The thread for mildly off-putting compliments

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You have a sweet mouth, boy.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Daaaaamn, girl!

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"You have definitely got a lot of booooot-tay."

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Your hair is really really black like oil.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

You're really...different.

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

You're so much nicer than other guys! Are you sure you're not gay?

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I just meant you looked like a junkie

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:05 (twenty-two years ago)

That last one doesn't count and should be stricken from record immediately.

― ALlyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

You've heard of heroin chic?

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:07 (twenty-two years ago)

That went out of style years ago, it is officially stricken. Sorry. Try again!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:08 (twenty-two years ago)

this is so much better than jacking off into raw liver

(oh you said *mildly* sorry my mistake)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:10 (twenty-two years ago)

how do i look?

very good - i must say i'm amazed.

....

― jed (jed_e_3), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

That went out of style years ago, it is officially stricken. Sorry. Try again

[yawns]

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

After singing a solo at a gig in college, one of my (black) colleagues was told by a middle-aged woman "You have the most amazing voice! You sound just like Aaron Neville!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Man, lady, your hips are great for child-breeding.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I heard something along those lines too once. "Child-rearing hips" was I believe the exact terms. Boys: do they ever come up with something intelligent to say about ass?

― allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Or possibly just breeding. I can't remember precisely the content (it may even have been "your hips are great for birthing children", but my mate told that to his girlfriend on like the second date. They're engaged now, make of it what you will.
(Xpost Ally sorry.)

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I had something intelligent to say about ass once, but fucking Mystikal went and ripped me off.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Would it be better if guys stopped trying to get fancy and just said, "Hey, I really like your ass"?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I do that all the time, but then again I never really tried to get fancy. At this point, I request that Dan Perry shows me exactly how I should go about getting fancy.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

John Keats' hitherto unknown "Ode to an Ass," not being discovered anytime soon.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

It just struck me that three minutes ago I was a lurker, and now I'm having a conversation about ass with Ned, Dan, and Ally. WTF, isn't there some sort of ILX middle ground here?

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"Your ass speaks to me like a shining beacon guiding a storm-toss'd fishing boat to safe harbor" = possibly the most poetic way to ask for anal sex imaginable

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

considering the type of ass i fancy i don't think any sort of comment on it is likely to go down well

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Welcome former lurker deathisahedgehog! ONE OF US. Scary, isn't it?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Dammit, Perry, let me write that shit down. You're the guiding light in the raging sea of macking properly. The Keats of liking big butts and not being able to lie.
And Ned, it would frighten me, but I have seen you photoshopped before, and thus am incapable of knowing ILX fear.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so sorry, this is all my fault.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, blame not yourself, blame the inherent wickedness of ass. Were it not for the diabolic properties inherent to booty, I would still be a lowly lurker, content with reading other people speaking of how much music they own and complaining about how this messageboard is inferior to the previous version of said messageboard. And kittens.
Ass is of the devil, and ILX.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I own no music, just a lot of ass.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Another realization: previous message may be interpreted as vaguely offensive. Rest assured it isn't. I love all of y'all, for real, yo. Also maybe I need to stop posting now.

Xpost Ally again oh no! And Ally: do not lie. You own at least ONE copy of...that one Jarvis Cocker collaboration I saw you talking about once. I was just reading that thread, god damn it.
(Lurking + vodka + threads about ass = OH NO CREEPY CREEPY DISASTER OH NO)

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"CREEPY CREEPY DISASTER" is also going on a t-shirt.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

OK fair enough, I own that Barry Adamson CD and also I own a Klaus Nomi CD but no others.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:50 (twenty-two years ago)

[snorts, starts, flutters eyelids; then back on the nod]

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Should I change my name to CREEPY CREEPY DISASTER? You may all vote now!

