sexual explicitness v. sexual reticence FITE!

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preliminary note: this is not an attack on any particular poster here!

i guess i must be a bit more prudish than i've previously assumed. i'm amazed sometimes with how sexually explicit some ILXors are about their amorous romps and likes and all. i'm not really grossed out, or think any the worse of anyone for it. i just note it because, even in an anonymous forum like this, that kind of thing just isn't what i do.

< / joe lieberman>

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Tad, please keep the words "Joe Lieberman" at least 15 feet away from any word having to do with "sex" at all times. Thanks.

― amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I've seriously considering stripping (for money as opposed to just the thrill of it). You expect me to answer this seriously?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't do it (I make jokes, I don't actually reveal anything), but it doesn't ever really surprise me. Sometimes "willingness to talk about one's sex life at the drop of a hat" comes across more like "attempting to be interesting by talking about one's sex life at the drop of a hat," but that's not true on ILX the way it is elsewhere. Especially online.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

most unnecessary ilxplicitness yet:
http://www.antoniobanderasfans.com/antonio.gif

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Tep=OTM in my particular case. The very few tales of my sexual exploits that I share here are about the only interesting stories I have, other than the ones I have about the times I've pissed on things.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, i like strippers well enough :-)

anyway, i actually kind of respect people who talk openly and freely about their sex lives and desires. not to the point of "i'm gonna rub my sex life in yer face" militance, which is tedious and turgid (like any other form of grandstanding). but those who respond openly to sexually-oriented themes and threads are OK by me (even if i get a little squeamish reading some of the posts!)

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

PRUDISH!? Somebody who has "Dinah Moe Humm", "Jewish Princess" and "The Torture Never Stops" on heavy rotation! I don't believe you!

― dave q, Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i used to talk openly about my sex life. but somewhere along the line, i developed a prudish streak. i have a creeped out fascination with people who talk about their sex lives in detail.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Something tells me the most outspaoken people on ILX haven't even *begun* to talk about their sex lives in detail.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I've seriously considering stripping (for money as opposed to just the thrill of it). You expect me to answer this seriously?

At least you're in the right place. Just don't go work for Pantera's strip joint.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

< /halo>

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

don't come looking for work in dunedin, either. strippers don't get paid dick unless they work in the parlour upstairs, gah double entendre.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Sex? Did someone say sex?

― jewelly (jewelly), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I was thinking, you know you guys don't know jack about *my* sex life. I just like talking about sex you know. and having it and thinking about it. . .

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm perhaps the most prudish of you lot and I'm not terribly bothered by the frank sex talk. Sometimes my jaw really does drop open and my eyes do widen and I do feel as though maybe I shouldn't have opened whatever thread I did open, but hey, we're (presumably) all adults around here and it's your life, not mine, so I just stay quiet about how shocked I am and try as hard as I can not to be as shocked the next time around.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I was thinking, you know you guys don't know jack about *my* sex life. I just like talking about sex you know. and having it and thinking about it. . .

Soul-sisters...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

me three.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

First thought in my head: we totally need to get a three-way going... then realize if I post that, I have to qualify it with 'phone call'.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

more frank talk, please. it helps me understand how other people think.

as for my stories, i don't really have any. hell, my last relationship was about 3.5 years ago...

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i guess it helps some people, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. i'm getting a bit tired of seeing women being objectified and treated as nonhumans around here, but to point that out seems like setting yourself up as the bad guy.

― whatever, Thursday, 7 August 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

you're right. Guys, we should objectify ourselves much more.

who's first?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 7 August 2003 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i guess you think it's a joke and don't care about the feelings of other people on this board. fine.

― whatever, Thursday, 7 August 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

why don't you go and make wildly inaccurate generalisations elsewhere?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 7 August 2003 23:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I have seriously been trying to objectify the guys as much as I can (or at least the cute ones).

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 7 August 2003 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the smutty direction ilx0r's taken, but then again, I have a thing about hearing others talk in fuckin' awesome gory living-color detail about their sexual experiences

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 7 August 2003 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

If yr talking about specific women, don't worry we can take care of ourselves. It's mostly bullshit anyway.

