Birth Control: Advice and Anecdotes

After that I went for an IUD and the gyney managed to shove it through the back of my uterus which was the most painful and unpleasant thing I've ever experienced.

The pill makes me a totally grumpy bitch.

Depo-provera made me gain humungous weight.

Condoms are very unpleasant in sensation - I'd rather just not bother with sex than do it with a condom, and I'm often allergic to the lubricant.

My periods are somewhat irregular so rhythm method is not reliable.

I opt for him withdrawing and avoiding penetration except for just before & after, or during, my period - times when it's pretty much safe.

Ned, vasectomy and prostate cancer don't really have a correlation. Or at the very most a very tiny higher risk.

OK so should I be as appalled by everything in this "article" as I or should I just shrug it off as a desperate attempt to get a rise out of people? Because right now I'm not really sure how to feel but my initial reaction is just complete dumbfoundedness and rage. How can one dumb bitch be so fucking, well, idiotic? I know she's written in the past about some mental health issues so perhaps that's to blame but there is so so much about this article that makes my blood boil. Jesus Christ. I don't even know. I shouldn't even read this dumb website but, what can I say? It's a slowwwwwwwwwwww afternoon.

http://www.xojane.com/healthy/get-it-together-girls-every-goddamn-pharmacy-new-york-out-plan-b-every-one

I feel bad about calling her a dumb bitch btw but seriously.

Also I've heard shit like this before but from 15 year olds not late 20somethings who should fucking know better. Also what's with all the ppl backing her up in the comments. No, this woman is not cool - she's a mentally unstable fucktard who is putting her own life and that of her sexual partners in danger repeatedly. How anyone can be so cavalier and irresponsible about this sort of thing is fucking beyond me. Yes, I realize I'm coming from a different perspective than most but still. Gross.

Also way to give stupid pro-life yahoos some serious goldmine level material you moron. Ugh.

I couldn't even read that

Be glad. I just finished the comments. People are fucking idiots.

"Cat. I fucking love you and I loved this article.

Also, I always use condoms and I have one very, very good reason why: after sex, I want to roll over and fall asleep. I do not want have to clean out my love sheath afterwards. (THAT'S RIGHT I CALLED IT THAT.) He can take care of the filthy business while I'm knocked out in bed.

And I am the only girl on the planet who has never had a boy say anything about this. I'm like, "hooray! sexy time! WRAP IT UP!" And they never protest because I'm young and I'm hot and they want it. Also, because I ma one terrifying, badass bitch. I give 'em the crazy eyes and hand over my flowered cosmetics bag filled with flavored an dlubed and ribbed bag o' rubbers."

^^^^

Everything about this commenter makes her sound like she's the most obnoxious person on the planet.

what the hell

Her love sheath, Dan, her love sheath.

There's this whole group of women on the internet that talk in ways . . . shit I don't really know how to phrase this. I might have to think about it first for a bit before I say something I'll regret. Stay tuned.

Ugh and if one more poster says "stop being judgy" I'm going to scream. A) THAT'S NOT A FUCKING WORD. B) You know what? No, I'm not perfect. Yes I've had unprotected sex. Yes, I've even taken the morning after pill before this whole OTC Plan B thing when I had to go to a doctor and request it. Twice, in fact. So I'm not judging any of those things in and of themselves. I'm judging this gd airhead and her stupid selfish choices and the little groupies that are hanging on her . . . .

OK wait. I actually don't care that much about these dumbos and am getting too worked up. Deep breaths.

^ oh, I meant in the comments not a poster here, obv :)

That person is a terrible person.

I just keep imagining her looking at a jumbo pipe cleaner and going "TIME FOR A CLEANING"

x-post Seriously. And I'm judging her for it. Guh.

x-post - oh lord, dan!

Oh there's a part in the comments where she's like I don't use condoms but it's ok cause I get my blood tested regularly. I love blood tests. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

._.

The thing that's the most gross is HOW gross she says it is to talk (or think!) about birth control! and periods! and spotting! and being fat DOUBLE MEGA GROSS! Are you a 15-yo boy because if "no" then get over it.

Yowch yeah there is some amt of self-harm in taking risks like that (w/r/t the blood test comment), probably most of us know the feeling even if it's in regards to something other than sexuality. But she's risking the lives of a lot of other partners and their partners and their partners, not just her own.

Yeah and otm about everything you said. The comments were loading too slowly for me so I can't actually read them all but I think in another part she does say some stuff that makes me think that she really is totally clueless about some pretty basic safer sex stuff but still. The whole thing is just mind-blowingly offensive in a lot of ways. The other posters didn't help (though there were a couple sound ones).

I mean willful self-harm, when you are like, I'm nothing special, and no one who'll miss me won't get over it in about 6 months, I think I'll express my self-pity by doing this self-abnegating thing and take a chance at unmaking myself, sounds like a good time let's go. Which is...also p gross, as a human reaction to loneliness and lyfe. It's gross, but that's being human and stupid for you. But it shouldn't also potentially harm umpteen other people.

No, I know what you meant. I think that's definitely a part of it esp since I know from reading some of her other things (don't judge! and, yes, she's always pretty dumb) that she's had some p serious MH issues. That's the only thing that gives me slight pause in terms of this because neglecting self-care can be a sign of several MH issues and taking risks like that is sort of an extension like that. On the other hand she also often comes across as a spoiled trust fund baby who uses MH issues as a crutch to avoid, you know, actually being an adult. I hate to accuse someone of that but that really is how she portrays herself a lot of the time.

willful self-harm = reading the comments

lol you're not lying

I felt really sick when I took the morning-after pill and ALSO there was a piano-stops-in-saloon moment when I asked for it and the counter girl repeated my question very loudly, echoing through the now-silent pharmacy, so deliberate, regular usage is kind of wtf to me

(perhaps I can now cause the same deafening silence in this thread by mentioning it)

also I was trying not to be judgy but then I got to the complete lack of any reasons not to use condoms except "tee hee hee, what?" and, uh, if that's all you've got then you really need to stop being all "ladies, here's how to live!" on the internet, now

oh shit, I hadn't even read her concluding paragraph when I wrote that, now I am judging more ferociously

I mean fifty bucks is food for like 7 days, this is among other things an egregious quiddities-worthy article if it were possible to take it seriously AT ALL.

Wait. This is xojane's HEALTH EDITOR? Gah.

Three times in one month! What a waste of money, for starters.

complete lack of any reasons not to use condoms except "tee hee hee, what?" and, uh, if that's all you've got then you really need to stop being all "ladies, here's how to live!" on the internet, now

otm
i was reading that atlantic marriage article today, & caught the bit about some historical russian government making it illegal to perpetuate the stigma against childbearing out of wedlock. loudly discouraging contraceptive use is just the worst, imo, in terms of shuffling your chips into the 'making human life worse' pile. like obviously we should be able to talk about these things but it's such an important area, about which you should be conscious of what you're sending out, keeping the big picture in mind, conscious of your good fortune at having had an error-free experience of contraceptive usage, etc.

Agreed.

Also PSC otm about EC not being a piece of cake for everyone to take. It's basically high dosage BC which in normal doses can be difficult for some women to take. If you can't keep it down and puke within a certain number of hours after taking it you have to take it again. It just strikes me as really irresponsible to write/publish this article where even though she's sort of implicating herself in the irresponsible behavior she's doing so in a way where it comes off as, "Whoops, no biggie!" etc.

holy fucking article. i don't believe it is real, or written by somebody in their right mind. because, uh, wtf?

this is probably a dumb question, but isn't plan b just the same as a double-dosage of birth control pills?

Yeah, it is. Before it was approved for packaging specifically as Emergency Contraception, it was just prescribed off label in a high dose.

not that i give credence to anything this loon says, but if 3x plan Bs = $150, and birth control is +/- $15/mo for 21 (effective pills), she's paying roughly 35x more than necessary per dosage unit, and braving crazy system hormone dumps so that she doesn't have to worry about ... spotting? bad skin? argle bargle.

remy, you forgot that the pill will make her fat. Can't have that.

Which, by the way, is a myth. The average person does not actually gain any weight when taking most OCPs.

But, yes, God forbid!

You know what else makes you fat? Pregnancy.

lol

GOOD POINT

I just reread the section on why she can't/won't take the Pill and....

NO. They will make me fat; they will make me "spot" (another thing I squeamishly just DON'T LIKE TALKING ABOUT; don't worry, though, everyone else who works here does); they will give me acne; and quite frankly, they will NOT prevent me from getting pregnant! I know this because IT HAPPENED TO ME™.

No, I didn't take my pills right; I forget things like this unless they are FUN pills, or what I BELIEVE, delusionally, to be a "fun" pill at the time; anyway, the point is, unless a pill gets me speedy or doped up as all hell I will NOT remember to take it, and then I will get pregnant! I JUST WILL. (IHTM™.)

aren't birth control pills supposed to help clear your skin? hormonal regulation and all that.

