What do you not like about Australia and New Zealand?

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1. Far away--flights are expensive

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

ah, but flights to NZ from Australia are cheap!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

but flights to perth are expensive!

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

About Australia:

John Howard and our backwards looking right wing 1950s white picket fence government.
Our refugee policies.
The way our health system is veering dangerously towards a US style "look after yourself" one.
Sydney (sorry, Sydneysiders!).
The Herald-Scum magazine, A Current Affair, Steve Price, Andrew Bolt and everything of their ilk.
Bogans.

Umm... wow I really sound like I hate it here heh.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

what is there not to like?

well, ok, i could think of a few things but nothing major.
i mean, you can get used to the awful aussie accent over time (joking ok! i acquired it myself after 17 years there )

oh, x-post trayce. and hey i lived in sydney, its great!
you forgot to mention that oh-so-smugly-irritating richard somethingorother on the australian 60 minutes.

― donna (donna), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I echo the far away bit.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Australian accents are wicked cool!

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Tasmania kind of weirded me out in that I saw *no* non-white people while I was there. Um, and if you arrive from the States when it's summer down there, you're not thinking "yeah, it's summer, put on sunscreen" and so you're pretty much guaranteed to get a terrible sunburn in the first few days.

Other than that, Australia is awesome.

― lyra (lyra), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:00 (twenty-two years ago)

oh-so-smugly-irritating richard somethingorother on the australian 60 minutes

richard carleton is bad but mike munro is worse

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:17 (twenty-two years ago)

new zealand seems extremely interesting, australia less so

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i was under the impression you hated all australians regardless

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate the way people just don't look after their artists and scientists over here the way they do in, say, Berlin. If we valued Australian art and science as much as we care about sport... aaah, but I'm dreaming.

What I like about Sydney is the artists and musicians. They have had all the airs and graces knocked out of them through neglect and contempt. Also, once they move overseas, they carve it up, cos they're used to working very hard for little or no reward.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:34 (twenty-two years ago)

either that or their drug addictions get worse and they return to their hometown shattered and melty-faced

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. It breaks some of them too. Hey, that's another thing about Australia I don't like. Smackie former musicians nicking my gear.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:36 (twenty-two years ago)

hear bloody hear

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:38 (twenty-two years ago)

if you arrive from the States when it's summer down there, you're not thinking "yeah, it's summer, put on sunscreen" and so you're pretty much guaranteed to get a terrible sunburn in the first few days.

yeah it's pretty freaking annoying they get all the seasons upside down! They're celebrating spring in autumn!

I don't understand how people can find Australia uninteresting of all things. Hello - oldest continuous culture ever, some of the most fucked up racist/genocidal etc stuff ever, the most amazing fauna, the penal history, the vastness, Uluru...
?????????

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 05:54 (twenty-two years ago)

the bummer about new zealand is rugby culture.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 07:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Gerard Henderson, Eddie McGuire

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 08:53 (twenty-two years ago)

nz currently does not have enough good bands. of course, we do have the lady ms lurex, and thank god for her.

we need bands that aren't looking into the northern hemisphere, or across the ditch, before they've written their first song.

we also need artists who make more art than they talk about making.

and we need cheap flights to places other than aussie or the pacific islands.

and we need our student loans written off or more jobs with better pay to be created so it doesn't matter.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

:-D cheers, clare. i agree with you completely on points 2, 4 and 5. but i'm pretty happy with the dunedin band scene as long as rainy, simon comber and the futurians are here.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

St Kilda.

― Nellie (nellskies), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Buuuttt don't kiwi's get grant money handed to them on a silver platter???? It's not that easy in the U$A.......

To answer the question The distance from the US, Frente!, and Shihad

― brg30 (brg30), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Shihad are Australian now! They can have 'em!

― Bill E (bill_e), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

the way the question is phrased suggests that Australia and New Zealand are really similar/the same places? is this really the case? i think a lot of New Zealanders get annoyed about being lumped as the Australia-affiliated sometimes (a guy i lived with did anyway, but his girlfriend was Australian and i must admit i got confused sometimes)

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Australia is being lumped as New Zealand-affiliated!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't like the deification of rugby players, people on telly, farmers and old-school business men. I don't like the preservation of man's right to huntin, fishin, and 4 wheel drivin, over all else. I don't like the racism. I don't like the way women get paid less than men for equal work. I don't like the way that special, brilliant people feel they can't succeed here and have to go overseas.