If you mean in general, well hell, I've never known this board to be inoffensive. That's why I love it.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm getting a bit tired of seeing women being objectified and treated as nonhumans around here

Object of desire = nonhuman? I think we're all being *very* human. Human is fun and sticky and often dirty, and I'm sorry if you think that means we secretly all hate one another. You're wrong.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

These days I really don't know where I stand on this anymore. I'm definitely pro-frankness, though I'm not necessarily pro-luridness. I dunno.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Sam who you talkin' to? And when will this thread provide me with the voyeuristic pleasure I so richly deserve?

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, J0hn, this thread is about all the naughty talk on some of the other threads. Shooting/dribbling, mastrubation, etc. Check 'em out!

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

See! Sam's sex toy collection
Hear! men discuss the consistency of their ejaculate
Thrill! to the sound of Placido Domingo

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

done and done, but the whole idea is that there can't be too much of a great, great thing

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

ILE was overexplicit BEFORE this sudden surge of sex topics, so I really don't know what to think now.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 8 August 2003 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Then post something to those threads, J0hn! Give us five minutes, we'll be ready to talk sex again.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

And we'll be totally in control this time, we promise.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Also we'll mention if the condom breaks. Really. Scout's honor.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

John I was talking to whomever posted anonymously above.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 01:03 (twenty-two years ago)

no you guys it ruins the voyeur effect if I start posting anything besides "really, the hell you say?" or "do go on"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 8 August 2003 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

This one time, at clown camp--

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 8 August 2003 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I just got a spam from someone asking me to "please read more sex now."

― Asymmetric Cocktails (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 8 August 2003 02:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmmm. I am, undoubtedly, one of the people that could be/is considered to be overly sexually explicit. I have no problem with others being the same way and rather enjoy talking about sex and sexual matters ... it would appear that this is a rather non-repressed group of posters, and that is a good thing. If someone doesn't want to read the posts, then they don't have to. I know that there are some that I skip. And I expect that some people skip mine.

Basically, so long as no-one is outed or mentioned (by name or obvious reference) who doesn't want to be mentioned, then go for it.

I do tend to post to the sexual-topic threads more than others - because that is what interests me at the moment and I have an odd enough background and current life that I feel as though I contribute some interesting stories and viewpoints. Much the same as the fact that I contribute to the threads on literature, too.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 02:39 (twenty-two years ago)

no you guys it ruins the voyeur effect if I start posting anything besides "really, the hell you say?" or "do go on"

You need to give us a new topic, J0hn, so we can pontificate abstractly upon it, and perhaps project our own experiences on it. Otherwise, it will turn into the kind of cock farming that Tad fears, and we all kind of agree is unnecessary.

So I'm fuckin' this bitch, right...

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

To be frank, the smuttiness is really getting old.

― Mandee, Friday, 8 August 2003 03:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I think all of us have better things to talk about/say than how many people we've boned, in how many different ways.

― Mandee, Friday, 8 August 2003 03:57 (twenty-two years ago)

to the anonymous poster: i want to know what you mean. please provide examples. it helps to remember that ilxers talking about their own sex lives is quite different from people posting porn. (which leads into an entirely different debate)

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I would just like to say that I was not the anonymous poster!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i am paranoid that everyone thinks that its me, too.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

all the not-too-recent talk about wanting some hot young female thang lick yer privates and you say yer prudish?!?

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

whoops, meant not-too-long-ago. and comment was directed at Di!

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Query: Please define "smuttiness" ... does it only refer to descriptions of sexual experiences or does it also apply to sexual thoughts and so forth?

(Not being argumentative here, I am just desiring to know what the limits are that you feel comfortable with reading and talking about.)

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i think there's too many threads on hip hop and r&b but i don't create new threads to whine about it

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

*laughing* Actually, that is a good point, esoj. Maybe if the sexual-content was restricted to topic-specific threads (thought I realize that's a virtual impossibility given the ability of some of us to derail the most vanilla conversation) it would cause less offense?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not whining, esoj. i created the thread more because i'm curious about why some people are comfortable being frank about sex and others aren't. if others see it as an invitation to whine, then that's their prerogative/interpretation/problem.

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm getting a bit tired of seeing women being objectified and treated as nonhumans around here
Object of desire = nonhuman? I think we're all being *very* human. Human is fun and sticky and often dirty, and I'm sorry if you think that means we secretly all hate one another. You're wrong.

