is preferring to eat pizza with a knife and fork wrong?

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am i a bad person?

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

unspeakably so

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

how hot is the pizza?

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

this is sick

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

la dee da mr frenchman

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

let the pizza cool a bit more, then you don't have to descend to the level of animals by eating it with utensils.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Option One: Knife and fork.
Option Two: Hands.
Option Three: Feet.
Option Four: Teeth only.

It's all good. It all depends on where you're from. (But wash your feet first.)

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm british with french mother (this may have summat to do with it). I just hate getting a big cheese beard - also if you add tomato slices like i do, you run the risk of burning your lower lip off when you try and bite into it.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

if its not a takeway (i.e. its a supermarket pizza) i do start off with knife and fork, cutting it into slices then eating from the inside out - this is probably also quite twisted

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

with each one steve imagines another enemy, cut down in his prime by "el mannion".

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

nothing wrong with it at all. Especially if it's too hot, too messy or you're trying not to scarf it down so quickly.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

stevem do you mean that you make a hole in the pizza and then eat "outward" to the edge?? (or, even more difficult, you suck out the inner dough and tomato layer from within, leaving a shell of crispy crust and cheese)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

new band name: The Pizza Felchers

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"supermarket pizza" - the phrase fills me with dread, but i was relieved to discover that supermarket pizza is not, in fact, pizza

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it like pavement pizza?

― adaml (adaml), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

in London it's like nan or paratha, but with italian-stylee toppings

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it like pavement pizza?

Yes, except it's not topped with little chunks of Stephen Malkmus

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

damn

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

The only way to eat something so greasy is with fork and knife, you filthy poppists.

― Sir Leee (Leee), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

No spoon?

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Or is that too hip-hop?

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the only way to eat real pizza. real pizza meaning chicago pizza, of course.

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

nothing outside of the 13 original colonies is "real"

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

KING GEORGE 4EVAH

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.yessirnigel.com/kingandqueensmall.JPG

― the surface noise (electricsound), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Deep dish/thick crust pizza = proper pizza. Other attempts = heathenish. Saved from damnation = Ray's Pizza across the way from UCI, because the sauce there is the shiznitz.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Eating pizza with knife and fork is less wrong than putting pineapple on pizza, which is the wrongiest wrong this side of Wrongtown.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 29 September 2003 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey Ned, could you be any more American?

Real pizza - from Italy, you know? That place that looks like a boot? - is traditionally thin-crusted and almost crispy in its bakedness.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 29 September 2003 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Andrew, I kiss you :)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 29 September 2003 00:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey Ned, could you be any more American?

Yay! Oh, and pineapple on pizza is great, as stated many other times on this board.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 September 2003 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

heh, real pizza from italy

― jonas lefrel (jonas lefrel), Monday, 29 September 2003 01:34 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.plumsite.com/aevecchio/sicily.jpg

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 29 September 2003 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Thin-crusted Old World Italian pizza must only be eaten with the hands. If you can fold it up in half and bite into it, that's even better.

Delicious Chicago-style deep dish pizza must only be eaten on a plate, with a knife and fork. To do otherwise would be pure folly.

There. That settled it. ;)

― Legendary Nothingness (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 29 September 2003 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Knife and fork for me, with all types of pizza. Else I end-up wearing large portions of the toppings and sauce across my bosom-shelf, which means that I end-up spending all of my money on new shirts. Or I have to eat with my shirt off, which is not always smiled upon in this backward state.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 29 September 2003 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

some countries dont have forks

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 29 September 2003 04:48 (twenty-one years ago)

fork 'em

― oops (Oops), Monday, 29 September 2003 05:11 (twenty-one years ago)

if pizzerias were to provide decent utensils, then i'd be all for eating with a knife and fork ... esp. when the pizza is so fucking hot.

