Methods of demanding cunnilingus

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Purely hypothetical on my end, of course, but...

As we all learned on the "Gigli" thread, pointing at one's crotch, and saying "It's Turkey Time...Gobble, Gobble" is clearly not ideal.

So what is?

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Monday, 28 July 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

From the point of view of the demandee, "Hello" has always worked well for me.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Monday, 28 July 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Remind me to think of an alternative greeting when I meet Marcel.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 28 July 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd have to guess the best method is the one where one never has to ask.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 July 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours"
/PG version

― oops (Oops), Monday, 28 July 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

khia to thread, of course.

"i want you to eat my pussy right now" works wonders for me, i find.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ladies: Have you ever encountered a guy who won't go down on you? It's just that it's something I read in problem pages, or see female comedians making fun about, but whenever I bring up the subject, all my male friends say they adore doing it.

Ways to demand cunnilingus? Anyway you want, anyway at all.

On a tangent, I had a bizarre conversation once with a friend who claimed that eating fruit was 'dirty' (in an enjoyable way) because it was like cunnilingus. Never seen the connection myself.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

if he's referring to a peach, you probably want to get him help.

yeah i've never understood the male, uh, disdain for cunnilingus. like, every rapper ever to thread.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't think the turkey thing was all that awful honestly.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"Still Talkin' Shit," the definitive statement on said prejudice?

Teeny, test it out on your b/f and see what happens.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i've never understood the male, uh, disdain for cunnilingus. like, every rapper ever to thread.

'minds me of that line from Juvenile's "I Got The Fire":

Tiger Woods/But I won't/Eat no pussy/Cause I don't..."

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Teeny, test it out on your b/f and see what happens.

Oh I will, believe me! But not for another week, as he is away. :(

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i am going to try out the turkey line asap

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, when I was a teenager I couldn't keep my boyfriends (both of them) from doing it. That was always the first thing they wanted to try. (Actually, it was the second thing. The first thing they always wanted to do was see me naked.)

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it's the gift man gives himself.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

every rapper ever to thread.

except busta rhymes,
with that Jamaican girl who
didn't hook him up

― Haikunym, Monday, 28 July 2003 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"baby i wanna nibble on yr giblet"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"she said sixty-nine, i said sixty-eight and i owe you one"

― oops (Oops), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

every rapper ever to thread.

except busta rhymes,

...and the Beatnuts

― oops (Oops), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

say it with a .gif!

http://www.ezone.com/games/images/gamebuttons/turkey.jpg

― Aaron A., Monday, 28 July 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

A guy I used to be friends with once said that performing cunnilingus was like "lapping at a bowl of gravy."

― Mandee, Monday, 28 July 2003 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Jeez Louise!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

the actual taste of cunnilingus is closer to metal spoons dipped in butter

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you ever encountered a guy who won't go down on you?

yes

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

he didn't deserve you, etc etc.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

And who doesn't love metal spoons in butter?

― Mandee, Monday, 28 July 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

What reason did he give?

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I dated one guy who didn't like to do it. One birthday he decided to be generous and I realized his not going down was actually a good thing. . .

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, see THAT'S the problem, unless you're dating judge judy yr lady friend is not likely to tell you that you suck outright

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

that comparison is eerily accurate, strongo.

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

it is the truest thing my best friend has ever uttered

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Alternately, Dr. Laura.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

well between the two of them i think i'm off eating out for quite some time

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

most guys just aren't good at it, though we are mostly too polite to tell them.
i would never demand it.
i figure if he knows how to do it, he will, no words will be necessary (speaking hypothetically, of course).
if it's on the menu fine, but definitely not a deal breaker.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I've met several women (a few of whom I've dated and/or slept with, not all though) who actively disliked receiving head. A few are squeamish about other, um, bodily secretions that emanate from the vagina (the reason I suspect most straight men give for not liking to eat pussy as well) even when they're not a factor (i.e. most of the time), while others just get impatient with it--it doesn't get them off like dick does. Or, in one case, she just didn't want me to do it because she preferred women to do it--she'd never met a guy who'd done it right and wasn't about to let me make it a project to try.

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, cards on the table time, have any men or ladies experience the uh miracle of female ejaculation while uh dining out?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I have not

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Is this a Bobby Flay restaurant?

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"Waiter, what's your pussy du jour?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm Bobby Flay and you're watching Hot Off the Grill! Today, Jacqui Malouf is going to demonstrate the uh miracle of uh female ejaculation!"

"Thanks, Bobby!"

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

most guys just aren't good at it, though we are mostly too polite to tell them.

I really haven't found this to be true. Maybe I'm lucky or maybe y'all haven't been.

I have known people who wouldn't do it, or didn't want to anyway, so I said 'that's ok, sug, you don't and neither will I.' I'm all about teaching them if they want to learn; I look at it as a gift I give myself.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"So, Jacqui, explain to the viewers the concept of ejaculation."

