what do you call a male mistress?

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So I have a boyfriend, and recently got together with another guy. Moral issues aside, what do I call this new guy? I call him 'the other man' to his face, but that's a bit long. Is there a male equivilant to 'my mistress'?

― Vamp, Monday, 10 November 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Cuckolder?

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

toyboy

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 10 November 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

sonny

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 10 November 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Dick?

― Alex K (Alex K), Monday, 10 November 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Vampon.

― The Grand Took, Monday, 10 November 2003 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Cicisbeo.

― cis (cis), Monday, 10 November 2003 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

concubine (note this is actually offical term in france, i tease a friend of mine as that what is on all his paperwork)

― H (Heruy), Monday, 10 November 2003 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Idiot?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 10 November 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

bitch?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 10 November 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

bit on the side

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 10 November 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Bit of trouser?

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

boy #2

― penelope (penelope), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

First alternate?

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Whatever his name is?

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:14 (twenty-two years ago)

The Gimp

― smee (smee), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:14 (twenty-two years ago)

bob

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

filthy ho

― penelope (penelope), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

sloppy seconds

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Only if he himself has another bit on the side surely?

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

In which case it should be Revolving Boy

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"a bit on the side" seconded.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Craigette.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

no he IS the sloppy seconds if he has to share a woman with another guy!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely he GETS sloppy seconds? Anyway, I still like Revolving Boy.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Fancy Man

― Nicolars (Nicole), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

throbbing gristle

― penelope (penelope), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

oh either way, he is a sap

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Right, agreed. Sap it is. Can we compromise on Revolving Sap?

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Male Whore? Manslut?

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Pudding Boy

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i guess misteress is too confusing...

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

gruff-faced stableman?

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Male Whore? Manslut?

I think you mean ManHo....

― smee (smee), Monday, 10 November 2003 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

MASTER

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

MANHO

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

http://recollectionbooks.com/bleed/images/makhno.gif

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Man In The Slips
Square-Leg Umpire

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

_____o ______ington

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, it's Dave Foley as The Escapist!

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Toyboy? Boytoy?

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Gigolo, if he's getting financial or other material rewards.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Auxiliary Sexgiver

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Mister -- as in "hey, gee, Mister, thanks for the orgasm!"

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still boggling at the "male mistress" thing. Is your new boy a transvestite?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

First Runner-Up

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

i like kate's.

― typo acapulco (gcannon), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Why? What's he like?

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

mistrer

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

bootycall

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

or mistertress?

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Back-door man?

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr. Mistress!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

How about Billy?

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

the correct term is "manwhore"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 10 November 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

It's Manstress, it's gruesome, that someone so handsome should share.

― Dave B (daveb), Monday, 10 November 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

paty of the 2nd part. Anyway this is a bit deplorable and will all end in tears.

― isadora (isadora), Monday, 10 November 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

STUNTCOCK!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 10 November 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

misteriss

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 10 November 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

spencer is correct, manwhore is the appropriate title. although i enjoy using the term clandestinian myself.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Monday, 10 November 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

a stevedwhore

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 10 November 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Nickalicious, you ass, I was gonna say "Jess Harvell"!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 10 November 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Party not paty.

― isadora (isadora), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"Cuckold" is your regular man, the guy you're cheating with your lover, right? Doesn't cuckold have something to do with antlers? How about "mini-moose"?

By the way, i'm probably the only one who got Pashmina's joke upthread...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Men who are cuckolded are generally though of, or rather, symbolically depicted as having horns, hence the antler thing.

The cuckholded man has the horns, the cuckolder doesn't have to have horns. (Though I suppose since he is being cheated on with Man A, then technically, he does have horns, too.)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

haha the clandestinians are responsible for this continuing cycle of the sexing

― Ariel Sharon, Tuesday, 11 November 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

The horns (which represent the cuckolded man as The Fool, right?) are there because the guy doesn't know about the other guy. So the lover is also a cuckold only if he doesn't know about the steady boyfriend.

By the way, if cuckolder really means the guy you're cheating your steady mate with, why not use that word? Of course the word "cuckold/er" carries more negative connotations than "mistress", which I think is because in our patriarchal societies it is considered less wrong for a man to have an extra lover than for a woman. Thus, the man of a cheating woman is shamed/cuckolded, whereas there is no similar term for the lady of a cheating man.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Men who are cuckolded are generally though of, or rather, symbolically depicted as having horns, hence the antler thing.

Because they have the raging horn, because they are not getting any due to their laydee getting her rocks off with her manstress?

― Dave B (daveb), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

No, because they are The Fool, which the horns symbolize. As I said.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

So Fools have the Horn? Lucky them, getting off with the mistresses of the house while the masters of the house are off invading France and maintaining the peace in Wales and all those other things that medieval masters of their castles did.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

By the way, the Finnish word for "cuckold" (meaning the guy who is being cheated) is "aisankannattaja", which means "thill-carrier". I have no idea where that comes from.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

You just made that up.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I think so too. Next he'll be telling us that the Finnish word for male mistress is really "fun-hater". ;-)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not sure I'm using the right word here... What's the English word for the thing that connects a horse to a wagon? Because "aisankannattaja" means someone who's carrying it, like a horse does.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

In Italian, a cuckold is cornuto (hornèd one)

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, if you mean, like "harness" or "yoke" or something, (things which connect horses to wagons) then that actually makes more sense. Because we were thinking you meant "thrill" as in something fun and naughty and exciting.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yes, harness. So the guy who is being cheated wears the harness like a horse would; that's what "aisankannattaja" means. The etymology of the word still escapes me, though.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Most people call him Charlie, if past experience is anything to go by.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Cuckolds have nothing to do with chickens.

