Is Alabama really as funny and inbred as it's made out to be?

Economics shut the furnace down
Bull Connor hosing children down
George Wallace stared them Yankee's down
In Birmingham

Take a left on the interstate
In the middle of this sultry state
I can't wait to see your face
In Birmingham

"I don't think it was worth it"
the last thing Stanley said to me
Twenty four years then a bullet in the chest and
I still see him in my sleep
Fifteen dollars in the purse He could not save
Her family didn't buy a stone to mark his grave
"Give me a call, if you need a place to stay in Birmingham"
Birmingham

Most of my family came from Birmingham
I can feel their presence on the street
Vulcan Park has seen it's share of troubled times
But the city won't admit defeat
Magic City's magic getting stronger
Dynamite Hill ain't on fire any longer
No man should ever have to feel He don't belong in Birmingham
Birmingham

Are you going to Alabama
Where the skies shine bright and blue
I'd like to see the old Tombigbee
If you're going, I want to go with you

Are you going to Alabama
Where the folks say "how do you do"
I'd like to see those big ol' cotton fields
If you're going, I'm going too

I'm ready to run, baby
Through the sweet southern pines
Lie down in a bed of camellias
And watch the sun shine

If you're going to Alabama
I could use a change of view
But if you're going to California
That's alright, any place will do
Well, I guess I just wanna go with you

my daddy was a barber
a most unsightly man
he was born in tuscaloosa
but he died right here in birmingham

birmingham, birmingham
the greatest city in alabam'
you can travel 'cross this entire land
but there's no place like birmingham

wife's named mary
but she's called marie
we live in a three room house
with a pepper tree
I work all day in the factory
that's alright with me

got a big black dog
whose name is dan
lives in my backyard in birmingham
he is the meanest dog in alabam'
get 'em dan

birmingham, birmingham
the greatest city in alabam'
you can travel 'cross this entire land
but there's no place like birmingham.

As for the rural stereotypes, I think that rural Alabama is not terribly different from, say, rural Maryland. Rural life is just different. I mean, if you're staying mostly within the urban areas, it's not NYC or SF, but it certainly falls farther from the southern stereotype.

tombot to thred, tootsweet.

http://www.education.uiowa.edu/CR842/teacher/artifacts/7c_space_academy.jpg

They make rocket engines in Huntsville, so there must be a few "rocket scientists" in the state.
Huntsville has more PhD's per capita than anywhere else in the nation if I'm not mistaken. I actually like Huntsville -- if I had to live anywhere in Alabama, that'd be it. I have family up there (one of my aunts works for the space center, actually) and so I've been there a number of times. It's pretty spread out and so everything's not clumped together and it's pretty easy to find your way around there. Nice scenery, too -- the low mountains in particular. I haven't been there in a while, so I can't think of anything else do around there offhand aside from visiting a few caverns (the one underneath the courthouse is closed, but just out-of-town off of U.S. Highway 431 there's Cathedral Caverns, which was reopened a few years ago). Mobile's really drab, I haven't explored much of Montgomery (I've always passed through the outskirts on the way north), and Birmingham/Bessemer's got weird curios like Hitler's Typewriter, Vulcan Park, and old steelmills but it's hellish trying to travel around there. Cullman has the Ave Maria Grotto -- it's sculptures in miniature of old Jerusalem and I find it really charming. Sailing on Lake Guntersville (a Tennessee River reservoir) is really nice -- and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic so I'll stop. I doubt any of that will prove intriguing, but oh well.

And in regard to the question posed in the title subject -- no, parts of Florida (either rural or in urban areas like Panama City, Lakeland, and Jacksonville) are worse. The part of my family that lives in Alabama (and they don't just live in Huntsville, either, if you're wondering -- they're spread throughout the state) is the sanest portion of all. It's a shame they're not biologically related -- they're related to the step-brothers and step-sisters of my father.

Yeah, they're in the TN Valley alright, but still.

I can tell you whoever said "2 hours" to N. Alabama was lying, that shit took me 3.5-4 hours regularly every time I went home from UTK. I mean yeah I was driving all the way to the SE part of Huntsville but still. I had a job one summer in the southernmost part of Tennessee straight north of me and that was still a 1 hour commute each way.

The space and rocket center is absolutely worthwhile, though, there's nowhere else in the country (even the Udvar-Hazy appendix they added to the smithsonian this year) where you can get so close to the actual hardware that put man on the moon etc. I mean the Saturn V, you have to fuckin' see that thing.

Huntsville does have some really good restaurant's, though. I'll see if tomorrow I can find out about that one cajun place in the north part of town, that joint's pretty amazing for the south.

xpost, I don't even remember having an arena football team.

space museum is the place.

beware. it's not the day trip you think it would be.

bandito burrito rules burritoness for huntsville.

for the non-southerner, i'd recommend chatt over coming further down to huntsville which is not an easy interstate route away. maybe i'm crazy. i feel trapped with northern alabama because i married someone from there so i'm a little weird about it.

i like huntsville. b'ham has great parts that are very hospitable. montgomery is okay, but not my bag. most of southern alabama that i've been in was as such... until you get to the gulf.

m.

