TS: Tits or Ass

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What's on your plate tonight?

― blue man groupie, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Your severed balls?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

GRUNDEL

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i'll take a furtive glance of a maiden's exposed ankle, thankyouverymuch.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Dr. Lecter! You should have identified yourself.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

oh for Christ's sake C*lum I thought you'd found something better to do

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:19 (twenty-two years ago)

b-b-but we've already done this thread!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, the answer is tits.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Wrong.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree with ally.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't, though it usually depends on what's going on w/the body. the correct answer is "whichever is better"

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

God, that's filthy

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

meh

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

My tits are better than my ass.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Millar in preferring tits shocker

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i prefer tummies

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

shocker

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

chub fiender

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:39 (twenty-two years ago)

that's what it says on my t-shirt

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i prefer brain. tits and ass is a dime a dozen.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

no fair picking things other than tits or ass, it makes the rest of us look bad

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

especially those of us with neither tits nor ass

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Well my tits arent on my plate, cos I'd look like a saggy old tribal woman if they did... and I cant see myself sitting on a plate either... so umm... I give up, is this a trick question? Can I go to the bathroom now?

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

(sob i wish i had an ass)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

no fair picking things other than tits or ass

I think I could better advocate taking ass than I could picking ass. So really, it's all about the verb.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:43 (twenty-two years ago)

can i pick your brains?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

no fair selecting things other than tits or ass

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

The grocery store that's just been bought out here -- Mr D's, for those of you who know Bloomington -- had pork brains today! I bought ostrich instead. Since ostriches don't seem to have meat many places, I probably bought the ass.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

rump steak!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

rowr

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I have an ass Jim would you like to borrow it? >:)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

If grocery shopping is a text, do we read into my choice that I'm shallow and superficial (choosing ass over brains), or by "flipping the bird" at the "pig," am I protesting male chauvinism?

/Hampshire alumnus

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Without ILX, I have had nowhere for my labored jokes.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i think vegetarianism would have to come into it somewhere

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

possibly the ass

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

< /laboured joke >

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

This one time, at 4-H camp ...

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey I think I'm insulted, I offered my ass and no one said anything. Humpf.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, it's ARSE. I think I'll take the side of the arse please.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Tarts or Arse

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

rump steak!

Or lamb breast?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

hehehe "can i come onto your brains tonight, love?"

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"I love your brains...they're delicious!"

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

God, someone's going to bring up zombie blow jobs again.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Luna doesn't seem to be here right now.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

aw c'mon trayce, you know we love your ass.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

DON'T YOU BLAME MY LUNA FOR THAT!

(this is an excellent xpost)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a thing for Brazillian women.
You do the math.
(please, no 'thing' jokes)

She's not Tep. I think it's best that way.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:01 (twenty-two years ago)

brainshots?

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

XXX TEEN BRAIN

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

All right, all right, so it was all Ally's fault, then.

(Oops, you have the makings of a song there: "I have a thing for Brazilian women ... you do the math ... let's make lots of money.")

(Not a GOOD song, though.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

my brain as a teenager was fairly XXX

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

officially, I frown on this question as blah blah blah ASS DAMMIT ASS.

― Neudonym, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

UNCENSORED MIND FUCKING!!!!
Pic #1
Pic #2
Pic #3
Pic #4

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

My arse has been given the thumbs up, huzzah!

(umm... wait, that came out wrong...)

*waits for Dan to appear*

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I really needed to put actual links for those pics

Oh well

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan appears when you stick a thumb up your butt? I've never had any success with that summoning method.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:10 (twenty-two years ago)

UP YER BUM WITH A THUMB

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:10 (twenty-two years ago)

was it your left or right thumb? it makes all the difference, allegedly

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(This question is like asking "TS: Chocolate vs Fudge".)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah hes like little Jack Horner.

Oh god, someone just hand me a shovel, I'll finish digging this myself.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:11 (twenty-two years ago)

But it's already a dugout

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:11 (twenty-two years ago)

This question is like asking "TS: Chocolate vs Fudge".

Surely it depends on the amount of sugar.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

uh-huh honey honey

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Sticky, that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Pooh liked honey.

― Neudonym, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:26 (twenty-two years ago)

The proximity of pooh and honey in a thread about arses is really worrying me.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I misread the above as a misspelling of "poo-like honey", which would not be good eats even if Alton Brown demanded me under the threat of impending death to declare so.

The converse, "honey-like poo", is equally troubling. In this instance, better reach for the Immodium AD.

