Best and worst pubs you've ever been to

several in Brighton i like but forget the names of or are nice but not really anything to shout about (The Sun, The Fishbowl)

worst = every pub i've been to in London ever (only about 20 in all honesty)

Although the tree and its Tardis-esque dimensions are very entertaining.

My current favourite exeter pub = the Locomotive but I realise I have (ahem) rarefied tastes.

Best pubs: I have a soft spot for the Blue Posts (north of Oxford Street one) and I went to The Hollybush in Hampsted for the first time last Saturday and that was lovely. I also noninate (aw) my dad's pub, The Coalbrookedale Inn in Ironbridge. It's a proper country pub with big open fires and lot's of real ale. I also half grew up there, so I'm biased.

in that you're half grown up?

the hollybush is prob my favourite london pub. i'm quite fond of most of the sam smiths ones, too.

even this one?

http://www.norfolkwindmills.com/images/vermuyden.JPG

Er seriously though it was a dump, I don't like underground places which are lit with just normal lights. Yellow.

Runners up The Grapes in Limehouse, for its tiny balcony over the thames, and The Trafalgar in Douglas on the Isle of Man, for its great landlord (who let us kip on the floor after his new years eve bash this year so we could get up in time for the boat, he also drove most of his punter home after the NYE thing), good beer, good live music and free jukebox.

Worst pub, I don't like Sam Smith's or Wetherspoons' Houses, but I'm not wure what I'd nominate as worst pub. I'll have to think about it.

The fat cat is usually full of CAMRA bores, but the beer is good, not as good as the frog and parrot used to be though, back in the day.

Holloway Road has now been much improved by the arrival of The Swimmer (Eburne Road, just behind the McDonalds on Seven Sisters road).The Lord John Russell is a lovely mid-afternoon boozer too, it gets a bit packed late doors. Hemingford Arms off the Cally is a lovely local too, if you live near it.

Another plus point about the genuinely great Holly Bush is that I always bump into old mates there. There's lovely.

Pete, do you live near there? I used to go all the time.

I'm a software not hardware man when it comes to the pub experience though so have happy memories of some really quite soulless boozers.

Ed, back around 1990 the Frog and parrot was a fantastic pub, with real frogs and yer actual parrot. and bitty scrumpy.

Yes to the swimmer, and the approach (though the approach less so, due to large number of finned haircuts)

The Royal oak on Chatsworth road in Chesterfield is a marvellous pub.

There are loads of little ones in the peak district that are great in a "stay on the path" sort of way.

The thing that irritated me the most was the attitude of the people running the place. A really cynical, 'pack 'em in and then treat them like shit because we know they'll keep on coming here' attitude. Why people are happy to cram themselves into a place like that I find it hard to understand.

Having said that, I've not been there for years as it was so rubbish last time.

Now I live in Crouch End which has no great boozers but plenty of okay ones (the Haringey Arms is slowly going up in my estimations though). I still drift through Turnpike Lane on the way to the cinema.

The Trafalgar Tavern, Greenwich - Big old pub right overlooking the river with plush seats and jazz musicians. Full of tourists, but it's worth it to sit outside and drink by the river in the sun.

Simple Simons, Canterbury - Ancient but gorgeous looking hey-nonny-nonny old English pub. If you spill beer in the upstairs room with the sloping floor it drips down onto the heads of punters downstairs. Plus it has a real fire and, occasionally, a bloke playing Velvet Underground covers using a hurdy-gurdy. He's like the oldest Dirty Dronerock Boy ever.

Dacre Arms, Lewisham - Hidden away on the backstreets between Lewisham and Blackheath that even a lot of locals aren't aware of. Friendly old mens pub with the same regulars who've been drinking there for 30 years, and Queen Vic-esque decor. And a dog. More pubs should have a dog. It used to be twenty seconds walk from my house... *sniff*

The Old City Bar, Canterbury - It has grebt beer, a nice beer garden, attractive and friendly bar staff, a bar billiards table, two screens showing different football matches and a dog. Making it officially the best pub ever.

And NO Central London pubs.

1) it was the opening night under new management and when we arrived the woman behind the bar said to her colleagues "right I suppose I'd better teach you how to pour a drink then"

2) as soon as we walked in, somebody glared and said "fucking students", which we weren't

3) there was a toilet seat nailed to the wall, framing a picture of a large shit with the caption "turd of the week" underneath. this was in the bar, not the toilet.

4) the tattoos on the clientele. bulldogs for the men, teardrops and garfields for the women.

5) there was a free barbecue! featuring botulism on a bap

6) we left before the firework display as we were worried that it might involve burning a non-white person

The worst pub I have ever, ever been in apart from the Turks Head is the one near the pier in Portsmouth. It has a kiddies play area and sells Babycham.

