chili crisis!!!

Also I guess when the beef goes in it will suck up some of the hot stuff?

I just added 4 cherry tomatoes but I fear it is akin to surfing with a toothpick.

Nick I've put in zee juice, of one half of one lemon.

Serve it with fruit on the side. Seriously, a good fruit salad- pineapple, mandarin oranges, grapes, grapefruit, apples, bananas, and a little fresh lemon on it.

Sucka that is excellent advice and luckily I have a classic apple/walnut/blue cheese/lettuce thing goin on, so I am limiting the damage somewhat.

my recipe btw is:

dump:
two cans red kidney beans (drained)
two cans peeled tomatoes

into a pot and turn on low. add:

salt
a bunch of cumin
a bunch of cayenne pepper
whatever other hotness you want (chopped chilis, tabasco, exotic yuppie sauces, etc)

sautée
a couple cloves of garlic
a couple of bell peppers
an onion or two

and stir those in. from here it gets creative. wine? beer? coriander? beef? (drained of fat)

simmer for like two hours, and keep stirring that shit because even if you've got a creuset the sugar in the tomatoes is going to make it burn and stick to the bottom. of course if you're my old friend mike warren you like the "burned" flava

top w/faves: sour cream, chives, cheese, diced tomatoes, microtendrils

Are these from the Space Alien aisle of the grocery?

I think my SPICE BALANCING is off - or my spices are off, or... I have no idea. Coconut milk/BLOCK generally makes a curry mean tho, I agree with you Trayce.

OMG I just remembered my garam masala is over TWO YEARS OLD.

I should buy some more!!!

i was going to make this joke.

no more tomatoes, unfortunately, JBR :( that's what led to my ill-fated tomato run in the first place

xpost: do eet! DO EEET!!!! (said in isabella rosselli voice)

Also

*waits patiently* And look, it's the UK, if they're not used to spicy as hell curries over there, then it's their fault.

You. Me. Manchester's Curry Mile. I'm waiting, Raggett.

short answer: no. long answer: truly kick-ass chili is a little trickier, but if you already have a good sense of what flavors go together, it shouldn't be too hard.

xxxpost

i'm gonna do it

the beans are about to be soaked

w00t

Food & Wine Mag., March 85

NEW MEXICAN CHILI

1/3 C corn oil
3 large onions, chopped
6 large garlic cloves, minced
5 T mild ground chiles, preferably New Mexican
1 tsp HOT ground chiles or Cayenne pepper (more for hotter)
2 T ground cumin
1 lb lean pork, ground
5 lb boneless beef chuck, trimmed of fat, cubed 1/2"-3/4"
2 tsp oregano
2 1/2 t salt
1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
28 oz Italian plum tomatoes, canned, with juice
24 oz good amber beer (New Amsterdam, Dos Equis)
13 oz beef broth
2 bay leaves
34 oz kidney beans

In a large flame-proof casserole or stockpot, heat the oil. Add the
onions. Cover and cook over moderate heat for 5 minutes. Uncover,
increase heat to moderately high and cook, stirring frequently, until
the onions begin to brown, 5 to 10 minutes.

Add the garlic and cook another 1 or 2 minutes, until fragrant. Add
the chiles and cumin. Cook, stirring, 1 minute then add the pork,
mashing and stirring, until the meat browns and begins to separate.

Add the beef, oregano, salt and pepper. Increase heat to high and
cook, stirring frequently, until the meat loses most of its redness,
about 10 - 15 minutes.

Add the tomatoes and their liquid, the beer, beef broth and bay
leaves. Bring to a boil, partially cover and reduce heat to
moderate. Cook until the beef is very tender and the sauce is
reduced to a chili-like consistency, about 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

In a medium saucepan, heat the beans in the liquid from the cans.
Drain when hot and either add to the chili or serve on the side along
with other accompaniments such as steamed rice, sour cream, grated
cheddar cheese, thinly sliced scallions, onions, or chips.

this is so OTM. you couldn't be any more OTM if you tried to be. anyone can make okay chili, but memorable chili is harder. i might have to copy your recipe down. whenever i try and wing it, i end up missing something.

http://static.flickr.com/27/62961733_2ede8fef9a.jpg

brooklyn brown ale was my beverage pairing

*burp*

Not secret. Changes every time I make, though.

