How Old You Are And How Comfortable You Are With This

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

At what age do you start to obsess about the (over)achievements of those younger than you? At what age do you start to become conscious that younger people than you are have made/are making gigantic successes of their lives in ways that you'd love to emulate but feel you never could? At what age (if ever) do you feel you should discard wildest dreams and ambitions as unrealistic imaginings and start to do something altogether more secure and sensible?

This has all been asked in various forms before now; is not intended to send everyone spiralling glumwards. On relection the thread title doesn't fit the questions at all but I will leave it.

― Alex in Rotherham (Alex in Doncaster), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never really obsessed about the overachievements of younger people, more people my age (give or take a year). From about 25-28 I was at my most uncomfortable in terms of how old I was and what I was doing with my life. Now I'm much more relaxed. Discarding dreams and imaginings wasn't really an issue - my problem always was that I could never settle on a dream or imagining for long enough to even regret not doing something about it.

Oh I'm 30 by the way.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 27 now & I am always thinking about how it's too late to do whatever. I always look at younger people & I want to urge them to do stuff before they get much older. I have certain dreams or aspirations that I still hold on to, but there are some that I've had to kiss goodbye!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 24 and have done jack-shit. My school-mates are in Muse or playing for Leeds United. I would be gutted by this if I wasn't generally a happy chap. I do, howver, intend to do great things from the age of 30 onwards. Just you wait and see.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

(I should mention that I am 22 and I am finding Busted hugely disconcerting, although I have no wish to emulate them)

― Alex in Rotherham (Alex in Doncaster), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 25 and am completely behind my peers in career terms, but it doesn't bother me much - I have little ambition in that area. One of my best friends (same age as me) is head of maths at a FE college which is scary and hilarious. I often feel I'm not doing enough with my life generally, but don't usually relate it to others' achievements. Which isn't to say that I don't get horribly jealous sometimes, usually where creative success is concerned.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:32 (twenty-two years ago)

My school-mates are in Muse or playing for Leeds United. I would be gutted by this if I wasn't generally a happy chap. I do, howver, intend to do great things from the age of 30 onwards.

Indeed. If I were you, I would have been pissed off I didn't pre-emptively firebomb my school in 1991.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread is just an attempt to lure N. back isn't it?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I did get detention for setting fire to a bin in about 1993, so you know, I fucking tried.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 25 but I started worrying about people being younger and more successful than me when I was about....12

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Not really bcz I don't have ambitions or anything like that so its no use trying to compare myself to others.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:40 (twenty-two years ago)

like tom i was most concerned with what i was going to make of my life in my mid twenties. i'm now 32 and very happy with my life. my main ambition is to have satisfying personal relationships with my family and friends and right now that's happening. i lost interest in aiming for fame, fortune, creating great works, power, etc., when i realised that those things weren't really what i wanted in life and would not make me happy.

as far as comparing myself with others goes, i've never really done that. it seems pointless, no matter what you do there'll always be someone who you could view as being better than you in any given field, yet at the same time they may have awful stuff in their lives that is totally unenviable.

the whole do x by age y thing has never bothered me at all. there's a good bit of longevity in my family so i still feel like there's time for anything i'd fancy doing (none of which involves breaking any 'youngest ever x' records).

― angela (angela), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 09:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never had much ambition, and I suppose I'm doing alright. Not all that happy though, and my life lacking direction has a lot to do with that.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Fairly irrelevant side-question thing: how easy do you find it to avoid making comparisons between yourself and others?

― Alex in Rotherham (Alex in Doncaster), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

haha from quite a young age i admired janacek, who didn't start major composition until he wz in his 70s (i think he became sexually obsessed w.a woman a third his age and possibly also married her...) (hmmm maybe i made that bit up)

john dowland didn't start composing till his wife died, again in his 70s

fact: i am tremendously lazy

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

the only thing i'm sad about is not having done more band stuff when i was younger (for i am now 28), but in truth it doesn't really matter, especially considering i was, er, somewhat unlikely to get groupies anyway.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i've done a lot better than many of my older friends, in a lot of ways..

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 24 going on 35. I live in suburbia and have dinner parties.

Seriously though, I often have moments that are just "WOAH - fuck. I'm a grown-up". Not because I feel that I should have done more in my time (I am lazier than mark s FACT) but because I always imagine that everybody is older than I am and it's always a surprise when they're not.

― j0e (j0e), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

N. to thread.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

(Is N. on ILSabbatical?)