NZ students do not in any sense get money handed to them on a silver platter. In fact, if you ask about scholarships etc at any NZ university they say "if you go to the USA, you are bound to get some kind of grant"

― isadora (isadora), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't mean to suggest that AU and NZ were the same--just that they are in the same general area, I am very intrigued by them, and couldn't think of much that was bad about either of them.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

oz is god's own country, of course. well, it will be once we get rid of cane toads, mosquitos and abos.

do you just not like sydney Trayce, or do you activiely dislike it?

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't actively dislike it at all, in fact it puzzles me why I don't like the place - I've tried to - its just something in the atmosphere that's never sat right with me. Newtown's pretty cool though. I guess I'm just a Melbournite :)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

How's Brisbane? Adelaide?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

trayce OTM. and we don't have Shihad, we have Pacifier

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

adelaide is dull(ish) and has churches. brisbane i've never been to. perth is hot and pretty and has at least one ace record store.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

the way the question is phrased suggests that Australia and New Zealand are really similar/the same places?

My favorite story involving Shayne Carter, as told by him in an interview:

MIGHTY LEMON DROPS (very much an English band) GUY: "So you're from Australia?"

SHAYNE: "Actually, no, we're from New Zealand."

MLD GUY: "Australia, New Zealand, isn't it all the same thing?"

SHAYNE: "Fuck off, you Irish git."

Thus.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

SAHYNE!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Australian accents are wicked cool!

Hahahaha. No.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never heard anyone say that they liked Aust accents before.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a rather "aussie" accent AND I HATE IT. :(

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

actually, as i don't live in sydney any more i can join in the slagging! its expensive! its full of wankers! newtown is fine if yer the son or daughter of a rich man.

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Boo hoo! Am I the only Sydneysider left?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

aussie accents are at once cute and uncouth!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes exactly. And that's the type of person I like the most.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I feel less selfconcious now. I think.

Moite.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

pity the rest of me doesn't have more cute

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Cute and uncouth is a perfect description of the kind of woman I like too.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 September 2003 00:41 (twenty-two years ago)

strangely enough, me too.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 September 2003 01:19 (twenty-two years ago)

the flags

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:05 (twenty-two years ago)

yep good point.
also -
i have just watched 'the wild thornberries' with my son, and they have been showing episodes of them in aus and nz, with the most atrocious attempts at local accents i have heard in a long time! that is somehing i find annoying - no one else seems able to get the accents right. is there a lack of nz and aus actors over there or something? surely not. just hire them for fuckssake and get it right!

― donna (donna), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

The worst attempts I ever heard were on that Simpsons episode.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:22 (twenty-two years ago)

outback steakhouses are ridiculously overrated

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:29 (twenty-two years ago)

btw colin i may not live there anymore but i am still a confirmed ' sydneysider' at heart.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Hooray Donna!

Blounty, the very phrase 'outback steakhouse' pins you as a Yank, right there.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:37 (twenty-two years ago)

the Church

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:41 (twenty-two years ago)

John Farnham
Jimmy Barnes
Marcia Hines
Mark Holden
John Howard of course

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:43 (twenty-two years ago)

our dollar is so worthless in exchange to european or american currencies.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought it was at its highest in years recently?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:54 (twenty-two years ago)

(aus) pauline hansen
(nz) richard prebble, winston peters, john banks.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:55 (twenty-two years ago)

supposedly it is andrew, but i remember a time when we had 86c to the us dollar exchange....(* sighs as this confirms my oncoming dotage if i am using the phrase ' i remember a time when...)

― donna (donna), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, my youth is to blame.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 18 September 2003 06:00 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks :-) very kind.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 18 September 2003 06:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I LOVE the Church! and The Word, are they from Australia? ("i kiss the ground i stand on, I move around in circles"). The badness is all in the Olivia Newton-John and the...nah I can't think of any bad NZ singers.

