This is the thread where you write the post no one would expect you to write

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It was to be expected (and therefore is not very appropriate to start off this thread, but there you go).

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 11 August 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I could very well be the nicest guy on the planet.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 11 August 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Portrait of a Cardinal, Probably Cardinal Fernando Niño de Guevara (1541-1609) is a very late Renaissance-period work by Domenikos Theotokopoulos, also known as El Greco. The painting, an oil-on-canvas, dates from 1600. The subject of the painting is generally identified as Cardinal Guevara, who was the Grand Inquisitor.

The work itself is quite large, using a canvas that is approximately 6 feet by 4 feet. Since the subject takes up almost the entire space, it lends to a larger-than-life quality that is quite imposing. This quality is important to the piece in that the Cardinal is a person of authority and stature in El Greco’s period and by painting him in this manner, it almost turns the viewer into a child, staring up in an almost frightened manner at a respected adult.

Upon first impressions, the composition of the work seems fairly simple and stark in design. The focus is on the Cardinal, who is seated in a chair in a room that, from what the viewer can see of it, resembles a cathedral or monastery setting, with its tapestried wall and tiled floor. The Cardinal—a thin, elongated figure—bears a stern expression, and his body is displayed in an interesting fashion. He gives the impression of alertness and tenseness while not looking uneasy. His left hand clutches the arm of the chair tightly, the left shoulder leaning forward slightly, as if ready to get up, but his opposite side is relaxed, with his hand dangling loosely. This pose indicates the Cardinal as a confident, self-assured man, and again it brings up the idea of the power figure—the Cardinal—versus the ordinary man—the viewer.

An interesting juxtaposition within the simple layout of the work is found at the bottom of the piece. The uncluttered design is suddenly marred by a slip of paper lying on the floor between the Cardinal’s planted feet. The composition of the paper indicates that it was folded into quadrants, much like a letter would be, possibly giving a reason towards his odd pose and strange expression. One imagines that the subject of the letter was not pleasant, causing the Cardinal to either throw it down or simply drop it from shock or annoyance. His position, looking ready to bolt into action, is a response to the message.

While the subject matter of the painting is beguiling, the actual manner of composition is even more fascinating. Like many of the El Greco works, Portrait of a Cardinal has an upward distortion to it, with everything seemingly very slightly stretched towards the heavens. Even the canvas itself is significantly longer than it is wide. Everything draws the eye up slowly, from the vertical folds in the Cardinal’s cloak to the swirling, elongated pattern in the tapestry. In this work, it forces the viewer to focus on the face and expression of the subject, noting his sideways glance and slightly smirking mouth.

The face is also made significant in this work due to the otherworldly palette El Greco uses. The coloring of the background of the painting is, comparatively, naturalistic, with rich gold tones making up the tapestry, and dark mahoganies making up the wood paneling behind the Cardinal. However, the Cardinal himself is almost pastel in make up. His robes are an incredible shade of red, closer to bright magenta than any red traditionally used in religious imagery. The upward folds of the robes are accentuated by extreme highlights, with very pale pink and even white tones bouncing off the canvas. His skin is pale and also has a bluish or purple cast to it; completely dissimilar from what would typically be seen as a skin tone.

This strange, bright coloring is made more noticeable by the warm tones filling the background of the painting. It immediately draws the viewers to the painting. One notes that the Cardinal suddenly takes on a supernatural cast, even from a good distance. He appears to be glowing from within—but not in a “mundane” way, for lack of a better term. He bears no resemblance to the iconography of the Virgin Mary or the Saints featured in other paintings, who also give off a glow but a warm, inviting glow. The glow of the Cardinal is steely, almost possessed in nature, and cold. He is still obviously a man empowered by God—but not a figure of forgiveness and salvation in the traditional manner of religious painting.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Today I put in my request for vacation time at my office job, to which I wear a suit and tie, so that I can go to Burning Man and become a fundamentalist Christian vegetarian.

P.S. Moxie sucks, u r all het.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 11 August 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Beards are so incredibly hawttt, I wish everyone would grow one! I love them almost as much as I love myself, and for someone with an ego as big as mine that's more than you can possibly comprehend.