-- Kenan Hebert

Totally. Mr. Anonymous makes it seem like the women are not complicit in the sex talk. In case you didn't know, women like sex.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry Tad i didn't mean that you were whining

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Hm, I dunno, maybe it's because I'm drunk and feeling rambunctious, but the pervy threads seem to exclude most people. It seems to be the same people over and over again who contribute to these types of "discussion." I'm not really for anything that excludes a large amount of people.

And I might be prudish, too, because I think these things should be kept to oneself. It's obnoxious to reveal too much. Keep it to yourself, for christ's sake.

― Mandee, Friday, 8 August 2003 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

no-one's telling you you shouldn't keep your own secrets. but no-one should be told to keep their own.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:19 (twenty-two years ago)

(ugh bad grammar)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Who's excluding anyone? I don't feel excluded by, say, a thread about Raphaelite painting, I just don't post to it. If you're not interested in the thread topic, or don't feel it should be discussed, that's fine but you are being actively excluded.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

D'oh! ARE NOT being actively excluded

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Mandee, I am not trying to be obnoxious or argumentative here, so please don't read this like that (I love writing disclaimers).

You say that it's obnoxious for people to reveal too much. I do not disagree, in general. But I've no problem with people revealing lots about their sex lives and experiences ... I get annoyed with other 'intimate' topics, though, so I avoid those threads/conversations. I guess I am asking if your discomfort is limited to sexual conversations or if it is extended to other topics as well?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I think all of us have better things to talk about/say than how many people we've boned, in how many different ways.

But that's not what we're doing. We're talking about sex, not bragging about it. And this whole thread is designed to explore why that's fine with some people and not others. We don't mean to make people feel excluded... hell, I feel excluded from 3/4 of the threads around here. Asking people to stop talking about sex is like asking people to stop talking about New York.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

...or hip hop, or pitchfork, or FAPs in some distant country...

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I think people should stop talking about New York too.

― Mandee, Friday, 8 August 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Tyrant!

(kidding)

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I actually think it's generally better when people talk about their sex lives (especially in the way Laura does) -- it allows others to think "oh, I'm not a freak" and other such thoughts, and shows the diversity of experience and attitude towards sex (which is, I think, largely ignored by mainstream media), and, at its best, gives people new ideas to try out (and gives folks like J0hn a semi-illicit thrill).

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

My discomfort is extended to most topics save for beach volleyball.

― Mandee, Friday, 8 August 2003 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

...which is a topic that makes me profoundly uncomfortable. Yet I think somehow we can find a way to get along.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I hven't seen you starting any beach volleyball threads. What are you, ashamed?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:29 (twenty-two years ago)

So....how many people have y'all spiked?

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Zero.

*dick goes limp*

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I am just that obsessed, Kenan.

― Mandee, Friday, 8 August 2003 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

again, i like the frankness because i like to know what _really_ goes on in other people's heads, since it helps me get out of mine. I don't think we're overly lurid, since there's only been a handful of literotica.com-type posts, and most of it is done in cheeky fun.

we do have the power to control the tone of where we go. For example, the strong mix of luridness & objectification that would go into whatshisface's posts over on ILM about certain washed-up pop types that he apparently still holds a torch for, even tho they're past their sell-by-date by, oh, six or seven years--those would get reported & shut down pretty quickly as the annoyances(maybe?) that they were.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, and just to make sure that this thread maintains the right tone:

http://www.atarihq.com/tsr/nes/ssv.jpg

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry to put an end to your erection, Kenan.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank god for that. Is that on a LOCKER?

― Mandee, Friday, 8 August 2003 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

That's an Atari game.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks Chris *smile*

I think that I missed whatever the programming was that said I should keep sexual issues quiet or keep them back except for with intimates. For me, sex is one of the better things in this world (after cuddling and emotional intimacy and a few other things), and it's something that I enjoy talking about ... very much like I enjoy talking about food and restaurants and recipes and books and authors and road trips. These are things that I find joy in and I want to learn about them from others and to share my experiences as well.

I know that I'm fairly far-out in the spectrum as far as sexual desires and interests and experiences are concerned ... but not as far out as one might think. Lots of us have sexual desires that we don't talk about (yep, even me) but by seeing others comfortable with the topics we may feel better about these thoughts and more at ease talking about them with our partners, too.

