Lurking for long enough that you catch yourself thinking you "know" these people and because of the pic threads can *recognize several of them by sight* though they have no idea who you are -- Creepy

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Though lately I've been starting to post more (i've posted to 15 different threads including this one. Holy shitballs!), I'm still sort of creeped out by this realization.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:44 (twenty-two years ago)

This is about oops, isn't it?

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't remember what anyone looks like, its a surprise each time. is that better or worse??!?

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha. I sometimes get creeped out just thinking about all the lurkers out there. How many are there??? And what do you get out of just lurking? I'm just curious.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I undergo severe cognitive dissonance whenever I see someone's photo for the first time. Or if someone posts photos that look very different from their Friendster photo, cough cough Emilymv.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd say better, emily. You probably feel like less of a stalker.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

In the past two days, I have become burdened/blessed with actual knowledge of the physical form of two ILXors whose appearance had previously remained a total mystery to me, one of whom I actually met in the flesh. It is a weird thing indeed...

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"the flesh" is a bondage bar in SF, obviously...

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

What did/do I get out of lurking.....hmmmm....well, there can be some pretty interesting and/or insightful commentary on this site, and it's much more dynamic than your average web locale, so there's always something new to read.

Plus, I've become increasingly anti-social over the last year or so, and when you're by yourself, your old friend Computer is always there to suck up your time. This way I can pretend like I'm still part of society without actually having to deal with people. After all, who wants to deal with *real people* when you can always retreat into the cold comfort of the internet?

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

jaymc-you should talk with your now short hair! anyway, i have new friendster pictures also. and how do they look so different? i posted my old friendster pic on the photo thread here also. the only difference is that i am wearing my glasses in some and not others!

i totally want to go to "the flesh". also, i wish i lived somewhere that made it possible to randomly meet ilxors. i know the other 2 in lexington so well! is anyone is louisville at least?! or cinci?

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, yeah, I get that, Vonda. I'd say pretty much the same thing. But the difference is that I post and you don't (or haven't until recently). Maybe my question is, what's prevented you from posting?

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, where have you seen my short hair, Emily? In my band photo? I must admit, I haven't seen your new Friendster photos. Because we're not actually Friendsters, you know. Very sad. It could happen someday...

I don't think there's anyone in Louisville except Hstencil's parents! Although tonight there was talk about going down there for Lebowski-fest next June.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i totally want to go to "the flesh".

Well, next time you're in town, Emily...

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the longer you lurk, the more intimidated you'd be to post.

oops (Oops), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i think you posted a photo of the short hair, or at least talked about it. i think you made a northern exposure reference! rowr! we should be friendsters!

nordicskills-what town are you located in?

dale the titled and i discussed the derby FAP tonight. who is coming?!?

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I think part of the reason I started posting more is because I thought it would be funny to see the name Vonda Shepard popping up on the board. I find her hilarious.

Also, even though I don't have much desire to go out and be relatively normal human being, I guess I still need SOME kind of contact. Though the fact that I'm increasingly opting for the internet as my social outlet is kinda pathetic.

I don't know what prevented me before. Introversion? Nothing to say? The need to get a feel of the place before I jumped in? Laziness? Probably all that and more.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm in the Bay Area, Emily.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, and sorry to spoil it for anyone who thought that I was the real mcbeal Vonda Shepard. If only I had those pipes!

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Pretty creepy, actually. ILX is moreoreless a concept rather than reality to me. I saw Gareth, Ed, et al at a Sage Francis show and I had no inclination to speak to them - it was just unsettling. I saw Everett and Stevie Chick at a few shows I was reviewing - I think they were Careless Talk shows and I thought [- "this is fucked up". These people have had violent disagreements with me on the internet but have no clue what I look like or really who I am and they are beside me ordering a beer. So yeah, creepy and disturbing - so much so I just think what is the point of getting involved in ILX!

cool kid, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

vonda- every time i see your name after a posting i think of ally mcbeal! *retches*

i do enjoy your posts, though. keep it coming!

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the longer you lurk, the more intimidated you'd be to post.

This may be true. But it also depends on what kind of thread you're posting to. Obviously, it would be hard to insinuate yourself into something like "This is thread where I say..." But I first discovered this site via ILM (I was searching for Pazz & Jop commentary), and in some ways, I think that's easier to just jump into (esp. with all the list threads).