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

he's posting some nonsense abt bowie on ilm as we speak

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Today is a good day for this thread! I've always been a type A personality, and there was a long list of achievements that I would have liked to have accomplished by now and I've only accomplished a small fraction of them. The more I think about it though, the more I realize that even if I had a accomplished a lot more by now I still wouldn't be happy because it's in my nature to have almost unrealistically high expectations for myself.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I look at people, ok other girls & i get pangs of jealousy sometimes. i think it's natural to be slightly envious of someone who has got things that you want.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 11:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 21 and incredibly insecure about this sort of thing and have this hard, fast cut-off line in my head that I guage everything against (even though people like Janacek and Ian Wright) when I'm trying to pucker up some self-esteem: 27. If you've not done it or at least started by 27 then you won't. This is quite a golden rule, I find, when thinking about novelists / poets. When I look at the little biogs inside (which I do religiously) my eyes scan for the 26 / 27 / 28 so that at 21 I still have that order, that aspirant age far away enough to not worry, close enough to reach in good time, in good stead. I'm sure, or even if it is just in my head, but Fitzgeral, Paterson, Kennedy, all novelist / poets I love published their first books in and around that age. And I'm not sure I even want to be that sort of writer anymore ('poems / novels: out-dated writing form' &c.) but I still retain that line in the sand that fills my head.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 28. I accomplished a lot when I was very young, then took time off and everyone else caught up to me. Now I've got a bunch of books coming out. For the most part, I don't care about the accomplishments of younger people, older people, whatever, in my field -- but I do occasionally crinkle the newspaper in mild frustration reading another "more hot writers under 21!!" article. That's the kind of trend you just have to sit through, though.

28 and 27 feel a lot older than 26 and 25 did, in a way -- I've mentioned before that, physically, all my aging in my twenties seems to have been compressed into three months around my 27th birthday -- but by the same token, my 20s have been sort of a second adolescence in some ways. In my mid-teens, I was living alone while finishing high school, and taking care of my own (non-financial) needs; in my late teens, I was raising three kids. After that, it was pretty much one cake walk after another.

A ways back, I gave myself various goals for writing -- do X before age Q, do Y before age Z, and the last of them was "when you're 30, you should have enough information to decide whether or not you can write full time and pay the bills." 30's coming up awful quick, considering the slow turnaround for novels, but I'm pretty sure the answer's going to be "yes." And fuck, I don't know what else I'd do anyway, they'd kick me out of graduate school eventually.

I made a list recently of the novels I'd feel comfortable starting right now and would write if I had the time, and stopped at fifteen -- I need to write full-time just cause I'm gonna run out of time, period, otherwise, and leave too much stuff undone, dammit.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:27 (twenty-two years ago)

David - Virginia Woolf said that no one should write poetry after 30 and no one should write novels before 30. That's my guideline. 30-70 is a long, long time.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

32 years old, perfectly happy with it. Life's good, I figure! Bring on the rest of it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

NED RAGGETT IS AN OLDE MAN.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 23 and I don't really give a fuck. My dad thinks I'm about 30 for some reason. So did like 90% of ILX?? WTF?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

It's your own fault, Ally! You used to claim you were older than I am. ;-)

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha yeah but that's cos I was like 14 at the time! I cannot be held responsible for what happened ten years ago!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Kids go to prison at 14, so consider this part of your sentence.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

i am 30 and i'm a bit irked abt it... ally i thought you were about 40...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Your crime is time and it's EIGHTEEN AND LIFE TO GO!

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Arrrgh this truly is punishment for my deceitfulness.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

don't worry you don't look 40 was just kidding. i just diodn't want to stop being in my 20s, that's all - other than that i don't really care. it's not the age that matters as much as not having done a few things i'd like to yet...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

ALLY IS AN OLDE MAN.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i turned 27 today. I've not-so-suddenly hit the age where I am morose over my station in life and what i would have preferred. Fuck, i'm still living in ann arbor, for chrissakes, still without an engineering job, and still without a band. ALtho, i am working on the band part, and i'ma gettin' me out of this town when i get a better job.

then again, a think to consider about the fucked-upness of comparing age & accomplishments is when you consider that Sid Vicious died before his 22nd birthday, Ian Curtis offed himself when he was 23(& he had a wife, kid, & a house when he did it), and Ride had happened and broken up when they got to my age.

so maybe our destinies all lie along different paths. for me, the kicker is trying to balance my own schedule for my accomplishments, versus falling into laziness and not getting anything done.

Hell folks, i like in the American Midwest -- most folks are married & spitting out crotchspawnlings from their gated suburban communities by the time they're 23, 24...

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 25 (I turn 26 in less than a month!). I don't tend to get jealous of those younger than me any more than I worry about the success of people my age or older. Sometimes, I get a little annoyed that my slightly younger friends that didn't go to college make way more money than me, but I'm working on maybe going back to school to get a degree in something I might use this time (and enjoy).

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been 28 for two and a half months now. I really feel like I got stuck in some sort of neutral drive the year I turned 24, and all those "awesome smart people under xx" articles drive me absolutely fucking bats.

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(because I should have been one of them)

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan, I think, is obsessed.

Ally, EVERYONE thought you were in your mid to late twenties. Something about how you were a published journalist known across the oceans.

Larcole's hair metal obsession is intriguing. Her next step is to do a sudden reversal and rehabilitate grunge. She'll be spinning those Stone Temple Pilots albums, oh you'll see.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned you are like the master of hyperbole. Anyway I don't see how it is unusual to be published, I wish I could find my old shit now, I had this great piece that was published about how I thought women should walk around topless. I'd post that shit up on ILX and be like booyah, I was like this when I was 15 too mofos.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, I'm oldest
on the thread so far (indeed,
most of ILX)

thirty-seven is
not the best age that I've been
but it ain't the worst

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I am 23 yrs old. I do not feel jealous of those my age or younger for their achievements, mostly because the majority of those I know seem pretty miserable. I must hang out with losers.

