundtrack
billy ocean
michael bolton
...etc...

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

It is okay, I have everything under control. I have hired Ween to play at the reception, and the drinks available will be Iron City Beer, Sprite, and Cuervo Gold. My mother has offered to make the cake herself. Also, I am going to have all my buddies I have been able to track down from when I was 17 until the present in attendance as groomsmen, and we have some canary yellow linen tuxedos with drawstring pants lined up. You mom and dad will be getting a bill in the mail from the online build-your-wedding service I found while bored at work today. You should have seen it, it was totally easy to use.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 13 June 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

Haha I hope you liked my dad's collection of guns! Cos he gon' use it on you now, son!

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

Actually nevermind his whole wedding party wore powder blue leisure suits.

WHY R U NOT IN SCHOOL

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

Maybe he is.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

A partial list of the things that the dj played at my best friend's wedding:

y.m.c.a.
chicken dance
shout
THE OK SOONERS FIGHT SONG (I WISH I WAS KIDDING)
celebration
electric slide
boot scoot boogie
man, I feel like a woman
white wedding
old time rock 'n' roll
i will survive
we are family
leavin' on a jet plane

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

This is reminding me that I will DJ my own wedding with whoever my future spouse is, splitting down the middle on song choice, firing up the iPod and leaving it at that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 June 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

"Bulls Theme," btw = "Rock N Roll Part 2"

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 13 June 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

White Wedding is kind of...inappropriate, isn't it. I mean it's hardly positive.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Monday, 13 June 2005 21:01 (twenty years ago)

My cousin wore a red dress. It was very dramatic. I think a red dress would suit you as well.

― youn, Tuesday, 14 June 2005 07:31 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

there should be 96 tiers on your cake

-- laurence kansas (lawrence_kansa...), June 13th, 2005.

Heh... I just got this...

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

Exactly.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

When you figure it out, you'll just cry.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:15 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, now I get it.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:19 (nineteen years ago)

Hope you were able to control your bladder while you were laughing so hard. My knees are bruised from the excessive slapping.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:30 (nineteen years ago)

It was his joke!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 02:05 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

found it :D

revive in honor of her impending date with the altar this saturday.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:40 (eighteen years ago)

ooh this thread reveals me to have been a liar in the great dc thread nipplegate incident of like last week.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:55 (eighteen years ago)

revive in honor of her impending date with the altar this saturday.

Very cool. So what's the imminent bro-in-law like?

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:56 (eighteen years ago)

This is one of my favourite thread titles, well done. And to your sister.

― chap, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:56 (eighteen years ago)

he's like this
http://photo.ringo.com/113/113601333O436767362.jpg

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:57 (eighteen years ago)

He has the right idea.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:10 (eighteen years ago)

i can't believe i didn't tell you about this--i have to wear this frightening purple bridesmaid dress. it has a green belt. and green shoes.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

^^^^ EW.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:12 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.seedfest.co.uk/seeds/eggplant/black-beauty.jpg
^^^ me, saturday

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

Pictures please!

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

green belt makes me more sad than anything. is it a WAIST-CINCHER???

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:14 (eighteen years ago)

nah it is some kind of ribbony belt. it is like bright springy green though, and the dress is purple. and TEA LENGTH which is just like--what? i don't understand it at all. i will post pictures, on this thread perhaps!

i should scan back in the pix from the last time i was a bridesmaid, i was unrecognizable after the hair and makeup people fucked with me.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:16 (eighteen years ago)

please note what holiday this saturday is because it was not a coincidence of timing, btw :\

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:17 (eighteen years ago)

your sister is insane.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:18 (eighteen years ago)

ugh, I was trying to be optimistic, Ally, because weirdo color combinations can be cute sometimes, but I do not understand tea-length dresses. WHY?

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:18 (eighteen years ago)

I mean that in the nicest, most non-offensive way possible.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:18 (eighteen years ago)

xpost

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:18 (eighteen years ago)

i am given the option to change out of the green heels and into flip flops at reception, though :D

flip flops that have been bedazzled by another bridesmaid.