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

(and there's also the gender issue too)

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I think part of the reason I started posting more is because I thought it would be funny to see the name Vonda Shepard popping up on the board. I find her hilarious.

Best reason for posting to ILX ever!!!

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

NO WAY! ilm is much more intimidating that ile! i have lurked there for over 6 months but so rarely post. anything is game for attack on ilm. not safe! so scary!

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

So why do you still post, Cool Kid? (not jumping down your throat, just a neutral question)

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I think part of the reason I started posting more is because I thought it would be funny to see the name Vonda Shepard popping up on the board. I find her hilarious.

I was going to post as Tempest Bledsoe for much the same reasons.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, exactly, emilymv. You're much less inclined to post when you have the nagging suspicion that you have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Emily, I agree that it is more intimidating! But, um, I think it's easier to be anonymous there, if that makes sense. Like, if there's a Beach Boys OPO thread, you can just pop in and say, "Surf's Up" and then be done with it. Know what I mean? It's easier to feel like you're not suddenly part of a community.

Anyway, yes, we should be Friendsters. It's my fault, anyway. I think I never wrote you back a while ago!

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Lite-entertainment while I eat my cereal, have a cup of tea and smoke my first cigarette of the morning. Dunno? You know? I think I'm just looking for a bit of conceptual morning conversation at that moment. ILX is too much like Jean Luc Goddard's Weekend for me to take it seriously.

Cool Kid, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Tempest Bledsoe!

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

okay jaymc, are you friendsters with ned? maybe i could pull you off of his page? vonda- i never know what i am talking about, but i keep talking nonetheless! who cares?!

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned is the internet Kevin Bacon.

oops (Oops), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I Friendsters with Ned? Haha, who isn't Friendsters with Ned, that whore?

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I was introduced to Momus once and he had no idea of the fact that we knew each other through the ILX 'reality'. I never bothered to clear up that fact!

Cool Kid, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:29 (twenty-two years ago)

cool kid: well, I'm not saying that ILX is my lifeblood. When I say that I feel like I "know" these people, I don't mean that I would walk up to them and give them a big wet hug and slap 'em on the back and say "I love you friend." It's more just that I've spent enough time on here that I've started to pick up on people's personalities through their regular postings. What bothers me is that it has been so one-sided, at least for me, that I've accumlated all this knowledge about these people without realizing it.

And it's different than say knowing all about some celebrity because you see there shit everywhere. With this message board, it's more like you in on their personal conversations.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

very few people on ilx aren't friendsters with ned, i would say. although he very rarely posts bulletins or anything! what good is he??

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

But is it actually creepier that you DIDN'T tell him about the ilx connection, cool kid?

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i think so! cool kid keeps secrets! how very deceptive of him!

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:35 (twenty-two years ago)

momus is a celebrity?

I do feel like a good number of ILX0rs I would walk up and hug and kiss when I meet them (the few that I have met have been met as such.) The people I talk to reguarly here. . . well you are as good as friends as this limited media allows (which sometimes is more than so-called RL) but you know this so whatevah. ..

if you are lurking. . .STOP!

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:35 (twenty-two years ago)

RE: Your last paragraph - I don't think that is the case for some - I think ILX has the ability to project what you want to project on complete strangers. You can never truly 'know' someone without spending time with that person. That's like saying: Yes, I read the diary of Joe Orton - thus I know him. The ability for self-censorship and ego delusion is too high.

Is it creepier? Nah. When I am in these situations, like the quick introduction, I sort of know how the conversation will go - some lite banter about ILX, etc and then nothing. I dunno ... I guess I just did not want the hassle and boredom of lite conversation about ILX.

Cool Kid, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Emily: He announced his novel the other day!

Vonda: The funny thing is, even though I'm in the top 50 posters, I also feel like it's weird that I know so much about everyone else, since I've only met a handful of folks and don't consider myself a particularly popular poster. I was just thinking the other day how I could tell you the location of almost everyone on this board. And I think about ILX a lot off-line. It is a little strange.

Emily: Why are we both still awake???