― Mandee, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned you are like the master of hyperbole.

Well yeah.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

According to Usenet, I'm also Geri Halliwell so I think that makes me approximately 73.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

how are you geri halliwell? i am confused...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

We all were, trust me.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm eighteen, and not particularly worried because I'm becoming accustomed to dullness (in terms of creativity) and there are no prodigy ten year old archaeologists I know of.

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

*checks* Well well...should I post the link to the still existing spice rack page or not?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Kingfish, narrow frame of reference; Sid Vicious, Ian Curtis & Ride. Hope you don't overdose, hang yourself or form a boring indie band in the Oxford area.

Happy birthday, by the way.

― G Man, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

being geri halliwell is worse than being michael flatley...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

haikunym is wrong:
double this syllable count
and switch the digits

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned you post and it gets instantly deleted.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

mark you're not 014101 years old

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 31 - and it doesn't feel that much older than 27 did - but it's weird to not be the youngest one among my friends, in my office (I started working here the first time when I was 17)...

I'm not really concerned with what other people are doing or where they are compared to where I am - at this point, I haven't accomplished shit, but I think I've got time...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

you've got loads of time luna - at least that's what i keep saying ;-)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 22 and couldn't care less about what my peers are doing, because I am rather disgusted with the media frenzy over equating people doing things at a younger age then others as better, when in reality, it's just another way to sell product using flesh. Plus, everyone I idolize really didn't hit their stride until their mid-30's at the earliest, so plenty of time.

I just want to die happy. Actually, let me revise that - I just want to never die.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned you post and it gets instantly deleted.

Fret not, it was a mere whim.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I am 48, a fact Martin Skidmore shall everlastingly be grateful for. My comfort with being this age is fair to middling. If I were any younger or older it would throw off the math, obviously, and the foundations of the universe would tremble. We can't be having that, can we?

As for the adequacy of my accomplishments to date, this really pisses me off! If the rules were that I was supposed to accomplish something by now, you'd think it would have posted somewhere I was likely to see it, like the sign above the urinal reminding me to wash my hands. I shall write a letter to the Times.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Another oldie - I'm 39 in a couple of days time.

Comparison with others hasn't been a problem up to now, partly as I've long-time thought of myself as a late developer.

But I have recently started making many more comparisons on the non-work achievements part of life than ever before , e.g. "Oh my God, they've been together for 17 years!". It's not yet 'where did love go wrong for me?' (cue Marc Almond), but it could easily head there.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

hope you don't overdose, hang yourself or form a boring indie band in the Oxford area.

can i form a boring indie band in ann arbor?

also, i site those examples as they give the feel of a life(creative or not) having being lived to completion, when mine doesn't exactly feel like it's started yet.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

33 ... somedays i feel like i'm 43, others i act like i'm still 13.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm told that i look like i'm still 23, which is one true blessing. i must've inherited that from my Dad, who is 61 but looks like he's in his late forties.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 25 and I hate it, I've not done jack shit with myself and probably never will. This line of conversation never ceases to depress me.

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't delete the spice rack! At least, don't delete the lyrics pages!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

That would be sad, that site was hysterical.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel as though I've disappointed myself time and again with how little I've accomplished in my life and, as I'm the "mistress of comparing myself negatively with others" I feel as though I should be ashamed of myself for making it to the age I am without doing something massive. Like Larcole, I too am a Type A personality (comes from my mother) and I can recall being in high school and crying because I got a 90 on a test. I was only happy when I got 95 and above, because I felt as though I had to be the absolute best at everything. This still rings true today, except now it's combined with my ever-unceasing impatient streak, meaning I just don't want to wait for "my time" to come (whenever that is). And I certainly don't aim to make anyone feel guilty, but coming over here to ILX and seeing how many of you have done amazing things (I'm sorry, but I do equate being published with being an amazing thing, and there are certainly more than a few of you whom this could apply to), or who know an incredible lot about so much in this world has made me feel even less, hm, vital, like I know nothing and am nothing and will never be anything, and I just can't wait many years for this to change.

Neurotic, moi? Nah.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't make me sing "Memories". Anyway, Nicole, Dan, it's not deleted. The semi-coherent drunken ramblings of me and my exboyfriend are still recorded for all to see.

There are too many depressing posts on this thread, what is this obsession with accomplishing things? Does anyone else realize how small a percentage of people in the world actually "accomplish" anything? I think that if you manage to live a decent life, get someone to share it with, maybe raise some kids, those are achievements themselves, right? Sometimes I feel really shit cos I feel like, oh, why don't I have my degree or something, then I look at some of my friends who are in their mid/late 30s and have two kids and are divorced and their kids don't even live with them and they're on drugs, right, and I'm like why do I feel like shit and this person is totally happy?