"Well, Bobby, you could do that yourself if you could actually get your thing up."

"Oh, snap!"

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

thanx matos, i think my dick just turned black and shriveled up

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I aim (no not like that) to please

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't Jess, but I'd buy stock in whoever could make it happen. I've had a lot of partners who were great at it, guess I'm lucky. If the person doesn't get to it quick enough for me a great way to encourage them is to get into 69 position and start going down on them. They'll usually jump on board at that point.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

female ejaculation is overrated. a good cucumber soup is not.

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

was that cucumber used for anything else or is sometimes a cucumber just for soup?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"Today on Hot Off the Grill Jacqui and I are gonna make a cucumber soup with kind of an unusual flavor. Right, Jacqui?"

"Get that smirk off your face, you perv."

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm all about teaching them if they want to learn;

they better *know* what they're doing by the time they get down there.
otherwise they get tied up and taught a lesson ;-)

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"this soup sure is buttery."

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Kebab = cunnilingus substitute

― Dave B (daveb), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

how elementary school am I that I start giggling whenever I see that this thread and "Where is My Chinese Food At" near each other.

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"Today on Hot Off the Grill, Bobby's going to give Chinese food a special twist" [winks at camera] "with a little help from moi! Don't go away, we'll be right back after this commercial."

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Matos, I hope you have an office with a door.

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"OK, Jacqui, now that the office door is shut, give us some of that special ingredient for the cucumber soup..."

"OK, Bobby. Umm...oooh...ah...ah...AH...OH YES BOBBY YES!!!"

"Atta girl! [turns to camera] When we come back, the butteriest cucumber soup you've ever tasted. [winks] Don't go away."

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha Matos is...threadkilla!)

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

THIS TIME YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR...into hilarity

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

damn, bobby is fast

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

this is what they pay matos the big bucks for

― Pabst Blue Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Jacqui [wearing dazed expression]: "Mmmm. [pause] Oh hi there! Welcome to Hot Off the Grill. [draws on cigarette; slowly blows smoke into air at 45 degree angle] I'm Jacqui Malouf, and I'm exhausted. [turns to host] Bobby, that was damn fast." [Malouf faints]

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

This really should be called Hot On the Grill now. If the bastard can stand on his cutting board...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 July 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

you know, the beautiful thing that is cunnilingus is a bit tainted now

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

nobody mentioned that bizarre episode of The Sopranos where Uncle Junior goes ballistic and breaks up with the woman he has been dating, because she mentioned that he was good at cunnilingus to her friend and somehow it got back to the rest of the mob guys. Which they then roundly teased him over.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 28 July 2003 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

oh god, i remember that. maybe it signifies, like, servility or something.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 28 July 2003 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"Waiter, what's your pussy du jour?"

That's a line from a Prince song, right?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, and he doesn't want to slap her, but instead throws the cream pie into her face!

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

*blushes endlessly*

*races out of thread*

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I to understand that 'Gigli' is not a remake of 'Gigi'?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:29 (twenty-two years ago)

If the person doesn't get to it quick enough for me a great way to encourage them is to get into 69 position and start going down on them. They'll usually jump on board at that point.

this'd work for me initially, but truth be told i find it kind of distracting. also approaching cunny from that angle is none too efficient.

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

cunnilingus is a bit tainted now

Tainted? Like clams?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you mean "touted." As in "to solicit patronage in a brazen way."

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I to understand that 'Gigli' is not a remake of 'Gigi'?

I'm glad I'm not young anymore.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

is that a no?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Gigli, a lowly and inept hitman, is assigned a job by the mob to kidnap a mentally retarded brother of a California district attorney. Gigli abducts the brother from his mental hospital and holds him hostage in his apartment. Ricki, a "lesbian assassin", is sent to oversee Gigli's job and make sure he doesn't screw it up. Comedic high jinks ensue as the two go on the lam and start to fall in love.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG. My skin is crawling.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"GIGLI! While you were shooting at a goon was I somewhere out there mooning at your ass?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't believe in magic anymore.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:43 (twenty-two years ago)

please take this horror over to the actually gigli thread and let us try to revive this one

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

this'd work for me initially, but truth be told i find it kind of distracting. also approaching cunny from that angle is none too efficient.

Yes, but what a view!

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

you know, if we removed all the male posts from this thread it would be interesting! (sorry)

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

If we removed all the male posts from this thread, it wouldn't be happening.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

it would be a lot shorter, but more interesting
more information, less fiction

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

This entire thread nicely answers the previously posed question, "Is it possible to give bad cunnilingus?"

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, of course it is! But not for me.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(I guess that's what Orbit means by "fiction.")

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Jeanne Fury to thread already, damn it!

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

This entire thread nicely answers the previously posed question, "Is it possible to give bad cunnilingus?"

Yes. Details upon request.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"approaching cunny from that angle is none too efficient"

i am new to this word "cunny" and ask can this be used in polite conversation?