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Vonda - there is a difference between 'reality' and 'ilx reality'.

Cool Kid, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

hm . .i don't think i've talked much if any about ilx when i've talked in person/phone with other ilxors. i hate meta conversation!

yr only a lurker if you think you are. get in. (jaymc you are not a lurker)

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Re: the boredom of lite conversation about ILX -- Ever since my brother started lurking, we talk about ILX every so often, but part of me thinks, "Can't we think of anything better to talk about?" and I get depressed.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Sam, I never said I was a lurker.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(Only that I feel a disconnect sometimes between the degree to which ILX occupies my life, and the degree to which my life occupies ILX, if that makes sense.)

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

He knew who you were, Paul.

suzy (suzy), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

ok. this struck me as so don't consider myself a particularly popular poster. I was just thinking the other day how I could tell you the location of almost everyone on this board.

so i don't know offhand where you are but I reconginize you as a regular poster.

when I see an unsual name/ID I'm intrigued. NEW BLOOD!

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Suzy he had no clue!


Cool Kid, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Sam, if you've developed a mutual interaction with someone, then it makes more sense to hug these people when you meet them for the first time. Though there's still a slight amount of weirdness involved since you've never actually met this person in person before.

I agree with Cool Kid that you can never truly "know" someone until you spend time in person with them. Even several hours of phone conversations can be misleading.

But then again, you can meet someone in person and still never see a certain part of their personality that others might, so who the fuck knows.

And yeah, cool kid, platitudes suck.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Fair enough, Sam. I'm in Chicago, by the way.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:50 (twenty-two years ago)

jaymc-i have insomnia, i don't know about you! i also have found that my best friend (cprek, aka dale the titled, and i talk about ilx alot when we are just hanging out. it is slightly disturbing!

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I would hug you vonda.

and you jay.

i am huggy.

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, so you're friends with Cprek, and then he's also friends with Nickalicious? I mean, I knew that he and Nick were friends, but I thought that you had just come out of the blue, and so I kept thinking, "Three ILXors from Lexington, Kentucky! What are the odds!" (See what I mean, Sam?) Now I'm disappointed that there are actual connections!

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

There's definitely a disconnect between "reality" and "ilx reality." For example, I don't know if I'd enjoy people calling me vonda shepard in real life.

But at the same time, if you've had involved internet conversations with these people, you're most likely discussing the real world. It's not some kind of bizarre everquest-type role playing thing that takes place in a wholly invented universe.

A lot of times these ilx conversations don't seem like they'd be all that different if you'd had a random argument with one of these people at a party, for example.

Where am I going with this? I don't know. it's late and my thoughts are jumbled. I need to go to bed.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Whoops, x-post. That was for Emily, obv.

A hug sounds nice!

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

none of the ilxors I've met in real life are the ones who live in the dallas-ft. worth area. Although Aaron A. did come into my bar, i just wasnt't there at the time.

Also my name is not really Sam but I will respond when you call me that. And my RL friends know that I am also "Samantha" and won't blink if you ask for me by that.

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Howsabout this - I have hung out with Suzy and thought 'Wow this is cool and she and I can be great friends' - but ILX stood in the way. It was a situation where I found that I've spent real time with someone on the board and geniunely liked them as a mate - but found that the fucked perceptions people have of me - and these people who are connected with Suzy stood in the way of the both of us becoming friends. I.E. I was now going to have to deal with every individually fucked perception. Why I did not? I guess I am sensationally private person - and I realised then what a waste of time ILX was for me.


But at the same time, if you've had involved internet conversations with these people, you're most likely discussing the real world. It's not some kind of bizarre everquest-type role playing thing that takes place in a wholly invented universe.

Hmmm ... that's assuming alot - I think it's best though to think of ILX as lite party conversation.

Cool Kd, Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

You're not really named Samantha? Crikey. It was enough when I found out that Felicity isn't really named Felicity!

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

:)

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, that's a mindblower.

I think it's best though to think of ILX as lite party conversation.

And AIM is the makeout room.

oops (Oops), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

jaymc-i am also friends with nick! we have all known each other for years. although at first i did not realize he was "nickalicious". and i think that he and cprek found ilx seperately. but cprek told me about it, and reccommended that i check it out.