I believe that certain kinds (the tri-phasal ones like Ortho Tri-Cyclen iirc but maybe others too) can help improve skin but not all.

Any bcp that contains estrogen has the potential to help with acne. This has been a known side effect since pills came on the market. Orthotricyclin was the only pill that conducted post-market clinical trials in the 90s to assess its effects on acne, therefore they are the only pill "proven" to diminish acne and they're the only pill that can legally make those claims (even though they all do).

So basically only the mini-pill wouldn't?

I knew sooo many girls in HS who got prescribed birth control pills "for acne," sorry to sound snide.

Yeah, it's traditionally what you told your practitioner if you didn't want them to know you were boning.
xp to Erica: Correct. Progesterone only pills and depo both include acne in their side-effect profile.

haha yes exactly

Ms Laura

wow

is it really that hard to use a condom?

I like how she makes it sound peachy keen that she's having unprotected sex, because she's not sleeping with "that many people" - HELLO, THOSE PEOPLE MIGHT BE FUCKING A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE, dum dum.

omg. I cramped up just reading that she took it THREEE TIMES IN A MONTH. Holy fuck.

It's like all of the good informed women's health/sex education just got wiped out and THIS is what we're left with. I wanna cry.

no, she's just a crazy person.

Miscellaneous ramblings.....

Because becoming a dad would scare the bezeejus out of me and because I can't be too cautious, I bought a box of Plan B (I just inadvertently wrote Plan 9 then corrected myself, lolling out loud) when they became available w/o a prescription in the US about 4 years ago - and I'm a guy. The non-prescription availability of Plan B marked the first time men could legally obtain it, and I wanted some around in case of accident. And yes, it was hard to find - the nearby pharmacies were often out of stock. When it finally showed up, it was a steep $50 for two pills. I still have them; they're near expiry date though. Not an expert on these things but thought the dosage was *much* higher than twice that of a typical contraceptive pill.

I've usually used condoms throughout my life. Yes, I can still get free ones from a few sources, like a nearby nonprofit food co-op that gives them away. But all the free ones I've seen are cheap ones; - good, thin, high-sensation condoms will cost you but are worth paying for IMO (not covered by insurance, although hormonal b/c is. Not fair!

Nonoxynol-9 spermicide seems like a great idea but isn't; I can't stand the stuff. Condoms pre-lubed with N9 feel slimy, have a stench you can smell from across the bed, have a short lifespan before they expire, and doesn't prevent pregnancy or STDs any better than condoms without it. (Note - it may work better on sponges and other female barrier type devices).

Anyway, I'm on the male birth control pill. What, you didn't know there was such a thing? Neither did I until I was prescribed tamsulosin for BPH (enlarged prostate), and I've since asked my doctor why this med isn't seriously being considered as a male contraceptive. It turns out it is, as is a similar drug silodosin, which has proven even more effective (as noted in this Wikipedia article under "pharmacology", in one study of 15 men it yielded a 100% success rate as a male contraceptive). Why isn't this getting more attention? I investigated getting a vasectomy about 12 years ago, even changed health plans to one that would cover most of the procedure, but then became squeamish at the though of scalpels and/or pinching in my nether regions, and know just enough people who've had complications from this surgery to pass on it at the time. But I also recall hearing and reading that an FDA-approved male BC pill was just around the corner, so decided I preferred pills to surgery. I'm still waiting....

Nonoxynol-9 spermicide seems like a great idea but isn't; I can't stand the stuff. Condoms pre-lubed with N9 feel slimy, have a stench you can smell from across the bed, have a short lifespan before they expire, and doesn't prevent pregnancy or STDs any better than condoms without it. (Note - it may work better on sponges and other female barrier type devices).

whats worse is that sometimes the stuff gets inside your peehole. that's really what sucks about it. no doubt about it.

Not an expert on these things but thought the dosage was *much* higher than twice that of a typical contraceptive pill.

A doc recently told me it was more like 8x! Or something?!

Err it doesn't really matter, does it? FWIW I think there are several different pills that can be used in varying doeses to achieve the same effect so I don't know if you can say it's 2x or 8x or whatever. Sometimes the patient is given one pill to take once and that's it. Other times it's one pill initially and another one 12 hours later whereas sometimes the two pills can be taken at the same time. It just depends on which specific pill and dosage the Dr. prescribes. It's just taking a whole lot of the same hormones used in reg BC at once instead of as normally used in smaller does spread out over the month. The point is that it's harsh on the stomachs and can cause other symptoms for a percentage of the women who take it.

That said, it doesn't always. Personally I felt absolutely nothing - no nausea, no cramping, nada the couple times I took it. I lucked out, I guess.

FB status update from skeevy acquaintance : Tonsils are the most effective form of birth control.

wtf? Is that not clever or very funny blowjob reference?

I hope so, because every other image conjured by that is too horrible to contemplate

IUT

I investigated getting a vasectomy about 12 years ago, even changed health plans to one that would cover most of the procedure, but then became squeamish at the though of scalpels and/or pinching in my nether regions, and know just enough people who've had complications from this surgery to pass on it at the time

fwiw mine was pretty much complication-free, wish i'd done it years ago

I can't say mine was fun or anything, but it went smoothly and I was back at work the next day. Apparently some guys think it reduces libido? Not true.

My husband had his thirty years ago, and trust me, his libido is not a problem.

Copper T: c/d? It is the only form of birth control the public health department can give me, since all the hormonal options are contraindicated with some of my other prescription meds. (They said an MD might be able to make the call to prescribe something else, but since they are government-funded/nurse practioners, they have to follow strict protocols.) I actually do like the idea of not needing to worry about taking anything & not screwing with my hormones, since I feel like they're already crazy, but I'm paranoid about it being irritating. And I don't really like the idea that it basically inflames your uterus. Isn't inflammation sort of undesirable and toxic? I also have autoimmune issues already.

I was thinking about this a few years ago but I think they can make periods heavier and more painful - mine are already pretty horrible, I dreaded having then get worse.

I LOOOOOORVE MY COPPER T. Just saying. It did make my periods heavier and, paradoxically, more watery and leakier? For a while. Maybe like a year. I became one of those "let me check my tampon every hour" people for the first time in my entire life. But it abates eventually and the little angels are good for up to 10 years so I think it's worth it.

Can't really speak to the inflammation issues as I don't know THAT much about it.

I have so much to say about this!!! But my computer is broken and can't type it all out on my phone. Will write more tomorrow. Long story short - I fucking loved mine.

I have a Mirena and <3 <3 <3

I can't do mirena due to the hormones. I had nuvaring for a bit & loved it, but that was before I started other medications. Also tried.ortho-tricyclen when I first became sexually active & hated it.

I feel like if hormonal bc is not for you and given that barrier methods kind of suck and have failure rates that you don't want to mess with (given imperfect use), go with copper unless it makes your periods unbearable. Once you adjust it's completely carefree, you do nothing with it or for it, it's just magical.

i got my mirena today! i expected it to hurt more than it did, but i took 800mg of ibuprofen and a xanax beforehand. the pain was "biting my lip" bad, but not "screaming and passing out" bad. some cramping now, for which i've just popped a couple midol.

i think the next step after the five years are up will be tubal ligation, if i can find a doctor who'll do it.

welcome to the sisterhood!

where are my traveling pants?

I keep wanting to get mine, but the timing isn't working out. The health dept says the have to examine me 2 weeks prior & they'll only put it in during my period. Well, that is fine, except my period is completely unpredictable!

OK, so what's the deal with Mirena being officially recommended only for women who have previously had children? The prescribing information given to doctors by the manufacturer states "it is recommended for women who have had at least one child", and under the heading "Who might use Mirena?" again lists "have had at least one child" as one of five qualifiers for prospective users. But it stops short of specifically suggesting "do not use Mirena if you have never been pregnant", and the "who should not use Mirena?" section lists 12 conditions that contraindicate usage, but not having had kids isn't amongst them.

This warning seems to be widely disregarded though by physicians though (and several posters upthread), and the UK prescribing information doesn't mention it at all. Nor does the prescribing info for Skyla, the other hormonal intrauterine system available in the US (which is a somewhat lower dosage and physically smaller variant that lasts for 3 years rather than 5). So is Mirena really perfectly safe for anyone to use, and the mothers-only clause just included to appease the lawyers?

i'm nulliparous and my doctor had no hesitation about prescribing me the mirena. i think it's recommended for women who've given birth because it's easier/more comfortable to implant into the uterus.

I'm nulliparous, and my gyn wasn't comfortable with the insertion bit due to that, but referred me to another gyn who was fine with it provided he got an intravaginal ultrasound first to check the route.