I wish N. would post more, he is so cool and funny and smart.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 11 August 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

something on topic

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 11 August 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

YOU ARE ALL FILTHY PERVERTS. Get away from my message board.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Sweetie Dude! It was like fantabulous to see you at the FAP. You AB-solutely must come visit me in D.C. (if you know what I mean). (Mental note: Stock up on Absolut in preparation.)

;-) ;-) ;-)

When come bring Pi!

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

for fucks sake either it rocks or it doesnt stop fucking trying to analysing it and just use your ears, if you have to ask whether its fake or not then theres no hope for you, go back and listen to that manufactured shit you pretend to like.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

The thing is, Said discusses the concept of close-mindedness and intellectual fault, but one argument against this logic that Said doesn’t really touch upon in this piece is that, by default, European nations should have been no more able to self-govern than Asian nations. European history is littered with examples of despotic rule (Said mentions Napoleon); England still has a figurehead monarch. If these nations could become self-governing over time on their own, why would it be logical that the Oriental couldnt do the same? Anyone?

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Can't we go to a bar for once?

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom, what you don't understand is that Freire argues that this form of education is a type of necrophilia, understanding men and women as objects to mold and control, instead of living beings with experience and capacity to change and influence.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't abide the taste of lager

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Certainly lager is better than various vodka drinks, no? I find it true that when I drink lager, I get much drunker than when I drink vodka, though, so really I find it best to avoid both. Did I tell you I quit smoking?

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather just do bonghits

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Why does everyone make such a big fuss over cats? They're annoying little vermin.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

There was an old man from Nantucket....

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

My boss is like the world's nicest man. He just lavished me with all sorts of praise on my performance and appearance, and actually told me to take a load off and go home early! I hope to work for him forever and ever; I love being the personal assistant to a man of such high moral and professional calibre.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG! WHAT IS UP BITCHES!!! LAVISH ME WITH ATTENTION!!!

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

So I've been thinking a lot today. The current popularity of the tattoo makes it a valid issue demanding a Christian, Biblical response. When dealing with controversial issues, many demand chapter and verse in the Bible that deals namely and specifically with that issue. Those who do so fail to realize the nature of the Bible. The Bible is a book of principles that apply to any age, any culture, any person, any matter of life and living. Suppose the Bible specifically addressed every item, issue, and idea of every age, culture, and person. One would need a semi-truck to bring his Bible to church! But, the reason the Bible is applicable to every age and every person and every culture, is that, even if it doesn't address an issue specifically, it deals with it by its principles. There is also what is called the tenor of Scripture. The tenor of Scripture is its very nature--all that it conveys, stands for, means. We must not look just for chapter and verse, but for principles and not just for principles but for that which is becoming, fitting, and appropriate for those confessing the name of Christ. First, let's look at what has been used as chapter and verse in reference to tattoos:

"Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD" (Leviticus 19:28 KJV).

While, perhaps not referring to tattooing as we know it today, we will see later that tattooing developed from and is classified as scarification of which this verse is in reference to. Besides that, the point is that this type of marking of the body is a pagan, ungodly practice coming from heathen peoples.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

tomorrow, in accordance with our new dress policy, shorts and short skirts will no longer be allowed.

also, t-shirts must be without language or pictures. since some companies place their logo on shirts, a small company logo is allowed.

thank you for your time.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck it, i'm off.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

why hasnd'T ANYONE repsonded to me??? I'm all like, WTF?? Ally, you know you want me.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Being anti porn does not make me a "radical". Do not automatically assume that because I am anti-porn that I am also a man-hating, sexually deprived unfortunate of society who just doesn't understand that viewing pornography is "normal". I am anti porn because I have the right to be. I have the right to say how I truly feel. I have the right to demand respect and love, not degradation and disregard.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I had no intention of offending anybody and I'm very sorry if I did

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

God, luna, you're so irritating.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

lesbian porn, whats the point? i prefer church

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Bob Shaw OTM.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

So there I am with one foot on the endtable, trying not to lose my balance while greasing up the candlestick, and somewhere in the back of my mind I'm wondering "is that REALLY just a friction blister, or should I have someone take a look at it?" But anyway, we're going at it, and my arm's getting tired because I'm flogging with my left hand, what with right one being busy with the candlestick, and then her MOM walks in --

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Ally, do you ever shut up?