I mean besides the drugs.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't believe David H. is only 21! i thought he was at least 23. anyway, i'm also 21 and i'm pretty comfortable with being the age that i am. much more so than i was at 20. this is perhaps especially significant since i spent a fair bit of time last year worrying about what i'd have (not) done at age 21. i think my psycho-sexual development is a bit retarded and i'm sure i should be much more self-sufficient by now, but i've decided not to worry about it.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't feel like i've accomplished everything that i wanted to accomplish yet, either. much of it's my own doing (consciously or subconsciously). some other days, i look at the lives of people who did over-achieve -- some of them are happy, some aren't. i still kick myself for not doing better in l-school, then i look at the law review types who went to big NYC and Philly firms and are getting ground to shit (long hours, boring and tedious work, office politics outta their asses, a 5-10% of ever making partner). at least i like what i do (if not exactly the place where i am doing it), even if it isn't as prestigious as i might have hoped. but what's prestige anyway -- who gives a fuck except neurotic twits and insecure assholes that one doesn't want as friends anyway?

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not reading this thread any more

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

If you like what you do that's half the battle.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You know what, maybe I am too much the Sunshine Goddamn Girl. I'll shut up.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

and if you successfully hide the body, then that's like, what, two-thirds, three-fourths of the battle or so?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe because the people who equate success with reaching those goals (the whole settling down, raising a family, living a normal life type thing) weren't told from early on that they would disappoint their parents or family in general if they didn't go out and do amazing things, and thus those other people were perfectly happy throughout their childhood with being average.

I got it from very early on. Several of my cousins were either beauty queens or academic stars and so I was being constantly compared with those people. While that was going on, the administration at my school thought it'd be great to treat me as their little starmaker, the student who would put them on the map, all because I showed up to pre-kinder knowing how to read at an advanced level. Ever since then, I've always had it in my mind that if I didn't impress someone, if I didn't make someone look at me and say, "Wow, I want to be her so desperately," I would be a failure to everyone around me.

Maybe I'll grow out of this someday. Maybe several years from now I'll look at what I've written today and think, "You were SO naive, girl. Look at where you're at now and look at how far you've gone and how much happier you are." It would be really nice to have that happen, yes. But now I need to live for today and work on what I have right now vs. what I might have in the future.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Deanna we're coming from the same place.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I was Theo Epstein

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I was Terry Tate!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

you can be whatever you want to be. that's what my teacher told me!

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 31 and vaguely bothered by my lack of accomplishments. But not too much. More bothered by the age-enhanced effect of beer on my waistline. I pretty much spent my twenties wildly depressed, so it seems a shame to have spent so much of the time when I was at my most attractive in bed alone...

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Deanna we're coming from the same place.

Really? Surprising developments, film at 11.

Wow, this thread is like a massive exorcism. Huge demons finally unleashed, released from the subconscious. Feeling slightly better. Will aim to mail off furious letters to various people from my past. Will feel MUCH better then.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, basically the fact that I learned how to read at just-turned-2 has made me like wünderkinder in my parents' eyes and it took me quite a lot of effort at failing out of school (numerous times) to get it to go away. Even now though, I still get it sometimes, which is why I'm not speaking to my mother this week. Meanwhile, my "average intelligence" sister busted her ass for years to overcome a learning disability and barely gets noticed at all for the effort she puts in cos my parents are too busy noticing how crap I am at doing school.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel like I've so metally prepared myself for turning 27 that I forget that I'm still 26. I figure I'm no longer an old young person but now a young middle-aged person, which is good. Finally got out of the adolesence period and have settled into a nice little rhythm. So, yeah, reasonably comfortably with this, although all my friends are in their early 20s. But I can't help it cuz everyone in the Detroit area moves away by the age of 25. I'm just a hold over.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

23? That's almost as old as Jess n stuff.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Deanna has made me glad I was lying earlier. Yeah, I spend a lot of time wondering how I'd feel if everybody hadn't spent the last 23 years talking about how fucking smart I am and how I should go into music/ arts/ law/ linguistics/ radio/ politics/ cartooning/ intelligence/ you fucking name it.

It'd be nice to think I was exceeding expectations by doing any of this stuff instead of feeling like every single attempt I've made has been a disappointment.

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

But I can't help it cuz everyone in the Detroit area moves away by the age of 25. I'm just a hold over.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Who on ILx is 23-24?

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

it is because people who are "bright" or "talented" or whatever end up in situations where they are expected to excel. if they don't, then they feel like shit. by not excelling, i don't necessarily mean fucking up royally -- i mean just doing an average or OK job, being a B student as opposed to an A student. it's amazing how much difference there can be between those two levels, and while i don't begrudge anyone their success it does get on my nerves that there's such a disparity sometimes.

this is why i've got such a bug up my ass about this lately. as i've said before, i like what i do for a living. i just don't like where i'm doing it for a living. so i'm looking to get out. for the past few months i've been sending resumes to places around NYC and northern NJ -- i've gotten all of 2 interviews from that, and felt jerked around on both of them. so i called my law school career services office -- only to essentially get the cold shoulder from them because they're too busy setting up on-campus interviews for this year's bunch of law review/A students! i should've known better, since career services were a bunch of useless assholes even when i was a student myself. i seriously hope that fucking place does NOT expect me to ever give them any sort of alumni contribution -- matter of fact, since it's a state school and given the state's budget woes i hope that their budget has been slashed to the bone just so that they can go fuck themselves.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"I don't need to drink this malt liquor! 'Cause I'm O-K!"