But really, the old punk stronghold The Tavern in New Cross was the one. A late night drinking dive frequented by every biker, ageing punk, loon, pusher, and gangster in South London at some time or another, the place was exhilarating, scary, cheap and just so much fun. The pool-room at the front was like a Gladiatorial arena where it was names on the board or a pool cue to the face. I’ve been in there playing with the whole place cheering and it’s just incredible, like every shot is just monumental. Honestly, the place was like something out of a movie – with a backroom with a few battered tables, then a back dancefloor area with a stage, a monster sound system, a decent light rig and a DJ booth decked in camouflage nets. I never saw that room in full light – it was always a near pitch black seared only by beams of laser lights while pumping Ska or drum and bass steamed from rickety speaker stacks. Oh, there was an outside area too, right out back, in the summer they opened it up and had like a huge BBQ, with like what looked like a whole pig on a spit. The barmaids had more piercings than a Jim Rose performer, one of the barmen was the most tattooed person I have ever seen and there was a glass collector, who sold trips on the side, named Animal. The bouncers were huge hulking beasts and I have seen them kick the fuck out of people for no conceivable reason – not that this is a reason to cheer but it certainly contributed to the buzz of the place, knowing that it could go off hard any second. There were a host of regular characters who populated the place, including an ageing fucko pool hustler called Brian who always used to change the rules when it suited him and played so fucking slow it took an age to beat him off the table, a chap who just lurked all night who we referred to as the Colombian, another big bloke who just propped the back room bar up all night who we just knew as ‘Don’… Ah, it was beautiful down there.

Anyway...

The Approach up Bethnal Green way is also good for beer, food and the backroom often has some decent art on the walls.

The Dove in London Fields is also really worth a look not just for the huge variety of Belgian beer but it also does amazing food, check it out on a weekday night though cos on the wkend it gets fucking rammed.

The worst pub is obviously ANY Wetherspoons.

INSIDE THE PUB!

The room with the big stage at the back WAS ace though. Also, the Half Moon in Herne Hill has a fantastic live music room at the back - if it was in North London it'd be a regular on the toilet circuit.

I note The Seven Stars won the Time Out Pub Of The Year - which is a nice pub (though I wanted the Swimmer to win being localish). In the end though its generally too rammed to enjoy - this being the curse of the central London pub.

Nooooohhh!!! I will not have that. London pubs can often be piss-poor for bitter but you know that if you walk into a Wetherspoons you get a choice of half a dozen, well-kept beers for about £1.50 a pint.

Some of them are a bit crappy, but I really like the Rochester Castle in Stoke Newington.

And the better Wetherspoons are relatively chilled-out.

The Hen and Chickens across the road is marvellous, though, and has a theatre upstairs. Pubs with theatres - classic or dud?

the one in wimbledon is the most horrific one ever though. not only for the way the bouncers open all the doors at half past ten in the middle of january and glare at you until you leave. also it's filthy, the tables are never cleared, the beer is consistently rank and the barstaff never know who to serve next

but on the other hand it is cheap and full of totty

(High Street, not Church Street.)

i mean, up until that point, i hadn't eaten meat for 10+ years. it was totally traumatizing. and the no apology thing is what *really* got to me. grrrrr.

of course, i could've made a scene, but by then i was just way too upset, and just wanted to go home.

The scene:

Private school boys/first year commerce knobs with their ralph lauren polos and collars turned just so.

Bottle blondes and their clones.

Warm pots with watered down VB.

for a great nite out, avoid like the plague.

worst: there are lots to choose from, but the Wetherspoons in Wood Green (the one in the High Road by the multiplex cinema, Nandos, ect ect) is particularly bad. It's just so huge and uninviting.

The Grandpont Arms, off Abingdon Road is prolly the worst Oxford locals' pub.

you're talking about what was the King's Head.

it is now a wanktastic wine bar called Swintons, and is pretty much unrecognisable. but you do get free mini cheddars.

*Cue Gareth/Ewing/Baran "that sounds brilliant" comments*

...actually the idea of Frank Butcherlikes doing karaoke Sinatra sounds rather fun!

my fave local-ish pub is the vine on highgate rd, it's got a nice lay-out, seems relatively undiscovered so it never gets too packed, the staff are lovely, the drinks selection is great, the food is yummy.....it's got everything the st johns (on junction rd) lacks - used to go to the st johns a lot but now it creeps me out because everyone in there is THE SAME, it's like stepford-media-couples!

i also like the edinburgh castle, off the top of parkway, in the summer, the trafalgar in greenwich, and of course, the holly bush in hampstead!

Not that I'm knocking the place - I've never been. Come to think of it, I've never been to Hampstead.