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

*yawns* You're more boringer than luna, Millar. Fucking vegans.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Not only am I anti-porn, I'm anti-drinking and drugs as well. I'm training to become a nun. Will you all attend my wedding to Christ?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX is SO annoying and I hate everyone here. *rolls eyes*
I'm gonna go put on my black on black ensemble and listen to Rage.
You're all a bunch of FUX0rs.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"don't feed the trolls"

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

HELLLOOOO!!!!!!

I AM A WEREWOLF!!

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Rah! This is so spiff!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you know, those Harry Potter bks really are so charming... and that Pratchett fella, why he's a laff riot...

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I Hate Slayer.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, shut up already, jel. Miserable git.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, Doomie puts things so much more sensitively yet perceptively than no-brain arrogant cockfarmers like nabisco or luna. But no-one wants to hear my opinion, I'll just sit here quietly.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Does anyone want to see some photos of some food I ate for lunch?

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Screw you Mark. You come to the next FAP and I'll beat you down, boy.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

from this day forward, i shall forgo from any of my masturbatory impulses. and still, what is WRONG with you people? i cant find any reason why anyone would want to solicit or proposition ANY of you for intimate relations.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Momus OTM

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

If you were locked in the International Space Station with Mick Hucknall of Simply Red and Andrew Ridgeley of Wham!...

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Horace, I'd like to introduce you to my sister sometime. When can you make it to the area? Cheers!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Does anyone know where I can find a really obscure recording by some band y'all have never heard of?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I need more caffeine

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey do any of you want to meet up when I'm in NYC?

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I must have gotten at least 19 hours' sleep last night, and I am awake and refreshed and ready to face the day! Oh, how I love my job!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX is too damn pally. I'm leaving.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm having a baby. Who wants to come to the Christening? You're all invited of course.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh Ally, everything you post so grown-up and adult-like.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Horace, will you marry me?

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, do you mind if I take that baby? You can always have more, and I would just KILL for a little one!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Summer here in Paris is fantastic, all the people are so wonderful

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, sure, Sarah. Really, the best part of having a baby is the pregnancy anyway. I plan to spend the next ten years pregnant and at home.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Can we stick to the topic, please?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally stop being so saucy. It does nothing for my pathetic slacker libido.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I left, but I had to come back to see if people were talking about me. YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU?

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

In the meantime, I am thinking of buying a pet snake.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I'm leaving again because ILX is too cliquey.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I think ankle length skirts should be mandatory for women in America.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

They're all equally life-affirmingly brilliant, but if I had to pick one, probably "Give Me Back My Lighter".

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Tracer, did I ever mention to you that in no way do you look like Fabrizio of the Strokes? You really more resemble, say, Chachi!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

*sigh* I'm supposed to leave work in 4 minutes, but I REALLY don't want to! I love my job so much it makes me want to cry and cry...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Saucy is not a word I'd use to describe me in the least. More like "frigid".

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Why isn't anyone talking about me? Did you forget me already? I remember the love, even if you don't.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, I gotta go now, Dr. Phil's on.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

This Murakami novel is the best thing I've ever read.

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I think you're all dreadfully boring and I'm going to go translate the dictionary into Swahili.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

what am i doing on the internet? i've got a whole bunch of housework waiting for me. god the thought of putting my rubber gloves on to wash some dishes is mighty appealing. and after that, i'm going to reward myself with a huge steak. hey that michael morleys a really talented musician!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 11 August 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a virgin, and intend to remain one. I'm dedicating my hymen to Christ.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

BITCHES WHOSE GONNA SUCK MY FUKIN COCK!!!!!

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry I didn't post here sooner. I've been meditating about my numerous job prospects. Oh, and can we please leave the sex talk off this board. Much appreciated.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Ayn Rand ROX you R all too kind.

― amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG amateurist--GOOMH!

