this is the thread where ilx tells me not to drink

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its been 2 and a half weeks without booze and i need some support cos its getting difficult. please nobody write "go on, have a beer, you know you want to".

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:37 (twenty-three years ago)

do you smoke? that's what i do when i can't have booze

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:39 (twenty-three years ago)

no, i don't smoke anything.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

you don't need booze, there's a hell of a lot more to life than drinking. hang in there, we're all pulling for you!

― Dave M. (rotten03), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

hmm. tricky.

a water bottle is your friend. other than that i don't know..

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Distract yourself. Go see a movie or two. Read a good, thick book. Rearrange your record collection. Make a few phone calls to friends.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I drank a lot of ginger ale. keep going. it's about to get a lot easier, at least if you're anything like me.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Fizzy water, Di! You get all the fun carbonated burps but no alcohol. Best of luck!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Go out and do things with friends who don't drink or who can leave alcohol out of their social activities without commenting on it or missing it. If you usually drink alone, don't be alone. If you usually drink while out at Such-and-Such-a-Place, don't go there for awhile. If there's a routine you associate with drinking, or vice versa, break that routine to the best of your ability (I'm pretty much summing up "the reasons I would have trouble quitting smoking," and applying them to drinking).

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay Di, you can do it!

― hstencil, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:02 (twenty-three years ago)

actually Tep while those do work for quitting smoking, for quitting drinking it's a bit of a different story. I found that going to clubs and bars and restaurants never mattered as long as I just drank soda and water. I just made sure I always had plenty of soda around, and I kept thinking about all the money I was saving by buying Canada Dry instead of Killian's.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:09 (twenty-three years ago)

tom, that has not worked for me when I stopped drinking. I could not go to bars, shows etc. At least not until enough time had passed that my temptation was gone. Then it's still hard.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I figure it depends on the drinker -- cause I've known smokers who could quit even while being around other people smoking (my ex), but every time I've tried, all it's taken is stepping outside a building and seeing the smokers there, and remembering the Sacred Vow To Always Give a Cigarette To Someone Who Asks To Bum One ...

Depends on the drinking environment, too, I'd think. On nights when I don't feel like drinking, it's a drag to be around people who are outright drunk, cause the novelty of "dude you're so DRUNK and I'm NOT" wears off pretty quick.

A better generalization, though, might be "if there are situations in which you crave a drink, avoid those situations if you can."

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:21 (twenty-three years ago)

if there are situations in which you crave a drink

such as being awake, for example

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:24 (twenty-three years ago)

congrats Di!

― BurmaKitty (BurmaKitty), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm in the same boat at the moment (struggling with putting a lid on too much drinking) and I find in my case that smashing the usual routines works to an extent. eg, normally I come home from work, pour a glass of white wine, light a smoke and sit in front of the TV. If I dont watch it, 4 wines and a pack of smokes later I hate myself.

So instead I try and come home and cook, or take a bath, or eat or ANYTHING that wont lead to that mental habitual act of "relaxing with a drink".

Avoiding parties and pubs can help too, esp if you have friends who dont understand and shove drinks in yr face :-/

And well done and continuing good luck Di, I really admire what you're doing, I hope I can do it too! :)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I've found that since I learned to drive my drinking decreased massively. just a thought

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Well er, thats probably a good thing ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:50 (twenty-three years ago)

good luck di, its hard to do especially when people around you drink as part of the 'usual social thingy'.
it sounds a bit lame but believe me, putting the CASH you would normally spend on alcohol into a jar labelled "present-for-me-not-drinking-money" does help. just dont raid it ok!

― donna (donna), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 04:10 (twenty-three years ago)

congratulations di, you're doing a great job.

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 04:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Just think, the amount of money you save, you can blow it on music.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 04:34 (twenty-three years ago)

hey Di , I dont think trying to shut yourself off from social drinking situations works,you just set yourself up for a big blowout eventually. Just keep doing what youve always done, as long as your friends are supportive it will get easier. Setting a new goal in the Anthony Robbins mold has merit I reckon, to help keep you focussed. Or maybe find God perhaps... joking... take care and good luck.

ps does Anthony still post here, did he ever take up training for the priesthood?

― kiwi, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 04:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Good luck Di; no advice from me but you definitely have my empathy.