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

In spaghetti westerns, absolutely.

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

How about,

"Would you like to lick the pan?"

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I got this from Nina Rollins, sophomore year. I’m going down on her, and out of nowhere, her cat jumps on her stomach. She does this big ol’ pelvic thrust - cracks my tooth in half, sends it down my throat. I had to get a crown for the stub.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:24 (twenty-two years ago)

zombie blowjobs and chichi sex

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:25 (twenty-two years ago)

milo, that is incredibly great. how did you explain this to your family/dentist etc? (This is like that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode, but better)

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 29 July 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

That's from Chasing Amy.

I wish I had a cunnilingus story even one-tenth that cool.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"you got to lick it
(says that fine-ass bitch Gillette)
before we kick it"

― Haikunym, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

while we're, ah, down here i was wondering about some simple protocol.
if its winter, and cold, and you're keeping the blankets on, after how long is it acceptable to come up gasping for air. i know the effect you're having obviously has some bearing but...is 12 mins acceptable? with that excuse?

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Can't you lift up a side of the blanket near yr head for some fresh air?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

You don't need fresh air. Immerse yourself in love.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I have neither understood nor enjoyed under-the-blanket sex so I can't really help here. It seems like a big pain in the ass.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

It's true -- no sheets and a space heater is a much better route to go.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread has reawakened a certain paranoia. i have always enjoyed going down on a girl and my exes have never asked me to stop. my logic has been "well she's not complaining therefore she's enjoying herself" however i now ask how long will a woman put up with lame oral sex?

(perhaps i give lousy head!)

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

not long.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Can't you lift up a side of the blanket near yr head for some fresh air?

not without disrupting my flow! also where are her legs? and my arms?

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

SAME AS IT EVER WAS

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm gonna buy a space heater

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, cards on the table time, have any men or ladies experience the uh miracle of female ejaculation while uh dining out?

Uh... yes. Yes I have. ("I should warn you, sometimes liquid kind of shoots out," she said.) It was pretty cool.

― iyellex regularious, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

also where are her legs? and my arms?

Can you not tell? You've gone numb, and it's time to stop.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

It was pretty cool.

Grinning, evvious.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

envious.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

*gaz pokes head out from covers*

"This is not my beautiful wife!"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

My God! What have you done!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

lol

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:23 (twenty-two years ago)

And you may ask yourself, 'how do I work this?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, you'll definitely ask yourself that at some point.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

ah well *takes deep breat* into the blue again

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.divehouse.com.ar/images/tech%20snorkel%20air.jpg

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I think you mean this:
http://webpages.charter.net/ravendon/snorkel.jpg

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

The blue? What have you been doing down there?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope the next picture in the series involves that dude and a high heel in his face

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

as a matter of fact, i did mean that pic!

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I like his snorkling gear. He is, after all, making an appointment with the little man in the boat.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

And look how happy he is! He finally won!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:03 (twenty-two years ago)

o my. no way is the wife gonna let me in the bedroom wearing that! where can i get one?

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't need that gear, being a great lover of Thai fish sauce myself.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.pussysnorkel.com/

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Why oh why didn't I see this thread before! jeez!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 07:26 (twenty-two years ago)

If you win the monstermunch test then it's the prize! ha ha, this sounds so much worse than it is!!
James to thread!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 07:28 (twenty-two years ago)

U don't have to demand owt from me... I'm a minge monster!

― spoonered, Tuesday, 29 July 2003 07:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Emma doesn't even like it. Well, she does, but she prefers me not having lingus-breath more.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 08:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew Ew Ew, lingus breath!

I had an ex who loved it so much he'd go at it for hours, which was nice at first but there is a point you get to when you just want to get down to it, you know what I mean?

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 08:48 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.lincon.com/travel/aerlingus.jpg

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

whats the monster munch test?

― james (james), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it implies a certain level of pickled onion-ness that must not be exceeded.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a cunny connoisseur.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

The monster munch that turned your tongue either blue or green!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a cunny connoisseur.

Aren't we all? The question is, are you the type of guy that the cunny most prefers?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:27 (twenty-two years ago)

hahahaha god i totally forgot about that hahaha - what memories - that was such a cool game and such a cool prize - we need to find an alternative (that preferably involves food)

― james (james), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i eat da ass, i eat da pussy, i eat every mother fucking thang.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't work out whether you two are being excessively twee or unhealthily DURTY here.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I suggest, some sort of eating game, whoever eats the most of in the quickest time. Hmm, i've got my thinking cap on for later! Competition suggestions are most welcome!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:31 (twenty-two years ago)

heh heh! I guess you'll never know Matt! ;-)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:32 (twenty-two years ago)

What could be twee about "eating every mother fucking thang?"

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:32 (twenty-two years ago)

That was an x-post with Chris - I was talking about James and PP, obv.