Today:

Ingredients:
* 3-some pounds of pork shoulder steaks (with bone in)
* 3-4 yellow onions
* lots of garlic
* Family can of crushed toms (normally use diced, grabbed wrong one)
* Can of blacks beans
* Can of black-eyed peas
* Can of corn
* 4 jalapenos, diced

Chop up the onions and garlic and set aside in a bowl.

De-bone/de-fat the pork shoulder, and cut into .5-1" cubes.

In a skillet, brown the pork with a handful of the onions and garlic until ALMOST cooked on all sides (we don't need to REALLY cook it since it'll be in the pot all night). Turn off the heat and set aside.

In a pot, start the onions and garlic. Throw in the jalapenos. This is also when we should start with the spices (if we were REALLY serious, we would have dry-roasted the spices before adding oil/onions...we also would have roasted the chiles in the oven....we're not that serious, though). Spices: cumin, coriander are your base. Chili powder is for homos. Mustard seed is OK. A dash of cinnamon can be sexy.

Once the onions are soft, throw in the can of tomatoes. Open the can first. These can be really acidic, so we want to cook them as long as possible. If you're pressed for time, throw in a PINCH of baking soda; it's really basic (pH) and will neutralize the acid. Don't use too much, though, or else it'll taste funny. Crushed tomatoes will make your chili pasty, so fill up half a can of water and chuck it in. Diced will cook down further, so use more of them.

Throw in the meat/beans/corn. If you're using garbage like vegetables (carrots are good, celery too), you should have cooked them with the onions, btw.

Go to the store and buy a sixpack. Pour one into the chili and drink the rest.

Chuck in a tablespoon of UNSWEETENED cocoa powder.

Splash in some orange juice (TOP SECRET, PLZ).

Now, because we're using actual meat and not ground, we've got to make sure that the cubes pull apart. This means LOTS OF STIRRING. That's where that six-pack comes in. Loud music helps. Last night I used a mixture of Lightning Bolt, Will Oldham for sing alongs, and a purpose-made mixtape with golden hits from Son Volt, the Detroit Cobras, De La Soul, and the Kinks, among others.

Try to crush the individual chunks of meat against the side of the pot. It'll help.

Go outside and smoke a cigarette. When you come back inside, grind up some salt into this bitch. Black pepper, too.

Open a bottle of wine. Put on the Kronos Quartet.

Keep stirring until 1.20am. Turn the heat, lid it and go to bed.

Wake up!!! You're late! Double bag the chili in freezer bags, put the bags into a small pot, wrap the pot in saran wrap, put in your bag, and bike to work.

Win.

...

Profit!

(also: don't forget oregano and a TINY TINY drip drop of chipotle sauce...and add more salt/whatever to taste)

Are you talking about Alton Brown??? He annoys the everloving christ out of me. Jesus. JUST MAKE THE FOOD FOR FUCK'S SAKE. I bet I make a 10x better french onion soup than he does and I don't need to use chemistry sets and thermometers to do so. Gah. Alton Fucking Brown. Of course I watch him every night, to get irritated.

Oh and I don't bother with the chili mix thing anymore, because I have room to keep all the spices! I didn't have room to consistently keep all my spices that I "needed" in my Millennium apartment so I used the mix as a base and added to it what I had. But once I moved into a bigger place I got more spices! Cos I had room!

his recipes have come out really nicely when i've made them, and the only "chemistry" i used was a measuring cup. i've never used a cooking thermometer in my life, but i can imagine why a person would want to check the internal temperature of a big slab of meat.

i don't ever follow recipes to the letter though -- i just use them as a vague guideline of proportions, etc. after a while it becomes MY recipe as much as the originating cook's. so i feel weird saying that so-and-so's recipe "sucks" when i most likely haven't actually had it prepared by that cook.

i love cooking stuff that i can stop to taste along the way. i don't care what julia child says; if i think it needs more cumin, in it goes.

I really don't think I've ever properly followed a recipe in my entire life. I can write up stuff for people if they want to know about something I cooked but seriously I cannot be bothered to get the right ingredients for things or, like, actually measure spices.

xpost PSH DUDE WHATEVER I'LL MEET YOU THERE WITH MY TV BOYFRIEND, JIMMY FALLON

(Oh, I love the Myth Busters, too.)

(ahem xp)

How could I have been, it worked?! I can't remember where or when or how I learnt it, but I learnt it, and it works.