But I decided to just skip it and stay on the pill due to fibroids and other stuff that the pill helps manage!

apropos of nothing but "grand multip" is one of my favorite medical terms, it sounds so reverential. the OB residents were always a little more hands off, not her first rodeo style

Emily, I'm nulliparous, too, and I have a mirena. I may have mentioned upthread somewhere, but ask for an rx of a tablet or two of misoprostol for you to insert vaginally the night before your insertion. this'll help "soften" your cervix and make the insertion a little easier.

gbx I have no idea what you just said, but I like the way you said it!

Speaking on zero authority, the recommendations about mirena seem to be related to ease & comfort of insertion (the health dept. wanted to wait to put in the paraguard when I was on my period because the cervix is softer---and possibly lower??---at that time in the cycle) than with risk of scarring or other health problems.

But I heard that the FDA recently approved a smaller IUD called Skyla. Not sure if it is available outside of the US.

doink! Just now saw Skyla was already mentioned.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dalkon_Shield

Re pelvic inflammatory disease: PID can result in infertility, and iirc the old thinking was that a woman should have her children first and THEN later she can put her fertility at risk once she's fulfilled the prime directive. I dunno, that was a while ago, maybe that kind of talk has gone out of circulation now (I hope). But there's still the increased difficulty of insertion if you're nulliparous.

I mean in terms of reasons the official literature and legal-ese says it's recommended for women who have given birth.

PID can result in infertility, and iirc the old thinking was that a woman should have her children first and THEN later she can put her fertility at risk once she's fulfilled the prime directive.

i've known for a long time that i don't want kids, so bring on the infertility afaic.

i want infertility but i don't want pelvic inflammatory disease

i talked to a doctor about a decade ago regarding getting my tubes tied, and he flat-out told me i was absolutely too young to make a decision like that, that i would change my mind and decide i want kids. i was 26 at the time. my mind hasn't changed.

Dalkon Shield sounds sci-fi.

anyone ever had a DIAPHRAM? I might get one. I dont like hormonal bc.

no but i asked about getting one and they were very very very anti doing it - i can't remember much of the conversation except for that if you gain or lose weight you have to get a new one? or something.

Yeah, nurse practitioner sort of chuckled when I asked about it. Our health dept. has only one ancient nurse who still knows how to fit them. I'm not sure why, because it seems like a good method if you are the kind to actually remember to put it in.

yeah i think it would be my preferred method? but my fluctuating weight would be an issue.

If I remember, it's a 10 lb loss or gain for needing a different size. I used one for a couple years ages ago. Are cervical caps still made? Those seemed like a better deal - smaller and snugged up against the cervix vs. kind of floating below it.

The problem with the Dalkon Shield was the filamented string that was used was particularly good at giving bacteria a ladder, if you will, to climb into the uterus. It was a really shitty design and because of all the problems with it, tarnished IUDs in the minds of American women and the medical establishment for a generation. IUDs are the most popular method of birth control everywhere else in the world.

Homo2, you're in Denver, right? For a diaphragm fitting, try calling Boulder Valley Women's Health Center in Boulder. I worked there 10 years ago and they did them then. Buncha sweet old hippies.

in my OB clinic the docs/NPs were particularly gung-ho about IUDs, as the population skewed towards younger, uh, less "mindful" gals who weren't the best about compliance. even so, there was a lot of resistance from some pts; some younger women really did not like idea of having something "up there." a few mentioned concerns about it doing traumatic damage, fewer still brought up infection---seemed split pretty evenly between "it'll hurt to put in" and "the whole idea is just icky."

IANAL(ady), but IUDs seem pretty magical. given that we lack a medical prophylactic for men, you'd think that teens/20somethings would jump at the chance to be baby-free for a few years, I was a little surprised by how unpopular they were (in my particular clinic)

I think the pain phears are very real, when other methods don't involve pain during/after insertion!

Re diaphragms: my gyn told me that she recommends them only for women who would be OK with accidentally getting pregnant (like, if they want to have kids with their current partner at some point, anyway, and the timing isn't the end of the world) because the failure rate is relatively high. Thus no diaphragm for me!

having a migraine every month for 15 years was kind of a pain for me, would have preferred a moment of ouchy insertion tbrr

I've talked about this many times before but I fucking loved my Paragaurd. A++ would get again.

I think being nulliparous can not only make insertion more difficult sometimes but it can also increases the likelihood of expulsion. I think. When I had mine inserted (this was in 2006) my NP mentioned something about the rate of expulsions directly correlating to the experience of the person placing the IUD. She does over 200 a year so I was pretty comfortable with her doing it and never had any problems whatsoever.

Yeah, theoretically, re: expulsion (and perforation, too). Sounding the uterus prior to insertion to make sure it's big enough helps reduce this risk.

IUD is out for me as I already have insanely heavy periods and I do not want any synthetic hormones. Barrier methods only for me, I think... so... sponge or condoms or a diaphram. Oh, but my weight does fluctuate a lot. :/ Maybe I'll just do Today Sponge as I only have sex 2x/week or so.

x-post - Yeah, she definitely sounded my uterus before insertion. Iirc that might have hurt the worst in terms of pain. I did get a cervical block though too so the whole thing really wasn't that bad pain-wise.

xp - I loved those sponges and ditched the diaphragm as soon as they were available. Eventually had a tubal ligation (at 33 and with 2 kids and STILL had the doc try to talk me out of it).

Xps yeah I already have problem periods so I'm kind of terrified of making them worse with an IUD. Plus I think insertion has to happen at a certain point of your cycle, right? And I have a completely unpredictable cycle. Oh and my good friend almost bleed to death from an IUD infection iirc.

I got curious about what my insurance covers and it looks like an IUD is only $30... Compared to TL which is $1750!

I got curious about what my insurance covers and it looks like an IUD is only $30... Compared to TL which is $1750!

i paid $50 for my mirena, all-inclusive.

oh also, my doc wanted to put me on it because i'm at the age now where the pill puts me at risk for blood clots. (anecdata: i was on the pill for years and years and was super-diligent about taking it every day, so that's never been an issue. as disorganized as i am in the rest of my life, i'm razor-sharp when it comes to my sexual/reproductive health.)

I believe that insertion can happy at any point but some providers prefer to insert during menstruation when the cervix is already a little bit open.

My insurance covered my Paragaurd completely.

lol I don't know why I always put a "u" in there. Paragard.

Yeah, find an experienced provider and they can pop it in any ol' time. As E said, it's little easier to insert during shark week and doing it then also provides the added reassurance that you're not already up the stick.

Okay if my doc doesn't need tons of notice that might work - I usually know the day before so that gives me a 4-5 day window.

I've never given birth to a child and had Mirena for awhile. Insertion hurt like the dickens but was great after that. When the hormones became too much I tried a diaphragm. The main problem, aside from having to contort myself to get my hand in my vagina and adjust he damn thing correctly, was that it was noticeable and reportedly uncomfortable during sex. Sponges are pretty nice, but you've got to accept the possibility of failure. I think using a spong and abstaining during your peak fertility would be reasonably reliable, although you'd have to track or just be very familiar with your cycle.

Oh, the doc gave me some cervix softening cream to use before the insertion. Like I said, it hurt but I'm a little squeamish about pain and also the result was worth it. gbx (I think it was him) OTM about Mirena being perfect for women in their 20s. Shit, I could have saved myself a lot of stress and hassle if I'd gotten one when I was first sexually active,

lol I didn't even know I as getting mine the day I did. I had actually gone in to talk about getting a diaphragm and she basically talked me out of that. I then said I really wanted an IUD but that my older male PCP had said that wasn't a good idea. She was like "Oh, that's outdated BS thinking. I love IUDs. You have some time? Let's do it now!!" I happened to be on my period that day and she was like - "Oh, even better!" but she would have done it at any time but like I said upthread she's very very experienced at insertions.

it is probably the right method for me but i'm afraid. does it make your period get better after it gets worse or am i thinking of something else? i liked being on the pill but i don't want to take a pill every day and that's expensive.

As far as I understand it the Mirena (the one with localized hormones) often makes people's periods very very light or go away entirely. The Paragard can initially make them heavier and more painful but after a period of adjustment they usually go back to whatever they were like pre-IUD and that was certainly my experience.

oh yeah i think i knew that. my friend got one put in and hers got a lot worse at first, must have been copper. i want them to be nonexistent bc i think mine are getting worse as i age. or i have less tolerance!

can we just

"shark week"

so great

NO!!!!!!!!!

Oh I loled, also "on the stick"

prob good I won't be doing lady medicine anymore because the temptation to casually drop "shark week" is too much

I would love it if my gyn said that, but may be in the minority here

that's like a thing, though, ime (and that has been discussed on ilx?): the gyn (either male or female) that gets too chummy about ~functions~

some ladies reallllllly don't want to have a "hey we're all friends here, periods amirite" type interaction, they want a check up and to get the f out of d.