The existing of the 'eating race' does not clear this question up in any way.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

A fascinating idea.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

(WATCH YER BACK CUN'LIGGERS - THE FELLATIO FELLAHS ARE ABOUT TO CATCH UP WITH YA ANY MINUTE NOW)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:49 (twenty-two years ago)

matt we bought some crisps that turned your tongue either blue or green, after selecting a pack of crisps (the aforementioned monster munch) we ate one

if the resulting colour change was blue then you recieved a prize from the green tongued one (if the colours were snap - well you can use tyour imagination, or not)

we now need a new competition as we are quite competitive

― james (james), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Come on then! A competition please!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

you guys are so fucking adorable.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you guys wait until Trig Bruv on Saturday?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Erm, well do we have to?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Method of demanding = just nod or wink at me with it on your mind, that'll prob'ly be enough.

Re: Strongo's "has anyone experienced female ejaculation while uh dining out?" question = yessireebob. Like, PROJECTILE. In my eyes and nose and everywhere; luckily she was enjoying herself to much to get upset with me for laughing out loud in astonishment. This was actually when that particular ladyfriend began referring to my goatee as a "flavor saver".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I have heard that you don't really feel this projectile stuff very much. Well, if you're a woman anyway.

If your partner isn't good at it, teach him how or make him stop. Or, uh, find someone new.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Method of demanding [cunnilingus] = just nod or wink at me with it

Clearly I should be a copy editor.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I love cunnilingus, personally. I hope I'm good at it. I'm not sure how I'd know if I weren't, but I've had lots of praise from most of the women I've had sex with, so I guess I shouldn't particularly worry. I've only known one woman who really didn't want it - as far as she was concerned, all oral sex was dirty and wrong.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

but that's why it's so fun!

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

mmmmmdirtyandwrong...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

as far as she was concerned, all oral sex was dirty and wrong.

Obviously, it was more to do with her own issues, then. Mental block can be hell for interrupting creative sex.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The Vice article on this subject was terrific and revolutionised my muff maddening technique. I am no longer the same man.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

still with the good cop/bad cop?

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Is there a link Colin?

Oh also there was a how to article in On Our Backs that was pretty good. I remember it saying that if your eyelashes weren't gooey you're doing it wrong.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

the recipient's eyelashes?

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I think women who say that don't like it all either haven't had a good partner or haven't learned how to relax. Or they could just be too self-conscious down there. Anyway, it's a cryin' shame I tells ya.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

that snorkel looks like something out of Dune.

"these...pockets...catch excess water."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

God has smiled down upon me with my last two boyfriends, bestowing upon me cunnilingus most divine. But my experience with it in high school was depressing. My boyfriend tried on several occasions but ... I dunno, maybe he was gay. He didn't get into it. When he started gagging at one point I told him to stop and never, ever try again.

― jewelly (jewelly), Thursday, 31 July 2003 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

MMMM, free goo.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 31 July 2003 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.sib.hb.se/norrland/homer_drool.gif

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 31 July 2003 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

Last week, after quite a night of boozing, my new lady friend and I returned to my apartment for some coitus. She asks me to go down on her, so I kneel back, grab her thighs and go for it. A little while into it she yells that she's about to come, and I'm thinking "Sweet." But, I had no forewarning that she was about to ejaculate all over my face. She grabbed me by my hair and I got blasted for what seemed like 30 seconds. After the initial shock wore off, we laughed about it and I felt lucky that she didn't get it in my eye.

― Anonymous Sexual Exploit Coward, Tuesday, 6 January 2004 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

OUTRAGEOUS!
http://www.angelfire.com/md/perkdaddy1/images/LionelRitchie.jpg

― Chris V (Chris V), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Sweet!:-)

― arf, Tuesday, 6 January 2004 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.sacrs.org.za/ecm21/gallery/surfing-01302858b.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

best sex thread ever, clearly

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

She grabbed me by my hair and I got blasted for what seemed like 30 seconds.

i am so jealous i could cry

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

It seems to me that, if you have to demand it, something's already fundamentally wrong.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i want to bring up "swing low" by the gossip just to upset andrew thames.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

time to pay the llama some lip service

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

jess's first post OTM

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 06:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear god I forgot about that whole Food Network thing.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

::beams::

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 06:45 (twenty-two years ago)

You were the kid at school whose teachers were always saying you needed to learn the difference between "good" and "bad" attention, weren't you?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 06:51 (twenty-two years ago)

This is really the best thread ever though. You kind of should be proud.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

You were the kid at school whose teachers were always saying you needed to learn the difference between "good" and "bad" attention, weren't you?

funnily enough, that's EXACTLY how I require a woman to demand cunnilingus, which brings us full circle

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

:::beams stupidly:::

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck no this is not the best thread ever. This is the thread that made July 29th the day I wanted to never give head again. Fuck you guys.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

blah blah blah blah blah

what's that you say TOMBOT?