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Thursday, 18 September 2003 08:13 (twenty-two years ago)

whats wrong with onj?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 September 2003 08:20 (twenty-two years ago)

grease, woman! grease!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 September 2003 08:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i saw australia , a bunch of it, out the window of a plane the other day....man that place is super big! i mean duh already knew that but for reals it seemed to take longer to cross australia than it did the whole tasman sea, & look at a map, that is wrong! isn't it? & crikey it's just miles & miles & miles Of total martian bleakness....i thought it was pretty awesome. i dunno what's not to like about it, i never really been there.

― duane, Thursday, 18 September 2003 08:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Having just watched a bit of evening TV may I add the Footy Show to this list? Kill Eddie McEverywhere and Sam "knowitallsmartarse" Newman. NOW. Osama are you listening? Gah.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 18 September 2003 09:25 (twenty-two years ago)

pauline hanson is in jail now

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 September 2003 09:32 (twenty-two years ago)

If the Government was really serious about deterring asylum seekers, they'd burn Woomera down and just play The Footy Show on giant video screens every 100 yards along the coastline.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 18 September 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, I know there's dangerous ones like redbacks but these just give me the willies:

http://www.austmus.gov.au/factsheets/images/huntsman.jpg

― robster (robster), Thursday, 18 September 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, and the funnel web spider as well

― robster (robster), Thursday, 18 September 2003 09:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The Sportsmen, Shane Warne apart, and Ian Thorpe.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh come on, theres no defending Warney!

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

British women find Australian men attractive. The bastards.

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Bowling Warney! there, Warney defended - possibly the best spin bowler ever, even I was up off my seat when he bowled Gatting first ball, plus he's just about the only modern day Australian sportsman to play the game with a smile on his face. Maybe it's because he's still pissed but hey.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

British women find Australian men attractive. The bastards.

i fucken wish, man

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

if this is true give emmy kate montrose my phone number

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:23 (twenty-two years ago)

The (AFL) Footy Show may be shite on a stick but compared to the Sydney ARL equivalent it's Mastermind.

One of the great things about Australia is that a complete cretin like Shane Warne can find his own niche for himself and become a national hero.

However, one of the really naff things about Australia is that a complete cretin like Shane Warne can.....

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

score chicks

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Speaking of trapdoor spiders, I had to dispense with one a couple of nights ago. It may actually have been a mouse spider as its abdomen was the size of a matchbox. Tried to hit it twice with my girlfriend's heel, but missed in the dark (she had run out of the room - geez I hate beiong a man sometimes). Then it jumped across the hallway and disappeared. It may still be in the house somewhere or it may have flattened itself and crawled under the front door. Summer must be coming, then.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course a real Aussie man or woman would've put a takeaway container over it, then slid the lid underneath; then carefully carried it out and set it loose in the wild. But I'm a cowardly pom.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 September 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

The things I like about Australia definitely outweigh the things I don't like. However...

1. You can't just get the Eurostar to Paris. And in general, you have to make such a fucking effort to get out of the country. This is a real downer.

2. People dress crappily (applies to everywhere except Melbourne).

3. The pubs in Sydney are either scummy or bland - I mean I like scummy pubs but sometimes I want something else.

4. Too many fucking Thai restaurants in Sydney - ditto above, I love Thai but sometimes I want something else.

5. Apart from SBS, TV is shite. Newspapers are shite, and they are all owned by two people. Radio National, on the other hand, is good.

6. The whole sport obsession thing can get really boring.

7. Too much navel-gazing about national identity in the media, literature, etc.

8. There's no real international metropolis in Australia. After London, even Sydney sort of seems like one big country town.

9. Darling Harbour.

10. The bad excuse for a beach at St Kilda.

11. Perth.

12. Why don't cafés have alcohol licences in Sydney, like they do in Melbourne? It's make life a whole lot more civilised.

13. Sydney's city centre has no soul.

14. People can be extraordinarily upfront about their racism.

15. John Howard is popular, for chrissakes.

16. Sydney house prices make London look like a cheap option. I couldn't afford to buy even a hovel anywhere I'd want to live.