Well I've been seeing my gyn for over a decade now, so I wouldn't mind the chummy. Even if she were a he, that would be even funnier.

Chummy was an interesting word choice with regard to shark week.

the other day my doc (primary who does ob-gyn) said something like "i know this can't be fun for you, laying here with your hoo-hah hanging out." i laughed.

Am I the only one who's always too far up on the table? They're always like, "bring it down." I feel like a dump truck backing up.

I would love it if my gyn said that, but may be in the minority here

― quincie, Tuesday, May 21, 2013 12:42 AM (30 minutes ago)

My sister's gyno said a possible symptom of Nuvaring is "chotch itch," which my sister followed with, "and that's why I love her so much.

I would love that, too, with the right patient/doc relationship!

Emilys, I am always told to "scootch down," to the point that I am convinced I am going to fall off into my gyn's lap! Every goddamn time!

PARAGAAAARD, Y'ALL. Copper, no hormones. It does make shark week more challenging for around a year, is what it took mine to settle down.

Mine too about 6-8 months, I'd say. Then it was completely unnoticeable and during those months it was nothing a bunch of advil couldn't help with.

prob good I won't be doing lady medicine anymore because the temptation to casually drop "shark week" is too much

Oh my god if I had a cuet outdoorsy doctor who said "shark week" I would be so torn between changing doctors immediately out of crippling embarrassment vs staying so I had an excuse to come back in between every 2-month relationship.

you guys are starting to convince me, even though i'm completely terrified of having a stranger's hand all up in my uterus and also terrified at the prospect of a year of even crappier periods. but seriously, after 4 years of marriage i am mighty sick of condoms.

i seriously don't think i could handle heavier periods. I use a diva cup and I bleed around 11-12 ounces during my period as it is already.

and I am so anemic my doctor says I am at the level where they might consider a blood transfusion!!

blech.

No hand goes into your uterus, silly! The actual thing that goes in is so small, for real. It still hurts but it's not nearly as big or scary as you think it is.

Said every woman ever, I guess.

How the hell have you been married for FOUR YEARS?

Weren't you just asking for advice on your wedding dress like 18 months ago?? Okay, I'll give you two years--but no more!

well the legal wedding was 4 yrs ago - the other one was 3 years ago!

Damn, homo, that is A LOT of blood. Doesn't the average woman bleed, like, two tablespoons at most? How do you not curl up and die?

I think that two tablespoons thing is a cruel joke. I will fill up a Diva cup every couple of hours on my second and third day.

Poor homo! being that anemic feels terrible. A few years ago I was anemic enough to start having weird and scary pica symptoms (not bc of my period, though i imagine that didnt help, but bc of another medication i was taking) so I take a vitamin w/ iron and another iron supplement and try to be iron-minded with my diet and that manages it. I've never been threatened with a blood transfusion.

to start having weird and scary pica symptoms
more please!! dirt, ice, starch, or chalk?

It's weirdly embarrassing, considering that I just told the internet the average volume of menstrual blood I secrete, but I'll tell you some other time.

I have pica symptoms :( I am a chronic ice chewer

although i am reading JUST NOW that raspberry leaf tea and cod liver oil can help tremendously with heavy periods, gonna give that a go.

when I was in NY I filled my diva cup in less than half an hour and almost had a major accident. it was awful.

As far as I understand it the Mirena (the one with localized hormones) often makes people's periods very very light or go away entirely.

That was my experience when I took it HOWEVER the whole time I was taking Mirena I had horrible migraines at least twice a week that went away as soon as I stopped taking it. Your mileage may very, but I just wanted to warn anybody that's at all prone to migraines.

my friend also had an ectopic (sic?) pregnancy with mirena... had no idea she was pregnant. And she almost died from her fallopian tube bursting.

it suddenly struck me how absurd this all is -- you would think that there would be a more efficient way of preventing sperm from reaching/fertilizing eggs than the options we've been discussing.
sigh.

i KNOW. right now I am using withdrawal and a hope and a prayer. my hormones are so out of balance I am not sure I could get preggers anyway.

Xp YES YES YES! I don't get why it isn't easier already.

until someone invents sperm-zapping lazers for the home, condoms still the best option i'm afraid

it also strikes me as unfair that women kind of have the burden of figuring this out

Weren't they recently working on getting approval for a male birth control pill? Get it done!

Fucking patriarchy.

at least condoms represent a shared responsibility, that's something
i'm not in love with them or anything, but at least we don't have to introduce hormones into our bloodstream to use them or have a doctor insert them for us, painfully.

It is amazing how many dudes balk at vasectomy, even when there is agreement that no kiddos are wanted. Luckily S. is totally onboard, and will get the snip when we are back to decent health insurance (currently insured now under a high-deductible travel plan, which means the whole thing would be out of pocket. Though I bet you can get a cheap vasectomy here in Mexico!).

Point being, I've done the birth control work for decades now; time for someone else to take over.

someday i want to be watching late nite tv and see an infomercial for a sperm-zapping lazer that fits in the palm of your hand, is painless to administer, and only costs $19.99 for three lazers!

I mean look how many dudes have posted on this thread; you'd think it was a NO BOYS IN THE ROOM thread, which it is not. I'm guessing ilxdudors take a look at the thread title and just make the leap to "lady problems thread."

I would not have a problem with the male pill as long as the side effects weren't bizarre.
I'm not a fan of condoms, but I would rather use them than have an unwanted pregnancy or STD.
I would not have an issue with a girlfriend not wanting to take the pill.
I don't want children, I would not have a problem with having a vasectomy if it was the best option for the relationship.

You may continue with your lady problems thread. (joke)

^^^model dude

Point being, I've done the birth control work for decades now; time for someone else to take over.

― quincie, Tuesday, May 21, 2013 3:42 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OTM

Chummy was an interesting word choice with regard to shark week.

― emilys., Monday, May 20, 2013 10:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

AHAHAHA

S. was advised by a dude who got the snip that he should stock up on tubs of Haagen Dazs so that he could simultaneously ice his balls and eat all the ice creams. I think S. is actually kind of looking forward to that.

xp - double otm
there is the side benefit of condoms that it will also encourage creativity wrt non-procreative sexual activity. and if you want to have sex but not reproduce, that's a good thing to do, imo.

I almost could not wait to get a vasectomy, and got one three years into my marriage. We know we don't want kids? Fuck a bunch of hormones and barriers, fix me up!

Did you put ice cream on you balls afterwards?

I dipped my balls in the ice cream if that's what you are asking.

Soothing!

xxxxxxxxxxxpost yeah, it always SEEMS like way more than two tablespoons. The worst is when you take out your tampon and don't even have time to get a new one in before you get blood all over the floor.

Oh man, there is a terrifying story on xojane today about IUDs and sepsis - really terrible timing since I'm now seriously considering this and don't want to hear any horror stories.

it's weird, i was just this week looking into the male pill, and i ASSUMED that it existed! i swear i was reading about this shit like, what 10 years ago?? but nope! it isn't a thing. you can't do it. i would totally do it. it seems perfect.

IUD is fine for the moment but there's something about it that seems somewhat mystical, that i don't completely trust. i have no doubt that this suspicion is founded on precisely nothing, but i still can't really shake it.

i am not going to get a vasectomy because basically i am a wuss and cannot deal with the concept of permanence. i have no tattoos. i don't want more kids but you know, what if, like, there was a nuclear war and i was the only dude left alive, or.. er.

vasectomy is awesome, that is all

carl/homo's complaints about menstruation makes me think mine is not really that bad (i can leave divacup in for 24 hours or more with no problems) but i still wouldn't voluntarily make it worse for a year. i'd rather take a pill every day than that imo. there should be some type of woman vasectomy you can have.

Tracer, sometimes I'm mildly surprised you ever got married.

if i was the only woman left i would not help the human race regenerate!!!!

Iirc someone on another thread mentioned a medication he was taking that worked as a male contraceptive (I think it was some kind of prostate drug?) But hadn't been approved by the FDA for that particular off-label use

if i was the only woman left i would not help the human race regenerate!!!!

otm

Some sort of mass extinction would be very stressful, I don't think that's very conducive to boning.

also if it was nuclear-related you might have mutant kids

mass extinction prompts one to bone heedlessly until darkness falls. anyway that's what i gathered from 'airplane!'

DUDES. I was in the ER yesterday dealing with a kidney stone (everything's fine, feel a ton better, etc) and they did a CT scan. It turns out that my IUD has turned itself upside-down and a part of the "T" portion is in my cervix. Not cool and, apparently, not effective! Going in to have this dealt with tomorrow.

holy shit

Who knew it was so acrobatic?