Just go to Rock City instead. You can see 7 states!

(I have a friend who proved that statement mathematically false, but I choose to ignore him.)

http://www.seerockcity.com/

m.

word!

Oh yea, the Aquarium! Definitely worth the trip! They have either the biggest freshwater or saltwater aquarium in the world, I forget which.

This guy still scares me, but in a good way. Has he been installed back to Red Mountain yet?

In 2002, my brother and I returned to Alabama to find NO STATUE. Apparently, Ol' Vulk had been rusting away and was taken down for repair. My grandmother sent me newspaper clippings of this guy's HEAD in a warehouse somewhere, and even now, twenty-five years after my first visit, that dude gives me the willies.

Be sure to check if he's back before you visit.

Mississippi=dud, though. Except for Oxford.

I can't dispute this. There are reasons why I live here that are beyond my control, otherwise I'd be in a real living, breathing city somewhere.

I haven't been to a casino except to hit the buffet since I went to the Grand in Biloxi. Enjoyed myself too much for comfort.

Good lord yes. We've got kitsch (Rock City), we've got culture (Hunter Museum), we've got a house that looks like a U.F.O. We've got a museum devoted to tow trucks.

Questions? Just ask!

http://www.wcsh6.com/news/national/article.aspx?storyid=44148

Police in Albertville, Alabama say 19-year-old Gary Helms, Junior is charged with raping his 45-year-old mother.

Police say he did it to seek revenge against his brother after the two argued over a girlfriend.

The police report says Helms' mother was passed out drunk on the couch when the rape started.

She came to and recognized her son during the attack.

The police report says his mother tried to get away but Helms held her down until he was finished.

Albertville police Sergeant James Smth says Helms confessed to the attack and was ordered held in the Marshall County Jail on a $100,000 bond.

"From what we understand the rape stemmed from an argument between him and his brother. And apparently they were arguing over a girlfriend. And the rape was some sort of retaliation towards his brother. It's just pretty much a shock to the conscious of the general public."

Okay, I'm in Mobile until Tuesday. Anything I should check out?

Fort Morgan, if it's open.

I think a friend told me recently that Mobile is in the midst of a boom, population or otherwise, after absorbing so many New Orleans refugees. So I bet there's lots to do! Like, um ... casinos?

I do recommend Birmingham, though, which has one of the best Civil Rights museums I've ever seen. Really powerful, especially knowing that a lot of the bad stuff covered took place literally right outside the museum.

my father-in-law is moving to Huntsville next week. i have no idea what i should check out when we go down there to visit him besides BBQ, but i'm really looking forward to the BBQ.

Okay, I'm in Mobile until Tuesday. Anything I should check out?

Oh hey, the old hometown! Let's see, things I enjoyed about Mobile:

1. Leaving
2. Never coming back
3.

OK, that was harsh. We've got a battleship! You can walk around on it and look at the big ol' guns and everything.

i have no idea what i should check out when we go down there to visit him besides BBQ, but i'm really looking forward to the BBQ.

tbh there's not much. I grew up there and was just back visiting a couple weeks ago, and even though I was glad to see people I knew and so on, I can't think of a single fun/cool recommendation for a visitor. There's the US Space & Rocket Center, of course, which is an okay way to kill 3 hours, but it's not free or even cheap. I can say that the bbq place you want to eat at is Whitt's. Gibson's is also good, but Whitt's is A+++.

thanks for the recommendations!

Wow, even the stripmall chinese buffet joints down here have mind-meltingly great seafood

Maybe you can slap some sense into the asshole racist politicians while you are down there, just don't give a ride to any illegals.

Wau at that original post. I love Southern road trips, but if that's the mindset you approach them with, umm...

I have great memories of Montgomery. Went to Dexter Ave. Baptist Church, where MLK was pastor, photographed the Empire Theater, site of Hank Williams' first performance (now demolished for the Rosa Parks museum) and ate at maybe the best meat-and-three I've ever been to, wish I could remember the name.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4097/4885319215_f0519bf555.jpg

Jesus Christ, the seafood down here is insanely great

Tombot lived in Huntsville too?! wow.

photos from today!

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150203435921596.313276.681036595

plenty of hilariously racist shit got signed in to AL state law today, but the artwalk thing in downtown Mobile was great

dude I was a fucking grissom tiger, I graduated with huntsville's rhodes scholar and another dude who is apparently now on the national security staff

Woo! I went to Bob Jones out in Madison, back when it was half suburb brats and half farm kids. (Now it's all suburb brats and, if Wikipedia is to be believed, the biggest high school in the state.)

Had some Grissom friends, mostly of the skater variety.

I was in Huntsville in Easter Week, 1990. I went to Space Academy. It was awesome.

I went to Space Camp when they were filming the movie Space Camp (just a few exteriors, etc). I didn't meet anyone, but I did see Lea Thompson eating lunch from about 100 feet away. Was a crazy Back to the Future fan at the time, so that was probably the coolest thing that had ever happened in my 12 year old world.