17. Men wear shorts with long socks.

18. Apart from in Melbourne, there's a severe lack of cultural sustenance, even in Sydney, particularly in Sydney.

19. Darlinghurst used to be nice, then they put freeways all through it.

20. Australian cheese is bland and industrial-tasting.

― Lady Grinning Soul, Thursday, 18 September 2003 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

even Coon!?!?!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 September 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

what's wrong with Perth? I liked it there, the food was fantastic

― chris (chris), Thursday, 18 September 2003 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i certainly didn't move to st kilda for the beach. i moved here for the junkies and hookers

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 September 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The Margeret River area south of Perth is spectacular. But Perth itself? It's one big suburb in search of a city. Not awful, but sort of boring and Perth people have a real chip on their shoulder about people from "out east".

As for Coon cheese... proves my point exactly.

The Twistie roll is one of Australia's great additions to world cuisine, though.

― Lady Grinning Soul, Thursday, 18 September 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

fair point on Perth itself i spose, but Margaret River = amazingly good

― chris (chris), Thursday, 18 September 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

The tacky aspects of Queensland are SO in-your-face. I don't know if Qld really has more socio-cultural troglodytes, racists and rednecks per square yard, or even per thousand population, than the rest of Australia, but the ones they do have seem so much more entrenched, louder and more arrogant.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 18 September 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually the whole parochial State rivalry thing is all incredibly tiresome. Evbery State tabloid is convinced the national cricket selectors have a set against their players, for instance.

LGS picked up the WA paranoia, I noted how up themselves in their ignorance Queenslanders can be, Sydney, well NSW does stand for Nocturnal Sunglass Wearers, doesn't it? I'm sure NSW has exactly the same opinion of some of Melbourne's pretensions, SA is full of their non-convict origins, etc etc etc...should anybody care about all this childish sniping, except grandstanding second rate State-level politicians?

And does anybody except the GSRSLP referred to in last paragraph have a good word to say about The Great Aussie Federalism?

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 18 September 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Federalism is a monumental waste of resources for a country with a population as small as Australia's and leads to seriously distorted representation - Tasmania has much more political clout than its piddly population of 400,000 merits.

― Lady Grinning Soul, Thursday, 18 September 2003 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Tasmania's population is 400,000?

I live in Edinburgh, Scotland. Edinburgh's population is 450,000 (plus the entire 18-25 population of Australia and New Zealand), and I always whinge that we're a small city. Wow, Tasmania must be empty.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 18 September 2003 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

About half of Tasmania is national park.

― Susan (Susan), Thursday, 18 September 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"I LOVE the Church!"

oh yeah, I do too.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 September 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

We have some great cheeses here, people, geez! Tilba's ABC factory makes some brilliant stuff, and King Island have some gorgeous rich bries and camemberts...

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 19 September 2003 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh and saying St Kilda has a crap beach is pointless - you dont come to Melbourne for its beaches - we're a bayside city, not a beachside one. I never regarded Melbourne as being "beachy" whatsoever.

But then I've been spoiled by the gorgeous beaches on the NSW south coast I grew up spending time on as a kid...

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 19 September 2003 00:47 (twenty-two years ago)

the sydney footy show is awesome! the best thing on tv!

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 19 September 2003 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Gaz, your off-hand comment about 'abos' up-thread may be a real moccasins-in-the-mouth effort, but it would be absolutely typical of Footy Show (esp Sydney) watchers I would think.
If I ever got jack enough of Australia to leave, it would be dumb throwback Ockers like Gaz making too big a comeback, that made it happen.

― Karen, Friday, 19 September 2003 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah gaz stop being such an 'ocker'

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 19 September 2003 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

If we're not careful we'll all trick ourselves into talking about national identity again.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Friday, 19 September 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

ouch karen. the comment about abo's was, uh, ironic. the footy show is actually funny. that doesn't mean i have to think its audience is pc or cop its attitudes as my own.

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 19 September 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Gaz was satirising that attitude, not espousing it on his own behalf.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Friday, 19 September 2003 03:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah. Irony. Drop a clanger then claim you were just trolling. It's the oldest and lamest exit strategy in the book.

― Karen, Friday, 19 September 2003 05:08 (twenty-two years ago)

is there something about gaz you know that you're not telling us?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 19 September 2003 05:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah umm... whuh? Seriously Karen, unless you know something we dont we can assure you he was just kidding. At least I'm quite sure of it.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 19 September 2003 05:14 (twenty-two years ago)

(must every joke have to have emoticons online to be bleedin' obvious? arrr.... keelhaul the mainblast etc etc)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 19 September 2003 05:15 (twenty-two years ago)

This swarthy swab is aimin at a short trip off the plank at the end of my cutlass to Davey Jones' locker, says I!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 19 September 2003 05:22 (twenty-two years ago)

OK. I'll take your word for it, this time he was being ironic, or whatever. But the general comment about 'I was only kidding' being well past it as a face-saving position holds.