Terrifying!!

It doesn't hurt or anything and I've had it for almost 5 years so it's about time to have it yanked. We'll see.

Any idea what caused it to move around? Scary to think that your birth control wasn't even doing its job for an unspecified amount of time!

Could you still feel the strings?

Checking your IUD strings is like flossing your teeth: everyone says they do it but nobody ever does it. My NP saw them at my last annual a year ago and that's good enough for me.

i floss my teeth but have never had an iud to check for strings
are you supposed to be able to feel them?

That depends on how long your fingers are ime.

oh, they're way up there
duh!! how could they be sticking out. sorry, that was a stupid question!

No, they stick out past the cervix. When I had my IUD, they wrapped the string end around my cervix so it wouldn't get in the way. You just have to be able to get your fingers to the top of your vagina to feel for them, which may be difficult for those short of arm and/or finger.

gotcha

Not everyone is a born spelunker.

lolololol

*reaches entire arm inside, pokes finger out nose*

i think i read that if you use natural progesterone cream for days 8-26 of your cycle you won't ovulate.
any truth to this???

A better question might be "are you a gambling woman?"

Seriously.

That makes sense, Kate. I could always feel mine pretty easily and while I necessarily didn't check every month, I would when I remembered.

I mean, I certainly wouldn't count on it... more just looking to see if that's true.

Also, I had a copper IUD so still got my period and could easily feel then when using OBs etc.

I'm sorry that happened to you (both the kidney stone and the IUD thing). Sucks. Hopefully it will be easy for them to sort out.

I am not a doctor or nurse, just a woman with some experience with supplemental hormones plus I took a natural family planning class once LOL, but here are some layperson's thoughts on the progesterone cream:

The presence of enough progesterone in your body would make your body think you're pregnant and thus prevent ovulation, which is part of how BCPs work. So to that extent, it makes some kind of sense that the cream might work.

But progesterone is one of the hormones in BCPs, and IIRC you need to use a backup method when you first start BPCs so it doesn't make a lot of sense that just using it during part of your cycle would stop ovulation.

Regardless, it won't work at all if you ovulate on day 7, so I wouldn't even try this if you aren't very familiar with your cycle (and even so, all sorts of things could happen to change it one month so I think you'd even have to be tracking your cycle as you go to be sure).

Also, "natural" progesterone cream? If it's classified as a supplement, that means the amount of actual progesterone in it is not regulated the way a "synthetic" progesterone cream would be, so you don't know how much of the hormone you are actually using, making the prospect of it stopping ovulation even more dicey. Plus who knows what else is in there and personally I'm not one for putting unknown ingredients in my vag.

In short, I would never rely on it as a method of birth control.

My concerns would be absorption rates of topical progesterone via the skin could also be highly variable and you would have to have a super-regular cycle to know which days to apply it. Wouldn't do it.

This is good news - the Plan B one-dose emergency contraceptive ( will soon be available in the US to people of all ages without a prescription, meaning it will be kept on the shelves just like toothpaste or ibuprofen, not behind the pharmacy counter. Previously, it was available without a prescription only to those 17 and older, and

This is good news - the Plan B one-dose emergency contraceptive (1.5mg of levonorgestrel, a progestogen) will soon be available in the US to people of all ages without a prescription, meaning it will be kept on the shelves just like toothpaste or ibuprofen, not behind the pharmacy counter. Previously, it was available without a prescription only to those 17 and older, but required a prescription for girls 15 or 16. This requirement not only made it difficult for 15/16 year olds to obtain it in short enough time to be effective (less than 3 days) but also meant that only registered pharmacies could stock it, and it would only be available when the pharmacy counter was open. Since many pharmacies are closed by 9pm (even if the rest of the store remains open), this often meant having to wait until the next day even for adults.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/obama-administration-drops-fight-to-keep-age-restrictions-on-plan-b-sales/2013/06/10/a296406e-d22a-11e2-a73e-826d299ff459_story.html

As usual, the anti-choice groups are up in arms - "Parents all across the country ought to be really, really concerned that we’re seeing the Obama administration completely surrender any principle of defending women’s health to the politics of big abortion,” said Americans United for Life President Charmaine Yoest. '. - it doesn't seem to have have entered their thick skulls that readily available emergency contraceptives can only reduce unintended pregancies, and thus abortions. Also, multiple studies have shown that widespread EC availability does not correlate with increased high-risk sex amongst teens or anyone else. It's the Food and Drug Administration, not "big abortion", that pushed for the law change.

The right isn't interested in decreasing abortions. They are interested in controlling women. That's why piece of shit clinic protesters stand outside of Planned Parenthood handing out pamphlets about how birth control pills cause cancer.

Anyway, I talked to a woman yesterday who had an insane getting pregnant on birth control story. She got a Mirena IUD shortly after the birth of her first son and between waiting the recommended time for the IUD to become effective and her first kid being sick a lot, she and her husband had sex once in three months. And she got pregnant. She said she kept getting her period, but would get terrible hives at the same time. She kept going to the doctor who would do a urine pregnancy test, but they were all negative. Finally after months of this, doctors did a blood test and ultrasound just to rule out pregnancy and discovered she was four months pregnant. She said she was really sick and had a lot of complications with her first kid, but with the second, other than the hives, she was fine so she really had no idea.

Obviously that is the 0.01% of the 99.99% effective stat for Mirena and nothing to extrapolate actual efficacy from, but I just thought that was a heck of a story.

I sorry but I had to lol at ". . . politics of big abortion." Big Abortion! ahahaha

Also holy shit @ that story, carl! Practically an immaculate conception, no?

ikr???? I mean, she really didn't know me well enough to tell me that much about her life, but I appreciated it nonetheless because it was an incredible story. She was explaining why her kids were so close in age.

I sorry but I had to lol at ". . . politics of big abortion." Big Abortion! ahahaha

yeah i can't take someone's opinion seriously when they use terms like that. or people who don't even bother to understand the world of difference between "abortion" and "contraceptive".

I wish the US really did have a Big Abortion lobby.

for real

anyone here had fibroids or polyps? I have two of both. That's what's been causing my crazy heavy periods.

I have six fibroids! No polyps that I know of.

My periods seem a little heavy, but not crazy heavy, which always mystifies the ultrasound tech who monitors the fibroids. I am somewhat concerned about what will happen when I go off the pill next year. If crazy heavy develops, I'm gonna lobby for a hysterectomy and be done with this reproductive-organ stuff once and for all.

In other news, I am starting to wonder if I am peri-menopausal. I have an aunt who started menopause early (early 40s). It would help explain why my internal thermostat has gone wacko.

I don't have fibroids but a good friend of mine had them really, really bad when she was younger. She got a hysterectomy in her mid30s, I think, because she basically couldn't function. She's in her early 50s now and says it was an excellent decision.

^^^good to hear. There are potential negative repercussions of hysterectomy so it is a srs decision; helpful to hear from the "pro" side.

My mom's coworker is in her 40s, I think. Her fibroids and heavy bleeding were putting her health in serious danger, so she had a hysterectomy. It really helped her.

Slightly off-topic, I'm reading a really fucked-up book called "Mad in America." Glad this surgery is no longer considered an option for "hysterical" conditions (I'm assuming that's where the name comes from, though the author never addresses the origin of the name).

Any IUD updates? Mirena latest? Early 40s, no pregnancies, copper no good b/c cramps. I'm on an estrogen-heavy pill and the doctor wants me off it because of breast cancer risk (family history).

i'm going to get the copper IUD this week! kinda nervous about the cramping thing though, since i already have major back pain with my period :/

I think the cramping is maybe only for the first few months, actually? I might be being a wimp!

Still love mine! Still presume it's working a treat, since I've been in a relationship for like 6 mos and I'm not pregnant.

I didn't notice a lot of increased cramping with my Paragard btw, just increased bleeding. Which seems to have completely subsided and gone back to normal (ages ago probably actually, since I've had this thing for like 4 years now).

Like I've said before, I think it's just better to ask for the Cytotec from the beginning. I went through a couple of failed attempts because they couldn't get into my cervix--why bother with that?? Make it a good experience of an effective procedure, just get the drug.

I had mine out for a couple years but got it put back in a couple months ago. Removal was a cinch and I feel like the 2nd insertion didn't hurt nearly as much as the first one did. I haven't noticed increased cramping that much at all this time around. I took 800 mg Ibuprofen and an ativan 45 mins before hand and actually said, "Wait, you're done?" after she finished because I was expecting it (or remembered it) to be way worse.

I think I'm just kind of lucky though - I hardly get cramps at all now compared to how I used to. A friend of mine got an IUD one for the first time around the same time I got my 2nd and she's having a really tough time with the cramps right now. She wanted to get it out after two months but I think she's going to try to stick it out for another couple months.