8[

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:18 (eighteen years ago)

please note what holiday this saturday is because it was not a coincidence of timing, btw :

Oh dear.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

i should scan back in the pix from the last time i was a bridesmaid, i was unrecognizable after the hair and makeup people fucked with me.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40980000/jpg/_40980221_carter_203pa.jpg

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

ok flip flops + tea length dress = :(

I TAKE IT THIS IS ONE OF THESE CASUAL WEDDINGS.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

Bedazzled?!?!

― Nicole, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:21 (eighteen years ago)

that would've been better!!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:21 (eighteen years ago)

wait that was an xpost re: helena monkey carter

i have no idea what the deal is with the flip flops and the bedazzling and i think it is terrifying and i am being punished by god for being a bad human being or something.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:21 (eighteen years ago)

MY SISTER MADE US WEAR FLIP-FLIPS FOR THE WEDDING. PASTEL MADRAS PLAID ONES. SHUT UP.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:22 (eighteen years ago)

I am so glad I have no sisters.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:23 (eighteen years ago)

MY SISTER MADE US WEAR FLIP-FLIPS FOR THE WEDDING. PASTEL MADRAS PLAID ONES. SHUT UP.

Laurel on Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:22 PM (42 seconds ago)

what is there only enough sanity for one daughter per family??? what is this???

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:24 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.weirdwildrealm.com/filmimages/bedazzled-dudley.jpg

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:24 (eighteen years ago)

?

What holiday is this Saturday over there? ( Evacuation Day ?)

― StanM, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:24 (eighteen years ago)

wow. I thought I hated flip-flops before, but I had no idea.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:25 (eighteen years ago)

my one regret in life is letting her wear a chic and fashionable and attractive and BLACK dress at my wedding with her own shoes and jewelery of her choice. should've made her wear hot pink and carry a parasol.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:25 (eighteen years ago)

St. Patrick's Day, same kinda deal. xpost

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:25 (eighteen years ago)

hahaha if my sisters ever get married, they'll KILL one another

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:26 (eighteen years ago)

i am going to request the dj play peter cook's song from that movie. in fact i will bring it with me so he can't even pull some "oh we don't have that" stunt.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:26 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, bridesmaid dresses are for punishing your female relatives/friends for anything they've ever done to you.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:26 (eighteen years ago)

wait waht is a tea-length dress

― river wolf, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:26 (eighteen years ago)

how perfect, to be wed on kurt russell's birthday

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:26 (eighteen years ago)

Drunken American Day

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:27 (eighteen years ago)

I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO MY SISTER AT ALL. I DON'T DESERVE THIS.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:27 (eighteen years ago)

DAD?

― river wolf, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:27 (eighteen years ago)

Everyone'll be green with envy! (and because of St. Patrick's, obv)

― StanM, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

The bridesmaids must look as ugly as possible to delay the onset of the groom's extramarital hanky-panky.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

wait waht is a tea-length dress

river wolf on Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:26 PM (47 seconds ago)

horrifying

http://www.melissasweet.com/images/fashions/detail/PetuniaAd_f.jpg

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

tea-length means between the knee and ankle; it hits at the most unflattering part of the leg imo.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

Tea-length dress = comes up to one's teabag

― n/a, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

Well, teeeeechnically it was to keep the other bridesmaids from having to purchase a pair of matching shoes, because they're my sister's best friends and some couldn't have afforded any kind of shoes that I would have agreed to wear BUT the insanity was my sister not standing up to my mom and saying that we should all wear white or cream shoes that DIDN'T HAVE TO MATCH. But really I think there was no one shoe style that everyone had or could afford BUT J CREW FLIP-FLOPS BURN, THEY BURN.

I wish that a) I were ever getting married, and b) that if I were, it would be possible to make my sister wear something horrid without inflicting it on any of my other friends. Ooooooooh, maybe I could get married while she's PREGNANT and she'll have to be in all the photos!