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean when somebody revived this thread I was like "GOD DAMMIT WHY AM I STILL ON THIS BOARD"

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha lucky for me I don't like cunnilingus to begin with!!

xpost FUCK YOU MATOS MY FIRST REPLY TO "WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY" IS "YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME" AND NOW THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO THINK ABOUT DURING ORAL SEX.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:04 (twenty-two years ago)

my hands mysteriously smell like pussy tonight

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:06 (twenty-two years ago)

wow, I'm really confused now.

fiddo you fucking slag.

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Well let's call in Nancy Drew then, wtf!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:08 (twenty-two years ago)

sadly i am not bragging about anything

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:09 (twenty-two years ago)

seriously, as of the xpost "fuck you matos" stuff I don't know what you're talking about.

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:10 (twenty-two years ago)

but you're succeeding anyway fiddo

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:11 (twenty-two years ago)

The Hardy Boys??

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I know the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew only as things that exist, never read the books

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah this thread is definitely the CATS of going down on women. This is where I launch ZIG for great justice.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Matos you seriously don't know what "You have no chance to survive, make your time" means? For real? How am I a bigger dork than you? WTF?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck, it's 2 am isnt it? this is one of those epiphany moments.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

in order: no. for real. maybe because you were an AIM regular at 13 and I only discovered AOL for about six months when I was 19 maybe? who knows?

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

OH GREAT NOW GETTING DICK IS GOING TO BE REFERRED TO AS "ZIG" AND ORGASMS ARE NOW "GREAT JUSTICE" FUCK ALL OF YOU PEOPLE. Maybe I should just play the mP3 of the song from that every time I have sex now for the rest of time! Assholes!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

OH SNAP!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

ZIG!

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

haha double maybes

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

can my specific dick be referred to as "the great and powerful oz"?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom, I'm dead serious about the MP3 thing. Unless you want to be fucking to the tune of the gabba robots, you best stop it with this ZIG nonsense. SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB, SNAP!

Matos: http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/AYB2.swf

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I've seen that, yes, just didn't commit it to memory

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:19 (twenty-two years ago)

POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING POING

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:19 (twenty-two years ago)

FUCKING . . . HOSTILE!

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously Dan Perry's gonna be so pissed tomorrow that he has a wife that makes him go to sleep at a reasonable hour and shit like that tomorrow morning, that is for certain.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"metal dipped in butter" is a whitehouse b-side i think

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If I had a dick, I'd call it Gene Hackman.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

LARRY STABBINS

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd demand head by announcing it was time for a little French Connection if you get my drift.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

if they refused they would be the unforgiven

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:28 (twenty-two years ago)

"Honey, if you go down on me I promise you a little Poisedon Adventure in return"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:29 (twenty-two years ago)

so, how are the last days of your job going, Ally?

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I obviously care a lot about putting in a good effort and taking one for the team, what with my careful bedtime habits.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:32 (twenty-two years ago)

it's all worth it when you see the smiles on the chlldren's faces

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:34 (twenty-two years ago)

What?

― Ajazay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:35 (twenty-two years ago)

night john boy.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:38 (twenty-two years ago)

night pa, night ma

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:41 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread has been locked by an administrator

ps did we ever solve the mystery of the pussyhands??

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:41 (twenty-two years ago)

So this is what's been going on.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 07:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Sushi, I reckon.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahhh happy days! Classic thread!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 09:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"fiddo pussyhand"

porn spin-off?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Aha! All Your Base. Really glad that's having a comeback. If only GWB knew about it. Operation Great Justice would rock the house, Tikrit-style.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

BOW CAT

― Amazing Randy (Amazing Randy), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I call mine "the swayze"

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

But surely if you were that amazing you could do it yourself!
x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread makes for a wonderful late Christmas gift.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

his experience sounds like a mountain dew commercial.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

is there an equiv blowjob thread?

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Grab head, push down, grunt.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

That sounds suspiciously like "the swayze"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

when im really getting into it i change it to "bohdi". Then I wait for the 100 year storm to hit and I ride it out.

― Chris V (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh my.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Jeanne Fury to thread already, damn it!

-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), July 29th, 2003.

I must have been in jail or something to have missed this.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

here, Dan Savage consels a woman upset with her husband's self-wankery during heated sessions of carpet munching.

― Kingfishee (Kingfish), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

is there an equiv blowjob thread?

Grab head, push down, grunt.

penis get bitten, scream.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

revive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― r.v., Friday, 13 January 2006 00:34 (twenty years ago)

EAT THIS PUSSY!!

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Friday, 13 January 2006 01:48 (twenty years ago)

"metal spoons dipped in butter"

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Friday, 13 January 2006 01:54 (twenty years ago)

I am pissed that Haikunym never used that as the second line of one of his posts

― Mr Straight Toxic (ghostface), Friday, 13 January 2006 02:38 (twenty years ago)

haha i was wondering when i saw this thread title if i dropped the metal dipped in butter science

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 03:22 (twenty years ago)

I'm no expert but my experience reminded me more of a warmed up grapefruit than metal spoons dipped in butter.