BTW did not have any Cytotec or a cervical block or anything with the second insertion (but don't think there's any reason not too they just didn't offer and I forgot to ask) and Lub is right - the increased cramping and bleeding is supposed to subside after the first 6 months which iirc mine did the first time around.

so i went for my appointment this morning, and the really horrible ob/gyn doctor was super condescending and accusatory towards me, bc apparently i was supposed to get a consult first, but the online appt system doesn't allow for that, so they can go fuck themselves. she acted like it was all my fault. and then she told me that bc my periods are 40-50 days apart that that's severely irregular and i probably have PCOS so she absolutely wouldn't be putting a paraguard in. ever.

she also acted like it was my fault that i hadn't had a thorough work-up to determine if i have PCOS in the past, even though i told her that not a single doctor has mentioned there was anything wrong with my irregular periods: "well have you seen a gynecologist?" "no bc i've never been referred by my gp bc not a one of them ever told me that maybe there was something wrong". fucking fuck doctors.

What a rotten doctor. If your insurance will let you, definitely get a second opinion.

i'm with kaiser, and i have an appt next week now with an NP who i've seen before who is really really nice - she'll do the work-up and if i can get the paraguard, she'll be the one to put it in.

oh and the other thing: the dr was really really ANTI the paraguard and telling me all the horrible things about it, and pushing me towards the mirena (i think the paraguard is like $30 vs the mirena which will cost me $500). i'm not sure wtf i'll do if i can't get the paraguard. i really really don't want any kind of hormonal bc. and although ytth and i are pretty sure we're not having kids ever, i want to wait about 5 more years before doing anything irreversible about that.

the thing is, i've had a lot of really terrible experiences with doctors, starting when i was 4, so i'm pretty sensitive about how i'm treated and prone to freaking out. this dr didn't even introduce herself, she just started right in lecturing me.

so apparently bc my cycle is long i'm at high risk of uterine cancer as i age. the best thing for preventing that would be the pill, and the second best thing is the mirena - basically bc hormonal birth control thins the uterus lining. i have to have some blood work done to determine that i don't have PCOS, and then when my next period comes i'll get the mirena put in the first day. i guess some of my fears about any hormonal birth control were eased by finding out that that it's a low dose of progestin and it's localized.

i've mentioned my irregular periods to doctors before (up until i was in my mid 20s sometimes my cycle would be months and months long) and not a single one has told me that i'm at risk of PCOS or uterine cancer. wtf.

i had the mirena put in this morning - it wasn't too bad, really just a very brief burst of intensive pain/cramping as it goes in, and i feel ok now.

My ex got her Implanon replaced last week - apparently it took several minutes of extremely painful scar tissue scraping to get the old one out.
She's still pretty sure it's the greatest invention ever, though.

as long as this thing doesn't fall out or become infected or punch a whole in my uterus, i'm probably going to be thinking the same thing.

http://www.bustle.com/articles/63024-your-iud-birth-control-implant-remain-effective-for-longer-than-you-think-so-ladies-save

Mirena insertion scheduled for tomorrow...

Heeeey, great news! Fingers crossed for smoothness.

Fail :( Measuring tool went in, Mirena wouldn't, even though it's smaller! Maybe because it's plastic and didn't put enough pressure on to get through.... Trying again next month with whatever muscle-relaxant thingy they have. Meantime, I have to have a colposcopy for abnormal PAP :/

Ljub, I had to try it twice, too. Actually possibly 3x? I can't remember exactly but yeah the first time they couldn't even get the measuring tool (called a sound) in, which turned out to be partly bc I have a tilted uterus so you can't push in a straight line. Ugh no fun. It worked fine with the relaxant though! And I've barely given it a moment's thought since, which is so, so great.

Good to hear that someone else had success second or third time around! I don't actually mind taking the pill at all (no side-effects, I usually remember fine) but I have to get off it because I'm old :/ (and because the one that works for me is very high-dose).

I had to get off it bc I'm a smoker and because it makes me hate my body/life.

Sorry about the colpo. Those suck.

Not looking forward to it, but kind of glad she wants me to book one now rather than wait and repeat the pap. Initially the doctor said to just do another pap in 3-6 months, then the receptionist called back and told me to get in touch as they wanted the colp 'because of my age'. This is a grad school health service that usually deals with younger women, so I guess they suddenly remembered some guideline about protocol for the over 40s.

my uterus = babby-proofed! Got my 2nd Mirena inserted about an hour ago and am now relaxing with cat and wine and ibuprofen and netflix.

yay babby-proofing!

I'd like to think that my uterus is babby-proofed by virtue of being 41 years old, however partner is vasectomified JIC.

My periods have settled down to 27 day cycles, with only one one day being a bloody disaster. Feeling pretty OK off the pill, finally. But oh my god my boobs hurt SO MUCH! Like 10x more than they did on the pill! It is only for a few days but it makes it hard to exercise and/or sleep.

This IUD has been a bitch to adjust to which makes me wonder if the second one I had (the one that expelled) was ever inserted properly to begin with.

Well, I couldn't talk my gyn into a medically unnecessary hysterectomy so as soon as she gets approval from my insurance company, I'm getting the Mirena IUD. It feels really weird to embrace birth control after so many years of doing everything within the power of science and our bank account to make a babby, but boy oh boy am I looking forward to a less exuberant period.

The last time I had one, the installation was fundamentally unpleasant so I'm a little nervous about it.

Yeah, the insertion is no bueno, but what are ya gonna do?

that's what drugs are for
for good times
and bad times
drugs are on your side forever more

also i will go with you if you want carl. i have a car. i think i was with you the first time, like we rode the bus together? maybe i am hallucinating that.

lechera otm re:drugs

I don't remember (I remember having a vaso vagal response and nearly falling off the table), LL, but I like the idea that you were there so let's say that you were.

i think i just rode the bus there with you and then maybe went to a class or something? either way if you need a chaperone with a car/dd who is not a cabbie, lemme know.

IT IS DONE

And holy moly is the installation SO MUCH easier after being pregnant. There was pain but it was over so fast I didn't even have time to worry about it. The nurse was telling me it would be easier but since Ivy didn't come out that way I was worried it wouldn't matter but nope. PIECE OF CAKE.

Now let's all light a candle that this little miracle stops my stupid period forever.

down with periods!

YES

My theory is that Mirena stops your period because after insertion, it cases a month-long (so far) SUPER PERIOD that uses up your entire menstruation allotment for five years and only once you finish the SUPER PERIOD does the period stopping benefits kick in.

That's my theory because I've been bleeding for a month now and I'm probably anemic and losing brain function and I have to believe this is all leading to something wonderful or else I will cry.

How heavy is it? I had the same thing and it took a couple of months to settle down, then there was a few months of spotting. I'm ten months in and things still don't feel completely... "normal".

I've had a lot of lower abdominal pain, and two weird episodes where the pain has been so intense that I've been almost unable to move, gone white as sheet, cold sweat, and felt like I was gonna faint. The second time it happened I actually threw up.

I've been putting up with it bc it's still better than using condoms!

Idk I'm thinking about just skipping straight to tubal ligation. I was gonna wait a few more years but I think I'm ready.

Friend just reported the same Mirena-related fainting problem you're having, J :/

I still haven't had another go at having mine inserted. It turns out I have fibroids and I have to get them measured or something. Meanwhile a different doctor suggested a low-estrogen pill called LoLo. When told about this the first doctor said 'oooh, good thought!' Dunno what to do now.

why do they need to give these pills stupid names like lolo and yaz

Yaz: the only way is up!
you know where

YOLO, go LoLo

(sorry)

mirena sounds like a shitty product if it's making people bleed for months and faint
wtf, manufacturers

It's supposed to make your bleeding taper off and lots of ppl (??) report that they stop having them altogether? Idk I got the Paragard and I love it but I bled buckets for a while, as I've reported here before.

I've had the Mirena before and it eventually made my period disappear, which is why I got it again. Begone, period. Begone. I don't remember whether it initially caused a month's worth of bleeding the first time.

J, the bleeding is more than spotting but not as much as my regular period, although given that my regular period was usually a wear two pads and sit on a towel at all times kind of affair, I'm not sure that's saying much.

Argh I'm sorry carl and J that you're not getting the desired effects (that is, besides blessed temporary infertility) Those manufacturers should GET ON THAT STAT.

I don't know if it's a manufacturing thing or just how different people react to hormones.

The active hormone in all hormonal contraception is progesterone (birth control pills also have estrogen, but it is only there to give you a fake period every month--it's more accurately a withdrawal bleed). Hormonal contraception without estrogen (Mirena, Depo, minipills) can cause spotting for the first several months.