― Innocent Dreamer (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:35 (twenty-two years ago)

or the metamucil

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:35 (twenty-two years ago)

at least there's no beads on this arse thread

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Y'all are invoking me and pineapple zombie blowjobs, huh? Man, no rest for the wicked.

And anyway, ass.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally did it.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:55 (twenty-two years ago)

You can fondle ass.
You can't smack tits. (well, you could...)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 03:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally did not do it. Don't try and pin your crimes on her.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Or her ass. That would hurt!

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't said a thing about zombie blowjobs in WEEKS until right this very minute, ergo, Ally did it.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:16 (twenty-two years ago)

You started it, therefore anytime those words are uttered, we blame you. That's simply the way it is. Accept it, embrace it and love it. I know I do.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, I actually had that peach zombie blowjob left in the fridge when I was moving, and I didn't want to bring it with me -- who knows, the bits might've melted -- so I put it in the Large Box Of Perishables I bequeathed to the locals. They looked in it, looked at the blowjob, looked at me, and said, "that's one of those things you got in Little Vietnam, isn't it?" "Yep." "No one would ever drink one except you, you know." "Well." "What are we supposed to do with it?" "Fuck, I don't know. Mix it with rum. Give it to a party guest."

I suspect they've thrown it out.

(I left the weirdest things behind in my apartment, I realized in the days after I moved: duck confit and brie en croute in the bottom shelf of the fridge; a painting in a drawer, as well as two I didn't want to take off the walls cause I knew I wouldn't be able to without taking some wall with them; a lamp; a stereo; etc.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I missed ya, ya big galoot.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Ditto! It has been very odd being first ILX-less and then too-busy-getting-the-book-done-to-ILX. I read a bunch of Murakami books, though (okay, two), and discovered that Douglas Hofstadter is Bloomington faculty (did I post that already?), both of which seemed ... ILXish.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a confession. I tried the zombie blowjob yesterday. It was grape or something horrendous. The worst part about it was I couldn't stop thinking I may as well be giving a zombie a blowjob! By Tep's definition, I AM!!! which made me laugh and a little went up my nose.

Ew.

Zombie spooge in my nose.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

*masturbates furiously*

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

TITS ALL THE WAY.

I hope this clears up any confusion.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a confession. I tried the zombie blowjob yesterday. It was grape or something horrendous. The worst part about it was I couldn't stop thinking I may as well be giving a zombie a blowjob! By Tep's definition, I AM!!! which made me laugh and a little went up my nose.
Ew.

Zombie spooge in my nose.

This is probably the most important thing I have ever done, or ever will do.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 05:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Glad I could help.

I can still smell grape zombie spooge.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 05:12 (twenty-two years ago)

As can we all, in our own special ways.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 05:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"Mom, I made the world smell zombie spooge!"

She'll be so proud.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

**My tits are better than my ass.**

I agree with Ally. (although not about her tits & ass, just about my own. damnit this has all come out wrong!)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Tits & Ass; The Great Canadian Weekend.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 08:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Tits and Ass are ok but surely everyone prefers pussy.

http://www.honeybet.com/positively/kittens%20P%20King%20Lear%20and%20Regan.jpg

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:00 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is a gift from god....but which god?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

personally i prefer the puppies

http://www.kidzone.ws/animals/puppies.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:03 (twenty-two years ago)

for this thread God = DJ Assault

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

So are we after puppies or pussy? *winces*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:44 (twenty-two years ago)

actually i gotta tell ya, that pussy pic has really won me over

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Nothing like a good piece of ass!

http://www.probertencyclopaedia.com/j/Somali%20Wild%20Ass.jpg

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

(oh the things I had to look at to find that pic *shudders*)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

A nice pair of tits....

http://www.uct.ac.za/depts/fitzpatrick/images/rufbtits.gif

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Mmmm, nice tits!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Pacino OTM.

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://home.pacific.net.au/~jimdean/ga.gif

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

pinkpanther i am shocked

btw ass, whoa yeah smack dat as........hangs head in shame

― james (james), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so sorry, I will go to confession immediately.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i will accompany you - if only for the wine

― james (james), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay, then you can smack that as....father forgive me, as I have sinned.....

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread needs more 'production value'. < /Don Cornelius' character from Tape Heads >

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

What Matos said.

― Charles McCain (Charles McCain), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

the father of mine was once asked whether he was a tits man or a leg man.

He replied: "I'm more of a cunt man myself".

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

what a rude priest

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

*I* didn't say it! I'm just quoting someone else.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

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