― Laurel, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:28 (eighteen years ago)

tea-length dresses=the mullet of formalwear

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:29 (eighteen years ago)

oh yeah i think green beer is going to be offered at this shindig.

i luckily have skinny calves so the length isn't soooooooo horrible but STILL. yuck.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:29 (eighteen years ago)

Horseshoe you are a genius.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:29 (eighteen years ago)

aw thanks! i guess hideousness is inspiring.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:30 (eighteen years ago)

wow, reception drinking + st. pats drinking

― brownie, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:34 (eighteen years ago)

Paint your hair and face green so everyone pays attention to YOU all night and not at her? :-)

― StanM, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:34 (eighteen years ago)

(er, to)

― StanM, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:34 (eighteen years ago)

oh did i mention the "rehearsal dinner" is a 4 hour long STARTING AT NOON concert by future bro-in-law's old band from ohio followed by a pool party.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

POOL PARTY

― river wolf, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

you can't call it a dinner, then!

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

DRUNK IN ARIZONA: A MOVIE STARRING TOMBOT & ALLYZAY

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

:-0

― brownie, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

....at least it's not a "find the leprechaun's pot o' gold!" treasure hunt?

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

i told my mom i was going to wear this to rehearsal dinner. she has not e-mailed me since ;_;

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

well that would have treasures at least

― river wolf, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

DO IT

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

not appropriate for salt water swimming

― river wolf, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

so, in closing, i will be gone from these boards starting thursday and not returning til monday night. pray for me, everyone.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:39 (eighteen years ago)

our thoughts will be with you!

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:39 (eighteen years ago)

i'll pray for tombot first, if that's okay w/you

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

dude he just has to wear a suit from the men's warehouse and doesn't even have to deal with a crazy lady with a lord of the rings tattoo at all.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

but you can just do that, whatever!!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

What does he have to wear? Pink shirt, green cummerbund?

― StanM, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

yeah dudes almost never get fucked sartorially in these situations.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

(AAARRRGGGHHH damn you, xpost)

― StanM, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

i actually have not seen his suit so for all i know it is leopard print.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

I actually had to convince my mother that the BMs shoes didn't have to be exactly the same. God, I am so glad that I will *hopefully* never have to plan a wedding ever again. Although it was fun and most things turned wonderfully, I hated planning and am very glad I only had to deal with doing so for six months. I feel so bad for you regarding the bedazzled flip flops - that's pretty bad. Also, a girl I work with did make her BMs carry parasols. The groomsmen worse khakis with flower short sleeved button downs. For serious!

― ENBB, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

The groomsmen worse khakis with flower short sleeved button downs.

UH.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

whoa that's a bit much. unless they got married on a beach but even then...!

my mom was glad enough that i agreed to wear an actual gown instead of the minidress i had chosen for myself so i mean basically the BMs could've shown up in pajamas and she wouldn't have cared.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

just read above comments - the cowoker bride also had a pool party after the reception and she herself wore flip flops. They weren't just any flip flops though - they were those classy platform flip flops made out of foam or some crap like that.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:46 (eighteen years ago)

hahahahahahahahaha oh god those things, my friend brought them up when i was telling him about all this. "at least you don't have to wear the platform flip-flops."

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:48 (eighteen years ago)

I mean seriously, what the hell.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:49 (eighteen years ago)

Ha - me too! I initially found a short pink dress I wanted to wear but wound up, much to my mother's delight, wearing a very simple off the shoulder long white dress BM dress that looked enough like a proper wedding gown so that she got off my back. Still, she had something to say about the shoes. Amazing.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:49 (eighteen years ago)

haha it is weird as someone who once potty-trained a toddler to attempt to read "BM" as anything other than bowel movement

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:51 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, my bowel movement dress was pretty amazing. ;-)

That reminds me of last night when I had to explain to my husband's father why I couldn't handle hearing him talk about wanting to pick up some "faggots with peas and chips" on the way home. In England faggots are meatball type things. When his Mom said that I "shouldn't bother trying faggots because [I] wouldn't like them," I nearly died especially since we were in a bar and within earshot of several other tables.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

Ally, if you wear that silver leaotard, I will give you $5.

The one time I was a bridesmaid, I asked my friend "what shoes should I wear??" and she said "Oh, I don't care".

― tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

At my wedding I didn't really care about the shoes the bridesmaids were wearing either -- those dyed-to-match satin shoes are always heinous and gross, I wouldn't force people to wear them. But those are still more palatable than bedazzled flip-flops, ugh. I hate flip-flops enough without any bedazzlement.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

ally i know you probably already said this but where in AZ is the wedding?