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Monday, 29 September 2003 05:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Thick crust pizza is best for eating with the hand, and I don't mean the Chicago-style "pies." Those require either substantial cooling or utensils. Thin New York pizza is often like pouring hot cheese fondue down your unsuspecting gullet, and I can see how some might prefer a fork to certain self-mutilation. I will not accuse someone of being a pussy just because they don't want to burn themselves. I will, however, accuse someone of being an idiot for trying to eat something that is plainly inedible.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 29 September 2003 05:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Thin New York pizza is often like pouring hot cheese fondue down your unsuspecting gullet, and I can see how some might prefer a fork to certain self-mutilation.

exactly ... i love thin NY-style pizza (eaten it all my life, in fact). but the failure of NY pizzerias to ever provide decent utensils for cutting said pizza gives one no choice. even the thin-crusted stuff is a bitch to cut with plastic knifes and forks.

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Monday, 29 September 2003 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the NY pizzerias' stance is that if you need a fork, you're a communist. You shouldn't need napkins either, apparently. Fucking napkin Nazis.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 29 September 2003 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

That said, the best NY pizza is from the no-fork-having napkin Nazis. And preferaby they speak very little English. That's when you know you're eating pizza.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 29 September 2003 05:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Well just adding my 2c here, but Southern Italin pizza from, say, Naples (where it was supposedly invented)is pretty thick crusted and generally comes with a lot of toppings (rucola on top being the uber-classic).. I generally start with the ustencils before getting my hands on it when, it's reached a more manageable size.

― Fabrice (Fabfunk), Monday, 29 September 2003 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank you, Fabrice. This is the ammunition I need to prove Andrew's WRONGNESS.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 September 2003 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Duh uh - chopsticks of course.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 29 September 2003 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

The one time I ate at a Pizza restaurant in Italy (Florence, to be exact) I was given a knife and fork, and quite right too

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Monday, 29 September 2003 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I've eaten it both ways - it just depends on what kind it is

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 29 September 2003 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Here we go with the Pineapple Pizza again.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 29 September 2003 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I put the pizza in a tortilla and eat it like a burrito.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 29 September 2003 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

for god's sake you're supposed to eat it with knives and forks, not like animals. then again, in italy, pizzas are not the size of a small back garden and covered in all manner of unspeakable shit like they are in the US...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 29 September 2003 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Cut into slices with knife, eat with fingers. Anythign else is pizza heresy.

If it's so hot you can't hold it in your hands, surely it's a bad idea to be putting it into your mouth?

― cis (cis), Monday, 29 September 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"...then again, in italy, pizzas are not the size of a small back garden and covered in all manner of unspeakable shit like they are in the US..."
Well, thats the only way you can ~~trick~~ get an American to eat his veggies, like he's supposed to.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Monday, 29 September 2003 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

If I can pick a slice up and it maintains its shape -- fingers.

If it's all droopy and slidey, only then will I submit to the knife and fork.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 29 September 2003 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

oh geez, there's nothing wrong with eating pizza with a knife and fork.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 29 September 2003 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

how many people roll up the pizza?

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 29 September 2003 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

and smoke it? You get a wicked buzz.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 29 September 2003 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Hilarity ensued the first time I came to Britain and my friend Mark used cutlery on his pizza.

In Minnesota, all pizza is finger food, even deep dish. The restaurants demonstrate this by pre-slicing your pie into little patchwork squares.

I have found a happy medium in that I cut mine in quarters then take each quarter in hand and eat using the New York fold'n'feed method.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 29 September 2003 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Ain't nuthin' like a pepperoni spliff.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Monday, 29 September 2003 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

pack it up
with 'roni & feta
shove it in
it gets you bein' betta

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 29 September 2003 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Stelfox and Suzy OTM, everyone else mentalist. There is only one moment when it is *ever* appropriate to eat pizza with your hands, and that is when watching football (or baseball or whatever it is you heathens are into these days).

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 29 September 2003 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

That said, I once ate a burger with a knife and fork (but then again that was when I'd just been to the orthodontists and the very thought of biting into anything was torture).