Basically, I want everyone to be comfortable with themselves as sexual beings, regardless of orientation and interests and experiences. To not be comfortable with this part of being alive seems to me to be a horrible loss of wonderful experiences. On the other hand, I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable (judgmental is fine, thought) with their desires or thoughts or with having to read what I have written. Believe it or not, I actually tame down a lot of my responses. Maybe I need to increase that censoring.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Ms Laura, I want to come on your tummy.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

(Um... did I just cross a line?)

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

*laughing* What line?

(WARNING: SEXUALLY EXPLICIT STATEMENT FOLLOWS!)

It's an interesting desire. However, I am far too much of a top to get off on that ...now if you wanted to come on my toes and lick it off, then that might arranged *cackling*

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Only if I can scrub your feet first. But ok, fine. I'll be accomodating.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Hell yes! Foot scrub followed by foot massage with foot lotion and a pedicure. Then we'll talk.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

wasn't all this a scene in _Caligula_, the one with all the foot-scrubbing and other hygiene care?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Hygiene is hot, man. I love bathing as foreplay.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

some people are perfectly comfortable with their sexual beings without talking about it overly much, you know. some people are just by nature understated period. i don't think that talking bluntly about sex is necessarily indicative of whether or not someone is comfortable with their sexual desires. just read some penthouse forum-style porn-lit if you don't believe me.

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

All that soaping-up and suds and finding all of the crevases and sentitive parts .... yippee!

(x-post with Tad) - that's an excellent point.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:00 (twenty-two years ago)

No, it's true, Tad. We're not accusing anyone of being a prude, or never being able to hold a marriage together or anything.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

what _really_ goes on in other people's heads

Kingfish you may get this from some (Ms Laura for instance) but I don't doubt that there's at least as much posing and fronting here than anywhere else sex comes up in discussion.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

*nobody* wants to know what *really* goes on in my head

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Well now I do.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:16 (twenty-two years ago)

*esoj readies brain-slice for thermal imaging*

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:25 (twenty-two years ago)

http://sdrc.lib.uiowa.edu/preslectures/andreasen93/images/FIGURE_1.gif

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:27 (twenty-two years ago)

there's two hobgoblins dancing and holding hands in your brain!

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:34 (twenty-two years ago)

they're assgoblins

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

i am pulling my collar away from my neck in classic steam-releasing fashion

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm. My posts aren't coming off as rubbing my sex life in other people's faces, are they?

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:50 (twenty-two years ago)

not so i've noticed

i'm more upset that the people offering it up are thousands of miles away

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

(that sounded shockingly bad)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but that's part of why they are, isn't it?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

fair point

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

And you didn't sound bad at all. Pretty fair response, I think.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 8 August 2003 05:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry I can't be there for you, Jim.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:01 (twenty-two years ago)

soon millar will perfect his remote jizz technique and we can all benefit from his years of research

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:03 (twenty-two years ago)

eewwww. is that related to his shitting in other people's pants remotely technique?

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:05 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, it's a love/hate relationship.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Except MUUUUCH nicer.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Dammit. . .

Let me say this. . if anyone ever had reasons to be hung up about sex, it's me. I've fought long and hard for my own level of comfort with sexuality and now, as I find it, I'm sure the hell not going to hide it.

You don't want to hear about it? Fine. That's your right. DON'T CLICK ON THREADS THAT HAVE 'MASTURBATION' AND 'WARNING WARNING' IN THE TITLES. jesus.

I'm not going to be subdued and bite my tongue over things I think are great. Namely: masturbation, sex toys, blow jobs and anal sex. I think these are some of the best things ever next to good music and alcohol and I will sing their praises to everyone.

I'm not sorry if you disagree with me or are made uncomfortable b/c different strokes for different folks you know? Why should I keep quiet about things I love? shit.

(btw, MsLaura is my idol. I think she's the bee's knees.)

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:08 (twenty-two years ago)

agreed - it's not like the sex threads are misleadingly titled, I've steered clear of the masturbation one (thought I did accidentally look at the dribbling/shooting one cuz I thought it was about basketball).

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:21 (twenty-two years ago)

James, no offense, but you are a moron. Something titled "dribbling vs. shooting" on ILx being about sports? PLEEZ.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

no offense, but you are a moron.

shit like that makes me laugh every time

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought it might be some dullish metaphorical "team player vs gloryseeker" thing myself

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:27 (twenty-two years ago)

surely you mean gloryholeseeker

< /smut>

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I would've clicked on it earlier in that case

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Sam, again, I kiss you.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You pick where.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:wMO8-LDUnYoC:www.therealnews.co.uk/pinktriangle1.gif

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

*breaking out the ol' lawn chair*

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Have fun by yourself out in the backyard!