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

David, I'm 23.

I just wrote this long rant about how much I hate my mother this week. I deleted it, sensibly.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

enough of what i just said. this is why i don't like ranting here ... it's boring.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

WTF?! Ally, you're like 27. Only 23? Wow. I'm sure we've done this 'wow, you're only / really X yrs old' thread before, but, wow.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I know and then fuckwits who read this board feel the need to bring it up like three months later and be quite nasty to you over something you confessed midrant, not that that's ever happened to me per se.

I'M NOT 27!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I've so metally prepared myself for turning 27 that I forget that I'm still 26.

Aaron I did the exact same thing, to the point where I forgot it was my birthday until a friend came by to take me out to lunch.

― chester (synkro), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

haha I've been dealing with being 27 ever since I turned 23

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

It's good when you think you're older than you are and then you actually turn the age you think you are currently: a free year, score!

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I already am 27!!!! In fact I'm 87!!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

seriously though, why does anybody think Ally is that old? I thought she was like 19 when I started posting here

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought Luna was 24

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

WTF is up with guys thinking girls are older, yr poppas obv did not teach you any manners

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always wondered the answer to that question. I understand why like three people on this board think I'm older. The rest of you have no goddamned excuse, what kind of immature ass 30 year old acts like me?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

*raises hand sheepishly*

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, David, that's how I wish it felt.

― chester (synkro), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

getting old sux
as far back as i can remember, if someone younger than me did something i couldn't it would irk me (i'm 26 very soon).

but now i've accepted the fact i'm not going to be playing in the nhl or whatever and people younger than me accomplishing stuff doesn't really affect me anymore.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, right. Sorry, Dan. It's cool, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be the same way. I mean, look at my mom. What kind of immature ass 45 year old posts Friendster pages like that?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll be 29 in October. PH3AR. I'm dealing with my age and relative lack of accomplishment thus far by listening to mellower music. I'm begrudgingly having to accept that I'm not very punk rock anymore. More like, after-hours house. And I'm drinking better liquor. I think it's progress.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

what kind of immature ass 30 year old acts like me?

You know you don't have to ask this.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

But I thought you were my age!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I go away for a meeting and -- angst! release! hope! I love this place.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Dud = the skull-splitting, brain-pocking hangovers that started at 24.

Classic = shedding adolescent hangups and fantasies of Big Accomplishments and just generally being a far less serious person.

Close friendships are getting rarer but also much more intimate and fulfilling.

― chester (synkro), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I was. In 1995. *crying*

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the worst thread ever, oh my god. Luna move to NYC and we will accomplish things ok?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I am twenty-two. I have five years of architecture school left. I could have had only three left. I regret this. in one way. and not. in more than one way. I am twenty-two.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Being 32 is ok. I've sort of gotten over the fact that I've accomplished almost nothing so far in my life.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 44, and in some terms I have accomplished bugger all - I hope to become a Senior Systems Analyst before I'm 45, but there are people who've reached that in my organisation before they are 30. In career terms, I'm on my third - and the comic one had some stuff that I'm proud of. I worked with Moore, Morrison, Gaiman, Millar, Campbell and others, and met Kirby, Kurtzman, Baxendale and loads of others.

Personally, I've kept a fantastic bunch of friends since the early '80s, and I hope I'm making more fantastic friends through this site. I had 22 fantastic years of happy love with a formerly wonderful woman. I've had a sex life that I still find hard to believe. I have a big house with loads of music and books and stuff like that. Nothing much that counts as an accomplishment, but lots of things that are important to me.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wrote this whole big longass post, but..meh. I'm 29 and haven't accomplished anything in a typical sense. That really upsets me sometimes. It's all about how you gauge accomplishment, though. I have friends that tell me they admire me, and it's like--what? We know all these people that are fabulously successful with doctorates and married and happy and whatever. But it's more about what you're doing with your own individual circumstances etc. I try to remember that.

And...what Deanna said.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Done. NYC, here I come!

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

i turned 29 last weds. 1974 babies rawk ! i cant really explain it. old enough to remember "alternative" when it meant sst, rough trade, etc., & young enough to ejoy mogwaii & interpol without going all bitter...or something.

i am putting out a record through a tiny indy label based in japan this year. also flying to japan in the winter to visit my brother

― kephm, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Lord, if we're going to play the accomplishment game, I figure this -- two people on my Oasis list a few years back got to talking, realized they were both in Atlanta, met up, started dating and are now married. Obviously this was inadvertant on my part but I like to think I did help bring them together in a way, and for that reason I think I've done some good in this world. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm at least 24 (but I'm not 24), and I have fucked everything up. It's a terrible birthday for me next Sunday, but still I continue to look better every month. I will be pissed off when this stops being the case.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, you make people happy. You have nothing to worry about on the George Bailey front.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"Ned Raggett, now you get to see what the world would have been like if you didn't have that thong."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

the image, the image!