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, I'll accept that answer. Also plz tell me the exact name of the Adamson/Cocker collab because I can't remember it presently and I rilly wanna use SoulSeek for something useful right now.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, I get ass compliments (asspliments?) a lot, especially when I have this tight PVC miniskirt on. And I don't really have a non-existent arse. Its not all that offputting having someone saying "nice arse" to me, as long as they know me that is. I have one friend who insists on going the grab if I'm ever in said PVC. He gets away with it... just.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Asspliment replaces compliment in my vocabulary henceforth.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Not to be confused with assplement. Trust me.

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:57 (twenty-two years ago)

It is called "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Pelvis" and is possibly the greatest song of all time. So great that you do not have to SoulSeek it since it is the only MP3 on my webserver.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Assplement? WTF that sounds like some kind of weird kitchen appliance! "Microwave it for fifteen minutes, then use your assplement to pry open the package."
Also: Should I go to bed and sleep or post my SN and invite suckahs to IM me because I'm bored and doing nothing xept reading newspapers and refreshing this ILX thread to see how many people want to talk to me about ass?
I think the previous option might be slightly less pathetic.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

thank you Ally!

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

No problem; you've made me want to listen to it!

― allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Exactly. Sexual harrassment = when asspliments cross over into assplements.

And thanks also, Ally; Ann made me a copy, and it'everything you say.

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

and to think only minutes ago you were denying owning any sort of music whatsoever!
(i am listening to it right now and it does rock, i hope there's an album of this shit in the near future. it doesn't even have to have barry adamson on it, just jarvis talking about his pelvis* and I will be happy.) (*this may be every pulp album ever.)

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:05 (twenty-two years ago)

and netumsahlem you have just made the best definition of sexual harrassment ever!

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Speaking of off-putting compliments: "Save me from my own hand" might not be strictly a compliment but it's certainly an off putting come on.

haha xpost deathisahedgehog, Jarvis talking about his pelvis is like 90% of His 'n' Hers

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

His'nHers is like the only Pulp album I don't own! Except the boring ones they made in the 80's and shit when they were like unPulpy and all about angularism and midgets. Or have I gotten them mixed up again?
But dude, I am so downloading that album now! Or maybe my housemate owns it.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Download "Razzmatazz", "Babies", "She's a Lady" and "Pink Glove" first, they are awesome. And yeah, angularism and midgets is about right except not as good as that promises :(

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

ally gets the lurker vote for most helpfullest ILX0r! they're all being downloaded right now except "she's a lady" which slsk won't search for alas poor hedgehog!
(i'm thinking we probably DO own this album, but I don't care and also finding it would involve waking my housemate the poor bastard and I should let him sleep.)

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I think "most helpful ILXor" is kind of an off compliment, no??

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, if you wanna get off the derailing track, it kind of would be. But it was meant in earnest! (like, if I said "child-rearing hips" to some chick I would so MEAN it, and that would make it better, no? Does sincerity aid an off-putting compliment or further its, uh, off-putting qualities?) And seriously "Razzamatazz" is fucking great so you were being helpful regardless of your ILX0rdom.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:18 (twenty-two years ago)

speaking of jarvis, does anyone have this yet?

http://www.roughtraderecords.com/rt131.html

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Your skin does not disgust me.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

It's ok, I was just teasing you. Just don't tell me I have childrearing hips.

esoj, that CD is terrifying.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Electric Sound of Jim: Not yet but I SO WILL, soon.
(Xpost Ally: I will never tell you you have childrearing hips, promise. also terrifying in which manner?)

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Which is why you want to listen to it, Ally.

Sorry, was finishing up a (very good) book and missed the turn of this thread. And Ally is a most help ILXor, yus!

And Ned, it would frighten me, but I have seen you photoshopped before, and thus am incapable of knowing ILX fear.

Oh good, you've been inoculated.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

You're very curvacious.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, this is good!

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

It is terrifying to see Jarvis looking like that. He was such a handsome man once.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

And now he is what he always was at heart.