― Karen, Friday, 19 September 2003 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

You hear that Gaz? Pull ya head in, ya racist b*****d. Arrrgh, me hearties.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Friday, 19 September 2003 05:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Arr! Hoist the mainframe!

No wait... that doesn't sound right.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 19 September 2003 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"The worst attempts I ever heard were on that Simpsons episode. "

No obviously these were the best attempts! "Chuzzwozzers"! "Beer-eer!"

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Friday, 19 September 2003 08:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Somehow I doubt the Simpsons was (were?) going for authenticity.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 19 September 2003 08:08 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, otherwise the simpsons would have been 'committing suicide' in prison rather than being booted

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 19 September 2003 08:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"If I ever got jack enough of Australia to leave, it would be dumb throwback Ockers....making too big a comeback, that made it happen."

Karen, two words should be enough to send you hurrying to the Post Office for a passport application: John Singleton.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 19 September 2003 09:13 (twenty-two years ago)

three weeks pass...

revive thread! I'm thinking of going to Aus or NZ for the winter, but can't decide which one. the thing that puts me off NZ is my impression that it's a bit too English... am i completely off the mark there? what else is there except beautiful country and lots of sheep? Aus seems a little more exciting and less conservative... please enlighten me

― freedom dupont, Monday, 13 October 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Too English! Rather Scottish, more accurately. Personally I think it's a touch too much like the Alps meets Hawaii to be called the UK Mark II but obviously you'll find plenty of similarities...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Really, Australasia is just like Scandinavia. People here see income tax as their contribution to a progressive society. The vestiges of patriarchy and the objectification of women are being washed away by an increasingly humanistic sentiment. Similarly, immigration by non-Europeans is encouraged in order to increase diversity, rather than to impose Western culture upon the non-Western world. Intellectual pursuits are valued over boorish contact sports, while these are preserved at a local level simply in order to facilitate community spirit and individual health. A typical conversation with a stranger at a bus stop will range from a discussion of the difference between Werner Herzog's documentaries and his fictional works, to a polite disagreement over whether Maori interests are best served by purely Iwi representation or a combination of Iwi and urban Maori collectives. The best time for visiting is between April and March, when the social order is parodied in a series of carnivals featuring such festivities as a parade lead by the mentally ill. These carnivals are sponsored by the government.

― Minister of Truth (m .s), Monday, 13 October 2003 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't tell if you're taking the mick or not

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 13 October 2003 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I read Minister of Truth's post standing on my head and I found myself agreeing with it.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 01:15 (twenty-two years ago)

you know that Simpsons episode set in Australia where the governor is sitting in a rubber tire drinking beer in a pond and yells "Oi! What's the good word"? Which country has more of that?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

music wise this is really tough. New Zealand's got MORE bands I like (and the only band I've ever decided to pay international postage to hear) but Australia has...AC/DC. Tough, tough, tough.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

woah. Why am I writing TS: Australia vs. New Zealand style posts? never mind.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

We also have that rapping beatbox guy from Australian Idol.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

NZ is definitely better - their PM is a hottie.

― lint (Jack), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I dislike everything except AC/DC. And poss Warney.

Actually I think what I really would fucking hate is all the South Africans who moved there after '94, yeah let's just find somewhere where we can have a barbecue and watch rugby for EVER and EVER and you know what? there's fuckloads of SAND there to stick your STUpid FUCKing shot-put of a head in and you can write emails about "Quality of Life" home and about how the only teeny thing you find difficult is shouting at WHITE builders and gardeners but fuck broo, they've got it right here, hey, gorra lekker beach and the DAHVing's fentestuck! Cunts.

Sorry. It's not Australia's fault, I know. I suspect I'd like it there too so I don't have a leg to stand on.

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 06:45 (twenty-two years ago)

the thing that puts me off NZ is my impression that it's a bit too English... am i completely off the mark there?

christchurch is v british, dunedin is v scottish.