Don't know about BBQ in the rest of the state but Dreamland in Birmingham is amazing (the Dreamland in Tuscaloosa is supposed to be even better.)

re. Mobile, I had a good meal (of shrimp & grits) at Wintzell's Oyster House a few years back.

re. Huntsville area, I'm partial to Big Bob Gibson's BBQ, in Decatur. I've been there a bunch of times, once at 10am, for a nice breakfast of ribs.

re. Birmingham, I don't think Dreamland's bbq is particularly special, but their banana pudding is ridiculously great.

opinions for you!

Okay, I'm in Mobile until Tuesday. Anything I should check out?

― Crazed Mister Handy (kingfish), Thursday, June 9, 2011 9:33 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

The Blind Mule does decent, well-priced food and it's a quality place for a drink. Good folk in there.

The Brick Pit on Old Shell Road, near the university, does great BBQ. It's also right next door to Satori Coffee House, where I worked for a while back when it was a record store. Good people there too.

Also if you find yourself downtown at 2am and still fancy drinking, step into Hayley's for the ultimate Mobile dive bar experience. It's open until 5 or so. Watch the sun come up and throw up in one of the big garbage cans in there.

You can also drive across the bay to downtown Fairhope for some pretty little shops (though I'm not sure there's much worth buying there). Still there's a nice little pier and a little park.

Oh kingfish, you got a pic of my friend's promoting their film The Night Shift!

Yeah, I got to meet those guys at the artwalk last night. They seemed cool. I told them to get in touch with Lurker Films and the folks behind the Lovecraft and Zompire filmfests to get the word out about their flick.

Mobile has far more cute art chicks than I was expecting.

Here's the political fun going on:

http://www.patheos.com/community/slacktivist/2011/06/10/for-you-were-aliens-in-the-land-of-egypt/

...One of the chief bill sponsors, state Sen. Scott Beason (R-Gardendale), a member of First Baptist Church of Gardendale, told a breakfast gathering in Cullman County earlier this year that Republicans needed to “empty the clip” on the immigration issue, according to the Cullman Times.

“The reality is that if you allow illegal immigration to continue in your area, you will destroy yourself eventually,” said the senator.*

The Brick Pit on Old Shell Road, near the university, does great BBQ. It's also right next door to Satori Coffee House, where I worked for a while back when it was a record store. Good people there too.

Holy shit, I used to buy music there back when it was the only decent record store in Mobile (as opposed to now, where there's a Best Buy and that's it).

The appearance of that Best Buy is what brought about adding on a coffee shop and moving the record store into the back. And then eventually phasing out the record store.

What years did you work at Satori? Kind of curious whether I may have bought stuff from you.

Not very long. On and off from late 2000 to late 2002.

Went to the Flea Market Mobile today. It was...something. There were a horrifying amount of puppy breeders there.

Posted more photos!

here

and

here

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/253664_10150204058831596_681036595_7704424_3623112_n.jpg

Yeah, I noticed when I was back in Alabama a couple weeks ago that anything which can have an "In memory of ________" declaration on it WILL have such a declaration.

Heading down to Gulf Shores today

you should go kick it down at the Florabama.

unless you don't like shitty things

Heading down to Gulf Shores today

― Crazed Mister Handy (kingfish), Sunday, June 12, 2011 11:44 AM (41 minutes ago)

If you see my brother in law, tell him to quit taking vacations he can't afford and then shitting on the govt about deficits.

Wau at that original post. I love Southern road trips, but if that's the mindset you approach them with, umm...

Sorry you don't pay any attention to politics, but the day I posted that was the same day they passed the incredibly offensive anti-immigration bill.

You were Calzer?

Haha no, I was referring to Dan Peterson's response to my post about smacking sense into the politicians.

I think his post just followed yours, but was not a response to yours.

Oh, hah, yeah, I totally misread his! Oops.

Went to Fort Morgan! Enjoyed it! Was reminded of the historical interpreter gig I had as a teenager when I saw that they had costumed employees there.

Peak 'Murica:

'Alabama woman charged after losing unborn baby in shooting'

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-48789836

Surprise! Surprise! She's a black woman. And another woman shot her in the stomach. Can someone plz waterboard that prosecutor several times a day for a month, under a physician's supervision, of course, so it's perfectly safe and harmless.

I’m going to end up in prison

Literally argued w two people suggesting it was an appropriate punishment cos the victim started a fight.

Supposedly prosecutors deciding whether to possibly dismiss charges

Police chief should be beaten

The news story I read specifically said an indictment had been handed down, meaning a prosecutor had already brought it to a grand jury, who obliged and indicted. It's Alabama, after all.

Literally argued w two people suggesting it was an appropriate punishment cos the victim started a fight.

Police chief should be be beaten

Xpost

"While the grand jury has had its say, our office is in the process of evaluating this case and has not yet made a determination about whether to prosecute it as a manslaughter case, reduce it to a lesser charge or not to prosecute it,’’ said a statement from the office of District Attorney Lynneice Washington.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D-D_4p6U4AESkR1?format=jpg&name=large

I thought the update to this thread was gonna be about the guy who was giving meth to his “attack squirrel” he named Deez Nutz.

http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2019/06/this-day-in-labor-history-june-30-1928

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ej56ZYbWoAIYLWY?format=jpg&name=medium