GOTH!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

and how creepy is it that i didn't even look at the name properly and just went with ally going "esoj" and was like, "oh, electric sound of jim"? I FURKING KNOW YOU PEOPLE's NAMES BY HEART SORT OF EVEN THO WE HAVE NEVER EVER COMMUNICATED IN ANY SORT OF WAY EVER! jaysus christ i seriously realized how fucking creepy it is to read ILX but never post and how I should go back to just lurking and never posting ever again, or just abandoing it entirely.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

aren't we all, Ned, aren't we all. at heart.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

No, stay. We have infiltrated your mind, the least you can do is stay here and KICK MIGHTY ARSE.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:29 (twenty-two years ago)

deathisahedgehog, please do not go back to being a lurker. You have a compellingly pungent aura.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Whose "MIGHTY ARSE" would that be, Mister Ned?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:30 (twenty-two years ago)

The MIGHTY ARSE of folly and stupidity. It sits over there in the corner and deserves a booting.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Like a dog lying in a corner
It will bite you and never warn you
Look out.

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to be like common buttocks.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

colin I do believe that is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!
oh and the whole mindinfiltrationthing has been going on since like last december or whenever I first happened upon this bizznatch but it took polishing off this bottle of no-brand vodka and vageuly looking for decent download rec threads but instead stumbling into another fearful ASSTHREAD for me to get off my, uhm, compellingly pungent child-rearing ass and like, post.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, I am perversely attracted to you. Ms Laura, you have appealingly mud coloured eyes.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

But I thought MIGHTY ARSES were a good thing? :(

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"The mighty arse of folly"??

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

As opposed to the mighty arse of goodness. That exists too.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank you, Colin. I wonder if I could convince some contact lens manufacturer to patent this eye color for their new, trendy color scheme?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, your common buttocks are pungently appealing.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"You fit so well in your element!"

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I've heard stranger.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"I hear you're popular on ILM".

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Allayzee, I do not find you remotely repellent. Trayce, you are almost perfectly symmetrical.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

speak more of this mighty arse

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Trayce, you are almost perfectly symmetrical

the piercing spoils the symmetry

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I think they are, Trayce. And didn't Queen sing about "fat bottomed girls?" Are they the same thing?

And how about the Spinal Tap classic:

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin
That's what I said.
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read.
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo.
I love to sink her with my pink torpedo.
Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about bum cakes,
My gal's got 'em.
Big bottom,
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this behind?
I saw her on monday, twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean.
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheekday
You know what I mean.
My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game's waiting there inside her tights
Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about mud flaps
My gal's got 'em.
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this behind?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www2.gol.com/users/katsura/bigbutt.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I suppose butts that are hand-crafted in small batches are the way forward.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

That piercing makes you look really asymmetrical!

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dammit, I am out of the ass-loop.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

the piercing spoils the symmetry

That could be taken SO the wrong way. Or was that the point? ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

deathisahedgehog, isn't it going to be a bitch to attempt to get back to being a lurker? ;)

I think the one "off-putting" compliment I've received time and again has been, "... but you have such a pretty face," as in, "Your body looks like shit but your face looks normal, so we're focusing in on that." I've never had a good butt either. I've always had a butt that's been far too big for my own good. :(

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

well it depends on the piercing! certain, err, intimate piercings would be completely symmetrical

(xp)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:42 (twenty-two years ago)

It's going to be a bitch, but now I'm aiming for being like, the lurker who shows up every month or so to derail threads into being about Pulp and ass.

Wait, shit, you already have a bunch of people for that, don't you?

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:44 (twenty-two years ago)

A very elderly black man said to me "Nice ass, honey" the other day. That was "mildly" off-putting.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait a minute, DEATH isn't a hedgehog -- as demonstrated on the bugs thread, Miss Penelope is a hedgehog!

http://www.lauraslist.org/031027%20-%20Penelope%201-5%20-%20Small.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Although Laura sez she had just devoured a millipede so I suppose death was a hedgehog anyway.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty sure all those bugs think death is a hedgehog, Ned.

fuck, xpost.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Did someone say "Pulp" and "ass"? HERE I...