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I never have feelings of competion with people youger than me. It help that I always forget how old I am, I am not to sure just why. It not that I feel "old" or "young". I just am. Currently sitting at 26 soon to be 27, I feel very content I everything I have done and where I am in my life.My only competion is me. Why should I reflect my life on someone else's achivements? Plus the challeges I give myself are all I need. In my family most live to be late 80's and into the hundreds, with both mind and body intact. So it seems pretty stupid to me to try and hurry thing's up, squish it all in before the dreaded thirty's, and then have an extra 50 years to sit on your thumb. Plus when you give your self an experation date, you have a tendancy to expire.

― danielle g. (danielle g.), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm almost 23, and despite that low age, I've several times in recent years started on something and felt kinda silly; felt as if it's too late for me to start it now (programming, playing the guitar and the accordion)
But it quickly passes as I realize that it doesn't matter, I'm doing it for my own enjoyment (and in the programming case, maybe in the hope of somehow falling into a job somewhere) so who cares if Tony Williams played with Miles Davis when he was 18 or some other guy did this'n'that better than I ever will when he was 12...

Comparing yourself to others has some good points, it gives some drive to try harder, and some impression of where you are in the world, but in general I just try to not let myself be bothered by obviously petty things like that.
I think it's ridiculous when I see people who are 60 say they're too old to start something (well, with exceptions of things that might physically not be very viable any longer), so why should I act like it when I'm less than half that age.

I think everyone has things they wish they had done, wish they'd done better, wish they'd started with earlier etc etc. But everyone has other sides that others probably are slightly envious of, but that you yourself completely ignore in your quest to depress yourself.
And the whole idea of "accomplishing" things can fokof! I'm not an ambitious guy, which some think is very sad, but I'm content with it. I have other things I want to do than, say, get a killer career and own a fancy car.

Of course, sometimes it's absolutely impossible to convince yourself of these things, and you'll stare at the ceiling for hours on end wondering where everything went wrong

― Øystein Holm-Olsen (Øystein H-O), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

still I continue to look better every month. I will be pissed off when this stops being the case.

If I have not reached the point where I look in the mirror everyday and say to myself, "This is as good as you're ever going to look again," it's only because I still have about 20 pounds to lose. That may be why I'm hanging on to them, come to think of it.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

'every time a bell rings, a stripper gets her tassles'

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan Perry, Bellringer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

*ding dong*

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

It would only sound like that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Put that thing away.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

There are certain places one should avoid getting dings.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

And dare we ask what the bellrope is?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i managed to snap a beer bottle cap through a double smoke ring last friday night. i can die easy now.

― kephm, Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I love you all.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm loving this thread. I just turned thirty last Monday, and it's rained every single day that I've been thirty. On the upside, the older I get the better I can cook.

As I get older, small accomplishments seem more important than big ones; big accomplishments feed and increase ambition, while small ones just bring happiness and satisfaction. I never would have believed this 5 years ago.

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

''I love you all.''

even me?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

He loves you in your ear, Julio.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

No, not you.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

*squick* *squick* *squick* means "I luv u!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Somewhere that makes sense.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't cleaned my ear in two weeks. thanks for the reminder.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

i managed to snap a beer bottle cap through a double smoke ring last friday night.

thank god some of us have something we can view so positively.

still, this thread is extree-deepressing, wot with the timing of it & all.

altho, assuming it stops raining, and my mates come out of the woodwork to join me for a pint tonight(like they BETTER if they know what's good for 'em), it'll all be ok.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I only post to threads like this if I start them.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

26 (27 in November). I get jealous whenever my older friends brag about their adventures back in the day and I kinda wish I was born at least five years earlier. But I'm glad to have my youth and I want to enjoy it while I can.

― The Four Singing Beatles (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, I've already lived through a lot and sometimes it makes me feel ancient... often when I talk to people who are just a few years younger, they seem REALLY YOUNG to me, and I wonder if it's their own immaturity or if I'm just a goddamned freak.

― The Four Singing Beatles (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I STAND POIESD ON DA BRINK OF CEL3BRATNG TWENTY-FOUR YAARS OF LIVNG1!1!1! OMG LOL MAH GOAL IN HIGH SKOOL WAS 2 HAEV PUBLISHED S3VERAL SHORT S2REIS BY DA AEG OF EIGHTEN AND MAH FIRST NOV3L BY DA AEG OF TW3NTY-TWO!!1111 BY TEH TIEM I WAS TW3NTY-FIEV I WAS SUPOSAD 2 HAEV BEN A PUBLISHNG PH3NOM3NON11!111!1 SADLY I SEM 2 B IN A PROLONGED STAET OF AR3ST3D D3VELOPMENT AND THASA GOALS HAEV NOT THEYRE BEN ACHEIVED!1!11111 OMG LOL

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Was your novel to be written in the style of that post?