― estela, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 06:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Get a juicer, juice things.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 06:45 (twenty-three years ago)

don't drink

― duane, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 07:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Wow, Di, that's really impressive! I tried not to drink and made it two and a half days before I caved and had a beer. :-(

Not drinking in social situations/bars and clubs is the hardest thing in the world. Especially if you're a musician - it's funny cause I always rehearse dead sober and have a great time, but can't get on a stage without a drink. The thing I find hardest is when you're at a club and someone offers you a drink. It takes the willpower of a crusading saint to say "no thanks" or even "yes, please, I'll have a sodapop."

I'm really trying to cut down myself (again) since HSA had to meet Extremely Drunk Kate and didn't like her at all. :-(

But good luck with it!!!

― kate, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 07:22 (twenty-three years ago)

ive never tried to cut out drinking, im happy with the amount i drink. perhaps something that works is only drinking if you are in a social situation (of course this is no good if you are one of those people that turn into a monster when drunk).

if i dont go out for 2 weeks, i dont drink for 2 weeks. i associate drinking with going out, so if im not going out i just dont have the urge to

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 07:40 (twenty-three years ago)

You don't actually want to drink, so don't.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 08:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah but thats one of the Problems. Not wanting to drink is not the same thing as knowing you need to stop/cut back on drinking, otherwise there's no issue really.

Gareth, you're lucky that your drinking mindset is only social, that ain't a problem at all :) I used to be like that too, but somehow it became a drink at home as well thing, and ugh. I'm not sure what my point was now but er yeah.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 08:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Some good suggestions so far--much love and support, Di! I'd add not just ginger ale but the really strong Reed's Ginger Ale...it's yummy and you have to drink it slow. Unfortunately it's about as expensive as good beer. Otherwise the money motivator is very good. Try lots of road trips...explore your area, drive to the nearest art museum and spend some time there, etc.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 09:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Di, well done and the best of luck with keeping it up. Do try to find ways to go out and have a good time, somewhere other than bars if that would be as difficult as I imagine. You need to go and have fun and hang with friends and stuff.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 11:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm with you on this, Di - I've been making fruit smoothies for the last 14 days to stave off the caffeine/alcohol demons.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Fruit has lost it's lustre somewhat.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Good luck - it does get better although it can get immensely BORING for a while.

I have decided to give up the BEER for a while. I shall not be giving up alcohol though. Just moving onto more sensible drinks that do not break my brain (last night was particularly broken) like gin and tonic/TVR/lighter fluid/babycham. Therefore tonight DO NOT LET ME HAVE A PINT.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Nordic, if you're feeling the caffeine twinge, take an aspirin or paracetamol, it settles the feeling and actually works for people who want to quit smoking too.

Also good for detox: steam room, sauna, Turkish bath. Drink loads of water in situ and don't leave until you've had a whole 1.5L bottle of still water.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Best of luck, di. Do you like fruity frozen drinks? You can make or order virgin ones. Try to get all the alcohol out of your house so it's not there when you crave it.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:12 (twenty-three years ago)

i am pretty sure that anthony has entered monastic training.

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Asprin or tylenol frequently have caffeine in the pills, so that's good if you want to break the association with coffee or soda, but bad if you want to avoid caffeine. Check the label.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 15:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey Di! Keep going! You can do it!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like to officially join Di on the wagon.

Last night, I got told one time too many by someone I really respect that they do not like me at all when I am drunk (and I was drunk last night, well tipsy anyway). It was the last fucking straw. I feel humiliated, weak and useless.

I don't know if I can do this, but fuckitalltohell I am going to try.

Good luck - it does get better although it can get immensely BORING for a while.

I'm glad you mentioned this Sarah - this is my biggest fear and a large reason why I havent been able to do this succesfully before. I get bored easily and so I drink. Now that I write that down it seems so daft, so I guess thats a good start.

I'm depressed that it had to come to this for me, but determined to make it work. So here's hoping!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:16 (twenty-three years ago)

thanks everyone for the support and advice. i really related to what kate said about performing and drinking. practising and soundcheck sober is no problem. but somehow, when the lights go down and theres heaps of people staring at me expecting me to entertain them, dutch courage has gotten me through. i played my first gig sober a couple of weeks ago and it was fucking horrible. other than that, the first couple of weeks sober were okay. until a couple of days ago. i'm really down and i've been dying to just wash it all away with some lindauer. i used to be able to blame my self-loathing on booze, but it turns out i hate myself when i'm sober too. i guess i should just remember that at least when i'm sober, i have that measure of self-control. what trayce said about using booze to unwind at the end of the day struck a chord with me. i need to find a more productive way of unwinding, and right now i feel like a big pent-up highly strung thing. but you guys and my real life friends make it that much easier. :-)