― mei (mei), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

gig·o·lo ( P )
n. pl. gig·o·los
A man who has a continuing sexual relationship with and receives financial support from a woman.
A man who is hired as an escort or a dancing partner for a woman.

― Donkey Show, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

Cicisbeo

\Ci`cis*be"o\, n.; pl. It. Cicisbei. [It.] 1. A professed admirer of a married woman; a dangler about women

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

"But 'Cavalier Servente' is the phrase/Used in politest circles to express/This supernumary slave, who stays/Close to the lady as a part of dress--"

"Beppo," George Gordon, Lord Byron

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

Paramour

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

oh i dangle about like a motherfucker, lemme tellya

― geoff (gcannon), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

No, a fannydangle is something else entirely.

― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

cad?
A man whose behavior is unprincipled or dishonorable

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

a what now?

― geoff (gcannon), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

I'd forgotten about this thread.

I still stand by Revolving Sap

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

Haha I can't stop laughing at "Auxiliary Sexgiver"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Understudy

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

Stuntcock is my fave, but Manstress sounds quite good.

― Rumpie, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

so he gets to put it in you whenever you're feeling randy while some other shmuck buys your tampons, deals with your day to day kvetching, and is browbeaten into going to Thanksgiving dinner with your obnoxious neocon family?

I'd call him smart.

― scourge of linden ave, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

Then again, he's so Nov 10th 2003.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:19 (twenty years ago)

This thread is two years old and nobody's come up with "Sancho" yet?

― Vlad Nauseam, Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:24 (twenty years ago)

Nicolars is right - the correct expression is Fancy Man.

― moley (moley), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:51 (twenty years ago)

mister-ess

― j b everlovin' r (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

(damn, someone beat me to it)

― j b everlovin' r (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:53 (twenty years ago)

A fancy man.

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 01:58 (twenty years ago)

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 02:01 (twenty years ago)

Cocksman

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 02:14 (twenty years ago)

can't read the thread no time - but ILX junkien to the point of posting moments pre-flight - but the answer is "gigalo"

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 05:57 (twenty years ago)

number one.

― tres letraj (tehresa), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 06:00 (twenty years ago)

Male Mistress, surely it's a Mattress.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 08:47 (twenty years ago)

i'm very embarrassed about my post, above.

the answer is DAVE.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 10:21 (twenty years ago)

Himstress

― bidfurd__, Wednesday, 23 November 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

Collette wins the "search the thread for the answer I would have posted" award for Misteress.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

What's wrong with the unisex word "lover"?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

Haha, the English language proves its poverty once again. We French of course have a word for this, "amant".

― Baaderonixx weaves a daisy chain for... SATAN!! (baaderonixx), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

Isn't that the same as "lover"?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

well it's only used for illicit male lovers - male mistresses - if you will.

― Baaderonixx weaves a daisy chain for... SATAN!! (baaderonixx), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I think the Finnish word for lover, "rakastaja", is used in the same sense - always for illicit or at least dubious affairs. "Rakastettu" ("loved one") is the word for morally acceptable lovers.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

"Your lover has been vetted by the People's Commissar for Sexing and found to be of the highest moral fiber. You may proceed."

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

wangman

― gershy, Thursday, 20 March 2008 02:30 (seventeen years ago)

I kinda thought a "mistress" was by definition a kept woman of a powerful/rich and married man, not just any woman a man has an affair with.

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 20 March 2008 02:31 (seventeen years ago)

wagemann?

― John Justen, Thursday, 20 March 2008 02:33 (seventeen years ago)

Roguish, rakish, and a scoundrel. Mmmmm.

― kenan, Thursday, 20 March 2008 05:32 (seventeen years ago)

mattress

― latebloomer, Thursday, 20 March 2008 05:36 (seventeen years ago)

blogger

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 March 2008 07:15 (seventeen years ago)

Cicisbeo What a freaking awesome word, it's like a Cocteau Twins song title. Which is funny because they also have one called "My Love Paramour" .

― Trayce, Thursday, 20 March 2008 11:38 (seventeen years ago)

background bonker

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 20 March 2008 11:47 (seventeen years ago)

mistermeanor

― estela, Thursday, 20 March 2008 12:01 (seventeen years ago)

Special Reserve

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 20 March 2008 12:17 (seventeen years ago)

rules of cuckoldry and "getting away with it" discussed here -

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/lollards-podcast/2008/03/freaky-trigger-and-the-lollards-of-pop-series-2-week-17/

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 20 March 2008 12:19 (seventeen years ago)

concuboy

― slugbuggy, Thursday, 20 March 2008 14:43 (seventeen years ago)

_____o ______ington
-- nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, November 10, 2003 2:16 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

i miss jess!

― nickalicious, Thursday, 20 March 2008 14:45 (seventeen years ago)

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 20 March 2008 14:52 (seventeen years ago)

himbo

― valoss, Thursday, 20 March 2008 15:48 (seventeen years ago)

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