NZ is definitely better - their PM is a hottie.

i used to think that till she shafted the green party. i am fickle like that.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 08:00 (twenty-two years ago)

how cheap are flights between Auckland and Syndey?

anyone been to Nimbin... c or d? Byron Bay?

― freedom dupont, Tuesday, 14 October 2003 08:26 (twenty-two years ago)

dunedin water does not meet WHO standards.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

i went to byron bay when i was 14. swam around a headland to get to the nudie beach. spent a lot of time there. got blood blisters from extreme sunburn all over back. had to stay inside tent for remainder of holiday, only coming out at night.

i hear its changed though.

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Arr! Hoist the mainframe!

That's what we electronic pirates shout.

Can we change the thread title to 'Come anticipate Australia and New Zealand with me' so that people who haven't been there can pontificate about them too?

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd rather you didn't

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

See initial post.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you been here Momus? Scottish tourists like it here in my experience. The girls are easy and there's plenty to drink.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

the sewrage in dunedin isn't treated properly before they dump it out at sea. "swim at this beach at your own risk". nice one, DCC. its almost like they DON'T WANT anyone to live here.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i was wondering if you could swim...you can surf, yeah? ( i know nothing about nz :-( )

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I just read that the Sydney brothels are hiring 30% more dominatrices in order to prepare for the influx of upper class English Rugby fans arriving here for the World Cup.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i read that too. interesting.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 02:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I was looking for a career change... hmmmm...

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

On a more serious note I went to Byron/Lismore once too, lovely area. The backyards have no fences, this I found really interesting. Just big wodges of land with houses all over 'em.

We went swimming at Byron and the tide brought in a HUGE flood of goddamn blue bottles, and I got stung on the leg. The lifeguards came equipped with huge bottles of white vinegar.

At least I didnt cop a stinger in the eye like some poor kid did. You cant exactly pour the vinegar on an eyeball.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

You can if you're a dominatrix.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

One thing I've always hated about Australia, and which I'm bracing myself to experience again, is the barrage of taxpayer funded propaganda that the Liberal government throws at TV and radio as we approach an election under the guise of providing information to the public.

You know how these ads go - first, a reassuring acoustic guitar figure, then a variety of hard working suckers - fruit shop owners, mums, engineers, etc - ask the camera to help them understand why a particular piece of legislation which deprives them of a series of rights is actually good for them. The voiceover explains that it means more choice, more money, more safety, and more opportunities. They all nod thoughfully, thoroughly persuaded.

― moley, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 11:24 (eighteen years ago)

the bullshit espirit de corps among all antipodeans is obnoxious. also, put on a good face and stab you in back

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 12:24 (eighteen years ago)

- cheap
- irresponsible drunks
- loud

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 12:31 (eighteen years ago)

Hahahah moley otm :(

― Trayce, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 12:53 (eighteen years ago)

BTW Jon you just had student wankers staying with you, wouldnt matter where they'dve been from tbh!

We are all loud drunks though.

― Trayce, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 12:54 (eighteen years ago)

Trayce, they were not undergrads though. One of the couch surfers was an ARCHITECT.

Also they knocked over my nintendo wii while drunk and didn't tell me.

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 12:56 (eighteen years ago)

this one girl.

― emsk, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 13:25 (eighteen years ago)

The folks who said they didn't like NZ's racism were on the money.

Having lived away from my homeland for 3+ years I am starting to only remember the good stuff, however my daily perusal of the NZ Herald reminds me that I can definitely live without the horrendous child abuse and suicide stats. Also, Suzanne Paul just won 'Dancing with the Stars'.

I do miss the beach though.

― franny glass, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 14:02 (eighteen years ago)

"One thing I've always hated about Australia, and which I'm bracing myself to experience again, is the barrage of taxpayer funded propaganda that the Liberal government throws at TV and radio as we approach an election under the guise of providing information to the public."

For real this is worse now than ever! They have ads about the changes to Workchoices, private health insurance and super all on at once! And they're about to add the ad campaign about how they've been climate change heroes all along. I mean, the labor govt did this too, but they never had so many different strings to their bow all at once.

― Tim F, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 14:13 (eighteen years ago)

Wait is this a federal election?