I went from a few years of Depo to my 2nd Mirena a few months ago and it's tru luv, ell-you-vee.

yeah it's definitely different reactions from different ppl.

idk if it's related or just a coincidence (i mentioned it to my dr but she brushed it off), but right after i got the mirena i got this sort of pinched-nerve feeling in the middle of my inner thigh that now comes and goes ever since. my dr also thought i was being weird for making a follow up appointment to get an ultrasound to make sure the iud was still in place.

the low dose of hormones in the mirena is also supposed to be local and not really affect your skin etc but the esthetician i saw recently said it was almost definitely causing my skin problems, and she had seen a number of women with the same issue.

xp the estrogen is only there to give you a fake period every month? I did not know that! But with Mirena, there's no estrogen, but it's possible to still get a fake period anyway? (even though some people lose theirs)

yeah, pretty much! The "period" you get on combined oral contraceptive pills is more accurately described as estrogen withdrawal bleeding. Which is why if you're taking a low-estrogen pill you would typically be more prone to spotting if you aren't taking them at the same time every day. The spotting some women get on progesterone-only methods like Mirena and Depo is not typically very period-esque and usually stops.

Huh, I really need to read more about this. Is there a really good in-depth resource on the net that you'd recommend?

Ytth did all the research on IUDs for me and said he found a lot of useful stuff on a forum called...IUDdivas

Eg my first proper period after getting the iud, I got hellaciously painful nipples, worst than anything I'd had before, I couldn't even sleep.
.there was nothing about that in the info my Dr gave me me, but ytth looked it up on the forum and apparently it's pretty common.

My boobs have definitely been sore, and I'm... puffier than usual. Not really bloated? But like my rings and my bra bands are tighter.

mine were beyond regular period-sore - like i was awake all one night crying bc they hurt saw much. it only ever happened that one time, though.

painful nipples? weird!

I'm so glad I have a Paragard. Everything seems to have settled down now back to pre-insertion levels of monthly discomfort. Nothing a couple advil can't kill and only for the first couple days.

An off topic, TMI anecdote that came to mind a few days ago when i saw this thread surface: about 15 years ago, i was involved in a relationship with a woman using a diaphragm and we ran into a pretty serious issue that I've not heard from anyone else using a diaphragm: when we had sex, i was rubbing against the cap in a way that led to extreme chafing and cuts (for me, not her). ultimately, since neither of us wanted to opt for condoms, she switched to the pill (which tbh, probably helped kill the relationship as she resented going on it); we spoke with an obgyn prior to making that shift who gave us an awkward shrug and said that "Sometimes people are just built certain ways". Anybody else ever had or heard of this experience?

in my non-woman experiential wisdom, I would guess that it was a length/angle/pelvic tilt thingy

you can slam into the cervix during penetrative sex. that is generally bad.

xps one bonus is that i no longer get crippling lower back pain every time i get my period

xp to forks: the strings on my iud are fairly stiff and have caused some chafing (not to me), depending on where they're sitting.

xp hitting the cervix has been a common issue in most relationships but this was the only time it actually cut me up. it stopped being a problem after she opted out of using a diaphragm.

justine, that's interesting, was not aware that an iud could produce the same problem

neither was i, i was under the impression it was impossible for your partner to feel it. i think it depends how the strings have moved around - it only happened one time (so far).

I have heard they're possible to feel, sometimes.

nuvaring also possible to feel, iirc

I tried using a diaphragm for a period of time and had to quit because my partner could feel it so I don't think it's weird that it would cause problems.

I've also had some comedy moments with a Nuva ring.

it is a comedic device (ba-dum tish) for sure

i am appreciating supporting evidence on this anecdote; guys at planned parenthood treated us like we were mutants

I think sometimes people get too personally invested in a particular thing (here, the diaphragm but really anything) and treat anything that calls its supremacy into question as an aberration instead of a thing that happens. I got the diaphragm from a feminist health clinic and the health worker I saw treated it like the answer to all my birth control prayers. Among other issues, I also felt distinctly unsexy squatting down in the bathroom with my hand up my vag trying to get the damn thing placed correctly.

Anyway I used it like twice and was like fuck it. Or actually don't.

Vasectomyvasectomyvasectomyvasectomyvasectomyvasectomyvasectomy

Can't say it enough.

Vasectomy

Though it require me to summon up every bit of empathy training from social work skool when one ball (not mine) was black and blue for a while.

The active hormone in all hormonal contraception is progesterone (birth control pills also have estrogen, but it is only there to give you a fake period every month--it's more accurately a withdrawal bleed).

Are we sure of this? Why then do all of the birth control pills that are marketed for continuous daily use without placebo pills (i.e. Amethyst) specifically to prevent monthly withdrawal bleeding contain estrogen?

You can really only do the continuous use thing with the monophasic pills, where the "active" pills contain the same amount of hormone all three weeks. It also works better with certain types of progesterone than others. I think medical providers are still recommending to let yourself have a period a few times a year if doing the continuous use thing.

Triphasic pills (where each week has a different amount of hormone, like orthotricycline) came on the scene ostensibly to more accurately mimic a monthly cycle (but really they were created because drug companies were about to lose their patents on their monophasic pills, so they created a new pill with new advertising and voila).

also upthread: I have had dudes mention that they can feel my IUD strings poking them. Is it annoying or painful enough to make them stop boning me? No, no, it is not.

Haha Otm. I didn't even find out it was an issue til, like, the next day

for us it was serious and painful enough to want to stop. But i was 25! You don't stop when you're 25!

If the strings are cut too short that can definitely be a problem. I've always asked for them to be left long. They then tend to soften over time and curl up around the cervix.

many xps - thanks for the IUDdivas rec, J! Looks excellent, will browse.

I'm going to complaint about the Endless Period for a minute...

I had about eight weeks of bleeding. At around week six I had a follow up with the NP who was like, "Naw, that's normal but if you're still bleeding in six more weeks (!!!) come in and we can give you pills (???)." At week eight, the bleeding stopped! Yay, I thought! I will finally enjoy the period free life that I deserve.

Then two weeks later the bleeding started again. I figured it was whatever passes for my period, and for about three days, I bled as heavily as I ever have in the last ten years or so. Then, abruptly, it stopped. Yay, I thought! A short period! And then the bleeding returned, slightly less heavy but not by much.

I seriously don't know if I can take this. At least pre-IUD, my period was somewhat predictable. And only lasted five days at a time.

srsly that is completely bonkers
i can't comprehend how 8 weeks of bleeding is considered normal for iud insertion?! like we're gonna give you every period for the rest of your life all at one time, and then promise you that they will stop forever?

The bleeding is not from the insertion, it's from the progesterone in the Mirena. Same thing happens on Depo. Another option: could also be perimenopause.

I think I've been on perimenopause's doorstep for awhile (periperimenopause?) between the infertility and the fact that my period has been getting longer, heavier, and closer together for awhile now. Would the progesterone in the IUD exacerbate that?

It's definitely wearing me down, though.

Kate78, what's your take on tubal ligation vs IUD (in the context of never wanting kids)?

Had the IUD inserted today unexpectedly (!!!) Went for a second colposcopy (following possibly abnormal pap) under the impression they would need to send a sample off somewhere for testing, and wouldn't try Mirena till that was all confirmed to be ok. But they said if everything looked ok (which it did, apparently) then no need to send another sample off, so we could go ahead and insert the Mirena. It was a 'slow day' for them, lol. Anyway, this was with the specialist insertion lady rather than the doc who couldn't get it in last time, so I went for it. (Also, the specialist's daughter was in to observe procedures as some kind of component of a nursing course, so at least I got to feel useful). I hadn't taken any painkillers beforehand of course, and fucking hell. It was five times more painful than last time and I thought I was going to pass out. But I didn't, and I was fine in about 3 minutes.

I've been told to expect three months of bleeding, but that it should be 'light spotting'. We'll see :/

that all sounds terrible; my gal has had to deal with a lot of these problems too. i am appalled (though not surprised) how often severely abnormal menstrual cycles are generally taken with a shrug by most obgyns.

I would say expecting 3-5 months of spotting when starting Depo or Mirena is pretty accurate.

Carl: I doubt the small amount of prog. in the Mirena would do anything pro or con re: perimenopause. A drop in the hormonal bucket.

Justine: It'll probably be easier to get an IUD than a tubal, especially if you don't have kids because what if your fickle ladybrain changes it's mind? A lot of providers (even feminist lady docs and NPs!) still won't sterilize women who don't have kids. Also easier just in terms of scheduling and getting it inserted.

And an IUD is pretty damn near as effective as a tubal.

i already have mirena, but i was wondering if i should just get the TL since i'm almost 36 and we definitely do not want kids. but since it's not 100% guaranteed i was thinking maybe it wasn't worth it but wanted an expert opinion!