― oops (Oops), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i wish you all would stop posting those images. They are silly and detract from the serious conversations that the rest of us are having.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG FUNNIEST THREAD EVER

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw Millar--you're such a sweetie! *HUGS*

― oops (Oops), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

good god you people are ugly. I wouldn't let any of you near my oh so private parts.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Martin, you're such a prude.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.summoner2.com/images/artwork/Demon-01_sm.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 11 August 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Please tell me I didn't click the sex toy thread, please tell me I didn't click the sex toy thread, please tell me I didn't click the sex toy thread

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

You know what? Canada is, like, totally sucky.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Every time you touch yourself I shed a tear.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate Dawlish. I love London. I haven't bought any records today. I'm bored of Talk Talk and Mouse On Mars. I love Embrace. I am so skinny.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll think of something to post here after I get back from McDonalds.

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

[interesting and clever bon mot]

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the way Doomie styled your hair, Mark.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

clash 4 ever

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

How odd of mark s not to use correct and formal punctuation and syntax!

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

If you don't like my contributions I shall go back to lurking - where I expect I belong.

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX people i have crushes on today! : [long ass list make it up yr self]

― duane, Monday, 11 August 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Who is this "Tom Servo" you keep speaking of?

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Some useless assgoblin, I figure.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 11 August 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

hey bro-man!

― youn, Monday, 11 August 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

dunedin is rotten with ugly women.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 11 August 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I've had it with being overly cautious and a senior citizen before my time. I'm going to get off the computer, go to a club, get drunk, get a tattoo, and get laid, all before tomorrow afternoon. And screw this conservative Christian element. I'm never going to church ever again!

The above is, of course, fictional.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

God I love school.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Darlins! Washington is COM-pletely happening if you know where to go. Why, in the last three months alone I've pulled [long list of males, with full names and indiscreet details]!

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

The square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the remaining two sides.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

hip hop is great! galaxie 500 are boring! i have a satisfying sex life! i never get defensive about anything! i must do some work instead of posting here!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Blount OTM!

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:55 (twenty-two years ago)

and amateurist was right! dolly mixture *do* suck after all!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I went back to school today, I've been waiting for this day all summer! I truly teach at the most wonderful, well-run, exciting educational instituion in the country.

Sorry to post and run but I must go iron my denim dress with the apple and pencil appliques now.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Worst David Bowie? Never Let Me Down by a mile, along with Tonight the only ones I will not have in my collection. What's weird is, remember the critical lauding NLMD got when it came out? The triumphant hoo haw it got from the likes of Rolling Stone (admittedly by then slipping into irrelevancy)? It was the big return of Bowie the art-rocker? Of course they've said this about every subsequent album he's put out which makes me think he has very good PR people. Problem being that, even though these praises are generally OTM (at least beginning with Outside), I don't think a lot of peoplbe believe them because of NLMD. It probably did more damage to his career than Dancing in the Streets.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I have always tried to steer clear of the standard rock or pop romanticism. Whether it's the romanticism of "Baby, I Love You" or the romanticism of Radiohead sense: I am an artist and I am special, and I am suffering. Or "I want to fuck you like an animal" or whatever the Nine Inch Nails version of that is. Classicism I would define as something which is a little bit detached or restrained. It's about the proportion of balance to harmony. It's architectural and even aristocratic. Historically it has its roots in Pre-French Revolution. It's about the old order of the court life, where you have a court composer and a court poet. It was very temperate. What I like about that is then you can juxtapose that with outrageous provocations. So you can write a song called "Coming In A Girl's Mouth" and set it to courtly and beautiful harpsichords, and make it seem like it is a witty little squib that may have been written by Alexander Pope in the 18th Century. I sang that song in front of Mormons in Salt Lake City and nobody's hair fell out.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i hate guitars. kelly osbourne is ugly. melbourne has a great local band scene.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"Pink Glove" is horribly, horribly underrated--I think it's a much better song than "Do You Remember The First Time?" which is a bit too cloying winkwinknudgenudge for me sometimes. The part where he just kind of spits out, semi-disgusted, "Where yr pink glove, babe, he put it on the wrong way" is classic beyond classic.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 03:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I was in The Coolies.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

no good band ever came out of new zealand

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

shut up, the coolies rule.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 05:08 (twenty-two years ago)

do they wear pink tights?