trayce i have just seen your post. if you want to e-mail me from time to time about your progress, you are welcome to. i am determined to give up for good this time, so if i can share that spirit around i will.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I was going to suggest the same thing Di :) Lets do this thang!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Trayce and Di, I am so jealous of your determination to do this. I have been told more often than I can remember (or not) that I am an unmitigated pain in the arse when I drink too much. The problem I have is that sometimes I drink just enough, and that is a great feeling, but I don't always know when to stop and that's when the great feeling goes and I just feel like shit. But I always feel the good times outweigh the bad, and that I can know when enough is enough. I don't get it right often enough though...

Good luck both of you.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks ailsa - yeah, I know what you mean about the good times outweighing the bad, and thats how it should be when you are a fun and responsible social drinker. But when it slowly moves over That Line into "I cant stop at one drink" or "I am becoming a wanker when I am drunk" then its time to re-asses, and sadly thats where I'm at.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 23:17 (twenty-three years ago)

hey di your sober gig was really great - your new songs rocked the phil oakey. if yr feeeling down come watch more simpsons and john waters videos. pleeez do not avoid social occasions - who the hell else will i talk trash and robot dance with if your not around?

― ducklingmonster, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 23:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi Di, I've been sober for about 3 weeks, and I've never felt better, good luck to you! The most amazing thing was going to a club, not ordering a drink, and having a great time! Not getting belligerent or maudlin, etc. being able to actually think clearly both at night AND the morning after, not being scared of what other mess getting drunk will get me into... As long as I can keep this up, my life is markedly improved.

― Sean (Sean), Thursday, 15 May 2003 00:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I've been sober for about 3 weeks, and I've never felt better

This is the kind of thing I like to hear. It gives me something to look forwards too (I gonna stop smoking too, so I should feel good quicksmart I hope!).

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 15 May 2003 01:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Good luck, y'all.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 15 May 2003 03:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Good luck Di, thank you for the cd. I will send you a postcard.

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 15 May 2003 03:54 (twenty-three years ago)

go di you can do it.it is scary playing straight but you have done it .good for u

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Thursday, 15 May 2003 06:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Feeling vaguely guilty for bringing up alcohol > 25% of the time in AIM chat, but seriously sending out good thoughts to Tracey and Di.

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 15 May 2003 07:49 (twenty-three years ago)

i am a collection of traits, yelled loudly.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Keep it up, di! I know it must be hard, especially cuz most gigs give you free beer, but you can do it!

― Sarah MCLUsky (coco), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Nah Trayce, actually going to the pub as usual isn't boring, but the range of drinks available gets boring. There's only so much coke/orange juice you can drink although there are plenty of combos if you can be arsed to think of them (which I am usually not).

So far I have stuck to my NO BEER resolution. Num num pass the lighter fluid...

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:19 (twenty-three years ago)

good luck with this everyone. my flatmate matt g is going on wagon for 3 months i think, to try and get himself straight

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:55 (twenty-three years ago)

OK, an update. Ironically, yesteday on livejournal Jim suggested I shouldnt quit booze and smokes at once, too much to cope with. And so when I got home, I decided not to be so hard on myself and do the smokes a bit later on.

So I had a ceremonious half-glass of wine that was all I had left, drank it very slowly, bade it farewell, and that was it.

Was nice to wake up not feeling seedy, heh. I'm feeling confident so far, which is GRATE. Now I am going to go and spend my boozemoney on getting my nose ring replaced with a stud, and buy me some clothez.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 15 May 2003 23:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Rah for Trayce! And Di and all! :-) Yes, Trayce, I hear them clothes are useful for job situations and the like.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 May 2003 00:23 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah way to go, trayce. i am nearing the three-week mark, which will be my personal record.

― di smith (lucylurex), Friday, 16 May 2003 00:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay Di! :D

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 16 May 2003 00:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned: yeah, I was wondering why drinking a bottle of stoli wasn't quite keeping me as warm as I could be :D

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 16 May 2003 00:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Trayce, good luck! (And some more support to Di too, if you need it!) I stopped getting drunk because I didn't much like drunk-me (how I was to others and how I felt at the time), and I've never really regretted it. (I am sick of saying how long it's been since I've been drunk, because it can so easily sound like bragging, which it isn't because not liking it means there has been no temptation or strength involved. I keep thinking I must get drunk sometime soon so the stat goes...)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 16 May 2003 20:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I had two stubbies of cider last night :( But! I have no desire to have any more for now, and I even feel like giving up smoking for a while as well. So I'm not going to beat myself up over two damn drinks... I shouldn't should I?