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

jewelly, right now, I kiss you.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

bnw has ushered much joy into my life with the AOLer translator, I must say.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

That joy just stopped me from ushering much unjoy into my life. Work makes me testy. AOL generator makes me lust for life.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not clear from many of these posts on what it is people want to have achieved.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

so THAT's how it's done...

"here comes johnny YEAH man
with liquor an' drugs
and aol translata
he's gunna confuse up
your wo-ords...."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, maybe it because you skipped years of school so were thrown in with an older crowd and learned to act accordingly?

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm very nearly 24 too. i guess i relate to what dee and ally have said a little, only the pressure was from my primary school, not my family. i was about 6 years ahead of my peers in learning but for some reason my teachers thought it was a good idea to keep me at the same level. their excuse was that it would be bad for me socially, as i already had invoked the hatred of everyone my age and older just by being smarter than them, or perhaps because i knew it too. when i was finally allowed to skip standard 3, it was only because my mum fought hard for it. i'm pretty bitter about the whole thing, i wasted so much of my life at primary school when i could have been actually LEARNING.

i have no right to be bitter about it. god, i might've ended up a mathematician instead of a muso. and being a muso is hella fun. i do wish i'd started playing guitar a bit younger, because i'm still nowhere near as technically good as i'd like to be. my primary school experience is probably the reason i'm such a control freak now. i can't STAND for my fate to be out of my own hands, and i despise authority figures.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i should specify: the pressure i felt from my teachers was because the more they held me back, the more i felt i had to prove to them how smart i was, but it just made them hate me more.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 12 August 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i also suspect that this is why i'm so down on my brain capacity - cos nothing i did was ever good enough. though that may also have something to do with me once having a flatmate who took great pains to tell me how stupid i am every day of the year simply because she had her own inferiority complex. heck, thats enough whinging for one day.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

According to Plutarch, Julus Caesar wept on his 30th birthday, because Alexander of Macedon had already conquered Asia by that age and Caesar had achieved no comparable grandeur. He'd only been tribune.

By way of contrast (ambitionwise), when I scored *damned* well on a certain standardized test during my callow days in high school, the testing service sent me a congratulatory letter emphasizing how 'the nation looked toward me and those like me to become tomorrow's leaders in science, commerce or government', or some such rot.

My reaction was immediate, visceral and ran along these lines: "Just where do these silly twunts get off telling what I'm supposed to do with my life. I've only got one life; it's mine not theirs, and I intend to spend it as I please. Stupid gits!"

― Aimless, Wednesday, 13 August 2003 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not clear from many of these posts on what it is people want to have achieved.

It seems to me like most everyone here is right clever and probably has been told so since they were little. At least, I was, and this is one of the few places where I've thought wow, these folks are smart/funny/quick/insightful. And it's awkward to think in some way (maybe you don't quite believe it, but still) that you're special but haven't done anything special.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Sure, but ... like what?

I just think you can excuse yourself from self-disappointment if you can't actually propose an option for what you "could've accomplished." Marriage and kids have been mentioned a couple times here, and while those can be things to be proud of, they're not really accomplishments to envy: anyone can get married. Anyone can have kids. Neither takes any skill nor anything that marks you as different from anyone else. It takes a lot of skill to do it right and keep doing it, sure, but when those things are objects of envy, it seems to be either because they're treated as rites of passage or swanky toys.

If you don't think you've done enough, in other words, what is it you think you should or could have done? If you can't answer that, or the only answers are billion-in-one longshots like "colonize Mars" or "be a superhero" (those'd be mine, circa Tep.1980), then you've got nothing to worry about, right?

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, I berate myself almost daily because I didn't go to MIT like my parents and haven't invented a new chemical that ends in -onium or something. This is utterly pigfuck insane: within my field, I am very good and rapidly becoming successful. Wishing for more money is one thing, wishing it'd happened when I was a little bit smarter is one thing, but wishing I'd done other things entirely -- things I clearly don't have the right temperament for -- is nuts. I have done a reasonable job of maximizing the things a Tep can do :) I'm not satisfied with that, but I realize I should be.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

By the time you realise what the odds are of anyone in 3003 recognising your name, the odds have shrunk to zero.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I still never quite got around to one of the things I was getting at, I think. Blame the massive pain and massive painkillers. Maybe I'm having trouble because I'm obsessively single-minded about the idea of achievement and accomplishment -- for me, it always refers to the same thing, and I don't actually care about being successful at it except insofar as being paid for what I do means I don't have to waste time doing other things. So, a post that says, "I haven't done as much with my musical skill as I wanted to by this age," that I grok. Just wishing for nonspecific accomplishment, though ... I can't figure out what's meant to be filling that blank, if you see what I mean.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 27 and I've done some stuff...I guess. I just live around all sorts of "creative" types. I did academic crap for a long time and now I teach academic crap. I don't have a creative "thing"--I don't write much, I don't make music, I don't dj (anymore--I wasn't so hot), I don't dance, I don't paint, I don't play an instrument, I'm not a performance artist...This makes me feel a little less than others, but I'm dealing with it (I hope, because it really sucks to feel like you don't have a "thing").