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

yes where exactly?

― brownie, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:01 (eighteen years ago)

on the beautiful campuses of asu.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:01 (eighteen years ago)

So it's at a college campus, on St. Patrick's Day. So much makes more sense now.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

shut up.

i used to live right next door to asu for a year.

in fact, i lived in a sorority house at asu for two weeks of my life.

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:04 (eighteen years ago)

I am frightened by "bedazzlement". Bedazzlement is, like, something that happens to people when they take acid and wear color refracting glasses at the roller rink. Your shoes shouldn't be bedazzled, this could lead to disastrous fall-downs.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:05 (eighteen years ago)

by arizona law, sorority houses are technically, legally considered whorehouses.

themoreyouknow.jpg

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:05 (eighteen years ago)

its true.

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:06 (eighteen years ago)

in fact, i lived in a sorority house at asu for two weeks of my life.

This begs questions. Though perhaps Ally answered them.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:06 (eighteen years ago)

ally if you need hot tips on where to go blow off steam when away from the wedding, shoot me an e-mail.

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:07 (eighteen years ago)

I don't see what's wrong with the tea-length dress, but then again I wouldn't.

― jaymc, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:07 (eighteen years ago)

yeah i was powned on dress knowledge last night

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:08 (eighteen years ago)

Bedazzled flip-flops are almost so bad it's good territory.

You need to paint FUCK OFF on your toenails or something.

― tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:10 (eighteen years ago)

the tea-length dress is just mystifying. i think the idea of it is that it's somehow more elegant than a knee-length dress, but not...too..elegant? like an ankle-length dress would be? as if that were a legitimate problem, to come up with a dress that was both flirty and elegant at the same time? whatever. that just seems dumb. and if you don't have skinny calves it makes it seem that your legs are uniformly the width of the widest point of your calf. in short, HATE.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:11 (eighteen years ago)

ok i e-mailed but now not sure if it'll ever go thru because i sent it from webmail link 8[

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:11 (eighteen years ago)

these flip flops would look good at a wedding

http://www.chadiscrafts.com/Flipflopsred6redtiarablfancy.jpg

― brownie, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

i was inbetween apartments after just deciding to take a year off from school in chicago.

due to the law ally mentioned above, sororities were not allowed to have "houses." until 2001, they got an entire floor of a dorm instead.

the school and the (very well endowed) sororites found a loop hole where they sold (or maybe leased?)campus land to a private contractor who built this huge condos/dorms complex to house ALL sororities on campus (and asu is a huge greek school).

a good friend was a sophmore and a sorority member at the time. She mangaed to get an early move-in just as construction was completing and i was her roomate until i got the lease on my new apartment, (at a complex that might as well have been a frat/sor house).

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

xxxxxpost

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

at our wedding, we let the bridal and groomal parties wear whatever they wanted (besides flip-flops). we are a grebt couple. though maybe the ques were grebter.

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

yeah we didn't have anyone at our wedding!

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

hahahahahahahahaha oh god those things, my friend brought them up when i was telling him about all this. "at least you don't have to wear the platform flip-flops."

the schef (adam schefter ha ha) on Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:48 (Yesterday)

YEAH THAT WAS ME

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 03:43 (eighteen years ago)

Grady, do you mean the Palo Verde sorority building between University Ave and Sun Devil Stadium? I lived in the Palo Verde West dorm from 99-00, right next to that sorority brothel. On more than one occasion I saw an ambulance parked outside it, apparently because of alcohol poisoning. They had a cafeteria for all the Palo Verde dorms in the brothel building, and there was a big-screen TV set up in there. During one of the few times I ate over there that Simpsons episode happened to be on where Flanders says heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State! Everyone was all OMG

― iiiijjjj, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 04:00 (eighteen years ago)

The groomsmen worse khakis with flower short sleeved button downs.

This is seriously what I wore as a groomsman at my sister's wedding. She and her husband are both huge Jimmy Buffet fans. My mother actually invited Mr. Buffet to the wedding. Sadly, he did not attend but he did send an autographed picture.