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 18 May 2003 23:41 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm drinking and smoking enough for all of us

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Sunday, 18 May 2003 23:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah well, thats ok then ;)

Somewhere on another thread someone posted about a quit smoking book, and the guy who wrote it apparently used to smoke A HUNDRED CIGARETTES A DAY. I cannot comprehend smoking that many cigarettes! Thats like... 3-4 packs! Jesus. Made me feel better about my 5-10 cigs a night I can tell you.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 18 May 2003 23:57 (twenty-three years ago)

when i was recording back in 2001 our producer would sit there and smoke this way through 3 packets. every. day. i simply couldn't keep up.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm suddenly having visions of Martin Hannet in 24 Hour Party People :)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:23 (twenty-three years ago)

except Richard's a little... skinnier.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't drink!

http://www.inselmedia.de/leeson/nr10/bilder/mark-e-smith.jpg

Alternately, all of this.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:46 (twenty-three years ago)

you could have the same effect from drinking diet cola

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus H on a pogo stick thats a bloody awful pic, even by Mark E's standards of awfulness.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:54 (twenty-three years ago)

(as seen on tv:)
30 year old twins.
The one who drink and smoke every week looked like she was in her 40's compared to her 'straight edge' sister who looked her age.
I know it's not block rockin' science but still I like to think of this example to take it easy on the old 'neuron killah'.

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Monday, 19 May 2003 12:05 (twenty-three years ago)

MES's new wife is apparently quite gorgeous, though. DRINK!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 19 May 2003 12:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, I had a beer on Sunday, but it was Caffreys and for some reason I don't include that in my definition of beer. Also THERE IS ONLY ONE so that's alright. I am going to the PUB tonight but only for a short while and will not have a pint of beer. Although I fear my next trip to the Head of Steam will put an end to my folly.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 19 May 2003 12:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I still feel fantastic! It's strange that my whole view on drinking has, at least for now, totally changed. I always used to think if I drank I'd feel good, but now I know without a doubt that if I drink I'll feel bad. I really have no desire to drink, and I'm thankful for that.

Also, you shouldn't beat yourself up for drinking, but if you're going out and having a couple drinks it doesn't sound like you've quit. For me it's not about saying "this time I'm really quitting!", its about just not taking any more drinks. But continued good luck.

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 19 May 2003 14:09 (twenty-three years ago)

3 weeks and 3 days sober.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 19 May 2003 19:29 (twenty-three years ago)

:-) :-) Rah! How are you feeling?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 19 May 2003 19:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Not to drink. NOT TO DRINK!!!!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 19 May 2003 19:34 (twenty-three years ago)

i feel pretty good, thanks ned! is it cheating to occasionally take other drugs when you're giving up drinking? oh i'm too stressed about my ugly seminar tomorrow to care!

― Ethyl L. K'Hol (Ethyl L. K'Hol), Monday, 19 May 2003 19:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh the 2 drinks I had did nothing as far as making me even tipsy... in fact they made me feel ill. This is a Good Thing.

This week, I are mosely gonna try quitting the smokes too. I'm sick of feeling tired all the time.

Rah Di, keep it up! You're doing way better than me :)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 May 2003 21:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah, there is no reason why you should include caffereys in your definition of beer. Itrs nitrokeg muck for people who don't like the taste of beer.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 09:10 (twenty-three years ago)

What does it taste of then if not of the genus beer? What does beer taste of anyway - if we use it as a generic term to cover all hop/malt based brewing processes is there something that the wide range of flavours (before we even get into fruit beers) have in common what make them beery.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 09:24 (twenty-three years ago)

wee

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 09:58 (twenty-three years ago)

very wateryt wee at that

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 09:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know what wee tastes like. Enlighten me, wee drinker.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 10:49 (twenty-three years ago)

me to thread.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:13 (twenty-three years ago)

congratulations to di and to sean! quitting drinking is a huge deal, and it's unbelievable how much quickly your life can get better.