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

...stand, surrounded by enemies!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, that's totally harsh. BTW your nonsideburns don't look quite so weird today!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Was I being harsh? I dunno, I thought Ann *was* surrounded by enemies! (I guess I'm neutralesque.) Yay not as weird!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

It is conceivable that I might be named Penelope. Also the hedgehog is all-encompassing. Omnipotent hedgehog.
I will now look for elderly black men to tell me I have a nice ass and to call me honey. Seriously, if I ever got paid ANY of the compliments listed on here it would so make my fucking month. I mean, shit, if I could be assured I was better than jacking off into raw liver it would do wonders for my self-esteem!

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty sure all those bugs think death is a hedgehog, Ned.

Just remember, hedgehogs are not the end.

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh wait, Brian is here, so Ann is not surrounded entirely by enemies. Carry on! I will look out for the Grim Hedgehog.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Hedgehogs are the all.

Mr. Deathisahedgehog-person: I like how you type. The way your fingertips stroke the keys is hypnotic and quite erotic. I imagine that you're good at digging worms and putting them on hook for fishies to nibble. That is what many of us look for in another person.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I HAVE COME FOR YOUR SOUL, RAGGETT!

― the Grim Hedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Why is Ann my enemy??? Did I miss the memo here? WTF is going on.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

(I'm just making a [lame] joke on the fact that the fashion thread seemed to have turned into everyone else vs. Ann.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

posting that accidentally under my housemate's name may be the worst thing I've ever done to him, seriously.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I was about to say, for a lurker why are you registered under someone else's name...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

aha! I DIDN'T post it under his name, I just thought I did!

hence repost: You're Passing Open Windows, I'll hook your worms any day.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

????????? the fashion thread???????????

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, my housemate isn't really an ILX0R, he posts like every two months or so, and I haven't bothered to register properly yet. rest assured I am myself, and not him.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Now where would we be without our ENEMIES? Surrounded by JACKASS SYCOPHANTS (they're like elephants you order from foodservice distros) or FLOATING ALONE IN OUTER SPACE, that's where! I should start a "joy of enemies" thread but I think Whistler beat me to the punch. Now, don't look at the words first, that's cheating -- just tell me: is this Freddie Mercury and The Disco Police?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/whothehell/story/0,12830,990367,00.html

PS Ally did't even bother with that thread I don't think!

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:00 (twenty-two years ago)

It wasn't on the fashion thread, it was on the Rich Eye for the Poor Guy thread, and it all ended in kisses anyway. Mwah to Ann.

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, my mistake. Yay happiness!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Finally something we all can agree on!

Should I go register properly now? I have like made some kind of debut or something I think.

― deathisahedgehog (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that solar flare like, messing wit everyone's BRANES or something?

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

You should turn away now, while you still can, and never look back.

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"You look like me, but please don't turn out like me ..."

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:16 (twenty-two years ago)

TOO LATE! TOO LATE!

― john pettersson (deathisahedgehog), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:17 (twenty-two years ago)

ACK! somebody please take care of that, we aint THAT close yet.

― deathisahedgehog just posted under his real name WTF? (deathisahedgehog), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I could be a genius if I just put my mind to it and I...I could do anything, if only I would get round to it.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, Mr. Hedgehog, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Do you belong to the school of fisher-persons who believe that you should store the worms tucked between your gums and your cheeks to keep them warm, so that when they hit the icy water they will dance more and therefore attract more fish?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Open Windows, you remind me of the worms between my gums and cheeks. Like them, you warm up to dancing and then you attract fish. I mean that in a good way!
(worst post ever - I think I'll just follow Ally's email-address advice now.)