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

In my experience the best thing to do is wade in before reading the FAQ and call everyone "insufferable cunts".

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

But sam, you can't really say that for sure, sight unseen. What if you did see me in person and it turned out I was some horribly filthy person (which can be interpreted in any number of ways). You might not want that personal contact.

Haha cool kid. I guess I must not have been paying THAT much attention if I thought that ilx conversations were most likely discussing the real world.

But re your story, I guess for someone as private as you, maybe ilx is a waste of time. But for more outgoing folks like sam seems to be (though I guess for all I know, she's in reality like a hermit steve buscemi or something), it might not be such a waste.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

a hermit steve buscemi

I have no idea how to interpret this.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

a hermit steve buscemi

that just made Sam ahelluvalotmoreinterestingtome...

Cool Kid, Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I would still hug you vonda. Bizarrely and despite my otherwise, bitch, ass-kicking persona I am huggy.

I mean I am a southern belle and call everyone "sweetie", "honey", and "baby".

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i love nick southall's advice. "a hermit steve buscemi"- like his character in ghost world? with whom i would love to do thr dirty things? DREAMY!

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I was trying to basically say "a funny-looking reclusive person."

But now I feel bad because steve buscemi seems like a really cool person. Plus, he's Donnie.

But then again, how the fuck do I know? In reality, he could be like a mutant Vonda Shepard or something.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to bed.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm i really like steve buscemi. . .

if I am outgoing (which I think I am) it is only b/c on the inside I am such a hermit. ..


argh. . .I once had a guy tell me that watching Ghost World made him think of me all day. Was this supposed to be a come on or something??

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Plus, he's Donnie.

I went bowling about earlier tonight (okay, by now it's well into yesterday), and at one point someone a couple lanes over barked "Donnie, you're out of your element!" It made me wonder how many times someone's said that in a bowling alley in the last five years. Millions, I bet.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Sam, I can see that -- you've always struck me as a critically acclaimed film adaptation of an alternative comic.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Sam- i have gotten that too! and yes, it was definitely a "come on". i guess at least it is a refreshing one.

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

the guy who fed me that line said it was b/c I had glasses, pale skin, and big boobs. :(

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i guess i fit that profile as well. and for a while, my hair (blonde) was dyed black. the guy that said it to me said that it was because of my "unusual style of dressing" whatever that means!

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

it means he is an unimagintive perv. but at least he was watching ghost world..

A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel ya, ladies.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Do these guys also refer to beers as brews? I think I know the type.

oops (Oops), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

And friends as buddies?

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

hahahaha

oops (Oops), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

omg

RJG (RJG), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

And on that note, goodnight everybody! No seriously, I'm going to bed.

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

buddies as bros....

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You people just hug when you meet? No sex at all? How odd.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 15 November 2003 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

tits?

athos magnani (Cozen), Saturday, 15 November 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

although he very rarely posts bulletins or anything! what good is he??

Emily, you are the queen of regular bulletins and I will not deny. I just post the occasional 'hi there! here's what's up.'

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 15 November 2003 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

What a creepy and disturbing thread this has become before I could form a serious contribution! I think I'll lurk a bit more.

nestmanso (nestmanso), Saturday, 15 November 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm rather tickled by the thought that our various friendships push doomie that little bit further out of our lives. It's like some parable, good overcoming evil. Or good overcoming mindbreakingly tedious solipsism.

Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 15 November 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually I find this very disturbing. I was arguingspeaking with another regular ilxor the other day & then someone who I didnt recognise said 'oh that's the second time I've seen you do that' & it really freaked me out. It amazes me that ppl will actually follow what you say!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Saturday, 15 November 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

People! They're only patterns in the information flow. (That doesn't mean they don't follow you, my dear pattern.)

nestmanso (nestmanso), Saturday, 15 November 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I am a lurker.