― dan (dan), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 15:26 (twenty-three years ago)

try some caffereys, then you will know.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 15:34 (twenty-three years ago)

hey so how are the ilx sober crew doing? i have managed a month, and i am still surprised by my willpower. i have been going out 1-2 times a week, hanging out with my friends who drink. and while i admit its very tempting, there are so many benefits to being sober. i'm still really motivated at school. i feel healthier. and i have more money to spend on records and music equipment. :-)

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 08:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Nice one Di - I really envy and admire you. I suspect after my holiday I may try something similar. Congrats again.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 10:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Di yr impressing the pants off me! I'm so happy for you, though you knew that already, thought I should appear on this thread to reiterate

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 10:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Caffreys is a decent enough standby if there's nothing promising on the menu, it's not great but then it's no way near as Ed suggests.

I'm going to have to come up with some new rules for myself and drinking, it's making me far too fat.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 10:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I drank a whole bottle of wee once, I was under the impression it was Heineken. I was 17, and it was the first time I got REALLY drunk, if that helps.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 10:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Same difference y'PUSSY

― Frank Booth (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 10:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Well done, Di! Keep it up!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 11:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't been quite as successful as you Di (well done!), but I've been pretty strict. No benders, no drunkeness at all, just a drink here n there, and while thats not what I'd planned, I feel better and its something I guess...

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 11:04 (twenty-three years ago)

o my.
i'm on holiday.
burp.

its nice to keep your balance though, and i bow to your control di.

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 11:16 (twenty-three years ago)

yay for di!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 11:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Di continues to roxor! :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 12:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Di I'm right there with ya! Over a month for me as well, and I don't even miss it. Going out to bars is so much better too; I know I'm not going to be acting like an idiot, and can actually enjoy myself. Plus feel better, have more money, etc.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 13:30 (twenty-three years ago)

No benders, no drunkeness at all, just a drink here n there

that in itself takes a heck of a lot of willpower, trayce, so onya! and fuckin A sean!

Di yr impressing the pants off me!

oh err where do i look? ;-)

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 19:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks Di! And wahoo Sean!

One thing I have totally given up and feel much better for is the dreaded weed. Two weeks without so much as even a sniff of someone else's and boy is my head clear.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 21:41 (twenty-three years ago)

i failed dismally due to lots of people coming to glasgow for the belle and sebastian concert, going to seville for the uefa cup final, and the general outcome of the "going to goal difference on the last day of the season" outcome of the SPL. but i have not made an arse of myself on any of these occasions, therefore i have a small victory of sorts.

but yay to di!

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Ailsa - yay for you! I think even if we have taken stock enough to clamp down and not lose the plot, we've done something good :)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay Trayce! Hurrah for us! (even thought i am typing this, drambuie in hand at 1.50 a.m.)

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:51 (twenty-three years ago)

but in my house, just killing time before bed I hasten to add, not in a bender type way, just in a relaxing "i can have a nightcap" way

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Eh, I had a cider last night. But I blame having to cope with my parents being in town ;P

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I think that people should not beat themselves up for drinking in moderation, or even binge-drinking once in a while (ie six-month intervals or something similar).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 01:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Granted. But i think beating yourself up for repetitive binge-drinking, to the point where you become an idiot, is what this thread is about.

Binging once in a while is fine, but there's a line to be crossed where it isn't acceptable anymore. That's when you need to re-assess.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 01:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, but among the folks giving up repetitive binge-drinking, there seems to be a theme of "Argh, I had a beer!" and I wanted to say that one beer is okay.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 01:53 (twenty-three years ago)

I really disagree, and I wrote and then deleted a long response... but basically Dan, you must not be an addict. Of course one beer is ok for regular folks. Being an alcoholic to me isn't about binging or having one or whatever, it's about your relationship to alcohol, how you use it, and how it affects you. Sure I might be able to drink one beer now and probably nothing would happen, but that's not the point.

― Sean (Sean), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks Dan, thats kinda how I've been trying to see it myself.

Sean, I do see where you're coming from, "problem drinking" can often be more about why one drinks - drinking to cope, relax etc - than regular drinking.

My personal reason for this was mostly to do with the "I'm not stopping at one or two, and I am too frequently getting smashed and being a moron" thing. Plus it was giving me gutaches.

Everything in moderation, as always.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 02:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought the entire point of addiction was that one was not enough, that it was a slippery slope into oblivion. I do not disagree that people who have found themselves incapable of having one drink and stopping should not have that one drink. I also understand that allowing yourself one drink can lead you right back into binge-drinking. I don't dispute any of that. My entire point was that if you can maintain control on the amount that you drink (whether that control is none at all or only one drink in an evening; obviously binge-drinking is not cool regardless of whether you have a drinking problem or not, and by "cool" I really mean "a good idea"), you've achieved something. One drink is not okay if it doesn't stay one drink.