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 06:12 (twenty-two years ago)

ugly lesbians suck

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

and so do rock critics

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

the NME is a great magazine

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess vaginas are ok, but I dunno... they're kinda gross, and they taste weird.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Jim DeRogatis is the only rock critic I respect cos he tells it like it is!

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 06:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate film.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 06:34 (twenty-two years ago)

why does anyone bother watching those boring old black and white films? god, get a life ppl!

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 06:41 (twenty-two years ago)

People who listen to Borbetomagus are sick. Its just noise and there's so much of that already. Pop is so much better and everyone buys it so it must be good.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 08:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Every morning I thank God that I live in London. My only regret in life is that I wasn't born here, I almost cry when I think of the suck-ass places I wasted my life in before I found this heaven on earth.

― dave q, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 08:47 (twenty-two years ago)

The best thing about punk was that people stopped doing endless guitar solos. God, I hate those! Music would've been so much better if Hendrix had burnt his Strats BEFORE going onstage, or if Jerry Garcia had his diabetic coma in 1967. How anyone can tolerate all that widdling is beyond my comprehension.

― dave q, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

(man i suck at this, that post up there is exactly the same as all my "normal" ones.... actually same goes for lots of you)

― (duane), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(ESPECIALLY yrs di!!)

― (d), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Man I hate those techno musicians! They're not even playing real music, they're just pushing the buttons on their computers and letting them do the rest. I especially hate that bald dude, what's his name, Moby? He's always saying he's a vegan, what the fuck is that? How can you even survive without eating animals? I love meat! I love rock! I love Ted Nugent! As matter of fact, I think I'll go and shoot a deer right now!

CAPITALISM RULZ!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Capitalism sux!

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Dizzee Rascal has much more to do with US street rap than he does with dancehall and the UK's long-established hardcore rave scene

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm way too complex and astounding to play a part in anything like this, "Very well, I contradict myself" indeed

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

...This was high summer, years before and late in the day when me and Afton started up Eye Hill, stopped awhile to watch a squirrel stutter-run along the top log of a rotted crib for skidding timber, watched it run as if it were jumping through itself, its tail floating behind, acorns and seeds and pods and nuts on its mind. Afton was two years older than me. I was eighteen and she was twenty and I was so in love that, when we touched, my bones ached to come through my skin to meet hers.

Afton liked to think and was a kind of beautiful. She was in love with ideas and books, and sometimes her eyes would flare and she'd go quiet and then patiently explain her thinking. She wore a tan that looked dusted on and she had long white hair and she'd braid it and it'd stay without a clip or barrette for the longest time, slowly coming undone, and then she'd braid it again. One day she was stopped on the street and offered a thousand dollars for her hair and she laughed and shook her head. I know this because I was walking with her. When we walked we fit, and sometimes she'd turn her cheek to my neck and I'd feel like I was king of the universe and she was the polestar and we were in concert.

That was how I was in love with her, but at the time I don't think she'd quite made up her mind about loving me.

Afton had been away from here for some weeks but surprised me when she showed up this sunstruck afternoon. She dropped her yellow Schwinn ten-speed in the grass at lane's end and came walking across the mowing like she'd walked all the way from the seacoast where she'd been.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Call me Dave.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Shut up Daverino. You, like, suck and your writing like totally makes no sense. Why don't more people write about stuff that is awesome like Julia Roberts instead of stupid crap like music?

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Why aren't I watching Friends RIGHT NOW?!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

call me david...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi. How is everyone?

― dada (nickalicious), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Dammit, I wish I could carry a tune.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Dada wins! I was genuinely surprised!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

(I meant that, it wasn't "the post no one expected me to write".)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(that's not really dada)

(also I hate Jarvis Cocker)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, I'm disappointed.