Ideas please.

hahaha tr being the least annoying food network celebrity isn't exactly a feat of strength. I mean his competition is people like that delaurentiis woman. I like him much better on Iron Chef than on his own show btw.

i'm gonna make some fuckin chili. so many different recipes though. I’ve made some before that came out really good but I have no idea what I put in it. I know I used beer , I got some of that, so it’s a start.

Try this?

get yr hands on some venison. also: one habanero or Scotch bonnet pepper (any more than that & you are insane). Quality (preferably at least some of them fresh) tomatoes, really are the key to awesome chili. Do right by that rule & the rest will work itself out.

and do not be conservative with onions. In fact, why not include several different kinds?

never thought of using venison but seeing as these recipes all call for lean cuts of meat it sounds ideal.

lol wtf your username is carne asada and you want to make chili with fancy meats

LOL true! what was i thinking?

Being from the midwest, I guess I never thought of venison as "fancy." Just practical.

has there ever been any consensus on ILX as regards acceptable vegetarian chili recipes that aren't basically some kinda bean salad served hot

a lot of dudes i work with just got back from hunting and they already said they would hook up it up. i have never cooked with venison before so i'm down.

i have a really good veggie chili recipe

just braggin'

My gf just made a good vegetarian chili yesterday, adapted from a Dave Lieberman recipe.

carne, if your friends are not picky about what they give you, try to get ahold of some loin or round steak & then cut it into cubes or strips. Ground venison is probably most common for chili, but, trust me, go with the steak if you can.

tom, consensus i don't know about, but:

http://www.elishasessions.com/pumpkin/content/reliable-chili

lamb chili is kickass fyi

i think i'll make a chili this week, but maybe a faggy vegetarian beany one with tofu or seitan.

ime chili is so awesome and filling that meat subtitutes are pretty unnecessary unless you LOVE SEITAN.

it's just a texture thing for me

jbr u should try using tempeh!

crumble the tempeh into a saucepan, almost cover it with water, and then simmer until it's all taken up. then use that stuff as fake ground beef

i do not like tempeh :-(

i'm not a vegetarian, i've just been eating a lot of meat lately and want more non-meat dishes!

Harry Potter and the... [Started by chap in December 2008, last updated 1 minute ago] 4 new answers [POLL closes: December 10]
chili crisis!!! [Started by Tracer Hand (tracerhand) in October 2003, last updated 7 minutes ago] 21 new answers

now we know what powers his broomstick

farts!!!!

XD

because of the beans

in the chili

which is spicy, similar to fire

hogfarts

This is a recipe for vegetarian chili that I have been working on for two decades: http://www.divshare.com/download/6038949-1e9 . It's the best thing I know how to cook.

I shared it with Abbott but I don't know if she's made it yet.

dude are you serious? a 1MB pdf?! that is gonna be good

It's 2 pages. I had to include some graphics to make it look all professional and shit.

I am absurdly proud of that recipe, tho. I always get requests to make it from friends & family who've had it before.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/12/dining/if-its-chili-its-personal.html?_r=0

'overseeing bodies of chili judgment'

i made a pretty good vegan chili the other night, WITH beans. fuck the haters.

Oh hai, I have a pot of red cooking right now. I'm out of pure chile powder but I had a bag of dried New Mexico chiles so I toasted 'em and ground 'em up, with cayenne and chipotle powder to round it out into a decent blend for chili.

I had homemade veggie chili for lunch

WITH beans. fuck the haters.

Beans are such an important part of chili, as is fresh lime juice.

someday i'll make a point of going to the synthesizer chili cook-off:
http://www.chicagoreader.com/Bleader/archives/2014/02/12/watch-the-synth-chili-cook-off-founders-play-a-synth-and-make-chili

SH-7 hot chili...

i guess i should xpost this from the other thread. . .

anyone have any advice re: making chili in the crockpot? i made the best chili i ever made on super bowl sunday (it was coincidental bc i did not watch the super bowl) by adapting this recipe and i want to do it again in the crockpot. i have a 3.3 lb chuck. just brown it first, drain it?

btw my adaptations were to add 2 cans of kidney beans against the recipe writer's advice, used regular ground beef, used paste i made from soaked dried anchos, added a can of beef broth, made tomato puree in the food processor, didn't have any masa harina