Really, the whole thought was triggered by Trayce, who seemed to be putting herself down for drinking responsibly.

(Despite the X-post I'm submitting this anyway.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 02:18 (twenty-three years ago)

If you drink you might get drunk on a scooter like Dave Grohl did in Austalia. You don't want to look stupid, do you?

― Aja (aja), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 02:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I do not disagree that people who have found themselves incapable of having one drink and stopping should not have that one drink.

Good God. Was I trying to win an award for most negatives in a sentence?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 02:23 (twenty-three years ago)

There is no drinking responsibly if you're an addict (I'm not saying Trayce is). Even one drink a night is potentially too much depending on what your relationship to that one drink is. I would have never understood or agreed with this until I found it happening to me, and I don't expect you to either.

― Sean (Sean), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 02:26 (twenty-three years ago)

B-but Sean, I just said that I agreed with you!

Also, and it's a tangential point, but "one drink in an evening" != "one drink a night".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 02:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I agree with what Sean said. For some people, including me, 'one's too many and a thousand's never enough'. I've been sober for 12 years and there is no way I think I can have a beer now and then. I've known people who've died because they started thinking like that. Longterm controlled drinking is very difficult, seemingly unsustainable, for true alcoholics. Alcoholics might manage the one drink a night thing for a while but the day always comes when they go troppo. Abstinence is the easier option.

On the other hand, sometimes people are just in the habit of drinking too much, and a little moderation is all they need. Only an individual can know the truth about their own drinking. The best way for someone to learn their alcoholic status is to try controlled drinking and see how they go with it. I went very badly.

I love my sober life. I've been much happier than I ever anticipated.

― estela, Wednesday, 28 May 2003 02:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Well my controlled drinking is going fine so far, I think I just needed to stop using it out of boredom. But estela you have some very good points.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 06:39 (twenty-three years ago)

ailsa-beating yourself up for any amount or type of drinking is not going to help you to stay sober. What might help is to receive loving support from people who are going through it too, in an environment where you can be absolutely honest with yourself and others about your drinking and your character. What you and Di and Sean and Trayce are doing is extraordinary and heroic. But the four of you may need something stronger than your own heroism, and you're really really really allowed to ask for the support not just of ILx but of millions like you. 12 Step isn't the only game in town, and not everyone takes to it, but it's the program I know. There are no strings attached for walking into those rooms. And if those rooms don't work for you, search for support elsewhere. Some links:

U.K: www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

USA/Canada: www.alcoholics-anonymous.org

Australia: www.aa.org.au

All Others: here

― athey, Monday, 2 June 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I am absolutely honest with myself. Sometimes, more often than not, but not all the time, I am an asshole when I am drunk. I am more than capable of handling my drinking in certain situations, not in others. I have no intention of giving up alcohol totally, what I am giving up is overdoing it, and getting myself in the situations where I'm not handling it.

I am not beating myself up over it either any more. I nearly lost a lot this week, and it would have served me damn well right. I have support from my family, and I don't really feel a right to ask for it here.

And I don't want to go to AA meetings either. I can rationally assess the problem for myself, and I have come to the conclusion that I don't have to give up drinking, but I do have to give up drinking irresponsibly.

I realise I may have looked like I was beating myself up for having a night-cap, I wasn't. What I was trying to do is show that I can do responsible drinking, i.e. a quick Drambuie / Baileys etc in the evening, a couple of glasses of wine with a meal. I doubt it matters even a little to anyone whether I can or can't, but hey, it matters to me...I am not in denial either.

But anyway whatever reasons anyone has, and however they are tackling it, good luck. I'm doing my best not to be an idiot anymore (at least not as a result of drinking too much!) and I hope I can continue to do that, having come off the rails a bit. I have my support network, and I don't really want to talk about this on here any more I don't think.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 2 June 2003 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Atheist, just thought about that again, and realised that it may not have been directed at me, telling me to stay sober and stop beating myself up - rather, you may have been disagreeing with my rubbishly ill-advised point about people beating themselves up on thread (I thought it was the former, which was why I went ultra-defensive). So I now agree, beating oneself up isn't going to help (which is why I have stopped doing it). But that wasn't what I meant, I just agreed with Dan that people were beating themselves up on this thread and wanted to point out that I felt it was more against repetitive binge drinking rather than "oh woe is me, I had one beer".

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 2 June 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

shane mcgowan picture thread

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Monday, 2 June 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm very pleased for the people who haven't haven't been drinking.