― joygoat, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 04:36 (eighteen years ago)

Oh my god, don't tell me those things. Even if they are real.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 04:42 (eighteen years ago)

my one regret in life is letting her wear a chic and fashionable and attractive and BLACK dress at my wedding with her own shoes and jewelery of her choice. should've made her wear hot pink and carry a parasol.

you fucked up there. Although both of the weddings I went to, last year, with sisters as bridesmaids the maids got to choose their own dresses, which led to one sister choosing something that was backless, and largely frontless and seemingly held on only by the power of tit-tape. Who did I dance with at that wedding?

― Ed, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 06:55 (eighteen years ago)

jimmy mod, are you no longer my friend or something? i know it was you!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 14 March 2007 14:13 (eighteen years ago)

Is teh combo green and purple because they want to go timeless? Y'know this is a combination that has never been, isn't and never will be fashionable so if in 30 yrs time they want to pretend they married yesterday, they can pretend so?

― nathalie, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 14:19 (eighteen years ago)

ok that is actually so crazy that, if it is true, i wear this dress proudly.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 14 March 2007 14:23 (eighteen years ago)

In 30 years time, will they look exactly the same???

VAMPIRES

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 14:54 (eighteen years ago)

You didn't know this?

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 14:55 (eighteen years ago)

hooters does have pretty good wings. can you get gin there?

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 15:02 (eighteen years ago)

yes

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 14 March 2007 15:03 (eighteen years ago)

that's lunch settled, then

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 15:04 (eighteen years ago)

it's so lovely out today that i think i'd be remiss if i DIDNT walk down to the inner harbor and get drunk on gin

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 15:05 (eighteen years ago)

I was looking for a picture of Grimace in a green belt to highlight the awfulness of the color scheme and ended up with a terrifying green Grimace picture. Eek.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 15:44 (eighteen years ago)

Grady, do you mean the Palo Verde sorority building between University Ave and Sun Devil Stadium?

Yes. That's where all the sororities were before 2001. I spent a night in that dorm/brothel that ended with me climbing over the fence around the aquatic center and jumping naked off the high high high platform dive.

that Simpsons episode happened to be on where Flanders says heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State!

you know Matt Groening is an Alum, right?

I bet we know a lot of the same people.

― g®▲Ðұ, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 19:25 (eighteen years ago)

OMG

http://i19.tinypic.com/4ie58k2.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

o________0

― river wolf, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

Look, wings, too! Strongo was just talking about them!

― StanM, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

I spent a night in that dorm/brothel that ended with me climbing over the fence around the aquatic center and jumping naked off the high high high platform dive.

haha, yeah I remember that pool! me and some dudes from that dorm hopped that fence and shimmied up there once for some totally unsafe drunken high-dive action. there was also that smoking bench outside PV west (mirror of PV east) where this guy Travis once got a ticket from the campus police for smoking pot weed out there. the officer's name was P. Nuss, and shortly after the incident the bench was declared The Officer P. Nuss Memorial Bench by someone with a sharpie.

I was only there for a year and haven't kept in touch with anyone. I was going there when Phoenix PD raided Sammy "The Bull" Gravano's esctacy ring a couple blocks down the street.

― iiiijjjj, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

jimmy mod, are you no longer my friend or something? i know it was you!

the schef (adam schefter ha ha) on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 10:13 AM (8 hours ago)

WE ARE BFF! HUGGLES!

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:33 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.back-in-style.com/image.php?productid=4414

what I got when googling purple and green dress. Not exactly purple and green, which must account for its total excellence. Sold, goddammit.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:17 (eighteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/161/427884960_92ede34195.jpg
[Removed Illegal Link]

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:18 (eighteen years ago)

FUCK THIS BOARD
FUCK YOU IT IS NOT AN ILLEGAL LINK

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

l-r, resignation, obliviousness

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

i am doing this shit today

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

I WANNA SEE A PIC OF YOUR DRESS.

― nathalie, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:24 (eighteen years ago)

getting married or eating chicken wings? either way, congrats bro.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:24 (eighteen years ago)

here is dresses:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/164/427655205_5e0d7ec0d5.jpg

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:26 (eighteen years ago)

SO much better thanI imagined, if it had been pale purple then it would have been awfulm but that purple is well so purple.