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Friday, 13 January 2006 04:12 (twenty years ago)

grab head, push down, grunt
metal spoons dipped in butter
penis...bitten, scream

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 13 January 2006 04:15 (twenty years ago)

My thing is this:

Brits and Euros in general are pigs.

― Zygote, Friday, 13 January 2006 04:21 (twenty years ago)

every person I've mentioned jess's comparison to was like, "holy fuck, it's true!"

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 13 January 2006 04:26 (twenty years ago)

xpost OK Drew you do have a point there

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 13 January 2006 04:27 (twenty years ago)

I was making out with this chick, and she tells me, "Kiss me where it stinks." So I took her to New Jersey.

Hey!

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Friday, 13 January 2006 06:32 (twenty years ago)

tongue-fuck my cunt.

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Friday, 13 January 2006 06:34 (twenty years ago)

that thar's some good eatins! (ringing dinner triangle)

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Friday, 13 January 2006 06:37 (twenty years ago)

i licked butter off a metal spoon tonight while making pasta and had no sexy flashbacks. I'm not sure if I buy the analogy.

― Zwan (miccio), Friday, 13 January 2006 07:03 (twenty years ago)

I've never had a lady ask for it, since I always give it anyway (unless she declines, of course). And I've found the "buttery metal" metaphor totally adept ever since I first read it here. I've often asked my friends what would be a similar description for the taste of the male organ, but they've never reached a consensus.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 13 January 2006 08:24 (twenty years ago)

anthony the only part of your story i dont buy is you cooking

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 15:40 (twenty years ago)

xpost: if you're lucky, it tastes like soap residue.

― Surfer_Stone_Rosalita (Surfer_Stone_Rosalita), Friday, 13 January 2006 15:47 (twenty years ago)

Did your mom save 'drippings' in a coffee can in the fridge?

― Dan (I Can't Hold Out Any Longer) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 January 2006 15:51 (twenty years ago)

pussy does not taste like metal spoons dipped in butter.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:03 (twenty years ago)

do you have an alternative?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:04 (twenty years ago)

http://www.wtv-zone.com/Blulady/GIFS/8/88/kitten.jpg

― Dan (Tastes Like Chicken) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:05 (twenty years ago)

drew's warmed grapefruit theory is intriguing too, i must admit

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:05 (twenty years ago)

xpost

no, but i have never had to wipe my chin after licking a spoon.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:06 (twenty years ago)

well excuse me for not knowing what urine tastes like

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:06 (twenty years ago)

really though, METAL?!

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:09 (twenty years ago)

http://vi.uh.edu/pages/cdgraphics/tickspoon.jpg

― Dan (Jess At 17) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:09 (twenty years ago)

I think luna said once batteries coated with butter and I think that's pretty apt. there's just that metallic-hint. . .

never tasted warmed up grapefruit.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 13 January 2006 16:10 (twenty years ago)

This thread will be three years old in five and a half months.

― andy ---, Friday, 13 January 2006 17:58 (twenty years ago)

Asking what pussy tastes like is like asking what bread tastes like -- there's kind of a range!

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:17 (twenty years ago)

You know, rye pussy, pumpernickel pussy, asiago cheese pussy ...

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:17 (twenty years ago)

mmm challah pussy

― yvette yreka (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:22 (twenty years ago)

I ain't no challahback girl

― Dan (Gwen Stepunani) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:23 (twenty years ago)

haha

― yvette yreka (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:25 (twenty years ago)

Everybody -- please stay away from the yeast jokes.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:26 (twenty years ago)

"asiago cheese" just made me shudder.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:40 (twenty years ago)

rye pussy, pumpernickel pussy, asiago cheese pussy ...

"If you find any bread taste better than this,

http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/1996_From_Dusk_Till_Dawn/Thumb/996DTD_Cheech_Marin_002.jpg

EAT IT!"

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:52 (twenty years ago)

TS: rye pussy vs wry pussy

― Dan (How Droll) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:56 (twenty years ago)

none of you deserve to ever perform cunnilingus ever again

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 18:57 (twenty years ago)

Your vagina is safe from me.

― Dan (Can't Speak For Nabisco) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 January 2006 19:00 (twenty years ago)

nitsuh alread gave me head

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 19:00 (twenty years ago)

The work bathroom smells like metal spoons dipped in butter taste.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:16 (twenty years ago)

"Parkay!"

― Mr Straight Toxic (ghostface), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:30 (twenty years ago)

Eau de Alkali Flats

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:31 (twenty years ago)

http://www.thebeakretreat.com/images/photosteventylerhobbit.jpg

He said,
Ya ain't seen nuthin'
Till you're down on a muffin
then you're sure to be a changin' ways...

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:35 (twenty years ago)

ah yes, steve "my band got $2 million to play a bat mitzvah" perry.