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:36 (twenty-two years ago)

oh luna, it's so warm and lovely here in hell.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

So much like Texas in August!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

''(thought I did accidentally look at the dribbling/shooting one cuz I thought it was about basketball).
-- nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (littlejohnnyjewe...), August 8th, 2003. (later)
James, no offense, but you are a moron. Something titled "dribbling vs. shooting" on ILx being about sports? PLEEZ.
-- Texas Sam (dallasdeadgir...), August 8th, 2003. (later)''

er, no sam. I had no idea what that thread was abt (was actually going to go on to that one) and i think that's perfectly ok.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio and James need to pay more attention to the zeitgeist of ILx and realize it's all about THE PERVE!

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

well, most ppl can mistake what that threads are abt from the title.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:41 (twenty-two years ago)

ilx is in it 'third act of beyond the valley of the dolls' phase right now

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Soon we will get to the part where the morals are spelled out for us. "And Z-Man..."

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:43 (twenty-two years ago)

blount- is that the one where the creeps take over?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, I can't believe what a horny perve I'm coming off as and I've been getting laid like every night for the past month!!!

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:44 (twenty-two years ago)

''anyway, i actually kind of respect people who talk openly and freely about their sex lives and desires. not to the point of "i'm gonna rub my sex life in yer face" militance, which is tedious and turgid (like any other form of grandstanding).''

yeah that's pretty much it.

I think it depends whether how funny or informative the poster is abt it when ans the q.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Thankyou my fellow moron James! I thought it was another football thread! I think I'd just been reading the 'transfer speculation' thread when I saw it.

The thread I thought it was could have easily been titled "They done too much fanny dangle." Just like this one.

(NB I don't mind what ppl talk about as long as it doesn't create too toxic an atmosphere, and sex threads on balance don't I think. I read threads to find out stuff, and to find out about people. Some people come out of threads looking better to me, some looking worse, but for another reader that might be totally different.)

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 8 August 2003 06:53 (twenty-two years ago)

*breaking out the ol' lawn chair*

And attaching the weather balloons to it? (If you were female, we'd be able to look up your dress while you were floating up in the air.)

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Friday, 8 August 2003 07:02 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, I would totally think that dribbling vs shooting was about sports. Oh well.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 8 August 2003 08:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i did too, until i read this thread. tis a rare moment of naivete for me.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 8 August 2003 08:23 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG, you guys are SO clueless!

― Ihadnoclueeither (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 08:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I find it a bit ott from some people, but I seldom read such threads anyway, it's easy to avoid them. I don't think it's even reticient not to discuss your sex life around here, it is a public forum afterall. Also I'm male which makes it not worth discussing around here most of the time.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 8 August 2003 08:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that in theory it's fine to discuss your sex life (or sex in general) in all the detail you fancy here, but that in reality all the threads end up more or less with the same people saying the same things or making essentially the same one-line quips over and over with slightly different wording -- which is boring but keeps (some) people fascinated because it is ABOUT SEX!!

It's fair to compare this to other topics that have been over-discussed here, like Pitchfork or whathaveyou, and I think that applies but you'll also note that there aren't six threads about Pitchfork started each day and that when they are the majority of posters tend to think about what they're saying and make insightful responses. I find that with the sex threads a lot of posts are made, but not a lot is said, or what *is* said is just joking over and over.

So I guess what I think is that it's OK to have sex threads in which sex would be actively discussed & not just coyly hinted at (wherein yes contributers would have to reveal things about themselves or about what they actually *think* -- not simply joke around SOME of the time) which would then make a reasonable discussion & cut down on the quantity of sex threads started which is getting a tad absurd. On the other hand, i think the number of people willing to make crude jokes is much greater than the number of people willing to reveal true things about themselves sexually (how they think or how they are), so perhaps it wouldn't work in the end.

― hmmm, Friday, 8 August 2003 09:00 (twenty-two years ago)

But the Nick Southall/RJG exchange on that thread is a thing of much wonder and beauty and has redeemed the whole rest of the thread.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 8 August 2003 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmmm mostly OTM.