― Ed, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:27 (eighteen years ago)

That's not Tubgirl, that's the wedding party.

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:28 (eighteen years ago)

guys this was posted on the sandbox but it is too good to leave only there
http://img01.picoodle.com/img/img01/7/3/20/f_rockettesm_3e4a5cf.jpg

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:29 (eighteen years ago)

Based on the one reception shot I hope everyone dressed up for the wedding in black T-shirts and smoked nonstop.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:30 (eighteen years ago)

That's not Tubgirl, that's AWESOME.

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:30 (eighteen years ago)

i'm getting married to a plate of wings

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:30 (eighteen years ago)

i had to get a divorce from a sack of potatoes

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:33 (eighteen years ago)

that's no way to talk about your wife

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:35 (eighteen years ago)

EX-wife

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:35 (eighteen years ago)

</vaudeville>

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 15:35 (eighteen years ago)

Ally- Did you make it to Casey M0oore's?

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 17:13 (eighteen years ago)

great pics Ally and Tom!

― gff, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 17:43 (eighteen years ago)

g--no, was too busy :(
after wedding we went to someplace called rula bula (something like that), which was a VERY WEIRD PLACE. they had this separate smoking/bathroom area outdoors (though later it was revealed the entire outdoors was ok to smoke, if you could move your hand up to your mouth thru the crowd) but you couldn't take your drink with you. i was like, wtf do you even HAVE this area for, in your BAR, that drinks are unacceptable in?
ALSO: they wouldn't let me 36 year old cousin in because he forgot his ID at home, so the groom, tom and my cousin all ditched us and trekked back to mesa to get the ID. at which point tom promptly got changed and then forgot to grab HIS wallet back up...hilarity almost ensued but they realized soon after they left the house ;_;

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 17:47 (eighteen years ago)

hahahaha.

yeah its a college town so they're super strict wrt ID's.

rula bula is where my love affair with Jameson Irish Wiskey began one unseasonably chilly night years ago.

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 17:51 (eighteen years ago)

that's just how it is, in "the zone".

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 17:58 (eighteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/186/428299690_327504e99a.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/169/428299688_b22b3abb58.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/155/428299689_26a670718e.jpg

i won btw

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:00 (eighteen years ago)

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:00 (eighteen years ago)

WHY IS NO ONE POSTING TO THIS THRED?

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:03 (eighteen years ago)

because new ilx basically sucks

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:03 (eighteen years ago)

I personally have nothing to add

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:04 (eighteen years ago)

you should be expressing proudness of your adopted family

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:07 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.phonographique.com/store/image.php?productid=10072

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:09 (eighteen years ago)

Holy crap. The bride really doing a keg stand? Really?!

― ENBB, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:10 (eighteen years ago)

I am gobsmacked.

― Ed, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:11 (eighteen years ago)

my dad apparently started the keg stand nonsense but there are no photos of him doing it so far ;_;

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:12 (eighteen years ago)

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:14 (eighteen years ago)

fucking xpost

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:15 (eighteen years ago)

WHY IS NO ONE POSTING TO THIS THRED?

Hey, some things leave you speechless.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:15 (eighteen years ago)

ILX is like this horrible frankenstein's monster that just won't die, this decaying body bolted onto a shiny frame yet strangely lacking the qualities one would normally associate with being human.

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:16 (eighteen years ago)

DUDE SRSLY BEST WEDDING EVER, OMG

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:19 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.hooters.com/fun_stuff/

― Latham Green, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 18:56 (eighteen years ago)

oh, the dresses aren't so bad, Ally! Ed's right: it's a nice purple, and the sashes aren't as wide as I thought they'd be. you look very nice!

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 19:01 (eighteen years ago)

did someone do that updo for you or did you do it yourself? I wish I could wear my hair like that every day. it's awesome.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 19:02 (eighteen years ago)

BRIDALKEGSTANDS.COM is available!