I'm a proper alcoholic, but a dull one. I don't go on crazy binges. I've just been drinking constantly, but most of the time slowly, for the last five years. I mean, I get drunk and all. I get drunk every day. I've been drunk by the end of the night every day for the last five years (apart from maybe four or five days, out of the last two thousand). I'm drunk now.

Lots of times I enjoy drinking. It thrills me to have a drink. But, also, a lot of the time it's a tedious obligation. I wake up, and think, "Why bother drinking today?" I don't know why I bother. One time, recently, I was about to buy booze when I thought to myself, "But why? You don't even want a drink." Then the answer came: "That's all very well, but what else are you gonna do?"

I think that question is a trick. I think I just have to stop thinking like scum, go for a day without drinking, and I'll suddenly fill up with ideas for things to do, other reasons to live, other ends of my money.

I can't do that, but I like the idea that others can.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Monday, 2 June 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't think I could, I was terrified of 'what else I was gonna do' because the answer was nothing. I didn't even know what I liked to do (with some exceptions) because I had spent so long avoiding thinking about what I might like to do, what my interests were, who I was. I still don't have the answers, but I'm not as afraid to ask the questions. Quitting drinking didn't suddenly fill me with ideas, but it allowed me to pull my head out of the sand.

You can do it, Eyeball, but you have to imagine a life without it first, and be prepared to do a little work regaining lost ground. It's scary but it becomes less so.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

a little tonic idea to help y'all out:

(as seen at the herbal info center)
Milk thistle nutritionally supports the liver's ability to maintain normal liver function. It has shown positive effects in treating nearly every known form of liver disease, including cirrhosis, hepatitis, necroses, and liver damage due to drug and alcohol abuse. Milk thistle works due to its ability to inhibit the factors responsible for liver damage, coupled with the fact it stimulates production of new liver cells to replace old damaged ones.

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 12 June 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i cannot play in public without beer. its as simple as that. the nerves are more than i can bear otherwise. but i can still keep it moderate. i have a formula to get me through: 1 beer before i play, 1 beer while on stage, 1 beer afterwards. at all other times i won't drink. unless anyone can recommend to me cheap and effective ways of combatting my nervous problem.

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 22 June 2003 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You could try this but it will take a little while. Its supposed to work for whatever ails you, be it addiction or social problems, even if it sounds absurd, although I guess some suspension of disbelief might be required for it to work.

― scaredy cat, Sunday, 22 June 2003 02:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Di, if you can stick with your rules, that seems fine - beer itself isn't an evil thing, it's addiction and inability to cope and not enjoying it that is the problem. Three beers on gig nights won't harm you, though only you know whether it will stop there or if that will make it harder to be disciplined at other times. Whatever, good luck!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 22 June 2003 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Good luck with this Di. I fear I couldn't do it myself. As Martin said, if you can stick to your rules of 3 beers, then I say do it. If you are finding it increasing difficult to limit then cut them out. With regards to helping your nerves, I wish I could help more, but sadly I cant.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Sunday, 22 June 2003 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

take junk

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Sunday, 22 June 2003 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Di you've been doing great, I think a few beers for dutch courage now and then is fine :)

As for me, I appear to have dropped of this particular wagon in a big way, thanks to having a new boyfriend and finding myself spending an entire weekend indoors smoking, drinking and watching DVDs.

I feel like the inside of an ashtray now ugh! Time for a break again.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 22 June 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

dropped of= dropped off. I cant type.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 22 June 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I'm happy to say I *still* haven't had a drink; even though I did do something else this weekend... sometimes I just can't face reality.

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 23 June 2003 00:47 (twenty-two years ago)

thats okay sean, i don't think its cheating. good going. thanks again to everyone for the encouragement.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay Di! Not drinking is a good thing.

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 23 June 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I'm too bad of an alcoholic, but I do have to watch my blood sugar. I'm ridiculously hypoglycemic, and hyperactive on top of that, and I react very badly to sugar or the lack of carbs, and drinking exacerbates this. I easily get moody, pissy, unreasonable, tired, etc etc etc. (Read some of my former posts for evidence.) So when I started in on the vodka last night with only a thin homemade turkey sandwich in my stomach, I ended up DESTROYED. I had maybe four drinks, which isn't much considering my tolerance, and nearly blacked out. I had a vicious hangover all day today. And all of this is more due to my blood sugar than it is to the alcohol itself. Gotta watch that shit.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 23 June 2003 05:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Sherbert Herbert I am a Chinaman and I am poisoning you! You don't know.