CAPITALISM ROCKS! ROCK CAPITALISMS!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.astro.princeton.edu/~frei/Gcat_htm/Uguide/white.gif

― Dada, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't you people get tired of that tacky tinny sounding dance music? It's blatantly obvious those who make it are only in it for the cash anyway. If you were to listen to Moodymann for example you would truly understand that house music is about chastity poverty and obedience, rather than your ridiculous money centred notions of smiling and fun.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i just woke up and realized that frank zappa sucks. i am selling my collection of zappa official cds and boots and donating the proceeds to the town homeless shelter.

i've also re-registered as a republican. but not before going to mcdonalds and ordering some freedom fries.

i'm also converting to pentacostalism. i can know speak in tongues - sdjgoi iajseo;gih a/oistiohuawioeut ;8u ay89p8w4ekhasetui asb547! -- that was the holy spirit telling me that yer all a bunch of sickos and that i should leave this evil place and give all that money from selling my frank zappa cds to the committee to reelect george w. bush.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

After I put on my freedom cut panties and freedom braid my hair, I think I'll make freedom toast for breakfast.

I won't be freedom kissing anyone, however - I'm Chaste for Christ!

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wrote something that's really not funny in another thread. I'm telling you here because I don't want anyone to read it, much less post it to the LOL thread.

PS, I'm so tired of hearing about Ally and her sister.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

george gosset is so very insightful. he makes his points very clearly and succinctly, and even when he disagrees with people he is very respectful to other people's opinions. i read every word of his like wisdom from the mouth of God because it is.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I miss Calz.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

the Holy Spirit just spoke to me in tongues again -- jhasuiyd yuawe8aiop89qio aiowueryuapw e8t0 2o9usagrh! -- there, he said that i should stay here and save your souls and convince everyone to vote for Bush.

he also said that God doesn't mind all that dirty talk that goes on here and that i should lighten up.

― a sunbeam for jesus (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, vote for Bush. He's the ginchiest.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus, why do you speak to me through the Holy Spirit? why not just speak to me yourself? i'm sure that the Holy Spirit has better things to do with his time than be Your secretary!

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the thread where you help me find somewhere to live in North London so I can be close to Highbury.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Man! I'm so drunk right now! Just puked all over my girls new shoes.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm getting married next month.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I think if there was one person in the world whom I think no one should even theoretically model themselves after, I'd have to say that person is Steve McQueen.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

My feelings toward the place where I live are in no way ambivalent or conflicted.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I bet you're all stoned. You should just all shut your stupid dirty bongholes right now.

― nickalicious with a vengeance (nickalicious), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

nick's post is the most shockingly unexpected one yet!

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Nickalicious just doesn't understand the hippie lifestyle, it is amazing. You wouldn't believe the magical times I had following Phish around for 18 months in a VW bus.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

nick also doesn't appreciate the genius of mike patton, buckethead, and jonsi birgusson!

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah, sigur ros is like the greatest band ever.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I really love this thread, this gag could go for days and days and still be unbelievably hilarious to me

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the best thread I've ever started.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, Mike Patton, he's that guy from that war that had that movie about him, right?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I were back in Tampa. Seattle sucks.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Heads up everyone -- I've decided to become a socialist and campaign for the Green Party. I think NPR is too conservative for me. I'm going to find an anti-war protest and join in, and print "Impeach Bush" shirts, before deciding that the U.S. sucks and moving to France. Those French people know us best anyway.

*quietly hurls away in corner*

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I've seen Ned naked.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I need to be less pragmatic, I think

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Comics are for retarded kids.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I had a Big Mac on my way to church today. What a day!

Hugs to everyone.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Really, Eyeball Kicks? I got THREE BIg Macs and piled them all on top of each other and opened my mouth wide... MMMM! MMM Mmmm MM MM MMM!

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate kids.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

If you don't like the direction this thread is going, I think you should bitch about it rather than ignore it. It's your duty to impose your will on others.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Honestly, all you flaming carnivores make me sick. Don't you know what goes into commercially farmed meat? When I found out I couldn't eat for three days, and since then I've only been able to keep down organic lettuce.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

J0hn D. needs to stay away from this thread!

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Really, Eyeball Kicks? I got THREE BIg Macs and piled them all on top of each other and opened my mouth wide... MMMM! MMM Mmmm MM MM MMM!

Well, I would have had three, but then I would have felt really bad about taking communion.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

eight months pass...

...

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

this is the thread where adam is bored at work!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

DAVE GROHL SUCKS!!!