I've done some things I'm proud of (development work, literacy outreach, volunteering, certain courses I've put together, the few articles I've written), but I don't think too many other folks are impressed. I try just to be happy with my own pats on the back...but sometimes it'd be nice to hear someone say "wow, it's really cool that you teach romantic poetry to folks whose 3rd or 4th language is English" instead of "who do you write for? oh, you don't write? do you spin anywhere? oh, well then, what DO you do?"

― cybele (cybele), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I coulda been somebody. I coulda been a contender.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

but sometimes it'd be nice to hear someone say "wow, it's really cool that you teach romantic poetry to folks whose 3rd or 4th language is English" instead of "who do you write for? oh, you don't write? do you spin anywhere? oh, well then, what DO you do?"

I think we ALL think that here about ya. But here's to more saying to you in real life. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 30 and damn happy to here and enjoying life. It's kind of a trip to watch my body age ... I'm getting a few laugh and smile lines that I think are delicious, and my hair is getting more gray strands by the day. Basically, my body's been through some hellacious times, and as a result I am thankful for each year that I get extra *grin*

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

So after 30, it's all gravy? Man, do I need to rearrange my expectations...

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

*sips wine, munches on a bit of food, enjoys life in SoCal* Yup, she's right!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I've lived about three lives by anyone's reckoning. I'm 39, look younger (no surgical help thank you very much). I'm happy. Most people can't get this much in in *one* life.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I apologise for this thread

― Alex in Rotherham (Alex in Doncaster), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 07:24 (twenty-two years ago)

20, wouldn't mind being older in order to be where I want to be without the hard work. I guess I can't complain, 20's a funny age. I'm happy enough. I can't see age making much of a difference, I don't feel much societal pressure to accomplish a whole lot, but I do put alot on myself, not enough though my ambition is not mirrored by mt workrate.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 07:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I also went to school with this lady. She was the year below me. Verily, we are all failures next to her.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

26 in three months and not very

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 27, can't say I've ever thought about people younger than myself being more successful than me, or at least being bitter about it. I know I'm fundamentally flawed when it comes to motivation. Hope springs eternal, so good luck to everyone.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

37 (38 in October). Still figuring stuff out as I go along...

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll be old as fuck in four days, but I find freedom through failure.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 13 August 2003 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, you get up every morning
And you see, it's still the same
All the floors and all the walls
And all the rest remains
Nothing changes fast enough
The hurry, worry days
It makes you want to give it up
And drift into a haze
Revelations seems to be another way
To make the days go faster anyways
We're all exchanging pleasantries
No matter how we feel
And no one knows the difference
'Cause it all seems so unreal
You'd better grab a hold of something
Simple but it's true
If you don't stop to smell the roses now
They might end up on you
Expectations only mean you really think you know
What's coming next, and you don't
Yearbooks with their autographs
From friends you might have had
These are your important years
You'd better make them last
Falling in and out of love just like...
These are your important years, your life

Once you've seen the light, you finally
Realize it might end up all right
It might end up all right now

i dunno -- seemed kinda relevant.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 14 August 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, maybe it because you skipped years of school so were thrown in with an older crowd and learned to act accordingly?

Haha yeah, look at the Pizza Christ thread for proof ;)

The relevant song for this thread is "Glory Days" by Pulp. "Oh I could be a genius if I just put my mind to it, and I...I could do anything, if only I could get round to it."

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 14 August 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

You were brought up on the space race...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 14 August 2003 02:30 (twenty-two years ago)

thank god that's not the springsteen version...

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 14 August 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Now they expect you to clean toilets. When you've seen how big the world is, how can you make do with this?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 14 August 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

True fact: That song came on in a bar and I got so depressed that I immediately resolved to return to school and eventually quit my godforesaken job.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 14 August 2003 02:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 33, & most of my self-loathing comparisons are to people I went to school with, all of whom are now rich and famous and, like, running countries. I'm mostly pretty happy with what I've done & where I've gotten, although I suspect I've made a few serious missteps that have cost me a few years in doing what I want to do. There are various things I regret not having done when I was younger, most of which fit into other people's "oh those were my wild younger years" category. I think the biggest one was not being in a band that got to do a serious tour. I mean, two years ago I got to fill in playing bass w/ a band I liked on tour for a week, and that was absolute heaven as far as I was concerned.

― Douglas (Douglas), Thursday, 14 August 2003 03:12 (twenty-two years ago)

21 and feel pretty much the same as Ronan. I feel like I'm doing *more* than those around me but the challenge is to focus that *more* down to a single coherent narrative that's gonna get me somewhere.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Thursday, 14 August 2003 06:40 (twenty-two years ago)

31 and fine with that execpt for moments when i sort of realize, 'oh wow i'm in my 30s', working in a field i love, doing interesting stuff, generally happy except for the lack of decent pay so far.

― H (Heruy), Thursday, 14 August 2003 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.