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 29 September 2003 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Pizza should not be eaten sitting down, let alone with cutlery.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Monday, 29 September 2003 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't even realize that pizza COULD be eaten with a knife and fork until this thread

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 29 September 2003 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

bobbing for pizza

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

According to the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana:

"Neapolitan pizza is the original and classical form of pizza. Other forms of pizza such as Chicago, New York, deep-dish etc. are adaptations, derivations and extensions of the original form. They may be delicious and they are definitely a variety of pizza, but they are not authentic Neapolitan pizza (verace pizza napoletana)."

The association takes no position on how pizza should be eaten. They also don't say anything about pineapple on pizza, but I expect they would regard it as an abomination.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay! I'm an apostate!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Your punishment in Hell will be to live forever in a pizzaria where you have an endless tab, BUT THEY SERVE ONLY NEOPOLITAN PIZZA. MUAHAH.

― Sir Leee (Leee), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Other forms of pizza such as Chicago, New York, deep-dish

Yo, what's the difference b/w Chicago and deep dish? Sounds at most to be a sub-variety of one or the other.

― Sir Leee (Leee), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Leee, that just means I fold it over some and I'm still happy. Bring on that kind of hell!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Aww nuts...

...can I come too?

― Sir Leee (Leee), Monday, 29 September 2003 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, you be cruisin' for a bruisin'.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 29 September 2003 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel the pizza hate, and yet I transcend your petty concerns. I am one with the proper pie and when I come back I will bring myself.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

The proper way to eat pizza delivered to my house:

1) put box onto coffee table where everyone has congregated to watch baseball/football/the Opera
2) everyone is given paper towels. PLATES ARE CONTRABAND FOR THIS ACTIVITY
3) everyone takes a slice immediately, piping hot
4) pizza can be folded or not, but must be shoved into mouth immediately
5) cheese gets everywhere and everyone gets horrified "OH GOD THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH!!!" look on their face, but due to lack of plates and/or proper sized table, everyone is forced to continue to shovel piping hot demon cheese torture into their mouths.

Any other method is madness, wtf.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 00:06 (twenty-one years ago)

(subsequent slices, being cooled off by that point, are eaten in a more sensible yet still fork/plateless manner, but it really doesn't matter as you've got no skin left on the roof of your mouth anyway by now)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I find it curious how pizza styles are described by y'all americans as things like "new york" and "chicago" style instead of just "deep dish" or "thin" or whatever. I dont even think of pizzas that way anyhow - thats what Pizza Hut do AND THEY DONT MAKE PIZZAS.

Give me a good quality, wood-fired thinbase pizza from Pizza Napoli in Russell st (fresh tomato cheese & herbs... mmmm) or a lovely woodfired garlic pizza from Blue Train... or I'm not interested at all. Pizza Hut are the work of satan. Who doesn't cook very good pizzas in hell.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Pizza Hut = the best fast food pizza chain by far

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

They also don't say anything about pineapple on pizza, but I expect they would regard it as an abomination.
It's only an abomination if there's not canadian bacon on the pizza. If you ever had a canadian bacon/pineapple/extra mozzerlla pizza, you'd understand how wonderfully delicious it is.
It may sound like a weird combo, but it works.
The same way a really well made Rueben sandwich works it's culinary and gustatory magic despite the individual ingredients being foul.

That said, anyone who puts M&Ms or Reece's Pieces on a pizza is performing a heretical atrocity against all sentient life, and must be hunted down and destroyed. NO M&M's ON PIZZA!

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Pizza Hut = the best fast food pizza chain by far
Bah! Papa Johns > Pizza Hut > Dominoes
and Pizza Hut only defeats Dominoes because of their Salad Bar.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just going to ignore the pineapple/canadian "bacon" contingent of this conversation.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't knock it till you try it.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I've tried it. It's a crime against pineapple, which is a delightful food.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

ALLY IS OTM (wrt pizza eating procedure and pineapple/canadian bacon).

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Anything else is treason.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like half of ILX was raised in an asylum, an asylum where pizza eating was uncommon and therefore putting weird random bullshit on your pizza, which you eat with a FORK, is totally normal.