― sunny successor, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 16:31 (eighteen years ago)

Geez I'm glad I dont watch TV.

― Trayce, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 16:36 (eighteen years ago)

this one girl.

-- emsk, Tuesday, May 29, 2007 1:25 PM

Better not be talking trash 'bout me, Emsk! ;)

― marianna lcl, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 16:37 (eighteen years ago)

lol, course not. there appears to be only one spanner in the works of my life atm and it is this one girl :/ grr, i want to send her back.

― emsk, Tuesday, 29 May 2007 17:19 (eighteen years ago)

Australia:

1. mean peeps
2. asian haters
3. lame accent
4. self haters
5. "reckon"
6. tall poppy syndrome
7. best beaches in the world ruined by appalling surf culture
8. nowhere near enough snow
9. 10 months of summer

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 13:19 (eighteen years ago)

Well, I for one can't WAIT to go home this year.

― marianna lcl, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 13:40 (eighteen years ago)

I was in Australia recently for the first time in five years, and it felt somehow worse. More redneck. Lots of Australian flags everywhere which I don't remember from before, and which I'm thinking is sort of coded racism because for years and decades they talked about changing the flag to chop out the union jack in the corner, but now there's no more talk of that and I get the impression that the flag has become a sort of symbol of white bread anglo-saxonism. Lots of paranoid crap about Islam... I don't know, I was only in Sydney, it might be different elsewhere. (And yet, John Howard is still prime minister, what the fuck.)

― underpants of the gods, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 13:47 (eighteen years ago)

sunny successor largely otm.

That's so true about the flags, they're fucking everywhere. It's so...American.
And yeah, especially "post-Cronulla" the flag is totally a 'sort of symbol of white bread anglo-saxonism'. I agree.

- cheap
- irresponsible drunks
- loud

This is also how Americans are viewed down here. Well, not the cheap part.

― Drooone, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 22:56 (eighteen years ago)

Well, at least you have an accurate view of Americans as long as that American is me.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 22:58 (eighteen years ago)

...sunny successor not completely otm as I'm sure there are better beaches elsewhere.

<self-hater/>

― Drooone, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 22:59 (eighteen years ago)

I guess it's a fairly cliched thing to say, but there are fuckwits and non-fuckwits wherever you go.

― Drooone, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 23:01 (eighteen years ago)

to anybody: Why do you think there's an abnormally high rate of child abuse and suicide in NZ?

― Granny Dainger, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

Because like Australia, 'It's the arse end of the world'.

― Drooone, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 23:21 (eighteen years ago)

Why do you think there's an abnormally high rate of child abuse and suicide in NZ?

Poverty, institutional racism, gang culture, macho bloke culture and tall-poppy syndrome.

― franny glass, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:36 (eighteen years ago)

I like how I sound so sure of the definitiveness of my answer.

― franny glass, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:38 (eighteen years ago)

That's right, there's been intense gang fighting in NZ lately. Or has there always been intense gang fighting? Also, whereabouts does it take place?

― Drooone, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:40 (eighteen years ago)

...sunny successor not completely otm as I'm sure there are better beaches elsewhere.

<self-hater/>

-- Drooone, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 5:59 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Drooone, I grew up on Cronulla Beach so, you know...

― sunny successor, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:49 (eighteen years ago)

There has always been intense gang culture. It seems to be very intrenched in the smaller towns/rural areas, but they're everywhere, as far as I know.

It's in the news lately because a gang-member's (infant?) child was recently killed in a drive-by shooting. And possibly for other reasons, but I am following NZ news from a distance.

― franny glass, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:50 (eighteen years ago)

xpost Yeah, I grew up at fckn Coolangatta. I'd say very similar places, very similar fuckwit/oblivious surfies.

― Drooone, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:51 (eighteen years ago)

I have an idea what tall-poppy syndrome means but could someone explain...?

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:55 (eighteen years ago)

It essentially means hating on people who are more successful than you.

― Drooone, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:56 (eighteen years ago)

Oh right, everyday life. (I loathe everyone.)

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:57 (eighteen years ago)

Bizarro Ned might loathe everyone, but not this Ned, surely.

― moley, Thursday, 31 May 2007 01:08 (eighteen years ago)

True!

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 31 May 2007 01:10 (eighteen years ago)

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