Check the domain names that you would like to register below. Multiple Domain Name Strategies
Tips From An Expert

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 19:04 (eighteen years ago)

hahahaha jesus, no, someone else did that for me. i have no coordination and also i have NO idea how she even did it. i mean, my hair is about chin length and she didn't put extensions in or anything. hair genie. i was actually ok with the outcome. i wouldn't let anyone else do my makeup but decided to just kiss it to god re: the hair because i have no abilities to do my own hair.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 19:05 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, the only time I had my hair done like that, I was a bridesmaid and the bride had all of us get our hair done at schmancy salon. it was brilliant; it's the only time my hair has every stayed completely out of my face for hours.

the rockettes line of boys is obv. awesome.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 19:06 (eighteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/171/427623570_d9fca28c5b.jpg
this is what our hairs looked like in the interim between "in face floppy hair" and "'60s updos hair" fwiw

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 19:08 (eighteen years ago)

ahahaha! my updo consisted of my hair being in lots of braids and then coiled so when I took it down I looked like medusa. it was pretty sweet.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 19:14 (eighteen years ago)

i was still yanking out bobby pins the next morning, i swear to god. there must've been 60+ in there.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 March 2007 19:16 (eighteen years ago)

Y'all looked great in those pink dresses. How disappointing, after the way you prepared us for the worst.

― StanM, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 08:12 (eighteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/147/429278560_4963f3a8b9.jpg
my dad :D

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 15:32 (eighteen years ago)

rad

― gff, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 15:34 (eighteen years ago)

Respect to your family.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 15:37 (eighteen years ago)

What kind of communist is your mum to have not taken part?

― Ed, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 15:38 (eighteen years ago)

a communist in a short skirt

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

That seems like a poor excuse for a member of your family, maybe she was the one that was adopted.

― Ed, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 15:58 (eighteen years ago)

i should probably post some actual nice pictures but that's not as hilarious

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 15:58 (eighteen years ago)

oh i'm not saying it is a terrific excuse, ed! i think she should've went ahead and done it!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 15:59 (eighteen years ago)

The wedding pictures looked really nice! I was expecting the worst from your description of the dresses but they looked good.

I had a boring fancy-schmancy wedding to go to that same day, there were no kegstands unfortunately.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 16:01 (eighteen years ago)

whoa! i am also amazed at kegstand wedding w/ parental involvement

― rrrobyn, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 16:01 (eighteen years ago)

Yes, that is a source of wonder.

― baaderonixx, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

more people should get married

― RJG, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 16:19 (eighteen years ago)

no, no one should get married. we should just throw more weddings.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 16:48 (eighteen years ago)

OTFM

― Ed, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 16:49 (eighteen years ago)

totally

i am also amazed at the tans (real? fake?)

― rrrobyn, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 16:54 (eighteen years ago)

haha mine is fake, i was suggestold to use some tanner. everyone else's is real (as far as i know) but they do all live in arizona.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 16:56 (eighteen years ago)

ah, arizona, that'd explain things
haha, you don't even look tanned though in comparison (you look healthy though), so maybe their suggestion was so that you wouldn't contrast too much in all-important wedding photos

― rrrobyn, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:01 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, i figure as much. my sister isn't even too tan (for her) to be honest, she's just very dark. i spent the entire time wondering if any of them had ever even heard of sunscreen.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:12 (eighteen years ago)

OH this is a cameraphone photo because my camera's battery had died and i forgot to charge it, but we ate dinner in a restaurant that had THIS
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/183/426265010_1ed805a6c3.jpg

yes, that is a bust of the pope. on the table.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:23 (eighteen years ago)

you know who never heard of sunscreen was Tatsu, that dude

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:29 (eighteen years ago)

That pope is fantastic, you can eat in peace knowing your food has been blessed by the pontiff.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:41 (eighteen years ago)

Pope on a lazy susan. The dizzy pontif.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:47 (eighteen years ago)

is that the new pope or the old pope?

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:52 (eighteen years ago)

It looks like Pope Classic, as opposed to the New Pope.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:54 (eighteen years ago)

lol brown skinned ppls be brown xp

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:57 (eighteen years ago)

my comment is actually based on him spending inordinate amounts of time lounging in the direct sun by the pool in the backyard wearing SPF zero

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 18:00 (eighteen years ago)

yes, that is a bust of the pope. on the table.

I was at one of those places in Santa Clara or Palo Alto or one of those Silicon Valley suburbs once. They had just got nu-pope in. It cost them $450 or something to replace the pope. The staff were all really pissed off that the management wouldn't let them sell the old pope on eBay.