(oh, lord that is awful)

― Aja (aja), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, that's really good, sensible advice, there, and your life is such a shining example of togetherness and goodness and positivity that I hope we can all follow your example and emmulate your success!

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Momus makes a really good and well-written point...

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

What is your problem? The Dave Matthew's Band is not dull, Good Charlotte kick ass, AND GWEN STEFANIE (sp) IS THE BEST SINGER EVER!!!

― Aja (aja), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm getting married next month.

-- Sean (saturns...), August 12th, 2003.

Given recent changes in SF, is this unexpected or not anymore?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Sean's stylist fell off of his heels and injured himself. So Sean couldn't get a haircut.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Good Charlotte dont kick ass!they suck!They do have musical talent but they pretend to be all hard rock and stuff which they certainly arent!

― Claire113 (Claire Kavanagh), Friday, 16 April 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, well done.

Anyway: Boy I love network and cable TV! I can't live without it!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 17 April 2004 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm indifferent to John Cena.

― Tanika Olage (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 17 April 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Bush should die a slow and painful death

― CAss (CAss), Saturday, 17 April 2004 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...

Cripes, sorry I have been way too swamped with work from my challenging yet fulfilling job to post to ILX recently.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 11 October 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

saul good. I've been gone for about the same amount of time. We're on the same schedule, apparently.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Monday, 11 October 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

John Howard is the greatest man ever to live.

Syndey is the centre of the universe.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf you assholes, can you not make a post that's longer than two lines? christ almighty.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Fred is often right

― bulbs (bulbs), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck off, you cunt-sucking shit-faced internet posers. Grow a goddamn life and stop bitching on your precious ILX.

I AM AJA, SNITTY HOES!

I'mma gonna C, collectively, on your Ts

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Lordy! I just visited my church for the daily worship, and God was in there! Just sitting on a pew, looking somewhat distraught. I asked him what was wrong, and he said not enough people believe in him anymore. This saddened me, so I took him out for devonshire teas.

― Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Rock died in 1978, due to Talking Heads and Devo's signification of the commercial capitulation and assimilation that was "new wave," along with the tuneless artistic nihilism of "no wave." The best band of the few truly decent rock groups to follow was Uncle Tupelo.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm glad that Atlanta is coming back tonight.

(No, really. I hate Atlanta, but I hate the Astros worse. And if Atlanta wins, they'll be too tuckered out to play the Cards well.)

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

The other day I was walking along Hampshire Street, and the most peculiar feeli....shit, I gotta go. Yet another booty call. No rest for the wicked in bed.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Steely Dan is bland elevator music for idiots. Imagine a horrible mixture of the worst of Crosby, Stills, and Nash, The Doobie Brothers, Holiday Inn style fake jazz, and add a touch of Barry Manilow, and you'll come up with something as dreadful as this garbage. This is a group of souless, bland, light studio musicians who churn out generic light jazz rock with pompous and pretenious lyrics. The rhythm section sounds like they are falling asleep playing songs with tempos that plod along lazily. The singer has the gayest sounding voice since the Bee Gees. Every cliche of jazz, and light blues is pulled out of the closet and grafted to the most wimpy sounding rock band ever. This group wouldn't know a good hook if it fell on them. Avoid at all costs if you have any taste at all.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit piss cunt fuck cocksucker motherfucker and tits!!! Whew...

― jim wentworth (wench), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

'Syndey is the centre of the universe.'

(Cont) ....and not just to people for whom Liverpool or Parramatta is the extreme western edge of the said Universe.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i can't believe it! i had thought Fred was a xenophobe, but he's on the money again!

― bulbs (bulbs), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

(....insert latest Daily Mail outrage of your choice) is just another example of political correctness gone mad.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I love that new Robbie Williams single!

― Simon Green (fatmancunian), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

So where does that leave the non-melodic monotonous drumbeats which pass as 'dance' music at the moment? The only thing that is dancing is the speakers from the excessive amount of bass that seems to serve no purpose otherwise apart from the rupture of eardrums. I'm not being argumentative but I do have a genuine interest as to why people find the monotonic banging appealing. Thank god dance music is dead.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 10 January 2005 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

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