― yvette yreka (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

TYLER

oops

― yvette yreka (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

What Journey songs make allusion to carpetmunching?

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:38 (twenty years ago)

i kind of get the metal spoon part, but whats with the butter?

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:42 (twenty years ago)

are we talking salted or unsalted butter?

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:44 (twenty years ago)

"I got that Peanut-Butter Pussy; smooth, brown, and spreadable."

(from the magnum opus that is Shakes the Clown)

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:46 (twenty years ago)

butter? marzinpan.

― Eazy (Eazy), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:46 (twenty years ago)

What Journey songs make allusion to carpetmunching?

Any Way You Want It?

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:47 (twenty years ago)

"Al-riiiiight
Alll niiiight!"

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 13 January 2006 20:48 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

You know, rye pussy, pumpernickel pussy, asiago cheese pussy ...
― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, January 13, 2006 6:17 PM (2 years ago)

― Eazy, Monday, 22 December 2008 04:34 (seventeen years ago)

nabisco as the Bunk

― ichard Thompson (Hurting 2), Monday, 22 December 2008 04:42 (seventeen years ago)

"Mr. Watson, come here. I want to see you."

― Charlie Rose Nylund, Monday, 22 December 2008 14:55 (seventeen years ago)

(not as good as the more common "I want you" or "I need you", which seem to be incorrect, alas)

― Charlie Rose Nylund, Monday, 22 December 2008 14:56 (seventeen years ago)

every rapper ever to thread.

I could go downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere
"You nasty Twin!" I don't care
Round here they call me Big Pun, hit you with the big gun
Thick tongue, known to make a chick come

― President Keyes, Monday, 22 December 2008 15:43 (seventeen years ago)

'pussy stank...but so do marijuana' doot dooo

― that karate douche (╓abies), Monday, 22 December 2008 17:04 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.teapartygirl.com/blog/files/2008/02/woman-licking-spoon.jpg

― StanM, Monday, 22 December 2008 17:15 (seventeen years ago)

Donald Hall has a book of poems called White Apples and the Taste of Stone, and I'm assuming this is about what I think it's about.

― Eazy, Monday, 22 December 2008 17:19 (seventeen years ago)

just plug your nose guys.. don't be a sissy. quit when you feel like it, and then use something other than your tongue duh.

― ❤ⓛⓞⓥⓔ❤ (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:50 (seventeen years ago)

And you were blaming your solo status on weight in the other thrad?

― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:51 (seventeen years ago)

thread.

― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:52 (seventeen years ago)

lol how do you do it when you're plugging your nose wtf? or do you pull a nose plug out of your pocket like it's the pool

― ill c u n may Schwwwwwww (harbl), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:58 (seventeen years ago)

he probably owns a pussy snorkel.

― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:58 (seventeen years ago)

loooooool

― ill c u n may Schwwwwwww (harbl), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:59 (seventeen years ago)

you never plugged your nose by just not breathing though it???

― ❤ⓛⓞⓥⓔ❤ (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:00 (seventeen years ago)

with respect if one is at the point where one can't deal with the smell one prob ain't ready to work down there

― Sherlock HOOS's Baker Steen Motherfuckers (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:04 (seventeen years ago)

also i keep seeing this thread title and thinking it is about more challenging ways of performing cunnilingus

― Sherlock HOOS's Baker Steen Motherfuckers (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:05 (seventeen years ago)

no waterfalls of pussy for lorax

― Merry Christuomas (electricsound), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:06 (seventeen years ago)

i can think of at least one way of performing cunnilingus that would be extremely demanding

― Merry Christuomas (electricsound), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:07 (seventeen years ago)

but will not post nsfw pix here

― Merry Christuomas (electricsound), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:07 (seventeen years ago)

if you want cunnilingus from a stubborn rapper or someone like me, i'm just saying you owe us. (that smell is strong as fuck)

― ❤ⓛⓞⓥⓔ❤ (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:08 (seventeen years ago)

Sounds to me like you've been eating out the wrong ladies ihmo.

― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:10 (seventeen years ago)

you may be on to something :/

― ❤ⓛⓞⓥⓔ❤ (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:14 (seventeen years ago)

Plugging the schnozz occupies the thumb and forefinger but leaves the rest of the hand in a strategic place. I think Lorax is on to something, playa.

― Eazy, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 05:52 (seventeen years ago)

ayo a TMI TMI TMI post follows TMI TMI TMI you been warned
TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI
TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI

capt maybe I'm completely a weird minority here but I'd always been under the impression that pussy is an acquired taste. i dig it, and have appreciated it across a number of gfs. log your practice time and you may find one day "hey i actually am pretty ok with this....hey this is kinda doin it for me!" just make it work for her at first, and maybe it'll be like working in the mines for a minute, but i suspect eventually you will appreciate the pussy in itself. pussy qua pussy if you will.