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 23 June 2003 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

You could at least find something that rhymes with my actual last name.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 23 June 2003 05:20 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, I never thought about blood sugar being a cause of bad drunkenness/bad hangovers. It may explain so much...

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 June 2003 06:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Di, your nervousness before you play a gig is very endearing. You should be nervous all the time, you make it look good!

Evryone, you should have seen her and Duane play! They were great!

― rainy (rainy), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan is yr name like Hey-bear?

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:06 (twenty-two years ago)

'cause in new zealand we pronounce sherbet "shay-bear"

― duane, Monday, 23 June 2003 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

hey thanks rainy!

― duane, Monday, 23 June 2003 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

the ITs shd come to Melborune

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Rainy you're here! That is brilliant.

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i wish i could see di and duane play. Di is hot. :(

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:24 (twenty-two years ago)

They could come to Auckland first, that'd be great!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

It's true that Di is hot, but have you seen Duane's fighting cat act?

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"act"?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i dunno? don't drink?

― doom-e, Monday, 23 June 2003 07:58 (twenty-two years ago)

duane we need to rob a bank so we can tour the world and give everyone a piece of us. then andrew and elisabeth can have my boobs, since my boobs are called elisabeth and andrew. ddg can have my teeth and jim, you get both my eyeballs.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

man its great to see maryann and rainy on old ilx again.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

ooh eyeballs

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought about just giving you all a lock of my hair, but that would be creepy.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

for you or us?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

INGRATE!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

would you like a CD instead? we do a rip-roaring cover of "its only love", by bryan adams!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah cd swop! do you want a t'boat cd?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

yes please!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

dear everyone else i have promised CDs to ie jel, sarah, ned, i have not forgotten, and the covers are getting made today so they will be in the post v soon!

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay yay! :-) Di, if you like -- send me an extra copy (and I will pay for it natch) and I will get that to the AMG so the cover and all the details can get in there. Er, if it's a 'professional' CD -- they're leery of adding CDR only releases.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

:-( it is CDR.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Hm! Well, I will at least get a review in if I can, but getting a full entry with cover etc. might be out of the question for now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:55 (twenty-two years ago)

ned, you are too kind to me!

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

:-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan is yr name like Hey-bear?

Ay-bear. All French-like. Cajun, if you must know. Or less charitably, coon-ass.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I know a Marc Hebert.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a cajun musician named Adam Hebert, which might be why I assumed the pronunciation and origins were as you now confirm.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I am trying to go one day without drinking & that day is today. This will not impress anybody but me, but if I give in during the few hours left before bedtime I will still deserve a spanking.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought about just giving you all a lock of my hair, but that would be creepy

i'm letting you off easy! i was gonna ask for the whole wig!

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

(p.s., i'll settle for a copy of yr soon-to-be-classic lp)

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

eleven months pass...

Hey ex-drinkers! Are you stil ex-drinkers? Was it easy?

Hope so. Any tips?

― Ttotal, Wednesday, 9 June 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

just don't say yes?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

have a drink, no one likes a quitter

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I have loads of tips. I'm on a not-drinking binge at the moment myself. But... erm... I'm tired and don't feel like typing it all out right now.

― Possibly Kate Again (kate), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not easy at first but for me it's much easier than drinking was. write me if you want to discuss it.

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

nearing the three-week mark again. i'm glad i remembered this thread, rereading it is encouraging.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

hi di! i am not following ilx's advice AT ALL, but god bless you and all nz.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The only thing that has ever worked for me is just avoiding drinking situations completely (n/a if you enjoy drinking privately or alone). I'm closing in on a couple of years (mostly) sober, so it's worked thus far. Much love to people with the willpower to be around booze and abstain, I am mightily impressed.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate this thread, it reminds me how crap I am at this!

I had an ultrasound the other day, as Ive been having side pains and tiredness they think could be gallstones or a liver thing. The blood tests came back ok but with raised enzyme levels due to alcohol (or it could be due to paracetamol abuse too - thats a whole other story Im sure some of you know about). Im back to regular drinking but I dont get SMASHED anymore, and I dont touch weed at all, which is great. I dunno... Im very aware of it and do what I can to minimise damage (day on, day off drinks, lots of water and milkthistle supplements). It isnt easy, and I hate that.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 26 June 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

trayce, don't feel like you are crap for not being able to stay off booze. its really hard to do, as so many people here can attest.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 26 June 2004 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

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