The St John is a funny one. I've never really liked it, mainly the the reasons you identify above.

walthamstow

Clearly not the Billet in Clapton, then.

And there ain't no pub there no more, erm, guv.

Greenford - Red Lion
Tooting - Mitre
Mitcham - Cricketers
Northolt - Target
Brentwood - Robin Hood and Little John
Leytonstone - Green Man
Croydon - Swan and Sugar Loaf

I did a review for Publog of the worst evah - in Wakefield:

The Elephant and Castle, Wakefield - Situated opposite Wakefield Westgate station, it looked a like a dream. Station pubs are often crackers (The Swan and Railway near both Wigan stations is a favourite), and this looked magnificent. Imagine a Leslie Green tube station with brown exterior tiling instead of oxblood and you'll have the idea.

But wait - a man stumbles out looking and acting like the father in 'Rita, Sue, and Bob too'. Apprehension. The three police horses and van outside aren't a good sign either. Ah, here comes a middle aged respectable couple exiting as they begin a civil Saturday night around town. And so we enter.

Which was a mistake. To use the vernacular, the place was a khazi. It had for some god-forsaken reason, been renovated.There was a lovely reconditioned ceiling design, which was helpful, as looking up was a good idea so as to not make eye contact. In case I was engaged in conversation, I pondered where to declare myself from. Saying London might incite resentment, whilst the true answer (Manchester) might re-awaken Wars of the Roses sentiments, so decided that if asked, I would say 'Workington' since whilst Cumbria is resolutely northern, the far coast of that county is so remote as to mean that they have no rivalries in far-flung places like Yorkshire, mainly as most people don't know where it is. But then there's always Rugby League emnities...

Luckily, it wasn't needed. The man nearest looked like he'd wiped his bum on his grey jumper, but I didn't dare use to toilets to find out whether there was a shortage of paper. The dominoes were set up, which I took as a good sign, but it wasn't too last. A party arrived who were beginning their Saturday night fun, and the banter started. I can't honestly remember what comment preceded this particular gem, but when one woman opined that 'I'll tell you who says so, my fucking cunt says so', we thought we should make like Sunday newspaper reporters and make out excuses and leave.

This place is amazingly also residential.

Worst: any of the dodgy football pubs along Easter Road. Almost every pub in Grimsby.

I have to admit to never having been in any pubs in Goole, though; I don't think I'd dare. They're probably even worse than the Grimsby ones.

mmmm John Willie Lees. Or as I will always know it from now - Fighting bitter

Worst - Wetherspoons, Highgate Village
It's truly dreadful. I can't describe how awful it is.

The last great pub I frequented was Mama Illio's in Catania, Sicily. Great food at cheap prices with an outstanding group of hot waitresses.

The Evening Star probably comes out on top now if just for the sublime own brewed beers on sale, but the occasional live folk band grates, they do have a quite wide playlist at other times though.

Worst. So, so many. 50% of UK pubs really do suck arse, make that figure 95% in Ipswich where I grew up/

My girlfriend and I liked the Quadrant so much that we bought one of the tables for 15 quid from the landlord when they sold everything offf and it now sits in our garden! He offered to chuck in some stools as well, but I don't think fabric covered ones would weather quite as well!

Best = Empress (obv.)

mmm fish flavour crisps. A good pub will have wither pork scratching or cockles in vinegar but hardly ever both.

MDC: the Montagu(e) is outside all considerations of quality.

Chris: was there never an actual proper Manor House up there then?

the ten bells, in spitalfields

i think its pretty good. they do bombardier, and make it taste like a sort of dishwater. nevertheless, i feel it could double up as both a 10am postrave pub, and a civilised tuesday evening pub

sometimes i get heavily nostalgic for the london faps of 2-3 years ago.

It's open at the weekends too, just keep an eye out for the odd Ripper tour or two.

Rippers?

I'm slightly astonished that there are connoisseurs of pubs.

But that, wonderful as it was, was a bar, not a pub!

(cue endless discussion, of course)

wenlock arms is being demolished in 2 weeks appara :((((((((((((((((((

tragedy

the vale in dulwich was a beaut!

i love these stories ppl have abt going to obviously terrible pubs in crap areas and finding them full of psychos etc (surprise)

wenlock arms is being demolished in 2 weeks appara :((((((((((((((((((

God speed your huge range of ales and your massive chunky black pudding sandwiches.

i totally do not get why people love that place so much.

Sobering footage from The Sportsman pub in Nechells, Birmingham

the floor in the Wenlock is a thing to behold. can't tell if it's black laminate flooring or old carpet glacially impacted with decades of pub grime, lung-butter and human grease.

i totally do not get why people love that place so much.

― لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 September 2010 13:21 (4 hours ago)

haha just realised i should totally start a camra for uk funky