― deathisahedgehog (deathisahedgehog), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you remember the first time?
I can't remember a worse time.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:34 (twenty-two years ago)

BTW, Mary, I couldn't tell whether you were serious about wanting to write fashion articles but I was serious about having a lead if you wanted to talk to this woman, her name's Holly Greenhagen.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Man, if Hedgehog is so cozy with us already, think of all the other MILLIONS of lurkers that know intimate details of ILX0rs' lives!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 05:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I submit this 'compliment' - paid to me this very night on my walk across campus, "damn girl, you gots some fine ghetto ass!"

Thank you and good night.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:04 (twenty-two years ago)

okay so say yr. in a situation like ams' thread about wanting to come on to a gal who yr. friends with? would working in a compliment about her ass into conversation be a decent way to express interest?

like say:
"you should have plenty of dates"
"yeah right"
"well i mean, for starters you've got a great ass"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Sounds reasonable.

― Max Hardcore, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Then she'd say, 'what, that's all I am? A great ass? Gee, thanks, I'll call my parents later to tell them the money they spent on Columbia wa a waster after all, I could have just gone to ASS COLLEGE!"

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

wa a waster = was a waste

Nevermind.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Sterling, that sounds like a reasonable beginning to one of my sexual fantasies, but I'm not sure how it fares in real life.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:22 (twenty-two years ago)

ASS COLLEGE

Our motto: Pyga Ad Infinitum (Or, "Bums to Infinity.")

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

if i'd gone to ass college god knows i'd have studied like crazy

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

while never cracking a book

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"crack"

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks Ann; we want to write fashion articles, but not the professional kind. Thanks anyway though.

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 07:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey, congrats! When's the baby due?"
"Nine months after I get pregnant."

― Skottie, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 08:31 (twenty-two years ago)

With tits like those you'll never drownd.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

you have nice teeth

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

No really, you can hardly tell that your silicone breast implants have migrated to your legs.

― Skottie, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

my friends and I have started saying "I'm not like other guys" as a response to any question of why did you do that.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

we're probably the exact opposite.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"Stand up when I'm talking to you? Wha....huh? Oh, sorry."

― Skottie, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"I think that your nose is just fine."

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

MENELAUS DARCY WE MISSED YOU!!

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey, nice rack"

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

my friends and I have started saying "I'm not like other guys" as a response to any question of why did you do that.

You and your friends are Michael Jackson?

― Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"you have nice teeth."

is this mildly off-putting?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

any compliment that starts with anything like: "i don't are what other people say..."
and/or ends with: "...but i am pretty drunk right now."

but beggars can't be choosers and i'll take 'em anyway i can get em.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"You're not nearly as retarded as N*** said you were."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, 'you're much more intelligent than S**** said!'

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

'Your back has just the right amount of hair'
'I kinda like egg-breath. It reminds me of my Grandpa'

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"you're much funnier when i'm drunk"

― Priscilla Beaulieu Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"Nice anus."

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"You have a George Washington-esque figure."

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

How about when your girlfriend meets your father, stares at him from behind for the entire weekend, then tells you during an intimate moment, "Now I know where your ass came from!"?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew ew ew

― Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

'your tears make a great lubricant'

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

What's your area code again, Lawrence? I'd like to dial 911 for you.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

216. hurry.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

(Ha, you said you were in Cleveland on another thread, didn't you?)

(BTW, do not bite the men in the white coats, okay?)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"Your eyes are too pretty for a boy."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

well...I wouldn't wear it, but it looks okay on you!

People always say this to me. aarrgh. So what, they think that all my clothes are hideous and this just happens to fit with the general pattern?

― kathryn m (kathryn m), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Corollary to Nickalicious: "I love your eyes! Are they real?"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I love your ass - is it real?

― nickalicious, speaking to J Lo possibly. (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"Everything I say bounces off you and comes back to me as fun!"

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 29 October 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"Now I know where your ass came from!"?