― accentmonkey, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 18:12 (eighteen years ago)

The staff were all really pissed off that the management wouldn't let them sell the old pope on eBay.

he was probably pretty smelly and mushy at that point ... you would THINK they wouldn't mind getting rid of him.

― Eisbaer, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 18:21 (eighteen years ago)

insert pope-a-roni story here

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 21 March 2007 19:46 (eighteen years ago)

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/pope-dan.jpg

― Eisbaer, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 22:47 (eighteen years ago)

Buca di Beppo was it?

― peter james, Thursday, 22 March 2007 17:36 (eighteen years ago)

Look, I don't have time to read through this whole thread. Is it ok to just assume that your sister met the guy she married while serving him at Hooters?

Also, can we talk about the thinking behind the Hooters mascot being an owl with human breasts for eyes?

― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 22 March 2007 17:47 (eighteen years ago)

the milk of wisdom? breasts=windows to the soul?

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 22 March 2007 19:10 (eighteen years ago)

I went into a Hooter's for the first time this weekend and the smell of fried food and ketchup was so overpowering I nearly wretched. And I like fried food and ketchup.

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 March 2007 19:12 (eighteen years ago)

spencer, for you, i will make them change their romance story to that one.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 22 March 2007 19:14 (eighteen years ago)

I'm finding it hard to shake the image in my mind of an owl with human breasts for eyes trying to get to the center of a tootsie roll (TOOTSIE ROLL!) pop.

Also, owls are assholes because of their annoyingly superior and withering gaze, but with human breasts for eyes, they're really something else aren't they?

― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 22 March 2007 19:35 (eighteen years ago)

You've put forward this "owls are assholes" thesis before, haven't you?

― HI DERE, Thursday, 22 March 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

It's Onion based:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/35819

― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 22 March 2007 19:39 (eighteen years ago)

iraqis consider owls to be stupid and calling someone an owl is an insult.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 22 March 2007 19:39 (eighteen years ago)

but really, just do a google image search for owl and you'll see what I mean. They don't think very much of us.

― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 22 March 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

i must say that i don't care much for owls either

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

This is what I do to owls:

http://rrc.boisestate.edu/Student%20Projects/N%20Taylor%20project/bucket%20o%20Bur%20Owls.jpg

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

thats right, PUT THEM IN A PLASTIC BUCKET

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

they are just going to fly out.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/ihasabukkets1.jpg

― Laurel, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

I CLIPPED THEIR SMUG LITTLE WINGS

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

not with enough cement they won't

xposts

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

i fucking love owls, they are so totally the black-sheep bad-asses of the bird of prey family.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

oh laurel that fucking rules!

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

I AM OWL MAN

― Eisbaer, Thursday, 22 March 2007 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

eighteen years pass...

Hopefully she can find a new gig

Hooters restaurant chain files for bankruptcy protection

Founded in 1983, the restaurant known for waitresses in skimpy outfits has run into financial difficulties lately

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/apr/01/hooters-restaurant-bankruptcy

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 1 April 2025 18:16 (two months ago)

They should take the advice of the tweet that said Hooters should appeal to younger people by bringing in real owls.

― papal hotwife (milo z), Tuesday, 1 April 2025 18:17 (two months ago)

It works in Japan.

― Jordan s/t (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 April 2025 18:24 (two months ago)

I wonder which is worth more, Hooters the chain or the Hooters, the band?

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 1 April 2025 18:33 (two months ago)

I went to a Hooters once in Dallas and had a beer while the dudes went to a Guitar Center (snore)
What was trippy was the panty hose on the servers, I'd forgotten that panty hose ever existed

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 1 April 2025 18:35 (two months ago)

I wonder which is worth more, Hooters the chain or the Hooters, the band?

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, April 1, 2025 2:33 PM (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

til that one of the Hooters wrote "What If God Was One of Us"

― Iza Duffus Hardy (President Keyes), Tuesday, 1 April 2025 18:43 (two months ago)

https://foreveryoung80s.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/hooters-with-hooters1.jpg

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 1 April 2025 18:59 (two months ago)

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