Skottie, Saturday, 15 November 2003 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i was unaware that suzys friendships with other people had affected your relationship with her paul. i must admit i dont really understand that, but i think its good that you still stick around on ilx. as one of the old-guard now, it is good you dont take the easy option and just jack it in like many before you.

i agree with you that ilx is not reality. but then i do not believe in that concept either.

i think the one thing that everyone has in common is that they all get what they want from it. i think thats the same in life, everyone gets what they need from it, otherwise they would not bother i guess

fwiw, i have never had a violent disagreement with you on the internet (i assume you are talking about others here, although i dont really know who), i have only ever considered our chats online as entertaining banter, a little joshing, a bit of a laugh (im sure you are the same),

as to the question, i have never wondered whether i 'know' someone for real or not, because its a strange concept to me. there is no such thing as to 'know' someone. you could be married for 20 years to someone then you find out they are having an affair, or they might blow their own head off. how could you not know this if you know them so well. because you failed, you didnt know them properly. its nothing to worry about though

you shouldnt take ilx seriously i think. you shouldnt take life seriously either. life is funny

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

although on the other hand, i think people often know someone better than they know someone else. self-knowledge is a biased subjectivity. people think others dont know them, and they are right, but they might know them better than they know themselves.

all of this is not really of consequence, but thats ok

charltonlido (gareth), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

ed looks like a tree when he wears a green boiler suit. i know this. he does not. he does now.

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth, you are quite mad.

Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:45 (twenty-two years ago)

what do you mean? the hair is kind of like branches, do you not think. and then the green boiler suit is kind of like a trunk. it is like a blustery september day on the edge of the pennines

charltonlido (gareth), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

no he isn't say some more cs i'm drunk and can't shade yr thoughts, gareth

athos magnani (Cozen), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

How do you even know of the green boiler suit?

Ed (dali), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no, I don't think you're wrong about Ed. But Paul B? If he had to take human interaction seriously he'd become instantaneously and massively aware of his own inadequacy and would dissolve into nothingness.

Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i have to be honest and say that i am still learning, and am perhaps a little out of my depth on this thread, so i cant elucidate as fully as i might like to. i think it is more like, images are clearer, and words confuse. words lie, but images lie more clearly. althuogh of course that is not correct since it isnt really possible to lie. if you see what i mean. apologies if i have been unclear, but, like i say, its a learning curve for me also

charltonlido (gareth), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i know of the green boiler suit ed. how could i not know?

charltonlido (gareth), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Doomie and Gareth are merging!!

Aargh, I am getting stressed about doomie again. So he's won. Will I ever learn?

Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

how would paul know of the green boiler suit? i cant really imagine paul having even the slightest of interest in boiler suits. but then, on the other hand, i dont know so much about this topic

charltonlido (gareth), Saturday, 15 November 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

now that I've slept....
Earlier upthread, I think that when I said "hermit steve buscemi" I had his ghost world character in mind, but also a sort of combination of all the various loser-type characters he's played. And then a little troll version of that (not an internet troll, but more like the little humanoid guy that lives under the bridge).

"I went bowling about earlier tonight (okay, by now it's well into yesterday), and at one point someone a couple lanes over barked "Donnie, you're out of your element!" It made me wonder how many times someone's said that in a bowling alley in the last five years. Millions, I bet. "

man that really sucks. the people that work at bowling alleys must have this inner clump of hatred that grows everytime they hear someone think they're being funny by quoting the big lebowski in a bowling alley.

But anyway, now I'm going to try and think of a way to uncreep and undisturb myself.

Vonda Shepard, Saturday, 15 November 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a semi-lurker. I'm far too intimidated to post most of the time due to the creepy factor of walking up to a group of people having a conversation (figuratively speaking of course) and interjecting something. Of course, listening in on that same conversation is equally creepy, if not more so. SO I suppose that must not be the real reason.

At any rate, recognizing people whom you've never met from pictures that you've seen on the internet and greeting them would be a serious breach of etiquette, imho. Similar to accosting celebs in public places. Only worse. I never do either, for what it's worth, as I have a serious problem recognizing even people I know, much less those I don't.

mouse, Saturday, 15 November 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

cheers for the explanation, gareth. we did have a bit of a 'run-in' but that occurred after my parents died so ... i pretty much discount it as fucked-up-ness on my part. i suppose leaving all that knowledge and many people having that knowledge is embarrassing like a channel five melodrama. so the idea of having to face loads of ilxors connected to suzy who do have personal knowledge of myself when given by myself is not my idea of a good time. and i'm not really a gregorious person - more like very private in real life - so the idea of meeting alot of people who seemingly 'know' me without 'knowing me' (in my definition) and holding on to what they have projected onto me just does not seem ideal. i've always held to the ideal that more people equals more complications. ilx factoring in beyond lite entertainment - is overly complicated!