I think that applies but you'll also note that there aren't six threads about Pitchfork started each day and that when they are the majority of posters tend to think about what they're saying and make insightful responses.

The FAP threads would be a better comparison. Getting together to talk about sex and flirt is no worse than getting together to share endless inside jokes. It's just friendliness, really.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 8 August 2003 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a little surprised by the acceptance of Calum type threads like the Reese Witherspoon one -- if people are fine with it, why was Calum so terrible and hated?

As far as the sex talk threads go, for some people ile seems to be their only sexual outlet so let them have at it.

― Larcole (Nicole), Friday, 8 August 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

the difference is almost entirely that Calum's threads were strangely devoid of a recognisable sense of humour.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm but starting a thread about reese witherspoon naked, theres little humour in that. i mean the actual starting of the thread, there wasnt even a message to start it off. it ended up quite funny for a while due to the posts that were made subsequently, but in the actual concept there isnt much sense of humour involved, and that goes for most threads, calum or not. i guess i just think threads are what you make of them, even if they start with an above average idea they can end up crap, and vice versa. so is calum really much worse than the rest of us? hes clearly gained a reputation, that dates back to before my arrival on this board and that i dont know much about, but if we are going to slam all threads that are "devoid of a recognisable sense of humour" when started, then a lot of threads are gonna get slammed.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 8 August 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I think ILX has had plenty of "hubba hubba" threads. Calz' were nearly always explicitly either "God you'd have to be desperate to..." or "X is hotttt unlike that minger..." or "I know she's thick but you would wouldnt you" - i.e. attraction as an excuse to belittle/hate. Mind you I've not looked at the Witherspoon thread so I don't know if it's like that or not.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 8 August 2003 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

theres no belittling of reese on that thread, as i stated i actually think shes far more than a pretty face. from what you've stated, Calz line of conversation could fit in pretty well in most pubs/clubs/meeting places up and down the uk. sure, i dont find it particularly remarkable and i think it displays a lack of invention, and sure i wouldnt make him a friend if that was all he was capable of in real life (of course he might be far better in real life), cos i need people who are gonna make me laugh. but can anyone really say that they are any more remarkable than calz. im not particularly remarkable, in fact a lot of you probably find me dull. i got a few friends who i can make laugh, and they make me laugh, but mostly im just sittin on my ass waitin for uni to start. and im happy like that. and i well imagine calz can probably make a few people laugh too. its just all a matter of taste, and we can't objectively say that our taste is better than others. so isnt the best solution just to let people say what they want on ilx and if its boring to us, then we just ignore it?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 8 August 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

no.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 8 August 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

That was such a boring thing to say RJG, I'm ignoring you now.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

what can I do to make you laugh me?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

at/with?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

HEY GIMME A BREAK MAN YOU'RE ALWAYS PICKING ON ME AND I CAN'T STAND IT.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

take a photo of yourself in the same outfit and pose as banderas in the photo at the top of the thread. crotch-stuffing isnt a necessity, but banderas seems to have gone for it, so its there as an option. that might make me laugh.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

chill dude, i still laugh you

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

RJG just wants to be laughed.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

In theory yes Bob in practise the difference between ILX and a pub is that everything that gets said sits there for ages and ages especially if it's in a subject line. The similarity between ILX and a pub is that in every pub I've ever known the landlord(s) have the right to bar people if they're turning the environment ugly.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

he laughs himself alright

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but no one here is puking all over your cigarette stained carpet tom! if anything the fact that you can see the subject line, with appropriate warnings if necessary, means ilx is like a pub where you can choose to ignore the ugly violent thug that wasted all his giro coming down from canvey island for the day. you can completely shut him out. i still agree with the policy of no pornography though, i still think theres a line, and that sort of stuff should be saved for more appropriate message boards. but as far as actual words go, i dont see the need for censorship