So long as it wasn't followed up with testimonies of direct manual comparison, I think you're okay.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

the classics are best:
'you don't sweat much, for a fat
guy/girl/popstar/Boy'

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"you're built for comfort, not speed"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 22:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"SIR! SIR! Can you spare a quarter?"

("Sir" implies respect, see)

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"You look good. Have you been ill?"

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

you have such beautiful eyes....i could just eat them

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Liking your FlowerGal/Aunt Jemima look. (Seriously.)

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

You have nice teeth - reminds me too much of little red riding hood. Also fill in the implied latter half of the sentence ...pity about the rest of you...

I could just eat you up with a teaspoon

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Thursday, 30 October 2003 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"SIR! SIR! Can you spare a quarter?"

Ahhh, and then, the corollary of the off-putting consecration: "God bless you, sir!!"

I'm not sure why it gets me so mad--OK, I've got some idea--but I always bless'em right back ...

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Thursday, 30 October 2003 00:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, at least most of your aliases actually ARE "sirs"!!!!!!!!

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 30 October 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Celebrating Halloween a tad early, are we? How nice for you.

― Skottie, Thursday, 30 October 2003 07:36 (twenty-two years ago)

"Everything I say bounces off you and comes back to me as fun!"

That was actually mildly upsetting and extraordinarily confusing, not off-putting though.

RJG OTM!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 30 October 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

you are better looking than carl cox was the least flattering compliment i have ever recieved

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 30 October 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"You look a bit like Edie Brickell."

― Allyzay, Thursday, 30 October 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the way you dress in the dark.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 30 October 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

but you do ally

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

FUCK YOU.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

This morning I was getting dressed for work, from Sarah: "Wow, Nick, you sure do clean up nice."

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"You look a bit like Edie Brickell."

"i don't know
about too many things
but all i know
is that i pee when i sing..."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha, Nick, I get that just about every time I put on a tie!

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

(you don't - i take it all back!)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom, why does Sarah see you in a tie so often?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

she is his probation officer

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Ok that's enough of you for one day, Stelfox. The Edie Brickell thing was bad enough.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

sory i'm just fulla mischief today, and i've always had a soft spot for edie brickell anyway

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, she's not aware of too many things but she knows what she knows if you know what I mean. Smart girl.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

(damn i'll say anything to get myself out of trouble - tho i have a funny feeling that has only made matters worse - plus i hope to god that never finds its way onto ilm or any of my editors)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

RJG, did you ever know that you're my hero?

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 30 October 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, did someone say that Edie Brickell isn't aware of too many things? Because I'll tell you this, she knows what she knows (if ya know what I mean ;-P).

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 30 October 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

And she "knows" Paul Simon too, eew.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Thursday, 30 October 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

OH, Casuistry, such the copycat!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 30 October 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Well you were copying Kingfish!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 30 October 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I said nada about peeing!

Ok, I guess you're right. *grumble grumble*

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 30 October 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"Every day (sometimes on the subway) I look for a girl or an image to focus on at night while I masturbate. And tonight that girl is going to be . . . you!"

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 30 October 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

ARAGAFAFAGAGH.

Sorry, that thought hurt my head.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 October 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm imagining someone saying that to Mary and Mary thinking, "Hmmm, I don't think I like that. Oh well."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 October 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

And taking an unreasonably large sword out of her handbag.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 30 October 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"(and that's a good thing)"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 30 October 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

One I've gotten more than once w/ regards to my abilities on da mic:

"Wow, you're like the micro machines guy."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 30 October 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Mary, that's just like every day on ILX? I don't understand why you seem bothered by it?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 30 October 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha the jokes on you we men of ILX masturbate to pictures of tippets!

― sneaky sneaky like (nickalicious), Thursday, 30 October 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought you all masturbated to pictures of Spencer.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Thursday, 30 October 2003 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole, I just wanted to let you know you are the funniest motherfucker on this entire board.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 30 October 2003 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

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