I mean, I guess I can kind of see eating deep dish pizza with a fork, but that's probably why I never ate deep dish pizza til like two days ago. Fuck forks. I prefer to eat as little as possible that requires forks, which is why my diet is almost entirely power bars, sandwiches, and spaghetti. HANDS ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR BARBARIANS WHY DO Y'ALL GOTTA GET ALL FANCY ASS ON EVERYONE.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

You eat spaghetti without a fork?

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you let it get cold in the strainer and then eat handfuls by the gobful?

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

And if so can I hire you for my personal chef?

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

You say that like it's a bad thing!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned! Careful with your x-posts!

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

You say that like it's...wait.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned and I truly need to go get pizza. except I hate thick crust. but I love pineapple. which = I am a pervert

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I love you, sweet pervert. We'll find the balance.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I just shove my face in the bowl of spaghetti with my hands tied behind my back, actually.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess if it's good enough for Lady and the Tramp...

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

So what is the feeling on dipping your pizza into some sort of sauce (say Ranch)?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

In the name of all that is holy, I beg you to stop all this heresy. Pineapple? M&Ms?? What next, tuna?
oh and on a side-note, anchovies: c or d? I say DUD, but then again I've only had them once, when I was 7, so they may be due for reappraisal.

― Fabrice (Fabfunk), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I like anchovies. On pizza and in ceasar salad, as should be. But I am usually roundly beaten up for this preference.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 06:53 (twenty-one years ago)

forks are for mentalists

use a spoon

― geeta (geeta), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 08:13 (twenty-one years ago)

what else apart from a fork would you use to eat spaghetti? i am concerned..........

a knife?

a ladle?>

― ambrose (ambrose), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

canadian bacon is a crime against bacon.
as is american bacon.
you are all headcases.
myself, suzy and matt are the only people upholding the decency of ilx (as usual).
before anyone else says anything, yes, i am a pizza fascist and proud.
also why do you LUNATICS call it a pie? it is not. a pie needs to be made out of pastry and have a lid (unless it is a potato-topped pie, which is not a real pie, but acceptable nonetheless).
i reiterate: pie = pastry lid; tart = pastry bottom, sans lid; pizza (which is actually a type of bread) = PIZZA and should never have pineapple within 6 feet of it!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 12:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I know I've horrified folks in the AIM chats with this before (back when I had a home internet connection and a computer that would turn on), but the joys of Ian's Pizza: pineapple & barbeque chicken pizza, artichoke heart pizza, macaroni & cheese pizza, penne pasta pizza, gnutella & coconut dessert pizza, potato pizza, steak and fries pizza...MMMMMM.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

penne pasta pizza??? chocolate and coconut pizza?
PLEASE DELETE THE ABOVE POST BEFORE I RUN AMOK!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I eat pizza by means of an elaborate device called a "hydro pizzapult" which operates on a hydro-electrical system of pullies and levers and buckets filling with water and rising and dropping and begins by placing the slice on the pizzapult and ends with me pulling a lever and launching the slice from it's perch across the room at 200 feet per second directly into my mouth. WTF you guys are like all still living in the dark ages or something.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I would love to live in the dark ages.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i live in the mark ages

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

What is a coconut and chocolate pizza and why do you not just call it a TART like normal people? Look, that is not pizza. Nor is putting some steak and fries on a bit of dough and slathering it with mozarella pizza. It has to have a big round bit of dough, tomato and cheese (and I won't accept BBQ sauce as a substitute). That - and ONLY THAT - is pizza.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

OH MY GOD I SOUND LIKE GEIR!!!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Matt DC is the Geir of pizza.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

buncha pizzaists.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

real pizza relies on a complex harmony of mozzarella and tomato

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

what is the pizza equivalent of rhythm?