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

The argument ultimately runs into the usual buffer, which is that the only thing that offends the libertarian mind is people being offended. We try to make the trade-off between 'say anything you like' and 'piss off community members so much that they want to leave' such that the maximum number of people stick around and keep posting. The best way of doing this I reckon is to be as open as possible about who we're deleting stuff by and why, which we try and do.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:26 (twenty-two years ago)

once the policy is fairly fixed then there's no need to feel bad about it, we don't have to be an all encompassing UN shelter, it's not ruling that many people out really to delete threads which upset alot of people.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I laugh you laugh me laugh.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i respect the job the moderators do, and maybe i should clarify myself a little better. when i say there is no need for word censorship, im not counting personal threats of violence or other harm, cos those can actually end up legal issues, and obviously the mods need to do something about stuff like that. and of course the board needs to preserve its purpose too, but i certainly don't think conversations regarding sex need to be censored, and im pretty sure they never will be. but also i understand there are always lines, and of course i do understand that somethings are more appropriate for other boards. my point regarding the calz thing was more about his reputation preceeding him - his very name being attached to a post is often enough to make this place turn ugly

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

One has got to wonder about the gf/wives of the male ilx pervs

― jerryspringer, Friday, 8 August 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, i wonder when im due one.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 8 August 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Lord, oh lord when will it be my turn?

Calz' were nearly always....attraction as an excuse to belittle/hate.

i think this a great & succint description of it. I refuse to type the letters "OTM".

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm glad you didn't leave, Bob. Rock on.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

It smells like rotten eggs at best, decomposing flesh at worst.

― kephm, Friday, 8 August 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I thnk it's fairly difficult to talk about sex openly & honestly and all that; for some people, it takes a fair amount of silly one-liners before they "let something slip" which is personal and honest and interesting. It's a difficult dynamic but, if it's a topic you're interested it, it can be worthwhile.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks andrew :)

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh Chris Piuma is on the money too

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 8 August 2003 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i agree with chris there. the only remaining question, what would jesus do?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Friday, 8 August 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

for a klondike bar?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Dirty Sanchez.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 August 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

(Oh my God, I am heading straight to Hell.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 August 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Stop kidding yourself, now you're digging even deeper below Satan's bowels.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought it said Chris Piuma is "on the monkey"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 8 August 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Do not worry, Dan, for I know the escape routes.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

And what would I do? I would offer up My body for the sins of the world. Beat that, pilgrim.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Obv I don't know Chris as well as you do, Tracer

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 8 August 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

You may not touch my monkey!

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 8 August 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

And what would I do? I would offer up My body for the sins of the world. Beat that, pilgrim.

Please, I started doing that when I was 17 in the back of a Chevy Cavalier.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

And what would I do? I would offer up My body for the sins of the world. Beat that, pilgrim.

Again with the superfluous commas!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 August 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

haha exactly

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 8 August 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Watch out for the big belt buckle on the pilgrim's hat.

― chester (synkro), Friday, 8 August 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Luna, you are a very holy (and foxxxy) woman. There is a seat in Heaven waiting for you, and that seat is on My lap.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Thy rod and thy staff discomfort me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, at first. Just relax. Sqeeze like you're taking a huge crap, it'll help. Soon you'll be in the promised land, don't worry.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

OH NO

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

See, now you're getting into it.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought you were.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

There is a seat in Heaven waiting for you, and that seat is on My lap.

Ok, but around the world costs extra.

(Sister Claire must be spinning in her grave. At least I hope that bitch is dead. Jesus?)

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's just say I haven't seen her around.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

And it might be because she is in Hell.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

My heart rejoices.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps you weren't man enough for her, Jesus. Aren't you married to her?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I can only hope she's the devil's bitch.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

That is why you pray to Jesus. And here he is!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Aren't you married to her?

Listen, just because some little twat writes "Mrs. Kimerbley Depp" in her notebook doesn't mean that she's made Johnny come lately, you know?

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

She looked like a frigid bitch anyway.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

But I thought Jesus was full of warmth.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

What, like I'm a Hot Pocket or something?

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

You can call it whatever you like. You and your meaty creamy filling.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, now you're just kissing up.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

You and your meaty creamy filling.

WOW did I misunderstand the bible.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Thinking of the Bible as a sexual cookbook, classic or sinful?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Thinking of the Bible as a sexual cookbook, classic or sinful?

the songs of solomon!

― Tad (llamasfur), Saturday, 9 August 2003 06:11 (twenty-two years ago)

My only point to add here is that because of the social evolution of the internet, sexual explicitness has become positively mundane in most forums. That can = no fun and a big bore. The fact that ilx has felt a little more discrete has always been a big attractor for me. I'm not against change, it's just that ilx *was* a change.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 9 August 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Ilx is a change in revealing the true ho-bag nature of Jesus.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 9 August 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

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