cool kid, Sunday, 16 November 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i've not bothered with the 'fault-factoring' aspects of my post. everyone else can do that.

cool kid, Sunday, 16 November 2003 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

cool kid, I agree that there is definitely a difference between communicating with people over the 'net vs communicating with people in person. But I don't think internet communication should necessarily be regarded with the contempt that you have for it. Sure it CAN be "lite" but it isn't always that way.

Also, I've noticed that it seems like the second your name comes up on a thread, people start bashing you. Why is that? What did you do? Could this have anything to do with your contempt for this place?

Vonda Shepard, Sunday, 16 November 2003 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

and am I overstepping my boundaries by asking this? Is this not lite enough?

Vonda Shepard, Sunday, 16 November 2003 06:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Non-lite questions produce greater impact--more and bigger lumps shooting in stranger and more unforeseeable directions. That's all right. Boundaries are marked by a visible "thread locked".

nestmanso (nestmanso), Sunday, 16 November 2003 06:51 (twenty-two years ago)

vonda, maybe search on 'orangecrushnapalm' as an email address

ron (ron), Sunday, 16 November 2003 07:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Obviously, it would be hard to insinuate yourself into something like "This is thread where I say..."

I had to stop reading this thread just to respond to that *points above*.

jaymc, I actually especially look forward to the "This is the thread where I say..." threads, because I view them as the least intimidating and most informal things about this forum, places where I get to just be my everyday, average self. No need to try to impress anyone. I'd be absolutely thrilled if more people were to seriously participate in it, especially if they were friendly.

To those of you who are repeating the line that you're too intimidated by this forum to do anything other than just the occasional de-lurk: Please, folks, look at me. I'm nobody special and I certainly don't have the wit or brainpower of a LOT of people around here, and I still not only continue to go here but end up posting quite a lot. If *I* can do it, *you* can do it.

Sam, thank you for being one of those super-welcoming people.

Pancakes For Breakfast! (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 16 November 2003 08:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Never been one for lurking myself like.Im a sorta GET STUCK IN THERE blerk me.

its me again ! (its me again !), Sunday, 16 November 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Dee, I know. I'm still trying to put a finger on what exactly I meant when I said that. I don't think it's just a matter of people being welcoming or not. Maybe what I mean is that the entire notion of being part of the "ILX community" can itself be a sort of intimidating prospect, and that this sense of community, that we're all just a big group of friends, is perhaps more apparent on certain ILE threads than on ILM ones. If you're just arguing about music, you can be fairly anonymous, you're not giving yourself over that much; but if you're talking about relationships and your personal life, suddenly you're emotionally involved with the group. And I can see how someone (a lurker) might feel intimidated about joining a conversation that appears to be personal, and between friends. I'm not saying this is justified, because I do agree that people are by and large welcoming, but it might appear this way.

jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 16 November 2003 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Why I lurk, a short post by Poppy. On a practical basis, I'd like to contribute more often, but I'm only on the net for a little while each day and can only throw in an occasional "favourite" list or anecdote - I won't be able to respond to anything I've written until the next day, and so I stick with bland statements instead of writing more conversational types of posts. Also, often someone else has already said what I'd like to say, but in a far more witty or insightful way. Having lurked for a long time I do feel like I sort of "know" ILX people, it is a bit alarming to be able to tell who wrote a post just from the style of writing in their first paragraph. But I think the practical benefit I get from ILX (in the form of tips and advice, recommendations, and just the feeling that other people out there are experiencing the same things I am from time to time) is a positive enough thing to outweigh the momentary weirdness I might feel from generally being unseen and unheard.

Poppy (poppy), Sunday, 16 November 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I lurk, pretty much, and last night I had an extremely involved and startling dream about two uk-ish ilxors, in spite of the fact that these people don't know me at all and I have never had any contact with them whatsoever in Real Life, or whatever. I think Disturbing.

Alex in Doncaster (Alex in Doncaster), Sunday, 16 November 2003 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)


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