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Macaroni & cheese pizza?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! That's IT, I'm slitting my fucking wrists. My faith in mankind has just been completely and totally obliterated.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

We have indeed reached the end of times if a macaroni & cheese pizza really exists.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.iansdelivery.com/Menu.htm

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it truly a mac & cheese pizza, or do they just have mac & cheese on their menu? If the case is the former, the also serve a salad pizza, which is the most disturbing food-related thought I've ever had that didn't involve the food eating me.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

it is truly, truly a mac & cheese pizza.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

what is the pizza equivalent of rhythm?

dough - an over-reliance on it is wrong

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

pizza equiv of free zarjazz hair

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

BLACK BEAN, FETA AND AVOCADO PIZZA?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!?!!!!!?!?!?!?!??!!??!"!$?!$h GIHOBQFOHBREQBH OKASHG

SORRY MY HEAD JUST EXPLODED GOD.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

The gourmet pizza place next to Veerasmamy off Piccadilly does a full English breakfast 'pizza' - you get it with two eggs, sausage, bacon, tomato, bits of fried potato and black fucking pudding on top. It is one of the sickliest things I have ever consumed.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

*cries*

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

for ally the terrorists have already won

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

what is the non-french word for "gourmet"?

(we have totally been here before btw, i linked to excellent some japanese pizza web-page)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

also what is the italian for "black pudding" and "full english breakfast" (that wz a semi-full at best matt, unless in yr enjoyment you forgot the baked beans and fried bread)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

what is the non-french word for "gourmet"?

'Poncey'

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Well anyway, the only truly proper way to eat a pizza is to put it in a blender and smoothie-ize it.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I cackle at what it takes to make people lose their shit on this thread (I'm still right about everything, of course).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I have just been there to check and they've dropped the English Brekky pizza from the menu, replacing it with something called the Oriental which features hoi-sin and plum sauce, shredded crispy duck, coriander and ginger, possibly with a thin pancake base as well. Pizza my arse.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, your bravado will not save your mortal soul.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, the day you are right about your pineapple on pizza fetish is the day that breasts shoot out of my ass.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

here we go!!

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

haha the NORDIC!!

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

THE SQUID INK PIZZA!

http://www.chachich.com/mdchachi/images/ikasumi.jpg

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

The Japanese are completely insane, I mean it's awesome and all but I'm really not surprised by what they put on pizza. I'm shocked it's not about 400 times worse, like taro and honeydew bubble tea pizza or something.

Their pizzas sound better than half of the bullshit that other menu had on it! Macaroni and cheese! AVOCADO AND BEANS??? Not even the Japanese would do that.

xpost, I think I just changed my mind about this entire post, that is the most revolting looking thing in history.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

mark, categorically NONE of those are pizzas.
and by far the one that cincerned me most was the one with mayonnaise - IT SHOULD AT LEAST BE BLOODY SALAD CREAM!!!
have also come to alarming realization. apart from methods of consumption, i am agreeing with ally. the natural order of the world is shot to pieces and that japanese pizza page is concrete proof!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

SQUID INK - BLEARGHHHH!!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I just want to know when "Sea Goodness and Mayonnaise" became the "Ideal Taste" for pizza. I think everyone who eats nonsense like this should be jailed. Immediately.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

ally i love you!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I once had a PROPER Italian pizza with shredded horse and rocket on it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"A miraculous harmony of teryaki chicken and mayonnaise"=I wish I was dead. Even without the concept of sticking a pizza underneath this, the idea of teryaki chicken paired with mayo is disgusting! Why would you put this on a pizza? It's like, do you think it makes you clever and hard to eat such a horrible thing? Like it's a feat of strength? Well, it's neither big nor clever!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost--Dave, I promise I won't force you to eat pizza in my fashion. Matt DC, rocket?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

it's the sort of thing that should feature on endurance. i find it hard to believe that eating this filth would be done for pleasure. this must be stopped.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

rocket = arugula

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd be a lot more impressed if it had shrapnel all over it or something, which is what I was just imaginging.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

No mention of curry pizza (another Japanese culinary chimara)?

And rocket I understood, but horse?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, your bravado will not save your mortal soul.

My immortal soul, however, thrives.

Ned, the day you are right about your pineapple on pizza fetish is the day that breasts shoot out of my ass.