3 months of bleeding jfc

i'd be in a darkened room by the third WEEK, forget months

hats off to all you lady soldiers & your bleeding ladyparts *salutes*

TMI TMI TMI! Sooooooooooooooooooo I'm about 90% sure that I "spontaneously expelled" this IUD. Last Tuesday I could feel the strings and they seemed to be hanging low but I attributed that to having my period (and the attendant low cervical position) and went about my bleeding business (har har). Then yesterday morning I had a particularly... clotty feeling toilet experience and noticed a suspiciously t-shaped clot. I checked in the shower and... no strings. And the bleeding stopped.

I'm calling the doc tomorrow and I'll ask about the likelihood of it happening again but between the nonstop bleeding and the fact that it just fell the hell out, I don't know if I'm going to get another one.

Holy shit! Bizarre but. . . I guess stop to bleeding is a plus???

yiiikes

Yeah, I'm not unhappy about this turn of events, I have to admit. I was going to ride it out but now that it's gone I'm like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Whoa! Interesting. Begone, very inconvenient device.

I've had no cramping and no bleeding BUT it's because I'm finishing a pack of pills. Bet it all kicks off after that.

Aaaahhhhhhhhh!!

Expulsion isn't all that uncommon, right? In the first couple months anyway.

yeah, I think that's the highest-risk time?

Per the admittedly cursory google search I did to make sure I didn't need emergency care, it seems like it's not super common (one website put the statistic at 2-5%) but definitely not unheard of. There was a convo on IUD Divas about it, and one woman had IUDs reinstalled THREE TIMES and she expelled all three of them. I definitely would have stopped after two.

Did you actually see the IUD? Like wash off the clot and find the hardware?

Sorry maybe that's gross but that's what I would've done and since it didn't sound like it I'm wondering if it was actually expelled. I feel like it would be pretty obvious? That said, I've heard of women expelling them and not noticing. I just can't imagine how that happens.

And I'm not saying you didn't expel it but just wondering if you're 100% sure.

"wash off the clot and find the hardware" = the least popular country line dance move

LOL

Yes that's totally gross but also a PVMIC and I sincerely love you for it. I didn't visually confirm beyond the suspicious t-shape of the clot in question. I'd say I'm about 90% sure that I expelled it but that's based on circumstantial evidence.

I could have potentially not noticed if I hadn't glanced in the toilet as I was getting up. It's been such a shitshow (so to speak) with all the bleeding that I could have easily attributed the sudden cessation of bleeding to the general downstairs weirdness that's been going on since I got the thing inserted.

lol I asked to see the one I partially expelled after the doc removed it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience with yours. I feel so bad any time someone does because I've had such a relatively easy time with mine. It'll be interesting to hear what the doc says!

Aw thanks. I'm a little surprised since the first time around, I don't recall having any problems at all. I must have had an initial run of bleeding but I can't remember at all, and eventually my period just went away entirely.

Also thank you for reminding me to call the doc. I have an apt. tomorrow morning at 9.

Didn't IO post a while back about expelling hers like three times?

I think it just took her three times to get the insertion completed successfully ("just" like that's a walk in the park), not that she expelled it.

Yeah the first time was my non-dilated cervix's fault and a tipped uterus, apparently. Once I got the right drugs to get it in, I was fine.

Sorry about everything, carl.

1. NP is certain the IUD is gone but wants me to schedule an ultrasound to be safe, which sure. Fine.
2. I experienced an abnormal amount of bleeding.
3. If you expel a Mirena w/in 90 days of insertion they'll replace it for free.
4. If you expel one there's an increased chance of expelling another.
5. I couldn't talk them into an elective hysterectomy. :|
6. The nurse and both NPs I saw would have fished the suspicious clot out of the toilet and confirmed it was the IUD so E, you are in good company.

7. The NP went up into my cervix with a cytobrush to see if there was anything lodged in there and now my cervix hurts and that is upsetting to me.

Oh God, carl, you have really had maximum hassle from this thing :/

ikr??? I have discussed the situation with my partner and we have agreed that I will not be taking advantage of the Mirena 90 day reinstallation offer.

No, I thought you might politely decline that kind offer.

Meanwhile, my three-month (or whatever) stint of bleeding has begun even though I'm still finishing a pill pack.

5. I couldn't talk them into an elective hysterectomy. :|
i understand why but this is messed up

ugh anything in & around the cervix area is the worst, sending hugs to u carl

"Women Don't Need to Have Periods"

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/09/no-periods/403894/

*wistful sigh*

That's interesting about breakthrough bleeding being incorporated into BCPs because women wanted it. I always assumed it was some paternalistic thing on the part of the developers.

I remember reading somewhere that women now have way more periods than women used to because in ye olden times women spent the majority of their reproductive years either pregnant or breastfeeding (which for a large majority of women stops them from getting their periods) so that you can sort of view the way women get their periods now as "unnatural".

I've never minded mine tbh. I actually kind of like it because it reminds me of what I'm (presumably) capable of and that's pretty fucking amazing to think about. Also, I think I have it pretty easy in terms of pain and duration etc.

I like it bc it reminds me that I'm not pregnant.

Here's a q: Can long term use of bc pills/hormonal bc cause the growth of or exacerbate ovarian cysts?

no -- given that increased gonadotropin stimulation is thought to contribute to the development of ovarian cysts, and given that oral contraceptives work to block the secretion of gonadotropins from the pituitary, if anything the use of OCs should be beneficial in people with cysts. in fact OCs are first-line therapy for people with PCOS

that article kate posted was pretty good for the most part btw

thank you for the thorough and informative answer!

i read about half of this before i had to nope out due to omfg it reminds me of something from a cronenberg movie
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/style/2017/07/26/essure/?utm_term=.63970eddcc94

I got to 'There, the inserts, which do not contain or release hormones, help generate scar tissue that blocks the tubes.' and thought 'hmm sounds reliable' :/

Other factors might also have influenced doctors’ enthusiasm for Essure. For one thing, it takes less time to implant the device than to perform tubal ligation surgery in a hospital. Then there are the reimbursement rates. In 2011 documents created by Conceptus for its sales team, the company estimated that a doctor who inserted 60 Essure devices a year would net $66,747.78, or slightly more than $1,100 per device. By contrast, a physician is reimbursed about $510 by private insurance for surgical sterilization in a hospital, according to Amino, a company that uses U.S. insurance claims data to help consumers estimate health-care costs.

Barbara Levy, vice president of health policy at the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and a former consultant to Conceptus, says the higher reimbursement rate is meant to cover office overhead and the equipment necessary to insert Essure, not to serve as an incentive for doctors to recommend Essure over tubal ligation. But Robinson argues that the rate does present an incentive, “and it’s supposed to.” He believes that the idea behind the Essure reimbursement rate is to steer doctors away from the more costly hospital-based procedure.

The problem with a procedure that reimburses well, Robinson contends, “is that everybody jumps onboard: ‘Oh, I’m going to do Essures and I’m going to pay my kids’ college tuition.’ ” But Essure isn’t appropriate for every woman, he says, and should be inserted only by doctors who understand and can manage the risks.

Like many of the women I spoke to, Angie Firmalino, 45, says that her doctor recommended Essure. Shortly after her 2009 procedure, which she says was excruciating, the Tannersville, N.Y., woman began having constant bleeding and pain. She developed joint problems that she attributes to an autoimmune response and had to have surgery to remove the coils. The operation left fragments behind and resulted in a hysterectomy. She’s still dealing with chronic pain, muscle weakness and blood circulation problems, which she also thinks are autoimmune related.

In 2011, Firmalino decided to start a group on Facebook to share her experiences with female friends. Then, strangers started requesting to join and “telling their horror stories, some worse than mine,” she says. Soon the Essure Problems group had hundreds, then thousands of women. They wrote graphic descriptions of their pain and blood loss, fatigue and weight gain; they posted pictures of their thinning hair and bloated bellies that could be mistaken for marking the weeks of pregnancy. And they shared the stranger symptoms: joint pain, sudden muscle weakness, skin rashes. “That’s when the talk started about what is this device made out of?” Firmalino says. “Then we discovered there’s nickel in the device. None of us knew.”

did not know there was nickel in it
did not ask women if they were allergic to nickel
bodily horror follows

even shitty Etsy sellers tell you when their jewellery contains nickel ffs

seriously
why does it take investigative reporting to find out that these fallopian-tube hosted coils of pain aren't working the way they are supposed to?! "i could pay my kid's tuition with this" not a good answer.

god... horrific

corrosive coils of horror

tooth decay? what the ever-loving hell

when I was partway into the article I was thinking it sounded similar to some of the male contraception options that are being tested that involve plugging up the vas deferens, but those are more of a rubber type of substance and not NICKEL wtf

Cybersex for the win I guess