END TMI

― Sherlock HOOS's Baker Steen Motherfuckers (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 07:01 (seventeen years ago)

chelives1986 (10:59:06 PM): i am currently giving captain lorax cunnilingus

― The Reverend, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 07:19 (seventeen years ago)

maybe it'll be like working in the mines for a minute

― Lingbert, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 07:22 (seventeen years ago)

(18:17:55) PappaWorkie: hoos, srsly, how do you feel about the chatz chelives1986 (10:59:06 PM): i am currently giving captain lorax cunnilingus meme?
(18:18:17) chelives1986: pw to be frank i am down with this meme as i love any and all memes
(18:18:30) tigerlillygrrl: good cause you're going to be giving
(18:18:34) tigerlillygrrl: cap lorax head
(18:18:38) tigerlillygrrl: for the rest of yr life

― chelives1986: i am currently giving captain lorax cunnilingus (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, December 23, 2008 2:19 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 07:24 (seventeen years ago)

XD omfg

― Sherlock HOOS's Baker Steen Motherfuckers (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 07:25 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.edwardtufte.com/tufte/graphics/Pg293.gif

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 07:27 (seventeen years ago)

it is pretty funny that you felt the need to put so many TMI warnings on a post on this thread, Hoos....

― Maria, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 14:36 (seventeen years ago)

― Mark G, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 16:17 (seventeen years ago)

yeah that occurred to me after the fact xp

― Sherlock HOOS's Baker Steen Motherfuckers (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 16:23 (seventeen years ago)

but then i don't talk about my sex life on the internet as a matter of course

― Sherlock HOOS's Baker Steen Motherfuckers (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 16:24 (seventeen years ago)

I'm proud to be a meme,
Where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the man who lied,
To give cunnilingus to me,

And I proudly lay down, next to him, and defend his right to be gay,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love chelives, god bless the pussy, che.

― ❤ⓛⓞⓥⓔ❤ (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 21:12 (seventeen years ago)

I think it's best to be casual, like, "hey, pass me that cunnilingus over there." That way the other person will just do it without thinking. If you act too pushy, though, they'll probably get cagey, like, "fuck you, man, I'm gonna keep it for myself." The thing is, it might come in handy.

― Bored American Aerospace Defense Command (BORAD) (contenderizer), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 21:41 (seventeen years ago)

I can't think of any occasion where somebody has had to ask me for head. If anything I've been asked to stop mucking around down there.

― La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l’on n’a pas (Michael White), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 22:18 (seventeen years ago)

referring to it as mucking probably didn't help

― Merry Christuomas (electricsound), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 22:41 (seventeen years ago)

referring to it as mucking probably didn't help

http://img3.ifilmpro.com/resize/image/stills/films/resize/istd/2811048.jpg http://topkool.free.fr/images_seriestv/manimal01.jpg

― Charlie Rose Nylund, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 23:17 (seventeen years ago)

That's like a rebus that I just can't solve.

― Eazy, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 23:39 (seventeen years ago)

I don't know any guys who dislike this either. Mind you I have noticed really varying results when I do this....no idea why, my technique seems the same yet have had experiences where girl seemed to have zero interest and experiences where girl went crazy v quickly.

― Local Garda, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:10 (seventeen years ago)

THIS JUST IN: ALL WOMEN NOT THE SAME. STAY TUNED TIL 11 FOR DETAILS.

― One Community Service Mummy, hold the Straightedge Merman (Laurel), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:20 (seventeen years ago)

haha yeah okay...

― Local Garda, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:21 (seventeen years ago)

(what are these details at 11)

― Local Garda, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:22 (seventeen years ago)

THIS JUST IN: ALL WOMEN NOT THE SAME. STAY TUNED TIL 11 FOR DETAILS.

― One Community Service Mummy, hold the Straightedge Merman (Laurel), Wednesday, December 24, 2008 11:20 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am prepared to wait 11 hrs + 40 minutes

― Pope Bend + Dick XVI (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:22 (seventeen years ago)

Sorry, Ronan, I couldn't resist!

― One Community Service Mummy, hold the Straightedge Merman (Laurel), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:31 (seventeen years ago)

she's lying you know

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:32 (seventeen years ago)

Sounds to me like you've been eating out the wrong ladies ihmo.

Sounds to me like you've been eating ladies out of the wrong hole.

― Eggwhite Mandrop (libcrypt), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:33 (seventeen years ago)

no such thing

― Merry Christuomas (electricsound), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:39 (seventeen years ago)

ihmo?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:42 (seventeen years ago)

in her muff obv

― Pope Bend + Dick XVI (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:43 (seventeen years ago)

ha that's okay Laurel...who knew!

― Local Garda, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:47 (seventeen years ago)

steve albini feeds his cat comic to thread

― Merry Christuomas (electricsound), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:51 (seventeen years ago)

That's like a rebus that I just can't solve.

"I want to muck you like a..."

― Charlie Rose Nylund, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 01:11 (seventeen years ago)

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