That is the cheapest excuse I have EVER heard for wanting to wear a bra on your pert buttocks.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

squid ink is a perfectly kosher italian ingredient btw, it's the colouring for pasta negra (or whatever it's called)

most of the suggestions in the following are exactly the right size and consistency and taste for inventive pizza toppings (esp.as they all taste of either prawns or egg):

http://www.splendidtable.org/books/images/bugs_lrg.jpg

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd be a lot more impressed if it had shrapnel all over it or something, which is what I was just imaginging.

nah, the french call it rocquette. anyway, exploding food, not good - gets me thinking about clowns, pies etc and we all know here that ends up so best to stop here.
however i wouldn't even advise anyone "putting their ass in" one of those japanese pizzas.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

squid ink is a perfectly kosher

maybe not the best adjective to use there, mark.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

If I'm eating greek pizza or any other type of pizza that has loads of topping and eats more like an entree, I use a knife and fork. Or if it's one of those huge pizza slices that you can't really hold with one hand...

If I'm eating takeout, I generally go for a slice with my own bare hands.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

why do you LUNATICS call it a pie?
Two reasons, one serious and one comical:
1) Some versions of italian-style pizza are more like a round stromboli (ie, it does have a pizza crust "top layer" over the filling)
2) Its cut into slices kinda like a pie.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

pizza does definetely tastes better if you don't use forks and knives. you only use'em for cutting it but then you gotta use hands for picking up slices and eat. it just tastes better.

― francesco, Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

That Japanese pizza page just made me lose my appetite. Holy vomitorium.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

is squid not kosher? if so, at least one good reason to convert to judaism immediately - you will be spared ever being able to eat squid ink pizza

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I never had a pizza 'til I was 14.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree, Jeanne. That was some very unflattering photography.
What I'm wondering about: What do the Japanese make the crust out of?
Is it some kinda of Rice flour crust?

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Squid is not kosher. Google says:

'Fish
If a fish has fins and scales, it is considered Kosher. Carp, trout, salmon, herring, halibut, flounder, whitefish, and tuna are some species that are Kosher. Shark, catfish, eel, squid and all the strangely shaped fish that don't have fins and scales are non-Kosher. All shellfish are non-Kosher.'

"strangley shaped"

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a pizza in Italy that had a raw egg in the center (I guess the white had cooked, but the yolk was liquid). It was called the Vesuvius because the yolk looked like the crater of the volcano. This was in Venice, however, so maybe it doesn't count.

― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It wasn't called the Vesuvius because the hapless customer who accidentally ordered it would instantly erupt in a fountain of puke upon seeing it?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Custos - don't be ludicrous, you don't cut pies into slices, you eat them out of plastic wrappers and foil tins on freezing cold terraces in December.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

It was actually the best pizza I had in Italy, which says more about the places I tried than about that particular creation. It didn't need the egg at all, but the rest was good.

― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Custos - don't be ludicrous, you don't cut pies into slices, you eat them out of plastic wrappers and foil tins on freezing cold terraces in December.
Hahahahahaha!

Subthread... Frozen Pizza, Search and Destroy!?

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Although I hate pineapple on pizza, its interesting that some people in this thread were horrified by the pineapple+canadian bacon thing, because in Aus, the ham n' pineapple pizza is (totally sadly) a staple of pizzadom. That, and the BBQ chicken and pineapple. Blech.

Lord Cust: theres NO SUCH THING as a good frozen pizza, and if anyone ever finds me one, I'll be thinkin' it really is the end times.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

pineapple on pizza is an abomination, a stench in the nostrils of the Gods of Pizza. for shame, all ye of fucked-up taste buds.

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry i'm late to the japanese pizza thread:

which of the following should i order one of the following pizzas? bonito/mayonaisse, potato/curry/mayonaisse, corn dog PIZZA with peanut/cabbage sauce (i swear to god i:m not making any of this up) or the very appealing "butcher king" special which quite frankly looks like an amalgamation of assorted meatfoods and my travelling companion prposed the question "what butcher?" for someone to answer, and i:m certainly not in the state of mind to provide the answer to that. good night! oyasumi!

ps+ the corndog catch copy can be translated as "good old but new taste!" fuck, gimme some holds or some steals. A LOT OF BEEF FULL MENU!