― sent from my butt (harbl), Thursday, February 13, 2014 9:48 AM (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i had never really used a recipe for chili. and i put too many vegetables in it before. i love beef.

~~~chili crisis in infinite bowls~~~

I keep making variations of this pork chili w/chocolate stout, chipotles (in adobo or just rehydrated dried peppers), black and kidney beans, red onion, and occasionally some diced red pepper

I think chili traditionalists probably would burn me at the stake, though.

maybe i'll add a chipotle to my paste

i've had my share of terrible everything-in-the-kitchen chilis for sure but there are few things more annoying than chili purists going "NO BEANS" eeahhghhhhhh no fuck you

that said i do feel like simplicity in ingredients, apart from your spice base of the chili, is a good thing. spice base + beans is good, spice base + beans and corn and potatoes and peppers and squash etc maybe not so good.

beans are regional in chili imo, I feel sorry for beany chili advocates being hunted in the streets in texas or wherever

it's good to stretch it out and make it more of a complete lunch

Non-alphanumeric characters: ~!@#$%^&*_-+=`|\()}{[]:;"'<>,.?/

chili must include at least one capital letter, at least one number, and at least one non-alphanumeric character

Chili must be placed on one's nipples in the event of a "hot nip drill"

im making chili today iirc

look around you, is there some meat there, that would be a sign to job yr memory

do you have hot nips

I made this one tonight: http://www.nytimes.com/recipes/1016036/just-good-chili.html. Has anyone else tried it? Usually I ignore directions to add sweet stuff (such as 1/4 cup brown sugar) but I felt like following the recipe religiously to see what it was supposed to be like. It was both sweet and hot at the same time. Not my favorite, but interesting.

i really really want to make the other chilis from the article

I keep making variations of this pork chili w/chocolate stout, chipotles (in adobo or just rehydrated dried peppers), black and kidney beans, red onion, and occasionally some diced red pepper

I think chili traditionalists probably would burn me at the stake, though

this sounds great. flavor >>> tradition

i really really want to make the other chilis from the article

― call all destroyer, Thursday, February 13, 2014 10:37 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

me too

the picture of "just good chili" looks gross tbh

my crockpot chili was pretty successful. i'll try those nyt ones too.

chili purists will blanche at the one i made last night but it was pretty tight

http://www.finecooking.com/recipes/spicy-chicken-white-bean-chili.aspx

just good chili sounds a little sad. like "how was the chili" "eh, it was just good, not great"

good news! add shredded chease to teh chilil for delight of the mowth!

k got the bowl of red from that nyt piece simmering right now. seemed like an excellent idea for a boring snowstorm night.

tropicana pure premeiusm owrnamd g e udiej just 3 dolals earch.,.

I just did a search for "chili cook-off" in the subject line of my work email account and I got 21 messages

I should do a FOIA request for all official correspondence concerning "chili cook-off"

i only got 3

I went to the trouble of buying gloves for dealing with the hot peppers, and they've worked pretty great.

Today, I skipped 'em, and while there have been some minor regrets, I can get a capsaicin high anytime I want just by licking my thumb, and my hands are just kind of tingly all over now

I love that moment when one of your eyes itches slightly and you realise too late the burning pain-load has already been delivered and you've totally fucked up the job. Mind you, even gloves wouldn't always prevent that.

Just learn to deseed without touching (stem, quarter lengthwise, remove seeds). Pretty easy with a sharp chef's knife.

Of course, now I have to buy capsaicin-laced warming lubricant.

I can, with patience, cut out the seeds and flesh without much handling, but I'm usually out of patience before I even get to the peppers

also, you want at least some of those seeds maybe

If I'm making chili for people who like spicy food, I leave them in.

I usually just make chilli bland (sans seeds), then add cayenne (or better, sambal oelek) to bring it up to "warm" for others, and a bunch more in my personal bowl. Hot pepper seeds add rather little flavor.

When I toured the Chili Pepper Institute at NMSU a few years ago, the director made sure we knew that the capsaicin sacs are on the inner membrane/placenta, not the seeds.

i would like to study at the chili pepper institute, do they offer scholarships?

I recommend cleaning your hands with a dollop of mayo

Ian -- maybe?
http://aces.nmsu.edu/academics/pes/
https://cpi.nmsu.edu/

The teaching garden was f'in cool. https://cpi.nmsu.edu/programs/chile-pepper-institute-garden-tour/

WilliamC coming through with the edificational materials!!!

This morning when I had to put my contacts in I made possibly the most pathetic involuntary grunt of pain that I've made in a long time. I think the stuff has finally worn off though. Now my left thumb just smells slightly of onion and that's it.