-- gygax! (gygax0...), April 25th, 2003

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

macaroni and cheese pizza should be punishable by law

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

1. What is bloody salad cream?

2. Is seafood acceptable on pizza?

3. Are 'white pizzas' really pizzas?

4. Is a taco pizza an abomination?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

White pizza is a deliciousination!

OK, that was awful, shoot me now please.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 05:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I am lacking rubber bands at the moment, Chris. And since I am neither a shooter nor a dribbler, well, I am sorry not to be able to meet your request.

(I'm kinda fond of the Papa John's 'Spinach Alfredo' thing, myself.)

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 06:00 (twenty-one years ago)

1. What is bloody salad cream?
Isn't this what Miracle Whip is (kind of like mayo but not quite)?

2. Is seafood acceptable on pizza?
Absolutely - anchovies, shrimp, clams.

3. Are 'white pizzas' really pizzas?
Yes, don't be enslaved by the tyranny of the tomato.

4. Is a taco pizza an abomination?
It can be OK (but never good), but the one shown above covered with lettuce is an abomination.

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 06:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I ate pizza last night with a knife & fork!! shock horror! I was in a pub that sells the best pizza. I use the demon utensils so that I can pile some salad onto the pizza before stuffing it my mouth! ahhh bliss!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 07:13 (twenty-one years ago)

See rule 4, Pink.

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 07:14 (twenty-one years ago)

B-b-but what's rule 4?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

4. Is a taco pizza an abomination?
It can be OK (but never good), but the one shown above covered with lettuce is an abomination.

I'm assuming the salad you put on your pizza was lettuce-based.

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, but I mean I had a margherita pizza with a side salad. So it's not on the pizza as such, but eaten together....oh nevermind!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 07:36 (twenty-one years ago)

1. What is bloody salad cream?

Axle grease mixed with white paint. An essential ingredient of British salads.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 08:21 (twenty-one years ago)

this is the longest thread i have ever started since i joined ilx!

― dog latin, Wednesday, 1 October 2003 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a pizza in Italy that had a raw egg in the center (I guess the white had cooked, but the yolk was liquid)

This is a very very long way from a raw egg! Eggs on pizzas are not very odd and I'm pretty sure it's an 'authentic' Italian thing. I just can't remember the name of the pizza concerned. It often has spinach with it. When I've had it the white has been pretty runny too.

I wish I'd kept the leaflet of the Walthamstow pizza delivery company that only did them with indian food on top. Oh no, hang on - there was a small section of 'classic' pizzas that were non currified. You got free samosas if you ordered over £15 worth, or something.

Tangent: having experimented with all sorts of pizza cutting devices, the one I have settled on is a pair good old fashioned kitchen scissors. Everyone always stares and says "Wow, I've never seen anyone do that before". I find it odd that no one else seems to have thought of it. I only really eat rockist pizzas with thin floury bases and sparse toppings though. I guess it might not work so well with a deep pan sweetcorn, ham, pineapple and extra cheese monstrosity.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

curried pizza is fucking satanic.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

My family got served a pizza with an egg on it in Yugoslavia, which is pretty close to Italy. We didn't eat it.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it was the heat of the cooked pizza that (partially) cooked the egg white, they didn't fry it before putting it on top I don't think.

Probably the best cutter would be those long curved blades with handles at both ends so that no sliding of a knife blade or wheel messes up the topping. I imagine these are pretty expensive so I use an ordinary knife.

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Slices of hard-boiled egg on pizza is awesome.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

canned pizza is the shnitz pickles

― half jack, Wednesday, 1 October 2003 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i once employed the above mentioned scissors technique to cut a pizza and the whole room went blank

― half jack, Wednesday, 1 October 2003 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

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